Perspectives
by TheRealThing
Summary: An AU story told from the points of view of each member of the Skywalker family. Luke and Leia are sixteen when this begins. The rest- well you'll just have to read it to see what else is going on in the galaxy.
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue – voice of Luke Skywalker _

I dreamed of my father last night. I dream of him often, though I never met him. He died before I was born, or so I'm told. I'm never quite sure if Uncle Owen is being truthful when he speaks of my parents, which he only does on extremely rare occasions. I'm not sure why, but I feel like he's lying. More than this – I feel his fear. Of course I can't tell him that; I learned as a very young child to hide my 'special abilities' from him. One of my earliest memories is making my stuffed bantha levitate above my crib. I don't know how I did it; I just did it. I know my aunt and uncle are afraid of my abilities, that's why they've done their best to restrain them in me. I love them both, and I owe them everything; so I don't use them. Much. Sometimes I can't help it though, but that's not something Uncle Owen would understand. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

My father always looks the same in my dream, and I'm not sure why that is. Perhaps I have a preconceived idea of what he looked like, perhaps it's how I wish he looked, because he always looks like me. His hair is blond like mine, his eyes are blue like mine; but he's tall and strong, most _un_like me. I never get to speak to him though. There's so much I want to say to him, so much I would ask him if I could; but I will never get the chance. I will never meet him, and that's that. I just wish I wouldn't dream of him so often….

Chapter One

It's the first day of the week, and I'm relieved that I can go back to school. The work they give us there is far easier than the back breaking toil I have to perform at the farm. Not only that, there are other kids my own age to talk to; among them some pretty cute girls. There's one I've had a crush on for almost a year now; but she doesn't even know I exist. Maybe if I wasn't so darned shy I could actually speak to her without sounding like a total loser. I wonder if my father was shy when he met my mother….

"Skywalker, do you have an answer?"

My daydreaming is rudely interrupted by my math teacher, who is staring down her nose at me in the way I know means she's ticked off. _So what else is new? _I muse.

"Yes Ma'm," I reply, knowing exactly what her question is. "The answer is the square root of five thousand."

She frowns, annoyed that I in fact _was _paying attention. Teachers hate that. Her lips press together and she gives me a brief nod. "Correct," she says begrudgingly. I smile.

As classes are dismissed for the day later that morning, I am approached by Mr. Kitomar, the head master of the school. _Great, _I think, with a sinking feeling, wondering why I'm in trouble.

"Skywalker, a word with you if you please," he says, indicating for me to follow him.

"Yes sir," I mumble, knowing better than to ask questions. I follow him into his office and sit down on the well worn upholstered chair facing his desk. I pick nervously at the threadbare armrests as I wait for him to tell me what's on his mind.

"You have an excellent academic record, Luke," he begins, taking me by surprise.

"Thank you sir," I manage to stammer.

"No need to thank me," he replies. "Most sixteen year old boys don't have your dedication and self discipline," he continues. "I'm impressed."

"Thanks," I say again, starting to feel self conscious.

"I'm not the only one who's impressed, it seems," Mr. Kitomar continues, picking up a datapad from his desk. "It seems you've attracted the attention of the Imperial Academy."

My mouth drops open at this point, totally involuntarily. "Excuse me??" I ask him incredulously. "Did you say the _Academy??_"

The headmaster nods. "I did," he replies. "You see there is a scholarship program that was started three years ago," he continues. "And you qualify," he added, glancing down at the datapad.

"I'm a little confused, sir," I admit. "How did they know about my marks? Way out here? It's not like we're exactly the centre of the universe," I continue.

Mr. Kitomar smiles. "No, not exactly," he agrees. "I sent them in, Luke," he tells me. "You see, I'm aware of your family's…financial situation," he continues, trying to be tactful. I can feel the colour rising to my ears by now. "And I also know a child prodigy when I see one," he added. "You're a brilliant young man, Luke," he declares, looking at me. "And I would hate to see your potential wasted on this…back water planet. You have too much to offer, son. I wanted to make sure you had a chance to show the galaxy what you're made of."

I am too stunned to speak for a moment. The Academy…I have always dreamed of going there one day, but know that Uncle Owen is far too poor to send me. He has been saying 'next year, next year,' for so long I've stopped asking; but now I can go, I can really go!

"Well?" Mr. Kitomar asks as I stare at him, slack-jawed. "What do you think, Luke?"

"I think I'm dreaming," I stammer finally.

He chuckles. "Does that mean you're interested?" he asks.

"Interested?? Oh yeah, you bet!" I tell him. "Thank you so much, Mr. Kitomar," I say, jumping to my feet and holding my hand out to his. "You won't regret giving me this chance, I promise," I aver, pumping his hand like an idiot.

Kitomar smiles indulgently. "No, I'm sure I won't," he replies. "Good luck, Luke," he adds. "Now get on home to tell your folks. You'll be leaving at the end of the week for Imperial Centre."

"Yes, sir!" I reply, and dance out of the room, walking five or six metres above the ground.

All the way home, my mind races with what possibilities the future now holds for me. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that this could happen to me! Me…an insignificant farm boy, son of an obscure navigator. I stop in my tracks half way to my speeder. _Uncle Owen will never let me go, _I realize with a cold, sinking feeling creeping into my stomach. _He never lets me go anywhere…what makes you think he'll let you go to Imperial Centre?? _I frown as I slowly continue on my way, my mind now working frantically to find a way to make this work. I have to get off this planet; my very sanity depends on it!

Chapter 2

"You're late."

I am greeted by these words as soon as I enter the kitchen. Uncle Owen is looking at me suspiciously as Aunt Beru sets the table for lunch.

"Sorry," I mumble, sliding into my seat. "I had to talk to the head master."  
Aunt Beru stops pouring and looks at me, her brow furrowed. "Why?" she asks in a worried tone. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I assure her. "In fact, I have some pretty exciting news."

"And what might that be?" Uncle Owen grumbles as he shovels food into his mouth.

I look from him, back to my aunt who is looking at me expectantly and then back at my uncle.

"I've been given a scholarship to go to the Academy," I tell them, the excitement evident in my voice. "Can you believe it?? I can go to the Academy and it won't cost you anything!"

The silence my announcement is met with surprises me, and I look at my guardians, sensing the fear in each of them.

"Who's giving you a scholarship? And why?" Uncle Owen asks finally, the suspicion clear in his tone.

"The Empire," I tell him defensively. "Mr. Kitomar sent my marks in, and…"

"He sent information about you to the Empire?" Aunt Beru asks, an edge of panic in her voice.

"Just my marks," I reply. "Why? I thought you two would be happy about this," I continue, starting to feel hurt by their lack of enthusiasm. I've come to expect it from my uncle, but Aunt Beru is always so generous with her praise. "Why are you acting like this is a bad thing?" I ask.

Neither of them answers right away, and my suspicions grow. "What aren't you telling me?" I venture.

"It isn't a bad thing, Luke," Aunt Beru finally replies, neatly dodging my second and more difficult question. "We're very proud of you, aren't we Uncle?" she continues, prodding my uncle into a response.

"Of course," he grunts.

"So why are you acting this way?" I ask.

"We …we just don't like the idea of you leaving, that's all," Uncle Owen says. "There's a lot of work to be done around here, and…"

"You don't want me to go to the Academy because I have too many _chores_ to do?" I ask in disbelief. "Is that what you're telling me?"

Uncle Owen frowns, and I can see that I've made him mad. "Lose the attitude, boy," he snaps. "I won't be spoken to in that tone of voice, you hear me?"

I lower my eyes to my uneaten meal. "Yes sir," I mutter as a sinking feeling starts in the pit of my stomach. _I'm not going…I'm never going…I'll never get off of this rock…_

"Luke, you know we want what's best for you," my aunt begins in her gentlest tone. "We always have. And we know how much you want to go to the Academy. You're a bright young man, and you _should _go," she continues. "It's just that…we're afraid," she adds, glancing at my uncle. "You see, your father….well…"

"What? What about my father?" I ask, looking up immediately.

"He had a criminal record," Owen speaks up. My aunt looks at him quickly and with a surprised expression. "The name Skywalker is one that will bring you unwanted attention, Luke. Do you understand?"

I'm not sure which feels worse at this point; knowing my father was a criminal or the thought that my name is tainted…and yet, even still, I don't believe them.

"Yeah, sure," I mumble, picking up my fork and playing with my food.

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are silent for a few minutes, and I can tell that they're in negotiations. I know they want what's best for me, and I know they love me; but I can't let this chance pass me by, I just can't!

"There's only one way this could work," Owen speaks up at last, and I can tell he's labouring with each word.

I look up at once. "What's that?" I ask.

"Don't use the name Skywalker," he tells me. "Use Lars instead."

My immediate reaction is one of absolute refusal. My name is all I have of my family, the only piece of my heritage that I have left. And yet, if it will prevent me from follow my dreams, am I a fool to hold on to it so stubbornly? Would my father understand if I agreed to this?

"Okay," I say at last. "I guess I can do that. We'll have to tell Mr. Kitomar though, before he sends in my stuff to the dean's office."

"Then let's get down there right now before he does," Uncle Owen says, standing up. It's so unlike him to act so quickly and decisively that it troubles me even more. What had my father done that his name was now so notorious? I want to ask, but I don't want to know. Does that make sense?

Mr. Kitomar is just leaving his office when Uncle Owen and I arrive. He doesn't seem surprised at all, no doubt expecting I'd be returning with my guardian at some point.

"Come right in, Mr. Lars," he says, opening the door to his office once more. "I'm sure you've got a lot of questions."

"A few," Uncle Owen replies, stepping into the office. I follow behind and take a seat as the two adults begin their discussion.

"Luke tells me this is all paid for by the Empire," Uncle Owen begins, embarrassing me with his bluntness.

"That's right," Mr. Kitomar replies. "That's the nature of scholarships, Mr. Lars. I'm aware that you….don't have the means to send Luke to the Academy," he continues. Uncle Owen shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "This way he can go and it won't cost you anything."

Uncle Owen nods in understanding and looks at me. "If we do this, I don't want Luke using his own name," he says.

Mr. Kitomar frowns, clearly confused by my uncle's request. "Very well," he says simply. "I haven't submitted any of Luke's information. What name would you like us to use?"  
"Lars," Uncle Owen replies. "Luke Lars is how we want him to be known." To my great relief he doesn't explain why.

"Very well," my headmaster replies, making a note of it. "I will make sure of it."

"When do I go?" I pipe up, unable to keep quiet any longer.

"The next semester begins at the end of this week," Mr. Kitomar explains. "I hope that's not too soon," he adds.

Uncle Owen looks at me, and I can feel his apprehension. "I suppose not," he replies, a hint of sadness in his voice. I look away, the look in his eyes bringing a lump to my throat. This isn't something I'd counted on, and the last thing I want to do is cry in front of my head master.

"Well we need to get back to the farm," Uncle Owen says, standing up. "Thanks for your trouble," he adds, putting out a hand to Mr. Kitomar.

"Not at all," the headmaster replies. "Your nephew is a brilliant young man," he says, looking at me. "I'm sure you and your wife must be very proud."

Uncle Owen smiles, ever so slightly. "Yeah, we sure are," he replies.

"Guess you'll be needing some new things," Uncle Owen says as we reach the speeder.

I shrug, uncomfortable with the thought of him having to spend money on me. "I'll have a uniform, so I don't know how much I'll need."

"Well your Aunt Beru would be horrified if you went to Coruscant with shabby underpants," he replies with a smile. "So let's make sure we get you some decent stuff."

I smile, knowing he's right.

"You know, I could sell my speeder to help pay for this stuff," I offer as we park outside the small shopping area in Anchorhead.

Uncle Owen says nothing for a moment. "Not planning on ever coming back, are you?" he says.

"I didn't say that," I reply at once. "I just won't be needing it."

"I see," he replies, holding the door open for me. "Well we'll see if Zach will take it. I know his boy's been bugging him for one for months now."

After purchasing some decent clothes and a few school supplies, Uncle Owen and I leave the shop. The shopkeeper has agreed to buy my speeder, which I will deliver to him in a few days time. I had a lot of good times with it; I hope its new owner will too.

As we reach our speeder, I notice that Ben Kenobi is standing there watching it. He's kind of the local village idiot, or at least that's what Uncle Owen calls him. As soon as he sees the strange old man he gets angry.

"Get out of here, Kenobi," he says, as we place our packages in the storage trunk.

"Is there some law against being sociable?" Kenobi asks. "I merely wanted to say hello to young Luke here," he adds, looking at me. "You know, you look more like your father every time I see you," he comments.

"I do??" I ask. "You knew my father??"

"Luke, get in," Uncle Owen commands, in a tone that I dare not ignore.

"I did," Kenobi continues, walking to the front of the speeder.

"I'm warning you old man," Uncle Owen says, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Ben looks at my uncle, and then steps back. I guess he figured it wasn't smart to get him mad. Guess he's not as crazy as everybody says.

"Did Ben really know my father?" I ask my uncle as we speed home. "Or is he just delusional?"  
"He's just a crazy old man, Luke," Uncle Owen replies, not answering my question one way or another. "Don't let him bother you."

I frown, wishing, just for once, I'd get a straight answer. Maybe I need to talk to Ben Kenobi on my own. Maybe he'd be able to answer some of my questions. I'm leaving Tatooine in a few days, though, so it's not likely I'll get the chance. _Probably just as well, _I tell myself as we carry the packages into the house. _Like Uncle Owen said, he's a crazy old man. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

The next few days pass by surprisingly quickly. Word has spread around my school of my scholarship, and people have been treating me different because of it. I'm not sure I like all the attention, and part of me wishes I could just leave without have to pretend I'm going to miss this place.

Aunt Beru has been weepy for days, and I know she's doing her best not to be. I keep promising her that I'll be home for visits whenever I can; but somehow that doesn't make her feel much better. I sense that she's worried about me; and not the typical is-he-going-to-eat-his-vegetables-and-wear-clear-underpants sort of worry. _Really _worried, like I'm going to be in mortal danger once I leave the atmosphere of Tatooine.

As promised, I take my speeder to Zach's shop at the end of the week. His son is three years younger than I am, and is waiting at the door with his father. I can see how excited the kid is, and I give him a smile.

"So you're off to the Academy," Zach tells me as he hands me his money.

"Yes sir," I reply. "Tomorrow in fact."

He nods. "Well, don't forget your roots, Luke," he advises. "Don't forget where you came from, you hear?"

"I won't sir," I assure him. "Don't worry."

"Well, good luck to you son," he adds, holding out his hand. I shake it, feeling very much like an adult all of a sudden.

"Thanks," I reply. "And thanks for buying the speeder."

"No trouble at all," he replies, looking with a smile at his son who is already inside the craft. "Young Trev here's been after me for months to buy him one. You just saved me the hassle of goin' out and getting one."

I laugh, and then wave him off as he returns to the shop. I look up and down the street, looking for Biggs. He's promised to pick me up so I don't have to walk all the way home. With all the tusken raiders hanging around after dark it would be a pretty dangerous thing to do. He's no where in sight. _Great. _

I walk up and down the street, noticing that it's starting to thin out. People are heading home for supper. This makes me realize how hungry I am. _Where are you Biggs?? _

"Hello again, young Luke."

I look around to see Ben Kenobi standing there. I remember what my uncle told me, and become cautious.

"Hi," I say, wishing more than ever that Biggs would show up.

"You see rather lost," he comments.

"No, just waiting for my ride," I assure him.

"I see," he replies. He looks back and spots Trev sitting in my old speeder. "Is there something wrong with your vehicle?" he asks.

"No, well…it's not mine anymore," I tell him. "I just sold it."

"I see," Kenobi replies. "In the market for a new one, are you?" he asks.

I can tell that's he's fishing for information, and I have to smile. "No, I'm leaving Tatooine tomorrow," I tell him. "I won't be needing one."

An expression comes over Kenobi's face that surprises me. He looks almost terrified, and I don't understand why.

"I wasn't aware that Owen had sold the farm," he says after he recovers himself.

"Oh he hasn't," I assure him, looking down the street again. "I'm going on my own. I'm going to the Academy."

Kenobi says nothing for a moment, and I can sense that he is very uneasy. Is he really just a crazy old man? Or does he know something that I don't?

"I could give you a ride home if you wish," Kenobi says after a few moments of awkward silence. "Doesn't look like your friend is coming."

I hesitate, unsure if I ought to accept his offer. Uncle Owen has warned me for years about Kenobi; but he seems harmless to me. Besides, if there's a chance that he knew my father, this might be the only chance I'll ever get to ask him about him.

"Yeah sure," I say at last. "Thanks."

I'm rather surprised that the old man owns a vehicle, but I'm grateful that he does. It's getting dark by the time we reach it, and Biggs has let me down. I'll make sure I tell him how annoyed I am when I see him again.

"So you're going to the Academy," Kenobi says as we speed along. "You must be very excited."

"Yeah I sure am," I tell him. "I've been wanting to go for a long time now."

"Oh? And why is that?" he asks.

I shrug. "I guess just for some adventure, a change of scenery," I tell him.

He smiles. "A lot of hard work is what you'll be getting," he tells me. "I hope you know that."

"I know," I assure him. "I can handle it," I add.

He smiles again with a shake of his head. "You are so much like your father, Luke," he tells me.

I don't know if I should believe him, but I want to. I want any connection with my father, even this crazy old man.

"You knew him? Really?" I ask.

"Yes, I knew him better than most people actually," Kenobi tells me.

I nod, wanting with all my heart to believe him. "My uncle told me he had a criminal record," I tell him. "That's why I shouldn't use my name when I go to the Academy. I'm going to use Lars instead."

Kenobi is silent as he considers this. "I think it's wise not to use the name Skywalker," he tells me. "But your father was no criminal, Luke. Far from it, in fact. He was a great Jedi, and a hero of the Clone Wars."

I look at the old man in shock. Surely I've misunderstood. "Wait a minute, you're telling me that my father was a _Jedi_??"

Kenobi nods. "That's exactly what I'm telling you," he tells me. "Surely you've noticed that you're different from other boys your age, Luke," he continues. "Surely you've discovered that you have certain abilities that aren't common."

"Yeah, I have," I tell him, starting to believe what he's telling me. "Uncle Owen always told me it was my imagination," I add.

"Your uncle never believed in your father's ideals," Kenobi tells me. "It's natural that he'd try to curb your innate abilities. But it's in your blood, Luke. The Force runs strong in your veins, just as it did in your father."

All this information is too much for me to take in, and I find myself wanting to ask a thousand questions. But we're almost home, and I know once Uncle Owen sees me with Kenobi I'll never get to see him again. This is my last chance.

"How did my father die?" I ask him.

A look of pain crosses Kenobi's weather-worn face for a moment, and I can sense from him tremendous sadness. "He was betrayed, Luke," he tells me, the sorrow clear in his voice. "Betrayed and murdered."

I feel like a cold hand has reached in and grabbed my heart. More than this, I feel anger; anger that my uncle lied, anger that my father's life was taken and that I never got to meet him. I'm about to ask Kenobi who killed him when I see my uncle standing at the top of the homestead's wall, and I know I'm in trouble.

"Be careful in the capitol, Luke," Kenobi tells me. I turn and look at him, and I can see in his eyes that he is not mad.

"I will," I tell him. "Thanks," I add, climbing out of the speeder. "Thanks for everything, Ben."

He smiles at me, and then has the good sense to speed off before Uncle Owen can give him a blast.

"What the hell were you doing with that crazy old wizard?" Uncle Owen asks me.

"I needed a ride," I explain. "Biggs stood me up," I add. "Ben happened to be there."

"Yeah, sure he did," I hear him mutter. "Come on down," he says. "Your aunt has a cake for you. Try to act surprised."  
I smile. "I'll do my best."

Chapter 4

I awaken to the sounds of my own shouting. The conversation I had with Ben Kenobi the previous evening no doubt had an impact on my subconscious, for I dream about my father again. But this time, I dream of his murder. I don't quite remember the details, or who was responsible; I just know that he was killed.

Sitting up in my bed, I find myself shaking. This isn't how I wanted to start this day, but here it is. I run my hands through my shaggy, sweat-soaked hair and try to calm myself. I close my eyes and focus on what the day holds for me. I feel a knot in my stomach as I climb out of bed, and I'm not sure if it's fear, anxiety or excitement. Maybe it's all three.

I can tell right away that Aunt Beru has been awake most of the night; her eyes are puffy. I think she's been crying. Uncle Owen is just quiet, but I can feel that he's as sad as my aunt is over my departure.

"You be sure to contact us as often as you can," Uncle Owen tells me as we're eating breakfast. "You know how your aunt worries," he adds for good measures.

"I'll do my best," I tell them. "I promise," I add, looking at my aunt. She nods, and I can tell she's doing her best not to cry.

"Well, the transport leaves at 9," I tell them, "so I'd better get my stuff together."

Uncle Owen gives my aunt a quick glance, and then looks back at me. "I'll give you a hand," he says, standing up.

As I expected, saying goodbye to my Aunt Beru, the only mother I've ever had, is very difficult for both of us. She can't keep the tears back any longer, and hugs me tightly as Uncle Owen stows my gear in the back of the speeder.

"You take good care now," she tells me tearfully. "Be a good boy," she adds, touching my face lightly with a slight smile. "I know you will be, you always are."

I smile, and kiss her on the cheek. "I love you," I tell her. "And I'll call often, I promise."

Aunt Beru nods in response. I know what she wants to say, but her tears prevent her. After one more hug, I leave her to join my uncle above.

We speed along to Mos Eisley, the conversation between us strained and unnatural. I know how worried he is, how much he hates to see me go. But to his credit, he's letting me go.

"You stay out of trouble, you hear?" he says as we unload my bags.

"I will," I assure him. "I'll be home as often as I can," I tell him.

"Good," he replies. "I could use the help," he adds gruffly.

"I know," I tell him. "You should be able to buy a decent droid with the money I got for my speeder," I remind him.

"Yeah, I suppose so," he admits. He looks at me, and I know he's doing his best to keep his emotions in tight control. "Well Luke, guess you should get to the ship before you miss your passage," he tells me. He gives me a quick, tight hug, and then a pat on the shoulder to send me on my way. I pick up my haversack and sling it over my shoulder, and then walk into the docking bay, the first steps in my new life.

The Capitol is nothing like I imagined, nothing I ever _could _imagine in my limited life experience. The sight of the soaring skyline excites me as the transport draws closer to its destination. And yet, even though I've never been here before, I can't help but feel a strange sense of familiarity as the buildings come into view. I'm not sure how this can be, but I can't deny the feelings. I'm reminded of what Ben Kenobi said to me, about how I have abilities that most don't. Could there be truth to what he says?

A few other boys about my age soon arrive from another transport, and we stand together talking for a little while as we wait to be picked up. They seem friendly enough, and every bit as excited and nervous as I am. That makes me feel a little better. I'd hate to be the only one who's scared right now.

"So where're you from, Luke?" one of the boys asks me as we are finally on our way to the Academy campus.

"Tatooine," I tell him.

"Really? I didn't think anybody lived there," another boy pipes up, causing the others to laugh.

I smile. "Not many of us," I assure him.

"What do you do there?" another asks. "I mean, isn't it just sand dunes?"

"Pretty much," I reply him. "Some pretty nasty indigenous creatures too," I add, trying to impress them.

They don't seem impressed, however; and the conversation soon changes to more interesting topics.

The campus is everything I'd imagined it would be; huge and impressive. There are so many buildings I'm sure I'll get lost many times before I know my way around. We are all herded into a huge auditorium for opening assembly. There are kids from all over the galaxy, most of them humans I note. I've heard Uncle Owen complain about how racist the Empire is; it certainly seems that way to me now. Not only that, I've noticed that there are almost no girls here. That _really_ stinks.

We listen to a very long address by the commander of the academy. He makes sure he throws in plenty of threats to scare out any hint of rebellion from any of the new cadets. I can feel the fear of those around me, and I'm pretty sure the boy behind me peed in his pants.

After we leave the auditorium, we are fitted for uniforms, given a medical exam, and then get our hair cut really short. I hardly recognize myself without my shaggy hair, and I decide that it makes me look older than my barely sixteen years.

There's only time for one lecture before bed time, and it's one that I'm sure is meant to build a sense of community and loyalty to the Empire. I listen, but most of what I hear contradicts everything I've heard from my Uncle Owen: _the emperor is a true genius…he single-handedly destroyed the evil Jedi who were bent on destroying the galaxy…the clone wars were the beginning of the empire's glorious reign and the end of the cruel dictatorship of the Senate and the Jedi…_

I don't know if the kids around me believe what we're hearing or if they are as sceptical as I am. It's hard to believe in the righteousness of the Empire when you hear about all the poverty and oppression everywhere.

The room I'm assigned is pretty big, but I'm sharing it with three other boys. I've never shared a room with anyone, and it's a little weird at first. But once we start talking after lights out, I discover that it's actually pretty fun to have room mates. We do a lot of laughing as we compare stories about our families, and make fun of the various instructors we've had that day. We all share the hope that we'll be able to see the inside of a star destroyer soon. After the long day we've all had, it isn't too long before we all drift off to sleep.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep when the lights go on and I'm pulled from my bed by an upper class man wearing a balaclava over his face. I'm terrified for a moment until I realize that this is part of my initiation, and all my room mates are receiving the same treatment. Each of us is stripped to our underpants (and I'm very grateful for the new ones that Uncle Owen bought me) and thrown into a freezing cold shower. Aside from the cold, I'm horrified by the blatant waste of precious water; but I don't say so. I want to fit in, so I go along with the gag and scream like the other boys while the older ones laugh at us. This certainly what I was expecting when I came here.

Breakfast is bright and early at 0600 the next morning, and there are plenty of us yawning over our oatmeal. I see a bunch of older boys sitting together, and I get the impression that they're the ones who invaded our room the previous night. One keeps looking at me, and though I can't hear what he's saying, I'm sure he's talking about me. And from the way his friends are laughing, I don't think he's saying nice things about me.

By evening I'm pretty beat, what with the lack of sleep I'd had. The day has been a long one, listening to lectures, doing calisthenics and practicing stupid stuff like marching. It's hard not to laugh when we all look so dorky with our arms straight at our sides. The boots we have to wear are still pretty stiff, so marching is kind of hard and most of us who are new are still trying not to fall over when we do it. Luckily I'm not the only one who's new to this, or else I'd be very embarrassed.

It's dinner time, and the food is actually pretty good. I'm standing in line to put my dishes on the clean up cart when I over hear a conversation behind me that makes me stop and take notice.

"Skywalker was the biggest traitor of them all," someone is saying. "He was the coward that tried to kill the emperor after all."

I turn around and see that it's the kid who I've determined doesn't like me. Figures.

"Anakin Skywalker was _not _a coward," I say, surprising my friends with my boldness. "And he was _not _a traitor. He was a great hero."

The bully looks at me, shocked by the fact that I've spoken up.

"Are you talking to _me, _plebe?" he asks.

"I guess I am, yeah," I reply.

He frowns and takes a step closer to me while the boys nearby stand out of his way.

"And what would a charity case from a back water planet know about it?" he asks, poking a finger in the centre of my chest.

"I'm not a charity case," I say, doing my best to stand my ground.

"And what would a charity case know about the Clone Wars?" he asks, continuing to poke me.

I frown. "I said, I'm _not a charity case!"_ I say and push him back. I don't know how, but he goes flying back and smashes into the clean up cart. Dishes go crashing everywhere, and he falls into the mess. The boys nearby start cheering as his friends try to help him up. But the mess from the spilled food is slippery, and they fall on top of him. This only makes the other boys laugh harder. Soon, however, our fun is over as clones rush in and break things up. I'm soon identified as the one who caused all the trouble, and am hauled off to the brig. I'm given an healthy round of applause as I go, however, and that makes me feel better. The fact that I stood up for myself to that bully does too. Maybe he won't be so quick to pick on lower class men now. But most of all, I feel good that I defended my father's honour. That more than anything makes me feel totally justified and makes the isolation of the brig a little more bearable.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 5 Voice of Darth Vader

Inspections, I hate them. I especially hate inspecting cadets…they're always so terrified, so green. And yet my master insists that I do so. In an effort to weed out any Jedi from the galaxy, we can leave no stone unturned. Finding force sensitives early is essential to keeping them from becoming a problem. There have, however, only been a handful of force sensitives that I've found among recruits. But I must obey my master, no matter how I feel. The fact that I feel this is a complete waste of time is irrelevant.

Returning to Imperial Centre is always difficult for me, even sixteen year after the death of my sweet Padmé. The sight of the building where we lived together is still painful to me. I bought the entire building a few years back. Somehow the thought of someone living there was abhorrent to me.

"Welcome to the Academy, Lord Vader," Commander Hulag greets me as I leave the hangar bay. "It's so good to see you again, sir," he adds for good measure.

"Never mind the idiotic pleasantries," I grumble. "I'm here for inspection, and I'd like to get it over with as quickly as possible."

"Yes of course sir," he responds, perspiration standing out on his forehead. "Right this way."

I follow him into the main building and down a corridor. I can sense the fear of the cadets even before I reach the assembly hall. Part of me enjoys this; I usually end up making at least one cadet pass out from fear. Part of me hates being around children; it reminds me of what I've lost. My own child would be sixteen by now, and would have been brilliant, several cuts above the dullards that the Empire keeps recruiting.

There are about two hundred boys lined up in formation in the assembly hall. I can sense their fear increase as I enter the room, no doubt hearing me even before I do so.

"There's a lot of potential in this year's group, sir," the commander is telling me as I walk up and down the aisles, pretending to look at the boys. He goes on and on, but I tune him out, and focus on the children. I sense many emotions swirling around in the room: fear, terror even, apprehension, fascination….but nothing that would indicate that there are any force sensitives in the room.

"Stop babbling, idiot," I snap at the commander, tired of listening to him drone on.

The boys nearby smirk ever so slightly at their commander's embarrassment, and I give them a look. They stop at once, but I notice that one of them has bruises on his face. I approach, him, feeling his fear escalate as I do so.

"Why is this boy injured?" I ask.

"Oh, well there was an incident last night," the commander replies. "A bit of a tussle between …"

"A _tussle_?" I ask. "Look at this boy's face," I say. "He's been attacked. I want to know what happened."

The commander turns to the boy. "Well Jorgen? Perhaps you'd like to tell Lord Vader what happened."

The boy named Jorgen swallows hard, doing his best not to let his terror show. "Yes sir," he stammers. "Well, sir, Lord Vader sir," he begins, looking up at me. "I was attacked by another cadet."  
"Why?" I demand. "What instigated it?"  
"Nothing sir," he claims. I know he's lying, but let him continue. "I was just talking to my friends, waiting in line to place my dirty dishes in the cart when this new kid comes up and shoves me against the wall!"

I sigh and look back at the commander. "Is this new boy big for his age?" I ask. "I hardly believe a new recruit could push a boy this size against a wall."

"No sir, he's not," the commander assures me. "In fact, he's pretty small."

"Then how is that possible?" I ask, turning back to the boy.

"I can't explain it sir," Jorgen says. "It's like he barely touched me, but I was pushed harder than I ever have," he says.

I frown as an idea starts to form in my head.

"Where is the boy who attacked him?" I ask the commander.

"In the brig sir," Hulag reports. "Shall I bring him to you?"

"No," I reply. "I will go to him. Now."

"Very well sir," Hulag replies. "Come with me, please."

He leads me out of the assembly hall and down a flight of stairs. I focus on the immediate surroundings, searching out the Force sensitive being I suspect is responsible for the attack. I'm not prepared for what I find.

There is no doubt that the person we are nearing is Force sensitive; not only that, he or she is very strong with the Force. And yet, I sense their abilities are raw and untrained. But there's more…there's something troubling about the force signature that I am sensing. It's almost …familiar.

"He's in here, sir," Hulag tells me. He opens the door to a dimly lit room. I can barely make out the figure of a young boy sitting on a metal cot on the far side of the room. The boy stands up, his fear escalating as he sees me.

"Leave us," I order the commander, who does so at once.

I wait for the door to close behind me before I address the boy. "You attacked another cadet," I say, growing more unnerved by the boy with each minute.

"Yes sir, I did," he replied. I'm impressed by his courage. Most boys his age would have wet themselves by now.

"Why?" I ask.

"I was provoked," he tells me. "He said something ….hateful and cruel. Lies about someone important to me."

"Who?" I ask. "What did he say?"

The boy hesitates for a moment, and I grow impatient.

"Answer me!" I bark, loudly enough to make him jump.

"My father, sir," he replies. "He said my father was a coward and a traitor."

As much as I admire the boy's sense of loyalty, I cannot condone such softness in the ranks. He needs to know this immediately.

"Whether or not your father was a traitor or a coward is of no concern to me," I snap. "There is no place for personal feelings and sentimentality in the Imperial ranks, boy," I continue. "Is that clear?"

He looks away from me, and I can feel his anger.

"Yes sir," he mumbles.

"I didn't hear that cadet," I say sharply.

"Yes sir," he speaks up, looking at me.

I turn and leave him, deciding that there is more to this boy and this situation than I've been told.

"I want to see the security video on this incident," I tell Hulag when I meet him in the corridor.

"Of course sir," he says. "I'll have it brought up in the officers lounge at once."

Something about this situation has me unsettled, and I don't know why. A Force sensitive child is not unheard of, and I have never had any trouble dealing with them in the past. So why is this boy making me question myself and my judgement?

"Right this way, Lord Vader," Hulag tells me, directing me to a computer viewer in the lounge. The officers look at me with respect, bowing in my direction like the toadies they are. I ignore them, and simply watch as the security holo comes on the screen.

I watch as the cadets stand in queue waiting to deposit their dirty dishes on the clean up cart. Nothing of any consequence is happening and I turn to Hulag.

"This is it?" I ask.

"It's coming up sir," he assures me.

I turn back to the screen, impatient that my time is being wasted. And then I hear a name mentioned, a name I've not heard in more than a decade. _Skywalker…_

_Skywalker was the biggest traitor of them all…He was the coward that tried to kill the emperor after all. _

I'm numb as I listen to the rest, as I watch the young boy I just chastised force push the much larger boy against a wall, as I watch him defend his father's honour. His father. Anakin Skywalker.

Chapter 6

"Lord Vader? Lord Vader shall I run the holo again? My Lord?"

I realize that I've been staring at a blank screen for several seconds and turn to the commander. "What is the name of the boy who attacked Jorgen?" I ask.

"Luke Lars," he replies. "Why?"

I ignore him, and set out once more for the brig. I need to speak to this boy. What's more, I need to see his face.

Luke is eating his supper when I arrive and looks up at me in surprise.

"You, guard," I say to the clone standing outside. "Turn the lights up in here."

The clone adjusts the controls outside the room and I watch as Luke squints in the light for a moment. And then I see his face, truly for the first time. I feel a constriction in my throat as I look upon it, for I know without a doubt that it is the face of my son that I am looking at.

"Why did you lie about your name?" I ask him.

Luke looks at me with surprise, no doubt unsure of my motives. I don't blame him.

"I know you did," I tell him. "You are registered as Luke Lars," I continue. "And yet you claim Anakin Skywalker is your father."

"He _was _my father, sir," he replies. "He's dead now. He was murdered."  
I am shocked to hear him say this. "Who told you this?" I demand.

He looks at me, and I'm certain he can sense what I'm feeling. "Does it matter?" he asks. "I lied because I was told not to use his name," he tells me, casting his eyes down to his half eaten meal. "Not because I wanted to. His name is all I have left of him. I hated to lie."

I watch him, his emotions clear to me. If this boy is not my son, then the emperor has gone to a great deal of trouble to find someone who looks like me. It would not be above him to torture me this way, to test me; so I must be absolutely certain.

Without saying another word to Luke I leave him again, and head directly for the medical area.

"Get out," I tell the medic who is all set to grovel. He leaves without a word, and I set to work. I know my son's blood work must be on file by now, it's standard procedure to run extensive physicals on the new recruits when they arrive. Using a medical droid to assist me, I withdraw a sample of my own blood and have it run a DNA comparison to Luke's. It takes only a few moments for the computer to run the analysis; and when I see the results, I sit down in order to collect myself. Our DNA matches. Luke _is _my son.

"May I be of any further assistance?" the droid asks.

I look up at it, and then snap it in half with the Force. I cannot let anyone know, not even Luke, until I have a plan. _And that will be the real challenge, _ I decide.

Standing up, I remove all traces of the test from the computer and destroy the blood samples. I then leave the medical bay, my life having taken on a completely new and unexpected turn.

I return to my ship now. I need to be alone to think this through. The fact that my child is alive has me reeling, for it undermines everything I've believed for the past sixteen years.

First and foremost, the fact that I was lied to is impossible to ignore. I shall never forget that moment. Having just gone through the sheer hell of Mustafar and the reconstructive surgery after, I was anxious to learn of my wife's status. I was sickened by what I'd done to her, how the madness had made me turn on her the way I did. And then to learn that my actions, my assault has resulted in her death…._but she couldn't have died on Mustafar…she lived to give birth to Luke…I didn't kill her! _

The fact that my master lied to me isn't actually that surprising; I have learned over the past decade and a half that he is a cruel, sadistic man. No doubt he felt threatened by my relationship with Padmé; no doubt he'd have done anything to sabotage it had she lived. _Did she live?? Did she survive the birth of our son? Is she out there somewhere? _

Secondly, what do I do now? I daren't claim Luke openly; should Sidious learn of his existence, he would surely destroy him. And that I will not allow. But he's my son, my flesh and blood, the only part of Padmé I have left in the universe. I _must _have him in my life, no matter what. Deciding upon an immediate course of action, I contact Commander Hulag, who seems surprised to hear from me so soon.

"How can I be of service, Lord Vader?" he asks.

"I want Luke Lars released," I tell him, offering no explanation. "And his records transferred to me here. I'm …investigating his background."

"Of course my lord," he replies, knowing better than to question me. "Is there anything else?"

I consider for a moment before replying. "After reviewing this situation I've decided that boy Jorgen has earned some time in the brig," I tell him. "He was the instigator, not Lars."

I sense Hulag's immediate reaction of surprise, but he covers it up at once. "I will see to it at once, sir," he says. He hesitates for a moment before saying what's on his mind. "My Lord, I'm concerned that this might result in….further animosity between the two boys."

"Any animosity will be reported to me immediately," I tell him, angered by the thought of that bully harassing my boy. "I will deal with it personally, do you understand?"

"Perfectly sir," he replies.

"And convey that message to Jorgen on my behalf," I add. "I wouldn't want him to think he's getting away with anything."

"Excellent sir," he replies. "I shall see to it at once."

I end the communication, and wait for a moment for the file I've requested to arrive. It does in a matter of seconds, and I open it.

Tatooine…he's been living on Tatooine all his life, I note as I pore over the information. I suddenly realize where the name Lars came from: it was the name of my step father and his son, Owen. Has Luke been with the Lars family all this time? Is that where the Jedi hid him? How did he get there? Who brought him there? Knowing this makes me realize something else; Padmé must be dead, for I know she would never give up our son otherwise. This realization stirs up more anger in me as I reflect on all I've lost, all I've sacrificed. I was told that the Dark Side could save her; and that too was a lie.

After removing all mention of the incident from Luke's records, I head for the bridge to tell my subordinates that we will be remaining in the Coruscant System indefinitely.

"Lord Vader, there's a message coming through for you," Captain Ozzel tells me. "It's the emperor."

"I'll take it in my quarters," I tell him, and leave the bridge. I must not let the emperor know what I know – I must hide my emotions from him, the rage I feel over the lies I have discovered. I've learned how to shield my mind from him effectively over the years. I'm confident that I can do so now.

"What is thy bidding, my master?" I ask in greeting as I bow before the emperor.

"Your report on the new recruits, Lord Vader," he replies. "Anything of concern?"

"Perhaps," I tell him. "There is one individual I will need to investigate."

Sidious nods, a serious look on his ruined face. "Make sure you eliminate any problems," he says, as though I don't know my job.

"I will," I assure him.

"I am going for my annual health retreat," he tells me. I know what this means; several weeks of medical treatments he spends obscene amounts of money on, while I live in constant pain and isolation. "I will expect a full report when I return."

"I will have one ready for you, master," I inform him. "Enjoy your retreat."

"Thank you my friend," he replies in a patronizing tone that I despise. He closes the transmission and I am left alone. I stand slowly, the pain in my prosthetic knees jarring me as it always does. My fists clench as I think of the money he has spent on himself, while I am forced to live in this walking coffin he placed me in. I am certain that there are medical interventions out there to repair my damaged body; but I'm not permitted to pursue them. No doubt my master knows he would be no match for me should I be restored to full health. No doubt he is afraid of that possibility. He should be afraid.

My thoughts turn to my son again. I find myself thinking of him almost constantly now, and I'm unable to focus on my command, my work or anything else. Unable to stay away, I head to the hangar bay, deciding to return to the Academy. I must see my son again.

As I wander through the vast corridors of the Academy's main building, I try to search out Luke through the Force. I was amazed by the strength of his signature upon meeting him, and feel certain that I will be able to find him. The cadets who pass me by seem surprised and a little disturbed to see me back so soon. I'm sure they've all heard the rumours of 'disappearances' that have taken place over the past few years. No doubt they're wondering which of their comrades will be the next on my hit list.

I find myself at the mechanics lab, one of the few areas I take any interest in at all here. My son is there. I stand in the doorway and simply watch him, sensing how much he is enjoying himself. Clearly he has inherited a great deal from me, for he seems quite skilled at what he's doing. He looks up, perhaps hearing me, perhaps sensing me, I'm not sure which, and nods respectfully at me. I have to fight the impulse to go to him and tell him everything, to claim him as my child, to take him away from this place and hide him forever from those who would do him harm. But the time isn't right; I am still not certain of my course of action. For once, I must think with my head and not with my heart. And that has never been easy for me to do.

"Good morning Lord Vader," the instructor gushes, falling over himself as he comes over to greet me. "This is an unexpected honour! May I show you around?"  
"No," I reply. "I'm not here for a tour. I simply wanted to …observe the cadets."

A look of fear comes over his face. No doubt he is worried that something he has done will result in some form of reprimand.

"Of course , my lord!" he replies. "You're most welcome!" he turns to the cadets, claps his hands twice to get their attention, and then addresses them in a loud voice. "Cadets, we have a most distinguished guest to our lab this morning," he says, his voice nearly shaking with tension. "Please welcome Lord Vader to our midst." He then makes a rather obsequious bow to me, and then returns to his desk. I wait for the boys to return to their work, and then begin to walk around, observing what they are doing. I can sense their fear, many of them drop their tools with trembling hands as I pass. And while I'm certainly used to this, it bothers me now somehow. I don't' want my son to fear me; and yet, how can he not when he sees the way others cower before me?

"Good morning sir," my son says when I reach him. It was hard not to go to him directly, but I made a point of doing a turn around the room first.

"Luke," I say, looking with interest at his work. "What are you working on?" I ask.

"Uh, well I'm trying to rebalance the intake valves," he tells me, looking back at the machine on his table. "It's kind of tricky, but I like doing this sort of stuff," he adds, wiping his hands off on a rag.

So do I, I reflect. "You seem to be doing an adequate job," I comment.

My son shrugs somewhat self-consciously. "I guess," he says. He is silent for a moment, and then looks up at me. "Lord Vader, I want to thank you for the other day," he says.

"Thank me? For what?" I ask.

"For looking into what happened," he says. "For not assuming I was the only one who did something wrong," he adds. "I appreciate that you took the time to do that, and I wanted to thank you."

His words surprise me. But more than that, they move me. It has been many years since I have felt any emotion that wasn't laced with darkness, and I don't know how to respond to his heartfelt little speech. And I realize something as I watch him return to his work; as much as he's inherited his skills and his looks from me, it is his mother's heart that I sense within him. It is Padmé's purity, and goodness and genuine kindness that I sense in my son, and it makes my own heart wrench painfully with the memory of her.

"You're welcome," I finally say, and then turn and leave. My son is stirring up emotions in me I'm not quite ready to deal with, and I need time to sort them out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 7 _Voice of Darth Vader _

"_Something wonderful has happened Ani…I'm pregnant."_

I awaken at this point, the dream of my wife forcing me to a wakened state. I dream of her frequently; far too frequently for my liking. It is torture to see her face, and then to wake up in the hell that my life has been since her death. But now that my son is in my life, things are not quite so bleak. Being around Luke somehow makes the emptiness that I've felt every day since Padmé's death a little easier to bear. He's a reminder of her, of the goodness that she embodied. He is also a reminder of what I once was: young and innocent, before the Wars changed me, before I sold my soul to Sidious.

I leave my quarters and head for the bridge, anxious to do something to occupy myself. I know that my presence at the Academy would arouse too much suspicious from the spies I'm certain Sidious has there, and so I must be careful about my visits. And yet, I feel so drawn to my child that it is all I can do not to fly to the planet surface right now. But I cannot. As always, my feelings must be guarded, my actions carefully weighed. Nothing would please my master more than to know that the son of Anakin Skywalker lives. Nothing would please him more than to destroy him, as he destroyed the boy's father. I will not allow that to happen though: that is one thing I have decided. I don't know how yet, but I will claim Luke as my son. He will be a part of my life, and he will have the best of everything. He will want for nothing, and I will protect him from Sidious, even if it means killing the old bastard to do it.

I spend most of the morning wasting time, doing inspections, checking circuitry and reviewing performance reports of the inept command crew I've been assigned. There is but one man among them who has a brain in his skull. He's young still, but I predict Firmus Piett will go far in life. I can't say the same for the captain who is my second. There are days I have to hold myself back from killing Ozzel; one day I simply won't bother. His stupidity is almost as annoying as his arrogance. Yet he's quite adept at boot licking- no doubt the reason he's advanced as far as he has.

Night hours have fallen on the ship, and I'm exhausted. I dread the night now, I have for many years. Night means nightmares, for there are very few times when I am asleep that I don't have one. It is usually memories that haunt me; memories of the life I once had, the love I once shared, and the terrible moment when I threw it all away. I do my best to avoid sleep; my master has shown me how to use the Dark Side to survive without it. But I still do require it on occasion, I am still human after all. So when my body demands that I sleep, I succumb to it.

Removing my mask is the only thing I look forward to any more. Despite the fact that I know my face is a ruin, I feel at little more human when it is unfettered this way. Rubbing my eyes, I try to get comfortable in the pod. Sleep never comes to me easily, but I find myself drifting off rather quickly tonight. I'm nearly asleep when I am shaken by a strong tremor in the Force. It is terror I sense, and it takes me mere seconds to pinpoint its source. Luke. My son.

I activate the claw that lowers the mask and helmet to my head once more, and open the pod. Despite the regulators that supposedly make it impossible, I can feel my heart hammering hard as I hurry out of my quarters. By the time I reach the hangar bay I am running. My son needs me, of this I have no doubt.

The cadets are sleeping when I arrive at the Academy. Clones meet me in the hangar bay, ever present and vigilant.

"Should we wake the commander, sir?" one of them asks me.

"Yes," I say as I walk past them. "At once."

They leave me, knowing that I am there for a reason. I follow my son's now unmistakable Force signature, my fists closing angrily as I feel his fear and his pain. Blind rage consumes me as I descend lower into the complex, into the barracks, ignoring the handful of clones I encounter along the way. Barging into the suite of rooms where I know I will find my son, I stop in my tracks as I see what is going on.

The older boy that had antagonized him earlier is present, as well as several other boys of the same age. They surround Luke, and I know from the appearance of him as well as the pain radiating from him that they have been beating him.

"What is the meaning of this assault?" I demand loudly, making the boys jump and step aside. I see my son, and my rage skyrockets.

"Lord Vader! What brings you here at this hour…."

I turn to see Commander Hulag, his hair askew from sleep, who is staring aghast at the scene before him. I reach him in two easy strides and grab him roughly by the throat.

"You tell me, Commander," I snarl angrily. "Explain to me why this boy has been assaulted by five others?? Explain to me why this sort of fazing goes on unchecked in this institution?" I ask, squeezing his larynx, letting my rage flow through me. I can see the boys watching in abject terror as their commander dies horribly and painfully in my grasp. They are about to flee when clones enter the room.

"Arrest them all," I command, pointing to the bastards who have harmed my son. I turn back to him now and pick him up. Pushing past the clones who are rounding up the terrified, astonished boys and head directly for the infirmary, my unconscious son in my arms.

The medics who are on duty are shocked by my appearance in the infirmary, but are smart enough to hide it.

"What happened?" one of them asks as I lay Luke down on a diagnostic table.

"He was attacked," I tell them, moving out of the way. "He's been badly beaten."

"I'll say," one of them mutters under his breath as the droid performs a preliminary exam. I watch anxiously, torn between the anger I feel surging through me and the terror I feel at the sight of my son so still and damaged.

"Well?" I ask, unable to remain patient. "How is he? Will he be all right?"

"It seems he's suffered some bruises and scrapes," the droid reports. "But there are no broken bones or internal injuries. He should make a full recovery."

My relief would be visible to all if my face were not hidden. I lower my eyes to my son, the anger resurfacing as I survey the damage inflicted by the bullies who attacked him.

"I'll be back," I tell the medics as I leave the infirmary. I have some business to attend to.

My fists clench angrily as I make my way to the brig where the five boys are being detained. I have to remind myself that they are boys; and as much as I'd like to inflict pain upon them a thousand times worse than they have inflicted upon my son, I must restrain myself. _But you've harmed younglings before, haven't you? You've killed them in their cradles and beds. Why stop now? _ The tiny part of me that is still human tells me not to do this, that there are already too many deaths on my soul. _And now there's one more, _I note as clones carry the dead, broken body of Commander Hulag past me on their way to the morgue. Somehow now that I'm a father killing gives me pause for the first time in many years. Perhaps there's a part of me that is afraid that my son will hate the monster that I've become. I know I do.

I can feel the fear of the boys as I enter the brig. They are afraid of dying, that I am certain of. I walk into the cell where they are being held, and see them look up at me, doing their best to hide their terror.

"I'm certain I need not explain the reason you're here," I begin.

"No sir," they mumble.

"Your parents have been notified of your crime," I tell him. "And of the charges that you are facing."

The boys look at one another in surprise and shock, and my anger resurfaces.

"Yes, charges," I say, the anger clear in my voice. "You ganged up on a younger boy and assaulted him," I tell them bitterly. "You'll be so charged, not to mention expelled from this institution."

The boys are unable to stop their tears at this point, but I am unmoved by them. I turn to the eldest, the leader, the one who Luke has had trouble with in the past.

"Since you're eighteen, you'll be charged as an adult, Mr. Jorgen," I tell him. "If I were you I'd get used to the idea of mining spice," I add as I turn and leave them once again.

I return to the infirmary now, anxious to see how Luke is. To my relief he is awake when I arrive, and I sense his surprise when I enter the room.

"Hello Lord Vader," he says cautiously.

"Luke," I reply. "I'm told your injuries aren't serious," I tell him.

"I know," he replies. "The droids tell me they could have been if you hadn't stopped those guys," he adds.

I nod. "Perhaps," I reply. "I was at the right place at the right time it seems," I add.

Luke watches me, and I sense he's trying to see what's in my mind. "Thank you," he says. "You've helped me for a second time, sir," he continues. "I'm very grateful, if not…a little confused," he confesses.

I fold my arms over my chest and regard my son, my fascination for him growing by the minute. "What confuses you?" I ask him. "Fazing is strictly forbidden in this Academy," I remind him.

Luke nods. "I know sir," he replies. "I guess…it just seems to me that you've gone out of your way to help me, twice now. And I have to wonder why. I mean, I'm nobody important," he adds, looking away for a moment.

I step closer to the bed. "You _are _important, Luke," I assure him. "Far more important than you realize."

He looks up at me, his surprise evident in his eyes; eyes that are identical to my own. "How am I important, sir?" he asks. "I'm just a farm boy from a planet no one wants to live on," he tells me.

"You mean Tatooine," I reply.

"Yes sir," he answers. "If there's a bright center to the universe, Tatooine is about as far from it as possible," he adds.

I couldn't agree more.

"You were born there?" I ask.

"No, I don't think so sir," he tells me. "My mother died when I was born, my father before that," he explains. "I was brought there to live with relatives, my aunt and uncle."

_Beru and Owen, _I realize. "I see," I reply. I hesitate for a moment before continuing. I'm not sure Luke is strong enough to learn the truth just yet, and I don't want to jeopardize his health in his current state. Besides, he's been giving a pain killer and I can see that he's having trouble staying awake.

"Sleep now, Luke," I tell him. "We'll talk again later."

He nods as his eyelids flutter. I watch him drift off to sleep, a fierce sense of protectiveness overcoming me. A sense of purpose unlike any other fills me as I watch my child sleep, and it spells an end to the emptiness that has defined my existence for so long. Luke represents what was once good in me; he represents the love I shared with my beloved Padmé. He must be a part of my life; of that there is no question.

"Contact me when he awakens," I tell the droid in attendance, and then leave my son to his rest. I must arrangements for Luke now that I have decided to bring him on board my ship. I only hope that he accepts the truth once it is revealed to him. It won't be easy for the boy, but there is no other way. He's my son, and I've lived long enough without him. I won't live without him any longer.

Chapter 8 – Voice of Luke Skywalker

I'm hungry when I wake up, and the droid who's been looking after me tells me that's a good sign. But I'm often hungry, so I don't really think it means much at all. I feel achy as I sit up in the bed.

"You're awake," the nurse says as she comes in the room.

"Yeah," I say.

"Hungry?" she asks.

"Uh huh," I say with a yawn. I wince in pain as I do so, and she notices.

"I think what happened to you was just terrible, Luke," she tells me, coming over and standing beside my bed. "And I'm glad Lord Vader has punished those boys for what they did."

I nod. "I'm a little surprised he's been so …involved, actually," I admit to her, with a furtive glance to the door. "He's not at all what I expected."  
She smiles. "He's taken an interest in you, that's for certain," she tells me. "Consider yourself lucky. I'll get you some lunch. Looks like you have a visitor," she adds, nodding towards the door. I look over and see Quinn, one of the few friends I've managed to make in the short time I've been here. He comes over as the nurse leaves me.

"Hey Luke," he says. "You okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine," I tell him. "No big deal."

Quinn nods. "I heard about what happened," he says. "Heard Lord Vader's expelled them all."

"Yeah I know," I reply. "Fazing is against the rules, you know," I add.

Quinn nods. "Yeah, but I think there's more to it than just that," he says.

I frown. "What are you talking about?" I ask.

Quinn looks around to see if anyone is listening. "Well, you're not the first person that Vader has paid a lot of attention to," he tells me. I'm surprised and a little disappointed to hear this for some reason.

"So?" I ask, starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

"So the other kids who got his attention just sorta…disappeared," he continues. "Rumour is that they were Jedi, or something like that. And you know how the Empire deals with Jedi."

I nod, feeling a cold sensation starting in the pit of my stomach. "Well I'm no Jedi," I assure him, trying not to sound as afraid as I feel. "I'm just a kid."

Quinn shrugs. "I'm not sayin' you are, Luke," he tells me. "I'm just telling you what I know."

The nurse returns at this point with a tray of lunch for me, and shoos Quinn away before I have a chance to question him more.

"Here you go Luke," she says, handing me the tray. "This will make you feel better I'm sure."

"Thanks," I say, taking the tray. Suddenly I don't feel so hungry any more. I can sense her watching me as I pick at my lunch. I wish she'd just leave.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Yeah," I tell her. "Guess I'm not that hungry after all," I add, pushing the food around with my fork.

She frowns. "Well, you need to eat Luke," she tells me. "I don't think I need to tell you that," she adds, and then leaves me. "Good afternoon, Lord Vader," I hear her say as she leaves the room. I look up and see him appear in the doorway, and my fear increases. I return my attention to my lunch as he walks over to me. I have no idea what to expect from him; but I know that whatever it is, it won't be good.

"You're looking better, Luke," he says as he reaches my bedside.

I've been raised to be polite, so I look at him. "Thank you sir," I reply, the tone of my voice something less than pleased. He watches me, and I begin to grow uneasy. I start picking at my lunch again, as Lord Vader continues to watch me, neither of us speaking. If he's going to do something, I wish he'd just go ahead and do it and be done with it.

"What is bothering you?" he asks me finally.

I'm shocked that he knows I'm upset, and I look up at him again. "Nothing," I lie.

"Don't lie to me boy," he replies, the tone of his voice even more scary than usual. "I know something is."  
I sigh and look down again. "I guess I'm just ….scared, sir," I tell him, knowing it's pointless to lie. He can read me like a cheap holonovel.

"Scared? Of what?" he asks. He really doesn't know??

"Well," I begin, pushing my food around again. "I guess I'm just worried that there's a reason you're helping me," I tell him, choosing my words carefully.

"Such as?" he asks, folding his arms over his massive chest.

I shrug as I continue to fiddle about with my food. "I don't know," tell him.

"Well there is a reason," he tells me. "Would you like to hear what it is?"

I look up at him and nod.

" I want to offer you a unique opportunity," he tells me.

"An opportunity?" I ask.

Lord Vader nods "I want you to come and live with me on my ship," he tells me. "I want you to be my apprentice."

I'm sure my eyes must look like they're about to pop out of my head. "Me?? You want _me _to be your apprentice, Lord Vader?" I ask.

He simply nods.

"But…but why?" I ask in confusion. "Why me, sir?"

"Surely you've noticed that you have...unusual abilities, Luke," he tells me. "You're very strong with the Force, I felt it in you the moment we met."  
The Force? Is that it? Is that why I've always been so different?

"I don't know anything about the Force, sir," I tell him.

"I realize that," he tells me. "But that's why you need to leave here, you'll never learn anything about it in this place. I will train you. I will teach you what you need to know."

I don't say anything for a moment, for my surprise is too great. He wants to train me? Is that what he really wants? Or does he see my abilities as a threat? My father was a Jedi after all- and the Jedi are considered enemies of the Empire. Is this all a trick? A way for him to gain my trust so I'll go with him willingly? And then once we're there….

"Why do you doubt me?" he asks, and I look up at him quickly. He's read my mind, and that only makes me more scared.

"I've heard rumours," I tell him, feeling my face grow red.

"What rumours?" he demands in a tone of voice I dare not ignore.

"Of…kids who've disappeared. I guess I'm afraid that's what's going to happen to me," I tell him.

Lord Vader's silence at this point is more scary to me than what would probably be his angry response. I can feel his shock at my words, and it confuses me. Was Quinn wrong? Have all the rumours I've heard wrong? Surely not- surely Darth Vader _is _every bit as dangerous and ruthless as I've heard. The nurse told me what he did to Commander Hulag.

"Disappear?" he says finally. "You mean…you think I've killed them? Is that the rumours?" he asks. I can almost hear the smile behind his words, and it gives me shivers.

"Well…yeah," I admit. "Did you? Is that what you're going to do to me?" I ask. "Are you going to kill me because my father was a Jedi?"

Until this moment I haven't been able to sense any emotions coming from Lord Vader; and I'd begun to wonder if he was, in fact, a droid like a lot of people say he is. But I feel them now; so strong I'm shaken by them.

"No Luke," he says finally. "I have no intention of killing you," he tells me.

I feel my eyes stinging with tears and I look away. I'm confused and uncertain, and I don't know what to believe.

"Look at me," he says, his tone not quite so scary. I turn and look up at him.

"Luke, you have no idea of your importance to me," he says. He reaches his hand out, and, to my surprise, takes my chin in it. He's gentle though, more gentle than I would have thought possible. "You're more important to me than anyone or anything," he continues.

I can't prevent my tears and feel them stream down my face. "Why?" I ask simply.

He's silent for a moment, and I can sense that he's as emotional as I am right now. "You're my son, Luke," he tells me. "That's why."

His words could not have been more unexpected.

"But…how??" I cry, not caring if I anger him at this point. "How can I possibly be your son? My father died! My father was Anakin Skywalker!"

"I know," he replies. "Anakin Skywalker was my name once," he continues. "Before…before this happened," he says, indicating the mask he wears. "I've done a blood test, Luke," he tells me. "I'm your father, there's no doubt of it."

A thousand emotions race through me, overwhelming me completely. Part of me is overjoyed to learn that my father is alive; the father I've wanted my whole life, the father I've dreamed of my whole life. But part of me is devastated to learn that the hero I've come to think of as my father has turned into this dark, dangerous man. Is there anything left of Anakin Skywalker inside of him? He wants me in his life, does that mean he loves me? Is he capable of loving anyone any more?

"I know this must be …surprising," he says at last.

"Yeah, it sure is," I reply. I look up at him. "Still…I've always wanted to know my father," I tell him. "I've dreamed of him…of you so many times I can't count."

He nods in understanding. "Had I known you were alive all this time, we could have been together a long time ago," he tells me. "I was told you died with your mother before you were born."

"Who told you that??" I ask.

He is silent for a moment, and I can sense that he's angry just thinking about it. "It doesn't matter right now," he says finally. "What's important is that we've found one another," he continues. "We have a lot of time to make up for now."

I nod, starting to grow excited by the prospect of getting to know my father. Finally.

"So, are you ready to come with me then?" he asks.

I nod. "Yes," I tell him at once. "I'm ready."

"Good," he replies. "I'll have a clone gather your things. I'll be back shortly."

"Okay," I reply as he walks away. I want to call him Father, or Dad…but I'm still too shy of him to do so. Hopefully that will change quickly. I don't want to be afraid of my own father, but right now if I'm honest I have to admit that I am still. A little bit. There are so many things I want to ask him, so many questions I need answers to. I only hope that he'll be willing to answer them. All my life I've been lied to; I need the truth now, more than ever.

"Lord Vader tells me you're leaving," the nurse says as she renters the room.

"Yes," I tell her, getting out of the bed. "I'm going with him to his ship."

She nods, and I know she figures I'm a goner. If she only knew…

"Well, good luck to you Luke," she says, giving me a sympathetic smile. "I wish you all the best."

"Thanks," I say, picking up my clothes and heading for the fresher. My life is about to change in ways I cannot even imagine yet. I get dressed quickly, as the excitement of this sinks in, as the reality that I've found my father finally starts to hit me. There's only one thing that really bothers me, and I can't shake the uneasiness, even amidst the excitement I feel: why did everyone feel the need to lie to me? Why was I hidden from my father for so long? Once I feel more comfortable with him, I will ask him these questions. I only hope that, for once in my life, I will get a straight answer.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 9_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I awaken in darkness. Even with my eyes open, there is darkness. I know I'm not alone, for I hear others nearby. I turn, but I still can't see anything. A feeling of panic starts to creep into my heart. And then I hear a familiar voice.

"Padmé? It's Sola. You're going to be okay," she assures me, taking one of my hands in hers.

"Why can't I see? What's wrong with me?" I ask, her words not reassuring me. My sister says nothing in response for a moment, which only adds to my uneasiness.

"What's the last thing your remember, Padmé?" she asks me finally.

That's an easy question. "The birth of Leia," I tell her. "And then…I spoke to Obi-Wan for a few moments," I recall, frowning when I remember what I'd said to him. _There's still good in him, I know there is…_ "Where are they?" I ask my sister. "Where are my babies? Where's Anakin?"

Sola is silent again, and I begin to lose patience. "Tell me!!" I cry, squeezing her hand tightly.

"Padmé, I don't know everything," she tells me. "But I will tell you what I do know." I hear her sigh, as though what she needs to tell me is too terrible to consider. "After the babies were born, you suffered from heart failure," she tells me. "Apparently you had a heart condition you told no one about," she continues.

That's true, I reflect. I remember when I found out about it, how I debated whether or not to tell Ani about it. I never did, it seemed he had enough to worry about.

"Go on," I say.

"Well, the doctors must have contacted Mom and Dad," she continues. "Because they were the only ones who knew."

I frown, the confusion inside of me growing by the minute. "Knew what??" I cry. "What aren't you telling me?"

She sighs again. "I'm telling you what I know," she says again. "Which isn't much, I'm afraid," she adds. "Let me try and explain. Mom and Dad died in a speeder accident about fifteen years ago," she tells me. "And recently I was going through some of their personal affects, trying to find records Pooja needed for a school assignment. But while I was looking through their things, I found a report from a hospital in Theed, this hospital you're in right now."

I frown. "Why was I brought here? I was on Polis Massa when the twins were born."

"Apparently Mom and Dad decided to put you in stasis," Sola tells me. "Until such time a cure could be found for your condition."

I'm overwhelmed at this point, for there's simply too much to take in at once. And yet, there are still so many questions unanswered.

"You said they died fifteen years ago," I say finally. "That means…I've been in stasis for fifteen years?"

"More like sixteen," she tells me. "They're the only ones who knew you were here, Padmé," she adds. "They told no one, not even me. I don't know why, and I don't know any more than that. I don't know where the twins are, I don't know where Anakin is. All I know is when I found this information, I came here at once. The doctors treated your condition, and then woke you up. That was yesterday." She stops for a moment. "That's all I know," she says. "I'm sorry."

I'm too shocked to reply for a moment, and simply sit in numb silence. Sixteen years….sixteen years of my life. Gone. My children are teenagers now, and I've missed the first sixteen years of their lives. I missed their infancy, their childhood. And what's worse, I don't even know if they're alive or dead. My parents are gone. And Anakin? Where is he? The last I remember of him was his yellow eyes as he was choking me….

I drop my face into my hands as the sobs of despair finally break out of me. Sola wraps her arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. But there is no comfort for me; I've lost everything.

"Well, how are we feeling?"

I turn to the new voice in the room, assuming it's a doctor or nurse.

"She's a little upset right now, doctor," Sola tells him.

"So I see," he replies. "Well now, Padmé," he continues. "Your eyesight will return in time. It's simply a side effect of long term…"

"It's not my sight that concerns me, Doctor," I interject. "It's the …holes in my life. I don't know anything anymore, and it's a terrifying feeling."

"I'm sure it must be," he replies. "But there are ways to fill in the holes," he adds.

"How do I do that?" I ask.

"Well, who is the last person you remember seeing?" he asks.

I think about it for a moment. There were two I remember: Bail Organa and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Bail Organa, Obi-Wan Kenobi," I tell him.

"Senator Organa? Well you can find him on Alderaan," Sola says. "I wouldn't know where to find Obi-Wan Kenobi, though," she adds.

"Then might I suggest you begin on Alderaan," the doctor says.

I nod, starting to grow hopeful. "Yes," I reply. "Yes I'll do that," I add. "Sola, will you take me there?" I ask.

"Of course," Sola says. "We'll go as soon as the doctor says you're well enough to travel."

It isn't until the next day that I am able to convince the doctors to let me leave with my sister. My eyesight has returned, but I get the feeling that they are more concerned about my emotional state than anything. I suppose they have reason to; how many people sleep for sixteen years to find their whole world has been ripped apart?

On the trip to Alderaan, Sola fills me in on the state of the galaxy. It is a sobering, depression conversation. I've learned that Palpatine is still Galactic Emperor, and that he has spent the past sixteen years, along with his clones and a reprehensible cyborg henchman named Darth Vader, hunting down the Jedi, oppressing the citizens of the galaxy and destroying what is left of democracy in the Galaxy. Part of me wishes I'd remained asleep. But Luke and Leia are out there, and they need their mother. What's more, I need them.

"So is there no one who challenges Palpatine any more?" I ask Sola. "Is he just free now to run ram shod over the galaxy?"

Sola nods. "His clone army make it impossible for anyone to challenge, Padmé," she informs me. "Not to mention his right hand man," she adds with a frown.

"You mean Vader," I say. "Who is he? Where did he come from?"

"I don't know," she responds. "But he's a monster, I promise you," she adds.

I nod, the thought of him giving me chills.

We reach Alderaan, and I feel anxious about the conversation I must have with Bail Organa. He's always been a good friend to me, so I know he'll tell me the truth. I just hope I'm strong enough to hear it.

Alderaan is as beautiful as I remember, and that gives me some comfort. At least some things haven't changed. The sight of the majestic palace nestled in the mountains brings back memories of happier times.

"We've been cleared to land," our pilot tells us via comlink.

Sola gives me a reassuring smile. "Here we go," she says, taking my hand. "You ready?"  
I nod. "I'm ready," I tell her, taking a deep breath.

A security guard meets us on the landing platform, and, after checking us for weapons, leads us into the compound. Sola has told me on the way to Alderaan that Bail's wife, Breha, passed away several years earlier. I know his pain; the loss of Anakin is not one I'm sure I'll ever get over.

Bail's administrative assistant is waiting to greet us. She looks at me with surprise, clearly shocked to see my face.

"I'm afraid that Senator Organa was detained at a meeting," she tells us. "But you're welcome to wait for him. He won't be too much longer," she assures us.

I'm both disappointed and relieved that my meeting with Bail has been detained. We're shown into his office and take a seat in some very comfortable chairs. The office is large and well appointed, featuring many holos on the walls. Many are of the late Queen Breha, and in most of them she is with a young girl who I assume is their daughter.

"Oh, hello," a voice from the doorway is heard. I'm startled by it and turn to look over to see a young girl, the same girl from the holos. "I'm the senator's daughter," she says by way of introduction as she walks over to us. I can't help but stare at the girl, for there is something very familiar about her. She must feel it too, for she is returning my stare.

"I'm sorry, but …have we met?" she asks me, both of us completely ignoring Sola for the moment.

"I don't believe so," I say. "I'm Padmé Amidala," I tell her, holding out a hand to her. "An old friend of your father's."

She shakes my hand, her eyes holding mine as we regard one another.

"I'm Sola Naberrie," Sola says, stepping in at last. "You look familiar to me too," she says.

"Really?" the girl replies with a smile. "I wonder why that is," she says. "Perhaps you knew my parents," she continues. "I'm told I look very much like my mother."

"Of course," I reply, getting a little confused. "I've known your parents for years. I was very sorry to hear about the passing of your mother."

"Thank you," the girl replies. "But I meant my real parents, my biological parents," she continues. "I was adopted when I was an infant."

My heart starts to hammer inside of me as I hear this, as I begin to realize who this young girl might be.

"May I ask your name?" I say finally.

"Leia," she replies readily. "My mother named me before she died. My father died shortly before that," she added.

My face must show my emotions at this moment, for I feel Sola take my hand.

"Padmé, are you all right?" she asks with concern.

"Yes," I manage to say, as Leia watches me with renewed interest. "I'm fine," I lie. "I…I guess I'm just tired from the trip," I stammer as I try to master my feelings. But how can I? I've just learned that Anakin, my Ani, is gone. Obi-Wan Kenobi killed him on Mustafar. And although the last memories I have of him are of him trying to kill me, I cannot help but be devastated by news of his death. I know Leia is confused by my reaction, and moves over to sit beside me.

"Are you okay?" she asks, looking at me with concern. "Can I get you something?"

I look at her, this beautiful child I know in my heart is my own. I'm about to reply when Bail walks in the door. The look on his face as he sees me sitting beside Leia tells me immediately that I'm right: Leia _is _my daughter.

"Padmé," he says, coming over to me at once. "Is it really you??"

I nod and stand up to accept his embrace. "Yes, it's me," I assure him. Leia watches us, and I know she's starting to suspect something.

"Leia, please go and have Francis bring us some tea," Bail tells Leia. No doubt he can tell that she's starting to grow curious about who I am.

"Yes Father," she replies dutifully and leaves us. I watch her go and then turn to Bail.

"She's my daughter, isn't she?" I ask.

Bail sits down beside me with a sigh. "Yes, yes she is," he tells me.

I nod, and my eyes fall to my hands clasped in my lap. I have so many questions I don't know where to begin.

"Please tell me what happened on the day they were born," I implore him finally. "And tell me where I can find my son."

Bail nods and takes a moment to gather his thoughts. "You had a very difficult time when the twins were born," he begins. "As you probably remember."

"I do," I reply, the memories of their birth still very clear in my mind. "I know I suffered heart failure shortly afterwards," I tell him.

"You did," he confirms. "And the doctors weren't sure what to do about it. They were quite certain you wouldn't make it, and so we, Obi-Wan, Yoda and I, needed to make provisions for the children. We knew that they needed to be separated, in order to keep them safe. They needed to be hidden, Padmé; you understand this don't you?"  
"Yes," I reply, remembering all too well what Palpatine had done to Anakin. "The emperor," I said simply, the very word leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Yes," he replies. "Obi-Wan contacted your parents, thinking they needed to be aware of your dire situation, and it was they who decided to put you in stasis," he continues. "Upon consultation with the doctors, they had good reason to think that a treatment for your condition was close, and they wanted to give you that chance. They understood the need to keep Luke and Leia anonymous, and so they agreed to allow us to take them, thinking that in a short time you'd be able to take custody of them yourself. But…it wasn't to be," he says with a shake of his head. "I thought you'd died, since I'd heard nothing from you all this time. Breha and I adopted Leia when she was almost a year old, thinking you were gone. What happened, Padmé? Where have you been all this time?"

I proceed to tell Bail all that I know, all that Sola has told me about the last sixteen years. I can tell that he is shocked by what I tell him, and I can't help but wonder how he will react to this. He listens without comment to my narrative, not speaking until the end.

"So you're well now?" he asks, clearly concerned about my heart condition.

"Yes," I assure him. "The doctors treated me once they'd removed me from stasis. I'm fine."

"Good," he replies. He runs a hand over his beard thoughtfully, which I note has quite a bit of grey in it now. "I know you must feel terribly…cheated," he continues. "I know I would in your position."

I've tried not to think about it, tried not to dwell on what I've lost; but it's hard not to when I see my now teenage daughter, a daughter I only remember as a tiny infant. But I know that if I dwell on what I've lost, I'll go mad. I have to push forward, and make a new life for myself.

"Tell me about Luke," I say, changing the subject before I lose control of my tightly held emotions. "Where is he? Who has been raising him all this time?"

"Obi-Wan took Luke to Tatooine," he tells me. "Yoda suggested he do so, since Anakin had relatives there."

I think about this for moment, and then remember who he must have been referring to. "The Lars family," I remember. "Anakin's step brother and his wife."

"What are you going to do, Padmé?" he asks me. "I mean…should I be preparing Leia? Or do you want to be the one to tell her?"

I don't know…I don't know anything right now. My emotions are so jumbled and chaotic I don't know what to do or where to go. I feel torn between my two children, wanting to be with each of them with equal desperation. And yet they have been raised apart, they have never met except on the day of their birth. How can I possibly reconcile all this?

"I'm going to Tatooine, first of all," I tell him finally. "I need to see my son," I add. "Beyond that…I honestly don't know, Bail."

He nods, no doubt unsurprised by my indecision. "Just know that I will support you no matter what you decide," he tells me. "I love Leia like my own child, but I know she's yours," he continues. "It will be hard, but if you decide you want her to know the truth, then I won't stand in your way. It's the least I can do considering all you've been through."

I smile at him, remembering fondly just how good a friend he has always been. "Thank you Bail," I say, putting my hand on his. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

Leia returns to the room at this point carrying a tray of tea for us all, so the subject drops. And yet, I cannot help but think that my daughter knows what's going on; she's the daughter of the Chosen One after all. I'm certain she has inherited a great deal of Anakin's abilities, latent though they may be at this point.

"I've told our cook to set two extra places," Leia tells me as she sets the tray down on a nearby table. "I hope you'll both stay for dinner," she adds, looking at me hopefully.

"We'd be delighted," I reply, unable to keep from smiling at her. Although I've only known her for such a short time, I cannot help but me immensely proud of my daughter. She's so mature, so poised…and almost an adult now, I reflect. I've missed so much.

"You ought to spend the night as well," Bail speaks up, interrupting my musings. "Tatooine is a long trip, after all. You don't plan on starting off tonight I hope."

"No," I reply. "Tomorrow morning will be just fine."  
"If you can wait Padmé, I can come with you," Sola says. "I have a commitment tomorrow that I can't miss, but after tomorrow…"

"You don't have to come with me, Sola," I assure her. "Really- you've done so much already. I can do this on my own."

"Nonsense," Bail speaks up. "The galaxy isn't a safe place any more, Padmé," he informs me. "I'll send one of my men with you. I won't take no for an answer."

To be honest, I'm pleased he's made the offer. "Thank you Bail," I tell him. "I'm very grateful for your help."

Sola does not stay long once dinner is over, for she is anxious to return to Naboo. As we say our goodbyes, we plan to meet up back home in three days time. She knows how anxious I am to find my son, and does not try to persuade me to wait for her.

"I'll let you know how it goes," I tell her as we embrace.

"Yes please do," she replies. "I'm sure it will go well," she assures me. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're finally finding the twins," she says. "This is going to mean a whole new life for you and for them."

I nod, my own emotions filling me again. "Thanks to you, Sola," I tell her through me tears. "Thank you, thank you for everything!"

By nightfall I'm exhausted. The past few days have been so emotionally charged that I find myself drained. One of Bail's servants has shown me to a beautiful suite where I'm to spend the night. The bed is large and inviting, and as soon as I'm alone I change into the nightgown that the servant has laid out for me. The ensuite is fully stocked, I discover happily. I even find extra clothing at my disposal. I remember what a gracious host the late Queen Breha had been. No doubt Bail has gone to great lengths to ensure her legacy continues.

As I'm about to climb into bed, there is a light tap on my door.

"Come in," I call as I sit on the edge of the bed. The door opens and my daughter enters the room.

"Hello," she says a little tentatively. "I hope I'm not disturbing you."

I shake my head. "No, of course not," I reply. "Please come in."

She does so, an inscrutable expression on her face as she looks at me. "Do you need anything?" she ask me as she sits down in one of the upholstered chairs in the room.

"No, thank you," I tell her. "I was amazed by the provisions I found," I add with a smile.

Leia smiles back at me. "My mother always made sure every guest room had everything a guest could need," she tells me.

"I remember her being an excellent hostess," I say.

"You knew her then? My mother?" she asks, watching me closely.

"Yes," I reply. "I knew your mother quite well."

Leia nods, the thoughtful expression returning to her face.

"And my real mother?" she continues. "Did you know her as well?"

I'm unable to hide my surprise from her, and I avert my eyes for a moment. What do I tell her now?

"Are _you _my mother, Padmé?" she asks me, no doubt sensing my indecision.

I look back at her, and see in her eyes, which are so much like my own, her desperate need to know the truth. "Yes Leia," I say finally. "I am."

Many emotions flit over her face, reflected in her eyes: joy, surprise, relief even.

"How did you guess?" I ask her.

"I don't know," she replies. "I just….knew," she adds.

"Do you understand why I haven't been in your life all this time?" I ask her.

"My father explained what happened to you," she answers. "You've been through so much," she adds, the control she's had on her emotions until now starting to slip. Mine is gone completely by this point, and I can only nod in response as my tears begin and slid down my face.

Wordlessly Leia stands and comes to me, and for the first time I embrace my daughter. We're both crying by this point, neither of us trying to hold back our feelings.

"I want to come with you to find my brother," she tells me as we finally part. She is sitting beside me on the bed, holding me hand in hers.

"No, Bail would never approve," I tell her.

"But I want to meet him," she protests.

"You will," I assure her. "In time, Leia. I promise you."

She nods, disappointed but resigned. "What is his name?" she asks.

"I named him Luke when he was born," I tell her. "His guardians may have changed his name, though. I won't know until I find him I suppose."

Leia nods. "Did you name me?" she asks. "Or did my adoptive parents name me?"

"I named you, Leia," I tell her. "Though your father chose the name before you were born," I add. "He was so sure I was carrying a girl," I recall with a smile.

"He did?" she asks, her eyes wide.

I nod. "He used to talk to you," I tell her. "He was so excited about becoming a father."

She is silent for a moment, and it is a struggle for me at this point to keep my feelings in check.

"I'm sorry," she says finally, giving my hand a squeeze. "I know how much you miss him."

I nod, unable to speak at this point. Leia must sense this, for she simply puts her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I don't know how, but somehow I must have this beautiful young woman in my life. She's my child, and I need her; and what's more, I know she needs me as well. Somehow it will work out, I know it will.

Leia and I spend the next several hours talking, each of us wanting to know everything about the other. Before I know it, we both fall asleep, lying side by side on the bed.

I wake up first the next morning and simply watch Leia sleep for a few minutes. I reflect now as I watch my child sleep, reflect on how I missed rocking her to sleep as an infant, tucking her in as a little girl, and comforting her when bad dreams troubled her. I've missed so much, so many times that can never be replayed, never repeated. Luke and Leia are almost adults now. Bitterness fills me as I force myself out of bed. There is nothing to be gained by reflecting on the past, and yet it's impossible for me not to feel the loss of so much time with my children.

Leia is awake when I return after my shower. She gives me a smile as I enter the room.

"I didn't realize how late it was," she says as she sits up in the bed. "I can't believe I fell asleep in my clothes!"

I smile. "We were up pretty late last night," I remind her.

She nods as she watches me brush through my hair. "I'm going with you today," she says finally. "I want to meet Luke as much as you do."

I look at her in the reflection in the mirror. "I know you do," I reply. "But I don't think it's a good idea, Leia."

She frowns, reminding me so much of Anakin as she does. "Why not?" she asks.

I sigh, and turn around to face her. "Well, first of all, your father doesn't even know yet that you've guessed who I am," I tell her. "He needs to be told."

Leia nodded. "You're right," she says resignedly. "But then…can we at least ask him?"

"We can ask," I tell her. "But I don't think it's a good idea for you to go, and I'm sure your father won't think so either."

"I'm sixteen," she points out. "That's practically an adult."

I can't help but smile at her stubbornness. She reminds me more and more of Anakin.

"Didn't you tell me last night that you were a _queen_ when you were my age?"

"Yes," I simply reply.

"And that you fought the Trade Federation when you were _fourteen_?" she continues.

"True."  
"So a trip to Tatooine is _nothing _compared to what you've done!" she declares.

I can't help but laugh, which I'm sure she doesn't appreciate.

"Okay Leia," I say finally, standing up. "We'll talk to your father, okay?" I suggest.

Leia smiles triumphantly.

I am uneasy with the thought her coming with me, but I know Bail well enough to know there's no way he will allow her to do so.

Having decided it would be best if I told him alone, I seek out Bail before breakfast to tell him what had transpired the previous night. I find him in his office. He smiles at me as I enter the room.

"Good morning," he says. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well, thank you," I reply. "I wanted to talk to you about something, Bail."

He nods, and invites me to have a seat. "I have a feeling I know that this is about," he says as I sit down.

"You do?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies. "Leia, and your parental rights to her."

Actually I haven't even thought that far yet, but it doesn't surprise me that he is thinking about that. "No, it's not that," I tell him. "It's about what happened last night."  
He frowns. "What happened?" he asks.

"Leia …guessed who I am," I tell him. His eyes widen in surprise.

"She _guessed_?" he asks. "What does that mean?"  
"It means we were talking about Breha," I tell him. "And how she had been such a remarkable hostess," I continues. "And she asked me how well I'd know her, and I told her quite well."  
"Yes, and?" he asks.

"And then she asked if I knew her real mother," I tell him. "I think the look on my face at this point must have given me away, Bail. I was totally unprepared for that."

Bail nods. "And you told her the truth," he says.

"Well not yet," I tell him. "I said nothing in fact, so she asked me, point blank, if I was her mother. At that point I couldn't lie to her, even if I wanted to. She knows, Bail."

He sighs. "This doesn't really surprise me, actually," he replies. "Leia has always had…unusual abilities: able to predict things, to see things happen before they happen."  
"She's her father's child," I point out. Bail frowns, no doubt not liking the reminder that he is in fact _not _Leia's actual father.

"So what now?" he asks. "What do you plan to do, Padmé/"

"I can't even think about the future until I find Luke," I tell him. "After I do, then I can think about it."  
Bail nods in understanding. "Of course," he replies. "Well, let's see if breakfast is ready," he says, standing up. "I know you must be anxious to get underway."

"Yes I am," I reply, deciding to let Leia ask him about the trip.

Leia looks up expectantly as we enter the dining room. She looks at me, and then at Bail, and then sits down at the table.

"Leia, Padmé has told me that you know the truth," he tells her. "That you know she is your biological mother."

Leia nods, and then looks at me. "I don't know how I knew," she says. "I just…knew."  
Bail sits down. "I hope you understand that I didn't realize she was alive all this time," he says, directing his comment to her but to me as well I think.

"Yes, I know," Leia replies. "You and mother took me in thinking I was an orphan," she continues. "And I'm very grateful for that. I'm just happy that I've been able to meet my real mother," she adds, smiling at me. "And I hope you'll come and stay with us, so we can really get to know one another."

I smile. "Nothing would make me happier, Leia," I tell her. "But first I must find Luke," I add. "Until I do, I can't make any plans."  
She nods. "And I want to help you find him," she replies, and then looks at Bail. "I want to go with Mother to help find my brother. may I go with her?"

Bail's brows lower, and he gives me a rather unappreciative look. "No, you may not," he replies at once, picking up his fork to start eating.

"But.." Leia begins.

"I said no," he tells her. "That's final."

Leia's eyebrows lower considerably, but Bail doesn't even take notice. No doubt he's been on the receiving end of her shrewish temper before.

"You'll meet Luke soon enough," I assure her. "I'll bring him here, how's that?"

"I guess," Leia mopes, pushing her eggs around on her plate.

"It will have to suffice, Leia," Bail says. "There's no way you're going to Tatooine with your mother. Understand?"  
Leia nods. Perhaps it's my imagination, but I'm sure I see the mischievous look in her eyes that I saw her in father's eyes all too often. Somehow I get the feeling that this issue is far from over.

Captain Antilles is to accompany me to Tatooine, and shortly after breakfast Leia and Bail walk me down to the landing bay where the ship awaits us.

"I will let you know as soon as I find him," I assure Leia, who seems to have perked up considerably since breakfast.

"I can't wait to meet him," she says with a smile.

"No, neither can I," I reply. I give her a quick hug, say my goodbyes to Bail and then board the ship where Antilles is waiting. It isn't long before I'm leaving the mountains of Alderaan behind, and starting off on a new adventure, one that I hope will end as happily as my sojourn to Alderaan has.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 10

We're just underway, having made the jump into hyperspace when I am reunited with a familiar …face.

"Artoo!" I exclaim as the little droid rolls into the passenger lounge. "It's so good to see you!"

Artoo whistles an excited response, and I'm pleased that he remembers me.

"_There _you are you overweight rust bucket!"

I can't help but smile as Threepio enters the room, doing his usual thorough job of harassing the little droid. He stops when he sees me, and seems almost embarrassed.

"Oh, hello there," he says to me, all business all of a sudden. "I am See Threepio, human-cyborg relations. How may I serve you?"

I frown as I realize that Threepio has no memory of me. No doubt his memory has been wiped, and it saddens me to think so.

"It's nice to see you again, Threepio," I tell him. "We used to know one another, a long time ago."

He looks at me rather sceptically, and then turns to his short counterpart as Artoo emits a series of beeps and whistles that I'm sure mean he's verifying what I've said.

"Well, milady," Threepio begins in that sorrowful tone I know so well, "my memory has been wiped more times than I care to consider," he sighs. "I'm afraid I have no memory of you."

"It's okay," I tell him. "Perhaps we can build some new memories," I suggest.

He clearly doesn't know what to say in response, but is prevented from saying anything by Artoo's excited whistles.

"What do you mean, she's here?" he asks in an exasperated tone. "Who's here??"

Artoo answers, and Threepio clearly doesn't believe him.

"What is he talking about?" I ask.

"Forgive him, Milady," Threepio says. "But I'm afraid this little Artoo unit tends to be a little eccentric," he claims. Artoo continues to whistle, and I turn to him.

"What is it, Artoo?" I ask.

Threepio listens for a moment and then turns to me. "He seems to be under the impression that the Princess is on board," he tells me.

I frown. "Princess?? You mean Leia?" I ask.

"Yes Milady," Threepio replies. "I told you he's eccentric," he adds, giving Artoo what I'm sure is a withering look.

But I know better; I know Artoo's sensors are never wrong, for they were customized by an expert in the field of cyber mechanics – my Ani.

"Where is she?" I ask the little droid.

Artoo, pleased that I believe him, hurries away at once. I follow him.

"Looks like we have a stowaway," I tell Captain Antilles as he meets me en route.

"A stowaway??" he asks, not understanding.

I nod and point to the storage compartment that Artoo has stopped in front of. Antilles shakes his head, seeming to know who is inside. He opens the hatch and there is Leia, crouched inside.

"Leia!" I exclaim. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I wanted to come with you," she replies, climbing out of the cramped compartment. "And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

Antilles has no clue what's going on, and looks at me for an explanation.

"Long story," I tell him with a sigh. "Come with me," I tell her. She smiles, reminding me of her father once again, and follows me into the passenger lounge.

"You realize of course that your father will be worried sick about you," I tell Leia as we sit down.

"I know," she replies with a sigh. "I guess I should let him know where I am."

"I think that's a great idea," I tell her. "There's a com right over there," I add, pointing to the far wall.

Leia looks over and then looks back at me. "Will _you _do it?" she asks. "Please? I know that he'll make me just come home if I contact him."

"And what makes you think I won't instruct the pilot to turn the ship around and take you home?" I ask her.

She looks at me for a moment. "You won't," she decides. "You want me to come with you."

I smile, and stand up. "You're good," I tell her as I head for the com. Leia only smiles in response.

I reach Bail quickly, no doubt he's been waiting for news of Leia.

"Hello Bail," I tell him. "Leia's with me."

"Thank the Maker," he sighs with relief. "How did that happen? What is she doing with you?"

"She hid on the ship," I tell him. "Artoo found her just a few minutes ago after we'd already jumped to hyperspace."

Bail shakes his head. "That girl is so headstrong," he mutters. "I expressly forbade her from going."  
"She's a teenager," I remind him. "Teenagers do tend to be rather headstrong."

"You never behaved like that," he reminds me. "You were always responsible when you were her age."

"I was a queen," I remind him. "I had no choice. Besides, Anakin was certainly stubborn."

"Yes, yes he was," Bail agrees. The mention of his name leaves an awkward silence between us, and neither of us says anything for a moment.

"I'll bring Leia back as soon as possible," I tell him finally.

He shakes his head. "Leia is your child, Padmé," he says. "I have no expectations where she is concerned now that you're in the picture."

"That's very gracious of you," I tell him.

"Not at all," he replies. "There's only one thing I'd like to ask of you, Padmé," he adds.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Consider my offer of moving in here," he says. "I know it would mean the world to Leia."

I smile, getting the impression that there's more to his offer than simply my daughter's wellbeing.

"Very well," I tell him. "I will think about it."

"Good," he replies. "I'll see you soon, then."

I return to Leia, and she looks up at me expectantly.

"It's all taken care of," I inform her as I sit down.

"Thank you," she replies. "How did he take it? Or do I even need to ask?"

"Well, he was upset of course," I tell her.

"I'm sure," she replies.

"Apparently he thinks you're quite …stubborn," I add.

Leia shrugs. "I guess I am," she replies. "Sometimes anyway."  
I smile. "Well, you come by it honestly," I tell her. "Your father certainly was stubborn."

"Was he?" she asks.

I nod.

She digests this for a moment. "Will you tell me about him?" she asks finally. "Please?"

I hesitate for a moment; the thought of talking about Anakin still makes me uneasy. I'm still in shock over his death, even though he's been dead sixteen years. And yet, Leia needs to know. The truth about her parentage has been kept from her all of her life. The least I can do is tell her about the man who fathered her.

"I met your father when I was fourteen," I begin. "He was nine, and a slave living on Tatooine."

"Father was a slave??" she asks in astonishment.

"Yes," I reply. "Both he and his mother. He was a generous, sweet boy," I add wistfully.

I go on to describe the circumstances that brought us together, and how we spent the ensuing ten years apart. Recalling those memories awakens emotions in me that I'm barely able to contain; and yet I push on, knowing that Leia is anxious to learn all she can about her father.

"So you got married in secret?" she asks at one point. "That's so romantic!"

"I suppose so," I reply. "But it wasn't easy. We couldn't tell anyone, we had to live apart because of the wars; it was very difficult on both of us. But when we were together…those times made it all worthwhile."

Leia smiles. "You two really loved each other," she states.

I nod. "Yes, very much," I reply quietly.

No doubt my daughter can sense my barely suppressed emotions at this point, and asks me no more questions. Our conversation ends at this point anyway, as Captain Antilles lets us know via comlink that we've dropped out of light speed and are on approach to Tatooine. I feel my excitement building as we grow closer. Soon I'll be with both my children, at long last.

Seeing Tatooine again brings back so many memories. This is where I met Anakin, and I cannot help but think of him as the image of the planet grows larger in our view screen.

"I can't wait to meet Luke," Leia says, shaking me from my musings. "I wonder what he looks like."  
I don't even know, I reflect bitterly. I haven't seen him since he was moments old.

"We'll find out soon enough," I tell her. "I just hope the Lars family are still living in the same place they were the last time I was here."  
"I hope so too," Lea replies. "They're my father's family? The Lars?"

"Your grandmother married Cliegg Lars," I explain. "Owen and Beru, the people we're hoping to find, are his son and daughter-in-law," I explain. "So Owen would be your father's step-brother."

Leia nods in understanding. I haven't told her about the unusual circumstances of her father's birth, nor of the brutal manner in which her grandmother died. And Mustafar…how do I tell her about what happened there? I suppose in time I'll have to, but for now I don't want to overwhelm her.

Using the coordinates I have provided, Antilles lands on the Lars property. It is hotter than I remember, and I'm reminded once again of the last time I'd been here, on that terrible day when Shmi died. And then a thought occurs to me. It has to be close; I know it is.

"What are you looking for?" Leia asks me as I wander off.

"I know it's here," I tell her, looking around at the seemingly endless sand, hoping to find Shmi's grave marker. "It has to be."  
"Stop right there," a voice from behind us says. "And turn around slowly."

Alarmed, we turn around and come face to face with the end of a blaster rifle. At the other end is Owen Lars.

"Owen, it's me," I tell him. "It's Padmé."  
He frowns. "Nice try," he grunts. "She's dead. Been dead for years."

I shake my head. "No, I've been in stasis," I tell him. "Please, let me explain what happened. This is Leia," I say, indicating my daughter. "We've come to see Luke."  
Owen looks briefly at Leia, and then lowers his rifle. "Come with me," he says.

Leia and I exchange a look and then follow him towards the homestead.

Chapter 11

A flood of memories assault me as we follow Owen down the well worn stone steps into the homestead. Memories of Anakin, of Shmi…I push them aside and focus on the reason for this visit: my son.

"So where have you been all this time?" Owen asked as we enter the small home. "Kenobi told me you'd died, and that Luke was an orphan."

"It's a long story," I tell him, looking around for my son. "And I will explain it all to you. But please, I need to see Luke. Please let me see him first."

"Padmé? Is that you??" Beru asks as she meets us.

"Yes it's me," I assure her. "And this is my daughter, Leia," I add, turning to Leia. "We're very anxious to meet Luke."

Owen and Beru exchange a look and then look back at me. I begin to grow alarmed.

"Bail Organa told me that Obi-Wan brought Luke to you," I tell them. "So where is he??"

"He's not here," Beru tells me at last. "He's at the Academy, Padmé."

"You mean he's on Imperial Centre?" Leia asks, clearly as disappointed as I am.

"That's right," Owen says. "He got a scholarship to go there. He's been gone for weeks now."

Part of me is immensely proud of my son that he's managed to distinguish himself this way; but the larger part is disappointed that I have to wait still longer to see him.

"Oh," I say at last, crestfallen.

Beru sees how disappointed we are, and takes my hands in hers. "I have some holos of him, if you'd like to see them," she offers. "Not a lot, but at least it's something until you see him for real."

"Yes, I'd like that very much," I tell her at once. "Thank you, Beru," I add, giving her hands a grateful squeeze. She smiles at me, and leads us into the small kitchen.

Leia and I spend the next hour talking with Beru and poring over the small album of holos she has of Luke. I look at each one eagerly, voraciously, taking in every detail of my son's face. He looks very much like Anakin; the same blond hair and blue eyes.

"I'm afraid there are no recent holos of him," Beru tells us apologetically. "He hasn't wanted his holo taken for the past couple of years. You know how self conscious teenagers can be," she adds with a smile.

"Yes, I know," I agree, disappointed that the holographic records of my son's life aren't complete. But soon I will see him, and holos won't be necessary. I look at Leia, seeing that she is as disappointed as I am that Luke isn't here. And as much as I'd love to stay and ask Beru questions about Luke's childhood, I am more anxious than ever to find him.

"You're sure you won't spend the night?" Beru asks as she and Owen walk us to the ship. "It's nearly dark after all."

"No, thank you," I reply. "I'm very anxious to find Luke," I tell them. "And so is Leia," I add, giving her a smile.

"Very well," she replies, and then gives me a hug. "I'm so happy you're alive," she tells me. "Luke will be so happy."

I smile, tears filling my eyes. "Thank you for looking after him all this time," I tell her. "You've been a wonderful mother, Beru."

"He's a special young man," Owen tells us. "You'll be very proud of him, I'm sure."

I smile. "I already am," I tell him. "Goodbye, and thank you, both of you, for everything."

Leia and I board the ship once more, much to the surprise of Captain Antilles who was expecting a much longer layover.

"We need to get to Coruscant," I tell him. "To the Imperial Academy."  
"Isn't the Academy on Imperial Centre?" Leia asks.

"That's the name the emperor gave it, Milady," Antilles tells me.

I frown. "Whatever it's called," I say. "Just get us there as soon as possible, Captain."

"Right away, Milady," he replies and heads for the cockpit.

"Should we tell Dad?" Leia asks as we head for the lounge.

"No," I tell her. "He knows you're with me, and I'll take care of you," I tell her.

Leia smiles. "Good," she replies. "I don't want to go home yet anyway."

We sleep for a few hours as the ship makes its way to the capital. I have mixed feelings about returning there now; for even more than Tatooine, Coruscant, or Imperial Centre as it's known by now, holds for me many, many memories. Most of them are good memories, though; memories of the happy times I spent at the home I shared with Anakin, of the happy reunions we had there, the stolen moments were shared as we tried desperately to cling to each other in the shadow of the Jedi edicts.

"I haven't been to Imperial Centre in a long time," Leia tells me as the ship makes it's ascent to the planet.

"It's been a while for me too," I tell her. "I lived here before you and Luke were born," I add. "Your father and I had an apartment here, right in the heart of the city."

"Really? Do you think it's still there?" she asks. "I'd _love _to see where you two lived."  
I don't know how to respond, for part of me is very uneasy at the thought of seeing 500 Republica again.

"I don't know," I tell her. "It's probably being lived in by someone else now," I reason.

"I don't think they'd mind if we had a quick look around, do you?" she asks. She certainly has her father's tenacity, and I find myself smiling.

"I suppose not," I reply. "But it has to be short," I add. "I'm anxious to get to the Academy."  
"So am I," she replies. "But this is on the way, isn't it? I mean, the Academy is on the outside of the city. We're landing right in the heart of it."  
I nod, unable to avoid Leia's logic once more. "Okay, I guess we'll drop there first," I say. "But if they turn us away, don't be surprised."

She smiles. "It'll be okay, Mother," she says. "Trust me."

I can't help but laugh at her confidence.

Captain Antilles asks no questions of us, and lands the ship at the landing bay at the foot of 500 Republica Boulevard. I can't help but think back to the last time I was here, the night that Luke and Leia were born, when I rushed to Mustafar to confront Anakin. If only I hadn't gone; if only I'd waited as he'd asked me to. Perhaps things would have turned out differently; but I'll never know now. He's gone, and there's nothing that can undo the past.

"This is where I'd key in my security code," I tell her. I look around. "There's no one about," I say. "I don't know how we could go upstairs to see the place if there's no one to let us in."

Leia looks around. It's not that late, and yet there's not a person in sight. "Weird," she comments. "You'd think there'd be someone here," she muses with a frown.

"Doesn't look like we'll be able to see the place after all," I tell her. "Come on."

"Wait," she says. "What's the code? Just for fun," she adds. "Maybe it's the same. Maybe…maybe no one has moved in since you last left here. Come on, it's worth a shot. The worst that can happen is the code is refused, right?"

Once again Leia's logic is inescapable. I know the code won't work; I'm sure it's been changed many times by the various occupants of the apartment over the past sixteen years. But I decide to humour her, knowing I'll never hear the end of it if I walk away at this point.

"Okay," I say, walking over to the panel. "This is a waste of time," I add, entering the code. "But…." I stop as the panel goes green, and the lift doors open for us.

"Cool!!" Leia exclaims, and hurries inside. "Let's go!"

I'm confused, but step into the lift with her, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I don't understand it," I tell her as the lift carries us upward. "This is a prime location. Why wouldn't anyone have taken over the ownership in all this time?"

Leia shrugs. "Who knows?" she asks. "Maybe the building manager didn't want to sell it out of respect to you," she adds.

I doubt that; he was always a rather tight-fisted man as I recall.

The doors open, and we walk into the apartment in darkness. The lights are activated as soon as we start moving about, and I stop in my tracks. Nothing has changed; not a piece of furniture, not a work of art – nothing. It is as though I had lived here yesterday, right down to the holonovel sitting on the table beside the large sofa in the main room. Emotions fill me, but more than that, I'm puzzled and even a little unsettled by all of this. Has time stood still not only for me but for this place as well?

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

Leia and I turn around quickly, startled by the sudden sound of footsteps and voices. I feel myself grow more fearful by the sight of clones who flank two uniformed men, all of them pointing blasters at us.

"We meant no harm," I tell him, pulling Leia closer. "We just wanted to have a look around."

"How did you get past the security protocols'?" the second man answers.

I grow uneasy, and look at Leia as though to warn her not to say anything. I can't help but shake the feeling that we are in far greater trouble than merely trespassing.

"Answer me!" he shouts, striking me on the face. I stagger and Leia screams. She looks up at him angrily. "Leave her alone!" she cries. "We're not hurting anything!"

The man smirks. "You can tell that to Lord Vader," he sneers. "He won't be too happy with the two of you I'm sure."  
"What does Lord Vader care if we're here?" Leia asks.

"He owns the building," the first man tells us. "And he doesn't take kindly to trespassers."

From the little I know of Darth Vader, I know enough to be truly afraid at this point. Leia and I sit down on the sofa, under watch of the clones who keep their blasters trained on us.

"Are you okay?" Leia asks me.

"I think so," I reply, wiping my mouth with the back of one hand. There's blood on it.

"You'll be happy to know that Lord Vader is on his way," the first officer tells us after a clone communicates with him. "If I were you, I'd say a few prayers about now."

The other officer laughs.

I look at Leia, and put my arm around her, doing my best to be brave for her.

"I'm scared," she tells me quietly.

I kiss the top of her head. "So am I," I reply.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 12 – Voice of Darth Vader

My mood is foul as the shuttle makes its way to the planet surface. Someone has dared to trespass at Our Home – the only place left in the galaxy that isn't tarnished by the memories of what I did to my beloved Angel. My fists clench angrily as the shuttle comes alongside the apartment, as I fight against the tidal wave of memories that crash over me. I refuse them entry, squashing them before they unfold in my mind. I knew happiness here unlike any other in my life. To think that someone would dare to break in to this hallowed place makes furious.

"Lord Vader," a security officer greets me as I step on to the balcony. "We have the intruders inside."

"Alive I hope," I reply.

"Yes sir, as you ordered," he replies as he hurries alongside me.

"Good," I reply, relishing the thought of crushing the life out of them.

The large central room is full of clones, and they are all lined up behind the sofa- _the sofa where I felt our baby kick inside Padmé's belly…_

"How did they get in?" I ask as I move around to face the intruders.

"They wouldn't tell me, sir," the officer replies. "I figured you'd be able to find out," he added.

"No doubt," I grumble, as the clones step aside to let me pass. I stop as I see the intruders, for I'm certain that my mind is playing tricks on me at this point, for the face that I see before me cannot possible be real. And yet, if this is an illusion it is remarkable in detail.

"Who are you?" I ask finally. "You …look like someone I once knew, but you cannot possibly be her."

"That can't be so," she says, the voice even reminding me of Her. "You and I have never met, Lord Vader."

Her words only serve to confuse me more. I turn to the young girl who sits beside her, and recognize her as Princess Leia Organa. I've seen her in holonet reports, but never in person. There's something about her though...something unsettling, unnerving….and then it all starts to fall into place. I take a step back, unable to master the emotions that are now raging through me.

"Padmé?" I ask, the first time I've said her name since that dreadful day sixteen years ago. "Is it…can it really be you?"

She frowns. "My name is Padmé," she replies, in the defensive tone I know so well. "But I'm quite certain we don't know one another. My daughter and I were simply…"  
"This is your daughter?" I interject, looking back at Leia. Of course she is, she's the image of her mother.

Padmé nods slowly, her mistrust and guardedness growing. And then I realize- she doesn't know who I am.

"Leave us," I say to the clones. They don't hesitate even more a moment, and walk away. The two officers, however, lag behind. I ignore them, however, and step closer to Padmé, to see her face more clearly. It is only then that I notice the blood seeping from the corner of her mouth and the bruising there.

"Who struck you?" I ask her, the rage swelling in me.

Wordlessly she points to the man standing on my left. Without turning to him I crush his larynx where he stands. Padmé and Leia wince at the sound of his snapping bones and I see my child take her mother's hand. I can feel their terror; no doubt they think they are next.

"You will both come with me," I tell them at last. "There is a great deal you don't know, a great deal you must be told."

"Where are you taking us?" Padmé asks as she and Leia stand up, their hands still joined. I look at my wife, the emotions in her large eyes clear. She is terrified, and yet, she is holding her head high as she always has, facing her fears straight on. My heart swells at the sight of her courage, and I'm reminded once more of what a remarkable woman she truly is.

"To my ship," I tell them. "You'll be safe there, I promise. No one will ever harm you again, you have my word."

"Does that include you?" she asks as I turn away.

I look back at her. "Yes," I tell her.

Padmé's brow furrows, in the way I know means she doesn't believe what she's been told.

"I give you my word," I say again.

Padmé nods, and then she and Leia follow me, carefully stepping around the grisly remains of the security officer whose dead body now lies on the floor of the apartment.

My mind is a jumble of thoughts and emotions as we ride the shuttle to my ship. Few words are exchanged, for I am acutely aware of how terrified my wife and daughter are of me at this point. The fact that they are alive should fill me with elation; but the joy of this discovery is tainted by the knowledge that, once again, I have been lied to. The past sixteen years we have been apart I have lived in painful isolation, believing I was responsible for the death of my family. How did this all happen? Where has she been? Why was Luke raised on Tatooine while his twin was given a life of privilege? And how does Bail Organa fit into all of this? I hate to think of it – what if Padmé has married him?? I know that Organa's wife died several years back; has Padmé been living as his wife since then? Is that where she's been? Is that why Organa is always so nervous around me? I find myself growing angrier by the minute, and by the time we reach the ship I am bursting with questions and accusations.

"I need to speak to your mother alone," I tell Leia. She looks at Padmé in alarm, no doubt afraid she'll never see her again.

"You may wait in here," I tell her, showing her into an adjoining lounge next to the office we're in. "There's a food synth if you're hungry," I add, surprising her with my civility.

"Thank you," she replies, and then leaves us, giving Padmé one last backwards glance before the door slides closed behind her.

I turn back to Padmé, who is watching me guardedly.

"Please sit down," I tell her. She does so, not taking her eyes off of me.

"What is going to happen to my daughter and me?" she asks, cutting to the chase.

I don't answer her right away, and sit down across from her. For a moment I simply look at her, taking in every detail of her face. She hasn't changed in sixteen years- not at all. I'm not sure how that is possible, but I don't care at this point. My angel is alive, the details are secondary.

"Please answer me," she says, shaking me from my musings.

"I gave you my word that you wouldn't be harmed," I tell her finally. "You clearly don't believe me."  
"Why should I?" she replies. "You're nothing if not notorious, Lord Vader."  
"I suppose I am," I admit. "But there are things about me you don't know, Padmé," I add. "Things you need to know."

She frowns. "Forgive me if I'm not interested," she replies tersely and looks away. How I've missed that spunkiness of hers!

"Tell me about your husband, Padmé," I tell her. She looks back at me at once. That certainly got her attention.

"My husband is none of your concern," she replies with barely restrained rage. I can see the anger in her eyes, and I know that I'm right. She doesn't know who I am.

"I'm not trying to upset you," I tell her. "It's a simple request."

"I don't have to tell you anything," she retorts. "Surely you have enough resources at your disposal that you can find out anything you want about him."

I look at her for a moment, the anger and animosity I feel from her almost painful. "Your husband was Anakin Skywalker, wasn't he?"

A look of sadness fills her eyes at this point. "You seem to know all about him," she replies quietly. "Why ask me?"

"Aren't you curious _how _I know?" I ask her. "How I know you?"

"You have vast resources, Lord Vader," she replies. "I'm sure you have all the answers," she adds bitterly.

"Not quite," I reply. "Such as, how is it the galaxy has believed you to be dead for the past sixteen years?" I ask her. "And clearly you're quite well and alive."

She looks away again, wincing slightly as though speaking is causing her pain. And then I remember the officer who'd struck her, and my eyes are drawn to the bruises around her mouth. I frown, and get up from my seat.

"Send a medical droid in here at once," I say, depressing the com on the desk.

"Yes sir," an immediate response is heard. I look back at Padmé, who is now looking at me with fear.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asks, her anger giving way to terror. No doubt she thinks I've summoned the droid to assist me in some form of gruesome torture. I'm prevented from responding by the timely arrival of a medical droid.

"Treat her," I tell it. "She's been injured."  
The droid goes to Padmé at once and sets to work cleaning her wound and then applying bacta to the injured area. She looks up at me, the confusion clear in her eyes.

"Now will you believe me when I tell you I mean you no harm?" I ask her.

She nods.

"Then perhaps you'll trust me enough to answer my questions," I reply. She looks away, and I'm reminded of just how stubborn my wife truly is.

"Your funeral made the holo-news," I tell her as the droid finishes up. "I saw the footage myself. Was that staged, then? Is that what happened?"

"I suppose so," she replies, annoying me with her evasiveness.

"So you've been alive all this time," I continue. "Alive and hiding."

"If you insist," she replies, irking me further.

"Where have you been?" I ask, doing my best to keep my irritation at bay.

She frowns. "I can't for the life of me imagine why you'd care," she says. "What is it to you where I've been?" she asks me.

"Just tell me," I reply.

Her frown deepens. "Naboo," she tells me at last. "I've been on Naboo."

She can't be telling the truth, for I've been there. If she'd been living on Naboo, I would have known about it. And yet, she's not lying.

"You've been living on Naboo? All this time??" I ask.

"I've been on Naboo," she says again, and I know she's not telling me something.

"Where? How have you remained hidden all this time?" I ask.

She sighs. "I've been in a hospital," she tells me. "And I've spent the past sixteen years in stasis. Satisfied?"

Her words shock me, for this is something I'd never considered. "Why?? Why were you in stasis?" I demand.

She looks back at me. "How is that your concern?" she asks me.

"Just tell me!"

My tone frightens her, and she responds. "I had medical complications after the birth of my child," she tells me. "And suffered heart failure. I was kept in stasis in order to keep me alive."

"Heart failure?? How? Why?? What caused it?" I demand. And then I remember that dreadful, horrible moment of madness on Mustafar; I caused her heart failure. I nearly killed her, and that was the result of my attack.

"It was because of what happened to you on Mustafar, wasn't it?" I ask her.

Her eyes widen at this point, and I know I'm right.

"You don't know anything about what happened on Mustafar," she breathes, her voice starting to lose its strength.

I nod. "I do know," I tell her. "All too well, Padmé. I was there, you see. I was the one who attacked you that day."

_Voice of Leia Organa _

The room Lord Vader has shown me into is actually nicer than I thought possible for an Imperial ship. It's well furnished, and almost…homey, if that's possible. I look around, trying to take my mind off what is going on in the next room. The thought that something bad could happen to my mother is just too hard to consider. I've only just found her; I can't lose her now! Part of me thinks I'm going to wake up from a dream one of these days because I still can't believe my mother is truly alive. She's everything I've ever imagined her to be too: smart, beautiful, kind, brave…it's so sad that we've lived apart for so long. I only hope our lives won't be ruined now that Darth Vader is in the picture.

"Is that the new Rii6000??!" I say aloud as I see an amazing game system amidst all the rest of the cool stuff in the room. Why would Darth Vader want one of these?? I've been bugging my father for one for weeks now, ever since they came out. Great- Darth Vader has one but I don't. I get closer to look at it and am about to pick up the game controller when the door behind me slides open. I turn around quickly and come face to face with a boy who looks at me with surprise.

"Hi," he says. "What are you doing here?"

"I was asked to wait here," I reply, edging way from the game.

"By who?" he asks, tossing a datapad on a nearby couch. He seems pretty comfortable here, far more comfortable than anyone else on this ship.

"Darth Vader," I reply. "He's interrogating my mother," I add.

The boy looks at me, and I can tell he's trying to figure out what I'm feeling. "He's not going to hurt her," he assures me. "Don't worry."

I frown, not liking the boy's cockiness. "How do _you _know?" I challenge.

He sits down on the sofa and smiles up at me. "I know him pretty well," he informs me. "He's not nearly as bad as you think he is."

"And how do you know what I think?" I ask, hands on my hips.

His smile grows, only infuriating me more. "I can see it in your mind," he tells me. "You're afraid for your mother because you've think Vader is a monster," he says. "Isn't that right?"

I expel a rather loud breath and the boy laughs.

"Told you so," he says, picking up the holonovel. "Are you hungry?"

"No," I lie.

"Sure?" he asks, getting up again and walking to the food synth.

"Positive," I lie.

He shrugs. "Suit yourself," he says, and enters some commands in the console. I watch with mouth watering as he replicates a delicious looking sandwich and salad. "Sure you're not hungry?" he asks.

"Well, maybe a little," I tell him.

He chuckles. "What'll you have? This thing can make anything you want. _Anything,_" he brags.

"Is that so?" I ask.

"Uh huh," he replies, the cocky smile returning to his face.

"How about Alderaan chocolate mousse?" I ask.

"No problem," he says, entering a command. At once the dessert appears. My face must betray my shock, for he laughs again.

"Come sit down with me," he says. "I don't get to talk to kids my own age too often," he adds.

"I guess not," I reply, setting at the small table with him. "So what are you doing here, anyway? You're too young to be an officer," I declare.

"Yeah, I guess I am," he replies, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"So how come you're here?" I ask between spoonfuls of mousse.

"My father lives on this ship," he explains. "I live with him."

I nod my understanding. "Your mom too?"

"No, my mom's dead," he tells me. "It's just me and him."

"Oh," I reply. We eat for a few moments in silence as I ponder this unusual boy. I know enough about Imperial protocol to know that it's highly unusual for an officer to be permitted family on board the ship he serves on. Particularly if the commanding officer of that ship is Darth Vader.

"So why is your mom in trouble?" he asks me. I give him a dirty look.

"She didn't do anything wrong, if that's what you're implying," I tell him, giving him my best ice-princess stare.

"She must have done something to tick off my father," he says.

I must have misheard him. "Your _father?"_ I ask.

"Yeah, Vader's my father," he tells me casually, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He looks at me with a smile. "Surprised?"

"Well…yeah…I mean…I had no idea he was even _human,"_ I stammer.

He frowns. "Of course he's human," he says, sounding a little defensive. "He has to wear that mask to live, you know. He had a terrible accident when he was younger. He used to be a great Jedi Knight until he was betrayed by his best friend. It was him that did that to him."

I'm not sure if I ought to believe what he's telling me; this could all be some sort of weird Imperial trick. My father has taught me to be very mistrustful of anything that has to do with the Empire, and as nice as this boy appears to be, he could be nothing more than an Imperial spy sent in here to trick me into saying something that would land me and my mother into more trouble.

"You don't believe me," he says. It freaks me out that he knows what I'm thinking, or seems to. Sort of reminds me of how I can do that, how I can tell what people are thinking or feeling.

"Not really, no," I admit.

He shrugs. "Suit yourself," he replies, and returns to his meal. I watch him for a few minutes, pushing the mousse around on my plate as I do so.

"So do you have a name?" he asks me.

"Yes," I reply.

"You gonna tell me what it is?" he asks.

It's my turn to shrug. "Maybe," I say. "Do you?"

He smiles. "Of course I do," he replies. "Doesn't everybody?"

I sigh, growing annoyed with him again. "So??"  
"Luke," he says. "My name is Luke."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 13 _Voice of Padmé Amidala_

Vader's words have rendered me speechless, for I cannot even conceive of what level of perversity would enable him to say such a thing.

"Torture me if you must, Vader," I say finally, doing my best to keep my voice even. "But not that. If you have any shred of humanity or decency in you, not that."

Vader is unmoved. "I know you don't believe me," he tells me, walking closer to me. "But it's the truth. I _ am_ your husband, Padmé."

I know Palpatine well enough to realize that this is a trap; there is no level he wouldn't stoop to in order to destroy my family.

"My husband is dead," I tell him, unable to keep my emotion from my voice. "I don't know what you think you're going to accomplish by this…ludicrous farce," I continue. "But I…"  
"Padmé, I know this is ….difficult," he interjects. "But it's the truth. Kenobi did this to me," he continues, indicating the grotesque mask he wears. "He mutilated me and left me to burn in the lava of Mustafar. Palpatine found me and brought me to the medical centre on Coruscant. This is the result," he concludes.

I stare at him, my mind returning unheeded to that dreadful day on Mustafar. I hate to admit it, but what he is describing could have happened. But why then, has no one told me? No, this has to be a lie, it has to be a trick.

"I don't believe you," I maintain, but my voice lacks the conviction it had moments earlier. "I know Palpatine, I know he'd stop at nothing to cause me harm, even fabricating this…story, and putting you up to this charade."

"You're right," he responds, much to my surprise. "Palpatine is a sadistic bastard whose cruelty knows no bounds," he continues. "And now that I know the truth, I will do everything in my power to protect you and the twins from him."

I don't know how to feel at this point; part of me wants to believe that Anakin is still alive. But is there anything left of him in this monstrous being standing before me? I'm so afraid to trust, so afraid for my children that I am frozen with indecision and doubts.

"Wait here," he says, no doubt sensing my conflict. He walks to the door that leads to the next room, where Leia is waiting. Surely he wouldn't use my own child to coerce me into believing him? But it isn't Leia who emerges from the room with; it's a young man, who looks to be the same age as her. More than that, he looks very much like Anakin. I know at once that this must be my son.

"Luke is living with me here now," Vader tells me, as the boy looks at me with curiosity. "I found him at the Imperial Academy, and brought him here." He turns to Luke. "Luke, this is Padmé Amidala Skywalker, your mother," he says.

Luke's eyes, the same brilliant blue eyes of his father, widen upon hearing this. "You…you said she was dead," he says, turning to Vader. "How can she be my mother?"

"I thought she was," Vader replies, looking back at me. "It's a very …complicated situation, but now that we're all together, there's plenty of time to sort it all out."

I look at him once again, tearing my eyes away from Luke for a moment. "I have no doubt that this is my son," I tell him. "But you've yet to convince me that you are his father," I add.

"Why would you doubt it?" Luke asks me. "Why would be pretend to be my father?"  
I look back at my son. "Luke, there's so much you don't know," I tell him. "It's very complicated."

"I have an idea," Vader says. He looks over at Leia, who's been watching the goings-on with a bewildered look on her face. "I can prove it," he said, still looking at Leia. "With a blood test."

Leia looks at me, eyes wide with confusion. "Mother?? What's going on?"

"Just go along with this, Leia," I tell her. "I will explain it all," I add. "Assuming of course there's something to explain," I add, looking back up at Vader.

"Oh there will be," he assures me, summoning the medical droid who had just treated my injury. "I need DNA tests done," he tells the droid. "On all four of us," he adds. His frankness makes me uneasy, for I've not had a chance to tell Leia what he's claiming. I don't want her finding out this way, but it seems out of my hands at this point. All I can do at this point is support her, and so I sit beside her as the droid takes a blood sample from the tip of one finger, holding her other hand as it does so.

"Mother, what's going on?" she asks me again.

"We'll find out in a moment," I tell her, watching as the droid helps Vader remove one of his plates of shoulder armour. I catch a glimpse of the scarred skin beneath his suit, and look away. It looks as though he'd suffered terrible burns- the sort of burns one would expect from contact with lava. I shudder to think that what he has told me is true; I can't even imagine how he would have suffered. Next it takes a sample from Luke, and then me last.

"I will have the results in a moment," the droid informs us. "What exactly am I looking for, Lord Vader?"

"Proof," he says, replacing his armour. "Proof that this woman and I are the parents of these two individuals," he adds, nodding in the direction of Luke and then Leia.

"Very good sir," the droid replies, and takes the blood samples to a nearby computer console. The four of us watch in silence as the droid conducts a simple DNA test. I can feel Leia's grip on my hand tightening with each moment that passes.

"There is a match between your DNA, Lord Vader," the droid announces after what seems like an eternity, "and the DNA of both these young people. There is also a DNA match between this woman," it continues, pointing at me, "and the two of them as well. Based on this information, I conclude that you and she are the biological parents of the two individuals. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"

"No," Vader replies. "You may leave now."

The droid leaves, and the room is silent, save for the sound of Vader's mechanical respirator. Vader. My husband. The father of my twins.

"How can this be?" Leia speaks up finally. "How can you be my father?? My father died! It can't be true!"

"It is true," Vader assures her. "You now have the proof," he adds, turning to me.

I nod, unable to deny it any longer. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept.

"Luke, why don't you take your sister and show her around," Vader suggests. "You two have a lot of catching up to do."

"Okay Father," Luke replies. He stands up and walks over to me and Leia.

"It will be okay," he tells me, giving me a smile. I look up at him, the joy I feel at finally finding him eclipsed by all that has happened.

"I know," I say. I stand up and take his face in my hands. "I'm so happy to have found you again," I tell him.

He smiles, and puts his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "I'm happy too," he tells me. My tears are impossible to hold back at this point as I embrace my long lost son. This is what I must hold on to; I have my children. I can face whatever comes now that we are together again.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

As I walk through the now familiar corridors of my father's ship, I keep looking at my sister. My sister- I still can't believe I have a twin sister!! I can feel how upset and shocked she is. I've had a few weeks to get used to calling Darth Vader father- she hasn't.

"You okay?" I ask as we step into the turbolift.

"I guess so," she replies. "How long have you known? How long have you been living here?"  
"Not that long," I tell her. "Father found me at the Academy," I explain. "I was getting bullied pretty badly by some bigger guys, and he sorted them out for me. Expelled them all, and then told me why he wanted to protect me."

"Were you shocked?" she asks.

I shrug. "Yeah, I mean…I was told Anakin Skywalker was my father," I tell her. "And that he'd been killed. Turns out it was all lies."

"I was told even less," she replies. "I was told both parents were dead, but no names were even given to me. My mother …I mean our mother came to Alderaan a few days ago to ask my father…I mean, my _adopted _father about us." She sighs. "it's all so mixed up," she says.

"I guess so," I agree. "Father has told me that the emperor would be threatened by my abilities," I tell her. "And that probably goes for you too."

She frowns. "Why? Why would the emperor be threatened by us?"

"Because we're like our father," I tell her. "We're strong with the Force, and Palpatine knows that."

She is silent as she thinks about this. "Doesn't that put us in danger, though?" she asks. "I mean, now that the truth is out?"

"Yeah it does," I tell her as we step off of the lift. "But Father will protect us, Leia," I assure her. "You don't need to worry."

Leia doesn't respond, but I get the impression that she's still very worried. She'll understand in time, though; once she gets to know Father like I have, she'll be just fine.

"So you've lived on Alderaan all this time?" I ask her. Even though we're twins, it's pretty awkward between us still. I guess that's to be expected, since we haven't seen each other since the day we were born.

"Yes," she replies. "I was adopted by the Viceroy and his wife," she tells me.

"So…you're royalty then?" I ask.

"I'm a princess," she informs me. "But not really, I guess," she adds.

"I don't know," I reply. "Father told me that our mother was a queen," I tell her. "So I guess that makes us both royalty."

She smiles at me. "That's right," she replies. "She told me that. So you grew up on Tatooine?"

"Yeah, lucky me," I reply.

"I met your guardians," she tells me. "Mother and I went there to find you."

"Nice place, isn't it?" I reply.

Leia laughs. "It's not that bad," she lies.

"Easy for you to say," I respond. "You didn't have to stay there for sixteen years."

"No," she replies. "I kind of feel badly that you lived there and I got to live as a princess," she says.

"Why would you?" I respond. "We were babies, we had no say in what happened. From my understanding we had to be hidden from the emperor, and Tatooine was a great hiding place. If nothing else, it's that."

Leia smiles. "You're right," she replies. "I don't think I'd ever heard of it before, to tell you the truth."

I laugh. "Doesn't surprise me," I reply. "If there's a bright centre to the universe, Tatooine is the farthest thing from it," I add, using a line I'd heard many times back home. Leia laughs, and I smile. I don't want her to be unhappy here; I want to help her accept our new life together with our newly found parents. I only hope that our mother can accept it. I can't help but wonder how things are going between her and Father. From the little he's told me about their life together, I know how much he loves her. I hope she's able to accept who he has become; I'm not sure he could handle her rejection now that he's found her again.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 14 Voice of Darth Vader

My wife's silence after the departure of our children speaks louder than any words she could say at this point. Her shock is painfully clear to me. She is conflicted and confused, but what else did I expect? The last time I saw her she was lying unconscious after my attack upon her; how could I think she'd be anything but bitter and distant?

"Please say something," I say at last, unable to stand the silence any longer. "I know this must be…shocking for you," I continue, grasping desperately at words. "After what happened the last time we saw one another, I imagine you must have a few things you want to say to me."

Padmé looks at me, and I see in her eyes a multitude of emotions. I must bear in mind that for her, Mustafar happened only mere days ago. She has not had sixteen years to reflect on it as I have; her wounds are still raw.

"What do you want me to say?" she asks me finally. "That I forgive you? That I understand what happened?"  
"I don't expect you to understand," I respond at once. "Nor do I expect forgiveness. I don't deserve it," I continue. "I will never forgive myself for what I did on that day, so how can I possibly expect you to forgive me?"

She says nothing in response; my words useless.

"What can I expect from you?" she asks me. "Are you going to notify Palpatine? Are you going to hand the twins over to him, now?"

"Why would you even ask me such a thing?" I reply. "I've given you my word that I'd protect you all," I remind her.

She looks away, and I feel her disbelief. "You were given the choice once between your family and your master," she says quietly. "And you chose your master. You'll have to forgive me if I doubt that you'd make a different choice now."

Her words sting me, and yet they do not surprise. Clearly it will take a great deal of work to earn her trust again. But I am determined; I've lived without her for sixteen years. I won't give up on her now that I've found her again.

"I was a blind fool back then," I tell her at last. "Blinded by his flattery, his deceit. That day on Mustafar…" I stop, words escaping me. How to I express the self-loathing and shame I feel whenever I think of what I did to her on that day? Words seems so shallow in the face of such an atrocity.

"You thought I betrayed you," she reminds me, her voice tremulous with emotion. "You thought I'd brought Obi-Wan there to kill you."

"I was mad," I reply. "I…I was consumed by darkness, by rage," I continue. Her eyes reflect her emotions, as they always have; and I see in them that forgiveness will not be easily given.

"And _that_ makes it acceptable for you to attack the woman who was carrying your unborn children?" she asks me. "The person who loved you more than anyone or anything in the universe? Does that make it okay?"  
"No, of course it doesn't," I respond at once. "I cannot undo the past, Padmé," I continue. "If I could…our lives would be so different now."  
The tears fill her eyes at this point, making my heart ache painfully. "I wanted us to have a different life," she reminds me. "I _begged_ you to come away with me, to raise our child," she continues as tears roll down her face. "But you didn't want that. You wanted what Palpatine offered more than what I did. You wanted …this," she says, holding her arms out to indicate the stark sterility of the ship around us.

"This isn't what I wanted," I counter. "I wanted us to rule together," I remind her. "I wanted you by my side, in charge of the galaxy. I never wanted to be Palatine's slave and to lose you forever. I'd go through the hell of Mustafar again if it could change that."

"The past can't be changed," she replies. "I've lost sixteen years of my life that I can never get back," she adds. "Sixteen years….my children's infancy, their childhood- all gone, never to return." Her bitterness is profound. I can't blame her; she's lost so much because of Mustafar. Because of me.

"Padmé, I want to do everything I can to make it up to you," I tell her, finally finding the courage to say it. "I know I can never give you back those years, but I want to do what I can to make you happy."

She looks at me for a moment, and then looks away. "I want to go home," she tells me quietly. "I want to go to the lake with the twins. I need….time, and peace, and somewhere quiet to try to put everything into place."

"I understand that," I reply. "But Naboo is out of the question."

She looks back at me quickly. "What do you mean, out of the question?" she demands.

"I mean it's not safe for you or the twins to be there," I tell her. "If Palpatine learns that you're alive, he would stop at nothing to find you and the twins."

She frowns, not liking what I'm saying, but understanding, I think, why I'm saying it.

"You and the twins will be safe here, with me," I tell her. "I will keep you hidden from him; it's the only chance you have of remaining anonymous, not to mention Luke and Leia."

"A star destroyer is not a home," she replies.

"It can be," I reply. "It all depends on how your attitude I suppose."

She frowns. "My _attitude_?" she asks. "And what exactly do you think my attitude should be?"

"Acceptance," I tell her, her bitterness starting to wear me down. "This is the way things are, Padmé," I remind her. "I know you want what's best for Luke and Leia; so do I. And, like it or not, this is what's best for them."

"Well I don't like it," she replies. "I don't like being a prisoner, and that's what this is, nothing less."  
"If that is how you wish to think of it, then that is your prerogative," I tell her. "I'm having quarters renovated for you and the twins. Feel free to order anything you need in the way of clothing of other personal items. Money is no object."

"Won't that arouse Palpatine's suspicion?" she asks.

"I have accounts he knows nothing about," I assure her. "I'll have my personal assistant help you."

"Thank you," she replies, and I know it's an effort for her to say the words.

"I have arranged for temporary quarters for you and the children to use until yours are ready," I tell her. "I'll take you to them now," I add.

"I appreciate it," she replies. She is using her best diplomatic tone with me, and I hate it. I'd rather have her anger than her dispassion. But for now, I will accept it, and thank the Maker that she is back in my life.

_Voice of Leia Organa_

Luke has brought me to a suite of rooms where Mother is. My father isn't with her, and I sense that she is very upset. All of this is still so unbelievable that I'm still not convinced I'm awake. I keep expecting to wake up in my bedroom in the palace on Alderaan to find that this has all been an elaborate dream.

"Father told me he's having special quarters made for all of us to live in," Luke tells me as we join our mother. "These are temporary."

"You mean…we're _staying _here?" I ask, looking at Mother in alarm.

She nods, her eyes betraying how she feels about this. "Yes Leia," she tells me quietly. "We are."

"But…but what about my home on Alderaan?" I cry. "My father...all my friends…my school….everything is there!"  
"Your father is here, Leia," Luke tells me. He sounds hurt, and I realize that he must be by my protests.

"I know that," I tell him. "But the Viceroy has been the only father I've ever known, Luke. I love him- how can I just not go back to him?"

"This is the only place you and Luke are safe now," Mother tells me.

I frown. "Why? Safe from what? From who?"

"The emperor," Luke tells me. "If he learns that we're alive, he'll hunt us down. Father can protect us here, Leia. He won't let anything happen to us."  
I look at Mother, unable to hold back my tears. "Is this true?" I ask, my voice no more than a whisper.

She nods. "I'm afraid so," she replies, her sadness clear in her voice. "This will be our home so long as Palpatine lives."

Luke watches us, and I know he's feeling uneasy. He feels hurt, rejected even, and I feel awful that I've made him feel this way. I turn to him, anxious to make him understand.

"Luke, I'm _so _happy that I've found you," I tell him. "I never dreamed I had a brother, and I'm so glad that I have," I add, forcing myself to smile. "But please try to see it my way – this is really going to be hard for me to get used to. I hope you can understand that."

I can see in his eyes that he does, and he nods.

"I do," he replies. "And I just hope you'll try and see the bright side of all this; we're together now," he says, looking at Mother and then back at me. "All four of us, for the first time ever. And that's pretty amazing, don't' you think?"

Mother smiles. "yes Luke," she speaks up. "It is."

Luke smiles, and then turns to me. "Well sis? What do you think?"

His positive attitude is infectious, and I find myself smiling too. "I think I'm going to like having you as my twin brother," I tell him.

Luke grins. "Come on," he says. "Let's contact the Viceroy so you can tell him what's going on. We can arrange to have your stuff brought here if you want, or you can buy new stuff. Father's really rich."

"Well, I do like shopping," I reply, willing myself to be positive.

"Figures," Luke says. "Most girls do."

Mother laughs softly as we head to the com together. I know she's struggling with all of this too, but she's doing a far better job of hiding it from Luke than I've been doing. The more I get to know her, the more amazed I am by her. I only hope I can be like her when I'm a grown woman.

As Luke is contacting Alderaan, I feel my stomach tightening with anxiety. What do I tell my father? He will be so upset, so hurt that I'm not coming home. And yet, hasn't he known all along that Darth Vader is my real father? Has he known that all my life and never told me? I'd hate to think that he's lied to me all this time, but it's kind of heard not to consider that possibility.

"Leia, thank the Maker!" my father exclaims upon seeing my face upon his computer screen. "Where are you?? Are you all right? Captain Antilles…"

"I'm fine, Dad," I assure him. "Mother and I are both fine. We're on board the Star Destroyer _Executor_."

I can sense his immediate fear. "You're on a star destroyer?? Why?? How did you get there? Are you prisoners?? You just tell me the name of the Imperial scum who has dared to…"

"It was Darth Vader who brought us here," I tell him. "I know the truth about him, now," I add. "And I've met my brother, Luke. He was here with our father."  
He is silent as he listens, and says nothing for a long time afterwards. Surely he must have expected that Lord Vader would find out the truth eventually.

"I see," he replies quietly. "So Vader means to hold you there as his prisoners, then," he adds, the bitterness clear in his voice.

"Not as prisoners," I tell him. "He wants to protect us from the emperor."

"Oh yes, I see," he replies. He doesn't believe it. "I'd like to speak with your mother, Leia."  
"Okay," I say, a little hurt that he's not more sad that I'm leaving him.

I look at my mother, who's standing, no doubt expecting he'd want to talk to her.

"It's okay," she tells me quietly as she takes my place at the console. I take some comfort from her words, and stand back in order to listen to what he has to say to her.

"Padmé, what the hell is going on??"

"I think Leia has explained that."

"She told me what happened, but not how it happened. How could you allow Vader to get a hold of her?"

I can tell Mother is getting upset at this point. "Do you think I asked for this to happen? She wanted to see our old apartment, only when we got there we were arrested for trespassing by Vader's men. Why didn't you tell me who he was?" she asks, and I can hear her anger in her voice now. "You let me believe that Anakin was dead!"  
"He _is _dead, Padmé," my father replies. "He died the day he slaughtered the Jedi. Don't think there's anything left of him in Vader. I promise you there isn't."

"What you think is immaterial," she replies. "He's keeping us here, and there's nothing to be done about it. He means to protect us from Palpatine, and I have to believe him. I have to trust him, Bail. I'll go insane if I don't. Do you understand that?"  
"Not really," my father replies. "But I have to accept it I suppose, don't i?"

"Yes, we all do," Mother replies. "Please have Leia's things packed up. Arrangements are being made to pick them up and bring them here."  
"So I'll never see her again then? Is that it?" he asks finally.

"I don't know, Bail," Mother replies. "I have no idea what the future holds."

"May I say goodbye to her?" he asks.

"Of course," Mother replies. She turns back to me. I look at her, wishing I didn't have to do this, wishing that I could just say I'll see you soon; but in reality I have no idea when or if I'll ever see him again.

"So you'll be living with your real family from now on," he says to me as I sit don.

I simply nod.

"Leia, I want you to know that I never meant to lie to you," he tells me. I feel the tears starting, and I blink hard to keep them back. "I did what I thought was best for you. I know Darth Vader is your biological father, but he could never be more of a father to you than I have been. I love you as though you were my own, and always will."

"I love you too," I whisper through my tears. "We'll see each other again, right?" I ask him.

He smiles sadly. "Of course we will," he replies. I know that tone; he used it when my adopted mother was dying, whenever I'd ask if she was going to be okay. "Very soon, I'm sure."  
I nod. "Okay," I reply. "I'll see you soon, then," I say, unable to say goodbye to him

"See you soon sweetheart," he replies, no doubt having the same trouble as I am. I end the transmission and stand up. My mother's comforting embrace is waiting for me, and I welcome it, not even trying to hold back the tears at this point.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 15 _Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"_Don't be afraid." _

_I look up at him, my eyes filled with unshed tears. "I'm not afraid to die," I tell him quietly. "I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life."_

_He looks confused__. "What are you talking about?" he asks me._

"_I lo__ve you," I say simply. It feels so liberating to finally say it. If only I'd said it sooner, if only we had more time…_

"_You love me??" __he asks me in surprise. He looks away, almost as though he's angry. "I thought that we had decided not to fall in love," he reminds me. "That we would be forced to live a lie, and it would destroy our lives."_

"_I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway," I tell him. I look at him, wondering how I ever imagined that I could deny loving him. He's in my heart, my soul; I can't breathe that I don't think of him and want him near. _

"_I can't keep pretending anymore, Anakin, not now,"__ I tell him. "I only wish that I'd had the courage to tell you before…before it was too late..." I stop as more tears spill out of my eyes. "I truly, deeply love you," I whisper. "And before we die I want you to know."_

I turn over in my sleep, the dream shaking me from my slumber. That day seems such a short time ago; and yet it was almost twenty year now. The love we shared was so strong, so undeniable; what happened to it? I will never forgive that terrible day when I confronted Anakin on Mustafar, that day when my world was shattered forever. And yet, I remember telling Obi-Wan Kenobi that I knew there was good in him; did I mean it? Or was that simply wishful thinking?? I know what he has done, and I can only imagine what he has done in the past sixteen years. Has the Dark Side consumed him so completely now that there's nothing left of the good man he once was? I have to believe there is; otherwise living here will be unbearable.

Leia seems a little better this morning. I know she was crying a lot in the night; I feel so badly now that I let her talk me into going into the apartment. If I hadn't, then none of this would have happened. But then we would never have found Luke, so I have to believe that this is for the best. And that somehow I will find my Ani deep inside the man he's become.

"How did you sleep?" I ask my daughter as we sit down to eat breakfast.

"Not very well," she replies. "Too much on my mind I guess," she adds, pushing her eggs around on her plate.

"I can completely understand," I tell her. Luke enters the room at this point and helps himself to the breakfast I've replicated.

"Morning," he says with a smile. "I'm starved!"

Leia and I both smile.

"So how do you go to school while living on a star destroyer?" I ask him as we eat breakfast.

"Tutors," Luke informs me. "Droids mostly. It's kinda boring to tell you the truth. It will be nice to have a classmate," he adds, looking at Leia.

"Yes it will," Leia agrees. "I'm pretty tired of being tutored by myself too."

The door to our suite slides open, and Vader enters. I don't know how to address him now; I refuse to use the name Palpatine gave him, and yet he is not Anakin. For now I call him nothing; sooner or later I'll have to decide, though.

"Good morning," he says as he comes over to the table. "I trust I'm not intruding."

"Of course not," Luke replies. It's clear how comfortable Luke is with hs father already. I'm glad for this; I only hope Leia can learn to accept him as well in time. "Sit down and join us."

"Thank you Luke," Vader replies. "But I can't right now. I just came to tell you that we will be leaving the Capital. I have a mission in the Yavin System and we'll be getting underway very soon."

"What kind of mission?" I have the poor sense to ask.

Vader says nothing for a moment, and I regret asking immediately. "You needn't concern yourselves with that," he tells me. "Just know that I'll be on the planet surface for an extended period of time, so should you require anything you may ask my assistant. He's been given instructions to look after you in my absence."

"Thank you," I reply, not knowing what else to say. Something has been bothering me, and I decide to ask while it's still fresh in my mind. "Aren't you concerned about spies on board this ship?" I ask him. "Spies who are loyal to Palpatine?"

"I've already taken care of that," he tells me. "You don't need to worry, Padmé. You're safe here, I promise you."

I nod in response, not wanting to ask what 'taken care of' might mean. I have some idea, however, and it makes my blood run cold to think of it.

"When will you be back, Father?" Luke asks.

"I can't say," Vader replies. "I will contact you when I can."

"Okay," Luke says. "See you soon."

Vader leaves us, off to do Force knows what. Does Luke know what his father's place is in the galaxy? Does he know about the atrocities he committed in the past? He's so accepting of his father, so eager to kindle a relationship with him. Is it easier for him because he's ignorant of the past? Or does he sense something in Vader that I cannot see?

"Mother, I found a great online shopping site," Leia tells me. "You want to get some things?"

Since I only have the few items I brought with me from Alderaan, I'll have no choice but to take Vader up on his offer. "Yes I do," I reply, and stand up to join her.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

As my shuttle brings me to the planet surface, I pick up the datapad on the small table before me. The emperor has spies everywhere; there rare several reasons for this. Part of his is his paranoia; I know for a fact that he never sleeps, for he fears assassination. He's smart to be afraid. I know that there are spies whose sole job is to watch me. What Palpatine does not know, however, is that I have eliminated any of that particular branch of his spy network that I have encountered, including those who were on board my ship. My master seems to think me a fool; I am content to let him believe that. It's far easier that way. The largest part of his spy network has been dedicated to finding rogue Jedi, and over the past sixteen years they have proven most useful. It is from these spies that I have received word of a possible Jedi infestation on the planet .

My son asked me about the nature of my mission. He has asked me a great deal about my place in the Empire, and I have always been rather vague in my responses. It bothers me that I am uneasy with the truth; and I wonder why that is. I want Luke to become my apprentice once I have eliminated the emperor; he will need to know the truth of what I do. So why do I hesitate to tell him?

The shuttle lands and I stand up. I can feel an adrenaline rush as I summon the Force. It has been several months since I've faced a Jedi; they are all but extinct now. The day that they are gone forever is coming soon, the day when I finally get even with Kenobi for his treachery.

I am greeted on the landing platform by the commander of the clone squadron who has already reconnoitred the planet in advance.

"There's no doubt they're hiding someone, Lord Vader," the commander informs me. "We were ambushed when we arrived. I've already lost…"  
"I'm not interested in your losses," I interject irritably. "I have a job to do." I walk away, leaving the clone happy that I spared his life.

The building where the renegades are holding up is scarred with laser fire, most of the windows broken. We're in an old part of the city, in a remote, sparsely populated region where most of the inhabitants have moved on to better surroundings. No doubt the Jedi felt that they would go unnoticed here; they didn't count on my resourcefulness obviously.

"Surrender yourselves, Jedi," I call out as I enter the large, high ceilinged room. I get no reply, which doesn't surprise me, so I send the clones on up the narrow stairway at the side of the room. I follow them, lightsaber ready. It isn't long before the sound of blaster fire is heard and I know that my quarry is near.

There is a small room at the top of the stairs, and inside there are already several clones lying dead on the floor. On the far side of the room a makeshift barricade has been set up using the remnants of furniture.

"Show yourself Jedi," I shout into the din. "There is no way out for you and your traitorous allies."

"_You're _the traitor, Vader!" I hear in response. It is a woman's voice. "You'll pay for what you did to the Jedi Order!"

I've heard this before, many times; and her words do little to daunt me or dissuade me from my task.

"Bold words from someone who hasn't the courage to face their foe," I retort. I call off the clones. "This is between you and I, Jedi."

"Like hell it is," she replies. "You're the coward Vader," she adds. "You wouldn't have the nerve to walk in here without a squadron of your death troops."

Again, I've heard this before. "Surrender now or die," I tell her, giving her one last chance. She says nothing in response, and makes no move to show herself. And so I'm left no alternative.

"Burn it," I tell the commander of the squadron, and then head down the stairs. Most of the clones follow me as a handful remain behind to lay down a trail of plasma fuel around the room. Once this is done, they all head downstairs, the last one turning to ignite the fuel. It goes up quickly, engulfing the room quickly with flames. The clones and I vacate the building quickly before the fire spreads downstairs. Just being close to fire now makes me extremely uneasy. As we move away from in inferno, I can feel the death screams of the Jedi left behind, and I stop in my tracks. The pain I will never forget, the pain I wake up to every day and have nightmares about every night is unlike anything imaginable. I know the Jedi is suffering horribly. Oh well- I did give her a chance to surrender.

"Wait for the fire to burn out and then search the rubble," I tell the commander. "I want your men to comb the entire area, within a ten kilometre area," I continue. "Just in case she managed to get out."

"Yes sir," the commander replies as I walk away. I know she is dead now; there is no way anyone could have escaped the inferno we trapped her in. Still, I've learned from the past to be thorough, and have been punished by my master for not being thorough enough. I head to the shuttle to wait for the clones do to their work, vaguely disappointed that I didn't get to cross blades with my foe this time. She may have had allies though- there is still work to be done here.

"Father? Are you okay?"

The sound of my son's voice on my comlink startles me from my dark musings.

"Yes Luke," I tell him. "What are you doing up at this hour?" I ask, realizing that it is well past midnight.

"I had a bad dream about you," he tells me. "I was worried."

The love behind my son's words moves me; but more than that, I feel it pushing the darkness inside of me aside, forcing its way inside my battered heart.

"No need," I assure him. "Go back to sleep. I'll see you soon."

I sense his scepticism, but he says nothing to challenge me. "Okay," he replies finally. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight son," I reply. "Sleep well." I close the transmission and sit in wonderment for a few moments. Even though we've only been together less than a month, the connection between my son and I is already a powerful one. I have no doubt that he sensed the uneasiness I experienced when I was close to the fire- and it manifested itself into a nightmare. He can feel what I feel- the bond that was denied us so long is growing stronger every day. I only hope that my daughter will grow to accept me as Luke has, and that one day she and I will share the same bond.

"Lord Vader, our scouts have finished their search."

I look up to see the commander standing before me.

"Very well," I reply, standing up. "Let's see what we're dealing with."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 16 _Voice of Luke Skywalker_

It takes me a long time to fall back asleep. I heard my father tell me that he was fine, but I can tell he's not. Maybe he's not physically injured, but I know something is wrong, something has upset him. In the short time that we've been together I've come to know my father pretty well, and the connection between us has grown stronger. It's impossible to lie to him – which is kind of inconvenient sometimes. I can never hide my true feelings from him; but then neither can he hide his from me anymore either.

"Luke? Is everything okay?"

I look over to the doorway to see my mother standing there. I still can't believe she's alive, but here she is, checking on me in my sleep like I was a little kid. I like it.

"Yes," I tell her. "I was just talking to Father."

I can tell at once that she is concerned, and it gives me hope. "Is he okay? What's going on?"  
"I don't know what's going on," I tell her. "But he said he's fine. I think he is."  
She nods, more concerned than she shows. "Try to go back to sleep now, Luke," she says.

"Okay," I reply with a yawn and get back in bed. Mother leaves and once again I'm alone in the dark room. I can't help but ponder the impact my mother's presence will have in my father's life. He told me about how dreamed of her death, of how he chose to join the Dark Side of the Force in order to save her. But now that he knows she's alive, now that he knows his master lied to him and used him- how will it change Father? How will having Mother and Leia in his life change him? I've only been in his life for a few weeks, and I've already seen a change in him. With me he is different, he's patient, gentle even. Who would ever have thought that possible of Darth Vader? And yet, I can honestly say that I'm not afraid of him, not in the least. I sense that Leia is still; but in time she will get over that. Once she knows him like I do.

The next morning Leia's belongings arrive, and I'm shocked by how much stuff she actually is. I have to keep reminding myself that she was raised as a princess. I guess princesses need lots of clothes, 'cause she's got more than I've owned my entire life. She seems pretty happy to see her nice wardrobe, but I'm far more interested in the two droids that were among her stuff. We had work droids on the farm, but none of them were ever as cool as this pair. One's a protocol droid, gold in colour, and the other's a little astromech. I want to switch them on so badly but they're not mine, and I have to be patient and wait for my sister to finish unpacking her other stuff. I could be waiting a long time.

"That was nice of your father to send the droids along," Mother says as she joins us in Leia's room.

"Oh yeah," Leia says, as though noticing them for the first time. "I didn't even notice them there."  
Mother smiles and looks at me. "Luke, did you know that your father built See Threepio, here?" she says, indicating the golden droid.

"He _built_ that droid??" I ask in astonishment. "No way!"

Mother nods. "He did," she replies, standing up and walking over to the droids. "He was about 8 when he built him too," she adds, switching the droid on. At once the droid straightens up and looks around.

"Oh!" it exclaims. "I do believe I have a malfunction! I was just sitting in Captain Antilles ship, when…"

"Threepio, you're fine," Mother informs him. "You were sent here with Leia's things. You're going to be staying with us now."

The droid looks at my mother quizzically. "And where am I, Ma'm?" he asks.

"On board the star destroyer Executor," Mother informs him.

"Oh my! An imperial ship!" the droid cries. "We're done for!"

I can't help but laugh at the droid, who seems almost human in its personality. Mother activates the astromech next, and at once the little droid emits a long series of whistles and chirps.

"Oh be quiet," See Threepio snaps. "You're not the only one!"

Mother laughs. "This is Artoo-Detoo," she tells me. "He was in my employ when I was a queen," she adds. "And then flew on many missions with your father in the Clone Wars."

"Wow," I say, amazed that the droid has been in my family so long. "So they must remember him, and you, from back then," I say.

"Artoo does," Mother tells me. "But Threepio's had his memory wiped," she adds. "I think the Viceroy had it done the day you and Leia were born. He doesn't seem to remember anything before that day."  
Artoo emits a long whistle that almost sounds like laughter. I think I'm going to like this little guy.

"Did your father say when he'd be returning to the ship?" Mother asks me as she helps Leia fold and put away clothes.

"No," I reply. "He didn't say. Any idea what he's doing down there?" I ask.

Mother looks uneasy for a moment, and I sense that she knows far more than she wants to say.

"I can't say for sure," she tells me finally.

Leia looks at me, and then back at Mother. "My adopted father told me things about him," she says. "He says that Father hunts down the Jedi. Is that true, Mother?"  
Mother doesn't say anything for a moment, and seems totally absorbed in folding the pair of socks she's holding. "I don't know, Leia," she says finally. "Your father is a stranger to me now," she adds, the sadness clear in her voice. "I can't tell you much of anything about him, I'm afraid."

Leia and I exchange a look, both of us thinking the same thing: our parents are both hurting so much, and need each other. But how do we get them back together after all that has happened between them?

"I'm going to get some lunch ready," Mother says, standing up. She leaves Leia's room, and we are left alone.

"Are you thinking what I am?" Leia asks me.

"I'm not sure," I admit. "But I think so. What are you thinking?"

"We have to find a way to get our parents back together," she says. I nod in agreement.

"I think so too," I tell her. "But how?"

Leia sighs and looks thoughtful for a moment. "It won't be easy," she says. "But I think we can do it. They still love each other, I know they do."

"I agree," I reply. "But after all this time- is that going to be enough?"

Leia shrugs. "We'll just have to make it enough," she tells me, and stands up to hang up the last pair of trousers. "After lunch let's make a plan, okay?"

"Sounds good," I say. I hope she's got some good ideas; when it comes to romance, I'm totally clueless.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I am exhausted. The past three days have been spent in pursuit of the Rebels who are hiding amidst the ruins of the old city. Three days of fighting, of killing, with no sleep and next to no respite. My back and shoulders ache from the exertion, my body cries out for rest. And yet, even still, I know my master will not be satisfied with my efforts. He seldom is, and reminds me often of my errors, my faults. He is due back from his retreat any day now, and I have to be prepared to face him. I must be very careful, even more than usual, for I cannot let him know of the existence of my children. Palpatine must die: there is no other way.

Although the _Executor _isn't exactly a home, it is all I have, and I am glad to be back on board. My mood is foul, and I want nothing more than to return to my quarters to rest. But the moment I step out of the hangar bay, my comlink sounds. It's Luke- no doubt he's sensed my return to the ship.

"How did your mission go?" he asks. "Are you okay?"

"It was successful," I tell him. "I'm fine."

I sense that he doubts me, but he doesn't say so. "Can you come by?" he asks as I step into a nearby lift. "I was hoping we could…"  
"Later," I tell him, cutting him off. "I will come later."

The boy is disappointed, and I feel badly. Being a parent is certainly more work than I'd anticipated. I've barely exchanged a dozen words with Luke in the past few days- and then there's Leia. She and I haven't spoken at all. How do I make it all work and still continue to do my job?

"Okay," Luke replies finally. "See you later, then."  
He ends the transmission, and I stand in the lift feeling like I've let him down. The boy only wants to be close to me; how can I blame him for that? I want that too- but things are far more complicated than I'd anticipated.

I head to the bridge, deciding I need to check in since my second is such an incompetent ass. Ozzel is having an argument with one of the younger officers when I arrive, and looks rather annoyed when I interrupt it.

"Welcome back, Lord Vader," Ozzel says, pasting on his best toady smile. "I trust your mission was a successful one."

I ignore his remark. "Has the emperor been in contact since I've been away?" I ask.

"Not yet sir," Ozzel replies. "He should be returning from his leave soon, shouldn't he?" he asks.

I nod, wishing somehow he would extend it indefinitely. "Notify me as soon as you hear from him," I instruct him. "I'll be in my quarters," I add, and then walk away. I suspect that my master will be contacting me soon. I need to get some rest in preparation for his audience, for I must ensure that I keep all hint of the existence of my family from him. In my present physical state I'm ill equipped to do so.

Stepping off the lift, I'm mere metres from my quarters when I'm met by my wife. Judging by the look on her face, she's not happy. I'm starting to get used to it.

"So you're back," she begins. I slow my pace down to walk with her.

"Yes," I reply. "I returned a short time ago."

"I know, Luke told me," she replies. "He also told me you're too busy to come and see him and Leia."

"I didn't say that," I reply. "I told him I'd be by later."  
"You know Luke adores you," she tells me as we reach the doors to my quarters. "He's been waiting for days to see you, and now you simply don't have time for him?"

"I think he understands," I counter, starting to grow annoyed.

"And you've barely spoken to Leia at all," she continues. "If you want a relationship with your children, you'll have to do better than this."

I look at her for a moment. She's very concerned about the children, which doesn't surprise me at all. I always knew she'd be a wonderful mother. But I have to wonder if she even cares about having a relationship with me.

"Padmé, I haven't slept in five days," I tell her. "And I don't remember the last time I ate. So you'll have to forgive me if I'm not ready to socialize with our children right now. If you'll excuse me," I say, walking past her and into my quarters. She doesn't follow. I sense that she's still standing at the doorway as I make my way to the pod, no doubt annoyed with me for my abruptness. But I'm simply too tired right now to be anything else.

As the mask lifts away from my face, I rub my eyes tiredly. I hate living like this; even more so now that my family is in my life. I hate being dependent on machinery to live. And yet, this is my life. After sixteen years, you'd think I'd be used to it. I doubt I ever will be.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I stand outside my husband's quarters for what seems a long time. The exchange we've just had has left me trembling with anger. I'm doing my best to make the most of this situation; but Vader is making it almost unbearable.

I make my way back to the quarters where my children are, no doubt expecting their father to be coming with me. Although Luke has not said so, I know he's disappointed that Vader is so busy. After being alone for so long, I'm shocked that he's not making more of an effort to spend time with them. Or me. But perhaps the feelings he once had for me have been destroyed by the Darkness that he is so immersed in now. Perhaps he still thinks of me as a traitor, as he accused me of being on that terrible day on Mustafar. If that's true then I'll just have to accept it. I have my children, after all.

Luke looks up when I enter the room, and I can see the disappointment in his eyes when he notices that I'm alone.

"He's not coming?" he asks.

"No, I'm sorry Luke," I tell him. I walk over to where the twins are sitting and put my hand on his shoulder. "He's tired," I explain. "I guess the mission he was on was pretty gruelling."

Luke nods, and returns to his homework. He says nothing, but he need not say anything. I can see that he's upset.

As for Leia, she's still in a state of shock. She is still getting used to the idea that Darth Vader is her father, and, to my knowledge, has not had one conversation with him. How does he expect her to ever accept him if he makes no effort to get to know her?

I sit beside Leia, who's frowning as she reads over her datapad.

"Do you need help with something?" I ask her. She looks at me.

"Why does he want us here, Mother?" she asks me. Luke looks up at once. "I mean – why not put us somewhere secure and post guards to keep us safe. He obviously doesn't care about us, so why does he insist that we stay here?"

I have no answer for her, and look at Luke, whose eyes betray how upset her questions are making him.

"He _does _care, Leia," he tells her. "He cares a lot, about all of us," he adds, looking at me. "He's the emperor's right hand man; he's bound to be busy. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love us."

Leia listens, and then looks back at me, no doubt wondering how I feel about all of this.

"You need to give him a chance, Leia," I hear myself say. "Luke is right, he _is _very busy. And this is all new for him too," I add. "This is a period of adjustment for all of us."

Leia sighs, and looks back at her work, though I know her mind isn't on it. She's as confused and full of doubts as I am right now, but she's just a child. How do I reassure her when I feel the very same way she does?

"He loves you," Luke tells me. "You know that, don't you?"

I smile at Luke. "I know at one time he did," I respond. "I don't know how he feels anymore, Luke."

"I do," he responds confidently. "And I can promise you that he does. He missed you so much, Mother. And now that he's found you alive – wow."  
I know my son wants there to be harmony between his father and me, and no doubt is reading more into Vader's feelings than there truly is. I have yet to see any evidence that he feels the way Luke claims, however.

"Milady, there's someone on the comm. For you," Threepio informs me.

I stand up at once. What more does Bail want me to say? I wonder as I walk to the comm. But it isn't Bail who's waiting to speak to me: it's Sola.

"Padmé! Thank the Maker you're all right!" she exclaims upon seeing me.

"Sola, how did you know I was here?" I ask.

"Bail Organa told me," she responds. "He told me everything. Why is Vader holding you prisoner?? Has he hurt you? Are the twins okay??"  
Clearly Bail has not told her everything, and has left it me to do so.

"Sola, we're fine," I tell her. "Vader hasn't hurt us, and has no plans to."  
She frowns, clearly not believing me. "So…why did he take you on his ship?? What reason does he have to…"

"Vader is my husband, Sola," I interject. "Or he was- he's Anakin," I tell her. "He was injured at Mustafar, not killed like I believed. He's brought me and the twins on board to keep us safe from the emperor."

Sola simply stares at me in shock for what seems like an eternity. I can only imagine what's going through her head.

"How…how can this be?" she asks finally. "Vader is Anakin??? He's Luke and Leia's father?? _Darth Vader??_"

"Yes," I reply. "He's done blood work to prove it, Sola. There's no question."

She shakes her head slowly, a look of what I can only describe as pity on her face.

"Oh Padmé," she says finally. "I…I don't know what to say."

"What's there to say?" I ask, doing my best to maintain control of my emotions. "We're safe, we're together," I tell her. "I have my children back."  
She nods. "Yes, true," she replies. "But…are you happy?"  
"Of course," I reply automatically. "I have Luke and Leia with me, why wouldn't I be?"

She frowns. "Because the man you once loved is Darth Vader," she replies. "I can't imagine how that must feel."

"No you can't," I reply, trying to keep the terseness from my reply. But I don't need this; not when I'm doing my best to make the most of things. "Quite honestly I don't know how I feel myself," I tell her.

She nods, trying no doubt to get a handle on this bizarre situation. "Why don't you come here? To Naboo?" she suggests. "Bring the twins to the lake, I'm sure they'd love it."  
"I'm sure they would," I agree. "But Vader insists that we remain here, that we're not safe if we leave the ship."

Sola frowns again. "Padmé, you _are _his prisoner if you aren't allowed to leave his ship," she points out. I don't want to hear it.

"Sola, please," I say, not even trying to keep the edge from my tone. "You don't need to tell me. I'm very aware of the situation I'm in. But what can I do? I have my children to consider, and, like it or not, Vader can protect them."

Sola nods. "I'm sorry," she says. "I don't mean to upset you – it's just that…this is so…shocking."

"I know," I reply, feeling badly for lashing out at her. "I'm sorry, Sola. I'm just trying to make the best of a very difficult situation."

"I know you are," she replies. "I wish I could be there for you," she adds. "I'm not sure if he would allow that, would he?"

I hadn't thought about that; there's no reason he wouldn't that I can think of. But then again, I can't begin to understand how Vader thinks.

"I will ask him," I tell her. "I would love to have you here," I add.

She smiles. "And I would love to see you and the twins together," she tells me. "I only hope Vader will allow it."

"I can't imagine why he wouldn't," I tell her. "I will ask him, and get back to you."

"Very well," she says. "I'll let you go now, and hope to hear from you soon."

"You will," I assure her. "I promise." I close the transmission, feeling hopeful. Having my sister here to lean on will make things easier. I can't voice my feelings to Luke and Leia; Vader is their father, and I have to do what I can to nurture their relationship with him. But I have my own needs, my own feelings. Having her here to share them with will help make this situation and the transition to my new life easier.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 17 _Voice of Leia Skywalker _

I'm starting to see what a cool person my twin brother is. He's so positive, so upbeat; I can't help but smile when I'm around him. We're pretty different, even though we're twins. I've always had something of a temper, but Luke doesn't seem to get upset about anything. Or maybe he's just better at hiding how he feels. That's something I've never been good at. I wonder which one of my parents I'm more like. I barely know my father, so I can't really say at this point.

"So, what's your idea?" Luke asks me as we finish our homework. Mother has gone swimming in the nearby gym, and our father is busy. I guess.

"My idea?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says, putting his feet up on the chair beside mine. "How do you think we can get our parents to get together again?"  
I frown. "I'm not sure," I say. "Things are more tense between them then I thought. I'm kind of surprised actually," I admit to him. "I thought Mother would be thrilled to find him alive."

"I guess she's still angry about what happened," he tells me.

"Well I guess, but that's not his fault, is it?" I ask.

Luke looks at me for a minute before answering. I get the feeling there's something he's not telling me, and I get a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Luke, tell me," I say at last. "What happened between them? You know, don't you?"

He nods. "Yeah, I know," he says. "Father told me. It wasn't easy for him to tell me, and not easy to hear. But it explains a lot."

"Well tell me," I demand. "I have a right to know too," I add for good measure.

Luke sighs. "Okay, but it's not something you'll like hearing," he warns me.

"I can take it," I assure him. "After everything I've been told in the past few days, I think I can handle one more thing."

"Okay," Luke replies. "Well, it has to do with the day our father was injured," he tells me.

"You told me he was injured by his best friend," I remind him.

"Yeah, Obi-Wan Kenobi," he tells me. "They were friends, but when Father turned to the Dark Side, they became enemies. Father was sent to the planet Mustafar on a mission, and Mother went to him there after Kenobi told her that he'd gone to the Dark Side."

"And this was before we were born?" I ask.

He nods. "Just before," he clarifies. "Anyway, Kenobi came with Mother to Mustafar," he tells me. "And confronted Father there. It seemed like she brought him there deliberately, and when Father saw him, he sort of lost it."

I frown, the cold feeling in my stomach increasing. "Lost it? What do you mean? What did he do to her?"

Luke sighs again, and looks away. "He…he Force choked her," he tells me quietly. "He thought that she'd betrayed him, and…"

"He _choked _her?" I cry, horrified. "Why?"

"Like I said, he thought she'd betrayed him," he tells me. "That she'd brought Kenobi there to kill him. "

I can't respond for a moment. What Luke has told me is just too terrible to even consider. And then I remember something.

"Mother was pregnant when he attacked her, wasn't she?" I ask him.

Luke nods.

I stand up and fold my arms tightly over my chest, suddenly shivering cold. How could he? How could he attack the woman he claimed to love? The woman who was carrying his children inside of her?

"Father feels terrible for that day," Luke tells me. "He's told me so. He says he has nightmares about it all the time."  
"Oh, how terrible for him," I respond bitterly. "That's the very least he should suffer for what he did!"

Luke frowns, not disagreeing with me. "Leia, I know what he did was terrible," he says, standing up and walking over to me. "But there's nothing we can do to change the past. We have to think about the future, and do what we can to make our family whole again. You want that too, don't you?"

I don't look at him, not wanting to think of that man as part of my family.

"Leia, hatred is wrong," he tells me. I look at him at once.

"How do you expect me to feel?" I ask. "He attacked us," I remind him. "Mother as well as you and me!"

"I know," he replies. "But he's sorry, he hates himself for it," he adds.

"That's not good enough," I snap. "He doesn't deserve Mother," I add. "I wouldn't blame her if she hated him for the rest of her life!"

I don't give Luke a chance to respond, and run into my bedroom. I can't deal with this now- I can't stand there and let my brother defend our father for what I think is unforgivable.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Leia's door slides closed behind her as she disappears into her bedroom. She probably wishes she could slam it shut- she seems like a door slammer. I can't really blame her for being upset. I certainly was when Father told me about Mustafar, and part of me still resents him for what he did to our mother on that day. But the much larger part of me knows how he feels, and how he's suffered for sixteen years because of what he did. I know how much he loves my mother – even if she doesn't believe it right now. What they need right now is time to get to know one another again, and time for the wounds of the past to heal. I only hope my mother will give him the chance he needs to do all that.

Mother returns to the quarters as I'm walking over to the food replicator to make a snack.

"Did you have a good swim?" I ask her.

"Yes, it was wonderful," she replies. "You should come some time, you and Leia."

I don't want to admit to my mother that the thought of swimming terrifies me, so I just shrug. "Maybe," I tell her casually. Mother looks at me, no doubt seeing past my act of nonchalance.

"Luke, did you ever learn how to swim?" she asks.

"No," I mumble as I sit down with my snack. "There's no swimming pools on Tatooine," I add.

"No, I don't imagine so," she replies, sitting across from me. "How about if I teach you?" she suggests. "I know you'd love it once you got the hang of it."

"Okay," I reply, not wanting to dampen her enthusiasm. "Does Leia know how to swim?"

"I'm not sure," she replies. "Where is she?"

"In her room," I tell her. "She's kind of upset."

Mother frowns. "Upset? What about?"  
"I…well I kind of told her something that made her upset," I tell her.

"And what was that?"

I look at my mother, hating to bring up that day. I know how she still must feel about it. "About Mustafar," I tell her. "About what Father did to you there."

Mother is silent, but her eyes show me how she's feeling. Clearly she is still struggling a great deal about that day. "How do you know about that?" she asks me quietly.

"Father told me," I reply. Her face shows how shocked she is to hear this.

"And what exactly did he tell you?" she asks, her voice a little more strained.

"That he choked you using the Force," I reply. "That he thought you'd betrayed him," I add. "And that you were injured by his attack."  
She looks at me, her dark eyes filling with tears. "I would _never _have betrayed him," she tells me. "Not for anything in the universe, Luke."  
"I know," I assure her. "And I think he does too, now."  
Mother turns away. "I'm not so sure," she says softly. "Seems to me that we're right where we left off on that day."

I watch her, sensing how she's struggling with her feelings. I keep having to remind myself that for her that day on Mustafar was mere weeks ago, not years.

"Mother, I know you don't believe it right now, but he loves you," I tell her. "He loves you more than anything. I really hope you'll give him a chance to prove it."

Mother says nothing in response, and I can sense in her that she still has very deep feelings where my father is concerned. This gives me hope.

"I'm going to see how Leia is," she says finally, and goes into Leia's room as I return to my snack. Only somehow I don't have much of an appetite for it, and end up just pushing it around on the plate for a few minutes before finally disposing of it altogether.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Leia looks up at me as I enter her room, and I can see immediately how upset she is.

"Why did he do that to you?" she asks me simply, her dark eyes shrouded with tears. "How could he?"

I sit down on the edge of her bed beside her, having no easy answer for her. The truth of the matter is, I don't know why, I don't know how. So how can I possibly explain it to my daughter?

"Your father acted out of anger," I tell her finally. "The dark side had consumed him," I add. She doesn't buy it.

"That's no excuse," she replies. "You were carrying his children," she reminds me. "How could he do such a thing? How could he hurt you that way?"

I look away from her, her questions only making my own more impossible to push aside. "I don't know, Leia," I tell her quietly. "I wish I could explain it to you, but I can't. Perhaps it's your father you need to ask, not me. He's the only one who knows what was going through his mind when he did that."

Leia brushes her tears aside. "I'm not sure I want to talk to him," she tells me. "Now that I know this, I'm not sure how I can ever accept him, Mother."  
This concerns me, for as much as I am struggling with the past, I know that the future depends upon our acceptance of it.

"Leia, I think it's important that you talk to him," I tell her. "I know it's not easy, but he's your father. You have to learn to live with the past, just as I must."

Leia sighs, and wipes some more tears away. She's an intelligent girl, and I know she understands my point. But she's also stubborn, and perhaps so much like her father that getting along with him could be challenging.

"Please try, Leia," I say, putting my arm around her. "For my sake, for Luke's sake."

"I'll try," she tells me at last. "But I'm not promising anything," she hastens to add.

I smile, and give her a kiss on her cheek. "That's all I can ask," I tell her.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 18 - _Voice of Leia Skywalker _

My mother's words stay with me a long time, forcing me to think long and hard about my family, about my father. I can't tell if Mother has forgiven him for what he did; but I know one thing for sure. She loves him. Despite everything, despite the hideous mask he wears, despite all the terrible things he's done, she loves him. What an incredible woman she is, and what an incredible love they must have shared that it survives even still. And it makes me think that if there is a chance to bring my parents together, to build on that love, then shouldn't I do all I can to make that happen?

Deciding that I'm hungry, I get up and go into the kitchen to replicate a snack. Mother and Luke have both been asleep for a while now I think. I feel badly for the way I acted with Luke earlier; I will have to talk to him tomorrow.

As I sit down at the table to eat my soup, the door chime sounds. Surprised that someone would come by at this hour, I tell Threepio to let them in. It's my father.

"Good evening Leia," he says in his deep, kind of scary sounding voice. "I hope it isn't too late for me to come in."

"No, come in," I say. "I'm the only one up," I tell him. Part of me wishes he'd just decide to come back another time; the thought of facing him alone is kind of freaking me out. But then I think of my mother, and summon up my nerve. I have to talk to him; she's right. He doesn't seem to be leaving, so I sit down in the small lounge. He sits across from me, and for a few uncomfortable moments we just look at each other.

"I trust you've been comfortable," he says at last. Obviously he's as uneasy with me as I am with him at this point.

"Yes," I reply. "Very much so."

"Good," he replies. Another few minutes of awkward silence. "Your things arrived undamaged?"  
"Yes, everything's fine," I inform him.

He nods his head, and for a few minutes the only sound is that of his respirator.

"Can I ask you something?" I say finally, unable to stand the silence any longer.

"Of course," he replies, but I sense his uneasiness. No doubt he's expecting some difficult questions.

"Why did you turn to the Dark Side?" I ask him, surprising myself with how even my voice is. "I mean…it made you do such terrible things. I know what you did to Mother on Mustafar; I have to wonder why you'd decide to embrace a philosophy that would enable you to do such a thing to her."

My father says nothing for a long time, and I have to wonder if I'm made him angry. Too bad – I need answers, and, as Mother said, he's the one to give them to me.

"Let me tell you a story," he says at last. "One that began when I was nine years old."

I'm surprised that he's telling me something about his life as Anakin Skywalker, and sit back to listen with interest.

"I left my mother when I was nine," he continues, "to begin my training as a Jedi. I missed her terribly, but was never permitted to visit her."

I frown. "Why not?"

"The Jedi didn't believe in …emotional attachments," he tells me, and I can tell he's angry. "They expected me to forget about her, to move on as though she didn't exist. Which was impossible for me."

"It would be impossible for anyone," I put in.

"Indeed," he agrees. "Ten years passed, and I began to have dreams about her. No, not dreams: nightmares. At first I simply thought they were due to the fact that I missed her so much; but they persisted, and grew more real, more intense. I asked permission to go and see her, to make sure she was all right. I wasn't permitted to go."

I can feel my father's emotions as he relates this story to me- he's still angry, and sad…so very sad. I want to know more, but I'm afraid I won't be able to handle what he has to say.

"Finally, one day, I simply decided to go," he tells me. "I was guarding your mother on Naboo, and there were no Jedi masters to stop me," he explains. "We went to Tatooine, and when we got there, I was told that she'd been missing for close to a month. My dreams were not merely dreams, they were warnings, portents of the future."

I feel cold at this point, and wait in silence for him to continue.

"When I finally found her, my mother had been a prisoner of a group of savage, nomadic creature that live in the wastelands of Tatooine," he continues. "She had been their prisoner for weeks, and in that time they had beaten her, starved her – she died in my arms moments after I finally released her from her bonds."

His story has left me shaken, and I can feel the tears rolling down my face.

"I'm sorry," I say at last.

"There's a reason I told you this," he tells me. "On the day your mother told me she was pregnant, I dreamed of her," he continues. "She was dying. And the dreams didn't go away. I'd learned to pay attention to such dreams, and became obsessed with finding a way to save her. Palpatine offered me a way."

"Palpatine? You mean the emperor?" I ask, not understanding.

"Yes," he replies. "I had known him since I was a boy, and he'd always been something of a mentor to me. When I was going through this crisis, he somehow knew, and began to tell me about the Dark Side, and how a knowledge of it gave one the power to prevent death. I was desperate; I believed him."

"I don't understand," I admit. "Are you saying that you joined the dark side to prevent Mother from dying?" I ask, the idea just too incredible to consider.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," he replies. "Palpatine knew what I was going through, he fed on that, and used it to manipulate me," he tells me, the bitterness clear in his voice even with through the mask. "I became his apprentice, and he sent me to Mustafar to destroy the separatists who had taken refuge there. Your mother knew I was there, and came to me. The moment I attacked her was one of utter darkness, utter madness," he tells me. "Not one I expect to ever be forgiven for. I hate myself for what I did to her, to all of you."

He is silent for a long time, and I'm at a loss for words. I had no idea my mother was the reason he turned to the Dark Side. I wonder if she knows?

"Does Mother know all this?" I ask him.

"She knows about the dreams," he tells me.

"Does she know you turned to the dark side to save her?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies. "I told her on Mustafar- but she was too horrified by what I'd done that she didn't want to hear it."

I don't know what to say at this point. I'm angry, horrified, shocked; and yet I can see the tragedy in all of this. And at the centre of all of this is the emperor, the monster that my father is so anxious to protects us from. Suddenly I'm very afraid.

"It's late," he says, standing all of a sudden. "You need to get to bed," he adds, soundly oddly fatherly.

"Yes, I guess so," I say. I look up at him, seeing him differently now. "Thanks," I tell him.

"For what?" he asks as I stand up too.

"For telling me all that," I reply. "I know it isn't easy for you to talk about the past," I add.

"No, it isn't," he agrees. "I thought you should know," he adds.

I nod, and watch him as he heads to the door. He leaves without another word, and I sit down again, my emotions confused yet again.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I leave my daughter, too emotionally charged to stay any longer. It has been many years since I've spoken of my mother; even Luke doesn't know about her fate. I understand that Leia needs answers; I only hope this has helped her. I really don't know what to expect from her, actually. Luke is so much easier to read, so eager to know me. Leia is much more closed minded. And what's more, she reminds me a lot of myself. That's not a good thing.

I return to the bridge to relieve Piett, who has been on duty for longer than usual. He looks happy to see me when I arrive.

"All quiet, sir," he reports. "The hyperdrive's at maximum power, whenever you want to leave," he adds, subtly asking for orders.

"Good," I reply. "I'm waiting to hear from the emperor before we do so," I tell him. "Still no word from him?"

"No sir," he replies.

This makes me uneasy, and the thought that he already knows about my family flits across my mind briefly. I have kept their presence secret from most of the crew, keeping their quarters and living areas confined to one deck. And yet, Palpatine is devious and cunning. I cannot let my guard down for a moment.

"Have you found a suitable officer to instruct Luke and Leia?" I ask him. Piett is one of only a handful of people on this ship that I trust, and one of the very few who have met my family.

"Yes Lord," he replies. "I've sent a report about him to your quarters. He's young, but unmatched in his knowledge of ship design and mechanics."

"Excellent," I reply. As much as I'd like to teach Luke and Leia everything, I don't have that luxury. This is something that can be taught by someone else.

"If there's nothing more sir, I'll retire," Piett tells me, stifling a yawn.

"Yes, dismissed," I tell him with a wave of my hand. He leaves at once, and I'm left alone to brood. Walking over to the large window, I clasp my hands behind my back and stare out into the stars. I have spent many hours this way, contemplating my life, my destiny; but now things are different. I have a renewed sense of purpose now, and my destiny has become crystal clear: I must kill Palpatine and take his place. And then, finally, I shall rule the galaxy, with my family at my side.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I wake up early, dreaming of the past yet again. It's so difficult to remember the past, the way things were and then wake up to the reality I'm living in. And yet, I must focus on the positives in my life: my children are well, and are with me. They are my focal point, and I can't let other aspects of my life that I have no control of diminish the joy of having them in my life.

Luke is up early and smiles at me as I join him at breakfast.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask him.

"Yup," he replies. "I usually do, actually," he tells me.

"You're lucky," I tell him. "I wish I could say the same."

"Well, you have a lot on your mind," he reminds me. "That makes it hard to sleep I'm sure."

"Yes, true," I reply.

"You know Father told me that he hardly ever sleeps," Luke tells me.

I frown. "How is that possible?" I ask him.

Luke shrugs. "He says he's learned to go for days without sleep," he tells me. "And that even when he does sleep he has nightmares a lot."

I sigh. "Your father has always been plagued with nightmares," I tell him. I consider this for a moment. "I wonder how he sleeps," I wonder aloud. "I mean – how can he with that mask on? Has he ever told you?"

"He has a special pod in his quarters," Luke tells me. "He told me it's the only place that he can take off his mask. He sleeps in there."

So he _does_ take it off, I reflect. "Has he ever looked into having his injuries repaired?" I ask him. "Has he ever talked to you about that?"  
"I've wanted to ask him, but I haven't had the nerve," he admits to me. "You'd think that there's got to be a way," he adds, thinking aloud seemingly. "I mean, clones are made by the millions, and have been for twenty years."

I nod. "I wonder," I say as a thought occurs to me.

"You wonder if the emperor is preventing Father from having his injuries fixed?" Luke asks, reading my mind completely.

I nod. "You've thought of that too, haven't you?" I ask

"Yes I have," he replies. "I know that the emperor is very cruel to Father," he tells me with a frown. "He treats him like a slave," he adds.

I shake my head. "I hate him," I say quietly. "Truly hate him. It wouldn't surprise me at all if that was the case, Luke."  
Luke nods, his frown deepening. "Father should just go and get his injuries fixed," he says. "Screw the emperor."

I smile. "I don't think it's that easy, Luke," I tell him.

"Good morning," Leia says with a yawn as she enters the room.

"Good morning," I reply as she kisses my cheek. "How did you sleep?"

"Pretty good," she replies. "Father was here last night," she tells us. "You were both asleep when he came."  
"And how did that go?" I ask her, almost afraid to know. "Did you talk to him?"

Leia nods. "Yes, we had quite a good talk," she tells us. "I think I understand him a little more now," she adds.

"He's going to teach us how to build a lightsaber," Luke tells his sister.

Leia looks surprised.

"I have no clue how to build a lightsaber," she declares.

Luke smiles. "Neither do I," he replies. "But I'm really stoked about it," he adds.

Leia laughs. "Yeah, I can tell," she teases.

Luke laughs too. Their laughter warms my heart. Today is going to be a good day.

The door chime sounds, and Luke looks over. "It's Father," he says, getting up to let him in. I'm sure he's right.

"Good morning," Vader says as he enters the room.

"I'm sorry I missed you last night," Luke tells his father. "Leia told us you'd been by."

Vader looks at Leia and nods. "We had an opportunity to talk," he says.

"Yes, she told us," I say. Vader has barely acknowledged me, and I find myself feeling left out.

"I need to speak to your mother," Vader says to the twins, and I have to wonder if he's read my thoughts. "And afterwards the three of us will go to the workshop to get started on your lightsabres."

Luke and Leia exchange an excited look upon hearing this and hurry off to their rooms to change out of their pyjamas. Vader and I are left alone, and I find myself both curious and apprehensive to hear what he has to say.

"My men have informed me that a transmission from Naboo was received by this ship," Vader tells me without preamble. "It was traced to these quarters."

I nod. "I was talking to Sola," I tell him.

He is silent for a moment, and indication, I've discovered, that he isn't happy.

"How did she know that you were here?" he asks.

"Bail Organa told her," I reply. "Is there a problem with me talking to my sister?"

"Yes there is," he replies. "Transmissions from Naboo could be detected by the emperor's agents," he goes on to explain. "And arouse his suspicion."  
I frown. Vader's paranoia is really starting to annoy me.

"There are billions of people living on Naboo," I reply in a mildly irritated tone. "How could one transmission possibly be cause for concern?"

"Because Naboo is _your _home planet," he replies. "Because Palpatine is suspicious and mistrustful, especially of me," he adds. "Do I need to go on?"

I sigh. I know he's only trying to keep the twins safe, and I must remind myself of this constantly.

"Very well," I say finally. "When I get back to Sola, I will tell her that we need to find another way to communicate."

"Get back to her?" he replies. "Don't you understand? There is to be _no _communication at all. I thought I made that clear."

I'm very close to losing my patience at this point. "But she wants to come here to visit," I tell him. "I _want _her to come."

"Out of the question," he tells me. "Sola is known to be your sister," he goes on. "Her coming on board my ship would send up a red flag that that would be visible to the entire sector."

I fold my arms over my chest and glare up at him. "And you tell me that I'm not a prisoner," I say angrily. "I can't leave, I can't have visitors, and I can't make outside contact. If that doesn't make me a prisoner, what does?"

"You're clearly unaware of how Imperial prisoners are treated if you consider yourself one," he retorts. "Like it or not, this is the only way to keep Luke and Leia safe. If you wish to consider your home with them a prison, then that is your prerogative."

"Everything okay?"

We both turn to see our children watching us. I don't know how long they have been standing there, but judging by the expression on their faces they obviously know we're fighting.

"Fine," I say, walking away from Vader. "Just fine."

Vader says nothing and turns to the twins. Leia is watching me, however, no doubt sensing how upset I am.

"We'll see you later, Mother," Luke tells me.

I nod in response, and watch as the twins leave with their father. Only when they're gone do I allow myself to cry.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 19 - _ Voice of Luke Skywalker _

The three of us walk along in silence for what feels like a really long time. Leia and I walk behind our father, unable to keep up with his long, angry strides. His anger and frustration are clear to both of us, just as Mother's had been. I knew things were tense between them, but I had no idea things were this bad.

Leia looks at me, giving me a _say something to him _look. I shake my head. _No way_ I mouth back to her. She rolls her eyes in response.

"Here is the workshop," Father says when we finally get there. "Luke has been here before," he tells Leia.

"I don't know anything about building things," Leia tells him.

"Not to worry," Father tells her. "I will teach you." He busies himself looking through cupboards for supplies, doing his best to hide his feelings from us. Leia elbows me in the ribs when Father has his back turned to us. She doesn't seem to understand how intuitive he is.

"Is there something you wanted to ask me, Leia?" he says without stopping what he's doing.

Leia's shocked expression makes me chuckle, earning me a dirty look from my twin.

"Well…no…n-not exactly," she stammers. Her embarrassment only makes me laugh more.

Father turns around and looks at her, clearly not believing her. "Are you sure?" he asks her.

Leia looks at me for help.

"I think we're both worried about you and Mother," I say, bailing her out.

Father says nothing and then turns back to his task. "There's no need for you to worry," he tells us. But he's not terribly convincing. And yet, neither Leia or I have the nerve to say anything just yet, so we don't.

We spend the next few hours with our father, paying close attention to his instructions. I love spending time with my father; he's really an amazing man and knows so much. I can tell that Leia is starting to see that too, and it makes me happy. She seems to be enjoying our time together as much as I am. And as for Father, I think spending this time with me and Leia has helped him get over whatever it was that he and Mother were fighting about.

"Do you still have the same lightsaber you made when you were a boy?" Leia asks him as we start tidying up our tools.

Father is silent for a moment. "No," he tells us. "I've built many, many lightsabres in my life," he adds.

"Why so many?" I ask, curious. "They don't run out of power do they?"

I can almost see my father's smile as he shakes his head. "No, young one," he tells me. "Not at all. I was rather…irresponsible when I was younger," he confides in us. "I lost many, broke many…I became quite good at building them and building them quickly."

Leia smiles. "I'm glad to hear you say that," she says. "I'm pretty bad with breaking things too," she admits.

I laugh, glad once again to see Leia connecting to our father.

"Are you going to teach us about the Force, Father?" I ask him as we start making our way back to our quarters.

"Yes," he replies. "You are both very strong with the Force," he tells us. "It is time for you to learn how to use that power."

"How do you do that?" Leia asks. "Use the force?"  
Father stops walking and sees a small repair droid rolling down the corridor in front of us. He reaches out a hand and the droid stops. And then, to our amazement, it lifts off the deck and into the air.  
"How did you do that?" Leia asks in amazement.

"It's easy," Father tells us as he makes the droid spin around next. We laugh as it starts to whistle in protest. "I will teach you both."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I find myself missing Luke and Leia while they are with Vader, for the quarters are so quiet without them here. And yet, I have taken advantage of my time alone to do some work.

Sixteen years is a long time to be out of circulation, and I've always prided myself on being current and well read. So much has changed since Luke and Leia were born that I barely know where to begin catching up. The Imperial network is full of information; of course most of it is skewed and politically motivated, but it is better than nothing. So I have spent the hours alone reading: reading about economics, about politics, about Imperial policies on everything from education to taxation. Most of the information has left a bitter taste in my mouth, when I reflect on how things once were. There seems to be no vestiges of the Old Republic left in the galaxy, for the Senate is powerless now, the democracy I defended so fervently extinct. But I cannot let this depress me. That is the way things are now, whether I like it or not. So if I'm going to live in this new Empire, I need to arm myself with knowledge and an awareness of the way things are.

The information about the Jedi is what infuriates me the most. Aside from being nothing but lies, it paints the Jedi as utter villains, and places Palpatine in the position of hero for having rid the galaxy of them. When I think of the thousands of innocent beings, old and young, who were exterminated it makes my blood run cold. And how many of those lives did Vader take? How many younglings did he murder?

The door behind me opens, and I know that the twins have returned. I turn off the computer, not wanting to give Vader a reason to berate me yet again. I stand up and turn to greet them, seeing by their faces how much fun they've been having. I smile, forcing myself to be enthusiastic for their sakes. They are both so intuitive, it isn't always easy to hide my feelings from them, and I'm sure there are many times when it's impossible.

"Well, how did you building lesson go?" I ask them. Vader is standing at the door, simply watching me with the twins.

"Amazing!" Luke tells me enthusiastically. "It's gonna take a long time, but Father says we've made a good start already."

I smile at him, my love for him and Leia growing by the minute. I only wish I hadn't missed so much of their lives- but I can't dwell on that now. The past is unchangeable, and I simply have to get over it.

"Excuse me Lord Vader," I hear his comlink sound. "The emperor is on the comm.."

"Send it to my quarters, Captain," Vader tells his subordinate. "I will go there at once."

He leaves us without another word, eager to please his master. The twins seem disappointed that he's gone, but say nothing.

"I think you two have some homework to finish up," I tell them as I start to prepare their dinner.

"_I'm _finished," Leia declares, smiling at her brother triumphantly. Luke makes a face at her and sits down to do his work.

"In that case you can help me with dinner," I tell her. Leia's eyes widen, and she gives Luke, who is laughing quietly, a dirty look. I can only imagine what the two of them will be like when they _really _know each other.

We've almost finished eating when Luke and Leia suddenly stop and look up at each other in alarm.

"What's wrong?" I ask them. I know I'm not the greatest cook in the galaxy, but their expressions are cause for concern.

"It's Father," Luke says. "He's …he's in pain," he tells me with a frown.

"How can you tell?" I ask, hoping he's wrong. "How do you know that?" I ask, looking at Leia.

"We can feel it," she tells me. "Through the Force." She looks at her brother, and I get the impression that they're communicating silently. It's eerie and amazing to witness.

"It's the emperor," Luke says. "Remember? He was going to see him." Luke frowns. "He _always _hurts Father," he says, the anger clear in his voice.

I digest this silently, my hatred for Palpatine increasing exponentially. "Is he okay?" I ask finally. "Where is he now?"  
Leia and Luke are silent for a moment as they seek out their father. I'm astonished that they are so connected to him after such a short time; but then again, they are strong with the Force, just like him.

"He's in his quarters," Leia tells me finally. "I don't think he's talking to the emperor anymore," she adds, looking at Luke for confirmation.

"No, he's not," Luke agrees. His frown deepens. "He's in pain," he says again.

Cold fear begins to blossom in me as I consider what the source of Palpatine's anger could be. Has he learned that the twins and I are alive and living here with Vader? I have to know.

"I'm going to see if he's okay," I say suddenly, standing up. "You two stay here."

The twins seem surprised that I'm concerned about their father, and simply nod in response as I leave the table.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I shouldn't be surprised the my master was able to find fault with me, even though my mission was a success. The Jedi was found, was eliminated; and yet Palpatine manages to criticize me anyway. I suppose I ought to be used to it by now. Part of me thinks he just goes on and on in order to keep me on my knees for as long as possible. The sadistic bastard takes great pleasure knowing I'm in pain, which I am now after kneeling for nearly twenty minutes.

I consider going to the bridge, but quickly decide against it. The pain would make walking difficult, and the last thing I need is for my men to see my limping. Instead, I sit at my desk in the solitude of my quarters and go over the day's log in the privacy of my quarters. Ozzel's entries are always so idiotic- he makes notes of the most insignificant details and often leaves out important ones the greenest officer wouldn't think of excluding. How do I put up with him day after day?

My attention is diverted by the presence of someone outside my door. It doesn't take me long to discern who it is: Padmé. I can't determine why she is here, but my gut tells me she's upset with me about something. I'm getting used to it. Standing up slowly, I wince at the jarring pain in my knees, and walk over to the door. She looks up me in surprise, not expecting that I'd know she was there. She should know better by now.

"Oh," she says, taking a step back. "I'm sorry- I …I don't mean to intrude," she stammers.

"You're not," I assure her. "Though I have to admit that I'm surprised to see you here," I add. "Come in."  
She hesitates, but only for a moment, and then walks in. I watch her as she looks around, as she tries to hide the shock she feels at seeing my austere, sterile living quarters. No doubt she remembers how I used to live, how she'd always have to nag me about picking up dirty socks and underpants off of our bedroom floor. How I miss those days.

I don't say anything as she summons her nerve to say what's on her mind.

"Luke and Leia seem to think you're in some sort of pain," she tells me at last. "They know that you were talking to the emperor, and Luke claims that he inflicts pain upon you. Is that true?"

Her concern surprises me. "Not entirely," I reply, walking over to sit down. "He likes to see me in pain, but he doesn't inflict it- not directly anyway."

She watches me, no doubt noticing the limp I'm trying to hide.

"You're limping," she points out.

"Yes, it's temporary," I assure her as I sit. "Have a seat," I say, indicating the vacant chair.

"Temporary? What does that mean? Did he do that?" she asks.

I look at her, trying to decide if she cares or not. She's here, though – surely that means something.

"He …insists that I kneel when he is speaking to me," I tell her. "And that causes me pain. The prosthetic limbs I was fitted with are not a perfect fit, and whenever I kneel for any extended period of time…"

"Why aren't they? And why haven't had your injuries fixed?" she interjects. It seems all the questions she's been storing up for the past week are spilling out of her all at once.

"It isn't as easy as you may think," I tell her. "I'm sure there are ways to repair the injuries, ways to regenerate the parts of my body that were damaged. But my master won't allow it, Padmé. And for me to pursue such interventions would result in disaster for all of us."

She frowns, clearly not liking what she's hearing. "You mean…he'd kill you?"

"Yes," I tell her. "And then you and the twins would be defenceless."

Her frown deepens, and I can feel the hatred she bears him intensifying. "Why do you put up with him?" she asks, her tone bitter. "How can you after everything he'd done? Why don't you just confront him and be done with it. Kill him and end this once and for all."

"If I could kill him, don't you think I would?" I ask her. "I'm in a no win situation, Padmé, and he knows it. He purposely put me in this suit, he purposely prevented me from being properly attended to medically in order to keep me weaker than he is. The way I am right now, I wouldn't survive a fight with him. He has the advantage, and we both know it. That is how he keeps me subservient. The only way I could kill him is if I were to be whole again."

"But if you try to get help, he'll kill you for trying," she finishes for me.

"Precisely," I reply. We're both silent for a moment. "Now do you understand the hell that I'm living in?"

She looks away, and I sense that she's near tears at this point. "That's horrible," she says softly. "So…horrible. I hate him for what he's done to you," she looks back at me. "To us."

"So do I," I reply. "Believe me, I hate him with every fibre of my being, Padmé."

She looks away again, unable to keep her tears at bay. "I'm …I'm sorry I was so angry earlier," she tells me. "I know you're only trying to protect us. I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did."

"You don't need to apologize to me," I tell her, astonished that she would do so. "After everything I've put you through, I should be apologizing to you every day for the rest of my life."

She looks back at me, and, for the first time, I see something of the old feelings she once bore me in her eyes. "Please tell me that he doesn't know about us," she says. "That isn't the reason he contacted you is it?"  
"No," I reply at once. "He wanted a report on my last mission. He knows nothing, Padmé," I assure her. "I promise you."

She nods, and seems satisfied. "You know we can't live like this indefinitely," she says, standing up. "Sooner or later you _will _have to deal with him. It's inevitable."

"I know," I reply. "I'm …contemplating my options," I tell her.

"Good," she replies. "Well, I'd better get back to the twins," she says. I stand up to see her out, disappointed that she's leaving me so soon.

"Tell them I'll be by in the morning," I tell her.

She nods and looks back at me. "You really care about them, don't you?" she asks.

Her question surprises me. "I love them both," I assure her. "Very much."

She smiles. "I'm glad," she says, and then leaves me.

I stand there, cursing myself for my cowardice as I feel her presence ebbing away. I love them both…and you most of all. Why couldn't I have said that to her? What prevents me from baring my heart to her now as I once did? Is it fear that keeps me from declaring myself to her? Fear that my love will no longer be returned? I'm not sure I could handle that. In fact, I think it would be easier thinking her dead than living without her love now.

Deciding that it's been a long day, I walk to my pod, the only place I can sleep now. I hate it, but depend on it for so much. _We can't live like this indefinitely- sooner or later you will have to deal with him. _ Padmé's words buzz around in my head for a long time before I slip into a restless and much needed sleep.

"_I'm …I'm sorry I was so angry earlier," she tells me. "I know you're only trying to protect us. I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did."_

"_You don't need to apologize to me," I tell her, astonished that she would do so. "After everything I've put you through, I should be apologizing to you every day for the rest of my life."_

_She looks back at me, and, for the first time, I see something of the old feelings she once bore me in her eyes. Not a day hasn't gone by since I lost her that I haven't thought of her, missed her, and wanted her. But in my present state, I cannot even consider that she'd want me. Ironically the very parts of my body that are uninjured seem to be the ones that are unneeded – and yet I'm very much aware of them now as I look at her, as I think about how it used to be between us. _

"_Perhaps you'd better go," I tell her, turning away. "Thank you for your concern."_

_She doesn't leave, though, despite the fact that I've walked away from her. I sit down again, trying not to look in her direction. But she's not going anywhere. In fact, she's walking over to me. _

"_You want me to go?" she asks, standing in front of me. _

"_No," I reply. "But…"_

"_Then I won't," she replies, not moving. "I'm sorry that you're in pain," she says, stepping closer. _

"_I appreciate your concern," I say again. "But you don't need to worry. I'm used to pain."_

"_That's terrible," she says. "No one should be used to pain. Do you remember what I'd do when you'd come home from a mission and be sore or tired?"_

"_Yes," I reply. "You would massage my shoulders until I fell asleep," I tell her. Truth be told, she did a lot more than that. But I'm not going to bring that up right now._

"_Yes I did," she replies. "But I did something else too," she adds. "Remember?"_

_She's killing me now. I look up a her. "Yes," I tell her. "I remember very well."_

_She smiles. "Do you think…would you like me to do that for you now?" she asks, shocking me to my foundations. "It might take your mind off of the pain your in."_

_Take my mind off of it? It would blow my mind…._

"_Padmé, you don't have to…"_

"_I know I don't have to," she says, stepping closer. "But I want to. Don't you want me to? It's been so long since, well, you know," she reminds me with a smile. _

_Sixteen years, five months, eleven days…but who's counting? _

"_Yes it has," I agree, my brain slowly losing its ability to command. "A very long time…."_

I wake up at this point, I always do. This isn't the first time I've dreamed of Padmé in this way, not the first time I've awoken alone and frustrated. But somehow knowing that she's alive makes the frustration even greater. She's alive, but she doesn't want me anymore. And that is more painful than anything that my master could inflict up on me.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 20 _Voice of Padmé Amidala_

It takes me a long time to fall asleep, my mind is so full. I can't stop thinking about the conversation I had with Vader earlier, and I can't ignore the way I felt when I was with him. I love him, I know it, and it's so difficult to pretend not to. But when I think about what he's gone through, about how he suffered…

Getting out of the bed, I decide that I need to know. Part of me is afraid to learn of the extent of his injuries, especially since he's told me that he can't pursue medical intervention. But part of me needs to know. The man is my husband, after all. Under that mask and elaborate breath suit is my Anakin…somewhere. If I'm ever to find him again, I need to understand him. And to understand him, I need to know what happened to him on that terrible day sixteen years ago.

It's early, and Luke and Leia are still asleep. I sit down at the computer screen, trying to decide upon a course of action. As a member of the Imperial fleet, Vader must have a medical record on file somewhere. No doubt it will be difficult to access, with password protection and a firewall. But I'm determined and know my husband well enough to get past his security measures. At least I hope so.

Accessing the medical records isn't difficult. Vader has set up this computer to give the twins and I security clearance in most areas. We'll see how far the clearance goes in a moment.

Entering Vader's name, I'm immediately confronted with a firewall, just as I expected. The computer asks me for a password, and I think for a moment. There are a number of possibilities, but I'm motivated to find it. Clearly Vader would not choose a password that would be easily guessed by anyone in the Empire, which leads me to think that it is something from his past. I only have three chances though before the system shuts me out. I take a deep breath and then type my first guess: Skywalker. _Invalid password _. Okay… let's try this one: Tatooine. _Invalid password. _ Only one more guess. This is turning out to be more difficult than I'd thought. I think long and hard before entering my last guess, changing my mind before I finally type it in: pod racer. I smile as the security screen disappears and the file opens up. My smile soon fades, however, as I begin reading. _ …third degree burns to most of his body…cybernetic implants….massive respiratory and heart damage…_

Tears roll down my face as I read the horrific details of my husband's medical condition. I can't even imagine how he has lived so long with such massive injuries. I think back to what he told me, how Palpatine had him put into the suit without having his injuries tended, his burns left untreated. I've never hated anyone as deeply as I hate him. There has to be a way to make him pay for what he's done to my family. And I will find it.

The door chime sounds, and I start at the sound of it. I've been so engrossed in what I'm doing that I've tuned out everything else. I log out quickly and go to let Vader in. I'm still in my nightgown, but decide that's okay. He's seen me in far less, after all.

The door opens, but it isn't Vader who stands there, rather a young imperial officer.

"Excuse me, Milady," he says, seeming a little embarrassed to see me in my nigthtie. "I was told to report here. I'm Lieutenant Solo."

I'm immediately suspicious, for our exposure to Vader's crew has been carefully controlled by him.

"Who told you to report here?" I ask him. "And why?"

The young man's face reddens. "Captain Piett, Milady," he tells me. "Who received his orders from Lord Vader."

I'm annoyed that I know nothing about this, but the arrival of Vader prevents me from questioning Solo any more.

"This officers claims he received orders to report here," I tell him.

"He did," Vader says. "Come in, Solo."

I frown, more annoyed than before, and step aside to let them in.

"Where are Luke and Leia?" Vader asks.

"Still sleeping," I tell him. "It's not even eight o'clock yet," I add.

"Wake them," he tells me. "And tell them to get dressed. They have work to do."

I frown, not sure I like being ordered around. Solo stands there looking very uneasy, no doubt feeling uncomfortable witnessing the tension between Vader and I . I say nothing, however, and go to wake my children up.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I don't like the way Solo was looking at Padmé, and I'm starting to think that he's all wrong for this assignment. Granted, she's spectacularly gorgeous, with her long hair tousled and her white frilly nightgown….I have to admit that I was staring at her myself. But I'm allowed to. She's my wife.

"Is she the twins' nanny, sir?"

I turn to Solo, realizing that he's spoken. "What?" I ask.

"That woman," he says. "Their nanny, right?"

"No, she is not," I reply, growing more annoyed with him.

"Oh," he replies, and in his mind I see what he hasn't the nerve to say aloud. _Whoever she is, she's damn hot…_

"Padmé is the mother of my twins," I tell him, my tone letting him know he's crossed the line. "My wife."

Solo's eyes widen in surprise but says nothing, for Luke and Leia enter the room at this point. I can sense how curious they are, no doubt wondering who Solo is an what his purpose is being here.

"Luke, Leia, I want you to meet someone," I tell them as they come over to us. "This is Solo," I say, "he's going to teach you everything you need to know about Imperial ships. I want you both to be fully versed in the working of the fleet, and Solo here is very knowledgeable."

"Cool!" Luke enthuses, clearly sharing my interest in machinery. Leia, however, seems more interested in Solo himself than the assignment. This may not be such a good idea after all.

The twins bolt down their breakfast, and then leave with Solo. Padmé has not returned to the room, and I'm about to leave when she does so.

"So who is this Lieutenant Solo?" she asks me. I turn to her, noting that she's now dressed.

"He graduated at the top of his class," I tell her. "He's going to teach the children about Imperial ships."

She frowns. "Can't you do that?" she asks. "You're an expert."

I can't deny that. "I will be teaching them many things," I tell her. "I do have other duties to see to, however."

"I see," she replies. "Perhaps I ought to learn too," she says, to my surprise. "If I'm to live on an imperial ship, shouldn't I have an understanding of them too?"

I reflect on the way Solo was checking her out, and shake my head. "Solo will not teach you," I tell her. "He's…got his hands full with the twins."

She lifts an eyebrow, no doubt disbelieving my rationale. "Is that the only reason?" she asks.

"Of course," I lie.

"Okay then," she replies, not convinced. "What about you? Why don't you teach me?"

The thought of spending time with her and her alone is immensely appealing to me, and I find myself agreeing to it, despite the fact that I told her moments ago that I was too busy to teach the twins. If she notices the contradiction, she doesn't say so.

"I've been doing a lot of reading lately," she tells me, sitting down. "Trying to educate myself."

"What have you been reading?" I ask.

"Whatever I can find," she tells me. "Though I think the information that's in the imperial archives is rather biased," she adds.

"What did you expect?" I ask, sitting down across from her. Images from my dream keep popping into my head, and I have to make a conscious effort to push them aside.

"Information shouldn't be censored," she says. "What's the point of lying when everyone knows the truth?"

"Palpatine has an image to uphold," I tell her. "The lies help perpetuate that image."

She snorts. "He's insane," she says. "To see what he's done to the galaxy is truly appalling."  
"The galaxy has been in bad shape for a long time," I remind her.

"Yes, but at least in the Republic there was freedom," she counters. Here we go.

"Democracy is ineffective," I tell her.

"And tyranny is better?" she asks.

I say nothing in response, deciding it might be better to let the subject drop.

"What else have you been reading about?" I ask.

She hesitates for a moment and averts her eyes, making me rather uneasy. "Well, there is something I read," she says. "I hope you won't be angry with me for doing so," she adds.

"What was it?" I ask.

She looks back at me. "Your medical file," she replies.

I'm too shocked to reply and say nothing for a moment.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I…I just needed to know," she adds by way of explanation.

"How did you get into the file?" I ask.

"Pod racer," she tells me. Of course- she would know.

"Not terribly exciting reading, is it?" I remark.

She shakes her head, her eyes troubled. "I had no idea," she says softly. "Obi-Wan did that to you," she adds.

I simply nod.

She hesitates and then asks what I've been hoping she wouldn't. "How? What did he do to you?"

I look away from her, not wanting to talk about that horrific day. But she has a right to know, and so I push myself to tell her. Padmé listens with increasing shock and horror as I relate to her the way Kenobi mutilated me and left me to burn in the lava of Mustafar. She has tears in her eyes by the end.

"I'm so sorry," she says. "That's….that's just too terrible for words."

I nod. "That is my life, Padmé," I tell her.

"There has to be a way to repair your injuries," she says.

"I'm sure there is," I reply. "But as I told you, Palpatine wants me this way. He knows that in my current physical state my powers are less than his. But were I to be restored- they would be twice his, easily. He's too paranoid to take that chance."

She nods. "I know," she replies. "It's just that…I hate that you have to live like this," she tells me. She looks down at her hands in her lap. "I miss having you in my life," she adds softly.

Her words surprise me. "I am in your life," I reply.

She looks up at me. "You don't live here," she says. "You don't share meals with the twins and I, you don't sleep in my bed," she continues.

"I can't do any of those things," I tell her. "I can only eat in my pod, where I can remove this mask," I continue, "and that's the only place I can sleep was well. If you can call it sleep," I add bitterly.

"I know," she replies with a sigh. She hesitates before continuing, and I sense she's about to broach a sensitive subject. "I suppose you can't do …any of the other things we used to do either," she adds, her face growing pink.

"Are you asking if I'm able to perform sexually?" I ask her, the dream resurfacing in my mind.

"I suppose I am," she replies, looking at me.

"That is one of the few areas of my body that wasn't injured," I tell her. "Ironically," I add. "And is fully functional."

The look in her eyes when I tell her this perplexes me. At first she seems happy- but upon reflection that changes, and she looks away. Immediately her mental shields come up, and I can't read her any more.

"I have things to do," I tell her, standing up. "We'll begin your tutelage tomorrow if you wish," I add.

"Yes, thank you," she replies.

I look at her, wondering what is going through her mind, frustrated that I can't tell. And then I leave her, forcing myself to focus on the duties that await me on the bridge.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

Just when I was starting to think that all imperial officers were boring, homely and totally without a sense of humour, Han Solo comes into my life. I've never felt this way before about a boy- but he's not a boy, he's a man. And I know that if I were to tell either of my parents that I'm completely infatuated with him that my father would transfer him to the other side of the galaxy.

"You know, your dad was the principal designer of this particular craft," Han is saying.

"Really? That's amazing!" Luke replies. He's so impressed by all this; clearly ships and piloting are one of his interests. I've never had much interest in either myself. Until now. "Did you hear that, Leia?" he asks, looking at me.

"Yeah, I heard," I say, ignoring the way my brother is looking at me. He knows that I'm attracted to Han. Somehow he is able to just read my mind whenever he feels like it. It's pretty annoying.

"Your father's one of the greatest pilots the galaxy has ever known," Han says. "It's an honour to serve on his ship."

"Han you don't have to suck up to us," Luke says.

Han looks a little embarrassed. "I'm not," he replies.

"Yes you are," I counter. "Everybody on this ship does, at least, everyone we've met, which isn't a lot of people."  
"I guess your dad is just being protective of you," Han comments. "Can't blame him for that."  
"He's _over_protective if you ask me," I reply. "He won't even let our mother talk to her sister."

Han nods. "Yeah, well the emperor has spies everywhere," he tells us. "Lord Vader is right to be cautious where his family is concerned."

"Well it says a lot about you that he trusts you," I tell Han. Luke rolls his eyes.

_Don't be so obvious. _

I look at Luke, shocked that he's able to put his thoughts in my head. He smiles at me, in that cocky, arrogant smile that drives me crazy.

"How did you do that?" I ask him.

_Just think the words and focus on me,_ he tells me silently.

I frown, and try to do what he described. _You mean…like this? _ I ask. Judging by the look on Luke's face, I've been successful.

Han looks up from what he's doing and looks first at Luke and then at me. "Everything okay?" he asks.

"Yes, of course," Luke and I reply in unison, and then giggle. Han sighs, and I'm amazed that I can read his thought. _I don't get paid enough for this. _Luke and I exchange a look, and I know he's heard Han thoughts too, and we giggle again.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 21 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala_

Han Solo arrives bright and early the next morning to continue Luke and Leia's tutelage. They're both very enthusiastic to see him, though I suspect each of them has a different reason for their excitement. I wonder when Vader will find the time to begin my instruction. The conversation we had yesterday has been on my mind a lot. Obi-Wan Kenobi neglected to tell me what he had done to Anakin on Mustafar; no doubt he knew how I'd react. I can't blame Vader for being so bitter where he's concerned; leaving him to burn the way he did was cold-blooded and cowardly. My husband's life has been one of painful isolation for the past sixteen years, the extent of his injuries almost beyond belief. Unable to eat, to sleep even to breathe like a normal human – it seems even the most basic elements of humanity have been taken from him. Except for one_. That is one of the few areas of my body that wasn't injured, ironically…And is fully functional._ I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he's been with other women- it's been sixteen years after all, and he thought I was dead. Anakin was always a very virile man with very strong needs, and sixteen years is a long time. And yet, I can't help but be jealous.

I shower and get dressed, getting ready for when my instructor/husband arrives. I find myself almost nervous as I wait, for although we've known one another for years, and have had the most intimate of relationships, he is almost a stranger to me now. I was always able to read Anakin's emotions through his eyes, but Vader's mask makes that impossible. And yet, maybe I don't want to see the emotions he feels these days. He told me that he loved Luke and Leia, which contradicts what I know about the Sith. Is he capable of love? Or is having the twins nearby changing him?

I finish my hair, and take a moment to look at myself in the mirror. It occurred to me recently that I'm now forty-three years of age, though I don't look older than twenty-seven. I still feel twenty-seven in fact, and feel strangely cheated that my thirties disappeared while I was in stasis.

My musings are interrupted by the arrival of Vader. Stealing one more glance in the mirror, I stand up and go out to meet him.

"Good morning," he says. He looks around the room we're standing in. "Are the children gone already?"

"Yes, Solo picked them up about an hour ago," I tell him. "Sorry you missed them."

"It's of no matter," he replies as we step into the corridor. "I'll be working with them later today."

I nod in understanding and then walk along beside him.

"We'll start on the bridge," he tells me. "Since it's the control centre of the ship."

I'm surprised he'd take me there; he's been very cautious about who sees me and the twins.

"You don't need to worry about the men there," he assures me, having read my thoughts. "They've all been threatened with their lives not to even look in your direction."

"Oh…good," I say, not sure what else I can say at this point. I know our safety is paramount, but his methods still leave me cold.

We arrive at the bridge and are met by Piett, one of the only officers I've met until now. "Good morning Milady," he says in greeting, giving me a bow. "Welcome to the bridge."

"Thank you Lieutenant," I reply. Piett glances at Vader briefly.

"He's Captain now," Vader informs me. "He succeeded Ozzel just yesterday."

I frown. "Oh? What happened to …"I stop before I finish the question, knowing what happened to him. We walk away from Piett and continue the tour. "What did he do?" I ask Vader.

"He asked who you were," he replies. "I won't tolerate that level of insubordination."

Insubordination? Simple curiosity? "I see," I reply, focusing on the information Vader is imparting.

The men on the bridge are visibly terrified, no doubt knowing their commander doesn't make idle threats. I'm sure that they're also shaken by the sudden death of Ozzel- though judging by what I've heard I don't think they will miss him much. Vader impresses me with his knowledge of each and every station of the bridge; it seems there is nothing about this ship that he's unfamiliar with. Of course, this doesn't surprise me. He's always been fascinated by mechanical devices, particularly ships. At least that much of him is unchanged.

We spend almost two hours on the bridge, and I can almost hear a collective sigh of relief when we finally walk off and head towards the lift.

"Tomorrow we will visit the engineering deck," Vader tells me as we step into the lift.

"Good," I reply. "Your men are very well disciplined," I comment.

He nods.

"I'm rather surprised that you felt the need to keep them from looking at me, though," I continue. "I mean, I don't think I'm the first woman who's been on this ship, am I?"

Vader turns to me. "What do you mean?" he asks.

I sigh. "Well…the women you referred to yesterday," I say, feeling awkward. "Or did you meet them somewhere else?"

"What the devil are you talking about?" he asks. "What women?"  
I can feel my face growing warm, wishing I'd never brought the subject up. "You told me yesterday that you were…sexually active," I remind him.

"I said no such thing," he replies. "I said I was capable of sexual activity."

I frown. "Well….you mean you haven't had …. relations?" I ask, feeling my face growing hotter by the minute.

He stares at me for a few awkward moments. "Why would you think such a thing?" he asks finally.

"Well…you said you _can_," I say, "and sixteen years is a very long time to go without," I continue, "especially given your…rather healthy libido…" I add, wishing at this point that the deck beneath us would swallow me up.

"Listen to me," he tells me, taking me by the shoulders. "There have been no women," he tells me, "there have _never_ been any women," he adds. "You're the only woman I've ever been with, Padmé," he continues, lifting one hand to cup my chin. "The only woman I've ever wanted."

I'm relieved, so relieved to hear this and simply smile in response.

The lift stops, and Vader steps away from me as the doors open. We ride the rest of the way without exchanging another word. And yet, even still, I feel closer to him than I have in a very long time.

Luke and Leia greet us upon our arrival at our quarters, each of them full of excitement and both wanting to tell us all about their experiences. I watch Vader as he interacts with our children, as he listens patiently to each of them as they fight for our attention. There's no doubt that he loves Luke and Leia very much, and it because of this that I feel confident that he means what he says. He _will _protect them from the emperor, no matter what. Perhaps there _is _something of my Ani left under all that armour after all. And yet, the sadness the I feel when I think of how he suffered, when I think of my Ani's beautiful face, his smile, the way he made me feel with his touch…I'll never know any of those things again. Never.

"Excuse me," I say, leaving the room. I'm unable to master my emotions, and I know that all three of them can sense how I'm feeling. I'd just as soon not explain to any of them what it is I'm feeling right now.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

Luke and Leia's enthusiasm pleases me. It is clear to me that they are both very intelligent, and quick learners. They are both such remarkable individuals that I cannot help but feel proud to have fathered them.

Padmé has left the room, quite suddenly and without any explanation. Her emotions and thoughts are so difficult to read now- it's like we're on different wave lengths. Perhaps it's because she is still very guarded where I'm concerned. I can't really blame her for that. And yet, the conversation we had in the lift earlier gives me some hope. The fact that she's curious about my sexual capabilities surprises me, and yet it frustrates me as well. What difference does it make, after all? I'm trapped in this damnable suit, alone and isolated from all human contact. If only there was a way…

"I'll get that," Leia says as the com starts. I turn to watch her, wondering who it is. Probably the bridge looking for me.

"Oh hi Aunt Sola," I hear my daughter say. "It's so good to see you!"

Sola! I walk over at once to the com and lean over Leia's shoulder to address my sister in law. She looks horrified to see me.

"You cannot continue to contact this ship," I tell her brusquely. "You are jeopardizing the safety of my family." And with that I end the transmission abruptly. Leia looks up at me with surprise.

"Why did you do that?" she asks.

"Transmissions from Naboo are suspicious," I tell her. "And suspicions are dangerous." I stand and see that Padmé has emerged from her room, and judging by the look in her eyes, she's overheard the very brief conversation I had with Sola.

"Why did you do that?" she asks me, her dark eyes full of indignation. Leia looks at her mother, and then at me, and then, wisely, leaves us alone.

"It was necessary," I tell Padmé. "For your safety, for the twins' safety," I add. "I thought you understood that."  
She frowns. "I _do _understand," she replies. "But you were unnecessarily rude to my sister," she continues. "If it weren't for Sola I'd still be in stasis," she adds, her indignation growing with each word. "She deserves more consideration than just a few curt words!"

"Giving her a lengthy explanation would only add to the chances of discovery," I tell her. "Can't you see that? There has already been one incident, and now there's two. Each time she contacts this ship she increases the chances that you and the twins will be discovered by the emperor's agents. In light of that, a few curt words seem highly appropriate."

"Well I don't agree," she retorts. I think she knows I'm right, but she's reacting from emotion rather than logic. "I owe her so much," she adds, some of the fire gone from her eyes. "I may have never been revived if it hadn't been for her," she tells me. "I would never have found the twins…"

"I understand that," I tell her. "But there are more pressing issues here than your sense of obligation, Padmé. Surely you see how dangerous a position she's placing you in, albeit unintentionally."

"That's just it," she counters. "She _doesn't_ know," she explains. "If she did- she would never do anything to put us in danger. I just think she deserves an explanation. You didn't give her one. Surely you could have taken thirty seconds to explain to her why her contact is dangerous."

I have no response for her accusation. Padmé has always been a woman of impeccable manners and protocol- I have never been one who cares much for either. And yet, I don't want the progress we've made in our recently renewed relationship to be shot to hell.

"We will find a way to let her know in a manner that won't endanger your security," I tell her finally. "Will that …satisfy you?"

She sighs and looks away, in the way I know means she's considering what I've suggested. I take a moment to admire her as she does so- I'd almost forgotten just how spectacularly beautiful she truly is.

"Yes," she says finally. "It will."  
"Good," I say, turning away. "I'm needed elsewhere."

She follows me. "The twins are hoping you'll be able to work with them later," she reminds me.

"I will see what I can do," I tell her, not stopping. "Probably sometime tonight."

"Okay," she replies. "I'll tell them."

I stop and turn to her. "I'll be back later," I assure her.

She nods, and then I turn and leave the room.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 22 _ Voice of Darth Vader _

I return to my family as soon as possible, anxious to return to them as always. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be apart from them for any extended period of time, now that they are in my life again. It makes me wonder how I lived without them for so long. My children complete me in a way I never imagined possible, and I know that I would do anything to keep them safe. And yet, I know that every day I face the risk that Palpatine will discover them, another day that they are in danger. So long as he lives, my family will never be totally safe. But what can I do? How can I ensure their safety? Only with the death of the emperor will Luke and Leia be secure; and yet I am incapable of killing the old bastard in my present state. Frustration fills me as I ponder this, wishing there was an easy solution to this dilemma, knowing that I will not have complete peace of mind until I find one.

"Good evening Lord Vader," Threepio says in greeting as I enter my family's quarters. It seems so odd to see him here, so incongruous. I can't help but think about how I built him, how I scrounged for scraps from that miser I slaved for. I wanted to do something to help my mother, anything, to make her life a little easier. I wonder if Threepio made her life easier or gave her more stress than she already had.

"Where are my children?" I ask the droid as I walk past him.

"Eating their dinner, sir," the droid replies. "I shall let them know that you have arrived."

"Don't bother," I say, entering the dining area. Luke and Leia look up from their meal, surprised and pleased to see me. Their affection for me warms my heart.

"You're back so soon!" Luke says, dabbing his mouth hastily with his napkin.

"Finish your meal," I tell them. "I can wait."

"No, we're done," Leia tells me, taking a quick drink of her milk. "Right Mom?"

Padmé looks at the twins and then up at me. "I suppose you are," she replies with a smile.

"You're welcome to join us if you wish," I tell her, craving her company as much as my children's.

"I don't want to get in the way," she says.

"Don't be silly, Mom," Leia says as she and Luke stand up. "As if you could ever do that!"

Padmé laughs, and I realize that it has been years since I've heard that melodious sound.

"Very well," she says, standing up. "Maybe you can teach me a thing or two as well," she says to me.

"You never know," I reply, wishing she could see the smile on my face.

After leaving instructions with Threepio to clean up, Padmé joins Luke, Leia and I in the next room, and the four of us leave together.

I find myself nervous as Padmé observes me instructing our children. It's absurd, I know – but it's undeniable. I'm keenly aware of how closely she's watching me, and feel terribly self conscious all of a sudden. It has been years since I've been concerned about the way I look; after sixteen years I've grown accustomed to my own grotesque appearance. But now…now that my wife is here, the wife who remembers how I once looked, I find myself embarrassed.

My mind hearkens back to the way she used to look at me, to the day so many years ago when Padmé and I saw each other for the first time after ten years. I remember how nervous I was- to the point of actually sweating- and how she smiled at me and told me how much she'd grown. I knew in her mind that she was attracted to me- that it was difficult for her to hide how much. I was so young then- so young and full of sexual frustration. I'd given up trying to talk to Obi-Wan about how I felt, for he was so embarrassed and ill at ease whenever I mentioned anything that it was excruciatingly awkward for us both. And so I did my best to live with the changes in my body, the urges and the powerful desires that I felt helpless to control. Those desires magnified a thousand fold upon seeing her again, seeing the woman she'd grown into, desires that have not diminished over time.

"Dad? Is this right?" Leia asks, drawing me from my reflections.

I look down at my daughter's work, impressed by how quick a study she is. "Yes, that's exactly right," I tell her. Focusing on my children now, I do my best to ignore Padmé's presence, something I have never been successful at. As difficult as it will be, I must not allow myself to think of her in any sexual terms. Again, not something I have ever been good at.

"Excellent work," I tell Leia, who smiles under my praise. I turn to Luke next, sensing that he's feeling slighted by the attention I'm giving his sister. "Yours is outstanding," I tell him, picking up the casing he's been working on. I examine it, turning it in my hands. Clearly my children have inherited much of my skill at building things. "You are both remarkably skilled for never having been trained in the ways of the Force," I tell them. "The Force is strong in you both."

Luke and Leia look at one another with a smile. I can feel how happy my words have made them, and it gives me a warm feeling in my heart. It has been many years since I've felt this way, and the feeling is startling in its intensity. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that having my children in my life has changed me. But is the change enough to win back the love of their mother? I fear that my nefarious past is too much for that to ever happen.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Spending time with my family this way is like a dream to me, and even though we've been together for weeks now I still think that one day I'm going to wake up and find it's all been a dream. But it's not a dream. I'm building a lightsaber, with my twin sister, under the instruction of our father. Our father- the greatest Jedi in the galaxy. Or at least, he _was _the greatest Jedi. I know it angers him to think about the Jedi now. I guess I understand that, but I wonder if Father is simply refusing to consider what I think really happened. I think that the Jedi were innocent, and that Palpatine turned Father against them so that he'd destroy them. What I know about the emperor now makes me think that there's nothing he wouldn't do to get what he wants. The fact that he's never let my father have his injuries fixed is just ….twisted. He's an evil, cruel man. So …doesn't it make sense that the Jedi were good if he hated them so much? I would never say this to my father, at least, not yet. I think he's struggling with a lot right now, and I don't want to add to his burdens. A big part of his emotional struggle right now is his relationship with my mother.

Mother is watching us as Leia and I build our lightsabres, and I can sense my father's edginess just having her close by. It's not a negative thing- far from it. I know that he is still very much in love with Mother, but is unsure of how she feels. And truth be told, I think she's unsure too. I'm getting to know her, and the more I do, the more amazing she is to me. No wonder Father broke every rule in the Jedi order to be with her. Mother isn't Force sensitive, but she is still really hard to read. I think being in politics for so long taught her to hide her feelings well. Being married to a Jedi also taught her how to do that, I think. Sometimes I get a strong impression of her feelings, of the intensity of them. But most of the time I don't have a clue what's going on inside of her. Leia seems to understand her more than me, just as I understand Father more than Leia does. We don't have the most conventional family in the galaxy, but we're together now, and that's what counts.

"It's getting late," Mother says after we've been at it for a few hours. "I think it's time to call it a night."

Father looks over at her and nods. He seems to be pretty anxious to get along with her, at least while Leia and me are around. "Yes," he says. "You two have lessons in the morning, after all."

Leia and I look at one another, and I see in her mind she's as disappointed as me.

"Come on," Mother says, standing up. "Time to pack up your things."

"Okay," Leia sighs. We pack up our tools in the way that Father has showed us. He's really picky about that. And when we've passed his inspection, leave with our parents to head back home.

"Can we work on them again tomorrow?" Leia asks Father as we arrive home.

"Perhaps," he replies. If I could see his face right now, I'd be willing to bet that he was smiling. "But it's late," he says. "You need to get to bed."

"Yes, you certainly do," Mother adds for good measure. "Off you go, both of you," she adds, giving Leia and me each a kiss on the cheek. I don't put up a fight, mainly because I'm too tired. Leia is too, and we both head off to bed, leaving our parents alone. I just hope they don't get into another argument. I hate it when they fight.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Luke and Leia have gone to bed. They were both so keyed up from the excitement of the day I hope they can fall asleep. I'm pleased that they are doing so well in their training, and it seems that they're growing closer every day. It's amazing to see, particularly since they've only been together for such a short time.

"They're remarkable children," Vader comments as he sits down on one of the sofas. I'm surprised that he's staying now that the twins are in bed, but decide that it's a good sign.

"Yes they are," I agree, sitting down with him. "They are really enjoying themselves learning from you."

He nods. "I'm happy to teach them what I can," he replies. "They're very gifted, both of them."

I smile. "They're the children of the Chosen One," I remind him. "It's natural that they'd be special too."

Vader doesn't respond immediately. I know that any mention of the past is still difficult for him. It's a strange contradiction that he's so eager to be involved in the lives of our children, and yet refuses to acknowledge the man he was when he fathered those children.

"I don't believe that any more," he says finally. "All that talk about the Chosen One. It's just a lot of Jedi nonsense."

I frown. "Has Palpatine brainwashed you so thoroughly that you forget who you once were? Where you came from?"

He says nothing in reply, but looks away. Clearly he doesn't like what I'm saying, but I don't care.

"I remember who you were," I tell him. "I remember your mother, and how special she was. She knew that you were special, she knew that you were destined to be someone very significant."

Vader remains silent, his gaze fixed on the wall on the other side of the room.

"You were the most gifted Jedi the galaxy has ever known," I continue. "Unmatched, unrivalled by anyone. I think the title Chosen One fits rather nicely."

Vader turns his head and looks at me finally. "That man no longer exists, Padmé," he tells me.

I nod, feeling a lump rising in my throat. "I know," I reply softly. "But that doesn't change who you were. That doesn't erase the memories I have of you, of …him."

"This is who I am now," he says. "I know you want who I was, but I can't give that to you. He is gone, Padmé. Gone forever."

His words hurt me so much that I have to look away from him. I know he's right, but hearing it said so bluntly is just too difficult.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I know you don't want to hear this, but it's the truth."

I look back at him, the tears burning my eyes. "I don't believe that," I tell him. "I think that Anakin Skywalker still exits deep inside of you," I continue. "He's a part of you, no matter what you say, no matter what you believe. If he were completely gone, you wouldn't love Luke and Leia as you do. You wouldn't want to protect them from Palpatine. Would a Sith do that? It's not the Dark side that motivates you to protect them. And if you were completely honest with yourself you'd admit that I'm right."

Vader doesn't reply, just as I expected. But at least he's not denying it. At least he's not angry with me for saying it.

"It's late," he finally says, standing up. "You should get some sleep."

I nod, watching him as he gets ready to leave me. I know that there is so much in his mind and his heart. I just wish he would open up to me as he once did. I _know _my Ani is in there somewhere. I just have to be patient and wait for him to come home to me.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I awaken several hours later, having had a most terrifying dream about Padmé and the twins. We were on Mustafar, Palpatine was there- and I was unable to save them from him or the dangers that surrounded them. No doubt the dream was a manifestation of the fear I feel daily, and my own insecurities about begin able to protect my family. But how can I help but feel otherwise? Palpatine poses a very real and very serious threat to my family. Each day that passes my anxiety grows, my terror of him discovering them grows.

Deciding that I will not rest easy this night until I set eyes on my children, on Padmé, to prove to myself that they are safe and well. I know it's the dead of night, but my uneasiness cannot be ignored. Replacing my mask and helmet, I leave my hyperbaric chamber and head for my family's quarters.

The droids must be both shut down for the night, for neither of them greet me as I enter the room. I head first to the twins' room. Luke is so much like I was at his age that I have to smile as I see him sprawled out all over his bed. Leia is curled up tightly, one finger twisted in her long braid as she sleeps. Watching them sleep elicits such strong paternal feelings inside of me that I need to take a moment to gather myself. And yet, there is a certain bitterness that I can't deny as I stand between their two beds as they sleep. I missed their childhood, those tender bedtimes moments of story telling and goodnight kisses that I recall from my own childhood. Both Padmé and I were robbed of those precious moments, thanks to Palpatine and his lies.

I leave the twins' room and enter Padmé's. She opens her eyes as I enter the room, and looks at me with surprise.

"What's wrong?" she asks immediately, sitting up in bed.

"Nothing," I assure her. "I'm sorry I woke you."

She frowns, and I can tell that she doesn't believe me. "Why are you here?" she asks.

I hesitate to tell her, for now it seems that my reasons for coming here are rather foolish. But she knows me too well to accept a lie. "I …I just had a bad dream and wanted to make sure you and the children were okay."

Padmé looks at me with an expression of surprise. "Really?" she asks. "You came here…just for that?"

"Of course," I reply, walking over to stand beside her bed. "Why would you doubt that I'd do such thing?"

She looks up at me, an indiscernible expression in her eyes. "I…I don't doubt it," she replies. "I suppose I'm just happy that you would."

I hesitate for a moment, and then sit down on the side of her bed. "I hope you know how important you and the twins are to me," I tell her. "Your safety is paramount to me, Padmé."

She nods. "I know," she replies. If she's uneasy with me sitting with her this way, she isn't showing it.

"It's more than that, though, Padmé," I tell her, deciding to take a chance that what I've been sensing from her recently isn't my imagination. "I know I've changed," I tell her. "I know I'm not the man you once knew, the man you married," I continue. "But the love I have always had for you hasn't changed," I tell her. "I love you today as much as I ever have."

Padmé is silent for a moment, and I can sense her surprise at my declaration. And then she smiles, and the expression I see in her eyes gives me the courage to reach over and take her hand.

"I was afraid you didn't feel that way about me any more," she tells me, looking down at her hand in mine. "After Mustafar…I was afraid you hated me for what you thought I'd done."

"Not in a thousand years could I ever feel that way about you," I tell her. "You're in my very soul, Padmé- you always have been. The years I thought you were dead, I was dead inside. Finding you again is like a miracle," I continue, gently rubbing the top of her hand with my thumb. "You give my very existence meaning."

Tears fill her eyes at this point. She says nothing in response, but pulls back the covers and crawls over to where I am sitting on the bed. I can tell that she wants somehow to be close to me, but is unsure how. I help her but putting my arm around her and drawing her as close as I can. Padmé snuggles into my embrace, and allows me to pull my cloak around her.

"I love you too, Anakin," she tells me finally.

I don't care that she's used my former name at this point; she loves me, she still loves me, despite what I've done, despite the atrocities I've committed. I'm astonished and elated at once. And if she wants to call me Anakin, I can live with that. Her love is all I want in the universe. I say nothing in reply to her words, and simply hold her closer, basking in the warmth of her love.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 23 _ Voice of Darth Vader _

I sit on the side of Padmé's bed, watching her sleep. I remember how many nights I would lie awake in our bed, watching her, hoping the dawn wouldn't come. Dawn always took me away from her, and back to the war. While I was with her I could pretend there wasn't any war, for only she existed for me when we were together.

My comlink sounds, and I stand at once and leave the room, not wanting Padmé to be awoken by it. It is not quite dawn.

"What is it, Piett?" I ask as Padmé's bedroom door closes behind me.

"My lord, the emperor demands that you speak with him immediately," Piett reports. "He's waiting."  
The tone in Piett's normally calm voice sets alarms off in my head. And I know at once what is wrong: Palpatine knows about Luke and Leia.

"I'm on my way to my quarters right now," I tell Piett as I make my way to the exit. "Relay his transmission to me there."

"Yes sir," Piett replies.

My sense of dread grows with each step I take down the corridor. How could he have known? I've been extremely careful about keeping them hidden. But…how careful have I been about my own emotions? Has he sensed them somehow? No, I've become an expert at hiding my emotions from him. Having been punished many times for my feelings of loss over Padmé's death, I learned quickly to do so. Somehow he's found out. Perhaps the transmission from Naboo…perhaps there's a spy on board. I will find out soon enough, assuming my suspicions are correct. But I am seldom wrong when it comes to my master.

"What is thy bidding, my master?" I say as I kneel before the enormous holographic image of Palpatine. I can sense his anger, and my sense of dread grows.

"Tell me, Lord Vader," he begins, his tone heavy with contempt. "How long did you think you could hide them from me?"

I say nothing in response, and then feel his invisible vice grip on my already weakened larynx. He knows how delicate my respiratory system is, and has never done this to me before. I know with dread certainty that he is angrier with me than he has ever been.

No doubt knowing I can't survive such an attack for long, he releases me after a few seconds. But the message has been received.

"So, your…offspring are alive," he states sourly. "And I thought they had died along with that slut you married."

"No, they survived," I say at last.

"Apparently so," he replies. "And you didn't feel this fact important enough to tell me?" he challenges.

"I…I was planning on telling you…"I begin, but am stopped by a quick and excruciating burst of Sith lightning. Not enough to kill me, just enough to humiliate me and cause me momentary agony.

"Don't _lie to me!_" he shrieks. "They've been there for weeks! Don't play me for a fool, Vader!"

I say nothing, but lower my eyes to the floor, knowing there's nothing I can say at this point.

"I want you to bring them here," he says finally. And although I knew this was coming, the thought of bringing my precious children to him fills me with dread. But what choice do I have?

"Yes, my master," I say, bowing respectfully, even as a plan begins to take form in my mind. "I will bring them at once."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I wake up disoriented and alone. Was it a dream I had, or did Vader really come to me last night? Now that I think of it, it does seem rather unlikely that he would do so. He has so many responsibilities, so much to do- why would he come here simply because he had a bad dream? It must have been a dream, I realize with disappointment. He declared his love for me, but it was a dream. I get out of bed and go out to make breakfast for my children, deciding that it would be best not to dwell on this any longer.

Luke and Leia are harder to get out of bed than usual this morning, but after several attempts I manage to get them to the table to eat their breakfast. No doubt the fact that they have a calculus quiz this morning has something to do with their slow start.

"Your eggs are getting cold," I tell them as I watch them push their food around in an attempt to procrastinate. The twins look at one another conspiratorially, and try not to smile. "Nice try," I say, unable to keep from smiling myself. "But the test starts in thirty minutes, whether or not you've eaten."

My warning is met with heavy sighs, but the twins start eating a little faster because of it.

The door to our quarters opens, and Vader enters the room.

"Good morning," I say to him as he walks over to the twins and I.

"Good morning," Vader replies.

"You're here early, Dad," Luke says.

"We have to write a math test this morning," Leia reminds him.

"That will have to wait," Vader tells them. "There's something more important you have to do."

Luke and Leia smile, clearly pleased to hear this.

"What's going on?" I ask, a little alarmed by his down-to-business demeanour. "They've been preparing for this quiz for…"

"Something has come up," Vader interrupts. "Something that cannot be delayed."

"What's that?" Leia asks.

Vader turns to her. "We're on our way to rendezvous with the emperor's ship," he tells her. "He has asked to meet you."

Time slows down and then freezes completely for the few seconds that it takes me to register what he has just said. And during this time I pray that, once again, I'm dreaming. But this is no dream- it's a nightmare.

"What are you saying?" I demand. "He has _asked to meet _them? How does he even know they're here?"  
"I don't know," Vader replies. "But he knows. Perhaps because of your sister's contact with the ship, I don't know," he continues. "But he knows, and he's ordered me to bring Luke and Leia to him. And that is what I must do."

I'm sure the look on my face must betray the horror I feel. "You….you promised me that you'd protect them from Palpatine!" I cry. "And now you're just going to _bring _them to him?"  
"What would you have me do, Padmé?" he asks. "Have him come here and take them? Have him kill me for refusing his orders?"

Luke and Leia are on their feet by now, watching the exchange between their father and I. I can see the fear in their eyes, but more than that, I can see their disillusionment.

"Dad, what's he going to do to us?" Luke asks.

Vader turns to him. "I don't know," he replies. "But we will rendezvous with his ship in less than an hour, so you need to get dressed. Go now."

The twins exchange a worried, look, and then look at me briefly before hurrying to their room to get dressed.

"How could you do this to them?" I say once they have left. "You promised to protect them!"

"Haven't we already had this discussion?" he replies. "There's nothing to be done. Accept it."

I can't believe what I'm hearing, and curse myself for ever trusting him. How could I have believed him? How could I have thought he'd changed?

"If you do this, I will _never _forgive you," I say finally. "This is far, far worse than what you did to me on Mustafar," I add.

He says nothing in response, which only adds to my anger.

The twins emerge from their room at this point and walk over to me. I can see in their eyes how afraid they are.

"Mom, what's going to happen to us?" Leia asks, doing her best to be brave.

I take her face in my hands. "I don't know," I tell her, my own fear threatening to overwhelm me. "I wish I did."

"It'll be okay," Luke says, putting his arm around Leia. "Dad won't let anything bad happen to us, right Dad?" he asks, looking over at Vader.

Vader says nothing, making the twins' anxiety skyrocket. I put my arms around them both and hug them tightly. I feel helpless, for there is nothing I can do to stop this, nothing I can do to stop Vader from doing this.

"Let's go," Vader says finally.

I release the twins and kiss them each on the cheek. Looking over at Vader, I feel myself fill with hatred for him. I hope he knows what I'm feeling, I hope he knows how much I hate him for this.

"You monster!" I cry after the twins leave me. "I hate you!"

If Vader cares, he doesn't show it, and simply leaves the room, Luke and Leia following behind him.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I watch my father as Leia and I follow him along the corridor. I can't read him, not even a little, and that more than anything scares me. He's never closed himself off from me this way, not since he found me in the Academy all those weeks ago. But right now, he's completely unreadable. I look at Leia, her feelings open and clear to me. She's terrified, and as confused as I am about our father's motives. She turns and looks at me, and I can see how close she is to tears.

_Why is he doing this?_ She asks me silently.

_I don't know, _I tell her. _I can't read him at all._

_Neither can I. I'm really scared, Luke. I'm afraid we're going to die._

I frown, not wanting to entertain that possibility. I reach out and take my sister's hand. _ We're not going to die,_ I tell her. _Got it? _

_Got it,_ she replies, but I know she doesn't believe me. I don't blame her- I don't really believe that myself.

Father brings us to one of the ship's enormous hangars, and onto his personal shuttle. He doesn't speak to us at all, which is odd for him. He must be preparing himself for the meeting with his master. I have to admit that I'm a little curious to meet Palpatine. Scared, but curious.

"Do not speak to the emperor unless he asks you a question," Father tells us as we sit down in the passenger lounge. It's the first words he's spoken since we left Mother. I have to wonder how he felt hearing her tell him that she hates him for doing this. I know how much he loves her, how much he's craved her forgiveness. But how can he expect her to forgive him now?

"Why are you bringing us to him?" Leia asks him finally. "I thought you wanted to keep us safe."

Father looks at her, but says nothing. "I have no choice," he says finally, looking away again.

Leia frowns, reminding me very much of Mother as she does so. "There's always a choice," she says quietly. "At least, that's what my fath…what the Viceroy always used to say."

I sense a brief surge of anger from Father at the mention of Leia's adopted father, but he doesn't respond to her remark. Instead he stands up and walks over to the navi-computer to see how close we are. Leia and I can only wait and pray that we'll see our mother again soon.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

I don't think I've ever been so scared in my whole life as I am right now. The security guards that meet us in the hangar bay are all dressed in red from head to toe, their faces masked. They're pretty intimidating, which I'm sure is the whole idea. Father ignores them as we walk past, probably used to them. I don't think there's too much he's afraid of- but the emperor is one thing I know scares him. Maybe not so much the man himself, but what he could do to Father if he wanted to. And us. I'm so confused that we're here- Father promised he'd protect me and Luke so why are we here? Why is he bringing us right to the one person he's been trying to hide us from for weeks now? I look at Luke as we walk through the ship, wishing I could be as brave as he appears to be. I know he's as scared as I am right now, but he doesn't show it. He looks at me, no doubt sensing that I'm thinking of him, and smiles at me. My heart aches I love him so much. I can't even imagine my life without him now. I just hope our lives are allowed to continue. I just hope we aren't spilt up again…or worse.

"Remember what I said," Father says as we stop into the lift. "Say nothing unless he asks you a direct questions."

Luke nods his understanding. He's as disappointed and disillusioned as I am right now- probably even more so. He's told me about how he dreamed of knowing our father when he was a little boy- I know how much he idolizes Father. Right now he feels betrayed. I don't blame him- so do I.

We are getting closer to the emperor, I can tell in two ways. One, the number of red robed guards has increased. They seem to be everywhere now, just standing there holding their long pikes. The other way I can tell he's close is the Force is…different here. It's hard to describe, but it's like the stench of garbage has filled air, only it's not a smell, it's a feeling. I know that doesn't make sense, but that's what it makes me think of. There's a great deal of fear in his aura, as well as hatred. Being close to him is like being in hell- for I'm sure that's what it must be like.

Father stops in front of a huge set of blast doors and keys in the security code. He takes a moment, and looks once more at me and Luke without saying a word. Luke turns to me and smiles again. His smile isn't quite as easy this time, though. He reaches out and takes my hand, and I'm grateful for his support. The doors open slowly, and we follow Father into a low lit room. It's huge, windowless, and stinks of death. At the far end of the room is a dais, and on it is an enormous throne. And on the throne sits the thing that my father calls Master.

"Welcome, young ones," he asks his voice sending shivers up my spine. "Welcome. Please, come in, come in!" he sounds almost jovial, like he's inviting in old friends for tea and cookies. Does he really think we're happy to be here? He must be truly as insane as Mother says he is if he thinks so. We walk closer, and I soon get a glimpse of Palpatine's hideous face under his deep hood. His skin is the colour of mould, his eyes yellow and beady. I feel myself wanting to vomit just from being close to him. Not to mention the stench of him.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you both," he says with a smile, His teeth are black and rotten. I guess oral hygiene isn't high on his list of priorities. Neither Luke or I say anything, but glance at our father briefly. He is standing behind the emperor's throne watching us. I hate the fact that he's physically separated himself from Luke and me. The fact that I can't read him at all only makes this worse, and I have to fight to keep from crying.

"You don't need to be afraid," Palpatine says, no doubt reading my mind. "You're safe here, Leia."

I look back at him, doing my best to keep the hatred from my eyes. He smiles at me, and I want to vomit.

"You know, I have known your father ever since he was a young boy," he tells us. "Much younger than you, in fact. And I knew your mother as well. So you see, I'm like part of your family already."

I want to roll my eyes, but I figure that would be a bad idea. I wish I knew what was going on in Father's mind right now, but he's completely shut himself off from us.

"We will be getting to know each other very well," Palpatine continues. "You have both inherited your father's skills, I can feel it in both of you," he says. "With the proper training you will both make excellent Sith, even better than your father. He would have been very powerful, but for his accident. You, on the other hand, are both young, and strong," he tells us with a smile that makes my skin crawl. "Once you've been trained, you can take your father's place," he goes on. I look up at Father in alarm. Did he know that his was his plan all along? Does he feel as betrayed as he ought to?

"Neither of us will replace our father," Luke speaks up. "So training us to be Sith is a waste of time."

I can't believe Luke's guts! I look at him, smiling at him encouragingly. The emperor, however, is not pleased.

"Such…insolence will only be overlooked once, young Skywalker," he warns, his tone far less congenial. "Soon you will both come to realize that your father's failures will be the building blocks for your own journeys."

I know what he's doing- he's trying to get us angry. I know that the Dark Side is steeped in anger, and hatred. He's goading us- he _wants _us to be angry, to hate him. But why? I'm so confused! I look up at Father, unable to keep my tears from starting at this point.

"Our father is not a failure," I say, shocking myself with my boldness. "And if you think we will betray him, you…"

"Silence!" the emperor shrieks, standing up from his throne. He takes a step towards Luke and me, and we step back. He's truly crazy- I can see that now. "Insolent brats!" he snaps, walking towards us threateningly. "You _will _serve me! Just as your father did! Just as he will do until the day he dies!"

"Not quite _that _long," Father says, and before any of us know it, the red blade of his lightsaber is jutting out of the emperor's chest. Palpatine screams in agony, looking down at the blade in utter shock. Only know do I understand my father's actions, and I realize what a truly brilliant man he is. Palpatine gasps as father pulls his blade out, and collapses to his knees as the life drains from him quickly.

"Not quite that long," Father says again as he comes around to face his master. "You will never rule me again," he says, holding the tip of his blade to Palpatine's throat. "And you will _never _harm my children," he adds. And with one quick slash he cuts off the emperor's head. It goes rolling across the floor as his decapitated remains slump to the floor. Father turns to Luke and I now, the mental shields he's held so tightly in place crashing down as easily as the lightsaber he discards to the floor. He opens his arms to us, and Luke and I rush to him, our relief spilling out of us as we embrace our father.

"I'm sorry," he says over and over. "So sorry I had to put you through this," he tells us, stroking my hair fondly. "But there was no other way. If I'd told you my intentions, then he would have known."

"And be ready for your attack," Luke puts in. "It was brilliant, Dad, just brilliant!"  
Father is smiling, I know he is as he tousles Luke's hair. "Yes, well now we need to get off this ship," he says. "_That _will be true brilliance." He stands up and reaches under his cloak. "Think you two can make use of these?" he asks, handing us each a lightsaber.

"I think we can manage," Luke says with a grin as we each take a weapon. "What's the plan?"

"The plan is to get back to the hangar," Father tells us. He looks around the room. "But first," he says, reaching out and using the Force to crush the security cameras in the room. "That should buy us some time," he says. "Let's go."

We leave the throne room and are met by two guards. Father says nothing to them, not giving them any reason to suspect that something is wrong. I can feel his tension as we try not to run to the lift.

"What do we do now?" I ask Father as the lift carries us upwards.

"You both must be prepared to kill without a second thought," he tells us. "Anyone and anything that gets between you and that hangar. Once we're there, I can get us off the ship. Piett will take it from there."

"You mean he was in on this plan?" Luke asks.

"Yes, he's the only man on board I'd trust with it," Father tells us.

"Why didn't you tell Mother?" I ask him. "She must be terrified."  
Father is silent, and I can sense his anguish. "It was necessary not to," he replies. "If she knew, then you'd sense her emotions and not be afraid. It was necessary for you to both be afraid. She'll understand soon enough."

We reach the hangar deck, and are halfway to the bay when we hear the sound of an alarm going off. They've found the emperor.

"Run, both of you," Father instructs as clones start to emerge from no where. "Run!"

I don't want to leave Father, but Luke grabs my hand and we bolt for the hangar. I turn back to see Father sending clones flying against the bulkheads and slicing through them with his sabre. We reach the hangar bay and are met inside by a handful of clones who try to stop us. Without even thinking about what we're doing, Luke and I slash through them, using the Force as our father has taught us to do. We dispatch of them quickly and run into the shuttle. Luke quickly finds the weapons controls and easily pegs off any other clones who try to board the shuttle.

"Where's Dad?" I cry, looking at the hangar bay door anxiously. "We can't go without him."  
"Of course not," Luke replies, a little annoyed. "Get ready to take off as soon as our father gets on board," he tells the pilot. We watch for Father, and soon enough he appears. He walks to the shuttle, cool as anything, and Luke and I smile.

"He's _so_ cool," Luke says, shaking his head. I can't help but agree with him on that.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

The officers on the bridge seem rather uneasy to see me in their midst, but I don't care. I can't take my eyes from the huge ship outside the view screen, my mind refusing to stop imagining what is going on there. I feel so betrayed, so …disillusioned. My precious children are now in the hands of my greatest enemy, handed over to him by their father. There can be no good outcome here- and I have to wonder what I could have done differently to prevent this from happening.

"Milady, I will let you know the moment we…"  
"Piett, I'm not going anywhere," I tell the captain.

He sighs, and looks anxiously over at the ship. I get the feeling he knows more than he's letting on, and that only makes me feel angrier.

"Piett, it's time."

I hear Vader's voice on the comm., and look over at Piett.

"Right away sir," Piett replies. He looks over at the weapons' officer and nods, and at once the men leap into action.

" What's going on?" I ask. "Someone tell me what's going on!"

"Watch and see," Piett replies with a small smile. I turn to the screen and watch as a shuttle comes hurtling towards us.

"Tractor beam," Piett commands, and at once the shuttle is captured and pulled towards us.

"Do you have the prefix code?" Piett asks one officer.

"Yes sir, pulling it up now," the man replies. "Relaying it to tactical."

Piett nods. "Stand ready on all weapons," he orders. "As soon as their shields are down, open full fire." He looks at me. "They won't get a shot away, Milady," he assures me. "We've seen to that."

My shock must be evident on my face and Piett chuckles. "Surely you didn't think Lord Vader would hand over your children to the emperor without a plan," he says.

"I…I have no idea what to think," I admit. It happens so quickly, and before I can ask another question, the emperor's ship explodes in a spectacular display.

"Shields!" Piett shouts just in time. The explosion rocks the ship, but the shields prevent any major damage.

"Shuttle bay eight reports Lord Vader has arrived on board," one officer reports. I look over at him, and then at Piett.

"I'm sure the twins are most anxious to see their mother," Piett says.

I nod, still too shocked by what has happened to say anything. I run off the bridge and down to the lift, the reality of what has happened hitting me finally. Luke and Leia are safe. And Palpatine is dead. Thank the Maker, the monster is dead.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 24 – _Voice of Darth Vader _

The feeling of relief as I step into the hangar of my ship is indescribable. My family is safe, Palpatine is dead. At last, I am free.

Padmé rushes into the hangar, no doubt anxious to see Luke and Leia. I have to wonder if she'll ever forgive me for what I put her and the twins through. Hopefully she'll understand why I needed to do what I did, and why I couldn't tell her anything about my plans. I watch as she embraces Luke and Leia tightly, kissing them each repeatedly. She glances in my direction, but then returns her attention at once to the twins. I suppose if she's going to forgive me it will be on her terms, and I have far too much to deal with right now to beg.

"Welcome back, Lord Vader," Piett says with a smile. "Mission accomplished?"

"Yes," I reply. "Excellent work, Captain," I say. "Worthy of promotion to Admiral, I dare say."  
Piett's eyebrows shoot upward. "You honour me, my lord," he says with a bow.

"Don't start with the boot licking, Piett," I tell him as I start towards the exit. "We have a lot of work to do."

"Yes indeed we do, sir," he agrees, hurrying to catch up with me. "I've contacted the squadron leaders, as you ordered, sir."

"Good," I reply, pleased with his work. "Arrange a holo-conference at once. And then…"

"Anakin wait."

I stop, ignoring the surprised look on Piett's face, and turn around. Padmé is running over to me. I brace myself for whatever is going to come out of her mouth this time.

"I'll meet you in the auditorium," I tell Piett, who nods and then hurries on his way.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were doing?" Padmé asks me once we're alone.

"Because you needed to feel the way you did so that the twins would feel the way they did," I reply. "And their feelings were critical to my plan."

She nods, hopefully understanding. "I…I want to thank you," she says, clearly not knowing what else to say. "I'm very grateful."

I frown under my mask. "Grateful?" I ask. "Luke and Leia are my children too, Padmé," I remind her. "I don't need to be thanked for protecting my own children," I say, and then turn and leave her. It seems that things are back to square one with her- or pretty close to it.

I head for the exit of the hangar. There is much I need to do in order to keep the Empire stable in the wake of Palpatine's death. I suppose I'm emperor now- it seems strange to think of myself that way. I have thought this through carefully, however, and have plans to keep things from getting out of hand. I've been watching Palpatine for nearly two decades, and know that there are many things I will change.

"Anakin wait," Padmé says again. I've almost reached the exit, and stop once more, and turn back to her.

"Padmé, there's a great deal I have to take care of," I tell her. "Time is of the essence."

"I know," she replies. "I…I'm sorry," she says. She reaches out and takes one of my hands in hers. "For what I said earlier," she continues. "I should have known you'd never do anything to put the twins in danger, and I'm sorry for doubting you."

Her words are all I need to make this triumph complete. I lift one hand to her face and touch it lightly. "Given the past, I'm not surprised you would," I tell her. "But thank you."

She smiles. "What can I do to help you?" she asks.

"Help me?" I ask.

"Well, I am the empress now, after all, aren't I?" she asks.

I nod. "Yes, I suppose you are," I reply.

"Tell me what you need," she asks.

I smile at the unintentional double entendre, and lift my other hand to hold her face. "Do you really want me to answer that?" I ask her.

Padmé's eyes widen, and then she blushes. "You know what I mean," she replies with a smile.

I think for a moment, realizing for the first time that I am now free to have my injuries repaired. And once that happens…

"Find a hospital who can fix all this," I tell her. "That's what I need you to do."

She nods. "I can do that," she replies. "With pleasure," she adds.

"Thank you," I say. "Now I need to get to work."

"Okay," she replies as I release her. "I'll do the same."

I nod, and then turn and leave her, my spirits buoyed by her love.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I watch Vader leave, happy that I'd made the effort to reach out to him. It seems that he's got this all planned out, which is a good thing. From what I've learned about the Empire there are several bureaucrats more than eager to take advantage of the change in leadership. If I know my husband, he'll leave nothing to chance, and make sure that everything is well taken care of.

"Where did Dad go?" Luke asks as he and Leia join me.

"He has a lot of work to do," I tell him. "He has an Empire to run now, remember?"

"That's right," Leia says. "I guess I'm Princess Leia again," she adds with a grin.

"Your highness," Luke says with a courtly bow. Leia laughs and shoves him playfully.

"Tell me what happened on the emperor's ship," I say to the twins as we leave the hangar. "I need to know what went on."

Luke and Leia relate to me what transpired after they left me earlier today. I listen in astonishment to their story, relishing the movement when Vader killed Palpatine. I still can't believe he's truly gone.

"Mom, won't Dad be in trouble for killing the emperor?" Luke asks me. "I mean, he _was _ the emperor after all."

"Perhaps if he was anyone but Darth Vader," I reply. "Your father is far too powerful for anyone in the Empire to challenge him or his actions," I add. "Right now he's putting his plans of succession into place," I tell them.

"He can have the surgery to fix his injuries now, can't he?" Leia asks. "It was only Palpatine that was preventing it, after all."

I nod with a smile. "That is my job," I tell them as we reach home. "Your father has asked me to find a hospital that will attend to his injuries. Perhaps you two can help. With three of us looking, we're bound to find one soon."

"You don't need to ask me twice," Luke quips as he runs to the computer. I smile. Things are definitely looking brighter than they have in a long time.

As Luke and Leia scour the Imperial holonet for medical resources, I can't help but wonder what is going on elsewhere on the bridge. I've told my son that there would be no repercussions of Vader's assassination of the emperor- but is that really true? If the clones are programmed to serve the emperor, how will Vader transfer that loyalty to himself now? Is it even possible? I harbour a small hope that out of all this mess a new and better Empire will emerge, one that isn't based on oppression and tyranny. Vader told me once that he wanted me to rule the galaxy with him- does he still feel this way? And will he listen to the ideas that I have to put an end to the strife and conflict that the Empire has been rife with for the past sixteen years? Time will tell, I suppose.

"Mom, come and take a look at this!" Leia calls excitedly. I walk over at once to see what they've found.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

The fact that the clones have been genetically programmed to be loyal to the emperor has both its advantages and its disadvantages. It has meant for the past sixteen years that Palpatine could do whatever he wanted, for he had unlimited military support. No one dared to challenge him, except for the rag-tag collection of rebel scum who have been stirring up trouble lately. It is my task to transfer that loyalty to me, now that I am emperor.

Of course, having my own legion of elite troops does help matters. Having communicated with the commanders of the squadron, I have tasked them with relating to the rest of the clone army the change in leadership. Clones don't think for themselves, so I don't foresee a problem in gaining their loyalty. The real challenge will be the power hungry politicians who have been jockeying for position since the Empire's creation. Men like Grand Moff Tarkin and his ilk will require the special attention of my elite troops. I have no intention of making deals with anyone- I'm in command now, and there's no room in my plans for such men.

"Lord Vader, Captain Rex is on the comm.," Piett informs me. "He's awaiting your orders."

I know Rex well, and have no concerns about the mission I'm tasking him with. "Put him through," I tell Piett and walk over to the computer station.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker_

It's late, and Leia and I are in our beds. I'm not sure how long we've been lying here, but I know she's finding it as hard to fall asleep as I am. The events of the day keep running through my mind. I can hardly believe that the emperor is dead- but he is. Father killed him, we saw it happen. I have to admit that seeing Father like that was a little scary. I could feel the darkness surging through him as he drove his lightsaber through the emperor's chest. The hatred he felt at that moment was stronger than anything I've very felt. I can't imagine how Father served Palpatine for so long knowing how much he hated him.

"Luke? You sleeping?" I hear Leia's voice whisper in the dark.

"No," I reply. "I can't sleep."

"Me neither," she replies. She's silent for a moment. "What do you think is going to happen now?" she ask.

"Dad's going to take over the Empire," I tell her, even though I know that's not what she's asking.

"Dad can get his injuries fixed now," she reminds me. "I can't even imagine what that will be like."

"It'll be awesome," I reply. "He'll be able to live a normal life again."

"Yeah," she replies. "Luke, do you think he will turn back to the good side now that the emperor is dead?" she asks.

I can't answer her. This is the very question I've been asking myself for hours now. I wish I could say yes- but the anger and hatred that I sensed in our father makes me worry that he is still very much immersed in the dark side.

"I hope so, Leia," I tell her finally. "I know Mom is counting on it. But… I can't say."

Leia is silent, but I can sense her feelings. She's as worried as me.

"Luke, I don't want to become a Sith," she confides in me at last.

"Neither do I," I reply. "But how do we tell Dad that? He wants us to become his apprentices. He's counting on us to become like him, I know he is."

"That would kill Mom," she points out. "Doesn't he get that?"

I frown in the dark. "I don't think he gets too much where she's concerned," I rely.

"You'd think after everything he's put her through, he'd be doing everything he can to make her happy," Leia comments. The bitterness is clear in her voice.

"The Dark Side makes people selfish, Leia," I tell her. "I know Dad loves Mom, but so long as he's still a Sith, I don't think he can make her truly happy."

"No he can't," Leia agrees. I hear her yawn. "Goodnight Luke," she says sleepily.

"Night Leia," I reply. "Love you sis."  
"Love you too."

At breakfast the next morning it looks like Mom hasn't slept much either. She seems excited and anxious at the same time. I guess she's been doing a lot of thinking too.

"I wonder what Dad's doing," I say, trying to get Mom to talk. She looks up at me.

"He had a very full schedule," she tells us. "From what I understand, he has a lot of things to put in place to keep things stable."

"Can we ditch classes today to help you search the holonet some more?" Leia asks.

Mom smiles. "Well, normally I don't condone missing school," she replies. "But I could use the help. There are so many medical facilities out there. I just hope we can find what we're looking for."

"We will," I tell her. "I'm sure of it."

Mom looks at me. "Is that the Force telling you that, or just hopefulness?" she asks.

I smile. "Both," I reply.

Mom laughs. "Okay, let's get busy then," she says. "The sooner we find what we need, the sooner your father can get his life back."

Leia and I exchange a hopeful look, and then join our mother at the computer.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 25 _Voice of Darth Vader _

The clones are under control. Captain Rex has assured me that the transfer of power will be a smooth one, and I'm confident that, with he and his elite troops present, it will be. Right now his men are being deployed across the Empire to institute martial law in the numerous systems that will soon be without a governor. I know who my enemies are- men who tried to turn the emperor against me, men who were envious and resentful of my place at his side. Such men cannot be trusted now that Palpatine is no longer around to monitor their actions. I can't be bothered trying, so I've decided to have them all arrested and sent to Kessel. They won't give me any trouble there, assuming they survive. The only individual left to deal with is Tarkin, the commander of the Death Star. I have always despised the slimy little ass kisser, and have decided that I will deal with him personally. I've looked into the service records of the men serving under him, and decided that there is but one brain among them- Cassio Tagge. He is both intelligent and trustworthy. But that much power can corrupt even the best of men. I will need to place someone on the Death Star to keep an eye on him. I've considered sending Piett, but I need all my allies with me now.

It has been an exhausting, long day and I decide to visit my family for a break. I've tried not to think about what Padmé has been doing during all this time; searching for a place to fix my injuries. A small part of me is worried that my confidence in finding a solution unfounded; perhaps there _is _no way. And there's also a part of me that worries about the time I will need to recover- time that I will not be in a position to control the Empire. What if something arises during my convalescence? How would Padmé be able to handle it? I have to remind myself that she was once a queen- she knows how to handle a crisis. But the Empire is much larger than a single planet…and there's the Rebellion to worry about.

"Dad!" Leia says in greeting as I enter the room. The smile on her face and the warmth of her feelings soon helps negate my anxiety. "Come in and see what we just found."

I allow my daughter to take me by the hand and lead me to the computer. Padmé and Luke are there, and look at me.

"I think we've found it," Padmé tells me, standing up so that I can get a closer look at the screen. "Have a look."

I sit down as my family stands behind me, waiting for my reaction as I read over the information that they have located. I can feel their excitement, their hopefulness, and it warms my heart.

I focus my attention on the screen, and read over the page quickly. It looks hopeful, very hopeful, and so I read it again, taking my time.

"Well? Doesn't it look great?" Luke asks.

I nod. "Yes, it looks very promising," I reply, clicking onto the next page.

"The recovery time is quite extensive of course," Padmé says. "But I suppose that's to be expected."

I nod again, my concerns from earlier returning to my mind. "A long time to be out of command."

"Mom was a queen, Dad," Leia reminds me. "She can keep things in order while you're recovering."

"I suppose she can, yes," I reply.

The door chime sounds, and my children race to the door. Han Solo has arrived.

"The children are very excited about their time with Han," Padmé tells me.

I look over my shoulder. "Yes, so I noticed," I reply, still not sure I like Leia being with him so much knowing the crush she's developing on him.

Padmé pulls a chair beside me as the children leave with Solo.

"You sound rather …unsure," Padmé comments. "What's bothering you?"

I don't reply for a moment. "I suppose there's just a great deal going on that needs to be attended to," I tell her.

"Are you concerned about leaving me in charge?" she asks.

Again I hesitate. "An empire is a great deal more complicated than a single planet, Padmé," I remind her finally.

"I know that," she replies. "But you have plans, don't you? Aren't you making arrangements right now?"

"Yes," I assure her. "My elite forces have been deployed," I add.

"You should have a press conference," she suggests. "You don't want wild rumours to start spreading."  
"I hate press conferences," I tell her.

She smiles. "I know you do," she replies. "But I can help you. I'm pretty good at diplomacy."

I turn to her. "Pretty good?" I reply. "You're a master of it."  
Her smile grows. "See? Politicians are good for something after all," she comments.

"Some politicians," I reply. "Not all."

She shakes her head. "You're so stubborn," she remarks.

"Something we have in common," I retort.

She laughs. "I still can't believe he's dead," she says. "It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"I know exactly what you mean," I tell her. "This is going to change our lives entirely."

Padmé smiles. "In many ways," she replies, and I know exactly what she's talking about.

"You can't imagine how much I've missed being able to touch you," I tell her, reaching over and touching her face. "I can't wait to make love you again."

Padmé's eyes widen. I know that I'm not the only one who has been thinking about this aspect of our relationship.

"Neither can I," she says finally. "It seems like forever."

"It _has _been forever," I tell her. "I could tell you the exact number of days if you want."

She smiles. "You know the exact number?"

I nod. "I have a very accurate memory about such things," I assure her.

"Do you now?" she asks.

"Yes of course," I reply, our conversation starting to turn me on. "I remember the scent of your skin," I tell her, reaching over and taking a tendril of her hair between my finger and thumb. "The way your hair feels when it lies over my skin," I continue. "The taste of your kisses."

She nods, her cheeks turning pink. "We really shouldn't be talking like this," she tells me.

"Why not?" I ask, not following her line of thinking.

"Because it will only lead to…frustration," she explains.

I certainly can't deny that.

"You have a point," I say, turning my attention back to the computer. "Let's contact this one," I tell her. "Time to get the ball rolling."  
Padmé smiles. "I couldn't agree more."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Vader has left, no doubt he has plenty to do right now. We've made arrangements for him to come to the medical faculty in three days time for an evaluation. I can't imagine how we'll live with the disappointment if they tell us that there's nothing they can do. There _has _to be a way to repair the injuries he's lived with for so long. And if this place can't do it, then I will find a facility that can. I won't rest until I do.

"Dad must be so excited about all this," Luke comments over dinner. "I mean, he's the emperor now. The emperor!"

I nod, not really wanting to think of him in that way. Anakin has never been good at handling his powers- what will being emperor do to him?

"What do you think he's going to do about the Rebellion?" Leia asks me. She seems particularly concerned about this issue, for it's not the first time she has brought it up.

"I can't say," I reply. "But I'm sure he has something in mind. He's being very thorough as he assumes control of them Empire."

Leia nods, and returns her attention to her dinner.

"The Viceroy is involved in the Rebellion, isn't he?" Luke asks. Leia looks up quickly, letting us both know that Luke's correct.

"Why would you ask me that?" Leia asks, trying to recover.

Luke smiles. "It's okay," he says. "I'm not going to tell Dad."

Leia says nothing, no doubt worried about implicating Bail in something that could land him in a great deal of trouble, even execution.

"I'm hopeful that once your father establishes himself as the new leader the grievances that the Rebellion have with the Empire will be solved," I say. "So there will no longer be a need for such protests."

Leia nods, seeming a little more relaxed. I just hope she's not as transparent with her father- he would surely know what was going on in her mind.

"Do you plan to get Dad to make some changes?" Leia asks me.

"I would love that," I tell him. "But I don't know how much influence I will have over him and the decisions he makes. I think before his political views change, he'll have to change. And I'm not sure how easily that change will come about."

"I think once he's out of that terrible suit and able to live a normal life he will change," Luke says.

"I hope so, Luke," I reply. I'm sure that a large part of the darkness he's lived in all this time has to do with the isolation and pain he exists in. But then again, once he has a taste of all the power being emperor, will that only strengthen the hold the dark side has on him? I can't let that happen.

"Are we going to have to still live on this ship now that the emperor is dead?" Leia asks as we start to clear the table.

I smile at her. "I haven't even thought about that yet, Leia," I tell her. "I'm sure eventually yes we will move off of the ship," I continue. "But for now there's too much going on to even consider that."

"Besides, if you move off the ship you won't get to see Han," Luke teases. Leia shoots him a dirty look, and my suspicions are confirmed. My daughter has developed a serious crush on Han Solo.

Leia's face turns pink as she snatches the plate from Luke's hands and slams it down on the table. She leaves the room and Luke laughs.

"Luke, try to be sensitive about your sister's feeling," I tell him.

He stops laughing at once. "Mom, Han's _way _too old for her," he tells me. "If Dad knew how much Leia likes him, he'd flip."

"It's a simple crush, nothing more," I tell him as I hand Threepio the remaining cutlery. "But you teasing her about it is just mean."

Luke sighs. "Okay, okay," he relents finally. "I won't say anything else about who know who."

"Good," I say. "It's time for bed," I add, "it's been a long day."

It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep, for the day has been emotionally charged. I fall asleep with a feeling of hope and soon fall into a dream filled slumber.

_I wake up in the night feeling cold, and get out of bed to look for another blanket. Luke and Leia are still sleeping and the small suite we call home is quiet. I open up the cupboard in the family room and look around for a blanket, but, as luck would have it, find none. I start to consider my options when I hear the door slide open, and turn to see Vader enter the room. _

"_Is everything alright?" I ask him._

_He nods. "I was just returning Luke's data reader," he tells me, setting it on the table. "He left it in the workshop earlier. You're up very late," he comments, walking over to me. _

"_I was cold," I explain. "I was looking for a blanket."_

_He nods. "You're not usually cold," he comments. "In fact you used to complain about me turning up the heat, remember?" _

"_Yes I remember," I reply with a smile. "But I had you warming me up back then," I add. "I never needed an extra blanket with you in my bed."_

_He doesn't say anything, and I immediately regret my comment. I know he doesn't like to be reminded of what was. _

"_That's true," he replies finally, walking closer. "Our bodies were always draped over each other's," he says. "No need for blankets."_

_I nod, trying not to let the images he's creating with his words get to me. It's simply too frustrating. _

"_I miss those days," I tell him. "I miss falling asleep with in your arms, and waking up to your kisses."_

"_I miss those days too," he replies, taking my face in his hands. "I miss them so much. I miss you so much," he adds as he strokes my face softly. _

"_Soon we'll be able to have that again," I remind him. "It won't be long now."_

_He nods. "Yes," he replies. "But that's not for many weeks- months even," he adds. "I'm not sure how much longer I can wait."_

_I smile. "Well, there's nothing that prevents us from …you know, having some fun now," I tell him. _

"_No, I don't suppose there is," he agrees, running his hands down to my shoulders. "Except…I'm not the man you remember, Padmé," he cautions. "My body is…well, a wreck."_

_I frown, hating to think of what he went through. "I know all about your injuries," I tell him. _

"_And yet you're willing to be involved with me sexually?" he asks._

_I nod. "Well, you told me that you're…fully functional, remember?" I ask with a smile._

"_That's certainly true," he replies, running his hands down the length of my arms…. "Shall I prove it to you?" _

I wake up, my entire body tense with frustration. I can't imagine how my husband has gone so long without sex. It's only been a few weeks for me, and yet I'm feeling it, especially after the dream I just experienced. I have to wonder how he would truly react to an overture – he's never been one to turn down an opportunity for sex, but now…I just don't know how he'd react. I know he must be self-conscious, there's no doubt of it. But he has told me that he's able to function sexually- so why wouldn't he want an opportunity to prove it?

I sit up in bed, debating in my mind what I ought to do. The last thing I want to do is make him uncomfortable, but perhaps this is an opportunity to strengthen our rather shaky relationship. And yet, right now he is so busy with everything that must be done to keep things stable in the empire. Perhaps it would be too distracting to him right now- or perhaps the distraction would be a welcome one. Clearly I need to give this more thought.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

I spend the next morning helping Mom put a press release together. Apparently my father hates the press, and has delegated to her. How different he is from my adopted father! The Viceroy loved the spotlight, was an expert on schmoozing with the press. The two men couldn't be more different. I'm a little concerned that Luke and Mom know about the Viceroy's involvement in the Rebellion. I've been doing my best to keep this information from my real father- I know what he'd do with it should he find out. Even though I no longer live with him, I will always love Bail Organa and be grateful to him for all that he's done for me. I would hate myself forever if I were to betray him, even unwittingly.

"When is Dad going to the medical facility?" Luke asks, lounging on a nearby chair.

"He goes tomorrow for his assessment," Mom tells him as she scans over what we've written. "And to leave samples. It will be a few weeks after that before they can perform the surgery."

"Can we come down to the planet with him?" I ask hopefully.

I can tell Mom doesn't like the idea immediately.

"I'd feel better if you and Luke stayed here," she says.

"Mom, Palpatine is _dead_," Luke pipes up. "We don't have to hide any more."

Mom looks at him. "I know that Luke," she replies. "But you'll just have to try and accept the fact that I'm going to be rather…overprotective for a while. I'd think you'd be used to it by now," she adds, turning back to the computer screen. "Your father is certainly overprotective of all of us."

"No kidding," I mutter.

"I'm sure Han will keep you both busy while we're away," Mom says. "Don't you have a test in a few days?" she asks. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that…

"Piece of cake," Luke scoffs. "The stuff we're doing now is _so _easy," he brags.

I roll my eyes. "I hope you fail, just to teach you not to be so cocky," I say, standing up and walking over to the sofa.

Luke snorts. "As if," he retorts. I lift a cushion from the sofa using the Force and hurl it into his face. We're both shocked that I'm able to do it, and Luke is on his feet and running after me in seconds. I run away with a shriek, laughing as I go.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I enter the home of my family in time to see my son chasing after my daughter. I'm not sure what has just transpired, but judging by Leia's laughter, it was something mischievous. I can't help but smile- they are so much like me in that playfulness. Or- at least the way I once was.

"Have I come at a bad time?" I ask as Padmé walks over to me.

She shakes her head with a smile. "Not at all," she tells me. "They're just being…teenagers," she explains. I nod in understanding. "I've been working on the press release you asked for," she continues. "Come and see what you think so far."

I follow her over to the computer and wait as she brings up her work on the screen. I read it over her shoulder. It's impeccably worded, just as I expected it would be. And it's diplomatic, politically correct….

"It's too nice," I tell her finally. She looks up at me with a frown.

"Excuse me?" she asks.

"Too nice," I repeat, though I know she's heard me. "We're setting the tone for the future here, Padmé. I don't want people thinking I'm going to be …diplomatic."  
She sighs loudly and then turns back to the screen.

"Maybe you should just write it yourself," she mutters as she starts deleting what she's written.

"No, you're the writer, not me," I remind her. "It's well done, just…make it less…flowery."

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" she grumbles. I can't help but smile.

"I heard from the medical facility," I tell her as I watch her make some changes to the press release.

She turns to me briefly before returning to her task. "Oh? Why? Change of plans?"  
"They've had a cancellation, and can take me earlier," I tell her. "We're on our way there right now, and should arrive within the hour."

She smiles. "That's exciting," she say. "You must be very anxious to get this done and over with."

"I don't look forward to the tests, no," I admit. "It's not going to be fun."

"No, but think about what it will lead to," she reminds me.

"I know," I say.

"Luke and Leia want to come with us," she tells me.

"Out of the question," I respond at once.

"That's what I told them," she assures me.

"In fact, I'm not even sure I want you to come," I tell her. I can see her disappointment immediately.

"Why not? Of course I'm coming with you!" she responds at once.

"Padmé, I don't want you to see what I've become," I tell her. There's no sense hiding the truth.

She frowns. "I'm your wife," she replies.

"I know that," I reply. "But…"  
"But nothing," she interjects. "I'm coming with you," she states. "And that's final."

I look at her, her feistiness both annoying and pleasing to me. "Have you always been this stubborn?" I ask her.

"Absolutely," she responds. "How else could I have put up with you for so long?"

I actually laugh out loud at this, the sound of it strange to even my own ears. "Very well," I relent finally. "You're coming with me."

She smiles. "Have a look," she says, standing up so I can read the screen. "What do you think?"

I scan over the words and nod approvingly. "Much better," I tell her. "I'll have this released at once."

"Good," she replies as she folds her arms over her chest, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I think you should have a press conference as well as releasing this," she says. "You don't want to appear as though you're afraid to face the media," she says.

"I'm not," I reply. "I just…hate them."

"I know," she replies. "But it's important to establish your rule from day one," she insists. "And standing before the media is a show of strength."

She's right, of course.

"Okay," I reply. "I'll do it once I've had this medical business attended to," I tell her. "But I want you to be there with me."

She's surprised, and it shows in her face. "Really?"

"Of course," I reply. "After I've had the surgery you'll be in charge," I remind her. "You can't remain anonymous any longer."

She nods. "You're right," she replies. "I'll be happy to face the media with you. I'll even answer questions if you want to."  
"There won't be any questions," I assure her. "It will be a simple download of information. I will tell them what they need to know, and that's it. I have no intention of entertaining their asinine questions."

She smirks. "Asinine?" she asks. "You think all members of the media are idiots?"  
"Pretty much," I reply, enjoying our banter.

She laughs. "Fine, it will be a one-sided press conference," she says. "If that's what you want."

"It is," I assure her.

"Lord Vader, we've dropped out of hyperspace," Piett informs me via comlink.

"Very well," I tell him. "Ready my shuttle."

"Yes my lord," he replies. I look at my wife. "Are you ready?" I ask her.

She nods. "Are you?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I tell her.

"I'll tell the twins we're going, and then meet you at the shuttle," she tells me.

"Very well," I say. "See you shortly."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 26 _Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Luke and Leia have long faces as they walk with their father and me to the hangar bay. I know how anxious they are to be involved in his transformation, but until things are completely settled, they are far safer on the ship. At least, that's what Vader has said. I suspect that his real reasons are far more personal. He has not allowed neither the twins or I to see his face without his mask, and is no doubt worried that they might do so should they accompany us to the medical facility. I know he's worried that I will too, despite my promise that I would stay out of the examination room. It troubles me that he's so self-conscious, for confidence is something he has never been lacking in. Clearly his injuries must be terrible if he's so anxious to keep his appearance hidden from his own family. And yet, I will honour his wishes, and stay away, despite my own curiosity.

"You two behave yourselves while we're away," Vader tells Luke and Leia. "Don't lock Threepio in the closet again," he adds. "You know how useless he is when he's discombobulated."  
Luke and Leia snicker and exchange a look of amusement. I can't help but smile too, just remembering how confused the poor fellow was.

"We'll try not to torture him too much," Luke assures his father.

"Good," Vader replies, turning to me. "Time to go," he says.

I nod, and then give the twins a quick hug each. "I'll contact you soon," I tell them. "Study."

"Okay," Leia replies. "We'll be thinking about you, Dad," she says to Vader, putting her arms around him.

Vader is a great deal more comfortable now with physical manifestations of affection, and puts his arms around her in return. "I'll be back soon," he assures her. He turns back to me and waits for me to board the shuttle. I do so, and he follows me up the ramp, leaving Luke and Leia behind.

"I'm not looking forward to this," Vader tells me as we sit in the cockpit. He has decided to fly the shuttle himself, not wanting to involve any of his men in this personal errand.

"I know," I reply. "But think of what it will lead to," I remind him. "A new start."

He nods as he fires up the shuttle's engines. "That's a long way off," he replies, ever the pessimist.

"True," I reply. "But worth the wait," I add.

He turns to me. "Yes, I'm sure it will be," he says.

The facility is fairly small, and I'm reminded immediately of Polis Massa as we step through the doors. My memories of that place fill me with mixed feelings: joy at the memory of the birth of my twins, and bitterness at the memory of what happened after their birth. But, as I've just reminded my husband, it's time for a new start. A fresh start. I only hope that this physical transformation Vader is about to embark upon leads to a transformation of a different kind.

"Lord Vader, welcome," a young woman greets us. She looks at me with a curious expression, no doubt wondering who I am, but has the good sense not to ask. "Our team is ready for you. Please follow me," she says.

Vader and I follow her through a double set of security doors and down a short corridor to an office. An older woman sitting at a table stands up at once as we enter the room and offers us a smile.

"Welcome Lord Vader," she says. "I'm Jara Iginla," she says. "I'm the head of the surgical team here. Please sit down."

Vader pulls a chair out for me, and I note how the woman is watching me.

"This is my wife," Vader informs her, no doubt noting how she's looking at me.

"Oh, forgive me Lady Vader," she says, smiling at me. "I wasn't aware Lord Vader was married."  
"It isn't common knowledge," I reply.

"No, indeed it isn't," Vader agrees.

"Well then," Jara says. "I need some information from you in order to create a medical profile," she tells Vader. "And then we will proceed with a full medical examination, during which time we will harvest the cells we need for replication."

Vader nods, and I can see his hands tense on the chair's arm as he prepares himself mentally for the gruelling exam that he's about to face.

"We'll start with your age," Jara begins.

"Thirty-eight," Vader replies.

Jara makes a note of this on her datapad, and then proceeds to ask him a battery of questions about his medical history and the nature of his injuries. As I listen I fight to control my emotions as I hear once again the horrific manner in which Obi-Wan Kenobi mutilated my husband and left him to burn. I remember when Anakin lost his arm on Geonosis, how painful it was for him, how difficult it was to accept his prosthetic limb. I can't imagine how he's coped all this time with the massive injuries and extensive implants he's been forced to live with all these years. Is it any wonder he's been mired in Darkness ever since?

"Well, if you're ready Lord Vader, we could get started," Jara says as she stands up.

"How long do you think this will take?" I ask as I stand up along with my husband.

"It's difficult to say at this point," she replies. "But I'd say at least three or four hours."

I nod, and look up at Vader. Even though I cannot see his face, I know how anxious he is. "I'll be waiting," I tell him, giving one of his hands a squeeze.

He nods in return and then turns to the doctor. "I'm ready," he tells her. "Let's get his over with."

Jara nods, and leads Vader out of the room. I watch them leave, and then follow her assistant to a waiting area. I know it will be a long wait.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

It's very late, and I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about my father and what's going on down on the planet below us. I've never seen my father's face- not even in a hologram, even though I've done some really extensive searches on the holonet. Mom tells me that he looked a lot like me before his accident- I like to think so. I can't wait to see for myself.

"Luke, you sleeping?"

I look up to my sister who's standing in the doorway. Obviously she can't sleep either.

"Nope," I tell her, sitting up at once. "What are you doing up?"

"Mom's on the comm.," she tells me. "She has some news."

I'm out of the bed in a flash and join Leia in the next room. We jockey for position in front of the computer, and I finally just settle for sharing the chair with her. I can tell at once that Mom is worried- her face shows it, especially her eyes. She's tired too- I guess me and Leia aren't the only ones who are sleepless tonight.

"What's goin' on, Mom?" I ask her at once. "Is Dad okay?"

She nods, though I don't sense that she's anything less than worried. "He's still in the examination room," she tells us. "I just spoke to the anaesthetist," she continues. "They've almost finished the examination."

"What did they tell you?" Leia asks.

Mom's face reflects her emotions, and we can both tell how close she is to tears.

"They're …shocked," she tells us. "It seems your father's injuries are more extensive than they'd anticipated," she continues. "They're appalled that he has never received any sort of medical treatment until now." She stops and shakes her head. "It seems we've been right all along about Palpatine."

"The monster," Leia says angrily. "He kept Dad in that suit all this time even though he could have been helped?"  
Mom nods. "Yes," she replies quietly.

"But they can help him, right?" I ask, trying to brighten the mood. "They can fix his injuries, right?"

"They haven't said one way or another," Mom replies. "I'm trying not to get too discouraged, but…"  
"They _will _be able to fix his injuries, Mom," Leia says adamantly. "We have to think positive!" I nod in agreement.

Mom smiles. "I wish you two were here with me," she tells us. "It's so hard waiting alone."

"We can come down," I speak up at once.

"No, we have to respect your father's wishes," Mom replies. "He didn't even want me to be here, let alone you two."

Leia and I frown in unison.

"You two need to get to bed," Mom says, in typical Mom fashion. "I will keep you updated."

"We're not going to be able to sleep," Leia tells her. "We're just as worried as you are, Mom."

Mom nods. "I know you are," she replies. She smiles and blows a kiss to us. "I love you both," she says. "I'll talk to you soon."

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I wake up in pain, which is not unusual for me. However this is a different kind of pain, it's an invasive pain, as though I've been poked and prodded for several hours. And that is precisely what has happened. I'm not quite sure how long I've been unconscious; all I know is that I feel weak and pain in every part of my body. My eyes, unaccustomed to unfiltered light, squint as open them. It's a pleasant change not to have the mask on my face, as they've placed me in an oxygen enriched capsule. Still, I feel claustrophobic now that I'm aware of my surroundings, and look around as best I can for someone to notice that I'm awake. Soon enough a droid is beside me, followed quickly by a nurse. I can sense how uneasy she feels looking at me in my present state, despite her best efforts to hide her shock. She smiles at me and activates the comm so that I can hear her through the capsule.

"We're all finished, Lord Vader," she informs me. "Now that you're awake I'll let the doctors know so that you can get dressed."

I simply nod, and close my eyes to wait for the ordeal of being placed back in the hated suit and mask once more.

Padmé is already sitting in the head surgeon's office when I arrive with a medical droid. She stands up at once, and I can sense how concerned she is. I don't think she's slept at all, for she looks strained and tired. She gives me a smile and takes my hand.

"Dr. Iginla will be right here," she tells me as we sit down.

"Very well," I reply, doing my best to hide my discomfort.

Padmé is watching me, and is about to say something but is prevented from doing so by the arrival of the head surgeon.

"Well, Lord Vader," she says as she sits down at her desk. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," I reply.

She nods and glances down on the desk to a datapad that sits upon it. "Well," she says, picking it up. "Let's have a look at this report."

I know she doesn't need to look at it to know what it says- she was there, after all. She is clearly uneasy and apprehensive about discussing it with me, however. That much is obvious. And this makes me very anxious.

Padmé must also see how uneasy the physician is, and her own anxiety level rises. She looks at me, and then reaches over and puts her hand on mine as it rests on the arm of the chair I'm seated upon.

"Give us the bottom line, Doctor," I say at last, unable to stand the waiting any longer. "Is there anything you can do?"

Ignila looks at me, then at Padmé, and then back at me. "Yes," she says finally. "I believe we can."  
I look at Padmé, and her smile reflects my own relief.

"However," the doctor speaks up. "I need to tell you that the damage is far more significant than we originally expected," she says. "And, quite frankly, I'm shocked that you have not received any medical treatment until now, Lord Vader."  
I say nothing in response- I know exactly why, but this isn't the time or the place to revisit the past. It is the future I must focus on now.

"What can we expect?" Padmé asks.

The doctor looks at her. "Well, we've harvested the cells we need to regenerate new organs and tissues," she begins. "This process will take several weeks," she continues. "Once they are viable, we will perform the surgery to start the organ regeneration. Organ regeneration should take a week with you in the bacta tank," she explains, looking back at me, "You'll be wrapped in a special healing sac connected to computerized monitoring devices."

"So …how long are we talking about?" I ask her. "Three months? More? Less?"  
"It's very difficult to say," she replies. "That depends upon you, of course," she explains.

"Is there anything you can do to accelerate the regeneration process?" Padmé asks.

Ignila nods. "Yes, if that's what you wish," she replies. "I would prefer not to go that route, but if want to speed things up, I will do it."

Padmé looks at me. "We'll have to talk about that," she replies.

I don't need to talk about it. I want this nightmare to end as soon as possible.

"Accelerate the process, by all means," I speak up. "I want to be able to return here in no less than three weeks."

The doctor looks at Padmé, her shock evident on her face. She looks at me and nods. "Very well then," she says. "I'll be sure to see to it personally, Lord Vader."

"Good," I reply, and stand up. I look at Padmé. "Let's go home," I tell her.

She nods, and then stands up to join me. We leave the doctor's office and head to the hangar bay.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I walk along Vader's side in silence as we make our way to the hangar bay. I feel embarrassed and slighted, but I'm not sure how to tell him that. Anakin has never been a subtle man, and now that he's so immersed in the darkness, he seems even more blunt than usual. I've never had trouble telling him if he's offended me, but now I'm not so sure he'll be willing to consider my point of view.

"Only three weeks," I say as we sit down in the cockpit. "That's pretty soon."

"I don't have time to waste," he replies.

I frown. "Well, you don't want to jeopardize the integrity of the process," I point out.

He is silent for a moment as he considers this. "They're professionals, Padmé," he says finally. "If there was a possibility of that happening they would have said so."

I say nothing for a moment, trying to find the right words to phrase my response.

"Well, you didn't really give them many options," I point out.

He turns to me. "What do you mean?" he asks. He's such a man.

"I mean you made it pretty clear that you expected quick results," I explain. "And that you were returning in three weeks and that they had better be ready. Coming from you, that's nothing short of an order. An ultimatum, even."

"I want this done," he replies, turning back to the controls. "I would think you would too," he adds.

"I do," I reply. "I just thought it would be prudent to talk about it before making any big decisions."

"There were no decisions to be made," he points out.

"I know you think so," I reply, doing my best to remain patient. "But the way you brushed me off was a little…inconsiderate," I say.

"How did I brush you off?" he asks.

I sigh and look out the cockpit window as we pilot out of the hangar bay. "Forget it," I mutter, deciding it's not worth the effort.

I see him look at me out of the corner of my eye, but he says nothing, and we fly back to the ship in silence.


	22. Chapter 22

_Chapter 27 Voice of Luke Skywalker_

Leia and I enter the hangar as it settles onto the deck of the enormous bay. Mom contacted us to let us know they were on their way- and I could hear the stress in her voice. I know Leia could too. This can only mean one thing- the doctors can't help our father.

"What's wrong?" Leia asks me as we watch the ramp lower to the deck. "Mom's upset, I can feel it," she says.

I nod. "I know," I reply. "I don't want to think about what that might mean."

Leia frowns. "I know," she replies. "Neither do I."

Finally our parents emerge, Father first and then Mom behind him. The tension between them is obvious. I look at Leia, who I know senses it too.

"They've been fighting," she says without looking away from them. "That's what we're sensing."

"Maybe," I reply. "They certainly do it often enough," I add.

Leia nods, and then smiles as she walks over to give our father a hug. I watch Mom, knowing that she's upset. I want to ask her what's troubling her, but I know she won't tell me. She's funny that way.

"How did it go?" Leia ask. "Can they help you?"

"Yes, they'll be performing the surgery in three weeks," Dad tells us. I'm so relieved I can't help but grin like an idiot.

"That's awesome!" I declare. "Isn't it Mom?"

Mom nods and smiles. "It's wonderful," she agrees.

Dad looks back at her and then over at Piett as he arrives on the scene.

"Lord Vader, members of the media have begun to arrive for the press conference," Piett reports. "I've had them assemble in the audience hall."

"Very well," Dad replies. "I'll be there shortly."

"Very good sir," Piett replies.

"It will be a very brief audience," Dad tells Piett. "I promise you, and once I've dismissed them I want you to set course for the Death Star," Dad tells him. "I owe Governor Tarkin a visit."  
Piett smiles. "It will be my pleasure sir," he replies. "I trust everything went well?"  
"Yes," Dad replies. "Very well."  
"Excellent," Piett replies. "You must be very pleased, Milady," he says to Mom.

"I am, Admiral," she replies. "We all are."  
Piett nods. "Of course," he replies. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll prepare to leave orbit so we can be on our way," he says, bowing respectfully to my parents.

"I'll join you shortly," Dad tells him.

Piett nods and then turns and hurries out of the room.

"You're having a press conference right now?" Leia asks.

"Just as soon as I can get freshened up," Mom says. She looks perfect to me, but I guess girls are picky about their looks sometimes.

"Don't be long," Dad tells her. "I want to get this over with."

Mom looks at him for a moment and then leaves the hangar with Leia, who is probably going to help Mom with her hair or something.

"Is there something I can do to help?" I ask Dad.

"No," he replies. "I don't want you or Leia any where near the media."

"Why not?" I ask. "Mom's going to be there."

"That's different," he replies as we walk together out of the hangar. "She's not a stranger to the media. I want to protect you and your sister from those blood suckers for as long as possible."

"Okay," I reply, disappointed. "I guess we can watch it on the holonet."

"That is acceptable," Dad replies. "Now run along to hurry your mother up," he tells me. "I know how long it takes her to …freshen up," he adds. "I don't want to wait until your eighteenth birthday."

I laugh at his comment. He certainly does know Mom well. "Okay, I'll see what I can do," I tell him and lope off down the corridor. Dad heads in the opposite direction and soon disappears around a corner. I can't wait to see how he handles the media.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I hate the media, I always have. I did an excellent job of avoiding them whenever possible when I was a Jedi Knight- but even then it was impossible. And now, now that I'm the emperor, I know it will be even more so. But I know Padmé is right; in order to project a strong and commanding image I must face them head on and let them know who is in control. I enter the audience hall and brace myself for the barrage of questions I know will be fired my way. The reporters are smart enough not to approach me uninvited, and so I'm left alone to gather my thoughts while I wait for Padmé to arrive. Piett is talking to a few of them, and upon seeing me, comes over to me.

"Shall we begin, sir?" he asks. He seems as anxious as me to get these leeches off of the ship.

"As soon as my wife arrives," I tell him. "Which will be soon, hopefully," I add.

Piett smiles. He's married himself, and no doubt knows what I'm talking about. "There's Lady Vader now," he says, nodding over to the other side of the room. Padmé as just entered the room, and, of course, looks spectacular. I walk over to her, trying to ignore the shock I sense from the members of the media as they notice Padmé in their midst.

"Ready?" I ask her, taking her by the hand.

She nods, and I can tell that she's still annoyed with me from earlier.

"You look gorgeous," I tell her when we're out of ear shot of the others in the room. She looks up at me and smiles as I help her up onto the small dais at one end of the room. Piett comes forward to quiet the room and then steps back, knowing I don't need any introduction.

"By now you have all learned that the late Emperor Palpatine was killed several days ago when his ship unexpectedly exploded," I begin. "I have assumed control of the Empire in the wake of his demise," I continue, "and have already begun to put measures into place to ensure a smooth succession." I turn to Padmé at this point. "The Empress Amidala will be ruling at my side," I say. I turn back to the reporters. "I will take a few questions," I tell them. "But only a few. Admiral Piett, if you would," I say.

Piett bows to me and then faces the crowd of wildly waving hands. The reporters have already been briefed and told what they may and may not ask, so hopefully this will go smoothly and no one will end up dead. It's always stressful when I need to kill someone for being stupid.

"Lord Vader, are there any details on the cause of the explosion?" the man asks.

"There was not enough debris left to conduct an investigation," I response. "We are assuming at this point that it was some form of malfunction. It was quite sudden and without any warning. That's all I can tell you."

"Lord Vader, is your empress the _Senator_ Amidala?" a woman asks. I turn to Padmé, nodding in response to the question.

"Yes she is," I reply.

"Your Majesty, you were believed dead," another woman says.

"Clearly that report was erroneous," Padmé speaks up. "I've been living in isolation until recently."

"Is this a political merger between you and Lord Vader?" a man asks. "A union of the old republic and the Empire?"

Padmé frowns, and then looks up at me. She doesn't know what to say at this point, for clearly the reporters don't realize that Padmé and I are married.

"This is not a merger," I speak up. "The Empress is my wife," I tell them. "She has been my wife for many years."

The sense of shock is immediate and wide spread. Padmé looks at me with surprise, perhaps not expecting that I'd be so open about our relationship. I sense that the questions that the gathered media are eager to ask me now have nothing to do with my succession, and everything to do with my marriage. That means the press conference is over. I give Piett the signal, and he calls an end to the proceedings and clones move in to usher the reporters out.

"Was that so bad?" Padmé asks me once the room has been cleared.

"Absolutely," I reply. She laughs, and I know that I'm forgiven.

"I have to admit that I was surprised that you told them about our marriage," Padmé says as we leave the room together.

"There's no reason to hide it now," I remind her. "Palpatine can't hurt us anymore."

She nods. "Ironic," she comments. "It's taken nearly a lifetime, but finally we don't have to hide any more."

"Yes," I say as we step into the turbo lift. "Better late than never," I comment.

She smiles. "I suppose so," she replies. "So what's next on your agenda?"

"Now I must take care of the last of my potential enemies," I tell her.

"You mean Tarkin?"

"Yes," I reply. "I slimy, ass kissing, morally bereft man," I tell her. "I will enjoy bringing him down."

She nods, clearly uncomfortable with my comment. It seems she's still unable to accept certain aspects of my life and my persona.

"Will you kill him?" she asks.

"Only if necessary," I reply. "I happen to know that he's been pocketing imperial funds for years," I inform her. "Palpatine was too blind to see it, and liked Tarkin too much to suspect. But I've known for year. It's pretty obvious- the bloody station still isn't finished after more than fifteen years."

"Will you finish it? Or scrap it?" she asks.

I haven't thought about this yet, and tell her so. There's so much going on, I have so many decisions to make that the Death Star has been sort of relegated to the bottom of my priority list.

"It may help things with the Rebellion if you scrapped the whole thing," she suggests as we walk towards her quarters. "You know they will do what they can to sabotage it once it's completed."

"Of course," I reply. "I will deal with the Rebellion as well," I tell her. "I promise you."

She nods, a small frown creasing her brow. Why am I not surprised that she'd be sympathetic towards the Rebellion? Padmé says nothing as we walk down the corridor together, but I know what she's thinking. She wants me to talk to the Rebellion, I'm sure of it. She really doesn't understand the depth of animosity between them and the Empire- how could she? She's been in stasis for the past sixteen years.

"You know," she begins, as if on cue. "There are alternatives to conflict."

"On occasion, yes," I reply, stopping when we reach the doorway to her quarters. She looks at me questioningly as I stop.

"You're not coming in?" she asks.

"No, I need to get some rest before we reach the Death Star," I tell her. I've been fighting the fatigue for long enough. "I'm rather worn out."

"Yes, I'm sure you must be," she replies. "Well I hope you can sleep," she adds. "I know I could use some myself."

I nod. "I'll talk to you before I leave," I tell her.

"I want to come with you to the Death Star," she tells me as I turn to leave. How did I know she would say this?

"I'll think about," I tell her. She doesn't press the issue, much to my relief. I leave her now to try to get some needed sleep.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

It's a while before Luke and Leia are able to get to sleep, both of them are so keyed up from the day's excitement. Truth be told, I'm not sure how I will sleep right now either. I'm eager for things to get underway now that I know my husband can have his injuries fixed. I'm anxious to see what this will mean for him, for us. Surely he will change once he is whole again- I'm certain that a great deal of the darkness in him is rooted in his injuries and the isolation he's lived in for so long.

My fears are soon realized as I find myself tossing and turning in my bed. I'm tired, but my body is simply too tense to sleep. I wonder if Vader has managed to sleep at all, for I'm sure he's just as tense as I am, perhaps more even more so. I remember when we were together how Anakin would come home from a gruelling mission and fall into my arms, and how I would help ease his tension in the most effective of manners. We were always so good at that, at reading the signs of the other's bodies and providing what we needed. I remember the dream I had a few nights back, a dream that left me full of sexual tension.

I sit up in my bed, deciding that I won't sleep for a long time. Perhaps a walk or even a swim will help alleviate my restlessness.

The deck of the ship where we live has been all but vacated over the past few months- clearly Vader wants his family to have the utmost privacy. That's fine with me- I really don't feel comfortable around clone troopers and imperial officers. The fact that the corridors are all but empty as I walk along now is more than fine with me.

"Milady, perhaps we ought to return to the children," says Threepio, who insisted that he accompany me. "Artoo is not entirely responsible, after all."

I smile. "He's as responsible as you are," I point out. "Besides, Luke and Leia are asleep, and they're teenagers. I think they'll be just fine."

Threepio sighs dramatically. "Very well, Milady," he replies. "But I …"

"Good evening Milady," Admiral Piett says as we encounter him in our wanderings. "What are you doing out this time of night?"

"I wasn't able to sleep, and thought I'd take a walk and perhaps a swim," I tell him. "Threepio felt the need to keep me company."

Piett smiles. "How kind of him," he says. "Have you tried a cup of hot milk? Works like a charm for me."

I smile. "I haven't, but thank you for the suggestion," I reply. I have come to like this officer tremendously, and see why my husband trusts him so implicitly.

"You're quite welcome, Milady," he replies with a bow. "I wish you a good night," he adds, and continues on his way.

"Milady, I'd be most happy to make you a cup of hot milk," Threepio tells me as I continue to walk along. "I don't think Lord Vader would be happy if he knew that you were out and about this late."

I frown and turn to him. "Threepio, Vader is _not _my master," I remind him. "I come and go as I please, do you understand?"

"Yes, Milady," he sighs in his most offended tone.

"Why don't you go home and check on the twins?" I suggest, anxious to be rid of him. "Make sure Artoo is doing his job." This brightens him up at once.

"I'll be most happy to, Milady," he declares, and goes toddling off in the opposite direction.

I am nearly at the swimming pool when I encounter my husband. Somehow I don't think it's an accident that we ran into one another here.

"What are you doing out at this time of night?" he asks me without preamble. "You should be asleep."

"I could ask you the same thing," I counter.

He says nothing, and I know he's trying to come up with a response. "I'm used to not sleeping," he says finally. "You're not."

I frown. "You need to sleep," I tell him. "You're human, remember?"

He regards me for a moment, and I wish I could see his eyes. I can't wait until I can again. "I remember," he replies. "Sometimes I forget…but having you around helps me remember."

I smile. "Is that right?" I ask.

He nods.

"Is that because I nag you sometimes?" I ask.

He chuckles. "Well…perhaps partly," he replies. "But I missed that, so I don't mind."

"Oh well that's good to know," I tease.

I get the impression that my husband is smiling, and most definitely teasing me at this point. I have missed this side of him.

"Seriously though," he says, "You do remind me of my humanity. Before I found you I felt incomplete," he tells me. "Now that you're back in my lie, I feel human again. You remind me that I'm a man."

Our conversation has taken an unexpected turn, and I'm reminded of the dream I had.

"Do I?" I ask, deciding to take advantage of the situation.

He nods. "Most definitely," he replies. "It's very frustrating, actually."

I frown, not expecting this. "I'm sorry," I reply, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't apologize," he replies, stepping closer to me. "It's not your fault you're utterly irresistible."

My smile returns upon hearing this. "I'm glad you still think so," I reply. "But I'm not sure how that is a problem."

"It's only a problem because I can't do the things I want to do with you," he replies. "Or to you," he adds.

Oh my…this is getting interesting.

"Perhaps not everything, no," I reply. "At least not right now," I add. "But that will change very soon."  
He nods. "Not soon enough for me," he tells me.

Images from my dream flash through my mind, and I summon my nerve to take it to the next step.

"You know," I begin, looking up at him with a smile. "There are some things that we can do now," I tell him.

"Oh?" he asks. "Such as?"

"Well…do you remember how I used to help you relax when you couldn't sleep?" I ask him, taking his hands.

He nods. "Are you suggesting that you could do that now?" he asks.

"Yes," I reply. "You clearly need some help getting to sleep," I add.

"That would certainly do it," he replies, making me laugh.

"Well? What do you think?" I ask. I can tell he's hesitant, not because he doesn't want me to pleasure him, but because he's so self conscious still. I feel terrible that he feels this way, and decide that I need to be the one to take the initiative.

"Please let me do this," I tell him. "I want to, and I know you want me to as well."

His hands tighten in mine, ever so slightly. "You have no idea how much I want you," he tells me.

I smile. "Then come with me," I tell him, releasing one of his hands and leading him towards his quarters.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 28 _ Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I wake up hungry, which is pretty typical for me. I get out of bed, expecting to smell breakfast as I leave the room. But I don't. Mom is always up by now making something delicious for me and Leia- but all I find when I enter the kitchen is Leia standing at the replicator.

"Where's Mom?" I ask.

She looks at me. "Good morning to you too," she replies. I roll my eyes and wait for her to answer my question. "Mom isn't here," she tells me.

I frown. "Where is she?"

Leia shrugs. "How should I know?" she replies. "She never came home last night. She must be with Dad somewhere."

"Why wouldn't she come home?" I ask as Leia takes her replicated meal to the table. "I mean…she must be tired."

Leia lifts her eyebrows and looks up at me. "Don't be so naïve, Luke," she replies.

I frown, not understanding what she means. And then I do, and I turn to the replicator to hide the fact that my face is completely red. I do _not _want to think about that aspect of my parents' relationship. I say nothing as I replicate myself some breakfast, but I can feel my sister's eyes boring into my back.

"What's the matter, Luke?" she asks. I can hear the smirk in her voice. "They _are_ married, you know."

"I know that," I mumble.

"So what's the problem? I think it's very romantic that they spent the night together."

I cringe at her words, and pick up my bowl of cereal. "Can we please drop it?" I say as I walk over to sit at the table with her.

Leia frowns. "Why? What's the big deal?"

"I just….don't want to think about that, okay?" I tell her. "And I don't think it's right for us to be talking about it either. It's disrespectful," I add for good measure.

Leia rolls her eyes. "Whatever," she says. "I hope she's back soon, though," she continues, mercifully changing the subject. "I want to ask her about the Death Star. I really want to see it."

"There's no way Dad will let us go there with him," I tell her. "Not a chance."

Leia shrugs. "You never know," she replies.

But I do know- better than she does obviously. If he wouldn't let us come to the medical center with us, then there's no way in the universe he'll let us come on board the Death Star. I'd like to see it too- it must be really amazing from what I've heard.

"You'd think Threepio would believe us if we told him we already wrote the calculus test?" Leia asks.

I look up at her. "What?"

"We could tell him his circuits are messed up again," she suggests. "It worked last time."

I grin. My sister and I have become very creative when it comes to tricking Threepio. He's just so…gullible.

"It's worth a shot," I tell her.

Leia nods in agreement.

_Voice of Darth Vader_

My wife has returned to her quarters, having spent the night in my arms. Remarkably I slept more with her than I normally do in my pod. I suppose that just means that we are meant to be together, as we always have.

"My Lord, we have just dropped out of light speed," Piett informs me as I reach the bridge. "We'll arrive at the Death Star within the hour."

I nod in acknowledgment. "Have you alerted Governor Tarkin of our impending arrival?" I ask.

"Yes sir," Piett replied. "Just as you ordered."

"No doubt he was happy to hear it," I quip.

Piett smirks. "As happy as you'd imagine him to be," he replies.

"Yes, I'm sure," I reply. "Have my shuttle as well as several TIE's ready."

"I'll see to it personally, my lord," Piett replies and leaves me after a polite bow. I walk towards the large view screen. I have always hated Tarkin, hated his arrogance and the fact that Palpatine favoured him for some reason. But Palpatine is gone now- and I'm certain that Tarkin is smart enough to know what that means. I look forward to our meeting with great enthusiasm. The only thing that troubles me is knowing that my wife will want to accompany me to the Death Star. And as much as I want her company, I do not want her near that reptile Tarkin. But it's more than that; I have little doubt that Tarkin will not survive our meeting, and I don't want Padmé to see that part of me. She knows it's there, she knows what I'm like- but the look in her eyes and the feelings of fear and shock I sense from her are…disquieting. I still can't believe that what happened last night was actually real. The fact that she wants anything to do with me after Mustafar is astonishing to me; the fact that she wants me sexually even more so. And yet, clearly she does. I have to force myself not to reflect on our encounter last night. The bridge of my ship is hardly the place for those sort of thoughts.

We arrive at the Death Star a short time later, and enter into orbit. Just the sight of the place fills me with hatred for Tarkin, and, even more so, for Palpatine. I have not decided what the fate of the massive space station will be- it seems wasteful to abandon it after to much money has been spent in its creation. But will its existence become a constant reminder of the past? Of the monster whose madness conceived of it? Padmé seems to think that disposing of it will be a step towards ending the conflict in the galaxy, the proverbial olive branch so to speak. I'm not sure I'm ready to extend any peace offerings to the Rebellion, though; they've done nothing to merit clemency of any degree.

"My Lord, your shuttle is ready," Piett informs me.

I turn to him and nod my understanding. "You have the bridge, Admiral," I tell him. "I expect to return in a few days," I add. "The fewer the better," I mutter as I step into the turbo lift.

My family is in the hangar bay when I arrive, and I feel as though I've been ambushed.

"The children wanted to see us off," Padmé explains. See _us _off…clearly she won't be left behind.

"I see," I reply. "We won't be gone long," I tell them. "Three days at the most."

"Don't you think it would be good for our education to see the Death Star?" Luke asks. "I mean- it's an engineering phenomenon."

I'm amused at my son's attempt to convince me to let him and Leia come along. "A technological terror is more like it," I tell him. "And no, you'll learn nothing there that I cannot teach you. But nice try, son."

Leia smirks and elbows her brother in the ribs as Luke's face reddens.

"We'll contact you often," Padmé tells our children as she hugs them each. "Be good."

"We're _always _good," Leia informs her.

Padmé doesn't agree nor disagree, but simply smiles. Clearly she knows the twins as well as I do.

"Good luck," Luke tells us.

"We'll miss you," Leia adds for good measure.

"They never give up, do they?" I ask Padmé as we board the shuttle.

She smiles. "Remind you of anyone?" she asks.

I reflect on this for a moment. "You can't mean me," I ask at last as we sit down in the passenger lounge.

Padmé's eyes widen. "Oh no, not you," she teases. "You've _never _been single minded or tenacious," she adds.

I have to laugh at her comment. "I suppose, on occasion, I've been known to be both," I reply.

"On occasion, yes," she replies.

"Then I suppose they come by it honestly," I tell her.

She nods, looking out the window as the shuttle draws closer to the Death Star. "I can't believe how huge it is," she says.

I stand up and walk over to join her. "It is," I agree. "A vast monument to the late emperor's ego," I add.

"No wonder it's so big," she quips.

I nod in agreement. "I hate the sight of it, to tell you the truth," I tell her.

She looks up at me in surprise. "Really? That's surprising."

"Why?" I ask. "It represents Palpatine, and is run by his biggest toady."

"True," she replies. "Then perhaps you should consider destroying it," she suggests. "Make a clean start free of any trace of Palpatine's influence."

I don't reply, for I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. As much as I hate it, the Death Star does represent tremendous potential."

Padmé frowns. "Potential for what? Wanton destruction? Terror? Extortion?"

"Yes," I reply, knowing it will annoy her. "As well as other things," I add.

She shakes her head and looks at the image in the screen again. "I still think it would be better off in a trillion pieces," she mutters. I smile under my mask.

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" I ask.

I expect that the main hangar bay will be brimming with officers and men to welcome Padmé and I to the Death Star. Tarkin has never been one to skimp on the pomp and ceremony. The TIE fighters that surround our shuttle enter the hangar first. I can sense Padmé's tension level increase as we follow them.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask her as we make our way to the exit.

"Yes, of course," she replies. "My place is with you," she adds.

I nod, and take her hand as we step onto the ramp. The sight that meets my eyes makes me fill with rage and I release it at once lest I hurt her unintentionally. Padmé looks up at me questioningly.

"What is it?" she asks. "What's wrong?"

I say nothing for a moment as I try to master my rage. But as I look around the nearly empty hangar, it only grows. There are but a handful of clones standing at attention, not even an entire squadron, and Tarkin is no where to be seen. He has sent a junior officer to greet us. There is no doubt in my mind that this is a deliberate slight on his part- it will not go unpunished.

"Lord Vader…I am Captain Cassio Tagge," the young man says. He is clearly uncomfortable with having been put into this position. I can see in his mind that he despises Tarkin as much as I do- perhaps this officer is someone I can work with. "Lady Vader," he says, bowing to Padmé next, "welcome to the Death Star. I've been given the task of…"

"Where is Tarkin?" I interject angrily.

Tagge's eyes move nervously between Padmé and me and he swallows hard, no doubt expecting that these are the last moments of his life.

"My Lord, he was…detained," he tells me with remarkable composure. "You see, the weapons array.."

"I don't give a damn about the weapons array," I snap. "I want to see Tarkin. Now!"

Tagge nods. "Of course my lord," he replies. I can almost see his smile. "Please allow me to take you to him."

"By all means," I mutter as Padmé and I fall into step behind him.

"Please calm down," I hear Padmé say beside me.

I look down at her. "Don't ask that of me," I tell her. "He has gone too far this time."

Padmé's tension level rises even more, but it can't be helped. I will not allow this blatant slap in the face go unchallenged.

Padmé says no more as Tagge leads us to the command center of the space station. No doubt she knows how angry I am and knows better than to dissuade me from my course of action.

As expected, Tarkin is doing nothing when we reach the command centre. I watch him for a moment as he makes idle chit chat with a young female officer whose pants he's no doubt trying to gain access to.

"Governor Tarkin, how pleasing to see you," I announce as I step into the command centre. He looks over at once, the sound of my voice startling him. I can sense his anxiety level skyrocket as I approach him. He pastes an insipid smile on his face, glancing at Padmé briefly.

"Lord Vader," he says with a smile. "Or should I say _your majesty," _he says, bowing elaborately. "You honour us with your presence," he adds.

"Spare me your empty flattery, Tarkin," I snap. "I'm not a fool. Don't think for a moment that your little stunt has gone unnoticed."

"Stunt?" he replies. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Sire," he replies.

My anger reaches its zenith, and with a rapid move of my left hand I send Tarkin across the room. He crashes into a console on the other side of the room, causing it to smash.

"Anakin please," I hear Padmé beside me. But I ignore her, and stride over to where Tarkin is struggling to his feet. The others in the room are smart enough to back off, and are simply watching the spectacle with shocked, terrified silence.

"Palpatine may have been foolish enough to find you of use," I tell Tarkin, lifting him by the front of the tunic with one hand. "But I have never found you to be anything but an irritant," I tell him. "And now this," I add, relishing the fear I feel emanating from his broken body. "You _dare _to insult me and my empress in such a blatant manner," I tell him, putting slight pressure on his larynx. "You _dare _to presume that I would not take offense," I add, increasing the pressure. "You have presumed too much this time, Governor," I conclude, slowly crushing the life from him. "Go join your master now in Hell where you belong."

I watch as the life drains from him and then toss his lifeless body onto the floor. I then turn to the others in the room. "Clean this up," I tell them. "I want all senior officers to meet in the main conference room in twenty minutes," I add walking towards the door. "That includes you, Tagge," I add. "You're promoted to General."

He is too shocked to say anything and simply bows in response as I exit the room. Padmé follows me. She says nothing, but I can feel her shock, her revulsion. Perhaps now she understands why I didn't want her to come along.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I am numb as I follow Vader out of the command centre. I knew that he would probably kill Tarkin, but somehow seeing him do it was far worse than I'd anticipated. Perhaps it was the sheer brutality of it, the way Vader toyed with him first before taking his life. It was cruel- like watching a cat toy with a mouse before finally killing it. But I think the biggest thing reason that I'm so shaken by the entire incident is that witnessing it has unleashed memories of Mustafar, of what my husband did to me on that day.

He says nothing to me, no doubt sensing how upset I am. We walk silently through the vast corridors of the space station, officers and men bowing respectfully as we encounter them along the way. I am surprised that he's allowing me to participate in this briefing- but I suppose if I'm to rule in his stead in a few weeks he realizes that I need to be.

"Tarkin is dead," Vader begins as the men sit in silent fear around a large table. "The Death Star is vastly behind schedule due to his incompetence and blatant abuse of his authority. I am putting General Tagge in command," he continues, stopping as the men are foolish enough to react to this statement.

"But sir, Tagge is far too inexperienced to command this station," a smarmy looking man with large nostrils speaks up. "This station is the ultimate power in the universe! Surely you don't mean to place its control in the hands of someone so green."

Vader says nothing for a moment, and I brace myself for his reaction.

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've created," he says at last. "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

The man has the poor sense to lift an eyebrow at this point.

"Clearly you don't believe in the Force," Vader states staring at the officer who blanches visibly under his scrutiny.

"I…I didn't say that, Lord Vader," he stammers. "It's just that…" he stops as the air is choked from him.

"I find your lack of faith…disturbing," Vader taunts as the man's face turns blue. Finally he slumps to the table, dead. The silence around the table speaks louder than any comments that could be offered at this point. I look at the men, and I don't need Force sensitivity to know how horrified they are.

"As I was saying," Vader says as though nothing happens. "General Tagge is in command. I will arrange for you to attend the training academy on Imperial Centre," he adds, addressing Tagge at this point. "You will receive special command training that you will need."  
"Thank you sir," Tagge replies. He looks nervously around the table, no doubt sensing the animosity the other men feel towards him.

"I want this station operational within three months," Vader continues. "I happen to know that Tarkin was pilfering money from the budget, thus the long delay," he adds. "That problem has been eliminated, therefore there is no reason that the station cannot be completed in a timely fashion. A legion of my personal guard are being stationed here just in case there are any more …problems." No one present is foolish enough to misunderstand this. Vader's personal guards are notorious and very good at what they do.

"I will be staying on board for a few days," Vader announces. "Just to ensure that the change in command goes smoothly," he adds. He looks at me, for the first time since we arrived, and then back at the men. "Dismissed," he says, standing up. The men all stand up at once, and then file out of the room, trying not to run. Vader and I are left alone, and I find myself uncomfortable in his presence.

"I've arranged for quarters for you," he tells me. "Would you like to go there now?" he asks.

"Yes please," I reply. He nods and then takes my hand and leads me out of the room. Normally I'm more than happy to hold my husband's hand; but having just witnessed what his hands have just done, I find myself uneasy with the contact.

We say nothing to each other as we walk along, no doubt he knows how I'm feeling. I want to say something to him, but I know it will only end in us quarrelling. Somehow, however, I don't think that can be avoided this time.

"Is there something bothering you?" Vader finally asks when we enter a large suite.

I walk over to the sofa and sit down. "Why would you ask that?" I reply.

Vader walks over and sits down across from me. "You're very quiet," he replies. "I know you well enough to know that means you're upset."

I look away for a moment, trying to choose my words carefully. "Well, if you want to know, I am," I tell him, looking over at him.

"Why?" he asks.

I frown. "Do you really have to ask?" I say. "What I just witnessed was…horrible," I tell him. "I was sickened by it."

He is silent for a moment, and I can tell he's getting angry. "I did what needed to be done," he says finally. "I won't take insubordination."

"No, clearly not," I reply.

"What would you have me do, Padmé?" he asks. "Allow Tarkin to get away with such a patent display of disrespect?"

"No," I reply. "But toying with him the way you did…was that necessary?"

"It sent a message," he counters.

"Yes I'm sure it did," I agree.

"So why do you have a problem with that?" he asks.

I look away again, as memories of Mustafar fill my head again. "Because it makes me think about what you did to me," I tell him quietly, not looking at him. "I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of your anger. I will have nightmares about it for the rest of my life."

Vader says nothing, but stands up and walks across the room. I watch him, waiting for his angry retort. "I thought you'd forgiven me for that," he says finally, his back to me.

"I have," I reply. "But that doesn't mean I will ever get over it," I add.

"No, clearly," he replies. "That is a moment neither will ever get over, Padmé," he continues. "I wish with everything that I am that I could undo it, but I can't," he says.

"You've said as much before," I remind him. "But no one can do that."

"No, no one can," he agrees. "And yet we keep returning to it."

I frown and stand up. "Do you think I _want _ to think of it?" I ask him. "Do you think I enjoy reliving that?"

"Of course not," he retorts.

"I can't help it if I'm reminded of it," I add. "Forgive me for doing so."

"You insisted upon coming with me, Padmé," he reminds me. "I warned you not to, but you wouldn't hear of it. I don't know what you expected when we got here. Did you think I would shake hands with Tarkin and make friends with him? Did you think that I'd embrace him and forgive him for all that he's done in the past?"

Now he's really making me angry. "There's no need for sarcasm," I tell him. "You asked what was bothering me, and I told you. Perhaps you'd have preferred it if I'd lied and said nothing at all!"

"I'm beginning to think that I would!" he retorts.

I stare up at him, knowing that behind that mask his eyes are sulphuric yellow right now: another image I will never forget.

"I'm leaving," I tell him, walking to the door. "I won't stay here another minute when you're like this."

"Fine," he replies. I walk to the door, half expecting him to stop me. But he doesn't, and so I continue on my way. I walk to the turbo lift, fighting the tears as I do so. It's hard to believe that just last night we were so close to one another, and now…

"Lady Vader, may I help you?"

I stop when I realize that I'm being addressed by one of Vader's men, Captain Rex.

"Yes," I tell him. "I want to go home."

He nods. "Of course," he replies. "I'll take you myself."

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

"Come on big shot, I dare you," I taunt.

Luke grins as he circles me. "Your confidence is your weakness," he declares.

"Yeah, sure thing," I reply and move forward with a quick thrust of my lightsaber. Luke is fast though, and deflects it easily.

"What were you saying?" he teases.

I frown, annoyed with his arrogance. "Shut up and fight," I snap. Luke smirks at my annoyances and the fight continues. We're pretty easily matched, him and I, and our duels often end in draw. Luke has the advantage and size and strength, but I'm faster than him, and more agile. It seems we've each inherited our father's abilities, only he had it all before his accident; strength, speed, agility and certainly size. I can't wait to see him in action after he's had his surgery.

Suddenly I get a strong sense of Mom, and stop. Luke looks at me questioningly and stops too.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Mom is on board," I tell him. "She…she just arrived," I add.

Luke focuses for a moment and then nods. "Yeah she is," he agrees with a frown. "I wonder why," he says aloud.

"She's upset," I realize, frowning also. "Something has happened."

Luke nods. "Let's go find her," he suggests.

We leave the gymnasium and head for our home, judging that Mom would go there first. Threepio looks at us in surprise as we enter, and launches into a lecture about not doing our homework. We ignore him, as usual, and head for our mother's bedroom.

"She's in there," Luke says, looking at the door. "Should we go in? or leave her alone?"

I reflect for a moment. "I'm going in," I decide, and step forward, activating the door sensor. The door slides open, and I walk inside. Luke follows me.

"Mom? You okay?" I ask. Mom is unpacking her bag, which is not a good sign. She looks up at us, and it doesn't take a Force sensitive to see that she's been crying.

"Not really," she admits as she hands me a blouse to hang up.

"What happened?" Luke asks as he sits on the end of her bed.

Mom frowns. "Your father and I had a fight," she tells us.

"We kind of figured that," Luke remarks. "But you're not usually this upset," he adds.

Mom looks at him, and then sits down on the edge of the bed beside him. "Am I kidding myself, kids?" she asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask, sitting on the other side of her.

"I mean, am I foolish to think that your father will ever be anything but a Sith?" she asks.

I have no idea how to respond to this question, and, judging from Luke's silence, neither does he.

"What happened, Mom?" Luke asks. "What did he do?"

Mom sighs. "He…killed Governor Tarkin," she tells us. "As well as Admiral Motti," she adds. "And he did it with no compunction, no sense of regret at all. It was like he…enjoyed doing it."

"Why did he kill them?" I ask.

"Tarkin was killed for insulting us," Mom replies. "Or at least that's how your father perceived it," she adds. "He wasn't there to welcome us, and then tried to explain why. Your father didn't want to hear it, and …killed him."

I can't deny that I'm horrified by my mother's description of what happened, but I'm not entirely surprised. Dad's never been one to put up with breaches of protocol or bad manners. And he hated Tarkin- big time.

"What about Motti?" Luke asks.

"He was foolish enough to question the existence of the Force," Mom tells us. Luke and I whistle simultaneously.

"That's pretty bad," Luke says.

"Yes, but worthy of death?" Mom asks, getting up again. She walks over to her suitcase and continues unpacking. "I know what your father is like," she tells us. "I'm not a fool- but when I watched him choking those men, I couldn't help but be reminded of Mustafar."  
So that's it…no wonder she's so upset.

"That's totally understandable," I tell her. "And if you told Dad that I'm sure he…"  
"I _did _tell him," Mom interjects. "That's how the fight started."

"How? I mean- why would that start a fight?" Luke asks. "I know he feels terrible about Mustafar."

Mom sighs again. "Yes, he's told me as much many times," she agreed. "And yet when I told him how I felt, he got angry, and accused me of …returning to it again and again," she tells us.

I'm so shocked I can't say anything for a minute. Luke says nothing either, and I can sense that he's as shocked as I am. More than that, he's angry. So am I.

"I can't believe he did that," Luke says finally, the anger clear in his voice. "Who does he think he is anyway?"  
Mom looks over at him. "Luke, don't speak disrespectfully of your father," she says. Even now she defends him. She loves him so much even when he's hurt her she won't let anyone speak badly about him.

"Time for dinner," she said. "You two have an early tutorial tomorrow, so early bed time tonight."

Neither Luke and I dare to comment, and follow our mother into the kitchen to help her with dinner.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

It's late at night, and I can't fall asleep. I'm so angry, and it bothers me that I feel this way. I know how dangerous anger is- I know what it did to my father. And yet, I can't help it. How could he treat Mom that way? After everything that he's put her though, after all the grief she's suffered because of him- he has no right to treat her that way. He should be kissing the ground she walks on, and begging for her forgiveness every day for the rest of his life. But she's right- he's a Sith, and as a Sith he doesn't see that the things he does hurt her. I know Mom is hoping that the surgery Dad has will change him more than just physically- we're all hoping that. But what if it doesn't? What if the Darkness remains? What if all that power only makes it worse? I'm not sure how much more tension Mom can take. And why should she? She deserves more than that. So much more. Perhaps it's time someone reminded Dad of that. And maybe it's up to me to do it.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 29 _Voice of Luke Skywalker _

My mother and sister are asleep as I sit before the computer console. My palms are sweaty as I summon up the nerve to contact my father. He won't like what he'll call my interference- but I don't care. My mother is hurting, and I need to do what I can to make things better. Dad killed an entire village of Tuskens when they harmed his mother- surely he of all people will understand how I feel.

"Luke, what are you doing up at this hour?" are the first words out of my father's mouth when he sees me on the screen.

"I can't sleep," I tell him.

"Why not?" he asks. "Worried about your trig test?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm worried, but it's not about school."

"What then?"

"I'm worried about Mom," I tell him. I can sense his reaction immediately- he's not happy.

"Why?" he asks, putting up his mental shields.

"She…she told me about the fight you two had," I tell him, figuring it's pointless to keep the truth from him. "She's very upset, Dad. I'm worried about her."

Dad says nothing for a long time, and I half expect him to end our transmission.

"Your mother and I have some issues to deal with," he says finally. "But that isn't your concern, Luke," he adds. I expected that.

"It is when it affects my mother," I say, surprising myself with my nerve.

"I'm not sure I like your tone, boy," he replies, his own tone growing angry.

"I'm sorry," I reply. "I…I don't mean to be disrespectful," I add. "But I love Mom, and I hate seeing her hurting. And from what I can tell, you hurt her pretty badly with your words, your attitude. She doesn't deserve that, Dad."

Dad is silent again, and I can sense that his emotions are confused now. He's angry- but at least he's thinking about what I'm saying. I decide to take advantage of his silence and continue.

"You love Mom," I say. "I know that- and I know how much you regret the past. But when you hurt her, it's like you don't care at all. Can't you see that?"

Dad doesn't say anything in response, which is really frustrating. I can't tell if he's listening to me or not. I've said all I wanted to say, and know that if I push too hard I will probably regret it.

"Your concern for your mother is admirable," he says finally. "But you do need to mind your own business," he adds. "Go to bed."

With that he ends the transmission. I sit there for a few minutes trying really hard not to cry. I'm frustrated, angry and scared all at once. Have I made a big mistake? Was it wrong of me to interfere? I need to stand up for my mother, though- if my father won't consider her feelings, then I have no choice but to do so. And if he does love her like he claims to, he will understand that.

I get up and head off to bed, hoping that I've helped the situation and not made more of a mess of things.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

My son has always reminded me of myself, but never more so than right now. His fierce protectiveness of his mother brings to mind that terrible night when I found my own mother, beaten and dying in the Tusken camp. I remember the rage I felt when I saw her face, when I sensed her pain. Luke is every bit as in tune with his own mother as I was with mine. And he's worried about his mother's pain.

I stand up and pace in my quarters, knowing that I won't sleep now. Why did I get angry at Padmé, anyway? Was it because she reminded me of the past? Of the monstrous way I attacked her? She has forgiven me but will never forget it. How could she? How could anyone forget such a thing? She's been emotionally scarred for life by what I did to her on that day. Her life was torn apart by what I did on that day. She will have to deal with the repercussions of it for the rest of her life. So is it surprising that she was so upset earlier today? _ I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of your anger. I will have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. _

Standing up I know what I have to do, and now that I won't rest until it's done.

All is quiet as I enter my family's quarters. I check in on the twins first, and find them both asleep. I watch each of them sleep for a few moments, marvelling that they are part of me. They each seem to have inherited the best of both Padmé and me.

I enter Padmé's room next, and know at once that she's in the midst of a nightmare. She is tossing about on the bed and I go to her at once.

"Padmé, wake up," I say, sitting on the edge of her bed. "You're having a nightmare- wake up!"

Padmé opens here eyes and looks about for a moment, disoriented. I can sense her uneasiness when her eyes light upon me at last. "What are you doing here?" she asks as she pulls the covers up. Clearly I have seriously damaged the relationship that has been so slow in coming over the past weeks.

"You were having a nightmare," I tell her again. "What was it about?"

She frowns and sits up in the bed, her entire body tense. I know at once that she has been dreaming about me.

"Why are you here?" she asks, ignoring my question just as I'd ignored hers. "It's the middle of the night."

I'm not sure what to say, how to explain the burning need I felt to come to her without delay. I haven't the words I need to express how I feel, and she is far too hurt to try and guess.

"I …I needed to see you," I say at last.

"Why?" she asks warily.

"I don't like the way things were left between us," I tell her, speaking from the heart. I'm unaccustomed to doing so- I've spent the past sixteen years smothering my feelings. "I know I hurt you, and I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Her eyes soften, but only slightly. "You did hurt me," she replies quietly. "You can't imagine how much it hurt hearing you talk to me the way you did."

I look down at the quilt on the bed, unable to face her any more. "I can," I tell her. "I can…feel it," I explain. "And it makes me feel horrible, just …horrible."

She says nothing in response, no doubt her forgiveness will not come easily.

"When I think about the past, I am astonished that you are able to be with me," I tell her. "I have no right to you any more, no right to your love, your forgiveness," I continue. "And yet even knowing that, I still manage to find more ways to hurt you."

Padmé remains silent for a moment, and I can sense the ambivalence of her emotions.

"Why is that?" she asks. "Is it just that you don't know me any more? Or that you don't care about my feelings?"

I look up at her at once, troubled by her questions. "No, that's not it at all," I tell her.

"What is it then?" she asks. "Is this what I can expect from you now? Thoughtless, hurtful cruelty, and then an apology? Is that what my life has become?"

I don't know what to say, and, after a moment, stand up. Padmé watches me, her surprise evident on her face as I take a knee beside her bed. "It occurred to me recently that this is what I ought to be doing," I tell her. "Begging you for forgiveness on my knees," I tell her. "And that's what I'm doing right now," I add.

Padmé looks down at me, and I can see her eyes misting over. "Get up," she says. "I know how much it hurts you to kneel."

"I don't care," I reply. "I don't mean to hurt you, Padmé," I tell her. "I've never wanted to hurt you, and yet I know that I have. Repeatedly. I don't know why that is- you mean more to me than anyone in the universe," I continue. "I love you more than my own life," I add.

Padmé's eyes brim with tears, and, finally, she smiles. "Get up," she says again, her tone much softer.

I stand up, ignoring the jarring pain in my knee as I do so, and look down at her, not knowing what to expect at this point. Padmé reaches her hand out to take mine, and pulls me down to sit on the bed with her. I pull her onto my lap, desperate to be close to her. Padmé curls up into my embrace.

"I love you too," Padmé tells me. I'm not certain I deserve it, but I'm forgiven once more.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

I'm just sitting down to eat breakfast when Dad comes out of Mom's room. I couldn't be more surprised to see him, and I'm sure my shock shows on my face as I look up at him.

"Good morning Leia," he says. "You're up early today."  
"Uh…yeah…well we have an early tutorial," I reply. "What are you doing here, Dad? I thought you were at the Death Star?"

"I was," Dad replies. "But I needed to see you mother. I owed her an apology."

I'm _so _relieved to hear this!

"Yeah, she told us about the fight you two had," I tell him.

Dad nods as Luke walks in the room.

"Dad!" he says. He's as surprised and pleased to see Dad as I am.

"You're here!"  
Dad nods. "Yes I am," he replies. "Someone made me see what a jack ass I was being," he remarks.

Luke smiles. "I never said jack ass," he replies.

"Not in so many words, no," Dad replies. "But please, be sure to tell me whenever I'm being one, okay?"

Luke's smile grows. "You got a deal," he replies. Seems things are going to be okay after all.

"Good morning everyone," Mom says as she enters the room. I can sense at once that she is happy again, and relief fills me once more.

"Good morning," Dad replies, turning to her. "I hope you slept well."

"I did, thank you," she replies. She smiles at him, and I can tell that things are back to where they were between them. They love each other so much it's almost ridiculous. I hope some day I have that with …someone.

"Are you going back to the Death Star?" I ask him. "Or is everything under control there now?"

"I must return I'm afraid," Dad tells us. "I need to do a thorough inspection of the station. Perhaps the two of you would like to come with me," he asks us, to my surprise. "I know how eager you've been to see it."

"No way!" Luke exclaims. "Awesome!"

I can tell how stoked Luke is about going- but it's more than the station he's excited about. It's a chance for him to spend time with Dad. And as much as I'd like to see it too, I think I'd like to give my brother the chance to spend time alone with our father.

"I'll go another time, Dad," I tell him. "I have something I want to talk to Mom about."  
"Oh? Something I should be concerned with?" he asks.

"No...girl stuff," I reply, knowing this will take him off the scent immediately.

"Oh, well, in that case," Dad says, uncharacteristically nervous. "I'll leave you two alone to talk. Luke, are you ready?"

"Give me three minutes," Luke says as he bolts for the door to his room. "I'll be right back!"  
Mom laughs. "He's certainly excited, isn't he?"

Dad nods. "He has a great interest in engineering," he replies.

"Like father like son," Mom replies. "How long will you be gone?"

"I'll return Luke later tonight," Dad tells. "I'm not sure how much longer I will need to spend there. Hopefully not long."

"Isn't the medical center going to be contacting you soon, Dad?" I ask him.

"Yes," he replies. "It should be very soon now. But I'll be finished with the Death Star in plenty of time."

Luke dashes back into the room at this point, running his hands through his messy hair in an attempt to tame it. "Ready!" he declares.

"Very well," Dad says, putting his arm around Luke. "Let's be off. I will see you later," he says, tugging affectionately on the end of one of my braids. "And you," he adds, touching Mom's face next. She gives him a smile that I'm sure melts his heart. They leave together, leaving me and Mom alone.

"Now, did you really want to talk to me about something?" Mom asks. "Or did you just want to give Luke time alone with your father?"

I smile at Mom. She's so smart.

"Both I guess," I tell her.

Mom nods. "I thought so," she replies, walking over to start breakfast. "So what's on your mind?"

I sit down at the table and watch her, wondering how to tell her what I want to tell her. "It's about a boy," I tell her finally. " Well…not a boy actually, he's more of a man."

Mom stops what she's doing and turns to me. "Are we talking about Han Solo here, Leia?" she asks.

I nod.

Mom frowns, and turns back to what she's doing.

"Leia, you know how I feel about that," I tell her. "He's ten years older than you, and a man. You're a teenage girl. It's completely inappropriate."

I frown. "I know…but I can't help it, Mom. It's like ..he's my destiny."

"Oh please," she replies.

"Well, you met Dad when you were younger than me," I remind her. "And you knew that he was your destiny."

"Yes, but we were _both_ children," I reply. "And besides, we didn't get involved until ten years later when we were adults. Both of us."

"But.."

"Leia, what you're feeling is simply a crush," Mom tells me. "Nothing more. Han is young and handsome and funny- you're bound to be attracted to him. But that doesn't mean you're in love with him. Trust me."  
I sigh. She doesn't understand, which kind of surprises me. I don't think anyone can understand how I feel. But I know that it's more than a crush- I just know it. And if no one believes me, then I'll just have to prove them all wrong some day.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 30 _ Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I feel like I'm walking two metres above the ground as I step out of the shuttle at my father's side. This is like a dream I've had so many times in my childhood I can't count. The hangar is huge, and full of amazing looking ships and clones doing their jobs. And my father is in charge of all of them. It's awesome.

"How many hangars are there like this?" I ask Dad as we walk through the huge area.

"Twenty four," Dad replies. "Or, at least that's the plan," he adds. "It's not finished yet, not even close."  
"How is that possible?" I ask. "Haven't they been working on it for like...ten years?"  
"More like 20, or close to it," Dad replies. "The late Governor Tarkin was quite adept at pilfering Imperial funds earmarked for this station," he explains. "So many things that should have been finished aren't, due to hold ups and shortages in supplies. It's been nothing short of a disaster."

I nod in understanding, looking around. "Well, it's pretty amazing if you ask me," I tell him. "Even if it's not finished yet."

Dad doesn't reply, and I get the feeling that he isn't as impressed as I am. What was it he called this place? A technological terror?

"So …what's the primary purpose of this place anyway?" I ask him as we step onto a turbolift. "Just to scare the crap out of everybody?"

"Pretty much," Dad replies. "It was conceived of by the late emperor, whose paranoia knew no bounds," he explains. "When the Empire began, he wanted an instrument of terror, something to cow treasonous worlds with the threat of annihilation. This is what technologists of the Confederacy of Independent Systems came up with."

I look up at him in surprise. "You mean, the separatists?" I ask.

Dad nods. "Yes," he replies. "Palpatine was allied with them all along," he explains. "He created the crisis, the entire separatist threat to justify the creation of the clone army, which he eventually used to seize control of the galaxy. Of course, no one knew that at the time. Not even me."

"Whoa," I say softly. "Sounds like he had this planned for a long time."

Dad looks at me, and I can feel the hatred surging through him. Maybe talking about the emperor isn't such a good idea.

"From the day he first met me, he had it planned," he says. "He groomed me since I was a child, Luke," he continues as we leave the lift now. "Feeding my ego, befriending me, while all along planning to use my abilities to further his own selfish and vain ambitions. I hope he's burning in Hell right now," he adds bitterly.

I have no clue how to reply to this, and simply nod like a simpleton. Note to self: _don't _ask questions about the emperor. Ever.

"Welcome back Lord Vader," a man with the insignia of a general says in greeting when we reach a command station. He looks at me with curiosity, but is smart enough not to ask any questions.

"Luke, this is General Tagge," Dad says. "He is in command of this station. General, my son, Luke."  
Tagge bows before me and I have to try hard not to laugh. "It's an honour to meet you, your highness," he says.

"Thanks," I reply. This is wild!

"I'm giving my son a tour," Dad explains.

"Very good sir," Tagge replies. "I hope you enjoy yourself," he says to me with a smile.

"I'm sure I will," I reply. We walk away to start our tour.

It's weird being addressed as Your Highness- but I guess I'm a prince now that my father is emperor. Leia's used to being treated like a princess- but me? I was a farmer for the first sixteen years of my life. And now to be getting the royal treatment, literally, is very strange.

Everyone on the Death Star is very eager to please my father. I can sense their fear as we talk to them or pass by. I know why they fear him- but it still freaks me out that they do. I know my father better than almost anyone, and I know that there's a lot more to him than simply the terrifying Sith Lord that the galaxy has come to fear over the past sixteen years.

"You enjoyed your tour?" Dad asks as we board the shuttle several hours later.

"Sure did," I reply. "This place is amazing! I can't believe there are 24 bridges!"

Dad nods. "One for each sector," he explains. "Of course, they're far form complete," he adds.

"I noticed that the weapons array is still not finished either," I tell him. "Doesn't that make the station vulnerable?"

"I suppose so," he replies. "But given the fact that it's unlike anything the galaxy has ever seen, it wouldn't be an easy target."  
Right….where do you shoot? The thing's a giant ball.

"Besides," Dad adds. "The Rebels haven't the fire power to do any serious damage, even if they did manage to find it," he continues.

I nod, wondering what Dad would do if he knew that Bail Organa was a part of the Rebellion. Leia's pretty stressed about him finding out, I know it. I can't blame her for that. We'll just have to make sure that Dad never finds out. I can't imagine how things would blow up if he did.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

Luke is full of excitement when he arrives home with his father. I know it's simply the reaction of a sixteen year old boy, but it unnerves me that he's so enamoured of the Death Star. I wonder if his father has told him the true purpose of it- how it's main function is to bully, intimidate or even annihilate any and all opposition to Imperial rule. I know that so long as it exists the Rebellion will never stop trying to find ways to destroy it. Vader doesn't know how resourceful the Rebellion is or else he'd have more respect for them.

I've decided not to tell Vader about the conversation I had with Leia about Han Solo. I'm sure he's aware of the crush she has on him – but whether or not he knows how serious her feelings are, I'm not certain. I'm sure that what she's feeling is only a typical crush that most sixteen year old girls have all the time- but somehow I don't think her father would be as understanding.

"So things are in hand?" I ask Vader as we sit down together. The children are in bed, Luke's exhausted after his long day. I think my husband is too, but it's so hard to tell when I can't see his face.

"I believe so," he replies. "I've given them a rather short timeline," he explains. "Hopefully they won't screw things up too much," he adds.

I nod, trying to tread carefully around this subject. The last thing I want is another fight. "And once it's done?" I ask tentatively. "What then?"

Vader says nothing for a moment, and I regret my question at once.

"Then it will fulfill the function it was designed for," he replies finally.

I nod. In other words, terrorizing the galaxy.

"I have begun drawing up a list of names," he tells me. "You will need to be aware of my enemies when you are in charge."

I frown. "I thought your enemies were all…taken care of," I reply.

"The greatest ones, yes," he replies. "But there are far too many to eliminate them all in a matter of months. Have no fear, I will deal with them," he assures me.

His words leave me cold, and I'm reminded once again what a ruthless man my husband is.

"I need to get to the bridge," he says, standing suddenly. Perhaps he has sensed my uneasiness, and wants to avoid a fight as much as I do.

"You should be hearing from the surgeons soon," I remark as I walk him to the door.

"Yes," he agrees.

"I can't wait to see your face again," I tell him.

He nods, looking down at me as he stands in the doorway.

"I wish you would let me see it now," I continue. "Luke told me that you can take off your mask in your hyperbaric chamber."  
"That's true, I can," he replies. "But I don't want you to see what I look like now, Padmé," he adds.

I frown. "Do you think I would love you less?" I ask him. "I know what you went through, it's not like I would be shocked."

He shakes his head. "Do not press the issue, please," he asks.

"Very well," I say. "It's just that…it would be so nice to kiss you again."

"That will happen soon enough," he reminds me. "As well as many more pleasant things," he adds, touching my face.

I smile, knowing exactly what he's talking about. "Yes, you're right," I reply. "I suppose I'll just have to be patient."

"You're good at being patient," he reminds me. "Far more patient then me. The fact that I dream about you every night doesn't help matters."

"You do?" I ask.

Vader nods. "Yes," he replies, stroking my face lightly. "Highly erotic, sexually charged dreams," he confides in me. "It's frustrating as hell."

I laugh. "Oh dear," I reply. "I suppose we'll have to do something about that once you've recovered from your surgery," I tell him.

"I plan to," he tells me. "In fact, I plan to do very little else for the first few days."

Now he's not the only one who's frustrated.

"You should go now," I tell him. "This conversation is getting too intense."

"You're right," he replies. "Goodnight," he says.

"Goodnight," I reply. I watch him as he walks away down the corridor and disappears around the corner, knowing that he won't be the only one having interesting dreams tonight.

_Voice of Darth Vader - several days later _

The day I have been waiting for has finally arrived- the surgeons are ready for me, they are ready to proceed with the surgery that will change my life. My entire family is excited, I know how anxious they are to see me whole again. No one is more anxious than me, however; I have lived with these injuries for close to seventeen years now. It will be like being reborn to have them finally repaired.

Padmé and the twins have insisted upon accompanying me to the medical facility, and I cannot refuse them. I know Padmé will keep her word and not allow our children to see me before the procedure is complete. Perhaps it is vanity, perhaps embarrassment- I'm not quite certain. At any rate, I want the first time my children see my face to be a joyous occasion, not one rife with tension and pity. I hate pity- and I won't tolerate it even from my own family.

"This is so exciting!" Leia gushes as we travel down to the planet surface via shuttle. "Just think Dad, in a few days you'll be able to live like a regular person again!"  
"It's more than a few days, Leia," Luke tells her. "More like a couple of weeks, isn't it?" he asks me.

"The physicians aren't certain," I tell them. "I suppose that depends on how quickly I recover."

"You've always been a fast healer," Padmé points out. "I don't think it will take as long as they anticipate."

I hope she's right.

We are met in the vestibule of the facility by the physician who interviewed me several weeks ago. Iginla I think is her name.

"Welcome Lord Vader," she says in greeting. "And to you as well, Lady Vader," she adds.

"Thank you Doctor," Padmé replies. "This is our daughter Leia, and our son Luke," she says, turning to the twins. Iginla smiles at them, but I can sense how surprised she is that we have children. I suppose that isn't so surprising considering she only knows me as a cyborg.

"I will have my assistant show you and your children to a place where you can wait," Iginla tells Padmé. "It's very private, and has a kitchen, fresher, even a place to have a nap if you wish. It's a long procedure, as you know."

"That sounds excellent," Padmé replies. "Thank you for your consideration."

Iginla nods, and then looks at me. "Well? Are you ready?" she asks.

"Very ready, yes," I reply. As much as I'm anxious about the surgery I'm about to undergo, I can't wait to get it started.

"Then let's get things under way," she says. "If you'll follow me," she adds.

I turn to my family and accept their hugs as best as I can. I can sense how excited they are- and yet there is fear in them too.

"I will see you soon," I tell them. "For the first time for you two," I add, addressing the twins.

They smile. "We can't wait," Leia tells me.

"We'll be pulling for you, Dad," Luke adds.

I nod, and turn to Padmé next.

"We'll be together soon, Angel," I tell her, taking her face in my hands.

Padmé nods. "I can't wait," she replies softly.

I release her and follow the doctor, taking my first steps into a new life.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 31 _ Voice of Darth Vader _

I am led down a long corridor and into a room I imagine is the preparatory room. It is large and brightly lit, with metal tables and medical panels attached to them. I can feel my anxiety level rising as I look around, part of me terrified of what is coming, part of me eager to get things under way.

"The medical droid will help you get undressed," Iginla explains. "After that we will anesthetise you, and the next time you are awake, you'll be in the recovery room."

I nod in understanding. "How long will all this take?" I ask.

"I can't say for sure," she replies. "A lot of it depends on you, Lord Vader," she explains.

"I see," I reply. "Well, I'm ready," I tell her.

She smiles. "Try to relax," she advises me. "Our surgical team is the best in the quadrant. You're in very good hands, Lord Vader."

_I certainly hope so, _ I reflect. Iginla leaves and the droids approach me, their lack of human sensibilities precluding them from any fear or trepidation where I'm concerned. They assist me out of my suit as another prepares one of the tables, attaching an oxygen tent over it to support me once my mask and respirator is removed. Part of me is fearful of suffocating, unable to get enough oxygen to breath. It has been so long since I've been able to breathe without assistance that the thought of abandoning my life support system is rather unnerving. And yet, these physicians know exactly what my condition is- they know what they're doing. I simply have to trust them and put myself in their hands.

You would think after sixteen years I would be used to the condition of my body- but even now it horrified by it. Ugly, mottled scar tissue covers what's left of my own body, and the prosthetics that were so ruthlessly drilled into the remains of my limbs are awkward and ill fitting. How is it possible that all this can be repaired?

"Lord Vader, if you'll come this way," one of the droids says.

I allow the droids to take control, and lay on the metal table. I watch as they inject a large hypodermic into my shoulder, and within moments, I begin to feel sleepy. And, shortly thereafter, all is black.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

We've been ensconced in our temporary home for almost five hours now, and I know that the twins are as anxious as I am. I appreciate that the staff has gone to the trouble to furnish us with these quarters; I suppose being the Imperial Empress has some advantages.

"I'm hungry," Luke announces. Leia rolls her eyes in response.

"Is there ever a time when you' re_ not _ hungry?" she asks.

Luke shrugs as he checks out the controls of the replicator. "Sure," he replies. "I'm not hungry when I'm asleep," he tells her.

Leia shakes her head in disbelief. "How can you eat at a time like this?" she asks. "I'm too worried to eat."

Luke looks over his shoulder at his sister. "I'm worried too, Leia," he retorts. "Just because I'm hungry doesn't mean I'm not."

"I think we're all worried," I finally speak up. "Squabbling won't make any one feel better."

The twins look at one another, no doubt in silent communication, and say no more.

"How long did the doctor say the surgery would be?" Leia asks me.

"She didn't say exactly," I reply. "At least ten hours," I add.

"Whoa, that's a long time," Luke whistles as he joins us at the small table.

"It is," I agree. "But there's a lot they need to do. Your father's injuries are very extensive."

"But soon they'll be just a bad memory," Leia points out.

I nod. "True," I reply. But I know that even though the injuries will be gone, the memories we both have of that day will never be.

The door chime to our quarters sounds, and I look in alarm at the twins.

"It's okay Mom," Luke tells me. "Dad's okay."

I'm sure he's right, and get up to answer the door. It's the anaesthesiologist we met earlier.

"Hello Milady," he says. "I'm here to give you an update. May I come in?"

"Yes, by all means," I reply, letting him pass. Luke and Leia join us in the small sitting area and wait for the man to fill us in.

"The surgery is going very well," he tells us at once. "Lord Vader's vital signs have remained steady and strong," he adds.

"How much longer will it take?" Luke asks.

"It's not easy to say," he replies, "but I would estimate we're halfway through the procedure," he adds.

"So five more hours?" Leia asks.

"About that, yes," the man replies. He stands up. "I need to get back to my station," he replies.

"Thank you for letting us know how he's doing," I tell him as I walk to the door with him. "Please keep us informed."  
He nods. "I'd be most happy to," he replies. And then he leaves.

"Half way there," Luke say. "We're half way there, Mom."

I nod. "Yes, half way there."

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

I'm so tired, but I don't want to sleep, not until I know Dad is okay. I can tell that Luke and Mom are tired too, and just as worried. It's been more than nine hours now, and they are still operating on my father. Mom, Luke and I have passed the time by playing games, snacking and watching cheesy holovids. It seems like this day will never end. And then, finally, it does.

Luke answers the door, and lets in the same man who was here earlier. I guess he's a doctor or something, and involved in the whole procedure somehow. Mom's face shows how tense she is as she approaches him.

"Well?" she asks simply, too stressed even to be polite.

"We're finished," the man informs us. "Lord Vader is currently being prepared for the bacta tank."  
"Will we be able to see him in there?" I ask.

"Yes," the man replies, "and no."  
"What does that mean?" Luke asks, as confused as me.

"It means your father will be in a medical cocoon," Mom explains. "Completely covered, every part of him. So you can see him, but you won't actually see _him,_" she explains.

"Well that stinks," Luke grumbles. "I thought we'd be able to see him by now."

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait another several days for that," the man tells us. "At least a week, more likely two."

"But it will all be worth the wait," Mom reminds us.

"Yeah, it will," I agree. I'm as anxious to see Dad as he is. I guess waiting a couple of weeks more won't kill any of us.

"I think we would all benefit from some sleep," Mom says once the man has left. "I'm exhausted, and I'm sure you two are as well."

I can't deny it. Now that I now my father is okay, I'm sure I'll be asleep in no time.

"I miss Dad already," I tell Luke as we get into the bunk bed in the small room we've been given.

"Yeah me too," Luke agrees as he yawns. "Just think Leia, the next time we see him, we'll be able to see his face. Isn't that amazing?"

"Sure is," I yawn. "I can't wait."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I can actually feel the tension draining from my body as I stand under the shower. The worst is behind us now- and Vader is on his way to recovery. I know how anxious the twins are to see him- I share their impatience. Only another week or so, and then our lives will be changed forever. I try hard not to be hopeful that Vader will abandon the Darkness once he's healed- I know that transformation will be a lot more difficult. But I won't give up – he's already changed so much just in the short time the twins and I have been in his life. Now that he is free of the breath suit and mask, it can only help him abandon the Darkness that caused him to be put into them in the first place.

I'm looking forward to a nice long sleep, and have just pulled back the covers when my comlink sounds. I'm surprised that the ship would be contacting me, since I just spoke to Piett a short time ago to fill him in on Vader's surgery.

"Milady, I'm sorry to disturb you," I hear Piett's voice. He sounds very tense- and I know at once that something is wrong.

"What's going on?" I ask him.

There's a moment of silence before Piett replies. "Milady, I'm afraid your presence is needed here at once," he tells me.

"Why? Whatever it is, can't it wait until morning? I'm just about to go to bed," I tell him, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I'm afraid not, Milady," he replies. "It's the Death Star, Lady Vader," he explains. "It's under attack."

It takes me a moment to comprehend what he's telling me, for it is the last thing I expected to hear. "Under attack?" I finally say. "By whom?"

"The Rebel Alliance, Milady," he tells me. "The fleet needs direction."  
Of course they need direction- but I'm hardly the one to give it to them. And yet, I'm in charge now. Somehow I don't think the timing of their attack is a coincidence.

"Contact Han Solo," I tell Piett finally. "I want him to come down here and stay with the twins."  
"At once, Milady," Piett replies.

"Once he arrives I will come on board," I tell him, my mind racing. "I want you to assemble all the senior officers," I continue. "I need a full report of what has happened, as well as options."  
"I'll see to it at once, Milady," he replies. "And see you shortly."

I close the transmission and get dressed, my hands trembling. This isn't exactly what I had planned for when I told Vader that I could handle being in charge. But I _am _in charge, and must get a handle on things before they spiral out of control.

After I get dressed, I walk into the room where my children are sleeping. Do I wake them up and tell them what's happened? They are both sleeping so soundly, I hate to do so. And yet, I don't want them to wake up and find me gone and be worried. Indecision plagues me from all sides, and I find myself frozen for a moment as my mind races with the implications of what has happened.

"Mom? What's going on?"

I look over to see Leia looking up at me. She knows how upset I am- they always know.

"I have to return to the ship," I tell her.

She frowns and sits up at once. "Why? What's wrong?"  
I sigh. "The Death Star is under attack," I tell her. "I have to go and decide what to do about it."  
Leia's eyes widen upon hearing this. "What? Really?"

I nod. "Han is coming to stay with you and Luke," I tell her. "I have to go and be empress now."  
Leia nods. "You'll be great, Mom," she tells me, no doubt sensing how nervous I am.

I smile. "I hope so," I reply. The door chimes, and I leave Leia to answer it.

"Thank you for coming so quickly," I tell Han as he steps into the room.

"No need to thank me, Milady," he replies. "I'm just doing my duty."

I smile, knowing perfectly well that his duties do not include babysitting two sixteen year olds. "I will be in touch," I tell Leia, who has followed me. I give her a hug and kiss on the forehead. "Tell Luke what has happened," I add.

"I will Mom," she replies.

I give her one more hug and then leave, the anxiety welling up in me with every step I take.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 32 _Voice of Padmé Amidala_

The senior officers of the star destroyer are seated around a large conference table when I arrive. Immediately they all stand, and I feel very much like an empress all of a sudden.

"Be seated," I tell them as I sit at the head of the long table. Piett sits beside me, and I'm grateful for his steady, familiar presence. Most of these men I've never seen before, thanks to my husband's over protectiveness. Now I must command them. I can't help but think that they must feel strange too- after all, I've never been in a position of command over any of them. And now, at this critical juncture, it is my orders they must follow.

"We have a rather sketchy report, your Majesty," Piett begins. "There isn't a lot of information yet," he adds.

"Well, let's begin with that," I say.

"Apparently a sizable fleet of Rebel ships were responsible for the attack," one of the officers replies. "It seems as though they were quite organized, for despite the fact that they didn't target the main trench, they seemed to know where to hit the station to affect the most damage."  
"And where are they now?" I ask. "Those responsible?"  
"The Death Star's interim commander sent out what TIE fighter pilots he had at his disposal," another man informs me. "But that wasn't a lot, unfortunately. They were able to take out some of the rebel pilots, but many escaped."  
I nod in understanding. "It seems remarkable to me that this attack came now," I say, voicing something I've been pondering. "Is it a coincidence that my husband was incapacitated when they decided to make their move? I don't think so."  
"Are you implying that there is a spy at work in all this, Milady?" Piett asks.

I nod. "That's exactly what I'm implying," I say. "How else would the Rebels know that Vader was scheduled for this surgery? Is seems almost an impossible coincidence to me."  
"I hope that you don't suspect any one on this ship, your majesty," one man speaks up, his tone offended.

"No, I don't," I reply. "I know my husband would have weeded out any spies on board his ship long ago," I add. "I mean the medical facility on the planet below us. That is where the spy must be."

Piett nods. "It's logical," he replies. "But how do we find him, or her?" he asks. "Lord Vader's particular gifts have always enabled him to see the deception in others," he points out. "We have no such gifts, Milady."

"No, but I know someone who does," I reply.

"Do you mean the prince and princess?" Piett asks.

"Yes," I reply. "They are very intuitive. And they're on the planets right now. I'm certain that they could find our spy, and do so without arousing his suspicion. After all, they're only teenagers. Who would expect that they would be capable of such a thing?"

Piett smiles. "Quite brilliant, Milady," he replies. I'm gratified by his praise, and know that his opinion will go a long way in the eyes of the men around me.

"Do we have any idea of the extent of the damage?" I ask them. "What are we looking at here, gentlemen? Is it at least salvageable?"

"Our preliminary report indicates that at least seventy-five percent of the station has been damaged," one of the officers informs me. "With about half of the personnel on board killed."  
"How awful," I murmur as I think of the families of all those lost. "Have the remainder been evacuated?"

"Yes Milady," Piett informs me. "The evacuation is going on right now. There's another issue we must consider, however," he continues. "The station could become a hazard to the vicinity," he tells me.

"How so?" I ask.

"Radiation, your majesty," another man speaks up. "If it's as damaged as early reports would indicate, that would mean it's now leaking huge amounts of radiation into the surrounding system. Something needs to be done and quickly."

Yes, and what exactly would that be? "Yes, you're right," I reply. "I need options, gentlemen," I add. "I want a detailed report as soon as possible as well as any and all possible courses of action we can embark upon. I won't have an environmental disaster on our hands," I tell them. "I also want the remainder of the rebels responsible tracked down," I add.

"We'll get on it right away, Milady," Piett tells me.

"Good," I reply, standing up. The men all stand up as well. "I will go and speak to my children and get them on their assignment. Once they've found the spy, I will let you know," I tell Piett.

"Very good, Milady," he replies. I leave the room, feeling encouraged by the successful briefing. Maybe I can do this after all.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Leia has been nothing short of nauseating since Han Solo arrived. Does she really think he doesn't notice her batting her eyelashes and acting coy? It's down right embarrassing.

We've just finished breakfast when Mom contacts us on a coded frequency. Leia told me what happened so I guess that's why she's being extra cautious. I can hardly believe it's true.

"Luke, Leia, I have an important mission for you," Mom says. She's very tense, and I can tell she's under a lot of pressure right now.

"A mission? Cool!" I say as I plop down in front of the computer. "What is it?"

"There's a spy somewhere in the medical centre," Mom tells us. "I want the two of you to find him. Or her."  
Leia and I look at one another. "A spy?" Leia asks. "Why do you think that, Mom?"  
"Because the Rebels knew exactly when to attack the Death Star," she replies. "Obviously someone tipped them off that your father was out of commission for the time being."

"Makes sense," Han comments from behind us. "I'll get right on it, Milady," he tells her.

"I don't want you to be involved, Han," Mom says, much to his surprise. "I want this to be as innocuous as possible, and seeing an imperial officer will raise the suspicions of this person," she says. "Two teenagers having a tour won't," she adds.

Han nods, disappointed, but understanding nonetheless.

"We'll find him Mom," Leia assures her. "Don't you worry."

She smiles. "I know you will," she says. "Talk to you soon."

"How cool is this?" Leia says, standing up and looking at me and Han. "Our first mission as Jedi padawan!"

I grin from ear to ear. "Extremely cool," I say. "Come on, let's get started."

Leia and I are already well known in this medical facility, so it won't strike anyone as odd that we're walking around. Besides, we're bored- we're waiting for our dad to wake up. Everybody knows that. And because of that, no one will suspect that we're really on _a mission_.

"So where should we start?" Leia asks as we stroll along assuming an air of nonchalance.

"How about the cafeteria?" I joke, earning a shove from Leia.

"How about not?" she says.

"Kill joy," I mutter. "What about where Dad is?" I suggest. "They must be someone whose connected to the surgical wing if they knew when he was going to be having his operation."

Leia nods. "Okay, let's go," she says.

Most of the people in the surgical wing we have already met, but now that we know one of them is a spy, we have to be extra careful when we talk to them. Dad taught Leia and me how to search people's minds, how to read their emotions- it's incredibly cool. He's far better than either me or Leia at it- but we're pretty good. And in this case, they won't know enough to hide their thoughts from us, not knowing that we're capable of reading them.

_Anything? _Leia asks me silently as we pretend to listen to some nurse babble on about something.

_Nope, she's clean. And boring. _

_Grow up._

_Make me. _

We leave the nurse and continue our tour, making sure we pay close attention to everyone we encounter.

_This is getting us no where¸_ Leia whines.

_We can't quit now, _I remind her. _Mom is counting on us. _

_I didn't say I was quitting. _

_You just want to go back and flirt with Han._

_Oh shut up, you're such a …_

Leia stops mid thought, and I know she has sensed the same thing I have. Someone near by is thinking of murder. At the very same moment we race for the room where our father is being held in stasis, and see a man standing near the controls. Before either of us have a chance to move, he makes some quick adjustments to the controls outside of the bacta tank where Dad is. There's no doubt in either of our minds that he is tampering with the controls in order to kill our father. He is dressed like a typical orderly, but when he sees us, I can sense how nervous he becomes.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him as Leia and I move closer.

"I beg your pardon," the man replies, trying to cover up his uneasiness by appearing offended. "I happen to work here. What are you kids doing here?"

"That's our father in there," Leia tells him as we continue to approach him. "If you work here, you must know that."

"Well, I've never had the pleasure of meeting you, so I …" he starts, and then tries to dart off. Leia and I take off after him, and easily outrun him. Leia pulls her lightsaber on him and holds the tip of it to his throat.

"What did you just do to the controls?" Leia demands. "Tell us now!"  
The man smirks. "Why should I ? You're just kids. I don't need to tell you anything."

"Tell us!" Leia shouts, her anger growing.

"You're a rebel spy, there's no sense in trying to hide it from us," I tell him.

"You don't know anything," he says.

"Come on," I say. "We can read your mind, so just give up, okay? It will make things so much easier."

"Bullshit," he spits.

"That's it," Leia says, taking the man and shoving him hard. "Tell us what to do to fix his, or you can kiss your hand goodbye."  
The man's eyes dart nervously from Leia to me and back again. "You wouldn't," he says with a frown, starting to lose his bravado.

"No?" Leia says, and then slices off the man's pinkie finger. He howls in pain, and I watch my sister in disbelief. I can't believe she did it!  
"Now tell us!" she demands. "What did you do?"

"Like hell," he snarls, cradling his hand. "You think one finger is worth the life of that monster in there? I'll gladly give my whole arm if it will remove him from existence."  
Now I'm _really _mad, but I force myself to remain calm. Anger will only cloud my mind, and right now I need to focus. I focus on the man, focus on his mind. It's full of anger, full of hate for our father. I push past it and get to what I need.

"He's shut down the oxygen supply," I tell Leia. "Dad's going to suffocate if we don't fix it right away!"

Leia is frown for a moment, and then uses the com nearby. "We need help!" she calls. I run back to the bacta tank and look in vain at all the controls. I have no idea what to do, and would be too scared to try just in case I make thins worse. Luckily I don't have long to wait, for two orderlies and a droid run in at once.

"He's been tampering with the controls," I tell them, standing back and letting them access the panel. "I think it's the oxygen control."

They work fast, and judging by their heightened sense of fear, I know I'm right. Luckily they're able to get things repaired in time before Dad's life is endangered.

"Who's responsible for this?" one of the orderlies asks. I point to the man who is being held at by Leia.

"We need some security guards down here," one of them says into their comlink.

I decided to take it up a step and contact Admiral Piett. He's quite surprised and very please to hear my news.

"Excellent work your highnesses," he replies. "Is Lieutenant Solo with you?"

"No, but he's close by," I tell him.

"Have him bring the suspect to the ship," Piett tells us. "We'll deal with him from there."

"Will do," I reply, and then contact Han. He seems pretty surprised that we've found the spy so quickly, and arrives shortly after I speak to him.

"Nice work kids," he says. I can see Leia's face when he says kids, and I have to admit that I kinda feel sorry for her. "I'll take care of this dirt bag," he says, putting binder on the man and escorting him out of the room with the business end of his blaster.

"Well sis, we did all right," I say. Leia smiles, but seems troubled. I'm sure I know why.

"You did what you needed to do, Leia," I tell her. "Don't feel badly."

"I know that," she replies. "But…Luke I think I felt the Dark Side," she confides in me. "I was so angry, I really thought I could have killed him."

I have no idea what to say to her, for I too shared surges of anger. Is that the dark side? Or just love for our father?

"Leia, you _didn't _kill him," I remind her. "And you love Dad. It's not surprising that you were angry."

She nods, but I don't think she feels any better. "Come on," she says quietly. "Let's go."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 33 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I can't stop my hands from shaking – they've been shaking since Piett told me what so nearly happened to my husband. If the twins hadn't been there…how could I have been so remiss? I should have sent a squadron of clones to guard him as soon as I suspected that there was a spy in the vicinity. What if Luke and Leia hadn't found him in time? What if he'd been successful in killing Vader? It would have been my fault…and I would have had to live with that for the rest of my life.

The twins are back in the temporary quarters when I arrive, and I can see at once how upset they are. Upon seeing me they come over at once, both of them hugging me silently.

"You saved his life," I tell them, stroking their hair. "You know that, don't you?"

They both nod, but neither of them seems comforted by my words. Clearly there is more going on here than I know.

"Tell me what happened," I say, deciding that I need to hear their version. Solo obviously didn't know the whole story when he made his report.

"Well, we started looking, and didn't sense anything in anybody," Luke tells me. "And then, just when we were close to the room where Dad is, we both sensed the same thing."

"What did you sense?" I ask.

"Thoughts of murder," Leia tells me, and I feel a shiver go down my spine.

"You knew someone was thinking of murdering your father?" I ask. They both nod.

"So we ran to the place where Dad is," Luke continues, "and saw this dude hanging around the bacta tank. He looked like an ordinary nurse, or orderly or whatever," he continues. "But we both knew that he was up to something."

"So what did you do?" I ask, looking at Leia who has been strangely silent during this entire conversation.

"I …threatened him," Leia speaks up finally. "With my lightsaber."  
Now I understand. "You did?" Leia nods.

"And that's how you were able to get him to tell you what he had done?" I ask.

"No, he wouldn't tell us," Luke jumps in. "He hates Dad so much that I think he'd be willing to die to see Dad dead."

"No doubt," I agree quietly. "If he wouldn't tell you how did you get the information? Did you read his mind?"  
"Yeah," Luke tells me. "Once he was injured his guard was down, and it was pretty easy to see what was in his mind."  
"Injured? How did he get injured?" I ask. Luke looks at Leia, and I can see that he's trying to decide what to say.

"I injured him, Mom," Leia speaks up. "I …I cut off one of his fingers."

I'm too shocked for a moment to respond, but know that I must do so and do so quickly. Leia is quite clearly devastated by her actions, and she needs reassurance from me.

"You saved your father, Leia," I remind her. "Sometimes it's necessary to hurt people when you're protecting people you love."  
Leia looks at me, the anguish clear in her eyes. "Mom, I felt the Dark Side," she tells me, her eyes filling up with tears. "I felt such hatred and anger…it scares me just to think about it!"

Coldness wells up in me upon hearing this, and, once more I'm at a loss for words. How do I advise my daughter now? I know so little about the ways of the Force- and yet I know all too well how the Dark Side changed Leia's father. If that tendency towards darkness is genetic…

"Leia, it's natural for you to hate someone who poses a danger to someone you care about," I tell her, doing my best to remain calm. "Hatred is a natural emotion. You're a good person, don't be so quick to judge yourself this way."

Leia looks at me, and I know she's trying to determine if I'm speaking from the heart or simply saying what I think she wants to hear.

"I'll try not to," she says finally.

I take her face in my hands. "Leia, you and your brother saved the life of your father," I remind her again. "Focus on that."

Leia smiles ever so slightly. "I'll try," she replies.

"I've had clones posted all over the facility," I tell them. "As I should have done before. Your father won't be in any more danger."

"Good idea," Luke replies. "The nurse told us that Dad wouldn't be harmed by what happened."  
"That's a relief," I reply. "There's certainly no shortage of excitement right now, is there?" I ask them, trying to lighten the mood.

Luke smiles. "Life's boring without excitement," he remarks.

Leia snorts. "I could do with a little _less _excitement, thank you," she replies.

"Yes, so could I," I respond.

"What have you decided to do about the Death Star, Mom?" Luke asks me.

I sigh. "I'm not entirely sure, Luke," I tell him. "They tell me that it is about eighty percent damaged," I continue. "Seriously damaged, that is," I add. "And that there is a possibility that it could be leaking radiation into space because of it. Part of me thinks I should just dismantle what's left of it," I add. "But I'm unsure if this is the right decision."

"Can't you just wait for Dad to be awake?" Leia asks.

"Not if it's emitting dangerous radiation," I tell her. "I have to act quickly if that's the case."

"You know the rebels would probably love it if you did dismantle it," Luke suggests. "I mean, they wanted to destroy it, didn't they?"  
"Yes," I reply. "what's your point?"

"Think of it, Mom," he continues. "If there's no Death Star, and if you, the empress, are the one to get rid of it, that would mean a lot to them, and help make peace between the Empire and the Rebellion. Wouldn't it?"

"I suppose it would," I agree.

"Luke's right, Mom," Leia chimes in. "Getting rid of the Death Star would be a huge step towards ending the hostilities. And if you could use it as a bargaining chip, even more so."

I frown. "How could I do that?" I ask. "I'd have to be able to speak to one of the Rebel leaders," I say, looking directly at Leia. "How could I possibly do that?"

Leia looks at me, and then at Luke, who is watching her just as intently.

"I know a way," she says finally. "But…you have to _swear_ that you won't tell Dad that you've spoken to him," she adds.

I nod. "Of course I won't," I assure her. "You have my word."

Leia nods. "Okay, I'll contact the viceroy for you," she says.

I smile. "Thank you Leia," I say. "You're doing a good thing."

She looks back at me and smiles. "I hope so," she replies.

"We're not going to tell anybody," Luke assures her. "Especially Dad."

Leia nods, and sits down at the computer console. While she does this, I contact Piett to see if they have learned anything new about the situation.

"It's just as we suspected, Milady," Piett reports. "Massive amounts of radiation are leaking from the station. It will begin to affect the surrounding system in a matter of hours."

"I see," I reply. "Thank you, Piett. I'll be in contact again soon."

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

My father, my _adoptive _father is very surprised to see me. He's a little guarded, but I know he's happy to see me.

"Leia, it's been so long," he says with the smile I love so well. "How are you? Is everything all right?"

I nod. "Yes, everything's fine," I tell him. "It's good to see you."

"It's wonderful to see you, sweetheart," he replies. "I have to wonder why you're contacting me now, out of the blue," he adds, raising his guard. "You haven't been permitted to do so since you left here."

"Well, there were reasons for that," I explain. "While the emperor was alive we had to keep radio silence so he wouldn't know we were alive."  
He nods, and I can sense the hostility he feels towards my father. I have to wonder if I've made a mistake by suggesting this to my mother.

"There's something I need to ask you," I say to him. "Hypothetically."

He frowns, knowing that this is the word we've always used when discussing anything to do with the Rebellion. With spies everywhere one can never be too careful.

"Yes?" he asks.

"The Death Star," I begin, knowing that, officially, he probably knows nothing about it, "has been badly damaged."  
"I don't know what the Death Star is," he replies automatically.

"If the Empire were to dismantle what's left, would that be a good thing?" I ask, forming my question as innocuously as possible.

His eyebrows lift ever so slightly. "That's not likely to happen," he responds.

"It can," I reply. I look at Mom who's been listening to the conversation. I get up from my chair and let Mom sit down. The viceroy's face shows his shock upon seeing her.

"Hello Bail," Mom begins. "We need to talk."

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Leia is quiet as we make our way through the medical centre. I can tell that she's still upset about what happened earlier. On top of that, now she's worried too. Surely she doesn't think Mom would betray Senator Organa?

"You did the right thing," I tell her.

Leia looks at me. "I did?"

"Sure," I reply. "Contacting Senator Organa was a great idea."

"I hope so," she replies. "I'd never forgive myself if he got in trouble because of me."

"You trust Mom and me, don't you?" I ask her.

"Of course," she replies at once.

"Then why are you so worried?" I ask. "You used a secure channel," I add. "And even if someone did know you'd contacted him, so what? He was your father for many years, and you're the daughter of the emperor. Who's gonna care or do anything?"

"No one I suppose," she sighs. "I guess I'm just paranoid."

"I know what you mean," I reply. "It's hard not to be with all we've been through. But Palpatine's dead, Leia," I remind her. "And Dad's in charge. We don't ever have to worry about anyone harming us or breaking up our family again."  
Leia nods, and I sense that she feels a little better. "I just hope Dad never finds out," she says. "He wouldn't be happy."

That's an understatement. "He won't," I assure her. "He's in stasis- how can he possibly know?"

"I guess he can't," she says. "And it's not like Mom is doing something wrong," she adds. "She's trying to make things better."  
"Exactly," I agree. "He'll be grateful to her for it, I'm sure."

I'm not surprised to see clones everywhere when we reach the recovery wing. They know us well enough not to question us or ask for ID, and allow us in to where Dad is.

"I wish we could see him," Leia says as we stand outside of the enormous medical tank.

"We will soon enough," I remind her. I put one hand on the shiny, smooth surface of the vessel and try to focus on my father inside.

"What are you doing?" Leia asks.

"Trying to reach Dad," I reply.

Leia frowns. "But he's in stasis," she reminds me. "How can you?"  
I shrug. "Can't hurt to try," I reply. Leia says nothing more and allows me the quiet I need to concentrate. I can sense Dad's presence, but it's not the same as what I'm used to. Normally his Force signature is brilliant, powerful and bold- but now it's muted, subdued. I guess that's normal, considering he's unconscious.

_Can you reach him? _ Leia asks me silently.

_Not really, but I can feel him. _

_Really?_

_Yeah, try it._

Leia closes her eyes and, after a few moments, smiles. I know she feels him too.

_Hang in there, Dad,_ I tell him silently. _ Only a few more days. _

_We love you Dad, _Leia adds.

I'm not sure, but I think he heard us. I like to think he did, anyway.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 34 _Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"Death Star? What's that?"

I smile, knowing that Bail is only playing the part he must play. He daren't admit to his involvement in the Rebel Alliance, even to me. I ignore his remark, and press on.

"It's badly damaged," I tell him. "And has become a hazard to the vicinity. I'm thinking of scrapping it. What do you think?"

Bail is unable to hide his reaction to this, as his eyes widen noticeably. "Are you serious?" he asks.

I simply nod in response.

"I think that would be a very wise decision," he tells me.

"I thought you might feel that way," I reply. "Tell me, hypothetically," I continue, "so you think that this would…facilitate smoother relations between the Empire and the Alliance?"

"Undoubtedly," he replies. "I'm sure they are most anxious to see the station gone," he adds. "After all, they attacked it, didn't they?"  
"Yes they did," I agree.

"However, I'm not sure that …this course of action would be condoned by the current administration," he comments.

"I _am _the current administration," I remind him.

"Are you?" he asks doubtfully.

I smile, knowing exactly what he's thinking. "If you're worried about him finding out about this conversation, you needn't worry," I tell him. "I promise you your name will never be mentioned."

He nods, seeming more relaxed. "Very well," he replies. "I look forward to watching this development," he tells me.

"I'm sure you will," I reply. "Wish me luck."

Bail smiles. "Good luck, Padmé," he says. "You're going to need it." He ends the transmission at this point, and I sit for a moment, a knot forming in my stomach. I have to believe that Vader will understand my position – even without the added benefit of making inroads with the Rebel Alliance, the Death Star's elimination cannot be delayed. According to the report Piett sent me, the cost of repairing the damage would be greater than the amount already spent on the station. Clearly it has become a detriment, both financially and environmentally. My husband is an intelligent, pragmatic man. I'm sure he will agree with my decision.

I return to the ship, having alerted Piett to call the officers together for another meeting. The knot in my stomach tightens as I make my way to the conference room. Why am I second guessing myself? I know what I'm doing is right. Perhaps there's a part of me that is afraid of angering Vader- I know what his anger is like, and I would hate to be on the receiving end of it again. Yet, what choice do I have? I'm in charge, and something must be done. And, as far as I can see, this is the only course of action.

"Gentlemen," I begin as the officers take their seats around me. "I have determined that the best and perhaps only course of action is to destroy what is left of the Death Star," I begin. I wait for their reaction, and, other than a few shifty eyes, there is none.

"I think that is the best course of action, your majesty," Piett speaks up. "And might I suggest a controlled implosion would be the most effective manner of disposing of what's left of the station."

"Yes, that sounds perfect," I say, grateful for Piett's support. "See to it as soon as possible," I add.

"Yes Milady," Piett replies, and, after nodding at the junior officers, stands up to do my bidding. I sit back in the chair with a sigh once the room has emptied, trying to imagine how my husband will receive the news that the Death Star is no more.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

It has been a week since the death of the Death Star. Mom handled the whole thing really well, and I'm so proud of her. I know it was a difficult decision for her, but she did the right thing. From the little that I know about the Rebellion, I know that the fact that she dismantled the Death Star will go a long way in making things better between them and the Empire, And all this time while she's been dealing with this, I know she's been worried about Dad. We've all been worried, despite the steady reports on his progress. Apparently his recovery is going better than expected, which means he'll be out of the bacta tank soon. I can't wait. I don't know about Luke, but I'm getting stir crazy in this place.

"Good morning sweetheart," Mom greets me as I enter the small kitchenette in our quarters. She's insisted on staying here rather than returning to the ship, and I know it's because she doesn't want to be far from Dad. Neither do me and Luke.

"Morning Mom," I yawn as I help myself to some breakfast. "Luke still sleeping?"

"No, he's in the shower," she tells me. She's smiling, and I sense that there's something going on.

"Already?" I ask. "He's usually in his pyjamas until noon," I remark.

"Well not today," Mom says. "Today's the big day," she tells me. "The day we've waited so long for."

I don't know what she means at first, but then I realize what she's talking about. "You mean…Dad's coming out of the bacta tank today?"

Mom nods, her smile growing. "I just heard from the recovery room a little while ago," she tells me. "They've been monitoring his body mass and have decided that he's ready."

I can't believe it! Today I will finally see my father's face for the very first time.

"When can we see him?" I ask.

"They're going to remove him within the hour, and then they need to clean him up," she tells me. "They said they'd contact us when he was ready for visitors."

I smile. "I can't wait," I reply. "How long do you think it will take until he's able to get up and walk around?"

"I can't say," she replies. "I suppose the doctors will know. But knowing your father, it won't be long at all."

Of that, I have no doubt. I can't imagine how he's lived so long with that mask. Having it gone will change his life forever. It will change all our lives forever.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Finally, finally it's time to see Dad! The past two hours we've been forced to wait have seemed like two years, but now we're finally on our way. I guess they needed to clean all the junk off of him from the bacta tank first, and get him dressed. Mom says they're giving him some sort of injection to make him wake up faster. Somehow I think Dad left strict instructions for them to do that. He's not exactly the patient type.

Mom's surprisingly calm as we enter the recovery wing. I know she must be as excited as me and Leia are, but she does much better at hiding it. It's different for us though- we've never seen our father's face before. This will be the first time for both of us.

"Will he be awake when we get there?" Leia asks Mom as we pass through the security check.

"Not likely," she replies. "At least, not right away. Remember, he's been in stasis for more than a week. It will take him a little while to wake up, even with medical intervention."

I'm a little disappointed, but not really surprised. I guess waiting a little longer after all this time won't kill any of us.

Finally we arrive at the room where Dad's been brought. I can sense my mother's excitement clearly, as well as Leia's. With breath held, we stop into the room and I see him for the first time.

The first thing I notice is that he's huge. I mean…_huge_. His shoulders are as wide as the bed they have him in, and he's as tall as the bed is long. And all this time I thought it was the armour that made him so big. Maybe there's hope for me after all with his genes floating around inside of me.

The second thing I notice as we move closer is how young he is. His face is perfect- and from what I can tell with his eyes closed and very little hair, really handsome. Wow. This is my father- it's like meeting him for the first time all over again.

"He's so beautiful!" Leia is gushing, brushing tears away. "Look at him!"

Mom has said nothing but I can feel how emotional she is. She is standing beside his bed, and picks up one of his huge hands in tiny ones. I almost feel like Leia and I are intruding on this moment, but don't want to tear my eyes away from him.

"Ani? Can you hear me?" Mom says. "I'm here with the children," she continues.

Dad doesn't seem to respond, so I try in my own way to reach him.

_Dad can you hear me? _

I can sense that he's trying to respond, but he's still so groggy that it's hard for him.

_Come on Dad, you can do it, _ I tell him encouragingly.

_Luke? _

I smile. _Yeah, we're all here Dad. You look amazing. _

"Are you in contact with him?" Mom asks, watching me with amazement.

"Yeah," I tell her. "He's still pretty out of it, but he responded." Mom smiles, and tears fill her eyes.

_Take your time, Dad, _I tell him. _We're not going anywhere. _

My father's mouth moves, ever so slightly, and I could swear that he was smiling. But that might just be my imagination.

"Remarkable, isn't it?"

We look up to see Doctor Iginla standing in the room. She walks over to the bed, her eyes on Dad.

"Miraculous," Mom says. "It's like he's never had any injuries," she adds.

The doctor nods. "His healing abilities are truly amazing," she remarks. "I've never seen anything like it."  
"Probably all the medichlorians," Leia suggests.

I don't think the doctor believes in the Force, but she nods nonetheless, deciding to humour Leia.

"How long until he's lucid?" Mom asks.

"Not long," Iginla responds. "Having you here talking to him will help him come out of it," she adds.

"We can do that," I pipe up.

"Yes, we certainly can," Mom replies, looking back down at Dad. "We're not going anywhere."

I smile. _Told you so, Dad,_ I tell him silently. In my mind I can hear him laugh. And it's an awesome sound.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I'm alive- that is the first thought that enters my mind as soon as I'm capable of thinking again. I'm a little surprised actually, for after hearing the description of the surgery I half expected to wake up in the after life. But I'm alive, and right now I know that my family is here with me. My son has contacted me through the Force, and his presence is reassuring as I struggle to regain my senses.

_Can you hear me Dad? _ Leia asks me next.

_I can, _ I tell her. _I'm trying to wake up. _

_Keep trying, _she tells me. _You look fantastic. _

I do? It's been so long since I've seen my face, the way it once looked, that I can't even imagine what I look like now. It's hard to picture what I looked like, even harder to envision a life without prosthetics and artificial respirators. A normal life – finally. It seems like a dream.

"You can do it, open your eyes, Ani," I hear my wife say encouragingly. I know she's holding one of my hands. My eyelids feel so heavy that I must fight to open them. Slowly, ever so slowly I manage to open them slightly, and wince as the bright overhead lights assault them. But I know they will adjust, and so I open them again. Everything is fuzzy, the outlines of my family mere blobs of colour for a moment. I look up at my wife, focusing on her first, for her face is the first thing I want to see with my own eyes. My efforts are soon rewarded with Padmé's glorious smile beaming down at me. I smile back at her.

"Welcome back," she says, her eyes bright with tears. "You look wonderful."

"Thanks," I say, my voice still weak. Padmé bends and gives me a soft kiss, the first she's given me in almost seventeen years. It's like a piece of heaven.

I tear my eyes from Padmé's face to turn to my children next, realizing that I have yet to see their faces without the aide of artificial means. They are standing side by side, their smiles beaming the love they feel for me radiating from them. Leia says nothing, but bends down and kisses me several times, probably simply because she can now. I close my eyes and simply bask in her love, wishing I was strong enough to return her affection.

"Anakin, have a look," Padmé says. I turn back to her and take the hand mirror that she is holding out to me. I hesitate, but only for a moment, and then take it from her hand. Is that really me? The face I see looking back is a little older than the one I remember, and sadly lacking in hair, but it's my face. The scars that marred me are gone, my skin is healthy and normal again. I run one hand over my chin, and am shocked to find stubble there.

"You're gonna need a shave soon, Dad," Luke jokes.

"I think so," I agree. I hand the mirror back to Padmé and hold my hands in front of my face, examining them closely, marvelling at the perfection of them. It has been twenty years since I lost my right hand, and now I have it back. I'm whole again. I'm human again.

"I can't believe it," I say, looking up at my family once again.

Padmé nods with a smile. "It's a miracle," she says, "a true miracle."

I nod, as fatigue starts to wash over me. I fight against it, but it's no use.

"You need to rest," Padmé says as my eyelids become too heavy to hold open. She gives me a kiss on the cheek, followed by another on the other cheek from one of my children. "Sleep now, Ani," she whispers into my ear. Her voice is the last thing I hear before I drift back into a restful sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 35 _Voice of Darth Vader _

I wake up later. I'm not sure how much time has elapsed, for I'm still rather disoriented. The only thing I am sure about right now is that I'm hungry. Starving in fact. The thought of eating real food like a normal person again is immensely appealing, and it only makes me hungrier.

Opening my eyes, I notice a droid nearby who is monitoring my vitals. I wait for it to notice that I'm awake, which it does after a moment or two.

"How are you feeling, Lord Vader?" it asks me.

"Hungry," I say.

"That's to be expected," it replies. "You've been in stasis for ten days. If you'd permit me, I'd be happy to help you sit up," it continues. "Doctor Iginla left orders that you could have something to eat when you awoke."

"I don't need help," I say, determined to do this on my own. How difficult could it be to sit up in bed, after all?

The droid stands beside my bed and watches me, not lending a hand as I slide up onto my elbows. It's frustrating that I still feel so weak; but I suppose having been unconscious for so long would do that to anyone. I manage to sit up, pleased with myself for having done so.

"Very good," it says encouragingly.

I see a small table on the other side of the room, and decide I want to push myself a little further.

"I want to sit there," I tell the droid, starting to move my legs slowly to the edge of the bed.

"You shouldn't rush yourself," the droid warns me, but I ignore it. It stands by and lets me edge to the end of the bed, and waits for me to ask for help. I take a minute to look at my toes, realizing that it has been a very long time since I've even had toes to examine. I wiggle them, still astonished with the medical miracle that the surgeons have performed.

"Are you in pain?" the droid asks, misunderstanding my pause.

"No," I say. "Not at all," I tell it.

"May I assist you?" it asks. This time I decide that I could use some.

With the droid's help I get to my feet, the sensation of the cold tile on my bare feet both odd and exciting. I'm finding that my body is rediscovering sensations I'd long forgotten how to feel. Slowly I stand, half expecting the jarring pain in my knees that I always felt when I lived inside the dreaded breath suit. But there is no pain now- none whatsoever. The droid is looking up at me, no doubt expecting me to buckle over or stumble to the floor. I do neither, and, on my own power, walk to the table on the other side of the room. I walk slowly, not wanting to push myself too much. But I've never been a patient man, and the thought of lingering in bed for days as an invalid sickens me.

"Very good, Lord Vader," the droid tells me. "You're making remarkable progress."

"I know," I reply, sitting down at the table. I'm more tired than I want to admit, but it feels good to have made this much progress so soon. "What's for lunch?" I ask, looking up at the droid.

"You're to remain on a liquid diet for the first twenty-four hours," the droid tells me, walking over to the door. "Your body isn't ready for solids yet."

Like hell it isn't, I reflect. But I guess liquid food is better than none at all, and wait for the droid to return with my meal. As I am waiting, Luke and Leia enter the room. Their faces register the shock they feel at seeing me sitting at the table.

"Whoa!" Luke exclaims. "Look at you!"

I can't help but smile at his enthusiasm.

"Did you do this by yourself, Dad?" Leia asks me.

"The droid helped a little bit," I admit. "But I walked by myself."  
The twins smile in amazement, as the droid returns with my meal. As the door opens I notice that there is a clone standing outside in the corridor. I'm alarmed at once.

"Why is there a clone standing guard outside my door?" I ask the twins as the droid sets a bowl of broth before me.

Luke and Leia look at one another for a moment, and my alarm increases.

"What's going on?" I ask them, my hunger momentarily forgotten.

"Mom ordered them here," Leia tells me. "To protect you."

"Protect me from whom?" I ask. I know my children well, and know that right now they are keeping something from me. Something big.

"There was a spy, Dad," Luke tells me. "He tried to kill you," he adds. "He was messing around with the controls on your tank when Leia and I found him and had him arrested."

I'm dumbfounded. What are the odds that they would happen to be at the right place at the right time in order to stop an assassination attempt?

"How did you know there was a spy in this facility?" I ask them, watching them closely. "Surely you don't expect me to believe that you just happened to find him without some sort of prior knowledge of his presence here."

The twins look at one another again, as though trying to decide what to tell me.

"Mom figured it out, Dad," Leia tells me finally. "She knew that there was a spy here."

"How?" I ask.

"Because of the attack on the Death Star," Luke responds.

"There was an _attack on the Death Star?" _

The twins nod. "It happened just after your surgery was over," Leia tells me. "It's like they knew you were in stasis, Dad. They waited until you were to launch the attack."

Of course they would, I reflect angrily. The Rebel scum wouldn't have the balls to deal with me.

"Mom figured that they must have a spy here otherwise they wouldn't know about your surgery," Luke explains. "It's too much of a coincidence that the attack happened when it did."

I nod in agreement. "So the two of you found him," I say.

"She sent us to find him," Leia informs me. "We used the Force to do it," she adds.

"Then I owe you both my life," I say, pride filling me as I realize how strong they've become.

"We're just glad we go there when we did," Luke replies.

"After we found him Han took him into custody and took him to the ship," Leia adds. "And Mom had the clones stationed here to protect you. She was really upset, as you can imagine. We all were."

I nod thoughtfully. I never would have imagined the Rebels would go so far as to try something like this. Clearly they are more devious than I'd thought. "Have the Rebels responsible for the attack been found?" I ask.

"We don't know, Dad," Luke admitted. "We've been here the whole time."

"How bad was the damage?" I ask them.

The twins don't reply right away, and I know that, once again, they're trying to decide what to say.

"Dad, the Death Star is gone," Leia tells me. "It's completely destroyed."

Destroyed? How? How could the ridiculous rebel fleet have destroyed such a massive station?

I'm about to voice my shock when Padmé enters the room. She smiles when she sees me sitting up, and comes over to me at once.

"You look wonderful!" she declares, taking my face in her hands. "I can't believe you're already sitting up like this!"

"Not bad, eh?" I ask, trying to match her enthusiasm.

"That's something of an understatement," she replies. She runs her hair up to the stubble on the top of my head. "You'll have a full head of hair in no time," she says, rubbing the stubble playfully. "Your hair always did grow quickly."

Luke and Leia watch their mother with amused expressions on their faces. Of course Padmé has no idea of the gravity of the conversation that had been going on before she arrived.

"Luke, Leia, would you let me speak to your mother alone?" I ask them.

"Sure Dad," Leia says. "Come on Luke," she adds as she stands up, pulling her twin with her. They leave, and Padmé waits until they leave before sliding onto my lap.

"That was subtle," she says, wrapping her arms around my neck. She kisses me softly, and it takes all my will power not to lose myself in the moment. But I can't- I need to talk to Padmé about what has happened.

"Luke and Leia told me about the Death Star," I tell her. I can sense the tension in her body immediately. She sits up and looks at me, her eyes wide.

"They did?" she asks in surprise. I simply nod.

Padmé says nothing for a moment, and then gets off of my lap and walks away from me. "You know I had no choice," she tells me.

Her words confuse me. "They told me that the Rebel Alliance had attacked the station," I tell her. "What did _you _have to do with its destruction?"

Padmé's tension level rises as she continues to pace in the small room. "The Death Star was severely damaged in the Rebel attack," she tells me. "More than eighty percent of it was destroyed," she continues.

I frown, still not understanding. "Eighty percent doesn't mean it's destroyed," I point out.

"No," she replies. "I had extensive reports drawn up by the best engineering corps in the Empire," she tells me. "They told me that the cost of repairing the damage would have surpassed the amount that had already been spent on it."

I nod. "Probably," I agree.

"Not only that," she continues, "they reported massive amounts of radiation being emitted from the wreckage," she tells me. "You see, the antimatter…"  
"Padmé, you're avoiding the issue," I cut in. "How did it get destroyed?"

She hesitates for a moment before replying. "I ordered it destroyed, Anakin," she tells me. "I judged that it was the best course of action given the information that I was given."

"You…_destroyed _it?" I ask her incredulously. "_You_ did?"

She nods, her eyes troubled. "I did what I thought was best," she tells me. "Besides, you always told me how much you hated the Death Star," she adds.

"That's irrelevant," I interject. "You should have waited for me to decide how to proceed," I tell her. I realize at once that it was the wrong thing to say.

"How could I have done that?" she asks hotly, "without creating an environmental disaster?"

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that she would think of that.

"The Death Star wasn't in a heavily populated area of the quadrant," I tell her. "The damage would have been minimal. Wasn't that included in the _reports_ you were given?" I ask.

She frowns. "I did the best I could," she tells me, her voice quiet. "I wasn't exactly expecting that I'd have to deal with something of this magnitude," she continues. "But I did what I thought best, what your men advised me to do. If you're unhappy with my decisions, then perhaps you should have made alternate arrangements before you had your surgery."

I know she's angry with me, but I'm not going to apologize for my reaction. This isn't a simple error in judgement – this is huge and alters the Empire's hold on the galaxy. Without the Death Star, the Rebels will be even harder to subdue, even harder to squash out of existence. But of course my wife wouldn't see it that way. Even if she would never say it aloud, I know she is sympathetic towards the Alliance.

"I don't want to fight about this," she says finally, turning back to me. "You've just recovered, and this should be a time of rebuilding for us, for our family," she adds.

"Agreed," I reply.

"So…can we just put this behind us?" she asks, walking over to me again. "Can _ you _put this behind us?"

I look at her, feeling badly all of a sudden for my terse words. "I think I can do that," I reply, holding my hand out to her.

She looks down at my hand, and then up at me before putting her hand in mine. I pull her back onto my lap, trying to ignore the fatigue I feel threatening to overtake me.

"You should be resting," she tells me. The tension has not left her, and I know she's still upset.

"I am resting," I tell her.

"I meant lying down," she replies, standing up again. "Come on, before the nurse comes in and catches you out of bed."

I don't argue with her, and let her lead me back to the bed.

"Now rest," she tells me as she pulls the blanket up over me.

"Yes Milady," I reply with a yawn. She smiles at me and then I drift off to sleep once more.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I stand beside Vader's bed, watching him as he sleeps, wondering if he will ever truly be Anakin again. I call him Anakin, for I won't bring myself to use his Sith name.

His anger over the Death Star didn't really surprise me, but it unnerves me nonetheless. I walk away from the bed, trying to ignore the cold feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if he finds out that I spoke to Bail Organa? He is already angry with me for destroying the station- if he knows that I consulted with the Empire's greatest enemy to help me make my decision to do so….he won't find out, he _cannot _ find out. I will have to make sure of it.

"Everything okay, Mom?" Leia asks me as I step into the corridor. I'm surprised to see that the twins were waiting there all this time.

"I'm not sure," I answer, deciding it's futile to lie.

"He's angry about the Death Star, isn't he?" Luke asks.

I nod, trying to master my own emotions. "Yes, very much so," I reply.

"He'll get over it," Luke assures me. "He's just mad now."  
"I hope you're right," I reply as we walk towards our quarters.

"Once he realizes that you had no choice, he'll be fine," Leia adds.

I nod. "He must never know about the conversation I had," I tell them, knowing that they will understand what I mean. "Never."  
"He won't, Mom," Leia assures me. "Don't worry."

I hope and pray that she's right.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 36_ Voice of Darth Vader _

Sleeping is truly a wonderful thing. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep – it's been years, literally. But now that I can sleep properly, I wonder how I managed to do without it for so long. I can actually feel my body's strength increasing, the sleep having increased it tremendously. I'm on my feet before the medical droid even enters the room the next morning, and ignore its warnings to 'take it easy'. I don't want to take it easy; I've lived as half a person for so long that I don't want to waste another minute resting in bed. In fact, as soon as I'm up to it, I plan to return to my ship, doctor's orders notwithstanding.

"Lord Vader, it's too early for you to eat solid food," the droid warns me as I replicate myself a real meal.

I flatly ignore it, and sit down at the table with my food, my stomach growling at the thought of eating real food for a change. I suppose the droid knows I'd rip its arms off if it tried to take it away from me, and leaves me alone.

I eat my meal in peace, relishing every bite. Once I'm finished, I look around the room for a comm., but find none. So I do the next best thing, and go out into the corridor to where a clone trooper is standing guard.

"Lieutenant, I want you to contact Admiral Piett," I tell him. "Tell him I want him here as soon as possible."

"Yes sir," the clone replies, not reacting openly to my new face.

I walk back into my room and decide to have a shower. I don't care if the doctor approves, I don't even wait to ask if she does. I feel fantastic, and that's good enough for me.

Piett arrives within ten minutes of the end of my shower. He hasn't the luxury of a mask to hide his surprise, and shows it openly upon seeing me for the first time.

"My lord, you look wonderful!" he exclaims with a smile.

I smile. "Rather a big improvement, isn't it?" I remark. Piett has no idea how to reply, and simply continues to smile like an idiot.

"My wife told me about the Death Star," I tell him, walking over to the table and sitting down. "I want to see all the reports around this incident," I tell him.

Piett has always been good at covering his surprise where I'm concerned, and does so now. "Very good, sir," he replies. "Do you have a computer available to you here?"  
"Unfortunately not," I reply.

"In that case I shall deliver them myself," he replies. "Will there be anything else, sir?" he asks.

"Yes," I reply. "Clothing," I tell him. "I need you to requisition me some more appropriate clothing than sleeping pants," I tell him.

Piett smiles. "I'd be most happy to, sir," he replies. "May I ask when you'll be released, sir?"

"I have no idea when they will see fit to release me," I tell him. "So I plan to just leave when I feel ready. Expect me in the next day or so."

"Very good, sir," he replies, not at all surprised by my declaration. "May I serve you in any other way before I return to the ship?"

"No," I tell him. "I want to see those reports, so hurry back," I tell him.

Piett stands up and bows. "I will return within the hour, sir," he replies, and then leaves me. He passes my family on the way in, who seem rather surprised to see him.

"What was Piett doing here?" Padmé asks me.

"Just running some errands for me," I reply, deciding not to tell her the whole truth.

"He must have been surprised to see you," Leia comments. "I mean, he's never seen your face until now."

"No he hasn't," I agree. "He was pleased, and yet professional about his reaction."  
"He's the consummate professional," Padmé remarks. "I like him."  
I nod in agreement. "A good officer, no doubt," I agree.

Doctor Iginla enters the room at this point, accompanied by the droid I encountered earlier. No doubt it has reported my failure to follow orders.

"Lord Vader, you're looking very well," she says with a smile.

"Thank you," I reply. "I feel very well," I tell her.

She nods. "Well enough to eat solid food I've been told," she replies. I can hear the admonishment in her voice, and it irritates me.

"Yes," I reply. "I can't regain my strength on liquids," I point out.

She frowns, ever so slightly, and I can sense how annoyed she's becoming. "No, but there is a certain medical protocol," she replies. "Which you would be wise so follow."

"He has never been a good patient, Doctor," Padmé speaks up. "I can promise you that."

Iginla looks at her, lifts one eyebrow and say nothing.

"I'm fine, believe me," I say. "You all seem to forget that I was disabled for sixteen years," I tell them. "Compared to what I've been living all that time, this is nothing! I'm ready to walk out of here right now."

"We won't let him, don't worry Doctor," Luke pipes up, grinning at me.

"Well that's good to hear," she replies. "If you don't mind, I'd like to give your father an examination," she tells the twins. "It won't take long. Would you mind waiting in the corridor for a few minutes?"

"Man, we're getting kicked out of here all the time," Luke grumbles as he and Leia head for the door. I can't help but laugh at his comment.

"Now then," the doctor says. "Let's see how you're doing."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I stand back and allow the doctor to perform her examination, not at all surprised by my husband's impatience. He doesn't seem to appreciate the gravity of the medical miracle he has recently undergone; or perhaps it's just as he said. Living with disabilities so long has made this surgery seem negligible. Everything is relative, after all.

"So when can I leave?" Anakin asks once the doctor has finished her task.

"I would like to see you stay for at least another forty-eight hours," Iginla replies. "But somehow I think that's wishful thinking."

Vader smiles. "You seem to understand me well," he comments. The door chime sounds, and I go to answer it as Iginla fills in her paperwork at the small table. I'm surprised to see Admiral Piett back again.

"Good afternoon, Milady," he says. "I hope I'm not coming at a bad time," he adds.

"Well, no," I reply. "The doctor is just finishing up."

"Is that Piett?" Vader calls from the other side of the room. I stand aside to show him that it is.

"Come on in," Vader says, walking over to sit at the table. Piett enters the room, and I notice that he is carrying a valise with him.

"Try to convince him to stay until he's released," Iginla says to me as she prepares to leave.

"I'll do my best," I tell her, looking over her shoulder to see what is going on between Piett and Vader. "But I can't make any promises. He's rather single minded."  
"Yes, so I've noticed," she replies, and then leaves. I walk over to the table to see Piett pulling out datapads and handing them to Vader.

"What is all this?" I ask.

Piett looks up at me. "The reports Lord Vader asked to see," he replies. I look at Vader, who is reading intently.

"Report on what?" I ask.

"The Death Star, Milady," Piett replies. "He wanted to be briefed on everything that happened during his convalescence."

"I see," I reply. Clearly my husband does not have much faith in my abilities to update him, or else he'd not have ordered Piett to furnish him with these reports.

"You may return to the ship," Vader tells Piett.

Piett bows politely, as he always does, and then leaves us. It's not until he's gone that I speak my mind.

"You could have simply asked me about them," I say. "You really didn't need to make him go to all this trouble."

"It's his job," he replies, not looking up from the report. "He'll get over it."

I frown, starting to grow annoyed with him. "Well that's not really the point, is it?" I ask.

He looks up at me finally. "Then what is the point?" he asks.

I shake my head. He really doesn't get it. "Forget it," I tell him. "I'll let you read these, since clearly they have priority over your family right now."

He frowns. "What the hell does that mean?" he demands.

"I think you can figure it out," I reply. "Luke and Leia have barely spent any time with you at all since you woke up," I tell him. "But they have to wait while you read reports on information you already know."

"You're being unreasonable," he retorts. "I'm the emperor, remember? I need to know what's going on in the Empire, and this is the perfect time to get caught up. Luke and Leia understand that."  
I doubt that, but neither of them would dare say anything to their father to the contrary.

"Well you're busy, so I'll let you do your work in peace," I say, and head for the door. I half expect him to stop me before I get there, but he does not. I leave the room, making my mind up as I do so.

The twins are still waiting in the corridor when I step out into it. They look up at me, and, no doubt, sense how upset I am.

"Everything okay?" Leia asks me.

"I want you to come with me," I tell them. "Pack up your things. We're going back to the ship. Now."

Luke and Leia look at each other, but don't say anything or question me. We walk to our quarters in silence. Once we arrive, the twins go at once their room as I head for mine. I pull out my bag and toss it onto my bed. Forcing myself to remain calm, I pack my things, as the cold feeling in the pit of my stomach grows.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Leia and I pack our clothes in silence, and I know that she is as upset as I am. Mom and Dad have had fights before- they seem to fight a lot, actually. But the feelings I'm sensing from my mother right now are more intense than I've ever felt them, and I have to wonder what happened.

Leia looks up at me over the perfectly folded piling of clothing on her bed, and I know she's asking herself the same question.

"Aren't things supposed to be better now?" she asks aloud.

"I don't know," I reply, shoving my clothes into my bag. "I'm as confused as you are."

Leia watches me for a minute, a pair of shoes in her hands. "What do you think happened when we were in the hall?" she asks.

"I have no idea," I tell her. "But whatever it was, it was big. Mom's more upset than I've seen in a long time."

Leia frowns. "I hate it when he makes her feel this way," she says quietly. "He doesn't seem to care about her feelings at all sometimes."

"He cares," I reply. "You have to remember that he's a Sith, Leia," I remind her. "Sometimes he acts like…well, like…"  
"Like a jerk?" she suggests, zipping up her bag angrily.

I can't say I disagree with her there, but feel compelled to defend Dad all the same.

"Leia, we don't know what happened between them," I point out. "Let's not jump to conclusions before we do."

Leia looks at me for a moment, her eyebrows lowering even more. "Luke, you just said that Dad is a Sith," she retorts. "Who do you think is in the wrong?"

I frown, not liking the way she's condemning Dad without any evidence that he's done something wrong.

"I don't know about you, but I don't want to assume anything," I tell her, zipping up my bag.

"Fine," she replies. "We'll ask Mom what happened, and then you'll see I'm right."

I sigh, deciding that my sister is, quite possibly, the most stubborn person in the galaxy.


	32. Chapter 32

_AUTHOR'S NOTE : THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME MATURE CONTENT- YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! _

Chapter 37 _Voice of Darth Vader _

I don't remember falling asleep, but I clearly needed a nap after my long meeting with Piett. Each time I wake up I feel stronger. And there's something else I've noticed since I've awoken. I can feel the Force so much stronger than previously. I know now without any shadow of a doubt that Palpatine denied me this medical surgery for this very reason. With my restored limbs, I am as strong as I was before Mustafar- no, stronger. I have to wonder if my rapid recovery is connected to this. I would ask the doctors, but their knowledge of the Force is negligible.

As I shower, I think about the conversation that I'd had with Padmé earlier. She was very upset when she left, and I'm beginning to think that I have been neglecting her and the children. I suppose when I learned about the Death Star's fate it became the sole focus of my thoughts. I can't really blame Padmé for feeling ignored.

"There you are," the nurse in my room says upon seeing me enter the room. "I thought you might be hungry," she adds, setting a tray down on the table.

"I am, thank you," I reply, and sit down to eat. "Oh, one more thing," I reply. "I have no way of contacting my family," I tell her. "So I'm going to the family wing to visit them."

The nurse frowns. "But…they're no longer here, sir," she replies. "They returned to the ship several hours ago."

I'm confused for a moment, and then realize what must have happened. Padmé must have taken the twins up to the ship for some recreation. "So did my wife give you any idea when they'd be back?"

"No, you don't understand sir," the nurse replies. "They're gone. I sent an orderly to their quarters to take their bags to a shuttle myself."

"I see," I reply. I feel embarrassed and angry all at once- what must this nurse think? I didn't even know my family had gone. I turn my attention to the meal in front of me, willing the nurse to leave me alone. She does so, and I eat my meal. Once I'm finished I stand, my anger refusing to be contained any longer. With one swipe of my arm I send the tray of dishes flying across the table and crashing to the floor. I take a moment to master my emotions, looking around the room for the clothing that Piett brought me. Finding them, I get dressed, and then leave the room, not stopping to tell anyone where I'm going.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Piett seems surprised to see the twins and me returning to the ship, but says nothing. He knows better by now. Luke and Leia have been rather quiet since we left the planet, no doubt confused by everything that's going on. I feel badly for them – they deserve better than this. After all, they were deprived of their parents for the first sixteen years of their lives. They deserve to have a family that has no problems, no tension, no disharmony of any kind. Unfortunately, so long as their father remains a Sith, that isn't likely to happen.

We have a quiet dinner, with only Threepio in a chatty mood. We're all tired, and not really in the mood to engage in light hearted conversation.

"I'm going to your father's office," I tell my children after dinner. "I want to review the ship's log for the past few days," I add. I know that I'm not really in charge any more, but I want to make the effort nonetheless. So long as Vader is recovering, it's up to me to keep up with the ship's business.

"Think we could go for a swim, Mom?" Leia asks. "I don't feel like sitting around. We've been doing so much of that lately I'm ready to climb the walls."

I smile. "That sounds like a good idea," I reply. "But don't stay too late," I add. "I want you both in bed by twenty-three hundred."

"No problem, Mom," Luke tells me. "I'm pretty bagged today anyways."

I leave the twins and head for Vader's quarters. The enormous desk is covered with datapads that have been deposited over the past few days, and I realize that I have a lot of work to do. I only wish I was in the mood to do it.

The business of running a ship is quite tedious, as I realize after reading for nearly three hours. My back is starting to stiffen from sitting for so long, so I stand up to take a break.

Walking over to the enormous hyperbaric chamber I wonder vaguely what Vader will do with it now that he no longer needs it. Knowing how much he hated living in that suit, he'll probably take a sledgehammer to it himself. I can't say I'd blame him. I suppose that means he'll be sleeping with me from now on. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. While I'm looking forward very much to resuming a physical relationship with my husband, I'm concerned that a sexual dimension to our struggling relationship would only complicate things. And yet, physical intimacy has always been so important to our relationship; am I being foolish to think that either one of us would be able to deny our needs for long?

Deciding I'm too tired to do any more paperwork tonight, I turn to leave Vader's quarters when I stop in my tracks, gasping in surprise. Vader is standing in the doorway, watching me.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

"What are you doing here?" Padmé asks. "Did they release you already?"

I ignore her questions, deeming mine more pressing.

"Why did you leave without telling me?" I ask her. "And why did you take Luke and Leia with you?"

She looks up at me with guarded eyes, but says nothing for a moment. I can tell that things are going to get heated between us.

"The children needed a break," she tells me finally. "They were getting stir crazy down there."

I can understand that, and yet….

"They needed to bring their luggage with them to have a break?" I challenge.

Padmé looks away for a moment before responding. "You've been very busy since you woke up," she says quietly.

"Luke and Leia are my children too, Padmé," I remind her, reading between the lines. "I have a right to be able to see them."

She looks at me, her eyes angry now. "Did I say otherwise?" she retorts. "But lately you've been spending more time with Piett than with your family. Don't think they haven't noticed."

"I have a job to do," I point out. "A rather demanding job. Not to mention a crisis to deal with."

"You gave _me _that task, remember?" she replies. "Clearly you think my efforts were inadequate."

"I didn't say that," I retort.

"You didn't need to," she responds. "I'm not a fool, Anakin. I know very well why you asked Piett for all those reports."

"Is there something wrong with me wanting to know what happened when I was unconscious?" I ask, starting to get annoyed.

"I told you what happened, but you obviously don't believe me."

"Stop putting words in my mouth!"

Padmé says nothing in response, but her eyes show my how angry she is.

"I don't want to fight," she says finally, looking away. "You're recovering and I'm tired."

"We're not fighting," I reply "We're having a discussion. You still haven't explained to me why you are punishing me for doing my job."

She looks back at me, her anger spiking again. "_Punishing _you?" she echoes. "How am I doing that?"  
"By leaving," I tell her. "By taking my children away."

"I brought them up to the ship," she retorts. "That's hardly taking them away."

"It is to me," I tell her.

She looks up at me, her patience wearing thin.  
"You're determined to see malice in what I've done no matter what I say," she says. "And I'm not about to defend my actions any more."

"I have never accused you of being malicious," I retort. "I'm simply trying to understand."

"I don't expect you to understand," she retorts. "You're incapable of understanding."

"And why is that?" I demand.

"Do you really need to ask me that?" she replies.

"I wouldn't ask otherwise," I retort.

"It's because of the Darkness inside of you," she tells me. "That's why you can't understand how I feel."

I stare at her, trying not to let her words anger me. But they do.

"Like it or not, this is who I am now, Padmé. It's been more than sixteen years, you'd think by now you'd understand that."  
Her frown deepens, and I know I've crossed the line. "You think that makes any difference?" she retorts. "I don't care if you've belonged to the dark side for a thousand years, I will never accept it, or the person it has made you. You'd think by now that _you'd_ understand _that!"_

I take a step closer to her, the fire in her eyes actually turning me on more than angering me. It's been a very long time since I've had her, a very long time. But I'm not going to give in to my needs so easily. I remember how much she loves sex- as much as I do. No doubt she's as needy as I am by now, and despite what she says, I know now that I'm whole again has her thinking about how it once was between us. But if she wants me, she's going to have to ask for it. No. Beg.

"You foolish woman," I say, knowing I'm angering her even more but not caring at this point. "Don't you see that you can have anything in the galaxy you want now? I can give it to you! Palpatine is dead, and _ I'm _ in control."  
"I don't care," she actually replies. "I told you sixteen years ago that I didn't want to control the galaxy, and I still don't. But if you're so hell bent on it, by all means, do what you want. You always have anyway, no matter what anyone else says."

I narrow my eyes and step closer, forcing her to retreat against the wall. I don't see fear in her eyes, which is good. I like her fire, I like that she will stand up to me. It's incredibly sexy. In fact, I can feel myself getting more excited as our fight escalates.

"Yes, I always do get my way," I agree. "Just as you always have. Weren't you a queen? Didn't you get what you wanted? And then you had me following you around like a love sick boy, toying with me, teasing me until I couldn't see straight," I continue, knowing I'm pushing the limits. "We're both used to getting what we want, Padmé. That's why we're so good together."

Her brows lower as she glowers up at me. "I can't believe you are daring to compare us," she retorts. "I'm nothing like you!"

"You're more like me than you want to admit," I retort. "Driven, ambitious, needing to be in control."

"I'm not cruel," she counters. "I'm not arrogant," she adds. "And I would never hurt anyone that I love."

I look at her mouth, wanting more than anything to taste it, to plunder it. Force I want her right now…

"You will never forget the past, will you?" I tell her, putting one hand against the wall beside her.

"It's impossible to do so when you're a constant reminder of it," she counters. I smile, and that only makes her more angry.

"You truly are an arrogant man," she tells me. But behind her words I know she's as turned on as me right now.

"Am I arrogant?" I ask.

"Utterly," she replies.

"Is it arrogance to know that right now you want me to take you against this wall?" I tell her, moving my body closer to hers.

Her eyes betray her, and before she can offer a denial, I bring my mouth down onto hers. Her hands move up into my hair, telling me I was right. Her mouth opens to mine, and with a whimper she meets my tongue with her own, as our bodies grind against one another.

"If I'm so arrogant why do you want me so badly?" I breathe against her ear as my hands rip open her blouse.

"Shut up," she counters, biting my earlobe. The pain is like a jolt of electricity through my veins, and I growl in response.

"Tell me you want me," I tell her. "Tell me you want me to screw you," I whisper against her ear.

"I hate that word," she tells me, closing her eyes, and making no effort to stop what's happening between us.

"But that's exactly what I'm going to do to you," I tell her, pressing my body against hers, my mouth on her neck. "And you're going to love every minute of it…"

_Later…_

"That was incredible," I say with a smile. "I'd almost forgotten how good we are together," I tell her.

She nods, and I see confusion in her eyes. "I'm going to bed," she says, pulling her clothes on. She looks at me, and I know she's already regretting what we've done.

"Goodnight," I tell her. She leaves me, and I stand for a moment, my body still tingling. She may regret it, but I certainly don't. In fact, I can't wait to have her again.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 38 _Voice of Padmé Amidala _

By the time I reach my bedroom my hands have almost stopped shaking. The door closes behind me, and I lean against it, closing my eyes. I can't believe what I just allowed to happen. How could I have ended up having sex with Vader after the huge fight we'd had? What must he think of my resolve when I gave in to him so readily? And still…when I have I ever been able to resist him? He has always known exactly how to get what he wants from me, and how to bring out a side in me that he and he alone will ever know.

I decide to have a shower, for I know that right now I'm far too edgy to sleep. _And where will my husband sleep tonight ? _I have to wonder as I get undressed. If he has released himself from the hospital, then more than likely he will spend the night here on the ship. And since there's no bed in his quarters, he will probably sleep here, in my bed. And why shouldn't he? He's my husband, after all. I'm so confused by all of this, by all the conflicting emotions I'm feeling. Ironically, things were so much easier when Vader was still in the breath suit.

The shower helps calm my nerves, and I sit at my dressing table to comb out my hair. Luke and Leia are thankfully asleep, for I'm sure if they were awake they would be able to sense how tense I am. Once my hair is braided, I stand up and head for the bed. I stop when I hear someone moving about in the room outside my door. And then the door to my room opens to reveal none other than Vader.

For a moment we simply look at one another. He seems quite different than he had earlier, for which I'm grateful.

"May I come in?" he asks, surprising me. I nod, and sit on the end of the bed, pulling my robe closer.

Vader steps into the room and looks around briefly. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was nervous. He looks at me finally, saying nothing for a moment or two.

"I…I wanted to apologize," he says finally.

I frown, not expecting this in the least. "Apologize?" I ask.

He nods. "I behaved rather…brutishly earlier," he says. "And said some things that I regret. And I'm sorry."

His words both surprise me and serve to alleviate some of the tension that's filling me. Maybe things aren't as bleak as I'd believed.

"I said some cruel things too," I tell him. "And you're right- I should have told you that I was leaving. I guess I was just angry and hurting, and wanted to do something to hurt you. That's really petty of me, I know, but…"

"No, you were right to be angry," he says, sitting down on the end of the bed beside me. "I _was _neglecting you and the children," he continues. "I know that now."

I don't know how to respond, so I say nothing, waiting for him to continue. He reaches over and takes my hand, holding it gently in his. It's so good to feel the warmth of his skin next to mine again, the tenderness of his touch. Wordlessly he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it softly, the simple gesture bringing a lump to my throat.

"I love you, Padmé," he tells me. "I've always loved you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

I don't say anything to him, but lean my head against his arm. "I love you too," I tell him. "Let's go to bed."

He looks down at me. "You don't mind if I sleep here?" he asks me.

I smile. "Mind?" I ask. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed sleeping with you?"

He smiles. "I think I do," he replies. He kisses the tip of my nose. "Let's go to bed," he says.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I awaken with my arms around my wife. It has been so long since I awoke this way, and for a few moments I simply look down at her in my arms. Part of me is afraid that all of this is a dream, and that I'll awaken in the pod once again. Force knows I've had many dreams like this over the past sixteen years. I move my face closer to her and drink in the scent of her hair, proving to myself that I'm not dreaming. Next I nuzzle through her thick hair to the soft skin of her neck beneath. _Slow down Vader...slow down now before you lose control again. _

I move away from her and lie on my back, stretching lazily in the comfortable bed. Luke and Leia are awake, I can sense them in the next room. And I know that they can sense me too. They're confused, no doubt wondering what has transpired between their mother and me since they left the planet. I decide to satisfy their curiosity and get out of bed, leaving Padmé to sleep.

The twins look up from their breakfast as I enter the kitchen, both of them surprised by my unexpected appearance.

"Dad!" Luke exclaims. "When did you get here?"

"Last night," I tell them as Leia embraces me tightly.

"I can't believe the doctors let you go so soon," she says.

"They didn't," I tell her, kissing the top of her head. "I just left."

Luke laughs. "Sweet," he says. "Mom must have been surprised to see you too."

I think back to the heated argument we had the previous night, followed by the amazing sex…and quickly push the thoughts from my mind. "She was," I tell them. "But I think she's glad I'm here."

"We're _all _glad," Leia informs me. "But you have to make sure you're not pushing yourself, either," she adds, sounding very much like her mother.

I smile. "I'm sure you and your brother will keep me in line," I tell her.

"Sure will," Luke pipes up. "We'll drag you back to bed if we think you're overdoing it."

"You think you could do that?" I challenge them with a smile.

"Sure we could," Leia assures me. "Two against one? No problem."  
"Oh really," I say, folding my arms over my chest. "You think the two of you could take me down?"  
"Without a doubt," Luke replies, a superior smile on his face.

"I think he's challenging us, Luke," Leia says.

"Yep, sounds like a challenge to me too," Luke replies.

"Bring it on," I say, stepping back and bracing myself for them. They attack immediately, each of them going after a leg in an attempt to bring me down.

"Nice try," I say, reaching down and prying them loose. "But you'll have to do better than that."

This time they each go for an arm, and try to pull it behind my back. I can't help but laugh, loving their playfulness, loving the fact that I can rough house with my children this way.

"Children, what have I said about wrestling in here?"

We all stop and look over to see Padmé standing in the doorway. She has her hands on her hips, but on her face is a smile that tells us all that she is teasing us.

"They started it," I tell her.

"Sure, a likely story," Padmé replies.

"Clearly we need a bigger place to continue this battle," I tell the twins. "There isn't enough space in here."

"Yeah, that's what Mom says too," Luke tells me.

"Well," I say, rubbing my stubbly chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps a larger place would be a good idea," I say.

"What do you mean?" Leia asks.

"I mean, what would you think of moving into a real home," I tell them.

"Do you mean it, Anakin?" Padmé asks, walking over to me.

I nod. "There's no reason for us to stay on this ship any longer," I tell them. "I have property on the Capital," I add. "We could move their right away if you wish."

Her smile tells me how happy she is to hear this, as do the whoops of excitement from Luke and Leia.

"You have a house on the Capital?" Leia asks. "That's so cool!"

"It isn't furnished," I tell them. "I've never lived in it, but I'm sure you wouldn't mind seeing to that," I ask Padmé.

She shakes her head with a smile. "No, not at all," she replies. "I'm sure Leia wouldn't mind either," she adds.

"Are you kidding?" Leia asks happily. "It will be _so _much fun!"

"How come you never lived there, Dad?" Luke asks.

"I didn't want to," I tell them. "Somehow living in a house by myself just seemed too…lonely," I admit.

"Well you're not going to be lonely now," Leia assures me, hugging me again.

I smile. "No, I won't," I agree. I like the sound of that. Once my daughter has released me I walk over to the comm. and signal the bridge. "Bridge, this is Vader," I say.

"Piett here, sir," he replies at once. "Sir, when did you arrive on board?" he asks.

"Never mind that now," I tell him. "I want you to set course for the Capitol," I tell him. "Maximum velocity."

"Right away, sir," Piett replies, not bothering to ask questions.

"Aren't you going to tell the hospital that you're leaving?" Padmé asks me.

"I'm sure they've figured it out by now," I tell her. "Besides, I wired a rather large contribution to their facilities in addition to their fee," I tell her. "I don't think they'll be questioning my actions too much."

"No, not likely," Padmé replies. "I always did say you were a terrible patient," she adds.

I can't help but agree with her.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Imperial Centre- I can't believe we're really going there. And not only that, we're going to _live _there now! I wonder what kind of house this will be? It surprised me when Dad said he owned property – he never struck me as the type who would care about that stuff. It will be so cool to live in a house like a real family at last. I just hope whatever problems Mom and Dad still seem to be having can be straightened out now that our lives are going to become more normal finally.

The ship arrives at the Capital within a few hours of my father's orders to divert there, and before long we're on a shuttle and headed for the planet surface. Threepio seemed a little peeved to have been left behind to pack- but I'm sure he'll get over it. I just hope Mom and Leia don't take forever to pick out furniture for the place. I'd like to be able to live there before I turn 30.

"It's been a few years since I've seen the place," Dad tells us as the speeder weaves its way through the downtown core. "I've had droid maintaining the interior and the grounds, but I can't guarantee what condition it will be in."

"Is it big?" Leia asks. "Like a palace?"

She would ask that.

"I think you'll be pleased when you see it," Dad tells her with a smile.

We leave the downtown area, and I'm relieved that we're not going to one of the huge skyscrapers the planet seems to be covered with. I think it'd be claustrophobic living in one of them with so many others nearby. I guess it's because I'm so used to living in a place with no neighbours that I feel that way.

The shuttle continues to an area of the Capital I didn't even know existed, for there are no skyscrapers at all. I actually see some trees and what looks like a lake. I can feel the craft slowing down and descending, and realize that we're drawing closer to our destination. The shuttle lands, and we get up, all of us excited to see our new home.

The landing platform is at one end of the property, which it turns out is huge, probably 5 or 6 hectares. And the house, if you can call it that, is big enough that we can see it clear across the huge gardens

"Whoa," I say softly as we step out onto the grass. Attached to the landing platform is a huge bay for speeders and shuttles, and within that is a garage. This doesn't surprise me- Dad loves fixing and building stuff just like I do.

"There's a tunnel that connects this end to the main house," Dad tells us. "Or we can walk through the gardens. Take your pick."

"Tunnel!"  
"Gardens!"

Leia and I shout at the exact same time. We look at each other and laugh.

"I'd like to see the house first, so why don't we take the quickest route," suggests Mom.

"That would be the tunnel," Dad informs us, and I give Leia a smile of victory. She rolls her eyes in response.

The tunnel is incredibly cool. Dad tells us it's 200 metres long, and is 6 metres below the ground. It's kind of creepy, but cool at the same time.

"Why a tunnel?" Mom asks as we wind our way through.

"Security reasons," Dad replies. He doesn't elaborate, and no one wants to ask him to. There are some aspects of my father's life that I'd just as soon ignore.

Finally we reach the other end of the tunnel and ascend a huge staircase into an enormous, high ceilinged room.

"Wow," Leia breathes, looking around. "This is amazing!"

The house, if you can call it a house, isn't furnished, as Dad had told us. But it's so beautiful that no one seems to notice. Dad takes us around on a tour, to each of the three floors. Leia and I each put in a request for a room, and keep changing out minds when we see another one we like better. This place has everything! There's an indoor pool in the lower level, as well as a gymnasium. There's an outdoor pool in the back, surrounding by an incredible flower garden and a high wall. The place even has towers that over look the surrounding area. I think I'm going to like living here.

"It's going to take a long time to furnish this place," Mom comments as we sit down on one of the benches in the garden. "I counted ninety-five rooms."

"There's ninety- eight, actually," Dad tells her. "The top floor was designed for servants' quarters, mostly," he adds.

"We're gonna have _servants?" _I ask in amazement.

"Of course, Luke," Leia replies. "We're royalty, remember?"  
I haven't quite got used to thinking of myself in those terms, and don't think I ever will.

"We'll have some," Mom says. "A home this big will need some."

"You'll want a cook," Dad says, smiling at Mom. "I'm sure."  
Leia and I look at each other, sure we've missed something.

"At one time yes, I would have," Mom tells him. "But I've learned to cook, believe it or not."  
Dad's face shows his surprise, and I can't help but laugh.

"Mom's a great cook," Leia says. "But it would be cool to have someone doing it for us, don't you think?" she asks Mom.

"I suppose so," Mom replies, looking up at the house. "Why did you purchase such a place if you never planned to live in it?" she asks Dad.

"It was given to me," Dad tells us. "I never wanted it, but the emperor insisted."  
"Palpatine gave this place to you?" Mom asks, the tone of her voice indicating how she feels about this.

Dad nods in response. "He never lived here," he tells us. "If that's your concern."

"That's good to know," Mom replies. She looks at Mom. "Well? What do you say, Leia? Should we get started?"  
Leia nods enthusiastically.

"Start with the basics so we can at least sleep here," Dad suggests. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to sleep on the ship again in the near future."  
"I think you speak for all of us when you say that," Mom says, standing up with Leia. "What are you two going to do?"

"Oh, I'm sure we can find something to keep us occupied," Dad tells her, giving me a wink. I grin. I'm sure we can.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 39 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Within a week, we are able to move into our new home. Of course, it will take many more weeks to furnish the entire house. Right now we have the bedrooms, and main living areas completed. There are still so many empty rooms that I fear it will take us many months to get them all finished. I haven't said so, but I would like to redecorate much of the house too. Perhaps it's the fact that this was a gift from Palpatine, but I want to put my own stamp on it. Besides that, it's rather severe and almost stark in it's décor. Not exactly what I think of for a home. I don't think Vader will mind- he's far too busy with his own affairs to even notice the changes that Leia and I have made already.

Luke and Leia have not been in school during this time of transition, and I've been looking for a private school here on Coruscant for them to attend. Coruscant- I know it's now called something else, but it will always been Coruscant to me. Vader wants to have private tutors for them, but I don't like the thought of that. They need socialization with children their own age as much as an education. It's been very hard on them both with all the changes in their lives in the past several months- I want to normalize their lives as much as possible now.

"How's this, Mom?" Leia asks. I look over to her where she is planting flowers in the bed next to me.

"Perfect," I reply. "We'll have this garden blooming in no time." Leia smiles, and returns to the soil. She seems to have inherited my green thumb, for she has been an invaluable help both in planting and designing the gardens behind the house. I know we could hire a gardener, and probably will once we've done the work. But I enjoy gardening; and I have the time to do it right now. It's therapeutic, at least for me. Luke started to help out, but I know he found it tedious so I quickly found something else for him to do. He was happy to change jobs, and has been happily helping his father acquiring supplies for the garage and workrooms. I'm glad that Vader is spending time with our son particularly with all that's happened lately.

"You know, you and Luke have a birthday coming up," I tell Leia as we return to the house later. "I'm thinking that a huge party is in order."  
Leia smiles. "That sounds great," she replies. "We certainly have the room for it!"

I nod in agreement. "You could invite some of your friends from Alderaan," I tell her, knowing she hasn't had a chance to make many new friends since leaving there.

"I would _love _that!" she replies. "Do you think I could invite the Viceroy too?" she asks after a moment's deliberation.

I'm not sure how Vader would like having Bail Organa in his home, but perhaps for Leia's sake he would accept it. At least I hope so.

"I think that would be all right," I say finally. "And perhaps Luke could invite his uncle and aunt," I add.

"He'd like that," Leia says. "I guess we'd better get the place finished before we plan the party."

I look around at the large empty grand room. "Yes, that's definitely on the top of the priority list," I say with a sigh. "Come on," I say. "Let's get some lunch and then it's back to the catalogues again."

Leia sighs. "I never thought I'd be tired of shopping," she remarks as we head for the kitchen.

I laugh. "I know exactly what you mean," I reply.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

Padmé has done an excellent job of turning this vast estate into a home. Everywhere I go I see her touch. Our daughter has helped I'm sure, for she is so much like her mother in her sense of style and taste. I'm grateful to them both for taking on the onerous task of transforming the house, for I've been rather busy since leaving the _Executor_. I know Padmé isn't happy that I was reviewing the reports from the time when she was in charge; but I'm the emperor, and I would be remiss to remain ignorant of everything going on in my empire.

I have come to a decision recently, one that I'm sure Padmé will disagree with once she learns of it. But if I am to keep control of this Empire and eliminate the Rebel infestation, I have no choice but to establish iron rule. And the best way to do that is to rebuild the Death Star. This time, however, it will be my design, a design that will be far more efficient, and far less expensive. Palpatine's Death Star was a nightmare from a financial stand point : mine will be a work of engineering ingenuity. I know that my wife will have serious issues with my decision, but I will stand by it. She has been asleep for the past sixteen years, and is very naïve when it comes to how things work in this new galaxy I've had a hand in shaping. Once she comes to see things for what they are, including the Rebellion, she will understand.

I look up from my work as Padmé enters the office, pushing the data pad into a desk drawer as she walks over to talk to me.

"Busy?" she asks, sitting down on one of the large leather chairs in front of my desk.

"Never too busy for you," I tell her, remembering the nasty fight we'd had on this very subject the previous week.

She smiles. "Well, I was thinking that we should start thinking about the twins' birthday," she tells me. "It's coming up in a few weeks."

I nod, knowing the day well. "What did you have in mind?" I ask her.

"A party," she replies. "A huge, festive party," she continues. "This will be the very first birthday that they celebrate together, and the first one that we will share with them. I think that merits a rather large celebration, don't you think?"  
"Absolutely," I agree. "I think it's time to create some good memories of that day," I add, remembering all too vividly what happened to me on that day.

"I couldn't agree more," she replies. No doubt she has her own lifetime of bad memories from that day as well. "We could invite the children's friends from before they came to live with us," she continues.

"Sure," I reply, knowing they haven't had much of a chance to make friends since then. "So long as they all have security checks," I add.

She frowns. "We're talking about children," she reminds me.

"I realize that," I reply. "Luke and Leia are the children of the emperor," I remind her. "They will have enemies."

I can tell that Padmé doesn't like to hear it, but doesn't argue with me. "I also thought that they could invite their guardians," she adds. "Beru and Owen," she continues. "As well as Bail Organa."

I frown. "Organa is a rebel sympathizer," I tell her. "I don't want him in my home."

Padmé frowns. "_Your _home?" she asks. "I thought it was _our _home, including Leia's."  
"Of course it is," I reply.

"Like it or not, Bail Organa was Leia's father for the first sixteen years of her life," she points out. "She loves him, and always will. And it's her party. I think she would be very disappointed if she wasn't permitted to have him here."

I know that I will have a huge fight on my hands if I refuse; and there are enough areas of contention between Padmé and I right now. Perhaps I should just give in this time.

"Very well," I say at last. "He may come. But know that I will have him well watched," I tell her.

Her frown doesn't leave, which is rather annoying. What does she want of me?  
"Try not to make your clones too conspicuous," she says. "This is a children's birthday party, after all."

She gets up and leaves at this point, not giving me a chance to reply. It's probably just as well- I'm not sure my reply would have pleased her at this point anyway. Once she has left the office, I pull the datapad from the drawer I'd stashed it in and continue working.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Mom has told Leia and me that we will be having a big party to celebrate our birthday. It's coming up in a few weeks, and so she wants us to put a list of people we want to invite together as soon as possible. There's plenty of people I'd like to invite; the only trouble is they all live on Tatooine. Tatooine is very far from where we live now, and passage here is expensive. My friends there don't have the means to pay for passage to attend a birthday party- I know Uncle Owen would have scoffed at the very idea if I'd been invited to one off planet. And as much as I'd like to invite him and Aunt Beru, I'm pretty certain they wouldn't come for that very reason. Somehow I don't think Leia will have that problem. I'm pretty sure all of her friends are rich.

"I'd like to send out invitations within a week," Mom tells us at dinner. "So please have your guest lists drawn up as soon as you can."

"Is it okay if I invite the Viceroy?" Leia asks, looking at Dad and then back at Mom.

Mom nods. "Yes, of course it is," she replies. "I wouldn't dream of not having him here."  
Dad doesn't say anything, but I know he's not happy about it. I know he thinks that the Viceroy is connected to the Rebellion, but doesn't have the evidence to prove it. It's pretty big of him to let this man come to our party, and it shows how much he loves Leia.

"Luke you should consider inviting your Aunt and Uncle," Mom tells me. "You haven't had a chance to see them since you left Tatooine, after all."

"No I haven't," I reply "But…I don't think they'll be able to come," I tell her. "In fact, I don't think anyone from Tatooine will be able to come."

"Why not?" Dad asks.

I look at him, embarrassed to tell them why.

"Well," I say, looking down at my dinner and pushing my veggies around. "It's pretty far from here, Tatooine," I say. "And passage is pretty expensive."

"Luke, you don't need to worry," Mom tells me, coming to the rescue. "We will provide passage for anyone who you wish to invite, and we will make that clear in the invitation."  
I smile at her, amazed at how she's always able to fix things so easily. She must have been an amazing leader at one time.

"What about Aunt Sola?" Leia asks. "Do you think she'd come?"

"I'm sure of it," Mom replies. "And perhaps your uncle and cousins as well."

I'd almost forgotten that I have cousins. I got used to thinking of Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen as my only family. I'm sure Uncle Owen will say they're too busy to come. Fun just isn't in his vocabulary.

"I wish we had been able to meet our grandparents," Leia says.

Mom smiles. "So do I," she replies. "I know they would have loved you both very much." A look of tremendous sadness crosses her face as she thinks about her parents, who died when she was in stasis. It must have been hard for her to realize that she'd never get to say goodbye to them.

"Yes, I know my mother would have enjoyed fussing over the two of you," Dad adds. He pauses for a moment, and I sense in him both pain and anger as he remembers how she'd died. "I was only a little older than you when she died," he tells us.

"What about your father?" Leia asks him.

"I never had a father," Dad tells us.

"You mean he was never in your life?" Leia asks.

Dad shakes his head. "No, I didn't have a father," he replies. "My mother just became pregnant with me, there was no man involved."

"But…how can that be?" Leia asks. I've heard this before, but I'm still unsure.

"The Jedi legend says that he was formed in the Force," Mom tells us. "The Chosen One is what they called him."

"Really?" Leia asks. "You're part of a legend, Dad?"

Dad shrugs, seeming rather uneasy with the conversation. "Apparently," he says. He looks at his wrist chrono, looking for a way to escape. "It's late," he says. "Perhaps we ought to think about getting to bed."

"Yes, it's been a long day for all of us," Mom adds for good measure. "We're going to the school I told you about in the morning for a tour, so you need to get a good night's sleep so we can be there nice and early."

I don't know what's nice about early, but Mom seems to think the two are connected. I have to admit, though, that I am tired. The new bedrooms that Mom has decorated are massive- I think I might actually feel a little lonely without my sister close by. Funny, but now that we're together I can't imagine my life before I met her. I had no idea that all those years I was missing a huge part of my life – my twin.

The new bed is huge, and extremely comfy. And in no time at all, I drift off to sleep, the excitement of the day finally wearing me out.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I still have not quite got used to this new house. Although I was once a queen and lived in a palace, I really only used a small number of rooms. This house I'm living in now somehow seems so much larger. Leia and I have worked hard to make it more homey, but its size is making that a difficult task. I know that Leia is already comfortable, for she grew up in a similar building on Alderaan. But Luke…I saw the tiny house he once lived in, and I worry that he's feeling overwhelmed by all this luxury. But, true to form, he has said nothing. He never complains about anything, that boy.

I take a long shower before going to bed, one of the few luxuries I don't mind indulging in. At the back of my mind I'm hoping that my husband will be sleeping when I come to bed- I can't help but think that he will want to rehash the discussion we had earlier about Bail Organa. I could tell that he was far from happy when Leia brought his name up at the dinner table earlier. To his credit he said nothing to her, which, I suppose, is a good sign. But knowing how much he hates Bail, how suspicious he is of him, I would hate to think of how he would react if he ever learned of the part Bail had in my decision to destroy the Death Star.

I enter the bedroom, and see that Vader is still very much awake. He smiles at me as I enter the room. That's a good sign- he wouldn't be smiling if he were thinking about Bail Organa.

"Nice shower?" he asks as I climb into bed.

"Yes," I reply. "All the gardening I did earlier had me rather achy," I tell him.

"I can hire a gardener," he tells me. "You're an empress, you shouldn't be doing manual labour like that."

"I like gardening," I tell him. "I don't consider it manual labour."

He shrugs and snuggles up close to me. "You smell wonderful," he says.

I'm tired, a little too tired for what he clearly has in mind, but I've never been able to say no to him. And with the way his moods seem to swing so dramatically now, I don't know how wise it would be to do so even if I could.

So as I feel his hands moving under my nightie, I simply let him, hoping that tonight my husband is making love to me, and not just having sex with me.

My nightgown moves over my head, seemingly by magic, and I have to wonder why I even bother to put one on any more. There hasn't been one night since Vader left the hospital that we haven't been engaged in sexual relations: usually as pure animal sex, sometimes, less frequently than I'd like, as love making. I'm glad to know that he is still able to make love, for after our first sexual encounter I was fearful that he was incapable of it. But it is gentle hands I feel moving down the sides of my body, hands that know exactly how to touch me, how to elicit the most incredible sensations in me…

_Later…_

"You're amazing," he says as we lie down again. I smile and snuggle into his embrace, the place I love more than any other in the universe.

"I love you," I tell him.

He kisses the top of my head. "I love you too."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 40 – _Voice of Leia Skywalker _

The school that Mom has enrolled us in seems great- the teachers we met were friendly and the building is really beautiful. I'm glad that Dad agreed to let us go to a school with other kids- I've been tutored all my life and I'm tired of it. The thought of being able to interact with people my own age every day is exciting. I know that Luke is nervous, though, and I think I know why. He's afraid that there will be a lot of snobby kids at this school, and he's not comfortable with that. I guess having lived as a farmer so long it will take him a while to get used to being a member of the aristocracy.

"I think we're going to like it here, don't you?" I ask my brother as we ride home with Mom.

Luke shrugs as he looks out the window. "I guess," he mumbles.

"What's wrong, Luke?" Mom asks from the front of the speeder. "You like school, don't you?"

"I guess," he says again. Mom turns and looks at me with a frown.

"Luke, you're a prince," I remind him. "You don't need to worry about not fitting in. Everybody there will want to be your friend because of your connections."

Luke frowns. "I don't care about …connections," he grumbles. "And I don't want to be treated differently just because I'm the emperor's son."

"Well you will be," I tell him, getting sick of his farm boy routine. "Like it or not Luke, you will be."

Luke says nothing in response, but I sense how annoyed he is with me. I don't understand his attitude, though. What's wrong with being treated like you're special?

"So how are the guests lists coming along?" Mom asks, wisely changing the subject. "I want to send out the invitations by the end of the week."  
"All done," I tell her. "Luke's done too, right?" I ask, looking back at him.

"Yeah," he replies. "All done."  
"I can't wait," I tell Mom excitedly. "This is going to be the best birthday I've ever had."

Mom smiles. "We'll do our best to make sure of that," she replies.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I'm pleased with the speed with which Luke and Leia's birthday gifts were delivered. I'm sure they will love the speeders that I've purchased for them. Part of me wants to surprise them today and not wait the two weeks until their actual birthday. But I suppose I will have to wait. Padmé is such a stickler for tradition. Having found a perfect hiding spot for the two speeders, I leave the garage and head back to the house, knowing my family will return soon.

As I travel the length of the long tunnel that leads to the house, I contemplate how I'm going to explain to Padmé why I need to return to the _Executor_. I haven't told her about the new Death Star I'm planning, nor do I plan to for quite some time. But it's essential that I get things started, which at this point means selecting a suitable location for it. I can't do this from my office, and need the ship's navi-computers to do so. Once I've found a location, I want to scout it as well, see it with my own eyes rather than relying on underlings. It has been my experience that I'm the only one that I can trust with truly important tasks.

Padmé and the children have returned when I arrive at the house. Leia immediately launches into an excited and long description of the school. I notice that her brother doesn't share her enthusiasm, however, and I think I know why. His upbringing was much like my own, one of poverty and depravation. He's adjusted well to this new life I've given him, but there are still aspects of it he's uncomfortable with. I don't blame him.

"I need to talk to your mother alone," I tell the twins. "About something very important," I add, giving them a wink. They smile at once, knowing that it's their birthday gift I'm referring to. They leave us at once, and I turn to Padmé. "Come with me," I tell her, and head for the office. She follows me.

"If this is about their birthday gift, I have a few ideas I'd like to talk to you about," she says as we enter the office.

"It's already taken care of," I tell her, sitting on the edge of my desk. "They were delivered this afternoon."  
She frowns. "What was delivered this afternoon?" she asks.

"Their gifts," I tell her. "I ordered them a few days ago."

"What did you order?" she asks, her tone of voice telling me that she's not happy.

"Speeders," I tell her. "One for each of them. They're amazing, too. Top of the line, newest models…"

"Speeders?" she asks. "Don't you think they're a little young to own their own speeders?"  
I frown, annoyed that she's finding fault with me yet again. "No, I don't," I reply. "They're turning seventeen, Padmé, not seven."

"I know how old they are," she retorts. "And I think it's too young. You might have talked to me about this before going ahead and ordering them."

I fold my arms over my chest, starting to grow annoyed with her attitude. "I was doing you a favour," I tell her. "I know how busy you are planning this party," I add. "This is one detail you won't have to worry about. Now you can concentrate on…folding napkins or something."

As soon as the words leave my mouth I know they were the wrong ones to say.

"_Folding napkins?_" she asks, her eyes wide with anger. Is _that _what you think I've been doing for the past two weeks?"

"Of course not," I retort. "You know what I mean."

"No, I _don't _know what you mean," she replies coldly. "Though I get the distinct impression that you're patronizing me."

"I am not!" I reply in exasperation. "I can't help it if you're ridiculously oversensitive."

Her eyes narrow, and I can sense how angry she is. "Oversensitive is not nearly so bad as _in_sensitive," she fires back.

"Oh, I see," I reply. "It's all me, is it? I try to do something nice and this is the thanks I get for it?"

"You did something nice, but then you ruined it," she tells me.

I sigh and look away, growing weary of fighting. Suddenly getting away for a few days is looking very appealing.

"If you want to return them, then go ahead," I tell her. "I don't have time to do it. I have business that won't wait. I'm going away for a few days to take care of it."

"What business?" she asks.

"Does it matter?" I ask, standing up and walking around the desk. "I'd think you'd be happy to see me go considering what an insensitive bastard I am."

She doesn't reply, and simply leaves the room without another word. I look up to see her walk out the door, and then sit down at the desk. I open the top right hand drawer, push past the newly purchased comlinks I picked up for Luke and Leia when they start school, and find the datapad with my Death Star information on it. I slip it inside my tunic and then go upstairs to pack a bag.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

"Where's Dad?" I ask as I sit down to dinner. I know he's not in the house, his presence is so familiar to me now that I know when he's not around.

"He had some business to take care of," Mom replies as she hands me the veggies. I can tell she's angry with him for some reason. They're still fighting as much as ever, it seems.

"What business?" Leia asks. "Does it have to do with our birthday gifts?" she asks with a smile. We know that our parents were talking about that, Dad made that pretty obvious.

"No," Mom replies, doing her best to hide her emotions from us. "I don't know what the …business is. All I know is he's gone for a few days."

I frown and look at Leia, who's as concerned as I am.

_What do you think is going on? _She asks.

_I don't know, _ I tell her. _But they must have had a fight. A big one._

_I'm so sick of them fighting – why can't they just be happy now that we're a family? _

_You know why, Leia. You know as well as I do. _

"Mom, it will be okay," I tell her finally. "Really."

Mom looks at me, her guard dropping for a moment. I can see in her eyes how much Dad has hurt her, and it makes me angry at him too. Doesn't he realize how lucky he is? Why doesn't he get it?

"Luke's right," Leia pipes up. "Dad loves you so much," she adds.

"Yeah," I agree. "He does. You know that he does."

Mom sighs. "That's not the issue," she says quietly, looking down at her uneaten dinner. She pulls up her guard once more and looks up at us with a smile. "I don't want you to worry," she says. "You two have a big day coming up. I don't want anything to overshadow that."

"How could anything do that?" Leia asks. "This is the first birthday Luke and I will celebrate together," she says, looking at me with a smile. "And the first one where we're all together as a family. Nothing could spoil that, Mom."  
Mom smiles, but somehow I don't think she feels quite as confident as Leia does. Part of me wishes I knew what had gone on between her and Dad- and yet, part of me doesn't want to know.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

The house is quiet, the kids are in their rooms. I know they don't go to sleep when I tell them to . I may not be a Jedi but I know my children well. They usually end up in one another's room and stay up late talking, which I don't mind. They spent so long apart it warms my heart to see them growing closer every day. I can't wait to celebrate their birthday with them in a few weeks. Perhaps finally the memories of that day will finally be replaced with happier ones.

My bed is empty tonight, my husband gone back to his ship on _business_. Such an elusive, vague term- I hate to think of what it could mean. I'm not foolish enough to think that Vader has changed since his surgery, at least not in the way I'd hoped he would. He has changed, but the change is not for the better. There is an arrogance to him now that wasn't there before. Somehow when he was in the suit and mask he was…humbler. Now that he's fully healed and emperor, his arrogance seems to be growing more each day. And yet, did I over react about the speeders? He was only trying to do something nice for the children after all. Was I being hypersensitive as he said? Perhaps I was- but that still did not give him the right to insult me. I can't remember a time in the many years I've known him when he's done so, and it hurts to think of it now. I know he was frustrated with me…and yet; is he so out of touch with me now that he doesn't have the sensitivity to treat me with the respect he used to? Was it just the darkness inside of him that made him say those cruel things? If so, how will I ever get used to this? Luke and Leia seem to think that he will change, that being with his family will bring him back to the good side. I hope they're right. In fact, I'm not sure how I will deal with it if they're not.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I know that Piett is surprised to see me on board the _Executor_, but he's wise enough to not say so. He knows better by now than to ask questions that verge on the personal.

"Prepare to leave orbit," I tell him as I enter the bridge. "Immediately."

"Yes sir," Piett replies, nodding in the direction of the helmsman. He walks over to me, unable to hold back from asking me what's going on. "Heading, sir?" he asks.

I hand him the datapad that he himself put together. "You should know better than anyone," I tell him. Piett takes the device and looks down at it, and then back up at me.

"You wanted to scout the region, sir?" he asks.

I nod. "Yes, there's no sense putting it off," I tell him. "I don't want the rebellion getting too comfortable."

He smiles. "Excellent thinking, sir," he replies. He walks over to the navigation station and gives the coordinates to the navigator, and then returns to me.

"May I ask how you and your family are enjoying your new home?" he asks carefully.

"The children love the house," I tell him with a smile. "I don't think they've even discovered all the rooms and hidden passages yet."

Piett smiles. "And Lady Vader?" he asks.

The smile fades from my face as I recall the last time I spoke to my wife. "She seems quite content as well," I add.

Piett must sense the tension and asks no more questions. He's wise to back off at this point. I have no desire to hash out my marital difficulties with my subordinate.

I am torn now, for I know that I am stronger, more powerful than I have ever been. My understanding and knowledge of the dark side is unmatched, my strength equally so. Not only that, I am master of the galaxy- I answer to no one. And yet- is it that same power that causes me to hurt the woman I love repeatedly? I cannot accept that it is- after all, I embraced the Dark Side out of love for her. This is simply a time of adjustment for us. I'm confident that in time we will adjust to one another once more. I won't lose her again now- now that I have everything in the palm of my hand. Padmé just needs to accept me for the way I am now, and all will be well. She loves me, after all. So, in time, she _will _accept me. Of this I have no doubt.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 41 _ Voice of Luke Skywalker_

Dad has been gone four days already, and we haven't heard from him. That's so unlike him, and it worries me that something big is going on. Mom said he left to go attend to business- but even she doesn't know what that means. But since Dad is still very much a Sith, that could mean something really sinister and intense. Is that what they were fighting about? Does Mom know what he's doing, but is having serious issues with it? The big party Mom has worked so hard to prepare is coming up next week – will Dad be back for that? And if he is, will there still be all this tension between he and Mom? I hate that the very first birthday I get to share with my twin sister is being messed up with all this. It's not fair to either of us. It's really not fair to Mom, because even though I don't know what happened, I know that it's more than likely that Dad is the one to blame. I know that probably sounds biased- but experience has taught me well.

"Homework all done?" Mom asks me as she steps into my room. Leia and I look up at her at the same time.

"Almost," I say. "I'm just helping Leia with quantum mechanics."

Mom looks at Leia. "You're having trouble with that?" she asks.

Leia shrugs. "Not exactly," she replies. "Luke just explains it better than our instructor does."

Mom smiles. "Luke's inherited your father's gifts when it comes to mechanics," she says. "I've never been good at them either." She looks sad for a moment, and then covers up again. She's really good at that.

"When is Dad coming home?" Leia asks. "He _is _going to be here for our party, isn't he?" I've learned that my sister isn't afraid of speaking her mind.

"I'm sure he will be here for your party," Mom says. "But as to when he's returning, I know as much as you do I'm afraid."

I wish I had the words to say to my mother to reassure her that everything was going to be okay; but I'm just a kid after all, and I know next to nothing about relationships. Okay, I know nothing. But even in my ignorance, I know that things aren't right between my parents. And that is really scary.

"Don't stay up too late," Mom says as always.

"We won't," we reply, as always. Mom leaves us, and I turn to Leia.

"Do you think it's a good idea to remind Mom about this whole mess with Dad?" I ask her.

Leia frowns. "What? I just asked her a question."

"Yeah, but …she's really upset," I point out. Usually it's Leia telling me that I've put my foot in my mouth- it's weird to be on the other end of this conversation.

"I know she is," Leia replies, standing up. "But maybe if she'd talk about it, she'd feel better," she adds. "I was hoping that my question would make her open up a little."

"Well, it was worth a shot I guess," I reply. "But she obviously doesn't want to talk about it. I wonder if Dad would," I muse.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"I mean, maybe we ought to contact him," I say. "Tell him how upset she is."  
"Do you think it would make a difference?" she asks.

"It did before," I tell her. "And he did tell me to tell him when he was being a jack ass."

Leia smirks. "Thinks this qualifies?" she asks.

"I don't know the details, but I'd bet my last credit that it does," I tell her.

Leia nods. "Then maybe we ought to try and get to him," she says. "I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of the two of them fighting all the time."

"I'm totally tired of it," I assure her. "Let's do it now."

_Voice of Darth Vader _

It's late, and I'm almost ready to turn in. It's been a productive day. We've established a location for the new Death Star, and I have been in meetings with technologist and engineers for the past two days. I think they have a solid understanding of my designs, and know what I want. I have commanded schematics to be completed in a week, and I'm sure they know how particular I will be about them. This is _my _Death Star- _my _ masterpiece. It will outshine Palpatine's monstrosity by light years.

As I enter the bedroom I hear the comm sound. I've been feeling somewhat guilty for not having contacted my family for the past few days- but the time has been going so quickly with all the meetings and preparation I simply haven't had the time. I sit down at the computer and open the channel, knowing who it is even before their faces materialize. I smile upon seeing my children, but sense that they are on a mission. I brace myself for their tactics.

"Hello," I say. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too," Leia says. "Why haven't you contacted us?" she asks. She may look like Padmé, but she certainly inherited my forthrightness.

"I've been extremely busy," I tell them. "I'm sorry."  
"When are you coming home?" Luke asks me next. "Our party is next week."

I nod. "I know," I reply. "I will be home before that, I promise you."

They seem to accept this, and say nothing for a moment, as though conferring silently. I'm sure that's exactly what they're doing.

"What happened between you and Mom?" Leia asks. "She's been upset since you left."  
I frown, not appreciating their prying into this. "I don't think that's your business," I tell my daughter.

Leia's face flushes pink and she sits back in her chair. Luke, however, doesn't back down.

"You've upset her, Dad," he tells me. "And you once told me to tell you when you acting like a jerk," he reminds me.

I believe the term was jack ass, but that's neither here nor there.

"And you assume that because your mother is upset that it's my doing," I ask him.

Luke frowns, clearly unsure of himself at this point. "Well…we just assumed you and her had been fighting," he tells me. "Are we wrong?"

I can't deny this and shake my head. "No, you're not," I tell them.

"Then why haven't you been in contact to talk to her?" Leia asks. "She's really upset, Dad."

I nod, the guilt that I've been holding at bay for days now finally sinking in.

"What would you suggest?" I ask them.

"Come home," Luke says.

"Lots of flowers," Leia adds. I have to smile at her suggestion.

"Perhaps both?" I ask. They smile in response.

"I will be home as soon as humanly possible, okay?" I ask them.

"Good," Leia replies. "And the flowers?"  
"I'll have them sent as soon as I can," I tell her. "Is that…satisfactory?"

"We'll see," Luke replies. "It all depends on Mom."  
I nod, realizing that mere flowers will not be sufficient to assuage her hurt feelings. "Time for bed," I tell them. "Goodnight."

"Night Dad," they reply.

I end the transmission and reflect for a moment before standing up and heading to bed. Is my presence on board really required at this point? I've set the wheels in motion, after all. Perhaps my wife should take priority now, and perhaps I do need to make amends to her.

I turn around and leave the quarters, determined to make things right with the woman I love before I sleep this night.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I have difficulty falling asleep, I have every night since Vader left. I've become so accustomed to his large, warm body in my bed every night that I'm restless when he's not there. The sleep I do get is restive, and I find myself waking up frequently. Broken sleep – I wonder if no sleep at all is preferable.

One of my pockets of sleep manages to reach a reasonably depth, for I find myself dreaming, and I know I only do that when I'm sleeping deeply. It's a very pleasant dream, and a very vivid one. I dream that my husband is in our bed, and he's nuzzling my neck softly as his hands slide down over my body. I'm sure I'm smiling in my sleep, for the dream is so real, almost as though…

I open my eyes and see at once that I am not , in fact, dreaming. Vader is at my side, watching me as I wake up. He smiles as I open my eyes.

"Hi," he says, running his hand up one of my bare arms. "Sorry if I woke you."

"No you're not," I reply with a smile.

He laughs softly. "Well, maybe not," he admits, his hand moving to the side of my face. "I hope you don't mind," he adds.

I shake my head. "Not at all," I tell him, noticing only now that there are bouquets of flowers everywhere in our bedroom. "I can't think of a nicer way to be awoken," I add.

"Good," he says, moving closer to me, and kissing me deeply. I wrap my arms around his neck as Vader slides into the bed. His mouth moves to my neck, his hands slipping under my thin nightgown. He knows just how to touch me to make me forget everything, all the problems, all the stress. When he's with me like this nothing else matters. It's so easy to ignore the problems between my husband and I when we're together this way – so tempting just to pretend they don't even exist….

Later, as I lay in my husband's arms, I examine his face as he sleeps. He's aged so little, it's almost unnoticeable. His hair is coming in as thick as ever, and is spiky on his head now. A lump comes to my throat as I watch him sleep, my love for him so profound it's almost frightening. I know that no matter what we are going through, no matter what the future holds, that will never change.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

I awaken early on the day of the big party, thoughts of it the first that enter my mind. I'm _so _excited. This is sure to be the very best celebration of my birthday I've ever had because it's the first one that I'll get to share with my twin brother and my real parents. I know that Luke is as excited as I am; I wonder if he's awoken early like me. I feel badly that his guardians declined our invitation to come – something about harvest time. Luke doesn't seem surprised by this, but I know he's disappointed. At least he'll have some of his friends from Tatooine here to celebrate. They arrived yesterday, and are a lot of fun. I'm sure Biggs Darklighter was flirting with me, even though Luke tells me I'm crazy.

Mom is eating breakfast when I get downstairs, and looks up at me with a smile.

"Good morning," she says, standing up and coming over to me. She comes over to me and gives me a big hug. "Happy birthday, sweetheart," she says. I hug her back, sensing how strong my mother's emotions are as she embraces me. It only takes me a moment to realize why that is: this is the first time she's ever got to wish me a happy birthday.

"Thanks Mom," I reply. "Is Luke up yet?" I ask her as she releases me.

"Not yet," she replies. "He was up pretty late catching up with his friends," she tells me.

I smile. "True," I reply as I help myself to some breakfast from the buffet. "What about Dad?"

"He's in the shower," Mom tells me.

I nod as I sit down to eat. I was so surprised to see Dad return so unexpectedly a few days ago. He and Mom have been getting along famously ever since. I'm so relieved that they are – I really hate it when they fight.

"When did Bail say he was arriving?" Mom asks me.

"Sometime this morning," I tell her. "He's already on the capital, so I'm sure he'll be here in good time."

Mom nods, but I can sense that she's tense. I know how my father feels about my adoptive father- he mistrusts him because he thinks he's a rebel. I'd hate to think what would happen if Dad ever learned the truth. I'm not sure that my love for the Viceroy would be enough to keep Dad from arresting him as a traitor.

"Happy birthday, princess," Dad says as he enters the room. I smile as he comes over to me and kisses my cheek.

"Thanks Dad," I reply. "I can't tell you what it means to celebrate my birthday with you and Luke," I tell my parents.

My mother smiles as she puts her hand over my father's.

"It means a great deal to us too, sweetheart," she tells me. "More than words can say."

It isn't long before the great hall of our home fills up with party guests. Everything looks so beautiful; Mom has spared no expense to transform our home into something absolutely magical. I know that this party means as much to her as it does to me and Luke.

"You look lovely," my adoptive father tells me as we share a moment together. "You're all grown up already."

I smile. "Not quite," I tell him. I can see my real father watching us from across the room, and I don't need to be force sensitive to know how he feels. But he's behaving himself, so I can't really complain.

"Luke is a wonderful young man," he tells me next. "I'm so happy that you two are finally together," he adds. I know he's sincere, which means so much since I know how hard it was for him to lose me.

"Yes he is," I agree. "It's like we've been together all along," I add.

He smiles as his eyes wander over to where Mom is talking to Aunt Sola. "I'm so happy for you mother, Leia," he says. "After everything that she's been through, she deserves to have her family all together."

I couldn't agree more.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

"Pretty sweet digs you got here, Skywalker," Tank tells me as we walk back into the house. "Pretty sweet."

I nod. "Yeah, I guess so," I reply. I'm actually a little self-conscious about all the luxury now that my old friends are here. Biggs was always well off, but my other friends, not even close.

"I still can't believe you're the son of the emperor," Fixer comments. "Talk about lucking out."

I shrug. "I don't really care that he's the emperor," I tell them. "I'm just happy to be with my parents and my sister."

"Come on, Luke," Deak says. "You can't tell us you're not enjoying all this," he asks, gesturing to the opulence of the room we're standing in.

They don't get it- they don't see that the money means nothing to me. It's my family that means the most to me.

"So tell me about the Academy," I ask them, wanting to change the subject. Biggs and Tank are on another campus than the one I was at so briefly, and came to the party in their cadet uniforms. No doubt they're trying to impress my father. I don't think he's noticed.

"You know, same old crap," Biggs shrugs, his eyes scanning the room. I know he's looking for Leia. He made it pretty obvious that he likes her last night.

"Forget it, Biggs," I tell him. "She's not interested."

He turns and looks at me quickly. "Who? What are you talking about?"

I roll my eyes. "My sister," I say. "You're pretty obvious."

He frowns and looks away, embarrassed. I grin. Boy, have I missed these guys.

"Come on," I say to my buddies. "We've got a workshop that you guys have _got _ to see."

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I'm happy to see Luke leading his friends away from the party. I didn't like the way that Darklighter boy was looking at Leia. I'll be glad to see the lot of them gone. Luke doesn't need those low class boys as friends. I know the type well—Anchorhead trash, the lot of them. He's better than them- I just wish he'd realize that and break contact with them.

"Things are going well, don't you think?" Padmé asks, looking up at me with a smile.

I nod. "I suppose so," I agree.

"Something wrong?" she asks.

I look down at her. "What makes you think something's wrong?" I ask.

"Well, because you haven't exactly been the most sociable person in the room," I tell her.

I frown. "You know I hate parties," I tell her.

"I know you do," she replies. "But would it kill you to say hello to our guests?"  
"I said hello," I protest.

"Not to Bail Organa you haven't," she points out.

I frown. "I've allowed him to enter my home," I tell her. "That's about all I can manage."

"Oh come on," she says, linking her arm through mine. "It would mean so much to Leia if you could at least say hello to him. Come on," she says, tugging on my arm.

I sigh, annoyed that she is being so tenacious. I know my wife well, and know that she won't let up until I give in to her demands. I suppose saying hello won't be terribly painful.

"Very well," I say. "Hello, and that's it. Don't expect me to make idle chit chat with the man."

She smiles triumphantly and leads me across the room to where Organa is talking to Leia. I must think of my daughter at this point, and not the intense hatred I have for the man she once called Father, a man I know is involved in the Rebellion.

Leia smiles as she sees her mother and I draw near, and Organa turns to look at me. I can sense his hatred for me, and, what's more, his apprehension.

"Hello Bail," Padmé says, ever the diplomat. "Thank you so much for coming."

Organa smiles at my wife. "I wouldn't miss it for anything," he tells her, glancing at me and then looking back at Padmé.

"It means so much to Leia," Padmé says, squeezing my arm, telling me silently to say something.

"Yes, it means a lot to her," I add emotionlessly.

Bail looks at me. "Well I love Leia very much," he tells me. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."

"Nor I," I tell him, sensing a challenge. "My family is more important to me than anything," I add.

Organa smiles, but I can sense his contempt behind it. "Well you have a remarkable family," he tells me. "You should be very appreciative of them."  
I frown, ever so slightly. "I am," I assure him. "Appreciative and proud," I add.

Organa nods, and looks at Padmé. "As indeed you should be," he says. "Padmé did a remarkable job of running things when you were recovering from your surgery."

I can sense Padmé's anxiety level skyrocket at this comment, and I have to wonder why.

"She did," I agree.

"And she had a lot to contend with too," he adds. The expression on his face after uttering this words tells me he regrets them at once.

"What do you mean?" I ask, sensing Padmé's anxiety rise another notch. Organa makes no reply, and simply looks like a man who's trying very hard to hide something.

"What is he talking about?" I ask my wife, looking down at her.

Padmé says nothing for a moment, and looks at Organa and then up at me. "Ani, I…"

"What is going on?" I demand, starting to grow angry. "What is he talking about, Padmé?" I ask her again. "Tell me!"

"Anakin, please lower your voice," Padmé says, looking around. "People are starting to stare."  
"I don't give a damn if people are starting to stare," I retort. "I want to know what you're hiding," I tell her, looking back at Organa. "What _he's_ hiding," I add.

"Let's go another room to talk about this," Padmé suggests finally.

"Fine," I say, heading to the office, Padmé following. I can feel the anger inside of me growing, despite my efforts to keep it at bay. The thought that my wife is somehow involved with Organa in something is simply too much to bear, and I won't rest until I know what it is.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I'm nauseous at the thought of the conversation I have to have with Vader now- a conversation I'd hope would never happen. But it's unavoidable now. I know how intuitive my husband is, how skilled he is at reading the thoughts of others. If he were to find out that Bail is indeed a leader in the Rebel Alliance, Vader would not hesitate to arrest him as a traitor. He wouldn't care that doing so would break Leia's heart. I have to make sure that doesn't happen, even if it means bringing Vader's anger down on myself.

I close the door behind me once we reach the office and turn to my husband. He is leaning against the edge of his desk, his arms folded tightly over his chest. I swallow hard, and walk into the office.

"What is going on?" he asks simply. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Anakin, please calm down," I tell him. "You're getting worked up for something that is in the past."  
"What difference does that make?" he retorts. "You're clearly covering up for something, and judging by the fear in your eyes, it's something big."  
I frown. "I am not afraid of you," I tell him.

He stands up. "I didn't say that," he retorts. "But clearly you're afraid of something. What is it? Or can I guess?"  
I say nothing, not even knowing how to respond at this point, and he goes on.

"You're covering for Organa, aren't you?" he asks, watching me closely. "The fact that he's involved with the Rebellion."

"No, that's _not _what I'm covering," I tell him, deciding I need to steer his thinking away from the Rebellion completely. "Bail has done nothing wrong," I assure him. "If you're going to be angry at someone, be angry at me."

He frowns, and I can tell he doesn't like me defending Bail. "Why? What have you done?" he asks.

I look away for a moment, trying to word what I need to tell him in the manner that will cause the least amount of damage. But there doesn't seem to be a away- and so I just tell him.

"I asked Bail for advice," I admit finally. "When you were in stasis."

His frown deepens. "Advice about what?" he asks.

"The Death Star," I tell him. "When I was trying to decide about dismantling it, I asked him for advice."

Vader says nothing in reasons for a moment, and turns away from me. His silence at this point is ominous. "You…._told _ him about the Death Star?" he asks, not looking at me. "Or perhaps he already knew about it?" he adds.

"He knew nothing about it," I lie. "But when I explained the situation, he…"

Vader turns back to me, and I step back when I see that his eyes are yellow. "You explained it to him?" he asks me, his voice full of anger. "You told a known rebel sympathizer, probably even leader, about the Empire's greatest weapon?"

"Anakin please," I say, growing fearful. "The Death Star was rubble, it was…"  
"And he was more than pleased to advise you to destroy it utterly," he suggests.

"Your own men said the same," I remind him. "And…"

"You collaborated with my enemy!" he accuses me angrily. "You…you _betrayed _me!"  
His words send a shiver of terror through me, and I begin to have flashbacks of Mustafar. Those were the words he used before he attacked me.

"How can you say that?" I cry. "I was trying to do the right thing! I…"  
"You gave sensitive military information to an enemy of the Empire!" he shouts. "How is that _not _betrayal?"

"I would never betray you!" I cry, fighting to hold back my hysteria. "I thought you'd learned that after what happened on Mustafar!"

His eyes narrow, still as yellow as sulphur, and he says nothing for a moment. I know he hates to be reminded of that day.

"The two incidents are unrelated," he says finally. He turns away from me. "I'm leaving," he says. "I don't want to do something I'll regret," he adds, and heads to the passageway behind the fireplace that leads to the lower level. I watch him go, his words leaving me chilled and shaken. I sit down in the large leather chair behind me, trembling with emotion. Unable to hold back my emotions any longer, I drop my face into my hands and cry.


	37. Chapter 37

_My abject apologies for the very long delay - computer issues, small children, 30 seventh graders, etc...etc... _

_enjoy :) _

Chapter 43 _Voice of Luke Skywalker_

My friends have discovered the buffet table at last, and I leave them to feed their faces. I'm feeling unsettled, and I don't know why. I look around for my sister and find her talking to our Aunt Sola. I go over to them at once.

"Where's Mom and Dad?" I ask Leia.

Leia frowns, and I know at once that my feelings were right.

"They went to talk alone," she tells me.

"What about?" I ask anxiously.

Leia hesitates for a moment.

"Go on, Leia," Aunt Sola urges. "Tell Luke what you just told me."

So Leia does, and describes what happened earlier between Mom, Dad and the Viceroy. A sick feeling starts in my stomach as I listen to her. If Dad finds out that Mom consulted with Viceroy Organa about the Death Star….I hate to think about what the fall out would be.

"We have to find them," I tell Leia. "Right now."

Aunt Sola looks worried and takes my arm as I turn away. "Surely your father wouldn't hurt your mother, would he?" she asks.

Leia and I look at one another, neither of us sure how to answer the question.

"No," I say finally, hoping with all my heart that I'm right. "But I know she's upset- very upset. We need to find her."

Aunt Sola nods, and then joins Leia and me as we leave the great hall. Both my sister and I are able to sense our mother's presence, and find her quickly. She's in the office, crying.

"Mom? What's wrong? What's going on?" I ask her as Leia and Aunt Sola go over to confront her.

"Padmé, please tell us he didn't hurt you," Aunt Sola says.

Mom looks up at her and shakes her head. She wipes her tears and tries to compose herself.

"Not physically," Mom says. "But…he's so angry," she adds as her eyes fill up again. "His eyes were like they were on Mustafar."

"What do you mean?" Aunt Sola asks.

"They were yellow," Mom says.

Leia and I look at one another, and I know she's thing the same thing I am : the Dark Side of the Force.

"Padmé, I want you to pack a bag," Aunt Sola says. "I want you to come to Naboo with me."

Mom looks at her sister in shock, as though the idea is too horrifying to consider.

"Leave?" she says finally. "How can I leave my family?"  
"Luke and Leia can come with you," Aunt Sola suggests. "You need a break from this, Padmé," she adds. I'm sorry children, but your father is treating your mother horribly, just ...horribly.

"You're right," I reply, nodding my head. "He is, and has been for a while now. I think Aunt Sola is right, Mom," I tell her. "I think you need a break from all this."

Mom still doesn't look convinced, and I'm amazed a the depth of her commitment to my father. Even after all he's put her through, and continues to put her through, she is still unwilling to be parted from him.

"It's not like your _leaving _him, Mom," Leia adds. "It's just a vacation, some time apart until he cools off."  
Mom nods, starting to come around. "I _have _been wanting to take you both to Naboo," she tells us.

"There you go," Aunt Sola says. "This is the perfect opportunity to do so. After all the planning and preparation you've done for this party, you could use a break."

No one in the room believes for a moment that this is the real motivation behind this trip, but it sounds good.

"Very well," Mom says. "I'll do it."

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I leave the house, needing to get away. I am so deeply shaken by what I've learned, of how my wife has betrayed me. How could she? How could she collaborate with Organa? And then defend him the way she did? I know that my wife loves me…but how can I trust her now? Not knowing where I'm going, I take out one of the speeders from the hangar and simply fly away from the property I've come to think of as home.

I've always loved being behind the controls of a fast ship, to feel myself become one with it. I head to the downtown area, flashes of memories assaulting me as I do so. The sight of the senate building fills me with fresh anger, and I vow to make Organa pay somehow for this treachery. Perhaps I will simply dissolve the senate permanently – wipe away the last vestiges of the Old Republic completely. Perhaps then that smirk will be forever removed from Organa's face. The more I think about it, the more I like this idea. Take _all _power from the senate, dismantle the institution utterly, and give control of the sectors to governors who will be appointed by me, and who will answer to me and me alone. Palpatine tried to do this- but the men he appointed were too greedy and used their positions for their own personal gain. Those men are now dead or in prison. No, I will use men of intellect and ingenuity, men who are loyal to me and the vision I have for this new Empire of mine. There will be no exploitation, no oppression- just order. And with the new Death Star I've begun, any hint of rebellion under this new system will be crushed. I smile as I envision Organa's face when he learns about the new order, when he realizes that he is now impotent. Perhaps that will teach him not to try and interfere with my Empire and conspire with my wife.

It's very late when I return home, and the party is over, the house quiet. I head upstairs, unsure how things will be between Padmé and me now. I hate that I frightened her earlier, for I know I did; but I was very angry with her. I still am. So how do I reconcile this and move on with life?

Padmé is in bed when I reach our bedroom, but I know she's not sleeping. I get undressed and slip into bed. Padmé has her back to me and says nothing.

"Padmé, are you awake?" I ask, knowing the answer already.

"Yes," comes her response. Her guard is up, which doesn't surprise me. "I'm surprised you've come home," she adds, still not turning around.

"I didn't like the way things were left," I tell her. "Can we talk about it?"

"What's to talk about?" she asks. "You think I betrayed you. Again."  
I bite back my response, which I'm sure would only make things worse. My silence makes her turn around to face me. I can see that she's been crying a great deal, which only makes me feel worse.

"I'm sorry I've upset you," I tell her.

She frowns ever so slightly. "Are you?"

"Of course," I tell her. "I don't want to hurt you, Padmé," I add. "But…I feel betrayed that you would go to Organa the way you did."

"I told you that I did what I thought was best," she replies, her tone cold. "Clearly you don't believe that," she adds.

I hesitate before responding, unsure what to say at this point. I hate that we're at odds this way- but have no idea how to make things better.

"I …I don't believe you knew what you were doing," I tell her finally. "I think you asked Organa innocently," I add. "But the fact remains that he is a Rebel sympathizer and would have his own agenda where the Death Star was concerned."

She looks at me for a moment as she considers this. "Even if that's true," she responds finally, "it wasn't his idea to dismantle it. It was mine. I simply wanted someone to talk to about it, someone who wasn't just going to agree with me just because I'm your wife."

She makes a valid point. "I suppose that …makes sense," I admit at last.

"Does that mean we can put this behind us?" she asks.

"I suppose it does," I reply.

Her eyes narrow. "You don't sound too sure about that," she comments.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask, growing exasperated.

"I want you to say that you know I didn't betray you," she replies. "If I can get over the past, then you should be able to as well, don't you think?"

How did I know that she would bring up the past yet again?

"Yes," I say finally. "I should."

She looks at me for a moment without saying anything, but the expression in her eyes has softened a little. "Good," she says. "Goodnight," she adds, and turns over again.

I suppose her attitude isn't surprising. Looks like I won't be getting any action this night.

"Goodnight," I say, deciding whether or not to put my arms around her. I decide to take a chance, and slip one arm under her and the other around her waist. She doesn't resist my embrace, which is a good sign.

"I'm taking the twins to Naboo tomorrow," she tells me. "We're going with Sola."

"Very well," I say. "But don't take public transport," I tell her. "Piett can take you, Sola as well."

"Okay," she replies.

"How long are you going for?" I ask.

"I don't know yet," she replies sleepily. "I just wanted to get away for a few days. And the twins have never seen Naboo."

"You need a break, you should go," I concur. "I can come join you in a few days if you wish," I add, hoping she won't hate the idea.

"If you want to, sure," she replies.

Her response isn't as enthusiastic as I'd like, but at least it's not a refusal. I snuggle up behind her, feeling her relax against me, just as she does every night. I nuzzle my face in her thick mane of hair to kiss the slender neck hidden beneath it. Padmé doesn't respond, but I don't give up just yet. I bring my hand up from around her waist to caress her under the flimsy fabric of her nightgown. This elicits a response in her finally, and she turns her head so that we are face to face. She brings her mouth to mine, and kisses me with a sense of urgency that I love so well. I pull my hand away and turn her body, wrapping my arms around her as her hands work their way into my hair.

Padmé breaks our kiss and moves her mouth to my ear. She nips on my earlobe, and then I hear her whisper.

"I want you," she breathes against my ear. I smile, only too happy to oblige her. We make love with a sense of urgency, a heightened sense of need which is usually how it works out after we've had a fight.

Later, as my wife lies in my arms, I kiss her brow, both of us worn out from our lovemaking. She looks up at me with a smile, our fight earlier forgotten.

"I love you," she says, drawing a finger down the side of my face.

I capture her hand in mine and kiss the underside of her wrist. "I love you too," I tell her. Padmé smiles, and then snuggles up against me where she falls asleep. I watch her sleep, my own eyes growing heavy. And, before long, I fall asleep too.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

The mood at the breakfast table the next morning is subdued and quiet after the previous night's incident. My brother's friends have gone, and it's just him, Aunt Sola and I eating breakfast.

"You're both going to love Naboo," Aunt Sola tells us, trying to lift our spirits. "The house we have up in the Lake District is beautiful, and the scenery up there just spectacular. Your mother and I spent a great deal of time up there as children."

"Mom's told us about it," I tell my aunt. "I can't wait to see it for myself."

Aunt Sola smiles. "I just wish your grandparents were still alive," she tells us. "They would have loved you both so much."

"Good morning," Mom says as she enters the room. She's far happier than I thought she'd be this morning, and then I realize why. Dad is right behind her.

"Good morning," Dad says as he pulls a chair out for Mom. It looks like they patched things up since last night. I'm so relieved!

"Your mother tells me you're taking a trip to Naboo," Dad says as he sits down.

"Yeah," Luke replies, looking as surprised as I feel. "We're going with Aunt Sola in a couple of hours."  
"There's no need for you to take public transport," Dad says. "I've already contacted the _Executor. _Piett will be sending a shuttle down to pick you all up in an hour or so."

Aunt Sola looks surprised now. "That's really not necessary," she says. "I've already got passage booked."

"You can get a refund, can't you?" Mom says. "It's far more comfortable on board the star destroyer."

Aunt Sola nods. "I suppose I can," she replies. "Thank you," she adds, looking at Dad.

"Not at all," Dad replies, looking at Mom with a smile. He puts his hand on hers. "Anything for my family."

Luke and I look at one another with wide eyes.

_What the heck's going on? _he asks me silently.

_I don't know, but I'm glad they're not fighting any more. _

_Yeah, no kidding. So why are we still going to Naboo?_

_For a break, stupid._

Luke makes a face at me but I simply ignore him.

"Will you be coming too, Dad?" Luke asks.

"I will in a few days, yes," Dad replies. "I have some work to do here first."

"I can't wait to see the house on the lake," I say with a smile. "It sounds sooo amazing."

Mom smiles and looks up at Dad. "It certainly is amazing," she replies.

An hour later we head to the hangar on the other side of the property, Artoo and Threepio coming with us. Dad has insisted that some of his men from the ship stay at the house with us, and even though I know Mom hates the idea, she doesn't say so. I know how hard she's trying to get along with Dad, which isn't always easy.

As we approach the shuttle, I have to suppress my scream of delight upon seeing the officer that Dad has chosen to come with us: HAN SOLO!

_Easy now sis, try not to drool too much. _

I ignore Luke's jab and give Han my most brilliant smile. He smiles back at me.

"Hello there Princess," he says. "Long time no see."

I try to respond in a mature manner, but all I can manage is a silly giggle in response.

_Smooth Leia, real smooth. _

_Shut up Luke. _

Luke smiles in response, but the smile leaves his face when I step on his foot on my way to the shuttle.

"Ow! Leia!" he shouts. "Watch where you're goin!"

"Oops, sorry Luke," I say, giving him a big smile.

After giving our Dad a hug we board the shuttle with Aunt Sola and Han, leaving our parents alone to say their goodbyes.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"I really don't like the way Leia flirts with Solo," Vader says, watching the children disappear into the shuttle. "He's a grown man."

I smile. "She has a crush on him," I remind him. "You know that."

"I know," he replies. "Maybe I should have chosen someone else for this mission," he muses.

"Nonsense," I reply. "Han knows the children well, we all like him and feel comfortable with him. If I must have an imperial officer present, then he's the one I'd chose."

He nods. "Very well," he says. "I'm going to miss you," he tells me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"It will only be a few days," I remind him, running my hands up over his chest.

"I know," he replies. "Still…the bed will seem very big and cold without you."

I smile. "Mine too," I tell him. "But you'll be coming for a visit," I add. "We can…make up for lost time then."

Vader smiles. "I like the sound of that," he says. He bends to kiss me, and as he does I suddenly feel like this trip is unneeded; things are fine between us, more than fine. So why am I leaving now?

"Be sure to contact me when you arrive," he says, taking my face in his hands. "You know how I worry."

"Yes, very well," I reply. "I'll be sure to do so, I promise."

"Good," he responds, and kisses my brow. "Have a good trip. I love you."

"I love you too," I say, and kiss him once more. He releases me, and I board the shuttle, stopping once to wave goodbye to him once more.

I'm glad that Vader suggested we travel to Naboo via star destroyer, for the accommodations we used when we lived on board the _Executor _are far more comfortable than any transport. I know that Sola was a little uneasy with the idea, but now that we're on board and she's seen with her own eyes how pleasant Vader has made things for us, she seems to be relaxing.

"So this was your home before Vader had his surgery," Sola comments as we sit with a cup of tea.

I nod. "He spared no expense to make it as comfortable as possible," I tell her. "It was easy to forget that we were on board a star destroyer."

"I can believe that," she replies. "It's lovely." She hesitates for a moment before saying what's on her mind. "Things seem to be better between you and Vader," she comments. "Did he apologize for the way he treated you?"

"Yes," I tell her at once_. "I'm sorry I've upset you," _is what he actually said- is that the same as an apology? I suppose it will have to be. "Things are fine, Sola," I tell her with a smile. "In fact, he's coming to the Lake in a few days to spend some time with the twins and me."

She smiles, but I know that smile well. It's her indulgent smile, the smile that hides her true feelings. And I'm sure I know what those feelings are.

"That's wonderful Padmé," she says. "I'm so glad to hear it."

I say nothing in response, and we sip our tea in silence for a few minutes.

"Mom, can we go swimming?" Luke asks as he and Leia enter the room.

"You have a _swimming _pool here too?" Sola asks in amazement.

"A _huge _one, Aunt Sola," Leia tells her with a smile.

"You should check it out," Luke adds.

"Maybe I will," Sola replies. "Only…I'm sure I'd get lost on the way back here," she adds with a laugh.

I smile. "I'll come with you," I tell her. "That way you'll be sure to make it back."

We wait for the twins to gather their things and then leave the quarters. The pool is empty, its use reserved exclusively for our use.

"This is incredible!" Sola says as she looks around. "Vader had this installed just for you?" she asks me.

I nod. "I told you he spared no expense," I respond.

"Apparently not," she replies. "I had no idea he was so wealthy."

I'm not sure how to respond at this point, for Vader's wealth is something of a mystery to me as well. I'm sure there are many sources of it; no doubt some of them questionable in their veracity.

We stay to watch the twins swim for a little while before leaving them to their fun.

"Do you want to have a look around?" I ask Sola. "It's still early," I add.

"That's a good idea," Sola replies. "I don't imagine I'll get another chance to tour a star destroyer in the near future," she adds with a smile.

I laugh. "No, not likely," I reply. We start our tour at the bridge, where Piett is his usual gracious and welcoming self. I don't know the ship well enough to take her to every part, but I'm familiar with enough of it to show her a few of the more interesting sections.

As usual, the men and officers are very polite and helpful wherever we go. I can tell that Sola is impressed by the respect I'm afforded by the ship's crew. I'm so pleased that Vader suggested we travel this way, for showing Sola around makes the time go by so much more quickly.

"This is the engineering wing," I tell her as we step off of the lift. "I think this is Luke's favourite part of the ship," I add with a smile. "He loves mechanics as much as his father."

Sola nods, and then frowns as she sees clones standing nearby. "Are they always there?" she asks.

I stop in my tracks. "No, they're not," I respond. "I'll just ask what's going on."

I approach one of the clones who steps forward to bar my way. I'm shocked and stop.

"I'm sorry Ma'm," the clone says. "This is a restricted area."

I frown. "Since when?" I ask.

"Since the Emperor commissioned the new Death Star," the clone replies.

I'm sure I've heard him incorrectly, and frown. "You mean…since the _old _Death Star was destroyed," I respond.

The clone looks at his comrade and then back at me. "No, Milady," he replies. "The new one, the one that Lord Vader himself has designed."

I feel my insides twisting as I realize what he's saying, and suddenly feel quite nauseous. "I see," I manage to reply. I turn to Sola, who must see by the expression on my face that I'm very upset. "Let's go," I say to her. She nods and we turn and return to the lift.

"Padmé, are you all right?" Sola asks me as the lift doors close behind us. "You look as pale as a ghost!"

"I feel sick," I say, putting my face to my brow.

"Are you ill?" she asks, taking my hands. "You were fine just moments ago."

Clearly Sola doesn't understand what it is that has happened, and I'm not about to get into it right now. "Well I'm not now," I tell her.

She frowns, and says nothing more as we leave the lift and head for the quarters we're using for our trip. As soon as I get there I run to the fresher where I immediately throw up. Once I'm finished I stand, rather shakily, to my feet and take a drink of cold water. My hands are shaking as I lean against the counter. How could he do this to me? How ?

"Padmé? Are you okay?" I hear my sister from the other side of the door.

"I think so," I reply.

"May I come in?" she asks.

"Yes," I reply, taking another sip of water.

Sola enters the room, and looks at me with a frown. "Padmé, what's going on?" she asks. "What has you so upset? Is it what the clone said?"

I nod. "A new Death Star, Sola," I tell her. "One I knew nothing about, one my husband has gone to great pains to hide from me."

"Why would he do that?" she asks.

"Because he knows how vehemently I disapproved of the first one," I tell her. "Because he doesn't trust me anymore," I add, the tears I've felt coming finally bursting forth.

Sola hugs me, not knowing what else to do I suppose, as I cry bitter tears.

"Padmé, come and sit down," Sola suggests once I've started to calm down. I let her take me by the hand and lead me into the adjacent room. We sit down on the sofa and I take a moment to collect myself before looking up at my sister.

"How much more of this are you going to take?" she asks me.

I frown. "What do you mean?" I ask, even though I know exactly what she means.

"Vader," she says, her tone bitter as she utters his name. "How much more of his abuse are you going to take?"

"Sola, my husband does _not _abuse me," I assure her. "How could you suggest such a thing?"

"I don't mean physical abuse," she replies. "There are many kinds of abuse, Padmé. Emotional abuse can be as painful as physical abuse, and that's exactly what he's doing to you. Why look at you- you're physically ill because you're so upset."

I look away from her, not wanting to tell her that I suspect that there's another reason why I'm physically ill.

"Anakin loves me," I tell her quietly.

"Then why does he make you feel this way?" she asks. "I've seen you react this way twice now in less than forty-eight hours, Padmé. What does that tell you?"

I frown and say nothing, not wanting to face the ugly truth.

"Padmé, you don't deserve this," she says, taking my hand. "You've already suffered enough because of this man. You shouldn't have to take any more of his abuse."

I turn back and am about to respond when the door opens and the twins enter the room. I say nothing, and give them a forced smile.

"Did you have a good swim?" I ask.

"Yes, it was great," Luke says, flopping down on the sofa. He looks at me, and at once is alarmed.

"What's going on?" he asks, sitting up. "Why are you crying?"

"It's nothing," I tell him, brushing away my tears.

"It's not nothing," Leia puts in, sitting down beside me. "You're so upset we both felt it as soon as we walked in the door," she adds.

I look at my children, knowing that there's no way I can keep the truth from either of them. They're both so intuitive.

"Your mother has had some rather disturbing news," Sola tells them, looking at me. "And she's very upset, as you can both see."

"What news?" Leia asks.

I know that there's no point in trying to hide this from the twins, so I simply tell them.

"Your father has begun construction on a new Death Star," I tell them.

The look of shock on the twins' face tells me that they're as surprised as me by this turn of events.

"But…Dad hated the old Death Star," Leia protests. "Why would he want to build another one?"

"Why indeed," Sola says. "More importantly though, why didn't he tell your mother about it?"  
The twins look at one another, and I can tell they're both uneasy with the answer to this question.

"He didn't tell you because he knew you'd be upset," Luke suggests. "But surely he knew you'd find out eventually," he adds with a frown.

"How did you find out?" Leia asks me.

"A clone told me," I tell my children. "I was giving your aunt a tour and when we got to the engineering sector we were stopped by clones, told it was a restricted area."

"They wouldn't let _you_ pass?" Luke asks with a frown. "You? You're the empress!"

"Yes, but obviously that doesn't mean I can be trusted," I say, the words bitter in my mouth. "I suppose your father figures I'm untrustworthy since he found out that I talked to Bail Organa about the first Death Star."

"You don't know that's the case, Mom," Leia says.

"Then why did he keep it secret from me?" I ask.

Neither Luke nor Leia have an answer for me, and an uneasy silence falls upon us.

"Your majesty, we've dropped out of light speed," Piett informs me via comlink. "We'll be at Naboo within the hour."

"Thank you Admiral," I reply. This trip to Naboo has taken on a totally different feel now that I know what I know. And part of me has to wonder how I will deal with all this when my husband comes to visit.  
_Voice of Darth Vader _

I am glad that I had this office renovated. As I look around, I'm no longer reminded of Palpatine, for this room reeked of him a few weeks ago. I want to put my stamp on every part of the Empire, including this office at the Senate building. Of course, the senate will be extinct very soon- so this office will be used very little. Still, it feels good to have made my mark here, even temporarily.

"Excuse me, Your Majesty," the nervous being standing in front of my desk asks, "you mean to _demolish _the Senate building? Completely?"

I nod, my hands folded casually on the desk top. "Yes, completely," I inform him. "After I've dissolved the council. When is the Senate due to sit in session?"

"At thirteen hundred hours, Majesty," he tells me.

"Good," I say, sitting back in my large chair. "Clear the agenda," I instruct him, knowing that their 'agenda' is merely a sham these days anyway. "I am preparing a statement," I add, looking back down at the data pad on the desk. "Get out and make everything ready."

He leaves me at once, and I return to my task. I want this announcement to be as succinct and brief as possible- I have no intention of allowing this to become a circus. In fact, an idea occurs to me. Summoning the personal guard I have stationed here in the capital, I order a squadron of clones to the senate auditorium, to ensure that order is kept.

By 1300 the enormous auditorium is full. Obviously the senators want to hear what I have to say. I'm looking forward to seeing Bail Organa's reaction when I make my grand address. Show time…

I ascend into the midst of the senators, sensing a myriad of emotions from all around me: curiosity, trepidation, anxiety, anger, fear. Truly they have no idea what's coming. I'm going to enjoy this.

My administrative assistant steps to the front of the pod and holds his hands up to ask for silence. Within a few moments the assembly is quiet. I stand up and take the podium.

"Senators," I begin. "Today marks an historical day in this new Empire - _my _Empire," I continue. "It marks the end of the Old Republic. Effective immediately this council is dissolved," I announce. "I am vesting complete control of the sectors with the regional governors I have put in place," I go on, feeling the shocked outrage from every being present. "You're out of a job, ladies and gentlemen," I continue. "Go now and pack up your offices and leave at once. I'm having this building demolished by the end of the month."

I am certain that there are many questions that have arisen from my startling announcement; but I have no intention of entertaining them. This is not a democracy, and the sooner these people realize that the better. I give a nod to my assistant who gives a signal to the waiting troops. At once the clones make their presence known, appearing at every entrance. The senators, who are truly stunned, get to their feet quickly and begin to file out of the auditorium for the last time. I watch them go, keenly aware of the heightened sense of animosity among them.

"I want a prospectus on my desk by the week's end," I tell my assistant as we return to my office. "I want this demolition finished before anyone has time to mount a protest of any kind."

"I'll make sure of it, Majesty," he replies.

"Be sure you do," I reply. "Now get out, I have work to do."

The man bows and leaves me alone, only too happy to do so.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 45 _Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I sleep little our first night on Naboo. And when I do sleep, I'm troubled by disturbing dreams. I awaken early, woken by a wave of nausea, a feeling that I can not dismiss any longer. I've been suspecting for a while now that I might be pregnant. Part of me is thrilled at the possibility – part of me is terrified. Luke and Leia have been raised by and large by loving, good people, and have grown up with a strong sense of right and wrong, a strong sense of morality. How can I possibly raise this child, if there is indeed a child, to be the same? His father is a Sith, and growing more arrogant, more dangerous by the day. What affect will this have on a tiny, impressionable new life?

I rush to the fresher, and throw up immediately- twice. I remember feeling this way with Luke and Leia. I suppose I shouldn't assume anything until I know for sure - but somehow I don't think I'm wrong.

My comm is sounding when I return to my bedroom. I sit down to respond, expecting to see Vader on the screen. I'm surprised instead to see Bail Organa.

"Bail!" I exclaim. "How did you know I was here?"

"A servant in your household told me you were on vacation," he replies. "I took a gamble that you'd be on Naboo," he adds. Makes sense- but it alarms me that he's so anxious to contact me.

"What's wrong, Bail?" I ask him. "You seem rather…upset."

He frowns. "I _am _upset," he tells me. "And you will be too when I tell you what's going on here."

I feel my stomach lurch as I brace myself for what dire news he's going to tell me.

"Padmé, Vader has dissolved the Senate," he tells me. "Permanently. He announced it this morning."

"What?" I cry. "You must be mistaken!"

Bail shakes his head. "No, I'm not Padmé," he replies. "To quote, _you long longer have a job ladies and gentlemen_," he goes on, his hatred for my husband plain as day. "And not only this, he's planning on demolishing the senate building, Padmé. He said it would be gone within the month."

I'm too shocked to speak, too heartsick to even know what to say at this point. Did he deliberately wait for me to leave the capital before making these sweeping changes? Is that why he didn't object to me going?

"But…that building has been on Coruscant for centuries," I say finally. "It represents…"

"The Republic," Bail cuts me off. "That's exactly why he's doing it, Padmé. He wants to wipe out any trace of the Republic, and make room for _his _Empire. That's what he said, Padmé- _his Empire._"

I don't know if it's this news or something else, but I feel another wave of nausea hit me.

"Padmé? Are you all right?" Bail asks, no doubt seeing my face turn ashen.

"No," I say, standing up. "I have to go, Bail," I say, ending the transmission abruptly. I run back into the fresher and throw up again. Once I've done so, I splash cold water on my face, and then lean on the edge of the counter to steady myself. What should I do? How do I deal with this?

"Mom? You okay?" Leia calls through the door.

"I don't think so," I call back.

There's silence for a moment, and then she calls again. "May I come in?"

"Yes," I reply. The door opens at once, and Leia enters the room. She's still in her bathrobe, her eyes troubled as she looks at me.

"What's wrong?" she asks, coming over to me at once. "What has happened?"

I shake my head, unable to respond as everything comes crashing down around me. My daughter puts her arms around me as I break down at last.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I'm angry – really angry. Even though we're light years away, somehow my father has managed to upset my mother. No, upset is not a strong enough word. She's devastated, and neither Leia nor I know why. Leia is doing her best to comfort Mom, but so far nothing is working. I've never seen her so upset- and it really scares me.

"Mom, tell us what happened," I say when she has finally calmed down.

Mom takes a deep breath, but I know she's still far from calm.

"I just spoke to Bail Organa," she tells us. "And he told me some very upsetting news."

"What? What is it?" Leia asks. "Has something happened to Dad?"  
Mom frowns. "No, nothing has happened to him," she says. "It's something he has done."

Leia and I look at one another, neither of us surprised to hear this.

"What did he do, Mom?" I ask her.

Mom shakes her head, and I know she's fighting not to cry again. "He's…he's dissolved the Senate," she says. "Permanently."

"Can he do that?" Leia asks.

"Of course he can," I tell her. "He's the emperor; he can do whatever he wants."

"And he's doing just that," Mom tells us. "He's doing everything he can to remove all traces of the Old Republic from the galaxy," she explains. "For not only is he removing the Senate assembly, he's having the building it's housed in demolished."

"But…why?" Leia cries. "Why would he do that? It's such a beautiful old building!"  
"Because it's a symbol of democracy," Mom replies, her tone bitter. "Because it represents the Republic," she adds, "and he hates democracy," she continues, her voice losing its strength.

I look at my sister, knowing that she's as outraged as I am. Mom is upset- but I can't help but think that there's more to her upset than what has happened. Granted that's more than enough to upset her – but there's something else going on, something she hasn't told us.

"Mom, how much more of this are you going to take?" I ask her finally.

She looks up at me, but says nothing.

"Look at you," I continue. "You're so upset you're making yourself sick. Leia and I both know you've been throwing up. This is crazy, Mom. You can't go on like this."

Mom looks away, a frown on her face. "I think there's a reason for that," she says. "I think …I think I'm pregnant."

All three of us remain silent for a few moments, Mom's words leaving both Leia and I speechless. I know my mother would love to have another child – but with the way things are between her and my father, she must be having misgivings.

"Mom, if you are pregnant, then you can't stay with Dad," I tell her at last.

Mom frowns, so does Leia.

"What do you mean?" Leia asks. "You mean we should just stay here? Never go home?"

I look at my mother, and I know she understand what I'm saying.

"I think he's suggesting something – a little more permanent," Mom says quietly.

Leia looks at me and then at Mom, and then it dawns on her. "You mean…_divorce?"_

I nod, my eyes not leaving my mother's. I know she hates the idea, but I also know how frightened she is for this child that she might be carrying. But is she frightened enough to do this?

"How can you suggest that?" Leia cries. "Mom _loves _Dad, and he loves her!"

"That's not the issue, Leia," I counter. "Dad is dangerous, you can't deny it, I can't deny it. Do you really want him to hurt this baby? Or Mom while she's carrying it?"

Leia frowns. "He'd _never _do that!" she cries, though I sense that even she isn't sure.

"No? He attacked Mom when she was carrying us," I remind her. "And he's as much a Sith as he was on that day."

Leia says nothing, but looks at Mom. "Mom?" she says simply.

Mom has said nothing, either to dispute what I'm saying or to agree with it. All I can sense from her is sadness and a great sense of all I can describe as resignation.

"Luke is right," she says finally, lowering her eyes. "I can't live with this stress, with this constant tension. If I am pregnant, then this baby's life is in jeopardy if I continue to live under these conditions."

"You mean- you'd do it?" Leia asks. "You'd divorce Dad?"

Mom looks up at Leia, and I can see the tears in her eyes. "If I'm pregnant, then I don't think I have a choice," she tells us. "I love your father, I always have, I always will- but I won't put this baby's life in jeopardy. And so long as your father remains a Sith, then that is the case."

Leia nods, unable to deny what Mom is saying. None of us wants it to end up this way- but none of us wants something tragic to happen either. Mom is right- she doesn't have a choice.

"Perhaps before I make any decisions I should find out one way or another," Mom says. "We can go into town for breakfast and I can get a home pregnancy test. And then, once I know…decisions will have to be made."

"Sounds like a good plan," I tell her. I reach over and take one of her hands. "No matter what you decide, Mom, you know we're behind you."

"That's right," Leia adds, putting an arm around Mom. "We'll support you no matter what."

Mom smiles. "I know," she says softly. "And I love you both so much for it."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

We travel into Theed for breakfast, though I'm not sure how much I'll be able to eat. I'm happy to be able to bring my children to a little café I once frequented, but know that I'll have no peace of mind until I know for sure if I'm pregnant or not. I decide to leave the twins to look over the menu and head down the block to a small pharmacy that we passed on the way to the restaurant.

"Well?" Leia asks when I rejoin them a little while later. "Are you going to do it now?"

I nod. "Order something for me," I tell them. "I'll be right back."

"I'm coming with you," Leia says, standing up.

I nod, and we leave Luke to order our meals and head for the ladies' room.

"Do we have to wait long for the results?" Leia asks as I head into a cubicle with the little plastic wand in hand.

"No," I reply. "Less than a minute."

"Okay," Leia replies, and then waits in silence for me to return. I do so quickly, and together we watch the small window on the wand. It seems like an eternity before we start to see something happening. First the entire window turns pink, which just means the test was administered. But shortly after this, a very clear plus sign appears in the window. It's positive. I'm pregnant.

Leia looks up at me, unsure how to react. To be honest, I'm not sure either. On the one hand I'm elated to know that I'm carrying another baby- but knowing that in order to keep this baby safe I must divorce its father…

"It's going to be okay, Mom," Leia says, putting her arms around me.

I hug her back, praying to the Maker that she's right.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

"That's it? That's the best you could come up with?" I shout as I toss the datapad across the room. It shatters against the wall, and my assistant, if you can use the term, jumps at the sound of it.

"But my lord," he stammers. "There are only so many companies would will undertake a project of this size," he tells me. "If I had more time…"

I lift my hand and push the man across the room with the Force, sending him against the same wall that the datapad smashed against. "Get out of my sight," I growl. "And if you can't do better than this, then start looking for a new job."

He scrambles to his feet, brushing broken glass from his clothes, and bows low, backing out of the room.

I sit back down in my chair, frustrated that my plans will have to be put on hold for now. Palpatine made the mistake of allowing the senate to exist, allowing pieces of the Republic to remain in existence. He should have purged the galaxy completely, and I suggested to him that he should. But he didn't want to listen, said he'd rather keep reminders around to rub salt in the wounds, so to speak. He always was a sadistic bastard.

"Lord Vader, there is someone here to see you," my secretary informs me over the comm.

"Who is it? What do they want?" I ask her.

"He won't tell me, Sire," she replies. "But he's been given a full security check. Should I let him in."

I sigh, and run my hand over my spiky hair. "Very well," I reply.

The door opens at once and a man I don't recognize enters. I don't recognize him, but he seems quite confident as he approaches my desk.

"Anakin Skywalker?" he asks as he reaches my desk.

I frown at the sound of the name, and stand up to use my physical presence to intimidate him. "_No one _calls me that," I warn him.

He doesn't seem intimidated. "Your wife does," he says, handing me a package. "You're being served, sir," he adds. He turns and leaves me without another word.

I frown, not knowing what he means. I open the package and find a datapad and a set of documents. I scan them over, and then do so again, for I'm sure that what I've read cannot be correct.

_PETITION FOR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE_

My heart starts to pound hard in my chest as I scan over the document, hoping that this is simply a bad dream. But Padmé's name is on it, my name is on it, and the names of our children are on it. I recognize my wife's signature at the bottom. This is no dream, this is real. This is a legal document, a petition for divorce. I'm in a state of shock. My eyes dart over the words until something makes me stop cold: _There is no reasonable likelihood that the marriage between Petitioner and Respondent can be preserved, and therefore, the marriage is irretrievably broken. _

Since when? Did I miss something? The last time I spoke to my wife, she told me how much she was looking forward to seeing me, told me she loved me. When did she decide that our marriage was…irretrievably broken?

I stand up, feeling myself fill with rage. With one swipe of my arm, I send everything on top of my desk crashing to the floor. _ You can't divorce me unless I agree to it, Padmé, _I reflect angrily as I storm out of the room. _And you're sadly mistaken if I'm going to do that. _


	39. Chapter 39

_A.N. There is some use of strong language in this chapter. I don't normally use such language, but given the circumstances I felt it was appropriate. I do apologize if the use of these words offends anyone. _

Chapter 46 _Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I haven't been able to sleep since I had the petition for divorce sent. I know how angry Vader will be; in fact I'm fully prepared for him to contest it. He's so oblivious; he has no idea of how out of control he is right now. And no doubt even when I do explain my reasoning to him, he won't understand. I won't tell him about the baby, at least, I don't want to. I'm not sure that I can hide if from him though- he's so intuitive. And yet, lately he's been very self-centred and unable to consider the feelings of anyone else.

The night is warm as I step out onto the terrace. How many nights I remember standing here with Anakin- on our honeymoon, during those wonderful ten days furlough he was granted when he was knighted. So many wonderful memories revolve around this place. I wish I could stop loving him- it would make this so much easier to bear.

"Mom? You okay?"

I turn to see Luke walking towards me. My children are both very close to me now- so in tune with me. I'm not surprised that one of them has sensed me awake and restless this night.

"Not exactly," I tell him.

My son walks over to me and stands next to me against the railing. "You're doing the right thing, Mom," he assures me. "The only thing you can do."

I nod. "I know," I reply quietly. "But I love your father," I add. "I always will. Even with all this – I love him still."

Luke nods, a frown forming on his face. He doesn't say anything and then looks down towards the dock.

"What is it?" I ask him, starting to grow alarmed.

"It's Dad," Luke says. "He's here."

Luke's words fill me with alarm- fear even. If Vader is coming in the middle of the night, he must be truly anxious to see me. And that can only mean one thing- he's here to contest the divorce.

"He's angry, isn't he?" I ask, knowing the answer without having to ask the question.

Luke looks back at me and nods, his eyes troubled. "Very angry," he says.

I feel my insides turn cold, knowing that there's nothing I can do at this point but face Vader, there's nothing I can do to placate him this time. I can only stand my ground and hope that he's at least marginally reasonable.

"I won't let him hurt you, Mom," my son tells me, turning back to me.

"Luke, you don't think he'd actually …"I stop. "He _won't_ hurt me, Luke," I tell him. "He's angry yes- but he'd never hurt me again."

Luke frowns, not quite as sure as I am. We're prevented from debating the issue any further by the appearance of my husband. I watch him as he walks across the terrace in long, angry strides. Luke steps before me, shielding me with his body from his father. It's like the worst nightmare coming true.

"Luke, stand aside," Vader says, his voice clipped and terse. "I need to talk to your mother alone."

"You're not going to be alone with her, not while you're so angry," Luke replies.

Vader frowns. "This doesn't concern you, boy," he retorts. "Stand aside."  
"It _does_ concern me," Luke counters. "I won't let you bully and hurt my mother any more."

I'm so proud of Luke for standing up to his father this way, but I cannot let him do so alone. This is my battle.

"Luke, it's okay," I tell him, standing aside. "Your father and I do need to talk."

Luke looks at back at me with a frown, but does not leave my side. He looks back at his father, the tension between the two of them palpable.

"What is the meaning of this?" Vader asks, pulling out the package he was served earlier. He throws it to the ground, and looks at me with eyes full of anger. At least they're not yellow. Yet.

"It's rather self-explanatory," I tell him, fighting to remain calm. "I know about the new Death Star," I tell him. "I know about what you're doing to the senate. I can't deal with your constant disregard for my feelings," I continue, somehow finding the courage to speak my mind. "I won't take any more of your… abuse."

Vader's frown deepens. "_Abuse?_ " he cries. "I have _never _abused you!"

"There are many kinds of abuse," I tell him, remembering Sola's words. "Emotional abuse- that's what you're doing to me, Anakin. I can't live with it any more. I can't live with _you_ anymore."

Now his eyes turn yellow.

"This is _bullshit!"_ he shouts. "I _won't _sign the fucking document, do you hear me? I won't do it!"

"Dad, calm down," Luke says, stepping in front of me again. "Stop using that language around my mother."

Vader turns his vengeful glare on Luke, and I grow fearful for my son. "Don't interfere," he snarls. "I warned you to stay out of this!" he adds, shoving Luke aside. Luke tries to stand his ground, but his father is too strong for him and he slams against the terrace ledge.

"Leave him alone!" I cry, going to Luke at once.

"I won't have a boy telling me to calm down," Vader replies angrily. "This is between you and me, Padmé. And I warn you, if you proceed with this….farce, you'll regret it. I will take this to the highest court in the empire and I will win- I _ am _the Empire- what judge do you think would grant you this divorce?"

I'm only half listening to his tirade, for I'm suddenly hit with a sharp pain low in my abdomen. Luke, who has a scrape on the side of his face, senses it at once and looks at me with alarm.

"Mom, what is it?" he asks, taking me by the arms.

I feel another pain, this one worse than the first, and I begin to understand. My baby…

" Luke, take me to the hospital," I tell him. "Quickly!"  
Luke nods, and stands up, helping me stand as well. As I stand I feel another pain, the worst of them all, and double over. Luke picks me up in his arms and starts to run, but his way is blocked by Vader.

"What the devil is going on?" he demands. I'm not certain if there's any consideration for me in his question, or just the fact that his rant has been interrupted.

"Get out of the way!" Luke shouts. "If you care at all about Mom, get out of the way!"

Vader looks at me, confusion replacing the anger in his eyes slowly.

"Padmé?" he asks.

But I say nothing, and bury my face against Luke's shoulder as another pain hits me. I know what is happening- and I pray we can get to the hospital quickly enough to prevent it.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I have no idea what just happened – but clearly my wife is in some sort of distress. I can't believe that our argument would cause her physical harm. And yet …

"Dad? What's happening? What's going on?"

I turn to see Leia standing there, looking as confused as I feel.

"I…I don't know," I tell her. "I was just talking to your mother and Luke, and she collapsed in pain."  
Leia's eyes widen in alarm upon hearing this, and I know that she's very afraid. "Where is she now?" she asks me.

"Luke took her to the hospital," I tell her.

"We need to go too," she says. "Wait for me!""  
Leia runs back inside, perhaps to get dressed, and I'm left alone again. What is going on, Padmé? What aren't you telling me now?

I head back to the dock, where I'm joined in a matter of minutes by my daughter. It's probably the fastest she's ever got dressed in her life.

"Let's go," Leia says as we get into a speeder. "I hope Mom's okay," she adds with a worried frown.

"Why wouldn't she be?" I ask as I lift off.

Leia looks at me, and is about to say something, but doesn't.

"What is everyone hiding from me?" I ask her. "I know there's something."  
Leia looks out the window, and I can sense her ambivalence. "Mom's pregnant," she says finally without looking at me.

My daughter's words could not be more surprising to me. And yet, how could I not have known? How could I not have sensed the tiny life force inside of her? I know the answer to this, but don't want to consider it.

"Why didn't she tell me?" I ask her finally, a renewed sense of urgency filling me.

Leia looks back at me. "I think you can probably figure that out yourself," she replies.

I frown, and say nothing in response. Yes, I can figure it out.

We arrive at the hospital and immediately proceed to the emergency room. I let Leia ask for information, I'm too rattled. She comes back to me momentarily with news.

"Mom's in with the doctor now," she tells me. "Just down the hallway."

"Let's go," I say, and we run down the hall at once.

Luke is standing outside the door to the room where Padmé is, and looks up at me when Leia and I get there. I can see how upset he is, but I can't be concerned with that right now.

"How's your mother?" I ask him.

He looks up at me, his eyes cold. "I don't know yet," he replies.

"I told Dad about the baby," Leia informs her twin.

Luke looks at her briefly and then back at me, a frown on his face. "Like he cares," he says, and then turns away from me.

I want to dispute his words, but decide to let it go. We have bigger issues at hand right now. I sit down on the bench that sits against the wall and try to focus on what's going on inside the room. I use the force and seek out the life force of the tiny child inside my wife's womb. It's not easy to do- the darkness that shrouds the force repels my attempts. I frown, and persist, pushing past the veils of darkness, seeking out my child's presence within the Force with an almost frantic sense of urgency. And finally, I find him.

He's tiny, probably not more than 2 or 3 centimetres, but I can feel his life force. He, or she, for I don't think the gender is even determined yet, is alive- a tiny human life, a miracle. I'm shaken by the powerful emotions that fill me as I connect to this tiny person. But something is wrong- the strength of his life force is ebbing, and I'm sickened as I realize why. He's dying- my actions on the terrace have placed his life in jeopardy. Helpless to help him, powerless to stop what is happening, I can't help but recognize the cruel irony of the situation. I'm stronger with the force than any being has ever been- but what good are those powers now? I've killed my own unborn child- _I've killed my own unborn child. _

The door opens and the doctor emerges, a grave look on his face.

"I'm sorry," he says to Luke, "there was nothing we could do."

Luke nods, and embraces Leia tightly as they both cry. I lower my face into my hands, my emotions, my shame too great to bear.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 47 _ Voice of Leia Skywalker _

Luke and I spend the night with Mom, doing our best to console her. But she's beyond consolation, and I'm worried about her state of mind. I can only imagine how hard it must be to suffer a miscarriage- but it's so much more than the loss of the baby that she's suffering. She's losing so much- the life she'd hoped to have with my father, the marriage she's fought for. I think it's just all too much for her, as it would be for anyone. But Mom is strong- I know she'll bounce back. At least, I hope she will.

Dad left while Luke and I were in with Mom- I don't know where he went. He hasn't come in to see Mom, which seems pretty rotten and even cowardly to me. But in reality, what could he say? He's put Mom through so much that _I'm sorry _seems so lame and useless. It's probably for the best that he's gone- I don't think Mom could handle seeing him right now anyway.

"Is she asleep?" Luke asks as I step into the hallway. Luke has just returned from the lake house where he went to get some clothes for us and Mom, and to contact Aunt Sola.

I nod. "They gave her something to help her," I tell him. "I'm really worried about her, Luke," I tell him.

Luke nods. "I know, me too," he replies. "He hasn't come back, has he?" Luke asks. I know who he means.

"No," I reply. "I haven't seen him since last night."

Luke nods. "I think he was up at the lake house," he tells me. "But I didn't see him."

I nod, not sure what to say. I know that something happened between Luke and Dad last night, but I don't know what it was. Luke hasn't said anything, but I can sense how angry he is with Dad. I'm angry with him too- for I know he was the catalyst somehow that caused Mom's miscarriage. But something happened last night that I don't know about. I will ask Luke once we're through this- right now I know he's not ready to talk about it.

"Were you able to reach Aunt Sola?" I ask Luke as we head down to the refectory.

"Yes," he tells me. "She's on her way."

I'm glad to hear it. I don't quite feel adult enough to handle all this, and I know she will have the right words for Mom. Force knows I don't.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

_Still alive. _ My first reaction upon waking in the morning, after passing a restive night, is a strange one. Perhaps the fact that I've wrestled with the idea of taking my own life for most of the night explains it. Serious thoughts of suicide have dominated my thoughts since I felt the death of my unborn child. Not since Palpatine told me that I'd killed Padmé have I felt such desolation, such utter self loathing. His words, his lies have come back to mind once again, his assurances that the Dark Side has the power to save those that I love from death. I know now that is a lie- in fact, it's probably the opposite. It was the Dark Side that prevented me from reaching the baby in the first place. What if I'd reached him sooner? Could I have saved him? Padmé's miscarriage was caused by me, by my anger- anger that stemmed from the Dark Side. So, once again, I have lost her because of it. The realization of this makes me feel ill, and full of despair. I don't know what to do, where to go.

My son has come and gone, ignoring my presence completely. I'm not surprised by this, but I am by how much it hurts. I remember when I first found Luke, how happy he was to have been reunited with his father, how much he was looking forward to building a relationship with me. And yet, it seems now that I've destroyed that relationship. I have nothing now, nothing worth having. An Empire, which only days ago seemed to be the center of my existence, is now an empty void, meaningless and cold. I want nothing to do with it- nothing to do with anything created by the same darkness that has killed my child.

As I go through the motions of showering and getting dressed, I make a decision. There is nothing that I can do to make up to Padmé what I've done- not this time. I know that I've lost her forever now. So I will give her what she wants- I will sign the divorce papers and set her free. And perhaps she will be able to find some happiness with Luke and Leia, without me in her life. The thought of living without my family only adds to my despair, but it's fitting that I suffer this punishment.

I return to the hospital, the divorce papers inside my cloak. I stop at the nurses' station and ask for directions and then head to the room where my wife is resting. I expect that my children will be less than happy to see me return, but I must do this. But it isn't Luke and Leia that I see outside of the room where Padmé is, but rather her sister, Sola. When she turns and looks at me, I know at once that she is fully aware of my part in this tragedy.

"You have a lot of nerve coming here," Sola says, her acrimony clear in her eyes and her tone of voice.

"I'm not going to argue with you, Sola," I reply. "I just wanted to see Padmé."

Sola's eyebrows lift in surprise. "Like hell!" she retorts. "You are the _last _thing she needs right now. You've done enough, Vader, so just go back to your beloved empire and leave my sister alone."

I nod, fighting the anger, the darkness still very much a part of me.

"Then perhaps you could give her this," I say, deciding to let it go. I pull the papers out of my cloak. "It's what she wants," I add, handing the papers to my sister-in-law.

"What is this?" she asks, taking them.

"The divorce papers she wanted me to sign," I tell her. "I signed them. I won't bother her anymore."

Sola looks at the papers and then up at me, her hatred for me clear in her eyes. "You might have done this last night," she says. "Perhaps my nephew or niece would still be alive."

Her words sting – but she's right. If only I'd given Padmé what she asked for, if only the darkness inside of me had allowed me to see how much she was hurting because of me. But I couldn't, and now it's too late.

"Tell Luke and Leia that I love them," I ask Sola. "And my wife…Padmé," I add, realizing that very soon she will no longer be my wife.

She nods, but I have my doubts that my message will be delivered. But it can't be helped- I need to disappear for a while, I need to go somewhere to learn how to live with myself and what I've done. Where that is, I don't know. I just know that I have to get away, disappear. It for the best.

I leave Sola, a lump rising in my throat as I do so. _Goodbye my angels…I will always love you. _

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I wake up in a dimly lit room, disoriented for a moment. The sedatives have made me groggy, and it's frustrating to feel this way.

"Padmé?"

I look over when I hear my sister's voice and see Sola sitting on a chair beside my bed. She stands up and comes over to me.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, picking up my hand.

"Tired," I tell her.

Sola nods. "I'm so sorry," she says, taking my hand in both of hers.

I avert my eyes, unable to think about the loss of my baby without breaking down. I know it's not uncommon for women to have miscarriages; but the circumstances surrounding mine were so ugly, so vile…I'm not sure how I will ever get past this.

"Where are the twins?" I ask her, staring at a mass produced print on the far wall.

"Getting something to eat," Sola tells me. "They've been here constantly," she adds.

"I know," I reply. "They've been wonderful." I turn and look at my sister, wanting to ask about Vader, but not wanting to as well. "Vader?" I ask simply. A hardened look enters my sister's eyes at the sound of his name.

"He was here earlier," she tells me. "I didn't think you'd want to see him. He has no right to see you."

I feel the tears threatening, and look away again. "Did he say anything?" I ask her quietly.

Sola hesitates for a moment, perhaps debating whether or not to tell me the truth.

"He wanted you to have this," she tells me finally. She hands me a package of papers which I recognize as the divorce package Vader threw at me last night.

I don't want to see them, and hand them back to her. This, after all, was the catalyst, the reason my child's life was lost.

"He signed them, Padmé," Sola tells me, pushing them back to me. "He's not going to contest the divorce."

I look up at her disbelievingly. "What?" I ask her. "_Now_ he signs them? _Now? _ After my baby is gone?"

Sola's eyes fill with tears as she nods. "I'm so sorry," she whispers and puts her arms around me. I welcome her embrace, too tired and defeated to try to be strong any longer.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

I return to the capital, needing to put distance between myself and the tragedy that I've authored. Perhaps this makes me a coward- I'm not sure. All I know is I'm lost, more lost than I've ever felt, more lost even then that day so long ago when I wrestled with the decision to side with Palpatine against the Jedi. Who do I turn to now? Is there anyone left in this galaxy that I haven't alienated? Anyone whose heart I haven't broken? I know that alone I will either end my life or go mad with the memories of what has happened. I _felt _my child die- how will I ever get past that? I can travel to the ends of the universe, but I will never escape.

"Your majesty," my assistant bows in greeting. "I didn't expect to see you return so soon…"

"I have work for you to do," I interrupt him. "Come with me."

I walk into my office, suddenly hating the sight of it. I know what I must do, for I don't want the galaxy that my family lives in to descend into chaos. And yet, I cannot do this any more. I'm an emotional wreck right now, a man without a future and a past too ugly to speak of.

"How may I serve you, Sire?" my assistant asks, standing in front of my desk, no doubt confused by my mood. I say nothing but continue to scribble furiously on the datapad I've pulled from my desk. He remains silent, waiting for me to speak, knowing me well enough by now not to ask again.

"I want these changes brought into effect immediately," I tell him, handing him the datapad at once.

He takes the device and scans over my hastily written script, his eyes widening in shock as he does so.

"You…you're _relinquishing _control of the Empire?" he asks incredulously.

"I'm giving it to my wife…to the Empress," I tell him. "I am taking a leave of absence," I add. "The Empress is now in charge. I want her given control of the army, the fleet- everything. You will put yourself at her disposal as soon as she returns to the capital. She is your immediate superior now, not me."

I stand up with him watching me, still too shocked to say anything more.

"Sire, where will you be?" he asks me as I make for the door. "When will you return?"

I stop, not knowing how to answer either question. I turn to him finally. "I don't know," I tell him. And then I turn back and walk out the door, emperor no more.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Mom is released from the hospital after what seems a pretty short time. We return to the lake house along with Aunt Sola, but I know Mom isn't happy here. My father has managed to destroy this place for her, and all the memories they'd shared here have now been replaced with memories of that terrible night that changed everything. I know I will never forget it.

"Mom, why don't we just go home?" Leia suggests over dinner. "We both know how unhappy you are here right now. Let's go back to the capital."

Mom frowns. "I don't want to see him," she says quietly.

Leia and I look at each other, knowing who she's talking about – Dad.

"If he's agreed to the divorce then he's probably going to leave you alone," Aunt Sola point out.

"Probably?" she asks. She pushes her food around on her plate for a few moments as we sit in awkward silence.

"You're going to have to move on with your life, Padmé," my aunt tells her. "And not let Vader dictate where you go or what you do. The capital is a big place- I'm sure you can both live there without conflict."

Mom nods, the sadness that never seems to leave her filling her eyes. "I suppose so," she replies. "You'll have to excuse me," she says, looking up at us. "I'm…not myself right now. I'll be fine, and our lives _will _go on. I promise you."

Leia smiles. "We know that, Mom," she says. "You're the strongest person I know. And you know that Luke and I are behind you all the way."

"I know," Mom replies with a little smile. "It will just take some time for me to become myself again. I'm sorry," she says, and stands up. She leaves the room, which doesn't really surprise any of us.

"I'm worried about her," Aunt Sola says.

"We all are," I tell her. "But Leia's right- Mom's strong. Look at all the adversity she's had in her life," I point out. "She's bounced back before, and I know she will again."

Leia nods, and the three of us finish our meal in silence.

Chapter 48 – _Voice of Darth Vader _

Tatooine- somehow this is where I am drawn to. I don't know why- this planet holds nothing but painful memories for me. But somehow I've ended up here, as though drawn by something bigger than myself. I think perhaps the Force itself has lead me here- and the Force never does anything without a reason. My former master is here- the man I once thought of as a brother. But what happened to that friendship? Was it his betrayal or my own madness that destroyed it? Perhaps it was neither. Perhaps it was _infected_, just as my relationship with my wife had been. Palpatine was the disease, the infection in both cases. Palpatine and the Dark Side.

I've done a lot of reflecting over the past few days; being alone in the universe affords you that luxury. And I've come to an undeniable conclusion: with the exception of my mother's death, the dark side has been the cause of every tragedy in my life. It was the Dark Side that caused me to assault my wife on Mustafar. It was the Dark Side that caused me to hurt her again and again even after she'd forgiven me for what I did to her there. And finally, it was the Dark Side that caused the death of my third child. I feel sickened by this realization, sickened by the darkness that I still feel as very much a part of me. A strong contradiction is growing in me, a revulsion of what I am, and a desperation to change it. But how? The words of Master Yoda keep haunting me: _ once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny. _ If this is true, then there is truly no hope for me. The darkness has consumed me, and has destroyed everything I love. Do I have the strength to purge it from my soul after all this time?

I land my craft on the property of Owen Lars, memories of my mother's death assaulting me as I do so. I have not set foot on Tatooine since that terrible day- and vowed that I never would. But here I am – guided by the Force back to the place I once called home. I make my way down to the homestead, knowing that at midday I will find them inside.

"Hello Beru, Owen," I say as I find them eating their midday meal.

They both look up at me with wide eyes, their shock upon seeing me clear.

"Vader!" Owen spits, standing up. "What the _hell _are you doing in my home?"

I can feel his hatred, no doubt Kenobi filled him in with all the grisly details of my atrocities on Mustafar.

"I'm not here to fight," I tell him. "I only want information."

"Go to hell," Owen snarls.

I turn to Beru, who has said nothing at all. "I want to thank you Beru," I say, trying to appeal to her sense of compassion.

She frowns, surprised. "What for?" she asks.

"For the excellent job you did raising Luke," I tell her. "He's a fine young man, largely thanks to you."

She can't help but smile, and I can sense that she's surprised by my praise.

"What do you want, Vader?" Owen asks, not buying what I'm trying to sell.

"I'm hoping you can tell me where I can find Obi-Wan Kenobi," I tell them. "I would very much like to talk to him."

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

We return to the capital with the hopes that Mom's spirits will soon pick up. I don't know what will happen should Dad be at home when we get there- but since he signed the divorce papers, I suppose he will move out. Or we will. I hate this- Luke and I have spent most of our lives apart and without our real parents, and yet, in less than a year, they've broken up. I know my mother has tried her best to live with my father- but I don't think anyone could. He's changed since we first came to live with him, and his arrogance is really hard to stomach. I love my father, and I know Mom does too- but I don't know who could deal with him the way he is now. As for Luke, I'm worried about him. He still has not told me about what happened, but I can sense how disillusioned he is with Dad. I am too, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I really thought that things would work out between he and Mom, that the tremendous love they have for one another would be enough to see them through anything. But the Dark Side, it seems, is insurmountable.

"Come on Mom," I tell my mother as we arrive in the great hall of our home. "I'll make you a cup of tea. Why don't you go have a nice bubble bath?"

Mom smiles. "That sounds wonderful," she says. "Thank you."

Luke and I watch her ascend the stairs, both of us worried about her.

"I wish I knew what to say to her," I confide in my brother.

Luke nods. "I know what you mean," he says. "I'm just grateful that he isn't here," he says with a frown.

"I wonder where he is," I say.

Luke shrugs. "I don't know, and I don't care," he replies. I know he cares, but he's hurting right now.

"Excuse me, Master Luke," Threepio says as he toddles up to us. "But Grayson Ryshen has been trying to get into contact with the Empress for days," he says.

"Who's…Grayson Ryshen?" Luke asks.

"He's Dad's personal assistant," I inform him. "Did he say what he wants? And why does he want to talk to Mom and not Dad?"  
"I don't know, your highness," Threepio replies. "He wouldn't tell me much, I'm afraid."

Luke and I exchange a look. "Maybe we should talk to him before we let him talk to Mom," he suggests.

I nod in agreement. "Good idea," I say. I turn to Threepio. "Contact this man and tell him to come here to talk to us," I tell him. "And tell him to get here quickly."

"Right away, your highness," the droid replies and hurries away.

"What do you think he wants?" I ask Luke.

"We'll find out soon enough," he replies.

_Voice of Darth Vader _

Owen Lars directs me to the home of my former master and friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi. It seemed to me that he was only too happy to do so, no doubt believing that I've come to Tatooine to exact revenge upon my one time friend. I suppose given the history between Kenobi and I, the assumption isn't too surprising. However, it isn't revenge I seek from my former master: it's guidance.

I travel across the Jundland Wastes, memories from my childhood flashing through my mind. I remember racing in these wastelands, one of the only sources of joy I had on this miserable rock. My mother was the other, and the greatest source of happiness I had during my childhood. Memories of her death also assault my mind as I race over the sand dunes, and I know that it was that day that began my journey to the Dark Side. It seems only fitting that I come here to end that journey, or end my life in the attempt to do so.

As I approach a small adobe hut, I become aware of the presence of my old master. No doubt he has sensed me approaching and is waiting for me. The last time I saw Obi-Wan I told him that I hated him, for indeed I did. He had mutilated me and left me to die, after turning my wife against me. At least, that's what I believed at the time. Now I know better. Now I know that Palpatine was the cancer, not Obi-Wan, not my wife.

A figure has appeared at the doorway of the hut, and, as I slow my craft, I notice that Kenobi has aged considerably since I last saw him. Seventeen years is a long time, but perhaps the harshness of Tatooine has added years to his face. Perhaps living in isolation has done so too. I don't sense animosity from him, only…curiosity.

I get out of the vehicle and approach Obi-Wan, who watches me guardedly. His once ginger beard is now almost completely grey, his hair streaked with it.

"I was wondering when I'd see you again, Anakin," Obi-Wan says without preamble. "And …here you are."

I nod, not knowing what words I can possibly say right now. This man was once like my brother, but now...

He watches me as I struggle with words, with emotions and memories too horrible to speak of. I know he's as uncomfortable with this reunion as I am, and for a few moments we simply look at each other in silence.

"Tell me Anakin," he says finally, folding his arms over his tattered cloak. "Have you come to kill me?"

I shake my head. "No," I say at last. "Not to kill you. I…I need you, Obi-Wan," I add, the emotions I've bottled up inside of me for days now bubbling dangerously close to the surface. "I don't know where else to go, who else to turn to."

He frowns, perhaps not understanding me. "Why do you need _me?_" he asks. "You're the supreme leader of the galaxy. What could you possibly need from an old man like me?"

I shake my head again. "I've abdicated," I tell him. "I don't want to be supreme ruler of the galaxy any more."

I sense his surprise. "Why not?" he asks. "There was nothing you wanted more the last time we saw one another."

"I know," I reply, looking down to the sand beneath my boots. "But…everything has changed, Obi-Wan," I tell him. "I'm…lost," I tell him, my voice losing strength. "I've never been so lost," I add. I look up at him. "Help me, Obi-Wan," I beseech him. "You're my only hope."

He nods, his eyes softening, his own emotions close to the surface. "I will help you," he says, holding his hand out to me. "Welcome home, Anakin."

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Grayson Ryshen, my father's personal assistant, arrives within the hour. He's just as I imagined he'd be- a total butt kisser.

"Is the empress available?" he asks as we sit down in the office. Leia and I look at each other briefly.

"No," I tell him finally. "She's been ill, and is indisposed," I tell him. "You'll tell us what you want to tell her," I say, using the Force to influence him.

He nods. "Very well," he replies. "Earlier today the emperor gave me this," he says, handing Leia a datapad. "It's his abdication."

"Did you say _abdication?"_ I reply, shocked by the very word. "You must have misunderstood him! My father would _never _give up his power."

"He did," Leia says, scanning over the datapad. "He's taking an extended leave of absence," she adds, handing me the pad once she's finished. "And he's leaving Mom in charge. Permanently."

I take the device from my sister and read the contents quickly. I can hardly believe my eyes, but I know my father's writing well- he _has _abdicated.

"Where is he now?" I ask Grayson, looking up at him.

"I don't know, your highness," he replies. " He simply told me he was leaving, he himself didn't know where he was going or for how long."

Leia frowns. " You mean, he just _took off?"_

"It would seem so, your highness," the man replies.

Leia looks back at me. "He left without saying goodbye?" she asks with a frown. "Without even telling us he was going or where?"  
I nod, my own emotions as confused as my sister's.

"Will you please convey this message to the empress?" Grayson says. "I have a great deal of work to attend to."  
"Of course," Leia replies. "We'll tell her at once."

He nods and stands up. "I do hope she's feeling better soon," he replies, clasping his hands nervously. "She's in charge now, and I will need orders from her on how to proceed now that the emperor is gone."

"Yes, of course you will," I mutter, thinking fast. "I think I can speak for my mother in this case," I add. "I'm sure she would want the orders to destroy the Senate building revoked," I tell him.

He nods, and I sense his relief. "I will do so at once," he replies. "And now if you'll excuse me," he adds, bowing to us and then leaving.

"How is Mom going to react to all this?" Leia asks me once he's gone.

I shake my head. "I have no idea," I reply. "But there's one way to find out," I add.

Leia nods. "She's having a cup of tea in her room," she replies.

"No sense putting this off," I tell her, standing up. "Let's go."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

The warm bath helped me to relax, and a cup of tea always hits the spot. I'm trying hard not to think about all of the nights I spent in this room with my husband. It's simply too difficult to think about him now. No one knows this, but I have not yet filed the divorce papers that he finally signed. I'm not quite sure why- perhaps the finality of is just to painful for me to consider right now. I will file them, once I'm feeling better, once I'm better able to deal with the thought of living without the love of my life. Feeling my emotions starting to reach a critical level once more, I push the thoughts of him from my mind. I set my cup down on the small table beside my bed, and stand up to remove my robe. Before I get a chance to do so, I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in," I call, sitting back down on my bed. Luke and Leia walk in, each of them looking stressed and upset. What now?

"What's wrong?" I ask them at once.

"Mom, we just talked to Dad's assistant," Leia tells me.

"Yes…and?" I ask, looking from one twin to the other. "What's wrong?"

"Dad has abdicated," Luke tells me. "He's taken off somewhere," he adds.

I stare at my son in disbelief. Surely they've misunderstood.

"Children, tell me exactly what the man told you," I ask them.

The children look at each other in exasperation, no doubt bridling under the designation.

"Mom, look for yourself," Leia says, handing her the datapad Grayson left with us. "Dad's gone, Mom," she adds. "He's left you in charge."

I take the datapad and read it over quickly. I recognize my husband's distinctive script, but the words I read shock me so much I have to sit down again. I look up at the twins who are standing before me, waiting for my reaction.

"I…I can't believe this," I say finally, unable to find any more appropriate words. "Where did he go?"  
"Grayson didn't know," Luke tells me. "According to him, Dad didn't even know where he was going."  
"Or when he was coming back," Leia adds.

I shake my head, my sense of astonishment growing by the minute. He's gone- and he didn't tell anyone where he's going, not even his children.

"Why?" I ask at last, starting to grow angry. "Why would he do that? Why would he leave without even saying goodbye to you?" _Or to me…_

"I don't know," Leia replies. "We're as shocked as you are, Mom."  
Clearly there is a great deal going on with him – but is he really so cowardly that he lacks the courage to face his family?

"Mom, what are you going to do?" Luke asks me, shaking me from my musings. "You're the ruler of the galaxy now," he reminds me. This seems secondary now somehow, but I can't shirk from my duties, as unwanted as they are.

"I'm going to rule," I tell them. Perhaps this is just what I need to get my mind off of the events of recent days. "The Empire's days are numbered, I promise you," I add, starting to relish the idea of pulling apart the abomination that Palpatine created.

Luke and Leia merely smile in response.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 49 _Voice of Padmé Amidala_

With butterflies in my stomach, I head to the senate building. I have contacted Bail Organa and asked him to meet me here. I will need his guidance and help to take advantage of my new position. I know that my plans for the galaxy will not happen over night; it took Palpatine sixteen years to make this mess. But I am determined, and now that I have been given control, I can affect changes quickly. I have to wonder, though- surely Vader knew that I would do just this when he left me in control. Doesn't he care anymore about the Empire? Or is this some sort of gesture of remorse on his part? I have a hard time believing the latter; the man who shoved aside his own son so brutally doesn't seem capable of remorse any more.

"Good morning your Majesty," grovels my new assistant. "It is wonderful to see you! I trust you're feeling better."

"Yes, thank you," I reply. "I'm expecting Viceroy Organa," I tell him. "Please show him in as soon as he arrives."

"Yes, majesty," he replies with a bow.

I head into the office that had once been Palpatine's, remembering occasions when I'd stood in here, believing him to be on my side. What a fool I was! Vader had the place redecorated, which seemed rather a waste of time and money to me considering he planned to have the entire building torn down. Yet another example of how massive his ego has become I suppose. I push these thoughts aside and sit down at the enormous desk. Vader's things are still here- I see holos of both our children and myself on top of the desk. I'm surprised to see them, actually. I refocus myself and activate the desktop computer. The task before me is huge, daunting- I know without Bail I would be overwhelmed by its enormity.

The door opens, and I look up to see Bail enter the room. He gives me a smile as he walks over to me.

"It's good to see you," he says, embracing me warmly.

"Thank you," I reply. "And thank you for coming."

"You have me intrigued," he says, releasing me and sitting down in one of the large chairs that face the desk. "Your message was nothing if not cryptic."  
I nod. I didn't tell him about Vader's abdication, or the fact that I'm in charge.

"I'm sorry about that," I tell him. "You can't be too careful these days," I add.

He frowns. "Your husband is the emperor," he replies, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "What could you possibly be afraid of?"

I sigh, hating to rehash the whole story. But he needs to know what has happened, for it explains the situation he's soon to become a part of now.

"And speaking of Vader," he continues. "Where is he? Why are we meeting in his office and not in your home?"

"It's a long story, Bail," I begin. "A long and very sad story."

I proceed to tell him all about what happened, including the miscarriage, the divorce, and Vader's subsequent abdication. Bail listens in shocked silence as I relate the events of my life over the past few weeks. When I conclude, he shakes his head in what I can only imagine is shock and disbelief.

"I'm …so sorry, Padmé," he says, reaching over and taking one of my hands. "I know how much you loved him."

I nod, willing myself not to get emotional. "I still love him," I tell him. "But after what happened….I just can't be with him."  
"Of course not," he agrees. "What he did to you was monstrous," he adds. "He doesn't deserve to be forgiven by you, not again, not this time."

I nod, not really wanting to get into a discussion on this very sensitive issue. "As you can see, I'm in a rather unique position now," I tell him.

"Yes, very much so," he agrees. "You are at the steering wheel, Padmé, so to speak."

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," I reply. "But I can't do it alone, Bail," I add. "That's why I asked you to come here today," I continue. "I need you to help me. I need your guidance, your advice."

He nods. "Of course I'll help you, Padmé," he replies. "Only…what is it exactly you want me to help you with?"

"I want you to help me start the process of dismantling the Empire," I tell him. "My goal is to restore Democracy, starting with the restoration of the Senate."

He smiles. "In that case, it would be my distinct pleasure to help you, your majesty."

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

Six months have past since the disappearance of my father. Six months, and not a word from him. I know he's alive- I'd have felt it if he weren't. He's out there, somewhere, in the vastness of space. I miss him, and I know Mom does too, even if she won't admit it. As for Luke, even I don't know how he feels. Ever since we were reunited I've always been able to sense his emotions, read his thoughts even; but ever since the night Mom had her miscarriage he's been very guarded with his feelings. I still have trouble believing what Dad did on that night, how he acted so viciously towards Luke who was just trying to defend Mom. Luke has always been so protective of Dad, especially when he was still living in the breath suit. It was him that pulled this family together, after all. I know how disappointed he is that it's fallen apart- I feel the very same way.

It's almost time to go home. I've been working in Mom's office recently, helping her with the enormous task she's undertaken. Along with my adoptive father, the Viceroy of Alderaan, she's been reshaping the galaxy. I'm amazed at how much they've accomplished in just six short months. I suppose being highly motivated to put an end to the Empire is partly the reason for this. Using the clone army to help expedite change, Mom and the Viceroy have been purging the galaxy of any and all beings that held any sort of allegiance to the late emperor. The Senate is now in control again, the governor system my father had initiated scrapped. They still have a long way to go, but knowing how tenacious and driven they both are, it's not going to take more than a few years for the changeover to be complete.

"Leia?"

I look up, startled to hear someone in my small office. I nearly fall out of my chair when I see that it's Han Solo.

"Han!" I cry, not even trying to hide how happy I am to see him. I jump out of my chair and run over to him, giving him a big hug. "It's so good to see you!"

"Yeah, same here your highness," he replies. I can sense he's a little uncomfortable with my gesture, and release him at once.

"What are you doing here on Coruscant?" I ask him. Oh yes, that's another change Mom has made. Imperial Centre is no more- it's Coruscant again now.

"Looking for a job," he replies with that lop-sided grin I love so well. "I'm sure you're aware of the cutbacks that have been happening."

I nod. Cutbacks – that's an understatement. Mom's been scaling back the military almost daily.

"Is Mom expecting you?" I ask him.

Han nods. "She contacted me, actually," he tells me.

"Cool," I reply, wondering why my mother didn't tell me about this little arrangement. Surely she remembers how I feel about Han. "I'll let her know that you're here," I say, and leave him to go into my mother's office.

The Viceroy is with her, as usual, when I enter the office. I would be blind not to notice how he feels about my mother. He's been very lonely since my adoptive mother died, and I know how attracted he is to my real mother. I'm sure if she gave him the smallest amount of encouragement he would ask her to marry him; but that's not going to happen. Despite the fact that my mother has not heard from my father in six months, despite the horrible way their marriage ended, I know she still loves him. It would undoubtedly be easier for her if she _didn't _love him - but somehow I don't see that happening in the near future, if ever. I think part of the reason she's working so hard these days is to forget about the hole in her heart that his absence has created. I feel kind of sorry for the Viceroy- he doesn't stand a chance.

"Mom, why didn't you tell me that you'd invited Han Solo here for an interview?" I ask her.

Mom smiles. "Because I knew you'd be going crazy with anticipation," she teases as she stands up. "Is he here?"  
"Yes, he's outside," I tell her. "What is he here for? What job?"  
"Well, we thought it was time to change the look of the navy," Mom tells me. "We're working towards a Republic, after all. It's time to change the image of the navy. Han is going to help us do that. He's an expert in ship designs, after all."

I nod, knowing what's not being said, knowing that my mother realizes that the true expert is my father. But he's not here, and no one knows when or if he's coming back. Mom knows this, and is moving forward with her plans without him. At least, professionally.

"That's awesome!" I say, thrilled at the thought that Han Solo may very well be a part of my life again very soon. "Should I let him in?"

"Please do," the Viceroy asks. I leave them at once to do so, trying really hard not to let my excitement show.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

It feels good to work out, good to hone my skills this way. I'm exhausted, but it's easier to sleep at night when I am. It's easier to not think too much before I fall asleep.

I remember back almost a year to the day I first met my father. I was so excited, so …naïve. I really thought there was good in him; enough good to bring him back to the good side. It really hurts to realise that I was dead wrong.

The droid counters with a quick thrust, but I'm ready for it. Using a move my father showed me, I slash the droid's weapon away easily, finishing the level. It's the highest I've reached, and I'm pleased with the progress I've made in the past six months. Only….what is the point of learning the skills of a Jedi when the Order is extinct? I wish there was a way to resurrect it, to create a new order of Jedi. But how can I do that? I'm not even a Jedi myself yet- not even close. And Leia's more interested in politics than becoming a Jedi. I'm alone now, and one Jedi Padawan isn't an order.

I deactivate the program and then my lightsaber, and replace it on my belt. I run my hand through my sweaty hair, deciding that I definitely need a shower before I go to bed. Mom and Leia are upstairs. Leia's out of control right now- ever since Mom hired Han Solo she's been acting more foolish than usual. When will she get it through her head that he's not interested in her? I wish she'd just get over this silly crush she has on him .

I head upstairs, and hear my mother calling my name. I follow the sound of her voice to the office where she's sitting at the desk. It seems she's always working these days. I guess that's her way of coping.

"Hi," I say. "I was just on my way up to have a shower," I tell her. "I kinda stink."

Mom smiles. "Working out?" she asks.

I nod.

"Can you spare me a few minutes before you do?" she asks.

"Of course," I say, sitting down at once. "What's up?"

Mom studies me for a moment in the way I know means she's worried about me. "I'm just wondering how you are," she says. "We don't get to talk as often as I'd like."

"Well, ruling the galaxy is a pretty big job," I reply.

"Yes," she agrees. "But not a more important job than being a mother," she adds. She studies me a little longer. "I'm worried about you, Luke," she tells me. "I know you've been having bad dreams again."

I lower my eyes to the desk between us. It was always so messy when it was Dad's- now it's meticulous.

"How did you know that?" I ask her, not trying to deny it. I've been plagued with nightmares for months now.

"I heard you," Mom tells me. "It was about Naboo again, wasn't it?"

I nod without looking up at her.

"Luke, I want you to talk to someone about this," she tells me. I look up at once.

"I'm not going to a ..._counsellor_," I say, the word leaving a bad taste in my mouth. "I'm not nuts."

"I didn't say you were," Mom replies calmly. "But clearly you have some issues that you need to work out. You need to talk them out."

"Talking them out won't change what happened, Mom," I tell her. A look of sadness fills her eyes, and I regret my comment. "I know you mean well," I add, reaching over and taking one of her small hands. "And I love you for it. But this is just something I need to work out on my own, Mom. Don't worry, I will. I just need… time."

She nods, and I know she's close to tears. She's still hurting too- more than me I'm sure; and yet she's worried about me. My mother is truly the most amazing person I know, and it angers me so much to think that anyone could hurt her. Especially _him. _

"Okay," she says at last, her voice barely audible. "Please promise that you'll talk to me when you decide you want to talk," she asks.

I nod. "Who else would I talk to, Mom?" I ask. "I love you more than anyone in the galaxy."

She smiles, and the tears come at last. I stand up and walk around the desk as she stands up. I hug her tightly, the love I feel for her bringing tears to my own eyes. I kiss the top of her head.

"I love you too, Luke," she tells me.

I hold her for a few minutes longer, and then let her go.

"Goodnight Mom," I tell her.

"Goodnight Luke," she replies, touching my face lightly. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

_If only that were possible, _I reflect as I take my leave of her. _If only that were possible. _

Chapter 50 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"It's so good to see you!" my sister says as she embraces me.

I smile and return her hug. "It's good to see you too," I tell her. "Thank you for coming."

Sola pulls back. "How could I not?" she asks. "It's not every day my niece and nephew turn eighteen."

"No, it certainly isn't," I reply. I can hardly believe it myself. How is it they are already on the verge of becoming legally adult? The passage of the sixteen years I lived without them seems so unkind as I consider this. And yet, I suppose I should be grateful to be with them now. And since I am, I have vowed to make every birthday I share with them special.

"You must be planning something really big if you are already starting the preparation," Sola says as Threepio brings a tray of tea into the sitting room. "Their birthday isn't for another three months, is it?"

"No," I reply. "But there's a lot to be done, and I really didn't think I should ask Leia to help. I know she'd be only too happy to put her own stamp on this," I add with a smile.

Sola laughs. "What eighteen year old girl wouldn't?" she asks. "How are the twins? I haven't seen them in months."

"They're good," I tell her automatically, not wanting to tell her about how worried I've been about Luke. "Busy of course," I add. "School, plus Leia's been helping me out a lot."  
"She's inherited your political acumen," Sola comments.

"I think so, yes," I agree.

"And Luke? What about him?" she asks.

"He's been honing his lightsaber skills," I tell her. "Working with Han Solo a lot," I add. "He enjoys it."  
Sola nods. "And no word from Vader? Nothing at all?" she asks. "Still?"

"No," I reply. "Nothing."  
Sola frowns. "It's been nine months since he left!" she declares, as though I need to be reminded. "He hasn't contacted his children in nine months?"  
"No, he hasn't," I reply.

Sola shakes her head, not saying any more on the subject, for which I'm grateful.

"So tell me," she asks after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. "What can I do to help you plan this big bash?"

I smile. "I have a list," I tell her.

Sola laughs. "Now, why doesn't that surprise me?" she counters.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

"I don't think that's gonna work, kid," Han tells me, looking doubtfully at my plans. "It's too small."

"So what?" I ask. "Mom says she wants to change the image of the navy- big is out, Han. Besides, think of how fast this baby will go?"

Han nods, and considers my drawing a little longer. "Yeah, well…maybe," he concedes. He sits back in his high-backed chair. "I don't know about you but I'm starved," he says.

I grin. Over the past few months Han and I have been working together a lot on this new project my mother initiated. I love working with designs and mechanics- and apparently so does Han.

"Han, I'm _always _ready for food," I tell him. "Come on, let's go see what's in the fridge."

"Sounds good to me, kid," he replies.

We've been working out of my home; my mom had half of one of the floors converted into offices and work space. I'd much rather work here than at the Senate offices. It's so…formal there, so stuffy. I know my mother is the co-chancellor, but I just don't feel comfortable around all those politicians. Leia, however, is in her element there, and has really taken to the life of a politician. She still keeps up her Jedi skills, as much as it's possible for either of us to do so. Since our father left, we've sort of been at a loss to know how to proceed with our training. How can we even consider it training when there's no one to train us? It seems my dream of becoming a Jedi is not going to happen.

"What's up, Goldenrod?" Han asks Threepio as we encounter him in the kitchen. I get a kick out of the way Han gets on his case. Threepio is never quite sure how to interpret Han's comments, which only makes it funnier.

"Up, sir?" Threepio replies. "Well, er, I'm not quite sure, sir," he replies, at a loss again.

Han grins and gives me a wink as he opens the fridge. He's quite at home here by now, and usually spends the night in the guest room that has become his second home. I don't blame him – I've seen the dump he rents in the city.

"Where did you get that droid, Luke?" Han asks me as we sit down at the kitchen table to eat. "I've never seen a droid with so much…personality."

"Yeah, he's got plenty of that," I remark. "Threepio's been in my family a long time," I tell him. "My father built him when he was a kid."

"No kidding," Han replies. "That doesn't surprise me, actually," he adds. "I've never seen anybody with more technical skill than your father."

I nod, knowing that what he's saying is absolutely true. My father is unparalleled in his technical and mechanical skill.

"Luke, where is he? Your father?" Han asks. I know he's wondered, but until now has never asked.

I shrug, doing my best to remain nonchalant. "We don't know where he is," I tell him. "We have no clue."

Han frowns. "Really?" he asks. "You mean he hasn't told you?"

I shake my head.

"Did you ask him?" he persists.

"How can we?" I ask. "He hasn't contacted us," I explain. "Not once. It's like he's dropped out of existence."

I can sense how shocked Han is, but he says nothing. I guess he knows how much I hate talking about this.

"You know, my own old man skipped out on me too, kid," he tells me.

I look up at him, surprised. He has never volunteered any information about his family. "Really?"

I nod. "Yeah," he replies. "It really messed me up for a while," he tells me. "Until eventually I took off," he confides in me. "I was younger than you are," he adds.

"Whoa," I say softly.

Han nods. "I managed to take care of myself pretty good," he tells me, "but I never forgot, never forgave him for it."

I frown, his words bothering me. "You've never seen him since?" I ask.

"Nope," he replies. "Don't want to, either," he adds. "I'm better off without him, kid. And maybe you are too," he ventures.

I think so too.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

Luke is never late for dinner; in fact, he's usually the first one to the table. I guess he and Han are so engrossed in their new project that they're not even aware of the time any more. So, once again, it's me, Mom and the Viceroy sitting around the dinner table. As much as I love my adoptive father, I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable around him and my mother lately. They've always been good friends, but since the beginning of this new republic that they are building, they have been working together almost non-stop. It's been good for my mother; she needed something to keep her busy and keep her mind off of Dad. As for the Viceroy – he's so smitten with my mother that I don't even know if he's aware of how obvious he is. Granted, my mother is a stunningly beautiful woman- I can see how any man would be attracted to her. But what the Viceroy doesn't get is that my mother's heart will always belong to my father- no matter what. He's deluding himself to think he could ever change that.

"So a big birthday coming up," the Viceroy says looking at me with a smile. "Hard to believe you'll be eighteen in a few weeks."

I smile. "I know," I reply. "I can't wait."

"Where's your brother?" Mom asks me. "It's not like him to miss a meal."

"Somewhere with Han I think," I reply. "They must have eaten already- I can't imagine Luke missing dinner."

Mom smiles. "I'm so grateful that Han has become close to Luke," she says. "He really is a great friend to Luke, at a time when he needs one."

The Viceroy lifts his eyebrows but says nothing. I know his opinion of my father. I just hope he's smart enough to keep it to himself.

"Will your father be coming to this party?" he asks. Stupid stupid stupid!

"I doubt it," Mom replies, her tension level rising.

"Well I suppose after the last birthday party he ruined it's best that he doesn't show up," he comments.

I look up at him, and then at Mom. She doesn't need this- but I'm far too polite to point that out to the Viceroy.

"I'd rather not dwell on the past," Mom says quietly.

"No, of course not," the Viceroy says quickly. "I didn't mean to…" he stops, his face flushing with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Padmé," he says, putting his hand on hers. "It was unthinking of me to mention it."

Mom nods, but her tension doesn't lessen. She looks up at me and I can see in her eyes that she's struggling. "Leia, would you ask Threepio to clear the table please?" she asks. This is her subtle way of ending the meal, and, hopefully, giving the Viceroy the hint to go home.

"Sure," I say, and stand up to go and find Threepio. I have to wonder if my one time father is about to get an earful from my mother. I'm suddenly very glad to be leaving the room- I don't think I could handle such an awkward scene.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I wait for Leia to leave the room before turning to Bail. I can't hold my tongue any longer.

"Did you really need to mention that in front of her?" I ask him. "The child has enough to deal with having her father off Force knows where."

"I know, I know," he replies. "I'm sorry," he adds, squeezing my hand. "Really. I just get so…angry when I think about how he's treated you, Padmé," he adds. "You deserve so much better."

I know that behind his words are feelings that I'm just not prepared to deal with. I've done nothing to encourage Bail, but it seems that our working relationship has come to mean more to him than simple friendship and collegiality.

"Please don't go there," I tell him as I stand up, pulling my hand free from his. "You know how I feel about talking about him."

"I know," he replies, standing up as well. "But I also know that you're a free woman now, Padmé," he adds, following me out the door as Threepio enters to clean up. "And you shouldn't be denying yourself happiness because of him."

I turn to him. "Is _that _what you think I'm doing?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies. "You're divorced from the man, Padmé," he continues. "And yet you refuse to get past him. Why is that? Why can't you just let go and move on with your life?"

_Because he was my life…don't you get it? _ I reflect as I walk across the hallway into a small parlour.

"Bail, please," I say as I sit down on one of the sofas. I suddenly feel very tired, and would like nothing more than for him to leave.

"Padmé, be realistic," he says, sitting beside me. A little too close beside me for my liking. "Darth Vader is not the man you married," he tells me. "He is _not _Anakin Skywalker, nor will he ever be again. He's a cruel, sadistic, dangerous man who cares for nothing and no one except his own massive ego and the power…"

"Stop," I say, standing up. "Just…stop. Do you really think I need to be told all this? I know the man better than anyone. I know what he's become. I don't need to be reminded of it."

Bail stands up too. "You're right," he replies. I'm getting tired of him and want him to leave. "I'm sorry," he says, pulling me into a hug. "Please forgive me," he adds.

I stand in his embrace, feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

"Bail, I think it's time to say goodnight," I tell him, pulling away.

He releases me, reluctantly, and nods. "Very well," he says. "Goodnight Padmé," he says, leaning close as though to kiss me. I'm shocked and pull back even further, giving him a clear message that this isn't going to happen.

"Good night, Bail," I say in a tone that brooks no misinterpretation.

He lets his hands drop, his face showing his disappointment. "Goodnight," he replies, and then leaves me, finally. I sit down again once he's gone, the whole incident leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Move on? Does he really think I'm ready to do that? I'm not sure I'll ever be ready. And the fact that the signed divorce papers are upstairs in my night table is the proof of it.

"Mom? You okay?"

I look up to see Leia in the doorway.

"Yes," I say, standing up. "Just…tired," I add walking over to her.

Leia nods, watching me closely. She's so intuitive and knows that I'm upset.

"It'll be okay, Mom," she says, hugging me. I hug her back, thanking the Maker for the two remarkable children I'm blessed with.

"I know," I reply. "Goodnight sweetheart."

"Goodnight Mom. Sweet dreams."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 51 Voice_ of Leia Skywalker _

_I'm eighteen today!_ This is the first thought that enters my mind as I wake up. No longer a child, I can now be treated as an adult in every way. Han Solo – here I come! He and I have grown to be great friends over the past six months, just as he and Luke have. But the feelings I've always felt for him haven't gone away. What my family wrote off as puppy love has matured. I _know_ he's the one- I just have to find the nerve to tell him so.

"Good morning!" I say in greeting as I meet my brother in the breakfast room. "Happy birthday!"

Luke smiles. "Same to you, little sister," he replies. He loves to tease me about the fact that he's a measly few minutes older than me.

"Can you believe today is finally here?" I ask as we help ourselves to breakfast.

Luke shakes his head. "Nope," he replies, piling up his plate. "I just wish Mom wasn't going to all this trouble for us."

"You know why she likes to do that," I point out as we sit down together.

He nods. Mom wasn't with us for our first sixteen birthdays, so she's vowed to make up for it with every one from now on. I think it's sweet.

"I know why," Luke replies. "But why can't we just have a party here?" he asks. "Why does it have to be some big posh affair at the senate?"  
"Because eighteen is a big deal," I tell him. "Because they already have a banquet facility set up," I add. "Because Mom is the co-chancellor…should I go on?"

"All right, all right," he replies. "I get the picture."

"Besides, last year's party was here," I remind him.

Luke frowns, and I know he's remembering the ugly incident that occurred on our last birthday: the fight between our parents that was the catalyst for their eventual divorce.

"Hard to believe that's already been a year ago," he says, the frown not leaving his face.

I nod. It has been a year since we've seen or heard from our father- and neither of us has completely become accustomed to his absence. Each of us have dealt with it in our own way; Luke throwing himself into his Jedi skill training and me into helping Mom with her political duties. Having Han around has really been helpful to us both, for I know Luke has come to think of him as a big brother.

"Good morning!" Mom says in greeting as she joins us. She kisses each of us on the cheek. "Happy birthday," she says. "Happy _eighteenth _birthday," she adds.

I look up at her with a smile, noting that she's already dressed and looking perfect, as usual.

"Thanks Mom," Luke says.

"All set for the big party?" Mom asks us.

"Yes, I can't wait!" I tell her. Luke nods his mouth conveniently full of food.

"I hope everything goes well," she says as she joins us at the table.

"It will," I assure her. "You're the best party planner I know."

Mom simply smiles in response.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

It's hard to believe that my two babies are eighteen years old today. They're adults now, and I've only known them for two years. It's unfair- but I'm grateful that we're together now. If there's anything I've learned in the past two years it's that regret is futile and a waste of time. I have learned to embrace my life and all its facets for what it is, and not bemoan what cannot be changed. Life is too short for that.

Luke, Leia and I arrive at the Senate building just after noon. Han has come along with us. He has become a good friend to both of my children, and a trusted member of my staff. It's been good for Luke to have a male influence in his life over the past year, for without a father in the picture I was afraid he'd feel quite outnumbered in our household. I know that Bail Organa would give anything to fill that void for Luke, to be the father in his life. I don't want to hurt Bail, for he's been a good friend to me when I needed one. And yet, there is nothing in my heart for him but friendship. No, my heart belongs to only one man, and it always will. Despite the fact that he's gone, that I don't even know where he is doesn't diminish the fact that he will always been my one and only love.

"Wow, this place looks _amazing!_ " Luke exclaims when we enter the banquet hall. His reaction pleases me, for I know how uneasy he is with all this.

"They've done an excellent job," I agree, looking around. "The perfect setting for this special occasion."

Luke and Leia both seem to agree.

It isn't long before the vast room is full of guests. Friends of my children, both present and past, colleagues from the senate, and the few remaining relatives I have are here. I tried to encourage Luke to invite his guardians, but he didn't do so. It concerns me that it's been so long since he's spoken with them - probably more than a year now. If there was ever a time that Luke needed to talk to someone who knows and understands him, it's now. But he's assured me that he doesn't, and, I can't push the issue. He's eighteen now- there isn't a lot I can do.

"Everything is lovely, Padmé," Sola tells me. "Just lovely!"

I smile. "Yes," I agree. "Things really came together. Thank you so much for all your help in planning this."

Sola waves a dismissive hand. "I didn't do anything, really," she replies. "This is your work, Padmé. Don't be so modest."

I laugh, my eyes travelling over the guests, making sure everyone is happy and having a good time. Luke, Leia and Han are laughing together, as usual. It's like Han is a member of the family now. Bail is engaged in a rather serious conversation with Mon Mothma. I've done my best to keep this a family affair- but it seems that politics are impossible to avoid even in this setting.

"I really like Senator Organa," Sola says, quite out of the blue. I turn to her, and see that she's been watching him.

"He's a good person," I agree.

She nods. "You really have a lot in common with him," she points out.

"I suppose so," I reply, not liking where this is going.

"And he loves Leia so much," she adds.

"Sola, what are you driving at?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Nothing," she lies. "Just…it's been a year, Padmé," she says, finally getting the crux of the matter. "And you're too young to be single for the rest of your life," she adds.

"Sola please," I say.

"No, hear me out," she replies. "You and Bail are already good friends," she points out. "I just think that you shouldn't dismiss the possibility of there being something more between you than simply friendship."

I sigh and look away. "You know why that is," I tell her.

"Yes I know," she replies. "Surely after all that man has put you through you aren't still carrying a torch for him," she adds.

I frown. "You have no idea how much Anakin meant to me," I tell her. "What he will always mean to me."

"Even after all he did?" she asks. "How? How can you still care about him?"

I sigh. "I can't explain it, Sola," I tell her. "I just know that I will never love another man, not ever."

"You might if you gave one half a chance," she replies.

I shake my head and look away again. This time my eyes fall upon the face of someone I thought I'd never see again, a face from the past, my past: Obi-Wan Kenobi. I frown, thinking I must be mistaking someone else for him- how could he possibly be here? Luke told me he'd become a hermit living in the wastelands of Tatooine. So what is he doing here? I watch him for a moment as he turns to the doorway as though waiting for someone to join him. And then someone does, and I have to grab my sister's arm for support when I see who it is: Vader.

"Padmé what is it?" Sola asks, no doubt alarmed by my sudden change in demeanour.

"Look Sola, at the doorway," I say, unable to take my eyes from him. "It's him, it's Vader!"

Sola looks over to where I've indicated and I can see that she's as shocked as I am to see Vader standing there. He looks so different from the last time I saw him; his hair, now well past his shoulders, is as bleach blond as it was when he was a child. He's very tanned, and he looks leaner than he did a year ago. Now I know where he's been, why Obi-Wan is here. Tatooine is where he has spent the past year; but why? The last time he and Obi-Wan met they tried to kill one another. How is it now that they are here together?

"Padmé, did you hear me?"

I turn to Sola, quite oblivious to her and her question. "No, I…I didn't," I reply.

Sola frowns. "He's looking over here," she tells me. "What are you going to do?"

I look back at where Vader stands, and for the first time in more than a year, our eyes meet. And as soon as they do, I know: the darkness is gone. He's Anakin again. The realization of this makes my knees grow weak, and I turn to my sister for support. "I need some air," I tell her. Sola doesn't ask questions and directs me out of the room and over to the terrace.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

The sight of my wife again after so long renders me incapable of movement and for a moment I simply stare at her. She looks utterly gorgeous, her hair piled up high, the gown she wears accentuating her beautiful body. It's been so long since I've seen her that I simply take a moment to drink her in, like savouring a fine wine. And then she looks at me, our eyes meet. _Hello my angel,_ I tell her silently. _I've missed you more than words can express. _ But Padmé doesn't want me, for she looks away instantly and then leaves with her sister. I knew that this was a risk I took coming back after so long. But today is my children's birthday, their 18th birthday. I couldn't miss that.

"Everything all right, Anakin?"

I turn to look at Obi-Wan who stands at my side.

"I…I just saw Padmé," I tell him, looking across the room to where she had been standing. "I couldn't speak, Obi-Wan, I couldn't even breathe."

He chuckles. "Some things never change, it seems," he comments, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Good thing you took the time to get cleaned up," he adds. "This is quite the posh affair."

I nod, only half listening to him. I'm looking over the room to see if I can spot my children, not caring that many eyes are now on me. I can sense how surprised people are to see me, as well as to see Obi-Wan. But I don't care about that right now. I only want to see my beloved children.

"DADDY!"

I turn and see Leia running over to me, her arms wide open. I smile, my throat constricting with joy as she jumps into my embrace. I hold her tightly as she kisses my face again and again.

"I can't believe you're here!" she cries as I set her down. "Where have you been? Why haven't you contacted us?"

I set my hands on her shoulders, not surprised by her questions. "I've been on Tatooine," I tell her. "With my oldest, greatest friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi," I add, turning to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan smiles at Leia. "Happy birthday, Leia," he says. "Hard to believe it's been eighteen years since I held you in my arms, a tiny baby a few minutes old."

Leia smiles. "It's wonderful to meet you, again," she tells him. "But I still don't understand," she adds, looking back at me. "Why did you leave, Dad? Why didn't you tell us where you were going?"

Obi-Wan looks at me with a smile, and leaves us, given me the chance to talk to my daughter alone. "I needed to go away, Leia," I explain. "I was in a very bad place, and not fit to be around anyone, especially my family."

"And now?" she asks, looking up at me.

I smile. "What do you think?" I ask her, knowing she is intuitive enough to sense the change quite easily.

Leia examines my face for a moment, and her eyes grow wide. "The Darkness is gone," she says, her voice incredulous and full of emotion. "Oh Dad, you did, _you did it!" _she cries, throwing her arms around me once more. Her joy is infectious, and I soon find myself smiling from ear to ear. It's so good to be home again. I only hope the rest of my family is as welcoming as my daughter.

"So Obi-Wan helped you?" she asks. "He helped you return to the light?"

I nod. "I had no where else to go," I explain. "No one else to turn to. I knew of all people in the galaxy, Obi-Wan could help me. And he did. It wasn't easy, but I did it, Leia. I've abandoned the dark side completely."  
Leia smiles, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm so proud of you, Dad," she says, taking my hands in hers. "I knew you could do it!"

"Thank you sweetheart," I reply, kissing her brow. I look around the room, discouraged that I haven't been greeted by Luke yet. "Where is your brother?" I ask Leia.

She looks around the room briefly. "I'm not sure," she replies. I can sense her grow tense at the mention of her twin, and I think I know why.

"He's still angry with me," I state. "Isn't he?"  
Leia looks back at me, and I can see in my eyes that I'm right. "I'm sorry," she says. "He's been pretty depressed since you left, Dad," she tells me. "But now that you're back…I'm sure he'll come around."  
She's not at all sure, but feels compelled to tell me so anyway. It seems I will have a long road ahead of me if I'm to win back my son's love and trust.

"How is your mother?" I ask Leia. "She looks wonderful," I add.

"She's good," Leia tells me, but I can sense otherwise. "She's been very busy, as you can imagine," she adds.

I nod. "She's made a lot of changes," I comment. This doesn't surprise me – I know how much Padmé hated the Empire. Now I understand why, for I feel the very same way.

"Are you here to stay, Dad?" Leia asks me. "You're not going back to Tatooine, are you?"  
I shake my head. "No," I tell her. "Obi-Wan and I have a great deal of work to do here," I tell her.

"Meaning?" she asks.

"We have plans to rebuild the Jedi Order," I tell her, "starting with the Temple. I've been working on plans for weeks now," I tell her, growing excited at the thought of it. "I'm going to gut the place and then start from scratch."

Leia's smile just continues to grow. "Oh Daddy," she says. "You have no idea how happy this will make Luke," she tells me. "There's nothing he wants more than to be a Jedi."

I smile, pleased to hear it. "Then perhaps he'll be interested in helping us," I tell her. "It's a huge job," I add.

"You're going to hire people aren't you?" she asks.

I nod. "Yes, of course," I tell her. "But I want to get in there too," I add. "I want to rebuild with my own hands when I helped tear down."

"I understand," she replies. "I'd love to help you too," she adds. "After all, Luke isn't the only one who wants to become a Jedi some day."

I find myself smiling again.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I can't believe my father has shown up here today. Just…out of the blue, as though he hasn't been missing for the past year. Leia is thrilled to see him, I can feel her happiness and excitement clear across the room. I'm not sure how I feel right now, actually. I'm surprised to see my father, and as I watch him interact with my sister, I realize just how much I've missed him. He seems different now. For one thing I've never seen him with long hair, but it's really long now, past his shoulders. It's wavy, and as blond as mine used to be when I lived on Tatooine. He's tanned too…is _that _where he's been? Tatooine?

"Hello Luke. It's good to see you again."

I start at the sound of a voice nearby, and turn to see Ben Kenobi standing beside me. I simply stare at him in shock, thinking that I must be dreaming. What is _he _doing here? And then it all makes sense….I look back at my father, knowing now where he's been, understanding now why he seems so different. I look back at Ben, who is smiling at me, no doubt sensing my jumbled emotions.

"Ben?" I say simply.

"It's Obi-Wan, actually," he tells me. "I imagine you have a great number of questions about now, Luke."

"Uh…yeah, you could say so," I reply. "Has my father been with you all this time?"

Obi-Wan nods. "He came to me a year ago," he tells me. "He was a wreck emotionally and had actually considered taking his own life," he adds, looking over to where my father and sister are getting caught up. "But he knew enough to come to me, he was drawn by the Force," he tells me. "He needed to complete the prophecy, and he has done just that."

I look back at him, hoping I'm not misinterpreting him. "You mean…" I stop, not wanting to say what I hope with all my heart is true.

Obi-Wan smiles. "Yes Luke," he replies, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Your father has abandoned the Dark side. He is Anakin Skywalker once again."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 52 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala_

"Padmé don't let his presence here ruin things for you," Sola tells me. "Don't let him do that to you again."

"I won't," I reply. "I don't think he's here to make trouble, Sola," I add. "I think he just wanted to see his children on their birthday. He does have that right, after all."

"I suppose," she replies.

"Go on inside, Sola," I tell her. "I'll be right there. I just need a moment to collect myself."

She looks at me doubtfully. "Very well," she replies. "But don't stew out here for too long. You've worked too hard on this party to miss it because of Darth Vader."

I smile and say nothing more as she leaves me. I turn back to the railing and rest my hands on its smooth surface. My emotions are so confused that I don't even know how to feel right now. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see him- he looks so wonderful with his beautiful long hair, just as he once looked so many years ago. Just seeing him makes my heart race. But then my mind kicks in- and I remember. I remember how much he has hurt me, how he has broken my heart not once, but twice, how I lost sixteen years of my life because of him. I've lived a year without him, and as difficult as it's been, I've survived. I've proven to myself that I _can _ live without him, regardless of my feelings for him.

"Hello Angel."

I start, and turn around quickly to see Darth Vader standing before me.

"Hello," I say, doing my best to keep my emotions level. "What a surprise seeing you here today," I add.

He nods. "I'm sure," he replies. "I hope you don't mind," he adds.

"No," I reply at once. "Luke and Leia are your children too," I add. "I'm sure it will mean a lot to them to see you here today."

"I've only seen Leia so far," he tells me. "She's very happy to see me."

I nod. "Luke will be too I'm sure," I tell him, though truthfully I have no idea how my son will feel. Vader must know this too, for he frowns.

"I don't know about that," he says quietly, looking away for a moment. He's so different now- the arrogance, the insufferable egotism is gone. I've never seen him like this, and I have to wonder if he is merely contrite about what happened between us, or if this change goes far deeper.

"I need to apologize to you, Padmé," he says finally, looking back at me. "Once again, I need to beg your forgiveness."

I hold up my hand, not wanting to go down this road. The wounds have almost healed- I don't want to reopen them now.

"Please don't," I say.

"I have to," he persists. "I can't tell you how many times I've considered killing myself over the past year," he confides in me. I'm too shocked to reply, and just let him continue. "I'm not asking for a second, no, a _third _chance," he tells me. "I don't deserve you, I never have," he goes on. "All I want is to know that you don't hate me," he says, his brilliant eyes bright with unshed tears.

"I don't hate you," I tell him. "I could never hate you."

He nods, and seems relieved to hear it. "Thank you," he says. "I want you to know that if you ever need anything, please come to me," he continues.

His sincerity is making my heart ache, and I simply have to know where this change has come from.

"Where have you been, Anakin?" I ask. "It's been a year." I want to shout at him, strike him in frustration over his disappearance; but I have to keep my emotions close. I'm too vulnerable to him, even now- I cannot let him get inside my carefully constructed defences. I must remain calm and cool.

"I went to Tatooine," he tells me. So I was right. "I left because I was suicidal, I was…human wreckage," he adds. "After you lost the baby...because of me, I couldn't live with myself. I needed guidance, and I found it on Tatooine. Obi-Wan helped me, Padmé. He helped me get through the darkest time of my life."

His words surprise me, but they also anger me. The darkest time of _his _life? He left me to deal with the loss alone, he left our son after attacking him- and _he _needed guidance?

"I'm glad he was able to help you," I say in my best senatorial tone. "Though rather surprised you'd seek him out after what happened between you in the past," I add.

"I was a different person then, Padmé," he explains. "Just as I was a different person when I came to Naboo that night," he adds. "A dark, terrible person- I've left that person behind, Padmé. I've left the darkness behind. Obi-Wan helped me to return to the light, and I will never turn away from it again."

I believe he means what he says- he is more earnest than I've ever seen him. If only this metamorphosis had happened a year ago, if only it hadn't taken the death of my baby to bring it about.

"That's wonderful," I tell him, smiling. "Really."

He frowns, and I can tell that he's disappointed by the marked lack of enthusiasm in my response. But surely he doesn't think we can just pick up the pieces now, after everything that has happened, because of this?

"I need to return to my guests," I tell him. "Please stay, there's plenty of food," I tell him. "I know the twins would be disappointed if you didn't."

He nods. "Thank you," he replies. "I appreciate your generosity."

I smile at him, and then walk away.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I watch Padmé walk away, feeling a cold, empty feeling inside of me as she does so. She doesn't hate me, for which I'm grateful. But she doesn't love me any more either- that was clear to me in her coolness, her indifference. And yet, how could I expect anything different? After what I put her through, I cannot expect anything but distance from her now. She wants nothing to do with me, she doesn't want me in her life, and I will simply have to learn to live with that. Nothing would make me happier than to resume my relationship with Padmé, to remarry her and spend the rest of my life with her and our children. But I won't get that chance- and I won't force myself upon her. As much as I want her, I won't push her. If it's to be, she will be the one to initiate things. It will be her decision.

I return to the party, and start to look around for Luke. I have missed my children so much over the past year that I'm anxious to spend time with them, to reconnect with them. I've already spoken with my daughter, who seems to be willing to forgive me for my lengthy absence. Her welcome has made my return to civilization a little easier, but I still have a long way to go. I know that there are many in this new government that Padmé has created who despise me, none more than Bail Organa. I see him now, talking to Padmé, and feel my entire body grow tense. He is standing close to her, too close, and even from across the room I can sense his feelings for her. Have they grown to be more than simply colleagues? Does she share the feelings he so clearly has for her? The thought that she might actually have feelings for this man sickens me.

"How are things going, Anakin?" I turn to see Obi-Wan standing at my side.

"I'm not really sure," I reply.

He frowns. "Meaning what exactly?"

I sigh, and run a hand over my newly shaven chin. "I can't quite get a read on Padmé," I tell him. "She was polite, but …not warm."

He nods. "Well, you didn't expect much more than that, did you?" he asks.

"No," I reply at once.

"Then don't despair," he replies. "Stay the course, Anakin. You've come so far. Don't let yourself become discouraged now."

He's right. What I've accomplished in the last year is unparalleled in the lore of the Jedi- I have returned to the light side of the force. I can't let this huge step forward be eroded away by feelings of jealousy and bitterness.

"You're right," I say to him finally, grateful once more for his guidance.

"Have you spoken to Luke yet?" he asks me as we make our way into the room.

"No," I reply. "I haven't seen him. Have you?"  
"I have," he replies. "And I had the opportunity to speak with him as well," he tells me.

I turn to him in surprise. "You did?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies. "He's a very mature young man," he tells me. "You should be very proud."

"I am," I tell him. "Immensely proud, of both of my children," I add. "I just hope I haven't completely ruined the relationship I've built with Luke. We left on very shaky terms."

"Yes," he replies. "But that's behind you," he insists. "You're a new man, Anakin, a better man. And Luke loves you a great deal. He will come around. Just be patient and give him the time he needs."  
I nod, knowing that it will not be easy. I've never been a patient man, after all. But, as usual, Obi-Wan is right. I need to let my family decide what role I will play in their lives.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

"Mom, the punch bowl is getting low," I inform my mother.

"Excuse me Bail," she says. I think she's probably been looking for a way to get away from him- I'm glad I could help her do that.

"The serving droids aren't doing their job," she comments to me as we make our way back to the kitchen.

"I guess not," I reply. "Maybe there's a problem of some kind," I suggest.

"Yes, perhaps," Mom replies. She's about to say something more when we overhear two servants talking about my Dad. They don't know we're in the room, and speak quite openly about him.

"Wasn't he the emperor?"

"Yeah, but he resigned, remember?"

"Oh yeah, right. I had no idea he was so hot!"

"No kidding! Don't you just want to run your fingers through those gorgeous curls of his?"

"I want to do a lot more than that to him!"

They laugh, and I can see by the look on Mom's face that she's thoroughly annoyed.

"Excuse me," she says loudly so that they'll hear her. "We need someone to fill the punch bowls."

The two women appear, both of them red faced and embarrassed looking.

"Yes, Milady," one stammers.

"We'll get on it right away," the other adds, and, grabbing her companion by the arm, rushing out of the room.

Mom shakes her head in dismay and then turns to me. "Can you believe such unprofessionalism?" she asks.

"I can't believe how they were talking about Dad," I say. I'm old enough to know the innuendo behind their words, and I can sense how upset Mom is about it. More than upset- jealous.

"Very inappropriate," Mom says. "Come on, let's get back to the party."  
I nod, and watch Mom as we return to the party.

"You okay, Mom?" I ask her.

She turns back to me. "Of course," she replies, "why wouldn't I be?"

I simply smile in response as we walk into the party. I look across the room and the smile fades from my face. "Oh no," I say. Mom turns and looks to where the Viceroy is approaching my father.

"I asked him not to make a scene," Mom says, and I know she means the Viceroy.

"He feels threatened by Dad," I tell her. "Because of his feelings for you," I add.

"I know," Mom replies as we watch the two men meet in what's bound to be an ugly confrontation.

"I just hope Dad can keep his cool," I mutter with a sigh. Mom frowns, and I know she's hoping the same thing.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I watch as the Viceroy approaches my father. I haven't had a chance to speak to him myself yet; or perhaps I'm just avoiding him. I'm not sure which. I know that Organa is in love with my mother, and I'm sure that he is anything but happy to see my father here. Mom still loves Dad, there's no doubt of it. But whether she'll ever take him back again- that's another matter.

As I watch them, it becomes clear that the Viceroy is angry – his face, his body language makes it obvious. That's not surprising I suppose. What is surprising is my father's reaction to Organa's verbal assault. He's so…calm, calmer than I've ever seen him. I focus on him, trying to sense his feelings and I immediately notice the profound changes in him. Obi-Wan wasn't kidding- he _has _abandoned the Dark Side. A year ago Organa would probably be choking for breath right now had he confronted my father this way; but now…

I notice that Mom is also watching the scene unfold, her anxiety level clear as she does so. I'm not going to let all her hard work go up in smoke because Organa is insecure, and decide to step in before things escalate into something ugly.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

My father turns to me, the happiness in his eyes upon seeing me only adding to my amazement. Before he can respond to my question, the Viceroy speaks up.

"It's okay, Luke," he tells me. "Your father was just leaving, weren't you Vader?"

"My name is Skywalker," my father tells him. "Anakin Skywalker. Please remember that."

The Viceroy looks a little embarrassed, and his frown deepens.

"I will leave if you want me to, Luke," Dad says to me. "I only wanted to wish you and Leia a happy birthday."  
I shake my head at once. I haven't seen him in a year- I don't want him to disappear again so soon.

"No," I say finally. "It's okay," I say to the Viceroy. "I'd like to talk to my father alone if you don't mind."

"Very well," Organa replies, giving my father a dirty look. "But I'll be watching," he adds. "And any trouble from you, I'll have you thrown out. Understood?"  
My father simply nods, his blue eyes cold as ice. I know he's struggling to keep his temper, and he's doing a good job. Organa leaves us, finally, and I turn to my father.

"I'm sorry about that," I tell him. "I think he's just a little protective of Mom."

"I see," Dad replies. I can feel the jealousy surging through him. "I wonder why that is?" he adds, more than a little bitterly.

"Well, he's been looking out for Mom since you left," I tell him. "She was a mess."  
The indignation in my father's eyes is snuffed out, replaced at once by a look of shame. "I can only imagine," he says quietly, looking away.

"No, I don't think you can," I counter, deciding to speak my mind. "She lost her baby because of you," I remind him. "And then you didn't have the balls to stick around to see if she was okay. Did you ever think of how _she _was feeling? Or me and Leia?"

He looks at me, and I can see the pain in his eyes. But I don't care- he deserves it after all he's put my mother through.

"No, I didn't," he admits to me. "I _was _only thinking of myself, Luke," he continues. "But the Dark Side does that to a person. It makes one arrogant and selfish. I know that now. When I realized what I'd done, when I felt that tiny baby die- something inside of me died too. And I knew that if I didn't purge the darkness that led me to that terrible moment on the terrace I would either kill myself or go mad. I know you neither you nor your mother will ever forgive me for that, but I want you to know that I've changed, Luke. The Darkness is gone."

I nod. "Obi-Wan told me as much," I reply. "So what now?" I ask.

He looks confused for a moment, as though he himself is unsure.

"Well, if I'm permitted to, I plan to rebuild the Jedi Order," he tells me.

"Why wouldn't you be permitted to?" I ask him, excited by the thought of it "The Jedi were a noble and just body."

"I'm a criminal, Luke," he tells me. "I'm sure that there are many, Organa included, who want to see me pay for my many crimes."

"I'm sure there are," I reply. "Good thing Mom gave you a full pardon," I add.

Dad's eyes widen in surprise. "She did?"

I nod. "While she was still empress."

My father seems very surprised and even humbled upon hearing this. "I had no idea," he responds quietly.

"How could you?" I reply. "Tatooine is the farthest planet from civilization," I add.

Dad smiles, and nods in agreement. "I've missed you, son," he says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I feel a strong surge of emotion in him, and it almost undoes me. I've missed him so much – more than I'm even willing to admit to myself. But part of me is still afraid to trust him.

"Looks like they're bringing in the cake," he says nodding across the room.

"Guess it's show time," I say with a smile.

Dad nods, the smile not leaving his face.

"You're gonna stay for cake, aren't you?" I ask him.

"Of course," he replies. "I've never been one to pass up cake," he adds.

I laugh. "I've missed you, Dad," I tell him. "I'm really glad you're back."

Dad smiles, and joins me and Leia as we prepare to blow out the eighteen candles on the huge cake.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 53_ Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

It's late when I leave the party. Obi-Wan and I have decided to call 500 Republica home for now, at least until we can make the quarters at the Jedi temple liveable again. I'm quiet and reflective as I fly to the building that had once been home to Padmé and me. I know that Obi-Wan is watching me, no doubt wondering what is going on in my mind.

"I think things went well, all things considered," he says finally.

I turn to him briefly. "I …I guess so," I reply.

"Remain positive, Anakin," he tells me. "You have a long road ahead of you still," he reminds me.

"I know," I reply. I know my son loves me still, but I will have to earn his trust again. And that won't be easy.

"It looks like we're going to be able to go ahead with our plans for the temple," I tell Obi-Wan as we ascend the lift up to the apartment. "Padmé pardoned me during my absence."

"Did she?" he auks. "Interesting," he adds.

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Well…it just seems odd that she'd think to do such a thing," he says.

I frown, his obtuseness starting to get to me. "What's your point old man?" I ask in exasperation.

Obi-Wan smiles indulgently. "Think about it, Anakin," he replies. "Your wife still loves you," he tells me. "Otherwise, why would she have bothered to pardon you?"

I hadn't thought of that. "You mean _ex_-wife," I correct him. "And I'm not sure about your logic," I add. "She may have done so simply because I'm Luke and Leia's father. Perhaps she did it for them, not me."

Obi-Wan sighs. "Must you always be so pessimistic?" he asks.

I smile. "Experience, my friend," I tell him. "Experience."

Obi-Wan chuckles. "Well it's well past my bed time," he replies. "Goodnight Anakin."

"Goodnight old friend," I reply. I wait until he leaves and then walk out onto the balcony. It's dark, and yet the city is, as always illuminated by thousands of city lights and buildings. I find myself missing the silent serenity of Tatooine already.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

The party was a success, but I'm very glad it's over. What a long day! Luke and Leia seem to have enjoyed themselves, as well as everyone else. Seeing Anakin again was certainly a surprise – I'm still in a state of shock over his unexpected appearance. My emotions have been a jumble ever since I first saw him, but until now I haven't had the chance to sort through them. Now, as I lay awake in the dead of night, I finally have the opportunity to do so.

I'm still in a state of disbelief that he abandoned the dark side. I've prayed for this for so long- but it's not until our marriage has failed that he actually dedicates himself to making it happen. I suppose the loss of our baby was the catalyst- which begs the question would he have ever abandoned the darkness had I not lost the baby?

I can't help but think of him as I lie awake in what was once our bed. I've missed having him in my bed – seeing him tonight has done nothing to make my feelings of need go away. He looks …wonderful. I couldn't really blame those serving girls for talking about him like they were. And yet…how can I ever get past what he has done? Mustafar was nearly impossible to forgive- but I did forgive him for it. I'm not sure I have it in me to forgive him for causing me to lose our baby. I'm not sure I can ever forgive how he treated Luke, who was only trying to protect me. _So why haven't I just ended our marriage completely? Why haven't I filed the divorce papers that he finally signed? _ I can't answer those questions; I suppose he's been a part of my life for so long that I can't quite imagine severing our relationship irrevocably that way. But now that he's back, I will have to find a way to deal with him. He's the father of my children, after all; it will be impossible to avoid him. I'm not sure that I would even if there was a way.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

Luke is already downstairs when I go down for breakfast. I guess he must be even hungrier than usual.

"Hi," he says, looking up at me briefly.

"Hi," I reply, sitting across from him. "You're up early."

He shrugs as he shovels food into his mouth. "Didn't sleep very well," he tells me.

"Oh? Why is that?" I ask.

He glances up at me. "I think you know," he replies.

"Dad?" I ask.

He nods.

I frown. "Surely you must be happy that he's back," I say. "I know you are."

"Is that so?" he replies.

"Yes," I reply. "You're not so hard to figure out, dear brother," I add.

Luke smirks. "So I'm happy he's back," he admits. "Does that change anything? Does it change the past? Does it bring back Mom's baby?"

I'm shocked by how bitter he still is- it's not like him at all.

"No, of course not," I reply. "But nothing can do that," I add. "Doesn't the fact that he's changed mean anything to you? He's abandoned the Dark Side, Luke! That's…incredible! No one has _ever _done that before. He's Anakin Skywalker again," I remind him.

Luke looks up at me, and I know despite his words that he is as excited as I am about that. "I know he is," he replies.

"_And_ he's rebuilding the Jedi Order!" I tell him. "Did you know that?"

"Yeah, he told me," he responds.

"You realize that you'll be able to become a Jedi now? Because of Dad?" I persist.

"Okay, okay!" he replies, putting his hands up. "Will you leave me alone? Geez!"

I smile. "It's okay to admit that you love him, Luke," I tell him. "You're not betraying Mom by loving him."

He frowns. "I don't think that," he retorts. "I just…don't know if I can trust him again," he admits to me. "Not yet," he adds. "Can you understand that?"

I nod. "I think so," I reply. "Just promise me you'll give him a chance, Luke," I add. "He's our Dad, after all."

"I'll give him a chance," he replies. "Satisfied?"

I smile. "Yes," I reply. "I'm satisfied."  
_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

Returning to the Jedi temple will not be easy. And yet, I must do it. I plan to have the place gutted, and rebuild from the ground up. Moreover, it's part of my rebirth, a necessary step towards complete redemption. I must face the demons of my past head on, and not avoid them. Obi-Wan assures me that this will give me strength; I hope he's right.

"Good morning!" Obi-Wan says in greeting as I enter the kitchen. He's already up, of course, and has made breakfast. "How did you sleep?"

"Not too badly, all things considered," I reply.

He nods. "Help yourself," he says, indicating the eggs he's scrambled. "I made plenty."

I nod and do so. We sit down in the kitchen at the small table to eat. I remember eating many meals with Padmé at this very table, trying to pretend her cooking was good. I can't help but smile at the memories.

"I have spoken with Chancellor Organa," he tells me.

I frown, the sound of his name threatening to make me angry. But I don't allow the anger to take root and nod. "Yes?" I ask. "What did he say?"  
"He wants to have a meeting," Obi-Wan tells me.

I look up at him. "What for?"

"Well, your plans are rather…elaborate," he tells me. "And will require some planning and, of course, financial considerations."

"I don't need any help with money," I say, returning my attention to my food. "Least of all from him," I add.

Obi-Wan looks at me, and I know without looking that it's his disapproving look. "Anakin," he says.

I look up at him. "I know, I know," I sigh. "I'm trying, Obi-Wan," I tell him. "He wants Padmé, I can't help but be a little annoyed at the thought of him."

He smiles. "As long as it's just a little annoyed," he remarks.

I laugh.

"At any rate, he and Padmé will have to give you permission to proceed," he reminds me. "And it will be costly, what you propose."

"I know that," I reply. "I have plenty of money, Obi-Wan," I assure him. "What better way to spend it than to rebuild the Jedi temple?"

Obi-Wan smiles. "I can't think of a better way, Anakin," he replies. "And I'm sure this meeting is simply a formality. With your wife serving as co-chancellor, it's going to be approved. Have no fear."

"My _ex-_wife," I remind him, hating the sound of that word. "Remember? Padmé and I are no longer married."

Obi-Wan's smile doesn't fade at all. "For now," he replies. "For now, my friend."

I sigh. _From your mouth to the Maker's ears, _I think. "So when is this meeting?" I ask.

Obi-Wan checks his wrist chrono. "In…thirty minutes," he says. "Is that too soon?"  
I smile. "No, not too soon at all," I reply. "How did you manage that?"

He smiles. "You're not the only one with connections in high places, Anakin," he replies.

I laugh in response, not at all surprised by his answer.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Why does Bail need to call meetings so early in the morning? I'm starting to think that he just wants an excuse to see me. I mean really – surely he would realize that I could use a morning to relax after yesterday's huge party. I suppose not, since he's called a meeting for 900.

"Good morning Milady," my assistant says as I enter the office suite. "Chancellor Organa is already inside the conference room," she tells me.

"Very well," I reply, not wanting to admit to her that I don't even know who I'm meeting with. I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

"Good morning," I say, entering the conference room. The three men who are in the room all stand up upon hearing my voice. And one of them is Anakin.

"Good morning Chancellor," Obi-Wan says, bowing respectfully. Anakin simply smiles at me, with a small nod of his head. I can tell he's as uncomfortable with this formality between us as I am.

"Please sit down gentlemen," I say and move over to the large table to sit down. Anakin sits only when I do, and, I notice, right across the table from me. Great.

"Obi-Wan has asked to meet this morning," Bail begins. "To propose a plan he has for the future of the Jedi Order."

"Actually, it's Anakin's plan," Obi-Wan speaks up. "Not mine."

I can tell by the set of Bail's jaw that this irks him, and it makes me happy to see it. He was very rude yesterday, and it's nice to see him put in his place.

"What is your plan, Anakin?" I ask him, folding my hands on the table and looking at him. He smiles, and does the same, leaning forward before he begins.

"Well, first of all, I want to gut the temple," he begins. "The inside that is," he adds. "Leave the outside as is."

"Why?" Bail asks, interjecting at once. "Trying to erase the evidence of your past crimes there?"

Anakin looks shocked by the question, and I see his brows lower, but only slightly.

"Continue please," I say to him, giving Bail a brief and frigid glance.

"I want to rebuild it," Anakin continues, directing his words to me alone. "I will spend whatever I need to in order to…"

"This is a fledgling government," Bail interjects again. "Your idea sounds rather extravagant and idealistic," he adds. "Do you really think we have the money for such a project at this time?"

Anakin turns his eyes to Bail at last, and I can see that his patience is wearing thin. "I have no intention of asking the government for any money," he states. "I will use my own money."

His words surprise me, and, for the moment, shut Bail up.

"It's a huge job, but I'm motivated," Anakin continues. "In fact, I want to do a lot of the work myself," he adds.

"While the temple is being rebuilt," Obi-Wan speaks up, "I will go and find Master Yoda," he tells us. "Anakin's plan entails more than simply rebuilding the building, it also includes rebuilding the Order itself. Master Yoda will be needed to help us to do that."

I smile, the feelings of pride I have for Anakin filling me. "I think it's wonderful," I say. "Simply wonderful."

Anakin smiles at me, and I can see in his eyes that he's truly excited about this. I think part of him needs to do this, that doing so will be therapeutic for him. He's come so far already. Who am I to curtail his progress by shooting down his idea?

"I suppose if you finance it yourself," Bail puts in, determined to find fault with Anakin's ideas.

"Chancellor, with all due respect," Obi-Wan speaks up. "Surely you can see how vital restoring the Order is to the future of this new republic you're building," he says. "I would think you'd be as enthusiastic as Chancellor Amidala is," he adds.

Bail's face reddens, and I can see that he's trying his best to bite his tongue. To his credit, he simply nods in response, his better judgement outweighing his jealousy. "Yes, of course it is," he agrees. "I … commend you both on your ambitiousness."

"When do you plan on starting this?" I ask Anakin.

"As soon as possible," he tells me. "The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned."

I couldn't agree more. "I'm sure you'll have some help," I tell him. "I can think of two Jedi padawans who will be more than happy to pitch in."

Anakin smiles again. "I was hoping that would be the case," he replies.

"Of course we will need to hire some workers," Obi-Wan says. "The temple is enormous."

"Yes," Anakin agrees. "I plan to find someone today," he adds. "I'm sure there are plenty of reliable construction firms here on Coruscant."

"Perhaps the same company you were going to pay to raze the senate building to the ground," Bail suggests. "I'm sure they could use the money since that job fell through."

No one says anything for a moment; I know myself I am too shocked by his rudeness to say a word. Finally it is Anakin who speaks up.

"Look, I know you hate me, Chancellor," he says. "I know you are incapable of seeing me for the man I am now, rather than the man I was. But perhaps if you're going to dwell on my past, you may want to go back a few more years, to the Clone Wars," he continues. "To the occasions when I risked my life for the Republic," he adds. "The past is the past- but if you insist on dwelling in it, then at least be man enough to include _all _of it, not just the bits you deem relevant."

Obi-Wan smiles, and I can almost see a twinkle in his eyes. "Well said, Anakin," he says, standing up. "We have a lot of work to do," he adds, as Anakin stands up too. "And with your leave, Milady, we'll be on our way," he says, bowing to me.

"Of course," I say. "If you need anything, please let me know," I add, looking up at Anakin.

"Thank you," he replies, his tone considerably softer when he addresses me. "Good day to you, Milady," he adds, bowing to me. I watch him leave, my heart full of confusion once again. Once he's gone I turn to Bail.

"You are really something else," I tell him, standing up.

He looks up at me with wide eyes. "What do you mean?" he asks. "You of all people should be on _my _side!"

I sigh. "This isn't about sides, Bail," I tell him. "It's about building the future. And I for one think Anakin's plans are brilliant, and just what this new republic needs," I continue. "And if you would look past your own petty insecurities, you'd see that too."

I leave the conference room, not giving him a chance to reply.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 54 _Voice of Luke Skywalker _

My father is probably the most persistent person I know. No sooner had he received the okay from my mother and the Viceroy to go ahead with his plans, then the contractors moved into the temple and began tearing everything apart. Part of me wonders if this is symbolic for Dad- he must have some pretty awful memories of this place considering what happened there. Maybe this is his way of trying to bury the past. Whatever his rationale is, I'm happy he's doing it.

I've never had a chance to step inside the Jedi temple before, but now that Dad is renovating it, and me and Han are helping, I'm there all the time. It's taken a week for the contractors to remove all the rubble. There's still some clean up to do, and once that's done, we can start with the fun stuff.

"This is what I see for this area," Dad tells us as we sit at a table set in the midst of one of the huge, empty rooms. He's spent a lot of time drawing up plans, and I can tell he's really excited about them. It's been great spending this time with him. The change in him is amazing- he's like a totally different person now.

"Looks good, sir," Han says. Dad looks at him.

"Han, I'm not your commanding officer anymore," he reminds him, for the umpteenth time. "Call me Anakin, okay?"  
Han smiles. "Okay," he replies. But I can tell he's still too much in awe of Dad to call him by his first name. "Where do you want to get started?"

"Well, I have carpenters finishing up here," he says, pointing to one section of the blueprints. "But we could work here," he adds, pointing to another section. "It still needs some cleanup," he adds.

"We're not afraid to get our hands dirty, are we kid?" Han asks me. I smile. "Nope," I reply.

Dad smiles. "Good," he replies, standing up. "Get Artoo to bring that last dumpster with us," he adds. "We're going to need it."

I know my father has more than enough money to hire people or buy droids to do this type of work, but I think it's part of his therapy to do it himself. He's come a long way, but I know he's still struggling sometimes. I suppose once the Dark Side has taken a hold of you, you wrestle with it for the rest of your life.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

We're finished, finally. It's taken most of the day, but I feel a sense of accomplishment now that the place is ready. Luke has stayed with me the whole day, and his help has been invaluable. But now that we're done, we're both tired, filthy dirty, and hungry.

"Whoa," Luke says, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "I didn't think we'd ever get finished."

I nod, looking around us. "We're finished," I say. "No doubt of it." I look at him. "What's for supper?"

Luke laughs, but before he can reply his comlink sounds. "Maybe it's Han," he suggests. Han had to leave us earlier, but said he would try to get back. But it's not Han- it's Padmé.

"Luke? Where are you? It's nearly 2200 hours," she says in a tone I recognize well.

"We sort of lost track of time," Luke replies. "I'm still with Dad at the temple."

"Still?" she asks. "Have you eaten?"

"Nope," he replies.

"I'm on my way to pick you up," she says. "I'll be there shortly."

"Okay, Mom," he replies. He looks at me with a smile. "She still treats me like a kid," he confides in me.

"That's a mother's prerogative," I tell him. "I could have given you a ride home," I point out.

"That's okay, Dad," he replies. "She's already on her way."  
"Very well," I reply. "I'm going to collect my tools."

"I'll help."

Padmé arrives a short time later, and finds us quite easily in the empty building. I'm suddenly embarrassed by my appearance, for I'm sure I'm a mess right now.

"You've really been working hard on this place," she comments, looking around. I nod, looking only at her.

"Why don't you come over for dinner, Dad?" Luke asks.

"I don't want to impose," I say immediately, looking at Padmé for her reaction.

"It's not an imposition," she says. "You're more than welcome to come."

I smile. "In that case, I'll follow you there," I say.

Dinner is fantastic- I'm still amazed that Padmé has managed to become a good cook.

"Where is Leia?" I ask as we finish up. "In bed already?"  
"No, there was a death in Bail's family," Padmé tells me. "She went with him to the funeral on Alderaan."

"I see," I reply, hating the fact that I didn't know that, hating more the fact that my daughter is probably spending more time with Organa than me these days.

"Well I'm beat," Luke says. "I think I'm going up to bed."

"After a shower I hope," Padmé says with a smile.

Luke chuckles. "What, you think I need one?" he asks.

"Yes," Padmé says at once. "Most definitely."

Luke laughs again as he stands up. "Okay," he replies. "Goodnight Dad," he says, looking at me. "Night Mom," he adds, giving her a kiss on the cheek. He walks away, leaving me and Padmé alone.

"I should probably go," I tell her. "I could use a shower myself."  
"You're welcome to shower here," she tells me. "You still have clothes upstairs," she adds.

This surprises me. "Really?" I ask.

"Yes, really," she replies. "Hanging in the back of the closet in the master suite," she adds.

"In that case," I say, standing up. "I'll get cleaned up. Thank you for dinner," I add.

"You're welcome," she replies.

I head upstairs to the master suite, the room I once shared with Padmé. I head into the fresher and remove my filthy boots and clothes. The shower feels great, I had no idea how dirty I was.

Clean once again, I wrap a towel around my waist and return to the bedroom to find the clothes that Padmé assured me were still hanging in the closet. I find some, all black of course, and pull out a tunic and a pair of trousers. Only…there's no shorts. I frown, torn between going commando and rifling through Padmé's drawers looking for them. I stand for a moment as I try to decide, feeling awkward and uncomfortable in what was once my bedroom. I hate feeling this way.

"Did you find everything okay?"

I hear Padmé's voice at the door.

"Uh…well…mostly," I call back. She doesn't answer, and I know she's standing there, trying to figure out what my problem is.

"May I come in?" she asks. I glance down to make sure the towel is still in place.

"Sure," I call back.

Padmé opens the door and enters the room. "What do you need?" she asks. I can tell she's trying not to look at me, and it pleases me.

"Underwear," I tell her.

Her face grows a little pink. "Oh," she replies, frowning. "I…I'm not sure where I put the ones that were in the drawer," she adds, looking around. I can sense how uncomfortable she is.

"I could always go commando," I tell her. She looks back at me to see if I'm serious. When she sees I'm joking she smiles.

"Wouldn't be the first time," she remarks.

I laugh. "No, I guess not," I reply.

"Let me see if they're in here," she says, returning to the closet.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I have to get away from him, even if it's just for a moment or two. He has always been able to read me and my feelings so well. And right now my feelings are more than a little intense. Seeing him wearing only a towel is a little more than I can handle right now, for it only reminds me of how long it's been since we've been together. His body is just as magnificent as ever, though he seems leaner than he was before. I suppose a year spent in the wastelands of Tatooine will do that. He's so tanned now too…just looking at him, envisioning what is under that towel he's wearing is sending my mind racing.

"Any luck?" he calls.

"I think they're up here," I call back. "But I can't reach the shelf without a chair."

I know he's trying not to laugh at me. My height has always been a great source of teasing on his part.

"Need some help?" he finally asks.

"Yes please," I reply.

He walks into the large closet and over to me. The scent of his skin is even more noticeable in the smaller space we share, only making this more difficult for me.

"Where?" he asks.

I point to a shelf where Threepio stashed the box of Anakin's things many months earlier. Anakin reaches above me easily, and brings the box down. He hands it to me. "Is this the one?"

I take it from him and leave the closet at once, needing to put some distance between us. I set it on the bed and open it, and, thankfully, discover that it is the one I needed. "Yes," I reply.

"Good," he replies, walking over to look inside the box. "I hate shopping," he adds with a smile.

I look up at him. "I remember," I tell him. "You're so tanned now," I say.

He looks surprised that I've noticed. "Yeah, well, twin suns will do that to you," he says, looking through the contents of the box.

"And you've lost weight," I add.

He pulls back and looks down at me. "You're right," he says. "Obi-Wan's cooking leaves much to be desired," he quips.

I laugh. It's a nervous, tension filled laugh, and he picks up on it at once.

"You okay?" he asks me.

"Yes, of course," I reply, walking away from him. "I'll let you get changed."

"You don't need to leave," he says.

I turn back to him quickly. "Excuse me?" I ask, shocked that he'd suggest it.

"I mean, I can go into the fresher if you want," he says, picking up a pair of shorts from the box. "Though it's not like you don't know what I look like under this towel," he adds with a smile.

"No, I mean yes…yes I do," I reply, starting to feel quite warm. "I'll…I'll just leave you alone," she says. "See you downstairs."

He says nothing, so I leave, feeling a complete fool for my display. What must he think of me? I can't be like this with him- I _won't _be like this. Perhaps inviting him here was a mistake, perhaps I'm simply asking for trouble. Anakin Skywalker has always been my greatest weakness, never more than now when he's standing nearly naked in my bedroom.

I walk away quickly and head downstairs, deciding to put some more distance between us lest he read my thoughts. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

As I get dressed I can't help but think about how strangely Padmé is acting. She seems very uncomfortable around me, almost like we weren't married for nearly twenty years. And she was certainly observant- noting how I'd lost weight, commenting on how tanned I am now. It's like she was checking me out. Was she? Did she enjoy seeing me wearing only a towel? If she did, she sure didn't want me to know it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that- I know how hard she's trying to keep her distance. And I did vow that I wouldn't push her, no matter how difficult it becomes to resist doing so.

I pick up my dirty clothes, making a mental note to have Threepio pack up the remainder of my things here, and head downstairs. The house is quiet. Where has she gone to?

"All set?"

I turn, the sound of her voice seemingly coming from no where.

"Yes," I reply. "All set. Maybe you could get Threepio to pack up my things," I suggest. "I could use them, and you could use the space."

"I will tell him to do that tomorrow," she tells me.

"Thank you," I reply. "And thanks again for dinner," I add.

"You're welcome," she replies. We stand for a moment or two in awkward silence. I try to get a sense for what she's feeling, but she's very effective at blocking me. All I can tell is that she's confused right now. She's feeling a lot of things, and isn't quite sure how to deal with any of them.

"I guess I should get home," I say. "It's late."

She nods. "Are you working at the temple again tomorrow?" she asks.

"Yes," I reply. "There's a lot to be done," I add.

"Yes, there certainly is," she adds. "You're doing a great job," she adds.

I smile. "Well, I haven't done much yet," I tell her. "Just getting things ready."

"Of course," she replies.

This is agony! The forced, uncomfortable words we parry back and forth are so unlike how things once were between us. Has it really come down to this.

"Goodnight Padmé," I say finally, deciding to put an end to our shared misery.

"Goodnight Anakin," she replies. I look at her for a moment, and then, on the spur of the moment, kiss her on the cheek. She doesn't pull away from me, but rather looks up at me, a look of surprise in her eyes. I study her eyes for a moment, trying to decide if I should take a chance that she wants me to continue. I look down at her mouth, and then back into her eyes. She knows me well enough by now to realize what I want, and yet she doesn't move away. I take this as a positive thing, and kiss her on the mouth. Just a small kiss, just long enough to let her know I want her, but not long enough to put any pressure on her. Once again she allows it to happen, and once again I push a little further. I kiss her again, this time with more insistence. I feel her mouth starting to open under mine and I move mine away to her ear.

"Tell me to stop if you want," I whisper. "Tell me soon."

"Don't stop," she murmurs, and take my face in her hands, turning it so that our mouths meet again. This time there is no pretence, no hesitation. Her hands run into my hair as our kiss deepens, our tongues meeting and exploring. By the Maker I've missed her!

And then she stops, and pulls back. "No," she says, catching her breath. "We can't do this. I'm sorry," she adds, looking up at me. I see in her eyes that she's torn between the feelings I know she still has for me and the mistrust that I placed in her a year ago.

"I'm sorry," I tell her, releasing her at once. "That was out of line," I add, stepping back.

"It's okay," she replies. "Just…let's not do it again."

I nod, my throat suddenly tightening. "Goodnight," I say quietly, and turn and leave her.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I stand in the great hall for a long time after Anakin leaves. I haven't managed to stop the shaking in my hands, and the racing of my heart. I can't believe I allowed that to happen! I _know _how vulnerable I am to him- so why did I let him kiss me? Why did I kiss him back? _It's been a year – you're only human – and he looks so good… _

I head up to bed, frustrated with my weakness and determined not to let Anakin Skywalker get the better of me.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 55 _Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

My night is spent restlessly, for my dreams were full of Padmé. I'm trying very hard not to read to much into the kiss we shared. No doubt I took her by surprise. And yet, she kissed me back. I could feel how much she wanted me- her desire was abundantly clear.

As for mine…I spent a long time under a cold shower when I got back to the apartment. I'm glad Obi-Wan isn't around right now. He'd have asked far too many questions.

Morning arrives, and I'm up early as has become my routine. Living with my old master for so long I have adopted many of his habits and customs. I suppose that isn't such a bad thing, thought I'd never have imagined that I'd enjoy getting up early. My idea of the perfect way to wake up in the morning was spooning up behind my wife and nuzzling on her neck until she woke up. And then of course, we'd make love for hours. But those days are gone now- I ruined that beautiful life I had. Not once- twice. I know that Padmé still has feelings for me, but I cannot push her. As much as I want her, I will let her decide when, if ever, we are to be together again.

My comlink sounds as I am eating breakfast, and I answer it at once, hoping perhaps that it's her. It's Han Solo.

"Morning, Anakin," he says, sounding far too cheerful for such an early hour. "Hope I didn't wake you."

"Not at all," I reply. "What can I do for you, Han?"

"Well, I was hoping you could head over to the ship yards this morning," he says. "I could use some advice on one of the new designs we've been working on."

I was wondering when he was going to ask me to help. "I'll be over in thirty minutes," I tell him.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

It was nice to see Alderaan again- it's been so long since I have. I wish the circumstances had been happier, though. Great Aunt Mara was always so nice to me when I was a little girl. It didn't matter that I wasn't her blood relative- she always spoiled me. I will be glad to get back home, though. Spending this much time with the Viceroy has just been…weird. He's asked me questions about my father, my mother, how much I see them together…it's creepy. Part of me just feels like telling him to forget it, but I don't want to be cruel. It's not his fault he's clueless where Mom is concerned.

"Would you like me to take you home?" he asks once we've arrived back on Coruscant. "Or is your mother meeting you?"

"Luke is, actually," I say, spying my brother waving to me from inside the hangar. "There he is right now."

The Viceroy turns and sees Luke, waves briefly, and then turns back to me. "Well, I guess this is goodbye then," he says.

I nod. "I'm glad I came with you," I tell him.

He smiles. "I am too," he replies. "It would have meant a lot to Aunt Mara," he adds.

We hug briefly, and then I run off to join Luke.

"So how was it?" he asks.

"As good as a funeral can be, I suppose," I reply. "What been going on here in the last few days?"

"Well, Dad and I have been cleaning up the temple," he tells me. "We're ready to start the rebuilding now."

I smile. "That's great," I reply. I'm thrilled that Luke has been spending time with Dad. "Dad must be so excited."

"He is," Luke assures me. "Han's been helping too when he can," he adds.

"Cool," I reply. I'm glad that Dad likes Han. I mean, you never know, right?

"Oh, by the way," Luke tells me as we get into his speeder. "We have a history test tomorrow."

I roll my eyes. "Great," I groan. "Just…great."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

My day is spent attending to paper work and in meetings, which is perfect. I need the distraction. It's been very difficult not thinking back to what happened last night between me and Anakin. I haven't seen him today, which is also perfect. I think it's best if I do my best to avoid seeing him alone. Part of the reason for this is that I don't know if I can trust him again. Part of it is that I don't know if I can trust myself.

Bail has returned from Alderaan, but I've seen very little of him. I'm hoping that at last he's taken the hint, though I somehow doubt that this is the case. More likely it's the enormous pile of paperwork that has been piling up on his desk in his absence that is keeping him away. So much the better.

By 1700 hours I'm ready to go home. Aside from a short break for lunch, I've been at it all day, and I'm tired. I stand up from my desk and walk over to the large window to look out at the city. It's been raining on and off all day, and things don't seem to be improving. I hate flying in the rain, but I want to go home. I'm about to do so when my comlink sounds.

"Sorry to bother you, Milady," I hear Han's voice say.

"No bother, Han," I reply. "Do you need something?"

"Well, if you could spare the time I'd like to show you the progress we've made on the new designs," he tells me. He sounds quite excited. "I think you'll be happy."

I smile. "I'm sure I will be," I reply. "I'll be right over."

The shipyards aren't the place I was hoping to go after a long day of work, but Han's enthusiasm isn't to be denied. I find my way to my ship and head over there at once.

Han meets me as I land, and I can tell by his smile that he's very pleased with himself. "Thanks for coming so soon," he says. "Come with me."

I follow him into the huge hangar where he and Luke have been working on the latest designs for the new fleet. His visions have been brilliant; his skill is remarkable for someone so young. He reminds me a great deal of Anakin in this regard.

"Right this way," he says. We walk amidst pieces of ships, old and new until we reach the area where he's been working. And it isn't until we get there that I see he's not alone- Anakin is here.

"Hello Padmé," he says, wiping his hands on a rag. He's wearing only his tunic, his arms bare, and his long hair is tied back out of the way. Is he trying to get to me? Was this all planned?

"Hello," I reply, looking away from him and back to Han. "What did you want to show me?"

"Well, I think Anakin here should be the one to show you," Han says. "It was his idea, not mine."

I look back at Anakin, who's watching me. "What idea is that?" I ask.

"Let me show you," he says. I follow him to the prototype the two of them have been working on. Anakin goes on to explain to me the modifications he's made, how much more fuel efficient and aerodynamic the model is, how he's decreased the drag and so on. I nod, pretending to listen, not being terribly interested in the technical jargon. Anakin is very excited, that's clear. This is his greatest love- aside from me I suppose. This is where he is in his element.

"What do you think?" he asks after he finishes his long description.

"It's wonderful," I tell him. "Brilliant even."

Anakin smiles. "Han here needs to take a lot of the credit," he says. "I just tweaked some of his ideas."

"Tweaked isn't the word I'd use," Han remarks with a smile. Anakin laughs, and it's clear to me how much these two men are alike.

"I know Luke has also had a hand in this," I remind them both. "Does he know about the changes you've made?"

"Not yet," Han informs me. "He's home studying for some test." Han's comlink sounds and he looks at me. "Excuse me," he says, and walks away, leaving me alone with Anakin, just what I didn't want to happen.

"So the kids have a test coming up?" Anakin asks me.

"Yes, tomorrow," I tell him. "History."

He nods his understanding, and the same awkward tension that arose between us last night returns. I look over at Han, whose face shows he's not happy with whoever he's talking to. He ends his conversation and returns to us.

"I'm sorry," he says. "But these yahoos don't know their a-….I mean they need some help," he tells us, his face colouring slightly at his near slip. "I have to go."

"Go ahead," Anakin tells him. "I'll finish up here."

"Thanks," Han replies. "Goodnight Milady," he says to me.

"Goodnight Han," I reply, and watch him run off.

"I didn't know you were helping Han now," I tell Anakin.

"He asked for some advice," he explains. "I've been here all day. You know how I love to mess about with this kind of stuff."

"Yes, I know," I reply. "Your great love."

"Well, one of them," he replies. "Not my greatest love, not by a long shot," he adds with a smile.

I am in no mood to be flirted with, least of all by him, and decide it's time to leave.

"I'd better go," I tell him, turning to go.

"It's coming down pretty hard out there," he points out. "Sure you want to fly in that? I know you hate to fly in the rain."

I stop. "Well, sometimes you have to do things even if you don't want to," I tell him. "I need to get home."

"Is everything all right, Padmé?" he asks. "You seem… upset."

I feel my throat constrict as the frustration I've been feeling since last night increases. Is he really so clueless?

"I'm not upset," I lie to him.

"Yes you are," he persists, stepping in front of me. "You forget how well I know you."

I look up into his eyes, his words only serving to add to my frustration. "Yes, you probably know me better than anyone," I tell him.

"Probably," he replies. "I don't think there's anyone I've ever been closer to than you, Padmé," he tells me.

"Is that right?" I ask. He nods, but a frown is forming on his brow, as if he senses my rising emotions.

"Then please tell me why, Anakin," I say, unable to hold back my words any longer. "Why did you leave without a word to me? Why did you stay away for a year without so much as a single message to tell me that you were still alive?"

His frown deepens. "I was a mess, Padmé," he tells me, looking away. "I couldn't be around you and the children, not in the state I was in."

"The state _you _were in?" I cry, my anger and bitterness bursting forth. "What about the state _I _ was in? _I _ was the one who suffered a miscarriage," I shout at him, my tears coming fast and furious. _"I _was the one whose heart was broken again by the man I loved more than my own life!"

He turns away, unable to respond.

"Don't you look away from me!" I tell him, grabbing him and turning him to face me. "You've never faced me since that day," I accuse him. "You still can't do it," I add. "Are you that much of a coward that you can't admit what you did?"

He looks at me, and I can see that I'm hitting him hard.

"I'm not a coward," he retorts. "I felt the death of that child as deeply as you did," he tells me.

"You _caused _ the death of that child!" I cry, striking his chest with my fists. "You and the darkness you loved more than me or our children! You took my baby from me!"

I can see instantly in his eyes how much this hurts him, and I almost regret my words. But I've been holding this in for a year- I've never had the chance to vent my anger at him for what he did. Surely he didn't think I could just forget about it simply because he disappeared for a year.

"I know," he says quietly, his eyes bright with tears. "I know what I did," he continues. "More than that, I felt it happen," he tells me.

I frown. "What do you mean you felt it happen?" I demand. "You were no where to be found!"

"I was there when the baby died," he tells me. "I was outside in the corridor, and I felt him die," he says as a large tear rolls down his face. "I connected to him, through the Force," he explains. "I felt his death, Padmé, so don't try to minimize what it did to me."

I'm …dumbfounded by his admission, and can't respond. It had never occurred to me that he would have tried to reach our baby- to know that he did, to know that he felt him die is too much for me and I break down. I thought I'd cried all the tears I could cry over the past year, but I was wrong. I cover my face with my hands as I sob, as I mourn once again for my child.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

Padmé's words have undone me, not because they are hurtful, but because they are true. I've been wrestling with the ugly truth that she accuses me of for a year, and have not yet learned how to deal with it. I stand uselessly as she cries, not knowing what to do. Do I try to comfort her? What words can I possibly offer to ease the pain? There's nothing I can say, no words can make it all better.

"I'm sorry," I say finally, wiping my own tears from my face. "I don't know what else to say, and I know those words mean nothing," I add. "But that's all I have."

She looks up at me, the pain in her eyes only adding to my misery. "I'm sorry too," she says quietly. "Sorry that the beautiful thing we once had is gone," she adds. "Sorry that it will never be the same," she continues.

No, don't say that…I can't bear to think that this is the end…it can't be, I won't allow it! But what can I do to change it? How can I possibly expect that she'd ever forgive me for this latest atrocity?

"I will leave Coruscant if that is what you want," I tell her finally.

She frowns, and I know despite everything, she doesn't want me to leave. "No," she says. "Luke and Leia need you in their lives," she tells me as she brushes away the tears from her face. "We need to be the best parents we can for them. They deserve that after all the turmoil they've had in their lives."  
I nod in agreement. "Yes they do," I reply. "I've missed them so much," I tell her. "I've missed you so much," I add after a moment's hesitation.

She shakes her head and I know she's holding back the tears at this point. "Don't," she says simply. "I can't bear it," she adds softly.

I say nothing more, and for a moment we simply look at each other, both of us fighting to maintain our composure. I want to hold her in my arms and comfort her, as I always have; but I don't think this is the time to do this. She's made it clear that she doesn't want me to express my feelings for her in any way, shape or form. And as difficult as it will be, I will honour her wishes.

"I have to go," she says finally. "I need to get home."

I nod. "Get home safely," I tell her.

"I will," she replies. She looks at me for a moment longer and then leaves me, not even saying goodbye.

I watch her leave, the constriction in my throat that I've been trying to ignore growing with each retreating step she takes. When she's finally out of sight, I sit down and cover my face with my hands, giving vent at last to my misery.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 56 _Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I get up early to cram some more before my test. History has never been a subject I've enjoyed- way too many boring facts for me. However, since Mom has become chancellor, the school curriculum has undergone a lot of changes, though. For one thing, the things I once learned in history class have now been revealed to be lies perpetrated by Palpatine and his minions. I guess that includes my father. Now we are actually learning the truth about what really happened. We have learned about the Jedi, and how they were eliminated by Palpatine and his men- meaning my father and his elite troops. It's not easy to hear about how my father was involved. But we're also learning about the Clone Wars- and my father's name is prominent once more. Our classmates treat Leia and I differently because of who are parents are, and I'm not sure how much I like that. But I guess that's to be expected.

"Morning," Leia says as she joins me at breakfast. "You all set for the test?"

"I think so," I reply. "It's a little easier to remember stuff when your own parents are involved."

Leia nods as she sits down across from me. "Did you hear Mom come in last night?" she asks.

"No," I reply. "Why?"  
Leia frowns. "I think she was very upset," she tells me. "She didn't have dinner, and I think she was crying."

"Why? What happened?" I ask.

"I don't know," she replies. "Maybe she'll talk about it this morning."

I doubt it- Mom is very tight lipped when she wants to be.

"I wonder if it has anything to do with Dad," I muse aloud.

Leia sighs. "Yeah, I was thinking that too," she replies. "They haven't had a lot to do with each other, though," she points out.

"No," I agree. "He was here for dinner the other night," I tell her. "They seemed to be getting along just fine."

"That's good," she replies. "Because I know she still loves him, Luke," she tells me.

"And he loves her," I add. "But, as Mom has said before, sometimes love isn't enough."

Leia frowns. "It should be," she mutters, and then says no more as Mom walks into the room. She smiles at us, but the smile never reaches her eyes. She's clearly still upset about something.

"Good morning," she says, bending and kissing each of us on the cheek. "Ready for your test?"

"Yes," we reply simultaneously.

"Good," she replies as she pours herself some juice.

"Is it okay if I go over to the temple to help Dad after school today?" I ask her. I'm hoping that the mention of his name will trigger some sort of response in her, but, as usual, she's able to hide her feelings.

"Yes that's fine," she replies.

Leia and I look at each other, both of us frustrated that we're unable to figure out what is going on inside our mother.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

It's been almost a week since I last saw Padmé, but I think perhaps it's better this way. The last time we saw one another was more than a little intense. And yet, I know that Padmé needed to say the things she did. I didn't give her the chance to do so a year ago when the loss of our child first occurred. It's been my hope that now that she's spoken her mind, we can move on. But then her words come to mind : _I'm sorry too…Sorry that the beautiful thing we once had is gone…Sorry that it will never be the same… _I can't quite accept this though- I can't quite imagine that it's over. I _won't _accept it: somehow I will prove myself to her and win her back again.

The inside of the temple is slowly being rebuilt. A crew of carpenters, electricians and assorted craftsman have spent the past few days setting up shop and starting from the ground up. I've been working along with them, happy to get my hands dirty. Obi-Wan has not returned yet, but he's contacted me to let me know that he's located Master Yoda. Apparently Yoda's health isn't the best, and isn't quite ready for the long space flight. But knowing Obi-Wan as well as I do, I'm sure he'll bring Yoda to Coruscant soon. I hope so – I hate being alone.

It's evening now, and I'm tired and hungry from a long day's work. Luke has gone, no doubt home to a hot meal. I've noticed that the invitations to join him have stopped. I suppose that isn't surprising. The last thing I want to do at this point is go home alone and cook for myself. I'm not very good at it, and I lack the patience to take the time to learn. Dax's diner isn't far from the temple, so I decide to go there. At least I won't be alone.

I know that Dax remembers me, but is not as warm as he once was. He was friends with a lot of the Jedi though- I guess he remembers my role in their destruction. Sometimes it seems as though the past will never release me from its grasp.

The diner is crowded when I arrive, as always. Dax's food is very popular – even the elite class like to slum here. I sit at the counter and order some dinner, ignoring the curious looks of people around me who must recognize me. I don't want to be recognized – anonymity would be perfect for me at this point in my life.

I've almost finished eating my meal when I see Padmé enter the establishment. She seems so out of place here in here in her gown and finery, and I have to wonder why she's here. She doesn't see me, for which I'm grateful, and heads over to the take away counter. I guess she's bringing dinner home for her and the kids. I remember how many times I brought dinner home for us- when she would try to make dinner and it would result in an unmitigated disaster. I smile as I remember those days, watching her as she makes her selection. _ I miss you, Angel, _ I think with an ache in my heart. Padmé leaves as soon as she receives her packaged up meals, and I return my attention to the cold remnants of my own.

"Can I get you anything else?"

I look up at the young woman behind the counter who stands in front of me. She smiles at me, and I can sense that she's more than a little interested in offering me something that's not on the menu. I suppose I should be flattered that women find me attractive and desirable- but I don't have any interest in any woman but Padmé, so their attention is wasted on me.

"No thanks," I reply. "Just the bill."

"Okey dokey," she replies, giving me a wink, and then saunters off with a considerable wiggling of hips.

As I sit waiting for the bill, I become aware of a disturbance in the Force. I stand up with a frown, searching out the source of it. It's nearby, very close – someone is in danger- someone is very frightened. It's Padmé.

I grab a handful of credits from my pocket and throw them onto the counter and run out the door, ready to kill who or whatever is causing Padmé harm. I run to the parking area, looking around frantically. And then I spot her. It's dark out, and the parking lot isn't well lit. She's at her speeder, but is prevented by getting into it by a group of four or five rough looking men. I run over at once, pulling my lightsaber into my hand as I do so.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I remember now why Anakin never wanted me to come here alone at night. I'd forgotten what a bad part of town this is. I'm surrounded, and although I have no money with me to steal, I somehow think that these men have something different on their minds.

"Ain't you a pretty one," the one closest to me says, reaching out and touching my hair. I'm repulsed by his touch, by the way he smells and recoil, retreating further against the door of my speeder. If only I could get inside- but I know they could easily prevent it if I tried. I have no weapon, and no way of defending myself from them.

"Leave me alone," I warn them. "Don't you know how I am?"  
"Nope," another one says, luring at me with rotten teeth. "And I don't think we care, do we boys?"

The other men agree with him, their laughter and leering stares making my skin crawl and my heart pound with fear. And then I hear a familiar voice.

"Step away from her now." It's Anakin.

"Who the hell is that?" one man asks.

"Some asshole," another suggests.

"I'm warning you," Anakin says, and I can hear the hum of his lightsaber. Thank the Maker he's here!

"What are you gonna do, pretty boy?" one taunts. "There's five of us, and one of you."

"Then perhaps you should get some of your friends and make it a fair fight," Anakin replies. The men don't get a chance to respond, for at once their leader is dragged away and then lifted into the air. Anakin uses the Force and directs him into a nearby dumpster as the others look on in astonishment.

"What the hell…how the hell did you do that?" another asks as they start to retreat.

"Magic," Anakin says, and Force pushes the man across the parking lot to crash into a parked speeder. The remaining three look at him, and then take off at a dead run, their bravado gone in light of his demonstration of power. He watches them to make sure they're gone, and then walks over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asks as he replaces his lightsaber on his belt. I couldn't help but notice that the blade is now blue, not red.

I nod. "Yes, I think so," I tell him. But truth be told, I can't stop shaking. "How did you…where did you come from?" I ask him.

"I was inside," he tells me. "I saw you come in, and then sensed that you were in danger."

This doesn't surprise me- he a always did know when I needed him.

"The real question is, what the devil are _you _doing here?" he asks, his brows lowering slightly. "How many times have I told you not to come to this part of town when it's dark outside?"

"Many times," I reply. "I was working late, and thought I'd go out and get dinner for me and…" I stop, knowing that if Anakin knows that I was getting dinner for Bail Organa he will go ballistic.

"For you and …please tell me it wasn't Organa," he says, his frown deepening.

"Well, yes, if you must know," I tell him.

"Why the hell didn't _he _come and get the blasted dinner then?" he demands. "What kind of a man sends you out here alone and stays behind where it's safe and comfortable?"

His anger doesn't surprise me. Anakin has always been very over-protective of me. "It's no big deal," I say, my own words ringing false even in my own ears.

"It could have been a very big deal," he replies. "What if I hadn't been here? Do you know what could have happened to you?"

I nod, the fear and relapse of adrenalin bubbling up inside of me.

"They could have killed you Padmé," he tells me. "Or raped you, or both," he adds.

"Thank you for being here," I whisper as I feel myself losing the tenuous grip I have on my tears. "If you hadn't…." I stop, unable to continue as I finally allow myself to react to the terrifying experience. I feel Anakin's arms encircle me, and I don't resist. I need his strength, his comforting embrace, and simply allow him to hold me close as I cry.

"You're safe," he tells me softly. "No one will hurt you, I promise."

I nod, knowing that so long as he has anything to say about it, I _ am _safe.

"Let me take you home," he says finally. "You're in no shape to go back to the office, and I don't want you flying right now."

"I'm okay, really," I tell him as he releases me.

He looks down at me doubtfully. "You can't fool me, Padmé," he reminds me. "I know you too well."

He's right – he does.

"Very well," I relent at last. "You win."

He smiles in response.

"I'll come and get your speeder tomorrow," he tells me as we walk across the parking lot to where his own vehicle is. "I can send…" he stops as we reach his speeder. As luck would have it, his was the very speeder that the ruffian landed on, and its windscreen is smashed to bits.

"Great," he sighs, running his fingers through his long hair. "Is there no justice in the galaxy?" he asks, turning to me. I can't help but smile.

"Come on," I say. "I'll drive _you_ home."

Anakin insists on taking the controls, and I don't mind. I've always liked this side of him, this take charge, over-protective side. I suppose I should let Bail know what happened- no doubt he's wondering where his dinner is. But given the fact that he didn't offer to go to Dax's and let me go alone, I think he can go without.

"You must be hungry," he tells me as we walk into the apartment. I look around for a moment, seeing that he's changed a few things around. I also note how warm it is in here- which is not surprising.

"A little," I admit. I dropped the take away on the ground when the thugs first approached me.

"Let me see if I have anything in the fridge," he says.

"You don't have to," I tell him, following him.

"Of course I don't," he replies, opening the fridge. He peers inside. "Well…we have a jar of pickles," he tells me. "And some grapes...I think they're grapes anyway."

I shake my head. "Let me see," I say. He steps aside, and I see for myself that he isn't exaggerating. "Oh my," I says. "How do you survive on such meagre rations?"

He smiles and shrugs. "Take away?"

I shake my head again.

"Actually it's not usually this bad," he tells me, starting to open the pantry cupboards next. "But Obi-Wan's not around right now, so I don't bother keeping stuff in the place."

"So I see," I reply, noting the cupboard's as depleted as the fridge. "Don't worry about it, Anakin," I tell him. "Really. I'm not really that hungry anyway, not after what happened."

He turns to me and nods, seeing that I'm being truthful. "Cup of tea?" he asks.

"That would be lovely," I say. "If you can manage it," I add.

He laughs. "I think I can do that much."

I leave the apartment an hour or so later, having had a pleasant visit with Anakin. I'm still astonished at the change in him – he's like a different man now, more like the man I married, but different somehow. He's calmer now, more controlled than I've ever seen him.

I'm nearly home when I realize that I've left my handbag at Anakin's place. And in my handbag are my security cards, my credit cards…._great…_ I make a left turn and start heading back, annoyed with myself for being so forgetful.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I'm encouraged by the progress made tonight. Padmé left here happy, and on speaking terms with me. That's a huge step for us- a step towards what I hope will become a civil relationship. Right now that's about all I can hope for.

A long hot shower is a luxury I've truly come to appreciate since returning from Tatooine. I know Obi-Wan would try to scold me for using so much water, but right now I have very few pleasures in my life. _Very few. _ A long shower is one I won't deprive myself of.

As I stand in the fresher, dripping wet, I become aware of the presence of someone else in the apartment. I know it can't be Obi-Wan- I just spoke to him earlier today. I wrap a towel around myself and head out to see who it is. I'm astonished to see Padmé in the living room.

"Padmé? What are you doing here?" I ask. She starts at the sound of my voice, and turns quickly to me.

"I'm…I'm sorry," she stammers, no doubt surprised to see me half naked. "I forgot my bag," she says, not looking a away just yet.

"Did you?" I ask, finding the emotions she's reflecting very interesting.

"Yes," she replies. "Have you seen it?"

"No," I say, walking over to her. "I haven't. I've been in the shower."

"So I see," she replies. "I mean…you're wearing a towel, of course you've been in the shower," she adds. I love it- she's actually nervous.

"Well I almost came out here naked when I heard someone here," I tell her. "Good thing I stopped to get decent."

"Well, like you said, it's not like I don't know what you look like under there," she remarks. Her comment surprises me. Is it my imagination or is she flirting with me?

"That's true," I reply.

She nods, her eyes looking over me, as though to refamiliarize herself with my body. "What's this?" she asks, pointing to a rather large scrape on my arm. "Where did that come from?"  
I look down at it, thinking for a moment. "I guess I did it when I was tearing down walls," I tell her. "It's no big deal."

"It looks painful," she says.

"I've had worse," I tell her.

She looks up at me. "Of course you have," she says. "How thoughtless of me."

I frown. "It's not thoughtless to care," I tell her. "It's nice to know that you still do."

"Of course I still care about you," she replies. "I always will."

I smile. "Well I don't need to tell you how I feel about you, Padmé," I tell her. "How I've always felt."

Her eyes convey her mixed emotions upon hearing this. I know she doesn't like me to remind her of how it was between us- and yet, here she is telling me how she feels. I can't help but be confused.

"Have you treated it?" she asks.

"What's that?"  
"Your injury," she asks. "Did you put any bacta on it?"  
"No," I reply.

"So typical," she says, shaking her head. "Wait here."

She leaves me, and heads to the bedroom area. I hate to think of what she'll think of the mess back there. She returns in a few minutes. I'm not sure where she found bacta, but she managed.

"How do you find your way around with all that mess?" she asks me.

I smile. "I manage," I reply.

She glances up at me with a smirk. "Sit down," she says.

I comply. Padmé sits beside me. "Honestly, you really do need to take better care of yourself," she tells me, examining the scrape closely. "This could get infected if it's not treated," she adds.

I simply nod in response, only half listening to her words. Her closeness is very distracting, but I can't let myself get lost in her- I'm only wearing a towel. It's not like I could hide it if I started getting turned on by her. However, when she takes my arm in her hands and starts to clean the scrape, I know it's game over. Apart from the brief kiss we shared recently, it's been a year since my wife has touched me. And even though it's simply my arm she's touching, it's enough to send a strong surge of desire through me. I look away from her, fighting against the reactions in my body, trying to summon the Force to cool the fire in my blood.

"All done," she says. I look back at her, glancing briefly at the wound she has just dressed, and then back into her eyes.

"Thank you," I say.

"You're welcome," she replies. We look at one another for a moment, the tension between us palpable. She knows the affect she's having on me, but she's not doing anything to put distance between us. In fact, her hand hasn't left my arm yet, and is still touching me. Without saying a word she runs it up my arm to my shoulder, and then to the side of my face. I close my eyes as she caresses my face slowly, knowing that I'd better put a stop to things soon or it will be impossible. It may already be impossible.

"Padmé," I say.

She puts a finger over my lips. "Don't," she says. "Please," she adds softly, moving closer to me. And then she kisses me. I stop trying to hold back, and kiss her back, pulling her closer. This kiss is different than the last one. Where that one was tentative, almost sweet in its innocence, this one has nothing innocent about it. This is a kiss of desperation, of two people who have spent too long apart, whose need for the other outweighs everything else in the universe.

My hands move to her blouse, ripping it open, not patient enough to mess about with the buttons. I need to touch her and I don't care if I destroy her garments in the process. Padmé stands up in front of me, her hands resting on my shoulders. My eyes rove over her body hungrily, drinking in her perfection that I've missed for so long. I pull her close, and bring my mouth to her to plant a slow kiss at the base of her neck.

"Ani," she sighs as I run my tongue up the side of her neck to her earlobe. I nip it lightly as my hands run over her hips. I look up at her, seeing the desire in her eyes. She smiles at me, and then looks down at the towel that is not quite covering me any more. She pulls at it, and it falls open. I stand up and pull her to me to kiss her again. Sweeping her up into my arms I carry her back towards the bedroom, our kiss never breaking. I remember how many times it ended up this way, how many furloughs from the Wars were spent like this. Laying her on the bed, I brace my arms on either side of her as she pulls me down to her. I bring my mouth down to hers and we resume our kiss. Somewhere at the back of my mind I feel certain that she will probably regret this- but I don't care. Right now I'm making love to the woman I adore. Nothing else matters.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 57 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I awaken with a start, not even remembering falling asleep. The bedroom is dark, and I have a long, muscular arm draped over me. And then I remember. I turn and look at Anakin who's sleeping peacefully beside me. How could I have let this happen? How could I have ended up in his bed this way? Cursing my weakness, I slide slowly out from under his arm and out of the bed. The clock on the night table says 109 hours. I have to get home- Luke and Leia will be frantic. I head to the fresher to get cleaned up.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I'm shocked by my appearance. I _look_ like a woman who has just had hours of hot, lustful sex- it's in my eyes, my dishevelled hair, my slightly swollen lips. Oh no…are those hickeys? What was I _thinking? _

I do the best that I can to tidy myself up and then go looking for my clothes, moving silently through the apartment lest I awaken Anakin. He won't be happy to find me gone- but I cannot stay. I never should have let things go this far- and yet…_I _was the instigator. _I _seduced _him. _

I find my clothes, noting with dismay that several buttons are missing from my blouse, and put them on. I'm about to leave when I spot my handbag, the very reason I came back here the first place. I grab it, cursing it silently, and head out to my speeder. The apartment is silent, as I hope my home will be when I reach it. Neither of my children is young or naïve enough to be fooled into thinking anything other than what happened actually happened. I just hope that they're asleep- I don't think I can face them right now.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

It's the weekend, so I get to sleep in today. It's a luxury I'm not often able to enjoy- Threepio is a real pain that way, far worse than any alarm clock. Luke has actually shut him down once or twice when he's been trying to wake us up- he does it with the Force so the poor droid doesn't even see it coming. I have to admit – that's pretty funny.

After a long shower, and what I'm sure most would consider a ridiculously long time doing my hair, I head downstairs. I'm starving- probably because it's almost noon.

No one is around, and I have to wonder if my brother is being even lazier than me this morning. I start to make myself something to eat when I hear someone enter the room.

"Good morning Princess." It's Han.

I turn to him with a smile. "Good morning," I say. I know he only calls me princess as a nickname- just like he calls Luke 'kid'. I'm not sure how much I like it anymore, though. It makes me sound like a snob.

"You do know my real name, don't you?" I ask him.

Han smiles. "Sure," he replies. "Leia."

I laugh. "Very good," I say. "Can I get you something to eat?"

"That's nice of you," he says, sitting down. I set about making us some sandwiches. "Don't you have servants for this?"

"Yes," I reply. "But I can do it myself," I assure him.

"I'm sure you can," he replies. "You're pretty self reliant for a girl your age."

Girl? Oh great…

"Yes I am," I tell him, setting a plate down before him. "And since when is eighteen a girl?" I ask, joining him at the table.

"Sorry princess…I mean Leia," he says. "I guess when you're as old as me it seems that way."

I frown. This isn't going well at all. "You're not _that_ much older than me, Han," I tell him.

"You don't know that," he says, and then takes a bite of his sandwich.

"Sure I do," I reply. "You're twenty-eight."

He nods as he chews. "Old eh?"

I smile. "Pretty old," I agree. "You should start thinking about retirement soon," I tease.

Han laughs. "Yeah, I'll get right on that," he says.

"You here to get Luke?" I ask him.

Han nods. "Yep," he replies. "Between the temple and the ship yards, there's plenty of work right now."

"I know," I reply. "My Dad's been really busy too- I haven't seen him in a week."

"He's pushing himself really hard," Han tells me. "I think he's trying to prove himself in a big way."

"I know," I reply with a frown. "The trouble is, I don't know if it will make any difference with my mother," I confide in him. "She's too afraid to trust him again."

He nods. "Can't really blame her, can you?" he asks.

"No, I don't suppose I can," I agree. "But I know she loves him," I add. "If only she would admit it to herself."

"Well, love's a funny thing, Leia," he says, standing up with his empty plate. "Or that's what I'm told, anyway."

I watch him as he puts his plate in the dishwasher. "You've never been in love?" I ask him.

He turns to look at me. "No," he replies. "Not yet," he adds. "You?"  
I smile. If he only knew. "Maybe," I tell him, standing up with my own plate.

He watches me, and I can sense his curiosity. Maybe there's hope after all.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I wake up quite late, for the light is streaming in between the curtains. I open my eyes and look at the clock, surprised that I've slept until past noon. Of course, I didn't sleep much last night. I smile as I remember, and roll over to cuddle up to Padmé. But she's not there- her side of the bed is cold and empty. I sit up with a frown. "Padmé?" I call. I get no response, so I get out of bed to look for her. However, my senses tell me before my eyes do that she's gone. I guess I'm not surprised- she didn't want to alarm the twins by not being home for them in the morning. I can still hardly believe what happened last night was more than just a dream. The fact that Padmé was the aggressor was even more surprising. I _knew _that she still loved me! And now that we've made this progress in our relationship, we can move forward. I want to make her my wife again as soon as possible. And now that I know she wants me, I'm confident she wants the same thing too.

I have a shower, noting as I do so that I have love markings all over my body. Seems I wasn't the only one who was more than a little needy last night. After I shower I scrounge together some lunch, making a mental note to buy some provisions soon.

I've never enjoyed shopping and have always had servants to do it for me. But in my quest to become more self-reliant, I've decided to do such tasks for myself. As I check out my groceries, I see a large basket of flowers near the counter. I smile and add it to my things. This is going to be a good day.

The senate building is full, as always, when I arrive an hour later. I know Padmé will be here- she's a workaholic after all. I check in at the security desk and then head upstairs. The lift is crowded, and people keep looking at me and the bouquet in my hands. I'm in too good a mood to let them bother me though, and simply watch as the numbers climb higher. Finally I reach the top floor and step out and head to the executive offices.

"May I help you sir?" Padmé's assistant asks as I reach her desk.

"I can go right in," I say, bending her mind easily.

"You can go right in," she says automatically.

I smile and walk into Padmé's office. She's standing at the window looking outside and doesn't turn around when I enter the room.

"Just put that report on my desk, Cillia," she says, thinking I'm her assistant.

I don't say anything but steal up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist from behind. She jumps and turns to see me.

"Surprise," I say, kissing her softly. "I brought you something," I add, holding up the flowers.

She looks at them with a smile and then up at me. "Thank you," she says. "What brings you by?" she asks, moving away from me. Her body language speaks volumes. She's regretting what happened between us, just as I knew she would be.

"Do I need a reason to come and see you?" I ask, watching her closely for her response.

"Well, actually I'm pretty busy," she says. I know her reason is a lame one, and a cover for the feelings she doesn't want to share.

"You don't seem happy to see me," I say. "Is something wrong?"

She stands with her back to me, and I can feel her tension as she prepares her response. "Well, now that you mention it," she says. "I'm afraid we've made a big mistake, Anakin. Last night was a big mistake."

I fold my arms over my chest, trying my best not to get angry. "A mistake?" I ask. "Is that all it meant to you?"

She turns back to me, and I can see the struggle in her eyes. "Last night was incredible," she tells me. "You know that. Every night with you is incredible; but we can't have a physical relationship, Anakin. Not now, not after everything that has happened. I can't invest that much of myself …."

"Invest? Am I a business partner?" I interject hotly. "You wanted me last night, Padmé," I remind her. "It was _you _who initiated the whole thing, not me," I add. "And now you're going to tell me that it was a _mistake?"_

"I'm sorry," she says. "It was a spontaneous reaction," she tells me. "I was weak, I admit it," she adds. "But it can't happen again. It would simply …complicate things too much."

I nod. "I see," I reply. "I didn't think making love was a complication,"

"That's not what I mean," she replies.

"Then what _did _you mean?" I ask, growing exasperated. "You _don't _ want me? You _don't _ need me? Does that about sum it up?"

"Anakin, please," she replies.

"Forget it," I say, throwing the bouquet on her desk. "I'm sorry I bothered you," I add and leave the office, cursing myself for daring to have hope.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I don't know what's bugging Dad, but he's been quiet and sullen all afternoon. I can't be sure, but I'd bet my last credit that his mood is directly related to Mom. Have they been fighting again? I thought those days were behind us now that Dad has turned away from the Dark Side.

"That should do it," he tells me as he stands up again. We've been installing the equipment in the simulation room, and Dad has spared no expense to make sure that it's the latest, state of the art technology. I can't wait to see it in action.

"You should think about getting home," Dad tells me, looking at his wrist-chrono. "It's pretty late. I'm sure your mother is holding dinner for you."

I nod. "Yeah probably," I say. I hesitate for moment before speaking, watching him adjust the controls of the newly installed system. "Dad, is there something wrong? You seem…down."  
He looks at me and then back down at the machine. "What makes you think that?" he asks.

"You're quiet," I tell him. "And tense," I add. "Is there something going on? Did you and Mom have a fight?"

He frowns, and looks at me briefly. I know at once that I'm right.

"Dad?"  
"Luke, I don't really want to talk about it," he tells me with a sigh. "Okay? Please don't press."

"Okay, I won't," I reply. He's more than just upset- he's hurt. What could have happened to make him feel this way? "I guess I should get going," I tell him.

He looks at me again and forces himself to smile. "Okay," he says. "Thanks for your help, Luke," he adds.

I smile. "Any time, Dad," I reply. "It's fun working here with you."

Dad's smile grows, and this time it's genuine. "It means a lot to hear you say that, son," he says.

"See you tomorrow," I say as I walk off.

"Goodnight Luke," he replies.

I arrive home a short time later and find my sister alone at the dinner table.

"Hi," I say to her, sitting down. "Where's Mom?"

"She went to bed already," Leia tells me. "Said she wasn't feeling well."

"That weird," I comment, helping myself to dinner. "Dad was not himself tonight either."

Leia's eyebrows lift. "Oh? How do you mean?"

I shrug. "Just off- tense, quiet…not at all how he's been since he got back," I explain. "I asked him about it, if he and Mom had been fighting."

"And what did he say?"

"He didn't want to talk about it," I tell her.

"Which means that's exactly what happened," Leia concludes.

"Yeah, I think so too," I reply. "This totally stinks."  
Leia nods, but her face is thoughtful.

"What?" I ask, knowing that look. "What's going on in your head?"  
She smiles. "I thought you could read my mind," she replies.

I roll my eyes. "Just tell me," I reply.

"Okay, we both know that our parents are still in love, right?" she asks. I nod, a mouthful of food preventing me from answering.

"So we need to do something to bring them together," she continues. "To make them realize that they're both miserable apart."

"And how do you propose we do that?" I ask.

"The way I figure, they won't be able to resist each other for long," Leia says. "All we need to do is make sure they see each other often," she continues. "And alone," she adds. "And let nature take its course."

I frown. "You really think it's that easy?" I ask. "Given their history?"

She shrugs. "You have a better idea?" she challenges.

"Nope," I admit.

"Then we'll go with mine," she replies, a smile on her face. "I predict that within a matter of months, our parents will be inseparable once again."

I nod. "I hope so," I reply. "I really hope so, Leia."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I'm miserable. Unable to eat, I can't sleep either. I feel like my insides are all tied up in knots. And I know why – I can't get the look of hurt in Anakin's eyes out of my mind. Yes, I know he's hurt me time and time again- but that was the old Anakin. That doesn't negate what he did, but it doesn't justify hurting him back either. And I have hurt him. Perhaps if he'd given me a chance to explain my point of view, to explain why being with him is impossible. I'm not sure he will accept or even understand my rationale, but I have to at least try.

Luke and Leia are still eating their dinner when I find them. They seem surprised to see me.

"Luke was your father still at the temple when you left?" I ask him.

Luke exchanges a quick glance with his sister. "Yeah, he was," he replies. "Why do you ask?"

"I need to see him, that's all," I tell them. "I'll be back shortly."

Night is falling when I leave the palace, but it's a clear night, so I don't mind. The temple is still busy when I arrive, with craftsmen and technicians everywhere. I'm amazed at how much as been accomplished in such a short time. In a matter of weeks this place has been transformed from a tragic ruin into a state of the art facility. Anakin's vision and tenacity are responsible I'm sure.

"Can you tell me where I could find Anakin Skywalker?" I ask one of the men working in the foyer.

"I can't say for sure, Milady," he replies. "Last I saw him he was in the simulation room. You might want to try there first."

"I will," I reply. "And thank you."

I don't know the building well, particularly with all the changes to it, but manage to find my way to the room suggested to me. Anakin is still there. He's testing the new equipment and making adjustments when I enter the room. His back is to me, but I see him stop and lift his head when I walk through the door, no doubt he's sensed my presence.

"I didn't think I'd be seeing you again today," he says, turning to me finally. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he's still upset.

"I'm sure," I reply. "But I had to talk to you."

Anakin frowns, and turns back to the controls of the simulator. "I can't imagine why," he says. "You've already said plenty."

I watch him for a moment, and then walk around so that I'm facing him. "Please," I say. "Just hear me out."

He looks up at me. "Very well," he says. He folds his arms over his chest and waits for me to speak.

"I know you're upset with me," I begin, stating the obvious. "And I know why."

He says nothing in response.

"First off, let me say that last night was incredible," I continue. "You have always been the most fantastic lover," I add.

He frowns. "So why regret what happened?" he asks.

"Let me finish," I say. "You will always be the only man that I've ever wanted, the only man I've ever loved," I tell him. "But I can't be with you, Anakin. I'm too afraid of being hurt again," I confess to him.

He remains silent, but in his eyes I see how upset he is.

"It's just too hard, Anakin," I add, my own emotions starting to get to me as I watch his eyes. "And if we are involved sexually, it would be impossible not to be emotionally involved," I explain.

"Of course," he says quietly. He looks away. "So bottom line- you don't trust me anymore," he says.

"I'm afraid not," I tell him. "Perhaps one day I will again- but right now, I can't."  
He nods. "I suppose that's not surprising," he comments. "Given all that I've done." He looks back at me. "Tell me what you want me to do," he says. "I'll do whatever you want."

His words surprise me, and underscore for me just how profoundly he has changed. "Just…don't pressure me," I tell him. "You know how vulnerable I am where you're concerned," I add. "Please don't put me in a position where I'm unable to resist you."  
He frowns. "Padmé, _you _seduced _me,_" he points out.

"I know," I reply. "It was a moment of weakness. I'm not blaming you for what happened," I assure him. "I just want to make sure it doesn't happen again."

He nods, but I can see in his eyes how much he hates this. "Very well," he says. "You have my word," he tells me. "I won't pressure you, I won't try to seduce you," he adds. "I will leave you alone except for the occasion when we need to communicate because of our children or our respective professions," he says. His words are cold, but what else can I expect?

"Thank you," I say, though the lump in my throat contradicts my words. "I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," he replies.

I leave him again, grateful that my tears held back until I walk away from him.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

So it's over – it's truly over. I'm not sure how to deal with this and must fight not to resort to violence. There is still a small part of me that wants to reach out and destroy everything I see. But I won't. I won't give in to this- I'm better than that now. Instead I will use the Force to calm down and keep control of my emotions. I sit down on the floor and close my eyes, using the meditation techniques that Obi-Wan taught me to draw upon the Force. I'm far better at meditation now than I was as a younger man, and it isn't long before I feel the soothing balm of the Force calming me. And then, amidst my meditation, I sense the presence of other force beings nearby. It must be Obi-Wan and Yoda I sense, finally. I open my eyes and stand up just as Obi-Wan enters the room.

"Welcome back," I say. "It's good to see you."

Obi-Wan smiles. "Rough couple of weeks?" he asks.

"You have no idea," I reply. I turn to Yoda as he enters the room, his gait far slower, his face far older than I remember. "It's good to see you again, Master Yoda," I say.

Yoda looks up at me, his ancient eyes studying my face as though he's trying to discern if the change in me is genuine. Perhaps that's what took Obi-Wan so long to get him back here- no doubt Yoda had trouble believing that Darth Vader could actually be redeemed.

"Good to see you, Anakin," he replies. "And quite unexpected," he adds.

I nod. "I'm sure it must be," I agree. "But I promise you, Master, that the Darkness is gone."

Yoda nods. "Know it, I do," he replies, his eyes softening. "Fulfilled the prophecy, you have."

I nod, and then look over as a third person enters the room. It's a woman, a Twi'lek, and she looks at me with undisguised distrust as she enters the room.

"Anakin, this is Jedi Knight Nomi H'darr," Obi-Wan informs me.

I bow in her direction. "Welcome," I say. "It's good to know we three are not the only Jedi left."

She lifts one black eyebrow. "It wasn't easy surviving all this time," she tells me. "I was only a padawan of six when the purges happened."

I nod, grateful that she didn't remind me of my part in those purges. "We're glad you're able to join us," I say. "I assume Obi-Wan has told you of our plans here."

"He has," Nomi replies. "I'm excited to be a part of it," she adds with a smile.

"The living quarters are finished," I tell her and the others. "I wanted to make sure things were ready for Master Yoda when he returned," I add.

"You've done remarkable work here, Anakin," Obi-Wan comments. "I don't recognize the place anymore."

I smile. "Well, I'm motivated," I reply. "Let me show you around," I say to them all.

I lead them out of the room and proceed to give them a tour. I can't help but notice how the workmen who are still finishing up their tasks for the day notice Nomi as we walk past. I suppose that isn't surprising- she's quite beautiful. Twil'ek women are known for their beauty, as well as other things. I guess these men know that.

"Retire, I will now," Yoda tells us as we conclude the tour. "A long voyage it has been."

I nod. "Of course," I reply. "Perhaps you'd all like to get settled in," I reply. "Unless you've changed your mind about staying with me," I say to Obi-Wan.

"No," Obi-Wan replies. "I thank you Anakin, but this is where I belong," he tells me. "Perhaps you ought to consider relocating yourself."

"Perhaps," I reply. I'm not sure how much I'd like living here though- too many ghosts here for my liking. "I'll bring your things over when I return in the morning," I tell Obi-Wan.

"Thank you," he replies. "Good night then, Anakin," he says.

"Goodnight," I reply, and watch as the three of them leave me to head for the living quarters. Truth be told, I'm disappointed that Obi-Wan has chosen to live here. I have come to rely on his advice and companionship. But I suppose this was his home for many years- I can't blame him for wanting to return to it now.

I leave the temple and head home, reflecting on the day's events. And end and a new beginning all in the same day. It is my hope that rebuilding the Jedi will help me to cope with the losses I've experienced in my life. It is something I must do, and I will dedicate the rest of my life to it if I must. Besides, if I'm at the temple involved with this, the chances of seeing Padmé are slim. That is how it will have to be if I'm to keep my word to her. And I will keep it- I've already hurt her enough. If this is what she wants, then I will do my damnest to make sure I keep my promise, no matter how hard it is to do so.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 58 _Voice of Leia Skywalker _

Mom has thrown herself completely into her work over the past couple of weeks. Ever since she went to talk to Dad at the temple that night, she hasn't been herself. She won't talk about it, and according to Luke, neither will Dad. Somehow we have to bring them together, for they've been doing an excellent job of avoiding each other recently. Luke and I have vowed to do whatever it takes to reunite our parents- we just need to figure out how to do that. It's not easy when they are never together. Dad's completely immersed in the Jedi stuff- the temple is just about finished now, and he's been working with Master Kenobi and Master Yoda to recruit new Jedi. In fact, Dad has spent some time off world to find force sensitive beings.

I haven't been to the temple recently, so I haven't seen the woman that Luke has told me about. According to him, she's _gorgeous_. I think he just thinks so because she's a twil'ek. I wonder what Mom would think of her….I smile as an idea starts to form in my mind. That's it…that's the key.

"What are you smiling about?" Luke asks me as he joins me at the breakfast table.

"I just had an idea," I tell him. "A way to get Mom and Dad back together."

Luke's eyes grow wide. "Get out," he says.

"No, really," I say. "Listen…"

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I'm not sure I have time for breakfast this morning I reflect as I glance at my wrist chrono. I never seem to have time for myself anymore. Perhaps that's deliberate- less time to myself means less time to examine certain facets of my life too closely. I know the old adage- all work and no play – but for me, work is a life line right now.

"Luke, you're exaggerating," I hear Leia say as I approach the breakfast room. "She can't be _that _beautiful."

"She is, Leia," I hear Luke respond. "She's drop dead gorgeous," he adds.

"Who are you two arguing about?" I ask, walking into the room.

The twins look at each other, and then at me.

"Oh, nothing Mom," Luke says, returning his attention to his breakfast.

I frown. "Nothing?" I ask. "Sounds like something or someone has your attention," I say. "Who is it? Someone at school?" I ask with a smile. Luke has a crush on someone!

"No, not at school," Leia tells me. "She's at the temple," she informs me. "She's the new Jedi that Obi-Wan brought back with him."

This is news to me. I knew that Obi-Wan had found a renegade Jedi- but I had no idea that Jedi was a woman.

"Oh?" I ask, trying to remain nonchalant. "Beautiful, is she?"  
"Yeah, she is Mom," Luke tells me. "She was just a kid when the purges took place."

So that means she's young too…

"I see," I reply. "Well, the more they have rebuilding, the better," I say diplomatically. I look at my wrist chrono. "I need to go," I tell them. "Have a great day, both of you."

"Bye Mom," my children say in unison.

I leave them, suddenly in a more irritated mood than I was mere moments ago.

I arrive at the senate office, and my assistant is already waiting for me. There aren't enough hours in the day any more it seems.

"Good morning Milady," she says. "I have the details for the fund raiser ready for your final approval," she says, handing me a data pad.

"Has Chancellor Organa seen this?" I ask, taking the device from her.

"Yes M'am," she replies. "He's already signed it."

"Very well," I say, walking into my office. One of the many new initiatives we have been working on is social justice. Under the Empire, the down trodden and the poor were exploited shamelessly- not only here on the capital but all over the Empire. I have decided to make amends for that through a series of fund raisers designed to raise money that will all go into programming for the galaxy's many poor. It's not going to be easy, but we have to start somewhere. The first of these events is tomorrow night- a ballet at the huge theatre here on Coruscant. Bail and I are planning on attending together- I just hope he doesn't get the wrong idea. This is a professional function, not a social function. Surely I've made it clear enough to him by now.

I read over the document and then sign it. It looks perfect. I set it aside and start in on the rest of my day's work. But my mind doesn't stay where it needs to be, and reflects back on the conversation I overheard this morning. Am I jealous? Is that why I'm irritated and distracted now? A beautiful, young, force sensitive being has now taken up residence at the Jedi temple. Why should I feel jealous?

"Good morning Padmé," Bail says as he enters my office.

"Morning," I say, not looking up.

"Everything all right?" he asks me.

I look up at him. "Yes, fine," I reply. "Just…busy."

He nods. "Are you as excited about tomorrow as I am?" he asks.

"Excited?" I ask. "More like stressed," I tell him.

He laughs. "Everything will be fine," he assures me. "More than fine- perfect," he adds. "Don't worry."

I sigh. "I hope so," I tell him. "There's so much riding on this project."

Bail nods. "I know," he replies. "We have a full house, Padmé," he tells me. "A lot of money will be coming in. Why even the Jedi are sending representatives."

"Well, they're a part of this rebuilding too," I remind him. "They need to be in the spotlight as much as we do."

"I suppose so," he replies. "I have to hand it to Anakin," he says, surprising me. "He's done remarkable work with that temple."

"You've been there recently?" I ask him.

"Yes, when I learned that Yoda had returned, I wanted to go and pay my respects," he tells me. "The place looks fantastic."  
I nod. "So Luke tells me," I reply. I hesitate before continuing. "Did you happen to meet the newest addition to the Order?" I ask him, trying to sound casual.

"Yes I met her," he tells me. "She's quite something," he adds with a smile.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, she's a twil'ek," he tells me. "You know how….well maybe you _don't _know," he remarks with a smirk.

"Know what?" I ask.

"Well, they have a reputation," he explains. "Twil'ek women," he adds. "Very passionate, very …sensual."

"I see," I reply, looking back down at my work. "Well she's a Jedi," I remind him. "I hardly think she's typical of her race."

"Perhaps not," he replies. "She's certainly as beautiful as her race are reputed to me, though," he adds. "Wow."  
I frown. "Bail, I have work to do," I tell him. "Go and drool elsewhere."

He chuckles, and then leaves me in a fouler mood than he found me in.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

"Me? Why me?" I ask. "You know how I hate that long haired stuff."

Obi-Wan smiles indulgently. "Anakin, like it or not, you are the most recognizable member of this new Order," he tells me. "It makes sense for you to go. Besides, Master Yoda would just fall asleep," he adds.

"So would you," I point out.

He laughs. "Yes, that's why I'm not going," he replies. "Nomi is going with you."

I nod. I've had very little to do with our new colleague since she joined us two weeks ago. She's very young- and pretty inexperienced as far as I can tell. But she's a Jedi, so I suppose she'll be an asset to us.

"She's rather happy about it, actually," Obi-Wan tells me.

"I'm glad one of us is," I remark.

"Come now, Anakin," he says. "You could do far worse than spending the evening with her," he remarks. "She's charming."

I frown. "I hadn't noticed," I reply, and stand up. "Come on," I say. "We've got work to do, old man."

I head home later, alone. I haven't seen Padmé since the night she came to the temple. And while I know that's for the best, I find myself missing her. I can't help but think about that incredible night we shared here as soon as I walk in the door. Maybe I should live at the temple- this place has ghosts too.

I really don't want to go to this ballet tomorrow night. I've never liked that kind of thing and I know it will be excruciating. But more than that- Padmé will be there. And more than likely, she'll be with Organa. They're not a couple- I know that; but as co-chancellors they'll be together as the hosts of this affair. I hate the thought of seeing her with another man, and I'm not sure how I can hide that tomorrow. Hopefully our seats will be far enough apart that I can avoid her. That's the only way I'll get through the evening.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

"Mom, you look _gorgeous!"_ I declare. I've just finished helping her with her hair, and stand back to take a look. "Wow!"

Mom smiles. "Thank you," she says, standing up. "I guess it's time to go."

I can't help but notice how unenthusiastic Mom is. I guess the thought of spending the evening with Bail Organa isn't exactly exciting to her.

"You'll have a great time, Mom," I assure her. "You _love _the ballet."

"Yes I do," she replies, picking up her handbag. She smiles, and I know it's her diplomatic, pretend smile. "I'm just nervous is all," she says, patting my cheek gently. "Don't you worry."

I nod. "I guess Dad will be there too," I tell her. She looks at me quickly. I hate jerking her around this way, but it's for a good cause.

"Is he?" she asks casually. "With Obi-Wan?"

"No, with Nomi," I tell her.

"Oh," she replies. She looks back at her reflection, and pats her hair. "Well perhaps I'll finally get to meet her then," she says. "I've heard enough about her," she adds.

"Probably," I tell her. "You can't miss her," I tell her. "She's pretty striking looking."

Mom frowns, and says nothing in response. So far our plan is working like a charm.

"Have a good time," I tell her, giving her a hug.

"Thanks sweetheart," she replies. "I'll see you later."

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker_

My companion for the evening is wearing some sort of perfume that keeps making me sneeze. Not a great start to what's sure to be a long and painful evening. I have to be careful though- Nomi is force sensitive after all.

"I've never been to the theatre here," she tells me as we start up the long staircase into the building. "I remember always admiring this building as a child, though," she adds.

"I've been here a few times," I tell her. "It's pretty spectacular."

"Cool," she replies. I frown. Cool? That's something my eighteen year old daughter would say. But I suppose she's not much older than Leia is. If she was six when the purges occurred, that makes her twenty-four now. Not much more than a youngling.

The foyer is crowded with well dressed people, all standing around talking in groups. I can sense the surprise of many to see me here. I'm getting used to that. There are also a lot of men giving Nomi a great deal of attention. I guess that's not surprising – she's beautiful, and the dress she's wearing leaves little to the imagination.

"Shall we find our seats?" she asks. "The curtain goes up in ten minutes."

"Sure," I say, more than happy to disappear into the darkened theatre. "Let's go."

Our seats are excellent; they should be, I paid a great deal for them. The money is going to a good cause, so I don't mind. I admire Padmé for her efforts to help those in need- she's always been a champion of the underprivileged. I haven't seen her yet, and that's fine with me. The last thing I need tonight is a reminder of what I've lost.

The ballet begins, and, as I feared, is painful to sit through. I find myself restless, and shift around in my chair.

Nomi looks at me questioningly. "Everything okay?" she whispers, her perfume surrounding me as she leans close. I sneeze again. "Yeah, fine," I say with a sniff.

I wish I could learn to appreciate this art form; but to me the sight of men in tights prancing about is just too ridiculous to take seriously. I lean back in the chair, trying really hard not to fall asleep. Is the intermission _ever _coming?

And then, finally, mercifully, the audience starts to applaud. I join in, not really knowing what's happened, and then sigh with relief as the lights go up.

"Thank the Maker," I mutter as we stand up.

Nomi smiles at me. "You hate this stuff, don't you?" she asks.

I look at her for a moment. "Am I that obvious?" I ask.

"Afraid so," she replies with a laugh.

I laugh too. "Come on," I say offering her my arm. "Let's go get a drink. You _are _old enough to drink, aren't you?" I ask her.

She laughs again. "Yes Master Skywalker, I am."

"Good," I reply. "I hate drinking alone."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 59 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

It's good to get away from Bail, even if it's just for twenty minutes. The box we are seated in is just a little too intimate for my liking.

The foyer is crowded as the hundreds of theatre patrons flood to the bars for refreshment. So far things are going very well. The ballet is excellent, and the audience seems to be having a good time.

"Thank you," I say to Bail as he hands me a glass of wine.

"You're welcome," he replies. He takes a sip of his own drink as he looks around. "Full house," he comments. "This is fantastic."

I nod, looking around as well. Everyone seems happy, which means this is a success. And that means we can do it again. I'm amazed at how much money we made on this evening- it will go a long way to help the indigent and poor. _Oh no…_ I stop as I spot Anakin standing across the room. He looks so handsome in his formal black robes, his hair tied back neatly behind his head. I've missed him so much! He is smiling, so I guess he's having a good time. I look at the woman he's with, frowning with dismay when I see how beautiful she is. So the rumours are true…Her dress is tight and revealing- her midriff is bare as well as her arms. I suppose that's not surprising- twil'ek females are known for this. And yet, it bothers me. It bothers me that Anakin is with her, that he's laughing at her jokes, that she's touching his arm. I can't help but be jealous. Suddenly I don't want to be here anymore. I'm miserable and I want to go home.

"Everything all right, Padmé?"

I turn to Bail and force myself to smile. "Yes, of course," I tell him.

He frowns. "You just had the oddest expression on your face," he tells me. "Like you were…angry all of a sudden."

"Now why would I be angry?" I ask, taking a sip of my wine. "I'm having a wonderful time."

I'm not sure he believes me, but says nothing more. "Well if you're okay, I'm going to go have a visit with Mon Mothma," he tells me.

"Yes, go ahead," I tell him. He leaves and I take the opportunity to go to the fresher. Anything to get away.

Of course there are a lot of women with the same idea as me. Luckily I know of a private wing, and luckily I have the security code for it. I head down a hall way to a secure door. Keying in the code, the door slides open and I enter the small living area. It's quiet in here, and I'm grateful for that.

I remember in the past how Anakin and I would slip away here, unable to sit together, unable to be seen together in public. We had to be very creative, always looking for a way to steal a few moments together. But those days are gone forever now- and the sooner I learn to accept it, the better.

I use the fresher, and as I'm washing my hands, I hear someone outside in the living area. _Great_, I think. I didn't think anyone else still had the security code for this suite. I guess I was wrong.

I enter the living area, and am astonished to see Anakin standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," he replies.

"I…I just wanted to get away from the crowds," I tell him.

He nods. "Same here," he replies.

I can feel my heart pounding inside of me as we stand and stare at each other. He looks so handsome I have to keep a tight hold of my impulses. It was be so easy to give in to my need for him right now.

"Where your date?" I ask him.

"My _date_?" he asks. "She's not my date. We're just…here together."

"Sounds like a date to me," I reply.

"Is that a problem?" he challenges. "You don't want me any more."

"I never said that," I reply. "In fact, I think I told you that you were the only man I've ever wanted," I remind him.

He nods. "You did," he replies. His eyes move over me slowly. "You look beautiful tonight," he tells me. "Spectacular in fact."

"Thank you," I reply. "So do you," I add.

"Thank you," he replies. A few moments of heavy silence pass, and then, before I know what's happening, I'm in his arms. We're kissing, our hands pushing and pulling at one another's clothes. All rational thought is gone, all that remains is the undeniable need we have for the other.

"I've missed you so much," Anakin breathes against my ear, his hands reaching around behind me to unclasp my bra.

"I've been miserable without you," I counter, fumbling with the buttons of his fly.

"How much time do we have?" he asks, running his hands down my arms.

"Fifteen minutes," I say.

"Plenty of time," he says, and pulls me to him to kiss me again. We step out of our discarded garments and move to the sofa. We have limited time, so the sense of urgency is heightened. That's something we're used to- and we've never had trouble making the most of our short time together.

_A short time later… _

"That was amazing," he murmurs against my ear.

I smile. It was amazing.

"It was," I say, turning in his arms. "Incredible," I add, and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me again. Our kiss is more tender this time, less rushed. Anakin picks me up, his arms wrapped around me tightly.

"I can't get enough of you," he murmurs against my ear.

I simply nod in response, his power over me undeniable and inescapable.

"We're going to miss the start of the second act," he tells me with a smile. "I hope you don't mind."

I shake my head. "I don't mind," I assure him. He nods, and then brings his mouth to mine. I'm totally helpless to resist him. He has always had this effect on me- and I know he always will. I just can't seem to resist this man. Am I foolish to even try?

I return to the chancellor's box a little later. I'm grateful for the dark, for I know that my face right now would betray me. I've managed to put my clothing and hair back in order- I'm grateful that Anakin was thoughtful enough not to tear them this time - but my body is still tingling all over and I'm sure it shows in my eyes.

"Where have you _been?" _ Bail hisses at me, giving me a stern look. "You've already missed twenty minutes!"  
"Sorry," I say, not giving him an explanation. I can feel him staring at me, but I ignore him and simply watch the ballet on the stage below.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

"Everything all right?" Nomi asks as I join her finally.

"Yes," I reply. "Sorry- I got talking to someone," I tell her. It's not a lie- there was _some _talking.

"You missed the most incredible duet," she tells me, and then proceeds to describe it to me. I nod as though interested, though really I'm anything but. No doubt Padmé will regret what happened here tonight- but it's not like either of us planned this. I certainly didn't set out to seduce her- nor her me for that matter. It's like a chemical reaction when we're together- neither of us able to resist the other.

Remembering that my companion is force sensitive, I force myself to stop thinking about Padmé and focus on the nonsense that's happening on the stage in front of me.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Leia's driving me crazy, she truly is. I don't think she's sat still for more than ten minutes since Mom left for the ballet. We've been trying to do our homework, and yet every time she hears a sound from outside the den she looks over to the doorway, expecting to see Mom walk through the door.

"Leia, would you cool it already?" I say finally. "I'm trying to study!"

She frowns and sits down. "Sorry," she replies. " I'm just…anxious."

"Yeah no kidding," I mutter. "Mom will be home when the ballet is done," I remind her. "And not a minute sooner. You jumping up every ten seconds isn't going to make the time go any faster."

"I _know _that," she retorts angrily. She sighs. "I guess I'm just hopeful that Mom and Dad got to see each other tonight," she tells me. "And that on some level they connected."

I'm hoping the same thing, actually. But I haven't said so. I'm not as much of an optimist where my parents are concerned as Leia is.

"If anything is going to happen, it has to be up to them," I tell her. "Us pushing them together isn't going to accomplish anything."

"You don't know that," she replies. "Haven't you noticed that they've been avoiding each other lately?" she asks.

"So?"

"So people only do that if they either hate each other, which we both know they don't," she explains. "Or if they can't resist each other."

"Leia, come on," I say. "You've been reading too many romance holos," I tell her. "Get a grip on reality."

Leia simply frowns in response, and returns to her studying.

Mom arrives home an hour or so later, and goes straight upstairs. Even though we don't see her, both Leia and I can sense her emotions. She's a mess. Something obviously _did _happen at the ballet. Mom's never this emotional unless Dad is involved. What it is that actually happened I don't know. But I have to admit something- Leia was right. I _hate _it when she's right.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I have a long shower before bed, noticing as I get undressed that my panties are inside out. What is happening to me? Why can't I control myself any more? I feel like a brazen hussy, throwing myself into Anakin's arms at the smallest amount of encouragement.

As I get ready for bed, a debate rages on in my mind. What do I do now? I can't let this continue. I'm far too embarrassed to go talk to him; I don't trust myself around him even if I weren't. Do I send him a message? He already knows how I feel, but after what happened tonight perhaps I need to tell him again, to assure him that I feel the same way. Does that make me a hypocrite? I'm so confused…but who do I go to for guidance? Who can I confide in? there's no one, I'm on my own here.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 60 _ Voice of Anakin Skywalker_

It's early when I arrive at the temple. The morning is dreary and raining, just the kind of day I hate. I haven't heard from Padmé since last night- though I expect that I will today some time. I know she must have serious regrets, again, about what happened between us. I can't say the same, however. Every minute we're together is precious to me, and I'd be lying to say that I regretted making love to her again. And again. The only thing that bothers me is how I know she's feeling about it. She made it very clear that she can't handle the emotional component that our trysts are never without. I don't want to hurt her- I've hurt her so much that I'm astonished she has anything to do with me at all. But it seems that she's as helpless to resist me as I am to resist her. I didn't do anything to encourage what happened last night- neither did she. It just ….happened. Is this what our relationship has come to? Chance meetings that end up in mind-blowing sex? As much as I enjoy the sex, I know that she can't separate the sex from the emotion that comes with it.

Obi-Wan and Yoda are having breakfast when I arrive. I join them, helping myself to some juice.

"So did you have a pleasant evening last night?" Obi-Wan asks me.

I nod as I take a drink. I must be very careful of my thoughts and feelings; Obi-Wan can read me quite well.

"It was far more enjoyable than I thought it would be," I reply.

Yoda nods thoughtfully. "Good it is that you went, Anakin," he says. "Positive image you project for the Jedi."

"I suppose so," I reply, wondering how the image would fare if it was known how I'd spent the intermission. "I guess with so few of us we have to make sure we're in the public eye a lot."

Obi-Wan nods in agreement. "I hope we can count young Luke and Leia as one of us," he comments.

"They are both quite enthusiastic about continuing their training," I tell them. "They will make excellent Jedi, both of them."

"Change things, we must," Yoda states.

"What things do you mean, Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan asks.

"Families are important," Yoda says, looking at me. "Important it is for Jedi to have children now," he adds. "Repopulate the order you must."

I smile. "I've done what I can," I remark.

Obi-Wan smiles. "Yes, but you're still a young man, Anakin," he points out.

I frown. "Yes, so?"

"More children you must have," Yoda says.

"Do either of you remember that I'm _divorced_ now?" I ask, hating the sound of the word.

"Yes, we are aware of that," Obi-Wan replies.

"Other women there are, Anakin," Yoda states. "Repopulate the Order we must."

I don't like the sound of this, but am prevented from saying more by the entrance of Nomi into the room.

"Good morning," she says with a smile. "Thank you once again for last night, Anakin," she says, sitting across from me. "I had a wonderful time."  
Yoda looks at Obi-Wan, and then at me, a smile on his face. I know what he's thinking.

"No problem," I say, and finish my juice.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

"Good morning Mom," I say as I enter the breakfast room. Mom looks up at me with a smile.

"Good morning sweetheart," she says as I kiss her on the cheek.

"I didn't hear you get in last night," I lie as I sit down across from her. "Did you have a good time?" I ask her, watching her closely for her reaction.

"Yes, the ballet was lovely," she replies, not looking up at me. "We had a wonderful turn out," she adds.

"Great," I reply. "So you made lots of money for your charity," I comment.

"Yes, a great deal," she replies. "I think we'll do a lot of events like that seeing how successful it was."

I nod as I take a bite of my toast. "Was Dad there?" I ask.

She looks up at me briefly. "Yes he was," she replies. I can sense the change in her just at the mention of his name.

"Was Obi-Wan with him?" I ask.

Mom frowns, ever so slightly. "No he wasn't," she replies.

"He was alone?" I ask. I know I'm annoying her, but if I'm ever going to get her to admit her love for Dad, I have no choice but to press.

"No, he had that new Jedi with him," she tells me. "The twil'ek."

"You mean Nomi?" I ask.

Mom looks at me quickly. "How do you know her?"

I shrug. "I don't really," I tell her. "But I've met her a couple of times at the temple. She's so beautiful," I add with a smile.

Mom lifts her eyebrows. Her jealousy is _so _obvious. "I suppose she is, yes," she replies.

I smile as Mom focuses on her meal. I do the same, as I ponder a way to up the ante.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

It's hard to believe that the temple is almost finished. It seems like such a short time ago that we were gutting the place. But, thanks to Dad's persistence and hard work, it's all but finished. There are a couple of rooms in the oldest wing in the lower level that are still not complete, but I'm sure they will be soon. Dad has told us not to go down there- I guess it's dangerous. I don't know how or why- but he's reminded us a million times to keep out.

"You've been practicing," Dad tells me as we finish up our sparring match. We've been spending most evenings this way, except of course for last night when Dad was at the fund raiser.

"Yeah I have," I reply. "Do you see progress?" I ask hopefully.

"Definitely," he tells me. "You're very gifted, Luke," he tells me with a smile. "A natural."

I smile, pleased by his praise. "Well, I'm your son," I tell him. "Some of your talents were bound to be in me somewhere," I add.

He smiles. "Plenty of them," I tells me, with a pat on my shoulder. "I wish Leia would come more often," he tells me. "You two are vital to the resurgence of the Order."

"She's kind of into politics too," I tell him. "But I know she wants to be a Jedi," I add. "She figures she can do both."

Dad nods. "Being a Jedi takes a full commitment," he says. "She _can't_ do both."

"Tell her that," I reply.

Dad frowns. "I need Leia to commit to her apprenticeship," "he tells me. "Yoda said just yesterday that we need to repopulate the order," he adds. "And he's right."

"Repopulate?" I ask. "You mean find more force sensitives?"

"Yes, partly," he tells me. "Yoda thinks that I need to have more children, Luke."  
I'm sure my eyes must be huge. "What?" I reply. "Is he _serious?" _The thought of more kids is somehow…disturbing, particularly since my parents are no longer married. "He thinks you should and Mom should get married again?" I ask hopefully.

"Not necessarily," he replies. And then I get it- Yoda wants my Dad just to have kids so that there can be more Jedi, and I guess it doesn't matter who with. That's just….wrong.

"How do you feel about that?" I ask him.

Dad doesn't say anything for a long time as he replaces our practice sabres on the rack. "I'm not sure how I feel, Luke," he tells me finally. "I would love to have more children, but your mother is the only woman I'll ever want. She's the only woman I'd want to be the mother of my children." He turns and looks at me. "I don't want to be just …breeding stock," he adds.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I reply, the very idea shocking me. I can only imagine how Mom would feel about it. "Did you tell them that?" I ask.

Dad frowns. "Not in so many words," he replies. "But I will if the issue comes up again. I know I have a lot to atone for, but I don't think that gives Yoda the right to tell me I need toprocreate."

I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now, and I guess Dad senses it, because he changes the subject. "Tell me about this trip your school is planning," he tells me, putting an arm around my shoulders. "And if there are any cute girls coming with you," he adds with a grin.

I laugh and walk out of the gym with him, telling him all about it.

I arrive at home in time for dinner, which is cool because I'm starving. Mom isn't home- working late I guess, so it's just me and Leia.

"Han didn't come over for dinner?" I ask her as I sit down across from her.

"No," she replies. Her voice tells me that she's upset about something.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Leia glances up at me, a frown on her brow. "Nothing," she replies.

"I know you better than to believe that," I reply. "What is it? Just tell me."  
Leia sighs loudly. "Han is on a date," she tells me.

Ah…so that's what's bugging her. "So?" I ask, picking up my fork.

I know she's giving me a really dirty look, but I'd bet anything she won't admit why she's upset. Like I don't know.

"Han's a cool guy," I tell her. "Why shouldn't he go out on a date?"

"I _know _he's a cool guy, Luke," she snaps. "That's the whole point."  
I look up at her and smile. "Leia, it's just a date," I tell her. "You're his destiny, don't you know that?"

Leia's face shows her surprise, and her frown disappears as her eyebrows lift quizzically. "Are you just teasing me?" she asks. "Because it's not funny," she adds.

"I'm not teasing you," I assure her. I've had a feeling for a long time about her and Han, but haven't said anything because she's never admitted to me how she feels about him. "Don't you believe that people are destined for other people?"  
She nods.

"Well, I think you are destined for Han, and him for you," I tell her. "So don't get all bent out of shape because he's on a date. It's not a big deal. Han isn't even really that interested," I continue. "The girl asked him out, and he was too nice to say no."  
Leia's face lights up. "Really?"  
I smile. "Would I lie to you?" I ask.

She shakes her head as her smile grows.

"Then don't worry about it," I tell her.

"I won't," she replies. "Thanks Luke," she adds. "You're not such a nerf herder after all," she adds with a grin.

I laugh. "Thanks," I say. I hesitate before telling Leia about what Dad told me earlier, but I want to talk about it with someone. Mom would just get upset if she knew.

"I was talking to Dad earlier," I tell her.

"How is he?" she asks. "I haven't seen him in almost a week."  
"Yeah, he wants you to come more often to the temple," I tell her. "He's worried you're not committed to becoming a Jedi."

She frowns. "I'm totally committed," she replies. "Why does he think that?"

I shrug. "You'd have to ask him that," I tell her. "He told me something, Leia," I tell her. "Something really disturbing."

She frowns. "What?" she asks.

"Master Yoda told him that he needs to have more children to _repopulate _the Jedi Order," I tell her.

Leia's frown deepens. "_What?" _she cries. "Is he _serious?"_

I nod. "Yeah I think so," I tell her. "The Order _does _need more members," I continue. "But it shouldn't all be on Dad to provide them."

"Mom would _freak _if she knew about this," Leia says.

"If I knew about what?"

Both Leia and I turn quickly to see our mother standing in the doorway.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Judging by the look on my children's faces, they have been talking about something rather intense. And they didn't want me to know- it would 'freak me out'. I'm not sure I want to be freaked out.

"What are you talking about?" I ask as I walk into the room.

Luke and Leia look at each other, and I know they're talking to each other silently. It's remarkable that they can do that- but also annoying at times such as this.

"Tell me," I add, sitting down. "I'm waiting."

"Well," Luke begins, "it's about Dad," he tells me. This doesn't surprise me.

"What about him?" I ask.

"You're not going to like this, Mom," Leia warns me.

"So I've gathered," I remark. "But tell me anyway."

The children exchange another look and then look back at me.

"Master Yoda was talking about how they need to repopulate the Jedi Order," Luke tells me. "Since there's so few Jedi around."

"That makes sense," I say. "So how does this involve your father?"

"He wants Dad to have more children," Leia tells me. "Children that will be Jedi."

I am too shocked to say anything for a moment, shocked and upset. I can't bring myself to think of Anakin with another woman- just seeing him at the ballet with one was difficult enough. But him having children with someone else?

"I suppose Yoda is simply trying to find a quick way to gain more recruits for the new order," I comment finally. I know my children can sense my emotions, which are impossible to deny right now. But I can't let them see how this news breaks my heart- I have to keep in mind that it must be upsetting to them too.

"Yeah, he is," Luke says finally. "But I think it's pretty pushy of Yoda to tell Dad that," he adds.

I nod. "Well, Yoda has no idea of the emotional commitment involved in having children," I say.

"Poor Dad," Leia comments. "He wants so badly to make up for the past- but this is too much to ask."

I couldn't agree more. "So tell me about your trip," I say, needing desperately to change the subject before I lose control of my emotions. "It's coming up soon."

"Less than a week," Leia replies with a smile. "I can't wait to see all those amazing places we've been learning about in history class."  
"You've been to some of them, haven't you?" Luke asks me.

"Yes," I reply. "Though not all of them," I add. "I've never been to Kamino."

"It's gonna be great," Luke comments with a smile.

I nod, not sure I agree. My children have become my life line over the past year- they'll be gone for three weeks. It will be a very long three weeks for me. But I can't tell them this- I can't crush their excitement and enthusiasm.

"I just know you'll have a great time," I tell them with a smile.

It's very late before I fall asleep. Luke and Leia's news has been eating away at me all evening. And yet, how can I possibly express my feelings without sounding like a complete hypocrite? I'm unwilling to risk an emotional commitment to Anakin, but I'm embittered by the thought of him emotionally involved with anyone else.

_The anniversary of the New Republic is being celebrated in grand style. It's hard to believe that it's been ten years already. So many changes, so many triumphs- the time has flown by. It's a huge party, and everyone I know is here. I see Bail, with his new wife. I know at one time he wanted me to be his wife, but that never happened. I have never remarried, unlike Anakin. I see him now across the room with his new family. His wife, Nomi, is talking to their three children. All three of them are padawans, and gorgeous. They have their mother's blue skin and their father's blue eyes. Luke and Leia are married and have children of their own now- I'm a grandmother. But I'm alone. As I watch Anakin with his young children, I feel an ache in my heart that I know will never go away, no matter how long I live…_

I wake up with a start, no doubt shaken to wakefulness by the strength of my emotions. I sit up, my whole body shaking. Unable to hold back, I drop my face into my hands and cry.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 61 _Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

Traffic, I hate it. It always seems to be heaviest when I'm in a hurry. And I am right now- Luke and Leia are leaving for their history trip today and I want to be there to see them off. Trouble is, I have terrible insomnia, and only fell asleep at 0300. And then I slept through the alarm. If it wasn't for Obi-Wan contacting me I would have slept until noon. I just hope I'm not too late.

Padmé is standing with our children at the check in desk when I arrive. I take a moment to run my hands through my messy hair before I approach them. I didn't even get to shave- I'm sure I look like a mess. Oh well, better that than miss saying goodbye to my kids for three weeks.

"Dad!" Leia says with a smile as I finally reach them. "You made it!" she adds, giving me a warm hug.

"Of course I made it," I reply, hugging her back. "As if I wouldn't be here to send you off."

Padmé watches me, I can feel it, her emotions carefully guarded as usual.

"Rough night, Dad?" Luke jokes with a grin.

"Well, no more than usual," I say, rubbing my stubbly chin.

Luke frowns. "Still can't sleep?" he asks.

"Nope," I reply. "I'm getting used to it though," I add with a wry smile.

"Why can't you sleep?" Padmé asks.

I turn to her. "Not sure," I lie. I'm sure she must have some idea. I'm sure she must know that she's a fever in my blood, and that I lie awake at night thinking of her. But she would never admit it, at least not with the twins here.

"Would you like us to bring you back a souvenir, Dad?" Leia asks. I smile at her.

"Dad's been to every place we're going to, Leia," Luke reminds her. "Haven't you Dad?"  
"I think so," I reply. "Though not for some time now," I add. "I'm sure things will be quite different."

"Well, Kamino is bound to be different now," Padmé comments. "It's pretty much a museum now, after all."

I nod in agreement. Since she and Organa put a stop to the production of clones a year ago the facility has been abandoned but not scrapped. No doubt it will be rather eerie there.

"Just come back safe and sound," I tell Leia finally. "That's all I need."

Leia smiles. "We can do that," she says.

"And contact me as often as you can," I add.

"We will," Luke says. "Both of you," he adds, looking at his mother.

"Good," Padmé says. "It will be so quiet at home," she adds.

Welcome to my world, I reflect.

"Well it's time to board," Luke says, looking up at the screen above the check in desk. He gives his mother a hug as Leia embraces me.

"Be good," I tell them both. "Be safe."  
"We will, Dad," Luke assures me. "Try to get some sleep," he adds.

"I'll do my best," I tell him. I stand with Padmé as the twins enter the security doors and then disappear down the long corridor leading them to the transport. I can feel how unhappy Padmé is to see them go. I feel the same way.

"They'll be fine," I tell her once they've disappeared. "They're well chaperoned after all," I add.

Padmé nods. "I know," she replies. "I'll just miss them," she adds.

"So will I," I reply. I hesitate for a moment, and then decide to take a chance. "Have you had breakfast yet?" I ask her.

She looks up at me. "No, I couldn't eat earlier," she tells me.

"Want to get some now?" I ask her, hoping she won't shoot me down.

"That sounds nice," she replies. "I _ am _a little hungry," she admits.

"Well I'm a lot hungry," I tell her with a smile. "Let's go."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I'm not sure taking Anakin up on his invitation is such a good idea, but I haven't got the will power to say no to him. Avoiding him makes it easy – but I can't always do that, not when we have children together.

We meet up at a café that we used to go to together a lot. It's not too crowded, but I know that people are looking at us none the less. I suppose we're both rather famous now. No doubt the gossip columnists will have a field day seeing us together. I've decided, however, that I don't care what they say anymore. Anakin is the father of my children, after all.

"The kids seem pretty excited about their trip," Anakin comments to me as we wait for the serving droid to bring us our meals.

"They are," I tell him. "It's all they've talked about for weeks."

He smiles, and I feel my knees grow week. I can't help but think about the dream I had about him, the one where he was married to Nomi. And then I recall what the children told me. He is watching me, so I quickly hide my feelings. Anakin knows me too well, and would know that something was bothering me. I'm not prepared to have that conversation with him.

"I was glad to see Leia at the temple more recently," he says. "She has far too much ability to let it go to waste."

I nod. "She wants to be a Jedi very much," I tell him.

"That's good," he replies. "We need her with us if we're going to try and rebuild the Order."

"Yes, no doubt," I reply. "How has the recruiting been going?"

"Slowly," he tells me with a frown. "I'm reaping what I sow now, I suppose," he adds, looking down at his hands folded on the table.

"What do you mean?"

He looks up at me, and I see in his eyes that look I've seen many times in the past few weeks: guilt.

"I mean I spent sixteen years hunting down and killing Jedi," he tells me. "Now there's none to be found thanks to my cold-blooded tenacity."

I nod, wishing I hadn't asked. I know how hard it is for him to think about his life as Darth Vader.

"Luckily we have alternatives," he tells me. "We've decided to allow Jedi to have families," he adds. "Hopefully that will help increase our numbers."

Yes, and I know what that means. I say nothing, however, for the droid has brought our meals. I begin to eat, hoping that the subject drops.

"You know," Anakin says, "Yoda has even suggested that I father more children in order to repopulate the Jedi numbers. Can you believe that?"

I know he's testing me, he's telling me this to get a reaction from me. And try as I may, I can't hide how I feel about this from him. I look up at him with a frown.

"So you're to be a stud for the Jedi order, is that it?" I ask.

His face shows his surprise at my comment. "A _stud_?" he asks with a smile.

"Well, what else would you call it?" I ask, starting to lose my appetite.

Anakin actually starts to laugh, which only adds to my irritation.

"You've called me that many times, as a matter of fact," he tells me, leaning closer.

I feel my face growing warm, and I know I'm blushing. I don't look at him, which only makes him laugh again.

"I don't think this is funny at all," I tell him in a quiet voice.

"No, clearly not," he replies. "I don't understand you at all, Padmé," he says after a moment or two observing me.

"Why not?" I ask, looking at him.

"You don't want me in your life, and yet you don't want me to have a life either," he says. That's exactly right but I can't let him know that.

"Did I say that?" I ask.

"You didn't have to," he replies calmly. "I wish you'd make up your mind, Padmé."  
"I thought you understood how I feel," I tell him, putting down my fork. "But obviously I was mistaken," I add, standing up. "I'm leaving now. This was a mistake."

Anakin doesn't try to stop me, but I can see that he's upset that we've descended into a quarrel. I walk away from the table, my emotions making my hands clench into fists. He doesn't follow me. I'm not sure if I'm happy about this or not.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I arrive at the temple in a foul mood. Padmé's dramatic exit from the café earlier is partly the cause for it. My children are gone for three weeks, and even my good friend Han Solo is off planet right now. Almost everyone I'm close to is either angry at me or off planet. And to top it all off, it's pouring rain outside now. This day couldn't possibly get any worse.

There's still plenty of work to do in the temple, and I'm glad of this. I need to be distracted and busy in order to keep myself from getting angry. I can't help but feel as though Padmé is toying with me- playing with my emotions, knowing exactly how I feel about her. And then what happened at the ballet…and at my apartment before that. She allowed both of those incidents to happen, and yet regretted them afterwards. And yet, the idea of me having children with anyone else, not that I would want to, angers her. Is it any wonder I'm confused?

"Good morning Anakin," Obi-Wan says as he enters the room.

"Morning," I grumble back as I shrug out of my cloak.

"You don't sound too chipper today," he comments as he watches me.

"I don't suppose I do," I reply.

"Is there a reason for that?" he asks. "Or don't you want to talk about it?"  
I frown. "There's no point in talking," I reply, picking up a hydrospanner. "It's the same thing that's been bothering me for weeks."

"You mean Padmé," he observes.

I nod as I start to work on the electrical panel.

"You have to be patient with her, Anakin," he tells me. I've heard this before, many _many _times.

"I am being patient," I tell him. "But I'm just tired of being messed with."

"Is that what you think she's doing?" he asks.

"Yes," I reply. I don't want to get into the particulars of my strange relationship with Padmé with him- some things are better left unsaid. But I'm sure that he must know.

"I know that what she's doing."

Obi-Wan says nothing for a moment and simply watches me as I work on the panel. I know he's out of his league here- his experience with women isn't exactly extensive.

"Have you told her how you feel?" he asks at last. "Or are you making her guess."

"Do I really need to tell her?" I ask. "She knows me well enough to realize what all this is doing to me."

"Anakin, Padmé is doing the best she can," Obi-Wan tells me. "Given the history between you two, you can't be surprised that she's a little reluctant to trust you."

I glare up at him. "I know all about the history, Obi-Wan," I tell him. "I don't need to be reminded of it. And if that's the case, if the past is simply too difficult for her to get over, then why doesn't she leave me the hell alone?" I ask. "Why does she keep leading me on like this? I can't take it. It's not fair."

"Then tell her you want nothing to do with her," he replies calmly. "If that's what you truly want."  
"But that's just it," I tell him, throwing down the tool. "It _isn't _ what I want."

Obi-Wan smiles. "Sounds like you both have some thinking to do," he observes. "Neither of you seem to know what you want."

I frown, and pick up the tool again with the Force. "Tell me something I don't know," I mutter, and then continue with my work. Obi-Wan watches me for a moment, and then leaves me alone to brood.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Today has been a thoroughly rotten day. As if saying goodbye to Luke and Leia wasn't bad enough, the rest of the day has been full of meetings, problems and irritating people. The weather hasn't helped either- it's been raining non stop and my hair is nothing but frizz by this point. And then there was that conversation I had with Anakin…I'm about to leave for the day when Bail enters my office. Great.

"So Luke and Leia are off on their big trip then, are they?" he asks, perching himself on the edge of my desk.

"Yes," I reply as I stand at the filing system, trying to find something. My assistant was kind enough to leave early for a dentist appointment. Typical for the day I suppose.

"Guess that big palace will be pretty quiet without them there," he comments.

I frown. "No doubt," I agree. I don't really need to be reminded of their absence. Why doesn't he see that?

"I had a visit from Master Yoda earlier today," he tells me.

"Oh really?" I ask. "What did he have to say?"

"Well, it was more of an update on the progress they're making at the temple," he tells me. "I guess it's just about finished."  
"Yes, Anakin has been working very hard," I tell him. He nods, even though I know he hates to admit it.

"Their new focus is on finding new members for the Order," he goes on to tell me.

"Yes I know," I reply, giving up on the file. "Not an easy task though," I add.

"No," Bail agrees. To his credit he doesn't remind me about the purges that were lead by Darth Vader. "Yoda seems to think they need to rebuild from within as well as bringing new recruits in," he comments. "So they're allowing the Jedi to get married and have families now for the first time."

"Well, that will certainly help," I reply, not wanting to be reminded of this. I start packing up my valise, hoping he'll get the hint. He doesn't, however, and keeps talking.

"He even went on to suggest that new Jedi, Nomi, and Anakin should have children together," he says. "I'd have to agree with his reasoning. Imagine the Jedi they would produce together."  
I look up at him, unable to keep the frown from my face. "I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you," I remark.

Bail's eyes widen in surprise, and he stands up. "I…I'm sorry, Padmé," he replies. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I'm not so sure, but decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. "I'm sorry," I sigh. "I've just had a long and really stressful day."  
He nods. "Yes, I can see that," he replies. "Go home and relax," he tells me. "A nice glass of brandy and a bubble bath," he suggests with a smile.

"Perhaps I will," I reply. "Goodnight, Bail."

"Goodnight Padmé."

I leave the senate offices and head down to the hangar. It's only then that I remember that my speeder's engine light came on as I made my way to the office today. I had originally planned to contact Han to come and have a look at it- but, of course, I forgot. Things just keep getting better and better. I decide to head over to the shipyards and take a chance that he's still there. I don't like leaving things like this, and know I'll forget again if I don't go now.

Traffic is terrible at this time of day, which only detracts further from my mood. And the rain hasn't let up one bit.

I arrive at the shipyards almost an hour after leaving the senate, and it's only then that I remember that Han isn't on Coruscant. He left three days ago on a mission I sent him on. Why didn't I remember that earlier? I'm here now though- surely there must be a mechanic still here that can take a look at my vehicle.

"Hello? Is there anyone here?" I ask as I walk into the huge hangar bay. There are a few droids working here and there, but I don't see any humans. Great.

"I'm here."

I turn around quickly at the sound of the voice, and see Anakin standing before me.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 62 _ Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

"What are you doing here?" I ask, shocked to see Padmé here at this time of day.

"I came to ask Han to have a look at my speeder," she tells me.

"He's not here," I tell her.

"Yes, I remembered that just now," she reminds. Clearly she's less than happy to see me.

"Why are you coming here so late?" I ask her with a frown. "It's dark outside."

Padmé lifts an eyebrow. "I can look after myself," she says defensively.

I nod, remembering the incident at Dax's diner, but not saying so. "Is there a problem with your speeder?" I ask her.

"Well, I'm not sure," she replies. "It's probably nothing," she adds.

"If it was nothing, why would you battle traffic and the rain to get here?" I ask her calmly.

She frowns, not wanting to admit that I have a valid point. "It's the engine light," she tells me. "I don't think it's anything serious," she adds quickly.

I nod. "Where is it?" I ask her.

"On the dashboard," she says.

"No, your speeder," I say. "Where did you land it? I'll have a look at it."

"You don't need to, really," she protests.

I frown. "I'm not going to let you drive an unsound vehicle," I tell her. "Now where is it?"

"It's outside," she tells me. "The hangar bay door was closed, so I had to leave it outside."

"Show me," I say.

She doesn't protest any more and leads me out the door to where her speeder is. It's pouring rain, of course, but I'm not about to leave this to chance. I would never forgive myself if something happened to her speeder on her way home.

"Wait in here," I tell her. "It's coming down pretty hard out there."

She doesn't disagree, and I walk out into the downpour to have a look at her speeder.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I know that if there's something wrong with my speeder, Anakin will fix it. He's the best mechanic I know. And yet, I can't help but feel like I'm imposing on his goodwill by being here. I know he's upset with me. The way I left him in the café this morning must still be bothering him. Perhaps I should apologize to him for that- now that I think of it, it was a little rude of me.

As I wait for Anakin, I walk around the huge hangar, looking over the prototypes that Han has been working on. Anakin has been working on them too- I see his mark on every one of them. He's truly a genius, I reflect as I admire the sleek lines of the newly crafted ships.

"All fixed," I hear Anakin from behind me.

I turn to him, noting that he's dripping wet now.

"It just needed a top up of oil," he tells me. "You really should keep on top of that," he adds, running his hands through his wet hair.

"I should," I agree. "Thank you."

"No problem," he replies. "I told you that you could ask always come to me if you need something," he reminds me. "I meant it."

"I know," I reply, feeling guiltier now for my abruptness this morning. "I want to apologize for the way I left this morning," I say. "I was a little over dramatic."

Anakin says nothing, but raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"And I'm sorry," I say again, wishing he'd say something. But he doesn't, and walks over to a nearby work bench. I watch him as he opens a drawer and pulls out a clean rag, and proceeds to dry off his face and hair. And then he pulls off his wet tunic and dries his arms off. I can see from here that his skin has goose bumps from being cold.

"Please say something, Anakin," I say finally, walking over to him.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks, not turning around. "It's okay? I'm used to it? I deserve it?"

I frown, not liking the fact that he's not being gracious about this.

"Don't say anything then," I reply. "I'm sorry I even brought it up."

He turns to me at this point, and I can see in his eyes that he's angry.

"You really don't get it, do you?" he asks, tossing the cloth to the floor angrily. "You're such an intelligent, perceptive woman, and yet right now you're totally clueless."

Now _ I'm _ angry. "Clueless?" I reply. "Is that what you think?"

He nods. "Either that or you enjoy jerking me around," he responds.

"How am I doing that?" I cry.

"Come on, Padmé," he replies. "Don't play games with me. You can't deny how much you want me, how much you need me," he declares. "The hickeys all over my body prove that without a doubt," he adds. I can feel my face growing warm by this point.

"I won't deny that," I reply. "But you want me just as much," I point out. "It's not like I'm the only one initiating things between us."

"No," he agrees, "but you're the one who has put parameters on our relationship, not me," he points out. "Parameters that seem to fluctuate depending on your moods and your state of neediness."

"That's a really low blow," I tell him, unable to hide the anger in my voice. "I've admitted how vulnerable I am to you," I continue.

"You have," he agrees. "But did you ever think that goes both ways? Did you ever think that I feel the same way about you? It's not just sex to me, Padmé," he tells me. "It goes a lot deeper than just physical gratification," he adds.

"I never implied that it was," I retort.

"No? Then how do you think it's possible for me to be with you and then just forget that it happened?" he responds.

I have no answer for him, for I know that I am unable to do just that. I lie awake at night reliving in my mind our trysts – I'm distracted every time I see him as I imagine him making love to me. So how can I expect him to forget when I know that I cannot?

Anakin watches me, and I know he can sense my confusion, read my thoughts even. I've never been able to hide how I feel about him from him- but to his credit he's not using that to his advantage.

"I don't," I finally reply. "I mean…I know it's difficult," I amend. "But it's difficult for me too," I add. "This is all difficult for me," I tell him. "I wish you could see that."

He frowns. "It's hard to see it when you're sending me so many mixed signals," he states. "I wish you'd just make up your mind and be done with it."

"That isn't fair," I retort. "And it isn't just a matter of making up my mind, as you put it. You make me sound so …fickle."

"I didn't say that," he replies. "But come to think of it," he adds, folding his arms over his chest. "You are."

I frown. "How can you say that?" I demand.

"Quite easily," he replies. "One minute you want me, the next you don't," he continues. "One day you pull me close, the next you push me away," he adds. "How the hell is that _not _fickle?"

"There's no need to swear at me," I reply, my voice starting to rise. "I don't appreciate it."

"Hell? That's not swearing," he retorts. "You haven't heard swearing if you think that's swearing."

"Well to me it is," I retort. "And I'd thank you to treat me with more respect," I add.

He narrows his eyes and walks over to me. "If I didn't treat you with respect, you'd be naked right now," he says. "And pressed up against a wall being thoroughly screwed."

I'm shocked that he would speak to me this way- and yet I can't deny that on some lewd level his words turn me on.

"Is that all you think about?" I retort. "Sex?"

"When you're around, yes," he admits.

My eyes widen, and I reach up to slap him across the face. But his reflexes are like lightening, and he grabs my wrist before I can strike him. And as soon as he touches me, I know I'm done for. I'm in his arms, again, our mouths pressed, our hands all over the other.

"You really are a piece of work, you know that?" he murmurs against my ear as his hands run up under my blouse.

"Oh please, you're far worse than I am," I retort as he pull apart the buttons of his fly.

"You're going to pay for being such a tease," he tells me as he pulls off my blouse.

"And how am I going to do that?" I challenge, yanking his shorts down over his hips.

He smiles. "Just wait and see," he tells me, his hands moving down to remove my trousers next.

Within moment we're both naked, our kiss resumes, hunger filled and desperate. Anakin picks me up in his arms and takes me over to a nearby work bench. He uses the Force to send the tools crashing to the floor and sets me on it.

"You know," he says, bracing his hands on either side of me. "Anyone could walk in here right now," he says.

"It's late," I remind him, knowing his game. "You said so yourself."

He cocks an eyebrow. "Well, you never know," he says, giving me the smile that he knows dissolves all my defences. I clench my fists, doing my best not to become putty in his hands as I usually do. But he makes it so difficult…

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I can tell that Padmé is doing her utmost to maintain control of the situation, and I'll be damned if I let her. This is one place she is _not _the supreme chancellor, and I'm determined to make sure she gets that.

"You're very randy," I tell her, running a finger down her bare arm. "Seems to me like you've been turned on for quite some time now," I tease, looking at her with a smile.

"Are you complaining about that?" she retorts.

"No, not at all," I reply. "I love it when you're randy," I add, bringing my mouth to her neck and kissing up the side of it slowly. I know exactly what to do to make her mad with lust, to make her lose that control she's holding on to so desperately. If she thinks she's going to win this battle, she's got another thing coming. It isn't long before I sense her defences lower and her true feelings bursting forth.

I love it when she's like this- all sense of propriety gone, nothing but raw emotion and lust. Only I know this side of her, the true sensuality that lies beneath the perfect façade she shows the public.

I stand up, releasing her finally and look at her as she sits on the work bench, breathing hard from excitement.

"Now, what was it you were saying earlier?" I ask her, bracing my hands on either side of her and leaning close. "That I was being difficult? That I was insensitive?" I ask, allowing only the smallest contact between us, knowing she needs me as desperately as I need her right now.

"I never said those things," she tells me, trying to sound imperious despite the look of utter desire in her eyes.

"No? Are you sure about that?" I ask.

"Just shut up and take me," she retorts, grabbing me by the face and kissing me hard.

I'm more than happy to comply. Our kiss matches the raw intensity of our love making, an intensity that makes a mockery of the carefully guarded boundaries she's placed on our relationship.

The sound of the metal work bench slamming against the wall echo through the huge hangar as I take her, joined at intervals by the groans of our pleasure and words of encouragement. Who are we kidding here? Surely Padmé sees as clearly as I do how foolish it is to deny this enthralment that exists between us. And yet, I did promise not to push her. I will let her be the one to put an end to this nonsense.

"Come home with me," Padmé tells me a little later as we get dressed.

I turn to look at her in surprise. "Are you serious?" I ask.

She nods. "I don't want to be alone," she tells me.

I'm not sure if she only wants me to keep her company in the absence of our children, or if she genuinely wants me there. In any case, I'm not going to turn her down. I really don't know what to expect when we get there, however; does she expect me to sleep in one of the guest rooms? Wouldn't that be rather hypocritical after the passionate encounter we've just shared? I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

I follow Padmé to the palace, each of us wanting our own vehicle. At the back of my mind I'm thinking that if things don't work out, I will need a way to leave. How sad it is that I'm already anticipating problems rather than simply focusing on the positive sign of her inviting me over.

"It's so quiet," she comments as we walk into the great hallway. "They've only been gone a matter of hours and I already miss them."

"I know," I agree. "Three weeks will be a long time."

"For us it will," she agrees. "It will fly by for them," she points out.

"Yes, no doubt," I agree. The small talk seems so artificial and stilted, so strange after the way we've spent the evening. "So," I begin, looking around. "It's pretty late," I comment.

"Yes it is," she agrees. "Maybe we should get up to bed."

I nod. "And…where did you want me to sleep?" I ask, deciding just to come out and ask.

She smiles, and takes my hand, and leads me upstairs to what was once our bedroom. I have a feeling neither of us will sleep much this night.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 63 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Anakin and I spend most of the night making love. After the explosive, angry episode at the hangar, our union is tender, each of us taking our time to pleasure the other in the ways that only we know. By dawn we're both exhausted, and fall asleep in one another's arms.

I wake up first, shocked that it's nearly noon when I do. I roll over and see that Anakin is still asleep. I don't regret what happened last night- instead I feel an odd sense of acceptance, not to mention tremendous physical gratification. I am beginning to realize that I can't live without this connection with Anakin – it's like it's vital to my well being, my sanity even. Am I being foolish to think that I can deny my need for him any more? And yet…I'm not ready to trust him again. The wounds are still too fresh, the memories of that terrible night at the lake too clear. I know he has changed, I'd be blind not to see it. Perhaps my mistrust is irrational, I don't know. But it's real, and so long as it is, I won't risk my heart again. But perhaps there is another way. I don't know if Anakin would accept it- but at this point I don't think he's about to be picky. Deciding to leave Anakin to sleep, I head into the fresher to have a shower.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I wake up alone, having dreamed about the baby that we lost- the baby that I caused to die. It was a little girl- who looked very much like Leia. The pain of that loss is still so fresh inside of me, as I know it is for Padmé. I suppose that is the crux of it all – the source of her mistrust. How can I blame her for that? I have to remain patient, and hope that time will heal this. We have come a long way in the past several weeks- I'm hopeful that this progress will continue, and eventually enable Padmé to trust me again.

I hear the sound of the shower in the fresher next door, and realize that is where Padmé has gone. I roll over onto my back and stretch, deciding to be lazy for a change. The dream I've just had has raised a question in my mind. Is Padmé taking birth control? We've been together sexually many times in the past several weeks, and yet she has not become pregnant. I have to wonder if she's taking the tablets that she used to take years ago. I remember where she used to keep them, and am sorely tempted to check and see if my hunch is correct. I don't think she'd mind if I did – it's not like we're strangers after all. And if she isn't, then perhaps that his something we need to address. I won't trap her into remarrying me by impregnating her – I don't want things to end up that way.

Rolling over in the bed, I open the drawer in the nightstand with the force. I remember that she kept them here, or at least she used to. I sit up in the bed and move over to have a look in the drawer. Other than a holonovel and some neatly folded tissues, I don't see anything resembling birth control tablets. So I get up and walk around to the other side of the bed to check the other night stand. I pull open the drawer and the first thing I see is a document folder. On the outside is a crest I recognize, but I don't remember where. My curiosity gets the better of me, and I pull it out of the drawer. Opening the folder, I scan over the contents, growing more confused as I do so. These are the divorce papers that I was served with over a year ago, the same ones that I brought to Naboo on that terrible night, the same ones that I signed the very next day. But…why are they here? Shouldn't they be in a lawyer's office in Theed? Why does she still have them in her possession? And then…I understand. She never filed them. Padmé has not terminated our marriage- we are married still.

A jumble of emotions rages through me as I try to come to an understanding of this discovery. For whatever reason, Padmé has decided not to finish the divorce process. And yet, she has also decided not to tell me so. Why? _Why?_

"Anakin?"

I turn to see Padmé standing in the room, a towel wrapped around her. I don't know what to say to her, and simply stare at her. I'm sure my face betrays my shock, for she frowns as she walks over to me. And then her eyes fall on the folder in my hands, and she stops in her tracks.

"How did you find that?" she asks quietly.

"Does it matter?" I ask. "When were you planning on telling me? Or did you _ever _intend on telling me?" I ask, trying not to let my anger get the better of me.

"I …I don't know what to say," she replies. "I certainly didn't want you to find out this way."

I shake my head in disbelief. "Why, Padmé? Why have you made me believe all this time that our marriage is over, when it isn't?"  
"It _is _ over," she replies. "At least, for me it is," she amends.

I frown. "Is it?" I ask. "These papers say otherwise."

She looks at the document in my hand and then up at me, and I can see how confused she is. But I need answers, and I'm tired of being put off.

"I …can't explain why I haven't filed the papers," she tells me finally. "I really don't know why."

I frown, and walk over to her. "I think it's pretty clear why," I tell her. "You still love me," I tell her. "You still want me."  
She looks up at me. "I've never denied that," she replies. "But I can't trust you, Anakin," she explains. "I don't know when I will again, if ever," she adds. "And until I do, I can't be with you," she continues.

"You can't be with me?" I echo. "But you've been with me, time and time again," I remind her. "Last night, last evening…should I go on?"

"That isn't what I mean," she retorts.

"Then please enlighten me," I reply, growing exasperated.

Padmé sighs, and then sits down on the edge of the bed. "It's very complicated," she says.

"Is it?" I ask. "I think it's pretty clear, actually," I add.

She looks up at me. "You think so, do you?"

"Yes," I reply. "You trust me with your body, but not your heart," I tell her. "You're willing to give yourself to me physically, but not emotionally," I add. "Is that about right?"

She looks away, and I can see that I'm correct.

"Well?" I ask.

"I suppose so," she replies. She looks back up at me. "I'm sorry, but that's exactly how I feel."

"I see," I reply. I walk away from her, my emotions confused.

"Anakin, please try to understand my point of view," she says, standing up and walking over to me.

"I understand," I reply, not looking at her.

"Do you?" she asks, taking my hand.

I turn and look down at her. "Not really, no," I admit.

She sighs, a look of consternation on her face. "I want to be with you," she tells me. "We're being foolish to deny that we can live without one another," she adds. "But I can't commit to a relationship with you that puts me at risk of being hurt again."

I look at her, understanding finally. "So you're only interested in screwing me, is that what you're telling me?" I ask her. "You want me to satisfy you sexually, but you're not willing to commit to me emotionally," I add, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice.

Padmé's face turns pink. "Well, that's putting it rather crudely," she responds.

"Perhaps," I agree. "But that's the bottom line, isn't it?" I ask.

She hesitates, but only for a moment. "Well… yes," she replies. "Is that such a bad thing?"

I frown. Perhaps most men in my position would be more than happy with such an arrangement- but my feelings for Padmé have never been purely physical. I'm not sure I can accept a relationship where our emotions are absent. The fact that we're still married makes it even more difficult to accept.

"I don't know," I reply finally.

She watches me for a moment, not saying anything. "I'm sorry if you're offended," she says finally. "But you wanted to know how I feel. This is how I feel, Ani. I would think that you'd be happy about this."

I turn to her. "Happy?" I echo. "Happy that your still my wife, but don't want me to love you anymore? Happy that your heart is closed to me? How is that supposed to make me happy?"

"Because we will still be together," she replies. "Even if it's only on a physical level," she adds.

I look at her, seeing in her eyes how much she wants this- how much she needs this. After everything I've put her through, how can I refuse her? And besides- it's a start.

"I will have to think about it," I tell her.

She nods. "Very well," she replies, her disappointment clear. "Why don't you come over for dinner later? Perhaps then we can talk more about it."

"As you wish," I reply. I look at my wrist chrono. "I'd better go," I say. "It's pretty late."

"Okay," she replies, and watches me as I head to the fresher for a shower.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Anakin leaves as soon as he is dressed again, and I know he's upset with me. He doesn't like the arrangement I've suggested, he's made that very clear. I don't understand him – he loves sex, probably even more than me. Why would he object to a relationship where we can enjoy one another whenever we want? Whenever we need the release? I suppose I know why- I just don't want to think about it.

"Well, you're certainly late today," Bail comments as I enter my office. He's sitting at my desk, which I hate.

"Yes, is that a problem?" I ask, setting my valise down on my desk.

He frowns. "Well, it's common courtesy to let people know when you're going to be late," he replies.

I don't like his patronizing attitude and frown. "Did I miss something?" I ask. "Was there a meeting I was expected to attend? If not, then I don't need to explain why I'm late," I inform him. "I don't answer to you, Bail," I remind him. "You or anyone."

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, and then his face turns pink. "I didn't mean to imply that you do," he mutters, and leaves my desk. "I suppose I was just concerned."  
He always does this to me, and it drives me mad.

"I'm an adult, Bail," I tell him as he moves aside to let me sit. "You don't need to be concerned about me."

I open my valise and try to ignore him, but I know he's standing there watching me. If he suspects something, he hasn't said so. I'm sure he'd be too embarrassed to anyway. Not to mention the fact that it would kill him to know that I'm sexually involved with Anakin again. Bail despises Anakin; if he knew that I was back with him, even on a physical level, I would never hear the end of it. Of course, the fact that Bail is in love with me plays a huge part in his distain for Anakin.

"We have a meeting at 1500 hours with Master Yoda," Bail reminds me, his tone rather cool. "I hope you'll be able to make it."

I look up at him. "Of course I will," I reply, and then look back down at my work, hoping he'll take the hint. He finally does, and then leaves me alone to get caught up on my work.

It's quite late in the evening when I arrive back at the palace. I sent a message to Anakin asking him to come around 2000 hours, and it's nearly that now. I decide that I'm too tired to make dinner, so instruct the cook to get something together as quickly as possible. I'm in the office about to go and get changed when the comm sounds. It's Luke and Leia.

"Hello!" I say, sitting down at the computer console. "It's so good to see you!"

"Hi Mom!" Leia says. "It's good to see you too."

"How are you doing?" I ask.

"Great," Luke replies. "We're on Geonosis," he tells me. "Today we saw the arena where you and Dad nearly died."

I nod, remembering that day well. "That was a long time ago," I comment.

"Isn't that the place where you first told Dad you loved him?" Leia asks, remembering the story I told her many months earlier.

"Yes it is," I recall. "I thought we were going to die."  
"It's pretty creepy being there," Luke says. "You can feel the ghosts of all the Jedi who died there."

"You can _not_ Luke," Leia says with a roll of her eyes. "You're just being dramatic."

I smile, missing them both. "Have you see the droid factories yet?"  
"No, that's tomorrow," Luke tells us. "I can't wait," he adds with a smile.

I have less than fond memories of that place. "You sound like you're having a lot of fun," I tell them.

"We are," Leia responds. "But we miss you and Dad a lot," she's sure to add.

"Well I'm sure your father misses you both as much as I do," I tell him.

"He sure does."

I turn quickly, startled by the sound of Anakin's voice behind me.

"Dad!" Leia exclaims. "We didn't know you were there."

"I just arrived," Anakin says, walking over to stand behind me. "Your mother invited me for dinner."  
The twins exchange a look and I can tell that they're surprised and yet pleased to hear it.

"That's awesome," Luke responds. "How are things at the temple, Dad?"  
"Pretty quiet," Anakin replies. "Obi-Wan is off investigating some potential new recruits."

"That's great," Leia responds. "I hope they work out."

"Yes, so do I," Anakin replies.

"We should get going," Luke says. "They're pretty strict about lights out," he adds.

"Good," I reply. "Glad to hear it."  
Luke and Leia laugh. "Goodnight, Mom, Dad," they say.

"Goodnight," Anakin replies. "Love you both."

I blow them a kiss, and then the transmission ends.

"It was good to see them," Anakin says as I stand up and turn to face him.

I nod. "It was," I agree. "Are you hungry?" I ask.

Anakin nods. "Always," he replies with a smile.

"Then come on," I say, "I'm sure it's ready by now."

We head to the dining room, where the table has been set. "sorry I had to push ahead dinner," I tell him as he pulls out a chair for me. "I was kind of behind at the office today."

"Wonder why that is," he remarks. I look over my shoulder at him and see that he's smiling.

"I think you can guess," I respond as he takes his seat across from me. "Bail wasn't too happy about me showing up so late," I add.

The smile leaves Anakin's face. "Too bad," he replies. "He doesn't have the right to tell you what to do," he adds.

"Yes, I pretty much told him that," I respond.

He looks surprised to hear it. "Did you?"

I nod.

"I don't imagine he liked hearing that," he comments as Threepio sets plates before each of us.

"No he didn't," I respond. "But he needed to hear it. Sometimes he's very patronizing."

"You don't need to tell me that," he responds, picking up his fork and knife. "I've always thought so."

I nod as I start my own meal. I want to ask him if he's given any thought to my proposition from earlier, but don't want to rush him. We're having a pleasant time, and I don't want to spoil it by raising an issue I know he's uncomfortable with. And yet, I need to know where I stand with him.

"So," I begin. "Have you given any thought to our conversation from earlier today?" I ask him.

Anakin looks up at me and nods.

"And? What do you think?" I ask.

He sets his fork down before responding, and I get the feeling that his answer isn't going to be to my liking.

"I've decided to go along with it," he tells me. "But understand this, Padmé," he adds. "It won't just be sex to me," he explains. "You're my wife. Isn't _never _just been about sex with you."

"It was when you were Darth Vader," I remind him.

He frowns. I know he doesn't like to be reminded of those days.

"I loved you even when I was Darth Vader," he tells me. "But I can see why you'd think that," he adds.

We eat our meals in silence for a few moments as I digest his response to my proposal. It's not what I expected- but at least he's not refusing me. If he wants to attach an emotional element to this, I'm not going to stop him. I'm not prepared to do the same, however. Not yet.

"So you're okay with my conditions then?" I ask him.

He looks up at me. "So long as you're okay with mine," he replies.

I nod. "I can live with them," I reply. "I'm not sure it's good for you to look at things that way," I add. "But that's up to you."

He frowns. "I'll be the judge of that," he replies. "One more thing," he adds. "Birth control."

I'm surprised he would think of such a thing, but suppose he's just being responsible. It's so unlike him.

"I started taking the tablets again after we were together at your apartment," I tell him. "I just thought…better safe than sorry," I add with a smile.

He nods, not amused. "True," he agrees. "Though I'm sure Master Yoda would be thrilled if I were to father more children," he adds.

"Yes, no doubt," I agree, the idea of him and Nomi having children together entering my mind. "I know he's even suggested you have children with Nomi."

Anakin frowns. "How did you know that?" he asks.

I shrug, trying to keep my emotions from showing. "I don't remember who told me," I lie.

"Well it's not going to happen," he assures me. "I'm not going to be a …Jedi stud," he adds with a hint of a smile.

"Good," I reply, a little too quickly. Anakin's smile grows.

"There's only one woman whose stud I'm interested in being," he adds.

His words and the look in his eyes make my face grow warm. "Is that so?" I ask.

He nods, his eyes never leaving mine. It's getting very warm in here all of a sudden.

"I don't feel like dessert, do you?" I ask him.

"Well, not anything that comes out of a kitchen," he tells me.

I smile. "No? What did you have in mind, then?"

Anakin pushes his chair away from the table and stands up. "Let me show you," he says, holding his hand out to me.

I smile, and then stand up as well. He takes my hand and we head upstairs, beginning a new chapter in our long, and very complicated relationship.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 64

_Flames...they surround me, envelope me, I can feel them creeping up my back and licking at the remains of my limbs…the smell of my own burning flesh nauseates me, but the pain…the pain is indescribable. There is no escape from it- crippled by Kenobi's blow, I try to crawl away, try to roll but I'm helpless. The fire consumes me, immolates me as I lay helplessly in the heavy sand…_

With a gasp I wake up, the dream I have all too often shaking me from sleep. The fires of Mustafar…a moment in time that will never be forgotten by me, even by my subconscious. I dream often of fire- I suppose it's become my nemesis now, my greatest enemy. I avoid it like a deadly plague.

I sit up in bed, finding myself shaking and drenched with sweat. Padmé is asleep at my side, blissfully unaware of the terror I've just lived through. It's better this way. I don't want her to know my secret terror. I run my hands through my sweat soaked hair and summon the Force in an attempt to calm myself down. It's not easy. After a few moments I decide to get up. It's the middle of the night, but somehow I can't allow myself to stay here. It would seem too normal- and the relationship I have with my wife is anything but normal. She is unwilling to invest her emotions in this …arrangement, and I am unable to not do so. I know the risk I'm taking, but I cannot live without her. Even still, I'm not a masochist. I can't pretend that we're happily married when she's not willing to do so.

Getting out of bed as quietly as possible, I'm almost at the fresher door when I hear Padmé's voice behind me.

"Ani? Are you okay?"

I turn to her, and I'm sure she can see by my face that I'm not. "Yeah," I lie. "I'm going to have a shower."  
She frowns and sits up in the bed. "It's the middle of the night," she points out. "Can't you wait until the morning?"

"No," I reply. "I'm …I'm going home," I tell her. "I think it's better if I do."

Her frown deepens, but she doesn't question me. I head into the fresher and turn on the shower.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

It troubles me that Anakin is having nightmares again, for despite what he said, I know that's what has happened. I don't want to ask him about it- I fear that would only upset him more. It's such a fine line I'm walking- I love him so much, but I can't let myself love him. Paradoxical to say the least. Am I mad to think that I can do this without my heart getting involved? Anakin has told me unequivocally that he cannot. More than that, he won't even try. I just don't want anyone getting hurt. Is that naïve of me?

I hear the shower turn on in the next room, and slip out of bed. He is planning on leaving, but I'm not ready for him to go. I want him here. Is it selfish of me to ask him to stay?

The fresher is steamy from the hot water. He always did love hot showers. I can barely make out his body behind the frosted glass of the shower stall. I watch him for a moment, watch him as he washes his face, as he turns and lets the water drench his long hair. By the maker he is gorgeous…I can't help myself when he's like this, and open the shower door. Anakin opens his eyes and looks at me, surprised to see me.

"I hope you don't mind," I tell him, closing the door as I join him in the stall. "I thought you might like some company."

He smiles, unable to resist me just as I am unable to resist him. "I would," he says, taking my hand. "Very much," he adds, pulling me to his body. His mouth finds mine as our bodies mesh under the water.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I lie awake, Padmé nestled up against me. I don't know what time it is – time seems meaningless when I'm with her. I can't believe how randy she is these days- must be going through some sort of high sexual peak right now. Not that I'm complaining. I could never get enough of her. I turn to look at her face as the early morning light starts to stream through the curtains. She is so beautiful as she sleeps, like an angel. _My angel. _ No, not mine, not any more. She may be mine physically, but until I have her heart again, she can never truly be my angel. I feel my throat constrict as I watch her, the love I feel for her almost crippling in its intensity. What if she never wants to be my wife again in every sense of the word? What if this is all our relationship ever is? What if she never loves me again? I can't let myself be lost in her, I will go mad if I do, if she never loves me back like she used to.

Planting a kiss on her forehead, I slip out of her bed, just as I used to do so many times during the Wars. Silently I get dressed, watching her sleep as I do so. And then I leave her, just as I have done so many times. I close the bedroom door behind me quietly, and walk away, knowing that I have no choice. Padmé once told me that she needed to protect her heart from being hurt again- looks like she's not the only one who needs to do that.

Dawn is breaking as I leave the palace and head to my own home, the home I once shared with her. But it's just a place to sleep now- not a home. Home is where your heart is- and that's behind me in the palace I just left. It's where my children and wife are. Perhaps I will never know home again. I've often thought that Hell is a place where you can see what you've lost, and have it just out of reach. Forever. . And yet, is that any less than I deserve? Darth Vader certainly deserves no less.

Obi-Wan has returned when I arrive at the temple later. I'm glad he's back. He is the only one I've confided in, the only one who knows what I'm going through. And although I know he's very uncomfortable talking about it, he listens and helps me sort through things. Well, sort of.

"It's good to see you, Anakin," Obi-Wan says with a smile. "I trust you've had a productive week."

"Yes, I've been keeping busy," I tell him. "Helps deal with …things, you know?"

He nods. "Yes," he replies. "Any new developments on that front?"

"You wouldn't believe it old friend," I tell him. "I'll buy you breakfast and tell you all about it."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Anakin is gone when I wake up. I'm not surprised, but at the same time I'm disappointed. I thought after the way I joined him in the shower he'd be more likely to stay. But I suppose he's right- we _aren't _living as husband and wife, so staying over would just complicate things. Still, I love waking up with him next to me. I miss waking up with him next to me.

The palace is so quiet with Luke and Leia away. Too quiet. I've been spending a lot of time at the office lately to try to fill the void, but I risk giving Bail the wrong idea if I do that too often. Besides, I love my home. It's just….too quiet right now.

"Good morning Milady," Threepio says as I enter the kitchen. "Can I get you something?"

"Just tea this morning Threepio," I tell him. "Thanks."  
"Oh," he replies, clearly disappointed. "Will Master Ani be having some breakfast then?" he asks.

"Master Ani isn't here," I tell him. "He left several hours ago."

The droid doesn't understand human behaviour at the best of times. I can't imagine what this arrangement with Anakin will do to his sensitive circuits.

"Oh," he replies. "I'm sorry," he adds, clearly not knowing what to say. He then turns and leaves to make my tea, no doubt trying to compute the strange goings on in the palace.

"There is a message for you, Milady," Threepio informs me when he returns with my tea. "From Naboo. I believe it's your sister."

"Thank you Threepio," I reply, taking the cup from him. I suddenly feel guilty for not having contacted Sola in so long. It's been weeks since the twins' birthday party. I take my tea with me into the office, where I sit down at the computer console. I bring up my sister's message and sit back to drink my tea while I view it.

"Hello Padmé. I hope you are well. It's been a while since we spoke, and, quite frankly, I've been worried about you. Please contact me when you get this. Love you!"

Is it fate that sent Sola my way this morning? Did she know I needed her just now? I lean forward and key in her code, and wait a moment or two for her to appear. She smiles when she sees me.

"That was quick," she quips. "Usually takes you weeks to get back to me."

"I know," I reply. "Guilty as charged," I add with a smile. "It's good to see you," I tell her.

"It's good to see you too," she replies. She studies my face for a moment, as though trying to read my mind. She can sometimes- always has. "What's going on with you?" she asks.

I shrug as I sip my tea. "Nothing extraordinary," I tell her. "Work, work and more work," I add.

"Yes, what else is new?" she comments. "You know what they say about all work and no play, Padmé," she says, shaking a finger at me.

I smile behind my cup. "I didn't say I never play," I tell her.

Sola's eyes widen. "Oh well now _that's _a loaded statement if ever I've heard one," she replies. "Tell me."

"I have a better idea," I say. "Why don't you come here for a few days and I'll fill you in on what's going on."

"A few days? Wow, it must be big," she replies. "I think I can manage a few days," she adds.

"Fantastic," I reply. "Luke and Leia are away on a class trip, and I'm tired of talking to droids."

Sola laughs. "I can imagine," she replies. "I'll have to take a look at my schedule and see what works. I'll let you know by the end of the day. How does that sound?"

"Sounds wonderful," I reply. "You have no idea how much I need you right now, Sola," I add.

Sola nods. "Yes, so I see," she replies. "I'll talk to you soon, then, okay?"

"Okay," I reply. "Talk to you later." I end the transmission, excited at the prospect of seeing my sister very soon.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

"I…I don't know what to say," Obi-Wan stammers, his face quite red. He is embarrassed, I know it- but he's still listening.

"Yeah, tell me about it," I reply as the serving droid collects our dirty dishes. "I'm torn, Obi-Wan," I tell him. "I want her, but I want _all _ of her, her heart and soul, not just her body."

He nods, stroking his beard in the manner he does when he's thoughtful. "I understand," he replies. "To tell you the truth, Anakin, I'm rather surprised she'd make such a proposition. It seems so out of character for Padmé to be involved sexually with someone she's not married to."

"Oh, but that's the kicker, Obi-Wan," I tell him, leaning forward. "We _are _married," I tell him.

He frowns. "What the devil are you talking about?" he asks. "What did I miss? I was only gone a week!"

I smile. "You didn't miss anything," I assure him. "Except that I found out that Padmé never filed the divorce papers," I tell him. "Legally we're still married."  
"Now why would she do that?" he muses. "After all the trouble those damnable papers caused in the first place," he adds.

"I know," I reply. "I don't understand it either. Even she can't explain it. But the bottom line is, we're still married, Obi-Wan."  
"Well there you go," he replies. "That makes sense why she's willing to be involved with you in such a manner."

"Yes, it does," I agree. "But…I want more, Obi-Wan," I tell him. "Perhaps that makes me selfish, but I do."

He smiles. "It doesn't make you selfish, Anakin," he replies. "It just makes you a man desperately in love with his wife," he continues.

I sigh. "You're right about that," I reply. "I suppose I'll just have to keep being patient with her and hope in time I can find a way to win back her trust."

He nods. "And knowing how incredibly stubborn and bull-headed you are, you will find it," he comments with a smile.

I can't help but agree with him.

Chapter 65 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"I'm so glad you were able to get away for a few days," I tell Sola as we sit eating breakfast. "It's so good to see you!"  
She smiles as she sets her cup down. "I had the feeling that you needed someone to talk to," she responds. I've never been able to hide anything from her. "I've been here since last night, Padmé. When are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

I look down into my own teacup. "What makes you think I have something on my mind?" I ask. "Why can't I just want to visit with my sister?"

"I know you want to visit with me," she replies. "That's not what I meant. But I know that there's more to it than simply that. It's Anakin, isn't it?"  
I look up at her, probably a little too quickly. She smiles. "I'm right, aren't I?"

I sigh, deciding that it's futile to try and deny it. "Is it that obvious?" I ask.

Sola nods.

"Well, now that you mention it," I respond. "There has been a rather significant development in our relationship," I tell her.

Sola's smile fades. "Development?" she asks. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Well…."

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

The new recruits Obi-Wan invited to the temple have proven to be disappointing. We've been testing them all morning, but I'm starting to think that it's a waste of time. I look over at Obi-Wan, who sits across from me in the round chamber. His face, as always, is impassive as he watches the response of the young boy we're testing. I remember being the one standing there, surrounded by Jedi Masters who tested me and then rejected me. I remember how scared I was, how unwelcome I felt in their midst. The young boy doesn't seem frightened though- in fact, he seems a little too sure of himself for my liking. I know I was never particularly humble when I was a padawan, but I know now that it's a vital characteristic for a Jedi. My pride lead to my fall- or at least it assisted in it.

"Thank you Jared," Obi-Wan says finally. "This concludes our testing."

The young boy nods, and then leaves the room. Once the door slides closed behind him, I speak up.

"He doesn't have it," I say. "Not even close."

Yoda nods. "Agree I do," he responds. "Not a good candidate," he adds.

Obi-Wan strokes his beard thoughtfully. "He seemed promising, but I agree," he states. "Pity," he adds. "We don't have a lot of prospects," he states with a frown.

I know exactly why we don't- I eliminated them. "Darth Vader was nothing if not thorough," I comment bitterly. "How ironic."

"Indeed," Obi-Wan replies.

"Have more children you must, Anakin," Yoda says. "Remarry you must."

I frown and look at Yoda. "Out of the question," I reply. "I know I have a lot to atone for, but I _won't _ do that. You can't ask that of me, Master Yoda."  
Yoda says nothing in reply, but I see in his eyes that he's not pleased.

"How did your meeting with Chancellor Organa go, Master Yoda?" Nomi asks, wisely putting and end to the discussion.

"Unproductive it was," Yoda states. "Knows nothing of the money, does he."

"What money are you talking about?" I ask.

"Palpatine's money," Obi-Wan tells me. "He emptied the coffers of the temple after the purges," he reminds me. "But no one knows where the money is," he adds. "We could certainly use it now."  
I nod. "I think I know," I tell them with a frown.

The three of them look at me, a mixture of emotions in their auras. On the one hand they're happy that I know- but on the other, the reason _why _ I know is disquieting to all present, myself included.

"If you do, then you must find it, Anakin," Obi-Wan says finally.

"I know," I reply. I'm prevented from saying any more by the sound of my comlink. "Master Skywalker, there's a delivery for you," I'm told by one of the assistants we've hired. "They need your signature."  
"I'm on my way," I say, standing up. I leave the three of them, glad to have a reason to do so.

Chapter 65

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"You have _got _to be kidding," Sola tells me, staring at me with wide eyes. "You actually _agreed _to such an arrangement?"

"I suggested it, actually," I reply. "It was my idea."  
I can tell that Sola is less than impressed, but I don't care. She has no idea what it's like to be in my position.

"Padmé, this is so unlike you," she says. "Engaging in a …sexual relationship with someone with no emotional attachment," she continues. "It's …I…I just don't understand!"

"First of all, I didn't say there was no emotional attachment," I correct her. "I love Anakin, I always have and always will," I go on. "Secondly, Anakin and I are still married," I inform her. "So please spare me your prudish notion about being involved sexually with someone I'm not married to," I add.

Sola's face reddens. "Still married? But you filed for divorce over a year ago!"  
"I never filed the papers," I tell her. "So, technically, we're still married."

She says nothing in reply, but shakes her head. "I don't know what to say," she says finally. "I don't understand any of this, Padmé. But it's your life," she tells me. "If this is what you want, I'm not about to dissuade you from it."

I smile. "Thank you, Sola," I tell her. "Your support really means a lot to me."

Leaving Sola to do some shopping in town, I head for the office. I'm anxious to learn how Bail's meeting with Yoda went the other day for I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it. I find Bail in his office.

"Good morning," I say to him.

He looks up from his work. "Oh, good morning," he says. "I thought you'd be spending the day with your sister," he comments, leaning back in his chair.

"Well, I don't plan on putting in a full day," I tell him. "But I wanted to see how your meeting with Master Yoda went yesterday," I explain, sitting down on one of the large chairs in front of his desk.

"Oh yes, well," he begins, a frown on his face. "Not as well as I'd hoped, unfortunately," he says.

"Oh? Why is that?" I ask.

"Well, he came here looking for money, pretty much," he says.

I frown. "Really? Money? Why?"  
"Not just any money," he responds. "The money that Palpatine took from the Jedi after the purges. Yoda seemed to think we'd know something about it. I had to tell him that I don't have a clue," he tells me. "They wanted to invest it in their big rebuilding project," he explains. "But I wasn't able to offer any suggestions."

I nod as I ponder this. To my knowledge, there's only one person in the universe who knows where that money is. Anakin.

"Do you think, possibly, Anakin would know?" he asks. "He was Palpatine's right hand man for sixteen years."  
"Yes I know," I reply. "That thought crossed my mind as well," I tell him.

"Would you be willing to ask him?" Bail asks. "I mean, I know you two have…issues," he adds somewhat uncomfortably.

"I will speak to him," I tell Bail. "As soon as possible in fact."

Bail nods. "That's great," he says. "Hopefully he'll be able to help."

"If anyone can, it's him," I reply, standing up. "I'll have Cillia contact him right now."

Cillia isn't at her desk when I reach my own office, so I leave a note for her. I don't want to contact Anakin myself- this is official business after all. I'm afraid that if I contact him personally he will get the idea that I want him to come to my office for a much different reason.

Deciding to check in with Han, who has just returned to the planet, I go into my office to take my mind off of Anakin's impending arrival.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

The machinery I ordered is almost installed. The outdated air circulation system that I found in the temple sounds like an old bantha now, wheezing and coughing at intervals. This new system is much more in keeping with the newly updated technology and design I've put in place here. I'm just about ready to start the new system up when my comlink interrupts me.

"Excuse me, Master Skywalker," I hear one of the assistants say.

"What is it?" I ask with an exasperated sigh.

"The chancellor's office is contacting you," I'm told.

"Which chancellor? " I ask, hoping it's Padmé.

"Chancellor Amidala," is the reply. "Her assistant would like a word with you."

"Tell her I'll be there within the hour," I reply. I look up at Obi-Wan who has been assisting me. "Look like I'm being summoned," I remark.

Obi-Wan smiles. "We exist to serve, Anakin," he reminds me. "Don't forget."

I nod. "I won't," I reply. "I'll be back later," I add, and him them to see what my wife wants to talk to me about.

Padmé's assistant looks up at me with a smile when I arrive.

"That was fast," she says. She's more than a little friendly with me, I've noticed.

"Well, a summons to the chancellor's office is a pretty big deal," I reply. "Is she in her office?"  
"She is," Cillia replies. "But she's on the comm right now," she informs me. She stands up. "Let me show you where you can wait," she tells me.

I follow her to a small room down the corridor from Padmé's office. It's quite comfortable within, with a small kitchen area, sofas, a desk and computer console.

"Can I get you something before I go?" Cillia asks me as I take a seat.

"No," I reply. "Thanks."

"Okay then," she replies. "She won't be long," she adds, giving me another smile.

I nod, and watch her leave. The door slides closed behind her, and I lean back in the sofa and look around. The sofa is comfortable, so comfortable that I think I could nod off to sleep if I have to wait too long.

There's a coffee table between the two sofas, and, after a moment's hesitation, put my feet up on it. I know Padmé hates it when I do that, but she's not here to scold me I reflect with a smirk. I lean my head back against the back of the couch and look up at the ceiling tiles. The design starts to blur as my eyes grow heavy, and before I know it, I'm fast asleep.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I conclude my conversation with Han, excited with all his news. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without him and his expertise. He's been an invaluable asset to me over the past year, and has become like a member of my family.

"Cillia, have you been able to reach Anakin Skywalker?" I ask over the comm..

"Yes Milady," she replies. "He's here."

"He is?" I ask. "Where?"  
"I showed him to the lounge," she tells me. "He's been here about twenty minutes already."  
"Thank you," I say, standing up at once. I know how Anakin hates to be kept waiting. I'll be lucky if he's still there at all.

I reach the lounge, half expecting to see it empty. But what I do find brings a smile to my face.

Anakin is sound asleep, one long leg propped over the edge of the sofa, the other stretched out on the floor. His arms are folded over his chest, and his hair is in his eyes. Clearly he's been asleep more than a few minutes. I feel torn – part of me wants to just let him sleep. I know how much trouble he's been having lately getting a decent night's sleep. But I need to talk to him- and I know he's a busy man. I sit on the small table in front of the sofa and simply watch him for a moment or two before reaching over and shaking his shoulder gently.

"Anakin, wake up," I say.

He frowns in his sleep and turns his head away, just as he does when he doesn't want to get up in the morning. But I persist.

"Ani, wake up," I say again, shaking his shoulder a little harder this time.

His eyelids start to flutter, and I see them open. He looks up at me from under his long lashes, clearly discombobulated. "Padmé?"  
I smile. "Yes, did you have a nice nap?" I ask, sitting back and folding my hands in my lap.

He sits up and looks around, trying to piece together how he came to be asleep here. "Uh, yeah," he says rubbing his eyes. "Sorry, guess I was more tired than I realized," he adds, running his hands through his tousled hair.

"It's okay," I reply. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting," I tell him. "I was talking with Han."

"Oh? And how did his trip go?" he asks.

"Very well by the sounds of it," I report. "He's quite anxious to fill you in on all the details," I add.

Anakin nods. "I look forward to it," he replies. "So …what did you want to talk to me about?" he asks. "Your assistant made it sound rather urgent."

"Well I suppose it is," I reply.

"Let me guess," he says. "It's about the money Palpatine took from the Jedi treasury, isn't it?"

I smile. "Obviously you've been speaking with Yoda," I tell him.

"Yes he mentioned that his meeting the Organa was a waste of time," he tells me. "And that Organa is clueless," he adds.

"Hmm…why can't I imagine Yoda using those words?" I muse.

Anakin chuckles. "Well, I'm paraphrasing," he says.

"Clearly," I reply. "Bail and I both thought that perhaps you were the one we needed to talk to," she continues. "That you might know what Palpatine did with the money."

He nods. "I can see why you'd think that," he replies.

"Does that mean you know?" I ask hopefully.

"Perhaps," he says, standing up. "I might be able to get into his accounts still," he adds, walking over to the computer. "It's worth a shot."  
I nod, and stand up to follow him to the computer. Anakin pulls a chair over for me, ever the gentleman, and then sits at the console. I sit beside him and watch him as his hands move over the controls. If he is able to get past the myriad of firewalls and various other security safeguards, it will be a miracle. But then again, Anakin himself is something of a miracle, isn't he?

"Well, this is the place where I would guess it would be," he says as he brings up a screen I don't recognize. I lean closer to get a better look, noting how good he smells as I do so. Anakin doesn't wear cologne or anything like that- he never has. But he always has this masculine scent to him that makes me weak in the knees. I focus on the screen and push any improper thoughts from my mind. This is hardly the place for them.

"I know he liked to spread his money around," he is telling me. "He was a paranoid old bastard," he adds. "Never trusted anyone, not even me," he continues.

"Most madmen are like that," I comment. "Mistrustful and paranoid."

He nods. "Well, he was certainly mad," he agrees, his eyes scanning over the words on the screen. He enters some characters, frowns, and then tries something else. Another screen opens up, guarded by another security firewall.

"This isn't going to be easy," he mutters, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Wouldn't Palpatine have had a will?" I ask him.

Anakin turns to me. "Yes, I suppose so," he replies.

"Well, as Darth Vader, wouldn't _you _be his logical heir?" I ask.

He looks back at the screen and I can see that I have given him an idea. "I can't think of who else it would be," he replies.

"So that means that money is yours," I tell him. "And at some point it would have been bequeathed to you," I add. "Only you've been away for a year and wouldn't have been around for the executors to contact."

He looks back at me. "But Palpatine was dead months before I left for Tatooine," he reminds me.

I nod. "Yes, but a will can take months even years to be settled," I remind him. "Especially when we're dealing with as much wealth as he had."  
Anakin nods. "Yes, I suppose so," he agrees.

"Do you know the legal firm he would have had his will filed with?" I ask him.

He frowns again. "No," he replies. "But I can find out," he says, starting back to work on the computer. I sit back and watch him, confident that with his brilliant mind he will have this conundrum solved soon.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 66 Voice of Anakin Skywalker

Padmé and I spend the better part of the morning at the computer; or rather, I do. Padmé is in and out of the room, attending to her other duties. By noon I've managed to learn the name of Palpatine's executor, some anonymous legal official on Naboo, and contact him to inquire about the will. I haven't heard back yet, but I'm tired of sitting and decide to get up and stretch my legs.

I feel the tension between my shoulder blades from too long at the computer. I stretch to try to alleviate it just as Padmé enters the room. She is carrying a tray of food, and I suddenly realize how hungry I am.

"I thought you might want some lunch," she says, setting the tray down on the small table in front of me. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes I am," I reply. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she replies, sitting down across from me as I pick up part of the sandwich. "Any luck?"

I nod. "I found the executor of Palpatine's will," I tell her between mouthfuls. "And left a message for them to contact me."

"Hopefully they'll get back to you soon," she replies .

"And then I'll have to prove my claim to be Darth Vader," I say. "Assuming of course that I am in fact the old bugger's heir."

"Who else would it be?" she asks. "It's not like he had children," she adds.

I snort. "Not a chance," I reply. "Don't think the old devil was even capable of it."

Padmé laughs. "Now that's something I never want to ponder," she remarks.

"No, me neither," I agree with a laugh. I lean forward to pick up the glass of water on the tray and wince as the tense muscles in my neck give me a jolt of pain.

"What's wrong?" Padmé asks at once.

"Ah, nothing," I reply. "Just a little muscular strain," I add, rubbing the back of my neck. "Guess I'm not used to spending so much time at the computer," I tell her.

"No I guess not," she replies, and then stands up. "Let me see if I can help," she says, walking around the sofa I'm seated upon.

"Lean back," she instructs. I do so at once, and then feel her small hands upon my shoulders. "You're all knotted up," she says as she starts to knead the tense muscle between my shoulder blades. I close my eyes as she works the tension away with an expertise I've always appreciated.

"You do that so well," I murmur.

"Years of practice," she responds, moving her hands up the column of my neck next.

"Oh yeah," I groan, "that's it – right - there.."

Padmé focuses her attention on the area of my neck that hurts the most, making the soreness melt away under her most talented fingers.

"I'm sorry, am I intruding?"

Padmé and I look over to the doorway where Bail Organa has just entered.

"No, of course not," Padmé replies, but stops what she's doing and steps away. "Anakin just had a sore neck from sitting at the computer for so long," she explains.

"I see," Organa replies, looking at me. Although his face manages to hide his face, his mind tells another story. His jealousy is so intense it's almost palpable.

"Is there something you wanted, Chancellor?" I ask him, standing up to face him.

"I was hoping for news of your progress," he tells me. "Padmé told me what you've been working on."

"Well, we're just waiting for a response right now," Padmé explains. "Anakin managed to locate the executor of Palpatine's will."

Organa nods. "That's a start," he replies. "Though I have to wonder how much of the money is left," he adds. "You and Palpatine certainly spent a great deal of money on that bloody Death Star, after all."

I frown, and feel the anger threatening to swell inside of me. "Palpatine spent money on the Death Star, yes," I agree. "That was his project, not mine."

Organa shrugs. "Still, you _were _his right hand man for many years," he reminds me.

"Yes I was," I agree, folding my arms over my chest. "Is there a point to this?"

"Please, let's not do this," Padmé says, stepping in. "Anakin doesn't need to be reminded of the past, Bail," she tells him. "He is doing everything he can to make amends for it," she adds.

Organa looks at her and then back at me, one eyebrow lifted. "I suppose he is," he concedes. "But that doesn't erase the past," he adds.

"No it doesn't," I agree. "Nothing can. What would you have me do, Organa? Just tell me what you want."

He says nothing in response, but his face reddens ever so slightly. "I'll leave you to your task," he says finally. "And check in on your progress later, if that's acceptable."

"It is," Padmé replies. "Hopefully we'll have something to report soon," she adds.

Organa nods. "Very well," he says, looking at me one last time and then leaving.

"What a pompous jack ass," I declare as soon as the door closes behind him. I turn to Padmé. "Who the hell does he think he is, anyway?"

Padmé walks over to me. "Don't let him bother you," she tells me. "You know how he feels about Darth Vader."

"I know, but I am _not _Darth Vader," I remind her. "I just wish everyone would get that through their heads."

She nods, and then takes my face in her hands. "I know you're not," she assures me. "You're nothing like him," she adds. "Bail just doesn't know you like I do," she tells me. "In time I'm sure he …"

"I don't really care what he thinks of me, Padmé," I interject. "I just don't appreciate his constant digs," I add.

"I know," she replies, stroking my face gently. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I tell her. "You can't help it if Organa is an asshole."

She smiles. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Is it that obvious?" I ask.

She nods. "You've never been very good at hiding your feelings," she points out.

"That's certainly true," I agree. "Especially when it comes to you," I add, putting my hands on her shoulders. "I remember that night at the lake when I told you how I felt," I continue. "I was so desperately in love with you that I couldn't even see straight."

"I remember," she replies. "You were so intense back then," she adds. "You've changed since then," she tells me.

"Well I wasn't much more than a boy when I married you," I remind her.

"Perhaps," she replies. "In some ways," she adds.

"I remember being nervous as hell on our wedding night," I confess to her. "I didn't know whether to get undressed or not while I was waiting for you."

She laughs. "You managed to figure it out," she replies. "We both did, considering it was our first time."

I nod. "I'd have to agree," I reply. "That night was incredible, like a dream."

"It was," she agrees. "Every night with you was incredible, though," she tells me. "Every hurried embrace, every secret meeting…" she stops, and I can sense how emotional she's becoming remembering the past.

"I'm sorry," she says, releasing me and turning away. "I shouldn't go on like this," she adds.

I hesitate for a moment, unsure how I should respond. I hate it when she's hurting, even more so when I'm the cause. I walk over to her and put my hands on her shoulders as she stands with her back to me.

"Don't ever apologize for remembering the goods times we've had, Padmé," I tell her. "It's the only thing that makes reflecting upon the past bearable." She says nothing, but doesn't move away from me either. I take this as a good sign. "All those years when I was alone, when I thought you were dead," I continue. "It was the memory of those precious times with you that kept me from going mad," I tell her. "So please, don't let those memories be tarnished by what happened after, I beg you," I say to her.

"I'm trying," she says quietly, and I know she's crying. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close.

"Angel," I whisper in her ear. "My angel." Padmé's hands come up to wrap around my arms that hold her against me. I feel her body relax against mine, and I know that if I don't keep myself in tight control, the proximity of her will turn this innocent embrace into something far more sexual. But I won't let that happen- not unless it's what she needs, what she wants.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," she comments.

"I didn't feel I had the right to," I tell her. "But you will always be that to me," I add. "The most beautiful creature in the universe."

"Ani," she says, and turns to face me, wrapping her arms around my waist, burying her face against my chest. I hold her, simply hold her, content simply to allow her to dictate the course of things. But when she looks up at me, when I see the love she is trying to deny in her eyes, I know I'm helpless.

Taking her face in my hands, I place a long kiss on her forehead, and then press my forehead to hers.

"Make love to me, Anakin," she whispers to me.

I pull back and look down at her. "Here? Are you sure?" I ask.

She nods, moving her hands up to hold my face. "Yes, I'm sure," she replies, pulling me down to her. Our mouths meet in a slow, deep kiss as our arms encircle the other. Her body presses against mine, and I'm sure she can feel how much I want her, how much I need her. My hands make their way under her blouse, and start to caress the soft skin I find there.

I break our kiss and look down at her with a smile. "Come here," I say, taking her hand and leading her to one of the sofas. Padmé does so at once….

_Later…_

Padmé wraps her arms around my neck as we grow still after a few moments, both of us out of breath. I hold her close, simply content to do so for as long as possible. But then I become aware of another presence in the room, and my eyes snap open. I look directly across from where we sit entangled to see Bail Organa staring at us. I can sense that he's shocked, jealous and embarrassed, so I'm quite certain he's been there long enough to know exactly what we're doing. When he notices me glaring at him, he leaves quite hurriedly, nearly tripping over himself to do so.

"Ani? Everything okay?" Padmé asks. She looks up at me questioningly.

"Yes, of course," I tell her, kissing her softly. "That was amazing," I add with a smile.

She smiles. "It was," she agrees. "But I'd better get myself together," she adds, getting off of me. "I would hate to have someone walk in on us," she adds.

"Yes, so would I," I agree, standing up with her. I can't let her know that Organa was watching- she would be utterly mortified if she knew.

"Maybe I should let you get back to work," I tell her as I pull my trousers on.

"Okay," she replies, but I sense that she's a little disappointed that I'm leaving her.

"Are you free for dinner tonight?" I ask her.

"No, Sola is here for a visit," she tells me.

"Oh," I reply. Now I'm disappointed. "How long is she here for?"

"Just another day," she replies. "You could come for dinner at the palace tonight if you like," she offers.

I smile. "I don't think Sola would appreciate me honing in on her time with you," I say. "But thank you."

She nods. "I'm going to get cleaned up before I go home," she tells me. She stands on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. "Thank you," she says.

"What for?" I ask.

She looks up at me. "For giving me just what I needed," she tells me. "I love you, Ani."

I smile. "I love you too," I tell her.

She gives me one last smile and then leaves the room. I pick up my cloak and put it back on, and then go to find a fresher to clean up myself. I need to have a word with Organa, and I'm not exactly looking forward to it.

Chapter 67 _ Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

Organa's assistant is easily manipulated, and I'm able to enter his office quite easily. I find him at his desk, busying himself with paperwork. I can sense that he's very upset, and I know why. Organa's been in love with Padmé for a long time, and it must kill him to realize that she'll never love him back. Tough shit.

"Did you enjoy watching us?" I ask him. He looks up at me with a start, not having heard me enter the room.

"How did you get in here unannounced?" he asks tersely.

"That's rather irrelevant, don't you think?" I ask. "I asked you a question."

He frowns. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he replies, returning his attention to his work.

"No? I think you do," I reply, pulling the datapad out from under him with the force. He looks up at me, daggers in his eyes.

"If you're implying that I meant to see you and…." he says, his face reddening. "I assure you it was the _last _thing I thought I'd see when I came into the room."

I nod. "I believe that," I reply. "The fact remains, you did see us," I add. "I don't want Padmé to know that you did," I continue. "She can never know."

He frowns. "I wasn't planning on telling her," he replies indignantly.

"Good," I reply. "Padmé is a lady, and she would be mortified if she knew that you saw what you did."

"Perhaps you ought to have considered her feelings before you seduced her in such a public place," he retorts.

He is certainly not making it easy for me to keep my cool.

"The fact that I made love to Padmé bothers you, I know it," I reply. "The fact that she wanted me to even more so I'm sure," I add. "I've asked you not to say anything to her, is that too much to ask?"

Organa presses his lips together. "I said that I would not say anything," he snaps. "What more do you want from me?"

"Not a damn thing," I reply. I hesitate before I continue, trying my best not to lash out at him. "Padmé still loves me, Organa," I tell him, unable to resist. "Get used to it, and get over her."

I leave him before I say anything more.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

It's difficult to focus on the work that is waiting for me on my desk, but I must try. This …situation with Anakin is becoming more and more intense, my resolve to keep my heart out of it more and more impossible. I told him that I love him in fact – something I cannot even try to deny. Am I fooling myself, yet again, by pretending that this relationship of ours is purely physical? How can it be when Anakin Skywalker is my soul mate? I've never been a person to second guess myself, to question decisions once I've made them. But am I doing the right thing by denying my feelings for him?

"Padmé? May I have a word with you?" I hear Bail ask me on the comlink. He sounds so formal. Usually when he wants to talk to me he just comes into my office- I wonder why he's acting this way.

"Of course," I say. "What's on your mind?"

He's silent for a moment, and then speaks up. "Would you please come to my office? It's not something I feel comfortable talking about via comlink."

I frown, growing alarmed by his tone of voice. "Very well," I reply. "I'll be right there."

I stand up, slip the datadisc I've been working on in my valise, and leave the office. I'm planning on meeting Sola in another hour so I hope whatever he wants to talk about doesn't take long.

"Everything all right, Bail?" I ask as I step into the doorway of his office. He's standing at the window looking outside and doesn't turn to me right away.

"I'm afraid not," he replies. "I have to tell you something, and I'm not quite sure how to do it."

I frown, starting to grow alarmed. "What is it?" I ask him, walking over to where he's standing. "Tell me."

He turns to me finally. "Anakin Skywalker was just in here," he tells me.

This is the last thing I expected to hear. Perhaps he felt compelled to let Bail know that he still had not heard back from the executors. "Why?" I ask.

"He wanted to tell me something, Padmé," he tells me. "Something …upsetting."

Now I'm really alarmed. "What? What did he say?"

Bail looks away again, almost as though he can't face me. "He told me that you and he had just been having sex in the lounge down the corridor," he says. I am too shocked to speak, and simply stare at him as he continues. "He wanted me to know, Padmé, he …enjoyed telling me," he adds. "No doubt he knows how much I care for you," he continues, looking down at his feet. "And wanted to rub it in, so to speak." He looks up at me, and I can see the hurt in his eyes. "And he did, Padmé," he tells me. "He gloated in a most….disturbing manner. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but…."

"I don't believe you," I interject at last. "Anakin isn't like that anymore," I add. "He's changed!"  
"I know you think so," he replies turning to me. "But can you deny that it happened?"  
Of course I can't. I shake my head, looking away as my face grows warm.

"How else would I know, Padmé?" he asks. "How else would I know about it if he hadn't told me?"

How else indeed….

"I…I can't believe this," I stammer. "I can't believe he'd tell you, that he'd betray my trust, the intimacy we shared!"

Bail sighs. "I'm sorry," he replies. "Truly I am."

He reaches out to embrace me, but I don't let him, and I run out of the office. Humiliated, disillusioned and hurt, I run down the corridor as the hot tears stream down my face. How could you, Anakin? How could you do this to me?

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

"Impressive, most impressive," I say as Obi-Wan demonstrates the latest piece of technology we've acquired for the temple. "That is _really _ cool."

He smiles. "I thought you might think so," he replies, looking at the analysis scanner. "It's far faster than the old one," he explains. "And has a far greater database. I'd wager there's nothing this beauty can't analyse."

I nod, looking over the machine. "I'd have to agree," I say. "We need droids," I tell him, looking up.

"Yes," he agrees. "I don't know if we'll be able to find the same model that we had before," he remarks. "But I'm sure we can find something comparable."  
"Something better," I reply. "Technology has advanced a lot in eighteen year," I remind him. "Just look at this thing."

"True," he replies. "I'll start making inquiries."

"Good," I reply.

"About the lower level, Anakin," he says as I start to leave. "We really do need to do something with it. It's not safe leaving it as it is."

I nod. "I know," I reply. "But so long as it's not used, we can put it off a little longer," I add. "It needs serious work, Obi-Wan. Right now I'd just as soon focus our attention and funds elsewhere."

"Agreed," he replies. "But sooner or later we'll have to make the repairs necessary. We'd never pass a building inspection unless we do. And without an inspection, we can't open this facility."

"I know," I say again. "I'll go down there this week and start making a list of what needs to be done, oaky?"

"Good enough," he replies.

I leave Obi-Wan and head to the archives, another area of the temple we've been focusing on lately. During the years between the purges and now, the vast library was ransacked, the innumerable files either destroyed or stolen. I think Palpatine enjoyed seeing this place decimated, or else he would have taken measures to close it up or tear it down. It will take years to build up the archives again, just as it took years, centuries even, to amass them in the first place. I know that the Empire had a vast intelligence net – that's a start. Of course, many of the records they kept were altered to reflect the Imperial truth, not the real one. Many of them will be useless. But, as I said, it's a start.

I sense someone enter the enormous complex and smile as I realize who it is – Padmé. I guess I'm not the only one who's been unable to stop thinking about our encounter earlier today. I turn to watch her as she walks over to me, but as soon as I see her, I know she's upset. More than upset – what could have happened between the time we parted and now to upset her to this extent?

"Padme, what's…" I'm prevented from asking my question by a sound slap in the face. I put my hand to my cheek and look down at her in shock. Her eyes are full of hurt, of rage – I've never seen her like this, and it frightens me.

"How _could you?" _ she cries as tears fill her eyes. "How could you do such a thing to me? You said you loved me!"

"Padmé, calm down," I say, reaching out to take her by the arms. But she yanks away from me, and steps back.

"Don't touch me," she says, her voice trembling with emotion. "Don't ever touch me again!"

I stop, and let my hands fall to my sides. "Would you please tell me what's wrong?" I ask her. "I have no idea why you're so angry with me."

"No? you didn't think I'd find out?" she asks me. "You didn't think he'd tell me what you did?"

I frown, her words not making any sense to me. "Find out? Who's he? What the hell are you talking about?"  
"Bail, that's who," she replies. "He told me about your little chat."

Oh no…the bastard told her! "Padmé, I made him promise not to say anything to you," I tell her. "Why did he tell you? I was trying to protect you!"

Her eyes widen. "Protect me?" she cries. "How is that protecting me? You _betrayed _ me!"

"How? How did I do that?" I cry, growing more confused. "I would never do that!"

"Then why did you tell Bail that we'd been having sex in the room down the hall from his office?" he asks me. "Why did you feel compelled to gloat about it, to sully what was a beautiful moment between us by talking about me like some cheap tart you picked up at a nightclub somewhere?"

Her words hit me like a blow right to the gut – and I finally realize why she's so angry. Organa lied to her. His jealousy of me is so intense that he would stop at nothing to drive a wedge between Padmé and me, even if it hurts her in the process. And that, more than anything, infuriates me.

"Padmé, listen to me," I say, trying to remain calm. "He's lying to you," I say. "He's twisting the truth and trying to turn you against me," I continue.

"How can you say that?" she cries. "How did he know about us if you didn't tell him?"

"He saw us, Padmé," I tell her. "He walked in when we were making love," I explain. "I saw him, our eyes met- but I didn't want you to know. I knew that if you did, you'd be humiliated. I went to him afterwards and made him promise not to ever tell you that he'd seen us together. And he did – he said he'd never say a word." I stop, watching the expression in her eyes change from one of rage to shock. "And I suppose he kept his word, didn't he?" I ask bitterly. "He _didn't _tell you he saw us together. Instead he lied in order to make you think I'd broken your trust," I continue. "I hope you see now that I did no such thing," I add.

Padmé has said nothing, but her emotions tell me all I need to know. She believes me. And while I'm relieved that she does, it doesn't erase the hurt I feel that she'd ever think me capable of such a thing.

"Anakin, I…I'm sorry," she says finally.

I nod. "Don't worry about it," I say, looking away from her.

"Ani," she says, reaching out and taking my hand. "Please forgive me," she says. "I should have realized that he was lying."

I look back at her. "How could you know?" I ask. "You trust him. You don't trust me, that's pretty clear," I say, the words bitter in my mouth. "Perhaps we're fooling ourselves to think you ever will again," I add.

"What are you saying, Anakin?" she asks, an edge of panic in her voice.

"I don't know," I admit. "I just know that it hurts that you would think I'd ever do such a thing," I tell her. "It hurts more than I can say."

"I'm so sorry," she says again, her voice wracked with emotion.

"Please go," I tell her. "I need to think, I need to sort through all this," I explain.

I can feel her emotions, her regret, her confusion and sorrow. I know she's sorry, I know she believes me. I'm just not sure that's enough.

"I'll go," she says finally. "But please know that I love you, Anakin," she says.

She turns and walks away, leaving me alone to contemplate.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala_

I don't know how I manage to reach the palace in the state I'm in, but I do somehow. I feel dehydrated from crying so much, my heart aches incessantly. I don't know what's going to happen- and it terrifies me to think I may have lost Anakin forever because of this. Ironic – all this time he's been so careful about my feelings, turning himself inside out to avoid hurting me again, and it's me that ends up hurting him. I know the look in his eyes will haunt me forever. How could I have believed something so terrible about him? And why did Bail lie to me this way? I know he has feelings for me- but this goes above and beyond simple rivalry and jealousy. This is mean and vindictive. He intended this to happen, this rift between Anakin and me. This was his plan all along.

"Padmé, where have you been?" Sola asks, meeting me in the great hall. "You said you'd be here over an hour ago! What…" she stops when she sees my face. "Oh Padmé, what's wrong?" she asks with a frown. "What happened?"

I don't say anything, but burst into tears as Sola takes me in her embrace. I'm beyond consoling, for I know what I've done, what I've said can never be taken back. I have broken Anakin's heart, and I don't know if I can ever make it better.

"Padmé, tell me what happened," Sola says, holding me by the shoulders. "You're shaking! What is it?"  
"Oh Sola," I say softly. "I've ruined everything!" I sob.

Sola holds me as I cry, as I do my best to pull myself together.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 68 _ Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

I spend the next fifty-two hours burying myself in work. Both the temple and the ship yards become my homes, I only eat when I need to, and sleep little. It's only through exhausting myself physically this way that I can deal with the ache in my heart. Padmé hasn't contacted me in two days- nor have I made any effort to contact her. I'm sure she knows how I'm feeling- she may not be force sensitive, but she has always managed to figure me out quite well. The only bright spot in all of this is the return of my children. They are coming home later today, and I can't wait to see them. Of course, Padmé will be there to meet them as well. I suppose I can't avoid her forever.

I have decided that today I must attend to the lower level. I've been putting it off for weeks, and I know Obi-Wan is getting suspicious why. Truth be told, I can't explain it. I just have this strange eerie feeling when I go down there, like the ghosts of all the slain Jedi have gathered there en masse to accuse me of their murder. But I have to face that fear, and face them, if indeed there is such thing as ghosts. There's a great deal of work to be done down there, and I need to see exactly what I'm dealing with.

"Need a hand?" Nomi asks me as I reach the lift that will take me to the lower level.

"Sure," I say. "I could use the company," I add, glad to have someone with me.

She smiles. "Thought so," she replies, stepping into the lift with me. "I get the feeling you don't like the thought of going down there alone."

"Well, I don't know about that," I lie.

She laughs. "It's okay," she replies. "The thought of going down there kind of creeps me out too."

I don't argue the point any further. "You can take notes," I tell her. "I'm sure there will be a long list of repairs and renovations that need to be done."

She nods and both of us stumble as the lift jerks into motion. "I think I know the first thing on the list," she remarks.

"This lift has to be five hundred years old," I comment, looking at the old fashioned panel.

"Feels like it," she mutters.

We make it to the lower levels, which I think surprises us both. "Next time, the stairs," I tell her.

"Good idea," she replies. She peers into the darkness. "Do you have any idea where the power relay is for this level?"

"I do," I tell her, "but I'm certain that the wiring down here is too unstable to risk turning the power on. We'll have to rely on this," I tell her, producing an electric lantern. I turn it on, and the room is illuminated.

"That'll do," she replies. "Wow, would you look at all this?"

I nod as I look around the small room, which has been untouched for what seems like centuries. Dust and cobwebs are everywhere, but the remarkable thing about it is the architecture. "Magnificent," I remark, looking at the tall, wooden columns that are around the perimeter of the room. The floor is wood too, something unheard of nowadays.

"This place is a serious fire hazard," she remarks.

I nod, the idea of fire sending shivers down my spine. "Let's see what's in there," I say, indicating a doorway down the ways. "I think it's the only way into the catacombs," I tell her.

"Cool," she says. "Lead the way."

We manage to open the doorway, which is electrically controlled, and step into another foyer. This one is much larger, and has a large wooden table with chairs, probably used one time for the council judging by the size of it. On the walls are ancient oil paintings framed in carved wooden frames.

"We should sell all this," Nomi remarks. "Think of how much money we would make. This stuff must be priceless."

I nod. "I suppose so," I reply. "Let's go down there," I say, indicating a short corridor leading off one side of the room. We head down it, brushing cobwebs from our hair as we do and find a huge archway, again made of wood. Inside is a vast room, a repository it seems, of the many artefacts that have been stored away over the centuries. It would take weeks to look through it all.

"Amazing," she breathes, her eyes wide. "This is just amazing!"

I smile. "And no ghosts," I remark.

She laughs, and starts looking over some of the larger pieces. "I had no idea all of this was down here," she remarks. "Luke and Leia would love to see all this."

"I suppose they would yes," I agree.

"When are they getting home?" she asks.

I check my wrist chrono. "In another couple of hours," I tell her.

"You must have missed them terribly," she comments.

"I have," I agree. "I can't wait to see them again."

She smiles. "You're a good father, Anakin," she replies.

I look at her with a smile. "Thank you," I respond. "I try my best to be."  
She nods. "I know you resent Master Yoda's suggestion of you fathering more children for the Order," she says. "But if you ever decide you want to, I'd be more than honoured to bear your children."

Her words shock me, more than this they make me extremely uncomfortable. "Oh, well, thank you," I mumble, walking away from her.

I can tell she's watching me. "Does that make you uneasy?" she asks.

I don't look at her, and pretend to interest myself with an ancient piece of machinery. "Yes," I admit. "A little."

She walks over to me with a smile. "I'm sorry," she replies. "I'm just being honest," she tells me. "I know you love Luke and Leia's mother," she continues.

I look at her at this point. "I do," I reply.

She nods. "I would never interfere in that," she tells me. "But to procreate with you would be stimulating," she adds with a smile. "You're a very attractive, very virile human, Anakin. You'd be an exciting mate."

She walks away at this point to examine something else in the room. I'm happy she does so.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

"Welcome home!" Dad says, hugging me so tightly he lifts me off of the ground. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too, Daddy," I reply, laughing as he swings me around. He sets me down, and I look up at him. He's not himself, and I study him for a moment to try to read his thoughts and emotions. Whatever it is, it's big. He's more hurt than I've ever seen him. "What's wrong?" I ask as my smile fades.

But, as usual, Dad puts up his guard and I can't see what it is that's bothering him. "Never mind," he tells me, not even trying to deny that he's upset. "It's not important right now," he adds. I frown, knowing that he's covering up big time.

Dad releases me and looks over at Luke who has just been released from Mom's embrace. "Come here, boy," he says, holding out his arms to him. "Give your old man a hug."

I hug Mom next, and she's as upset as he is. Clearly something has happened between the two of them while Luke and I have been away. And judging by the intensity of their feelings, it was something huge.

"Please come back home for dinner with us, Dad," Luke asks. "We have so much to tell you both."

Dad looks at Mom, and I can tell he's uneasy. But he nods in agreement, his love for me and Luke outweighing his uneasiness.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Anakin is pleasant with me over dinner, but guarded. I'm sure he's still as upset as he was days ago. We haven't spoken since then, and he's made no effort to make contact. I hate this, but I don't know what to do to make it better.

Over dinner we listen as Luke and Leia take turns regaling us with their adventures. I listen with a smile, reflecting how grown up they both are now. I see myself in each of them, and the pride I feel for them is immense. I'm so glad that they're home.

"It's great to be home," Luke says as we finish dessert. "I don't know about you, Leia, but I'm bagged," he says, standing up. "I think I'm gonna hit the sack."

"Yeah, me too," Leia agrees. "Will you be at the temple tomorrow?" she asks Anakin.

"Of course," he replies with a nod. "I'm looking forward to spending some time with you both."

"How are the renovations coming?" Leia asks.

"Almost finished," Anakin replies. "We started on the lower level finally."  
"Cool," Luke says. "What's down there, anyway?"

"All sorts of stuff," Anakin tells them. "Some of it close to a thousand years old."

Luke's eyes widen as he looks at his sister. "Sick!" he declares.

"We have _got _to check that out," Leia adds.

Anakin smiles, and then stands up to hug the twins goodnight. "I'll see you tomorrow," he tells them.

"Night Dad," they reply. I get a kiss from each of them before they head upstairs, and then Anakin and I are alone.

"I haven't seen you in days," I begin, looking up at him. "I guess you've been busy."

He nods as he looks down at me. "I have," he replies. He's very guarded, more so than I've ever seen him. "Lots to do still."

"I see," I reply, hating the awkwardness between us. "I miss you," I venture.

Anakin's expression changes, ever so slightly, and he looks away. "I should get going," he says, and I can tell that he's still very hurt.

"You don't have to leave," I reply, standing up. "You're welcome to spend the night. Please spend the night."

He looks back at me. "What do you want from me, Padmé? My company? Or just a quickie?"

I frown, feeling my cheeks grow warm. "Forget it," I say. "I should never have asked."

He doesn't say anything in response, and then leaves me without saying another word.

I sit back down at the table, feeling empty and hurt. Bail Organa is to blame for all this. And perhaps it's time I let him know just how much damage he's done.

Having checked with Bail's assistant, I have learned that he's at home. I don't like the idea of going to his apartment- Force knows he needs very little encouragement. But this won't keep. I need to get this cleared.

Bail's apartment is in the next building over from the one where Anakin lives, and I have to resist the urge to go there to try and make things right between Anakin and me. He's still angry, I know he is. But he loves me, so I'm confident that in time he will calm down. At least, I'm hoping so. I'm not sure what I will do if that time never comes.

"Padmé! What a pleasant surprise!" Bail says upon seeing me at his door. He's wearing casual clothes, and I can smell dinner cooking. "Please come in."

I enter the apartment, glancing around briefly at the neatly kept abode. He's so different from Anakin. Everything here is neat and organized and efficient. Anakin's apartment is like an explosion of clothing and machine parts and other things I can't even recognize.

"Have you eaten yet?" Bail asks me. I look back at him. "Dinner's almost finished," he adds.

"I have, thank you," I reply. "I haven't come here on a social call, Bail," I add. "I have something very serious to talk to you about."

Bail's expression changes, and his smile disappears. "I see," he replies. "Well then please, have a seat," he adds.

"I'd prefer to stand," I reply, deciding I don't want to be here that long.

"As you wish," he replies. "What's on your mind, Padmé? You seem quite agitated."

"Agitated? You might say so," I reply. "Furious is more like it," I add. "Splenetic, even," I add.

"For what reason?" he asks. "Has Skywalker done something?" he asks with a frown. I lose it at this point.

"No, Anakin has _not _done anything," I retort. "In fact, he didn't _do_ anything in the first place," I add.

"What are you talking about?" he asks. "I'm confused."

"Don't you _dare _stand there and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!" I cry. "I know what really happened the other day," I continue. "I know you walked in Anakin and me," I add.

His face reddens, but he says nothing.

"I know why you lied to me, Bail," I continue. "You wanted to drive a wedge between me and Anakin," I add. "Well you did, congratulations."

"Padmé, I.."

"Don't," I say, putting a hand up. "There's nothing you can say to make this better. I've ruined my relationship with the only man I will ever love because of your lie," I tell him, growing emotional. "And because of you I have probably lost Anakin forever. And while I know you don't care about that, consider Leia in all of this. If you truly love her as you claim to, you might want to make more of an effort to consider her father's well being," I tell him. "Leia loves Anakin, and if she knew what you've done to hurt him, she would never forgive you. I know I won't," I add. "In fact, I'm terminating our professional relationship as of right now."

Bail frowns. "What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean that I'm finished," tell him. "I quit," I add, and then turn and leave him.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 69 _ Voice of Luke Skywalker _

I can't wait to get to the Temple, but it seems as though school is never going to end. It's so hard to get back into lectures when we've had so much freedom and fun for the past three weeks. And yet, I suppose it's necessary. Besides, Leia and I are graduating at the end of the term. I guess I can put up with teachers for that much longer. And once we do, we can dedicate our time fully to becoming Jedi. I can't wait.

Leia and I meet up at the hangar at the end of the day, as always.

"How was your day?" she asks as we walk together to our speeder.

I shrug. "Good as it gets I suppose," I reply.

She nods. "Did you see Eva?" she asks with a smile.

"No," I reply. "I think I'm over her, anyway," I tell her.

Leia looks at me to see if I'm telling the truth. "Really? Why? I thought you were crazy about her."

"I was," I reply. "But she's rather annoying it turns out," I add. "So I'm not any more."

She smirks. "I could have told you _that _weeks ago," she declares as we get into the speeder.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, sure," I sigh. "Let's go."

We arrive at the temple and are met in the main foyer by Nomi. She smiles warmly upon seeing us.

"Welcome back," she says, hugging each of us. "Did you have a pleasant trip?"  
"Yes," Leia replies, speaking for us. "It was phenomenal!"  
Nomi smiles. "I know how much your father missed you both," she tells us. I'm sure he must be thrilled to have you home."

"He is," I tell her. "Both our parents are."

Nomi nods. "Of course," she replies. "You're lucky to have such devoted parents," she adds.

Leia smiles. "We know," she replies. "Where is he, anyway? Our father?"

"He's not here right now," she tells us, much to our disappointment. "He needed to go out and purchase a few things before he starts his repairs of the lower level."

"He told us about that," I tell her. "He said that there were all kinds of cool stuff down there."  
"Oh there is," Nomi tells us. "I was with him when he checked it out," she adds. "The whole level is full of ancient relics and antiques. It's simply amazing."

"Really?" I ask, looking at Leia. "Think we could go down and check it out for ourselves?" I ask hopefully.

"I don't see why not," she replies. "Just be careful, it's pretty dark. Bring a lantern with you."

"We will," Leia replies. She looks at me. "Let's go," she says, her excitement clear.

I nod in agreement.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker_

I'm frustrated that I haven't heard back yet from Palpatine's executors, and have considered flying to Naboo myself to meet with them. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of getting away for a few days. And yet, Luke and Leia have just returned, and I want to spend time with them. Besides, Naboo is not exactly the best place to go in order to put Padmé out of my mind. It seems as though nothing is going my way these days.

I arrive back at the temple and head for the gymnasium, deciding that a quick work out will help alleviate some of the stress I'm under. Luke and Leia aren't here yet, so I have some time. Besides, the task before me is rather daunting. It will take months to get that lower level fixed and ready for inspection. Somehow I just can't seem to garner the motivation to do it right now.

I've been working out for nearly thirty minutes when Obi-Wan enters the gymnasium. He comes right over to me, and I sense that he's concerned about me. I ignore him, however, and continue working on my lats.

"Anakin, I've been trying to reach you on your communicator," he tells me.

"I turned it off," I tell him between reps.

He frowns. "Why?" he asks.

"I don't want to talk to Padmé," I respond.

"I see," he replies. "Is that really the best way to handle the situation?" he asks.

"Probably not," I admit. "But I don't have any better solutions right now."

"I just saw her on the holonet," he tells me.

"Oh yeah?" I ask. "That's nice." She's on it all the time. Big deal.

"She has resigned as chancellor," he tells me. "Effective immediately."

I look up at him in shock. "What?" I ask. "Why?"

"I don't know," he replies. "She said it was for personal reasons. Perhaps she means the twins."

"Yeah, probably," I reply. I'm shocked that she would do this, and wonder if what happened with Organa has anything to do with her decision.

"I know you're having issues with Padmé right now," Obi-Wan says. "But your comlink is rather important. There are many of us who need to contact you, Anakin. Not the least of which are your children." he reminds me. "Didn't you think about that?"

I sigh, and let my arms drop. "No," I reply. "I guess not." I look at the comlink on my wrist, realizing that I can't neglect my children simply because I'm at odds with their mother. I'm about to switch it on when I get a very strong sense of fear, of terror, and it's coming from Luke and Leia. I look up at Obi-Wan, and see in his eyes that he has sensed it too. Switching on my comlink, I stand up with a sense of urgency. "Luke? Leia? Where are you?"

"Dad!" I hear Luke's voice. It's full of relief. "Where have you been? We're trapped, Dad!"

"Trapped where?" I reply, my panic starting to grow. "Where are you son?"  
"In the lower level," I hear him say. "The exit is blocked Dad, we can't get out!"

"Blocked by what?" I ask, starting to run towards the stairs down to the lower level. Obi-Wan runs along with me.

"Fire!" Luke shouts and coughs. "I don't know how it started, but there's a fire that's blocking…" he stops as he coughs some more, and I hear Leia coughing too. Fire – fire is threatening my children. I have to save them.

"Get a fire extinguisher," I tell Obi-Wan, "and meet me down there right away!"

"I will," he replies, and runs off to find an extinguisher as I race down the stairs. The smell of smoke hits me as I do, and I know that the fire is already raging. The entrance that I was in yesterday with Nomi is thick with smoke, but I see no fire. And then I see it- flames coming out of the doorway that leads into the conference room.

"Luke, where are you?" I call desperately into my comlink.

"We're in the storeroom," he replies, his voice hoarse. "We've managed to keep away from the fire, but we can't get out."

"I'm right here," I tell them, reaching the doorway. "I'm coming."

I stand at the doorway, knowing that on the other side is a raging inferno. But I also know that this door is the only way to get to my children. My precious son and daughter. I have to get to them before they suffer from smoke inhalation, before the unthinkable happens.

"Cover your faces with your hoods," I tell Luke as I focus on the doorway, willing it to open using the force. "I'm coming in."

The door slides open, and I have to jump back as flames burst forth. I have no hood to put him, for I'm wearing work out gear. I pull off my tunic quickly and cover my nose and mouth, knowing that it will afford me little protection, but it's better than nothing. I can't wait for Obi-Wan, who I know is looking frantically for a fire extinguisher. If Luke and Leia are to be saved, I have to go in now.

The fire is raging hot, and it surrounds me as I enter the room. I do my best to avoid it, but I can feel it threatening to ignite my clothing at every turn. Memories of Mustafar jump to my mind as I make my way through the inferno, threatening to paralyse me with fear. I push them aside and carry on, knowing my children's lives depend on me and me alone at this point. I finally make it to the corridor, where there are no flames but the air is still heavy with smoke. I use the Force to guide me, for my eyes are stinging and the air is too smoke filled to see. I find Luke and Leia in the huge repository, hiding behind a large piece of furniture.

"Dad!" Leia cries as I reach them. They seem unharmed, more scared than hurt. "Thank the Maker!"

"Come with me," I say, reaching my hands out to them. "Keep your faces covered."

"What about you?" Luke asks.

"Don't worry about me," I tell them, taking them by the hands. "Stick close and keep your faces covered, you understand?"

They nod, and pull their cowls down to cover their faces, holding them closed with their free hands. I hold their hands tightly and head back down the corridor, hoping against hope that Obi-Wan has arrived and is putting out the fire. I can hear the sound of spraying, and know that he's arrived. It's a good thing, I'm not sure how we'd have made it out otherwise.

"Almost there," I tell them. I can feel the smoke in my throat, in my nose, and start to cough. My eyes are watering, but I can't stop now. Obi-Wan has the flames under control, his own face protected with the mask that the extinguisher comes equipped with. Luke and Leia run for the door, but I can't seem to make my own legs move fast enough. They start to pull me along, and I can hear them shouting at me encouragingly.

"Dad, are you okay?"

"Daddy what's wrong? We're almost there!"  
"Hurry Anakin, the fire's almost out!"  
"Dad? DAD?"

_Voice of Leia Skywalker _

"Obi-Wan help us!" I cry as my father collapses. Obi-Wan rushes to our aide, and helps us get Dad to the lift.

"What happened to him?" Luke asks anxiously.

Obi-Wan frowns, looking down at Dad. "Exposure to the smoke," he says. "I'm sure of it." He looks up at us. "We have to get him to a hospital immediately."

I don't like the tone of his voice, it's scaring me.

"He's going to be okay, right?" I ask. "He wasn't burned."  
"No, he wasn't," Obi-Wan agrees. "But smoke inhalation can be just as dangerous as the actual flames," he reminds me.

Luke and I look at each other, each of us thinking the same thing: this is our fault.

"Nomi, get a medical capsule and meet us at the north end," Obi-Wan is saying into his comlink. "Anakin's been injured."

"Right away!" we hear her respond. It's a good thing Obi-Wan is here- I know neither Luke nor I would know what to do, and right now I'm so scared and worried I'm totally useless.

"You'd better contact your mother," Obi-Wan tells us as Luke and he lift Dad into the medical capsule.

"I will," I say. "But I'm coming with you," I add.

"Of course," Obi-Wan replies. "You both should be checked out as well."

I nod and follow along with Nomi as Luke and Obi-Wan guide the capsule to the hangar where they load it into a speeder. We all get in and head out at once. I'm shaking, and doing my best not to cry. It won't do any good- what's done is done. My father risked his life to safe me and Luke's and now his own life is in danger. I feel numb thinking about it- and cannot even allow myself to think the unthinkable.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"Padmé, I wish you'd reconsider."  
I look up from my packing to see Bail in my doorway. "No," I reply, returning to my task. "I can't work with you anymore, Bail, not now," I tell him.

"But I apologized," he points out. "Why can't we get past this?"

I look up at him again. He's so utterly clueless that it's annoying. "Bail, apologies don't always work," I tell him. "You can't take back what you did, just as I can't take back what I did, what I said to Anakin," I tell him. "What's done is done."

He watches me as I finish up my packing. I know he feels badly, but I don't care. Anakin's been hurt by all of this, by Bail's insecurities and jealousy. And that, to me, is unforgivable.

"I really didn't intend for this to happen," he says. I don't look at him, but he continues nonetheless. "It wasn't my intention to come between you and Anakin."

"No? Then what _was_ your intention?" I ask, standing up and closing my valise. "I can't imagine what could have motivated you except doing just that."  
"You know I care about you," he states. "I suppose I was just being protective," he offers. "I know you don't trust Anakin, neither do I. I was just afraid that you were going to be hurt by him again by being involved with him."

"Just stop," I say, looking at him finally. "Please. Your words mean nothing," I tell him. "I never should have believed that Anakin would do such a thing, and now I've probably ruined…" I stop as my comlink sounds. "What is it?"

"Mom, it's me, it's Leia," I hear my daughter say. Her voice sounds odd, like she has a bad cold. What's more, she sounds terrified and upset.

"Leia, what's wrong?" I ask, sitting down at my desk. "Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine," she replies. "It's Daddy," she says, and I can tell she's crying. "He's hurt, Mom! We're taking him to the hospital right now."  
My heart misses several beats, and for a moment I can't even form words. "Hurt? How? What's wrong? What happened?" I cry.

"There was a fire," she tells me, and I feel my mouth grow dry. "Dad saved us, Mom! Luke and I were trapped and he saved us! But now he's…" she stops and starts to sob.

"Where are you taking him?" I ask, standing up. "Which hospital?"  
"I don't know," she replies tearfully. "Obi-Wan, which…? Oh …Mercy Outreach," she tells me. "We're there now."

"I'm on my away," I tell her, leaving my things behind. I run down the corridor, saying a silent prayer that the worst fears in my heart won't be realized.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

The ride to the hospital seems endless I've tried to reach my father but I can't. Neither can Leia. It terrifies me when we're disconnected from him this way. If only we hadn't gone down to the lower level, this wouldn't have happened. And yet, how did the fire start? We did nothing that could have caused it, at least not to my knowledge.

As soon as we arrive at the hospital droids whisk Dad away to the ICU. A nurse escorts me and Leia into an examination room to check us out.

"We're fine," Leia tries to tell a medical droid. It ignores us, however, and fits us with oxygen masks.

"This is standard procedure for fire victims," it informs us finally. "The doctor will examine you shortly."

The droid takes our blood pressure and attaches a blood-oxygen indicator on each of us. It all seem unnecessary to me. Dad is the one who's hurt, not us.

"Luke, Leia!"

Mom rushes over to us and embraces us tightly. "Thank the Maker you're both all right!"

I can sense how upset and frightened she is, and realize she must be as worried about Dad as we are.

"We're fine, Mom," Leia tells her. "None of this is necessary."

"Let's let the doctor decide that," Mom says. She glances back at the doorway. "I wish he'd hurry up," she adds.

I know she's anxious to find out how Dad is. We all are.

We don't have to wait long before a doctor comes in to check us out. She decides that we could use some further oxygen treatment, which frustrates us both.

"We're going to be here a while," Leia tells Mom. "Why don't you go and see how Dad is doing? I'm really worried about him."

"So am I," I add.

Mom nods. "Good idea," she replies. " I'll go and see what I can find out," she says. She gives us each a kiss and then leaves us.

"I can't reach Dad at all, Luke," Leia tells me once Mom has done.

"No, me neither ," I respond.

"What if we lose him?" she asks. "It will be all our fault, Luke!"  
I frown, not even allowing myself to consider such a thing. "We _won't_ lose him, Leia," I tell her. "Dad's too strong to lose this fight. He's been through much worse, remember?"  
Leia nods. "I just wish they'd release us so we could go and see him," she sighs.

"So do I," I agree. But all we can do is wait and try to be patient. Not something either of us are very good at.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I say a silent prayer of thanks that Luke and Leia are unharmed. But their father's condition is still of great concern. I'm trying not to think of what could happen as I make my way to the ICU. The thought of losing Anakin will make me go mad if I think about. Obi-Wan and Nomi are in the waiting area when I arrive.

"Padmé," Obi-Wan says, coming over to me at once. He takes me by the hands. "How are the twins?" he asks.

"They're fine," I tell him. "Just getting some oxygen as a precaution," I add. "How's Anakin? Have you learned anything?"

"Nothing yet," Nomi tells me, joining us. "The doctors are in with him now."

I nod in understanding, my anxiety level only getting worse. "How did this happen?" I ask them. "How did a fire get started?"  
"The only thing we can attribute it to is faulty wiring," Obi-Wan tells me. "The lower level is very old, and very unsound."  
"So why were they down there?" I ask. "Surely they knew the dangers!"

"I'm not sure, Padmé," Obi-Wan sighs. "All I know is that by the time I reached the lower level, the fire was raging. Anakin went into it to save them, Padmé. He risked his life for them."

"I know," I say, my voice losing its strength as my hold on my emotions weakens. "He's terrified of fire," I say aloud, my voice sounding tremulous. "And yet…" I stop as the tears I've tried to keep at bay come at last. Obi-Wan embraces me, trying to console me. _And yet he faced an inferno to save our children. _

"Are you the family of Anakin Skywalker?"

Obi-Wan releases me at once, and we both look up anxiously.

"I'm his wife," I say at once, not giving it a second thought. "How is he? Is he all right?"  
"Come and sit down, Mrs. Skywalker," he says, in a tone that is far too gentle. It can only be bad news if he feels the need to be this gentle.

I let Obi-Wan lead me to the small office that is nearby, and we sit down to listen to the doctor's prognosis.

"Please tell me how my husband is," I say.

"Your husband has suffered severe exposure to smoke, as well as a number of dangerous chemicals," he begins. "We have induced a coma in order to give his body an opportunity to recover, while we treat him with a bacta and oxygen mist to repair the poison damage to his lungs."

"He's in a coma right now?" Obi-Wan asks.

"Yes," the doctor replies. "It's standard procedure in such cases. We needed to act fast in order to prevent total respiratory failure," he explains.

"So he's going to be all right then?" I ask hopefully.

"It's too early to say one way or another," the doctor replies. "Your husband is young, and from what I can tell very physically fit," he continues. "This will help him. But with severe exposure of this nature, we can't say for sure."

"I see," I reply quietly. "May I see him?" I ask.

"You understand he's on full life support," the doctor says. "He won't be able to communicate with you at all."

"I understand that," I reply. "I still want to see him. I need to be with him."

The doctor nods. "Of course," he replies. "Come with me."

Luke and Leia have joined Nomi when Obi-Wan and I follow the doctor back to the waiting area. I fill them in quickly, for I'm anxious to see Anakin.

"We're coming with you," Luke says.

"Of course," I say. I turn to the doctor. "These are our children," I explain. "Please show us to my husband."

The doctor nods, and leads us out of the waiting area down the corridor to the ICU. We follow him into a room that is full of medical equipment and droids. On the far side of the room is a bed. I feel my throat constrict when I see Anakin upon the bed, his face covered with a ventilator, his body hooked up to life support machines. We walk over to him, and I can see Leia wiping tears from her face. I take her hand as we reach Anakin's bedside.

"This never would have happened to him if we hadn't been so stupid," Luke says with a frown. "This is our fault."  
"You can't think that way," I tell my son. "You didn't start the fire. Don't blame yourselves."

"But we turned on the power," Leia tells me. "Nomi told us that was how the fire started."

I frown, wishing she hadn't said anything. "But you didn't know that was going to happen, did you?"

They both shake their heads.

"Then don't do this," I tell them. "Your father wouldn't want you to either," I say, looking down at Anakin. "He's going to be fine," I add, trying to add conviction to my voice. "I know things look bad right now, but he will get through this."

Luke looks up at me. "We can't reach him, Mom," he tells me. "Neither of us."

This alarms me, but I can't let them see how afraid I am. "He's in a coma," I tell them. "That's why you can't reach him. Remember when he was recovering from his surgery? Could you reach him then?"

"Not right away, no," Luke replies.

"Towards the end of his recovery we could," Leia adds.

"And I'm sure once he's at the end of this recovery you will as well," I tell them. I have to be optimistic for their sake; they are so intuitive I know they will sense my fear if I allow them to.

"Mom, you told the doctor that Dad was your husband," Leia says. "Why did you lie?"

I look down at Anakin. "I didn't lie," I tell her. "He _is_ my husband."

"But you divorced him more than a year ago," Luke points out.

I shake my head. "I never filed the papers," I admit to them. "I couldn't do it."

They are silent for a moment, and I look up to see their faces, which both bear expressions of shock.

"You never filed them?" Leia asks.

I shake my head.

"So you and Dad have been married all along?" Luke asks.

I nod.

"Does he know that?" Luke asks.

"He does now," I tell them. "He found out only a few weeks ago."  
Leia frowns. "Why didn't you tell him, Mom?" she asks. "He loves you so much. He's been miserable without you."

I nod, and look down at Anakin, tears filling my eyes as the guilt from our last conversation fills me. "I know," I say quietly. "I suppose I was just too afraid to trust him again," I tell them.

"And now?" Leia asks. "He risked his life to save me and Luke," she reminds me. "Are you able to trust him now?"  
"Yes," I reply without hesitation. I look back up at them. "I trust him completely now," I tell them.

"Then Dad can come back home," Luke states.

I nod, and then an idea comes to me. "Yes he can," I agree. "As a matter of fact, why don't we make that happen while we're waiting for him to recover?"

"What do you mean?" Luke asks.

I smile, and then fill them in on my plan.

_Voice of Leia Skywalker_

Luke and I leave Mom at Dad's side, and both of us are sure that she won't leave him until he's in perfect health again. It's too bad that it's taken this crisis for her to realize how much she loves and needs him- but if she does now, then that's what counts.

"I don't know if Dad is going to like us doing this," Luke says as we enter the security code to his apartment. "He's not exactly the type of man who enjoys being controlled."

"This isn't controlling him," I point out as we ride up the lift. "this is how it should be, Luke," I continue. "How it should have been months ago. Dad will be happy about it, I'm sure."

Luke sighs. "I hope so," he replies. "I'm really fed up with the two of them fighting," he comments.

"I don't think they're going to fight any more, Luke," I tell him. "I just have this feeling that this incident will smooth over any and all of their misgivings about being together."

"Well, let's hope…" Luke says as we enter Dad's apartment. He stops as the lights go on and we look around. "Whoa," he says. I can only nod my head in agreement. "I guess Dad never had time to program a droid to keep the place tidy," he comments.

"I guess not," I agree as we stand and look around. The apartment is large, but there are bits of machinery everywhere, piles of stuff, even clothes. I had no idea my father was such a slob.

"This is going to take longer than we anticipated," I tell Luke.

"Yeah, no kidding," he agrees. "Maybe we should get some help with this, otherwise we'll be here for days."

I smile. "Weeks!" I laugh.

Luke laughs too. "Come on," he says. "You contact Threepio and I'll see what the rest of the place looks like."

"Good plan," I agree, and look around to find the comm. somewhere in this mess our father's been calling home.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 70 _ Voice of Padmé Amidala _

Anakin's recovery has been slow but steady. He has remained in a coma for almost two days now, and according the doctors he's progressing well. Of course, until they remove him from life support and awaken him, they won't know for sure. I haven't left the hospital since I first arrived two days ago, and have been sleeping on a small cot inside of his room. Although, sleeping is something of an exaggeration at this point. I've had very little sleep actually, which I suppose isn't surprising given the circumstances.

Luke and Leia have been here a great deal as well, though they've spent a lot of time packing up Anakin's apartment. I wasn't surprised when they told me how messy it was: Anakin was never a tidy person.

"Morning Mom," Leia says as she enters the room. She stops and gives her father a kiss on the cheek, as she does every day, and then comes over to me to do the same. "Did you sleep last night at all?"  
"A little," I tell her. "Where's Luke?"  
"He went to the refectory," Leia tells me. "He missed breakfast because I wanted to get here early," she explains.

"Ah, well he must be weak with hunger," I remark.

Leia rolls her eyes. "You know it," she replies. "Are they waking Dad up this morning? Or do we have to wait until later?"  
"I don't know," I respond. "They haven't been in yet." I stand up and walk over to Anakin's bedside and pick up one of his hands. "I just hope when they do revive him he's all right," I add.

"He will be," Leia assures me, coming over to stand beside me. "Dad's very strong," she reminds me. "And far _far _too stubborn to let this beat him."  
I smile. "That's certainly true," I reply. "I just want him back, Leia," I tell her, knowing she will hear the second meaning in my words. "I need him back."

Leia puts her arm around my waist, not saying a word but comforting me nonetheless.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Hospital food is gross. There's no doubt of it now. After finding a long, green hair in my granola, I quickly lost my appetite and left the refectory to go upstairs. Leia is already waiting with Mom when I arrive.

"Hi Mom," I say, kissing my mother. I'm amazed at her loyalty to my father during this crisis – she hasn't left his side.

"Good morning Luke," she replies. "Did you get something to eat?"  
"Well, sort of," I reply, grimacing as I remember the hair. "I'm not that hungry anyway," I tell her. She and Leia exchange an amazed look, but don't say anything. "So what's going on? Are they reviving Dad soon?"

"We don't know anything yet," Leia tells me.

"It will be sometime today," Mom adds. "I suppose it depends on his condition and how busy they are."

I nod as I watch my father sleeping. "We got all his junk over to the palace," I tell Mom. "We had the droids just pile it in one of the empty rooms upstairs. I didn't know what else to do with it."

"Your father can sort it out when he's well enough," Mom says. She ponders for a moment. "I think we need to get a recovery room prepared for him as well," she adds. "I plan to bring him home once he's able to leave here."

I like the sound of that. "Do you think he'll be happy about us moving all his stuff?" I ask. "You know how he hates being bossed around."  
Mom shrugs. "He'll have to accept it," she replies. "Until he's up and about, _I'm _the boss."

Leia and I exchange an amused look, both of us happy to see our mother wanting to look after our father this way.

"I can contact Threepio and get him to start preparing a room," Leia offers. "I'm sure he'd be happy to move more stuff," she adds with a smirk. I laugh, just picturing him.

"Good morning everyone," a doctor says as she enters the room. There have been so many different ones coming in and out of Dad's room over the past coupe of days that I don't remember any of their names.

"Good morning Doctor Ermes," Mom says, obviously knowing them better than me. "We were just wondering when you'd be reviving my husband."

The doctor looks over the data on Dad's chart. "Anxious, are we?" she remarks.

"You could say so," Mom replies.

Doctor Ermes looks up at us. "You understand that reviving him doesn't guarantee that he's stable enough to be taken off of life support."

Her words dispel the happy mood that my mother, sister and I have been enjoying, reminding us all too clearly the danger that our father still may be in.

"We understand that," Mom replies. "But we're anxious nonetheless," she adds. She looks down at Dad. "I'd like to take him home to recover as soon as possible," she adds.

"I understand," the doctor replies. "Well, we can begin the IV immediately," she tells us. "The meds will revive him in a matter of a few minutes."

"You mean our father will be awake in a few minutes?" Leia asks hopefully.

"Assuming all is well, yes," the doctor tells us. "But not lucid, not right away," she adds. "He'll be groggy for some time still," she explains. "But having you here talking to him will help him wake up fully."

Mom nods. "Then please proceed," she says. "I think we're all eager to see him awake."

"Very well," Ermes says. "I'll be right back with a medical droid."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

The three of us watch as a medical droid inject the IV that is connected to Anakin with what I assume is some sort of stimulant. As it is doing so, a second droid is removing him from the life support. It seems to be taking a very long time, though I know it's only been a few minutes. Doctor Ermes is present also, watching Anakin's vital signs closely. Although I'm not a doctor, I know there will only be a few moments to spare should Anakin be unable to function on his own. They will have to work fast to get him back on the life support before he suffers from heart or pulmonary failure.

"Well? Is he all right?" I hear myself ask, the anxiety in my voice clear.

Ermes doesn't take her eyes from the monitor. "A moment please," she says. We all watch with breath held as the last of the life supports are removed, and Anakin is left to breath on his own. One second, two…and then ten pass, and he seems to be doing so.

"Well?" Luke asks, as impatient as I am.

"His heart is stable," Ermes reports. "And he's breathing on his own," she adds.

"Doctor Ermes, blood gasses report normal," one of the droids tells her.

"Good," she replies. She looks over us and smiles. "He's going to be fine," she tells us.

"Thank the Maker!" Leia exclaims.

"Is it okay if we talk to him now?" Luke asks.

"Yes," the doctor replies. "It will help rouse him if you do."

We don't need to be told a second time.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

"_Anakin, can you hear me? The doctor says you're going to be fine."_

"_We're all here Dad. Please try to wake up."_

"_We miss you Daddy. Please open your eyes!"_

I an hear the voices of my family close by, I can sense their presence as well. I am trying to open my eyes, but they are so heavy and my lethargy so great I can't manage it. I don't know why I feel this way. The last thing I remember is helping Luke and Leia to safety, and the fire. I guess I must have passed out from the smoke.

"Ani, please open your eyes," I hear Padmé say. I can feel her holding my hand, while one of my children holds the other. Their emotions seem awfully intense, and I wonder if there's more to my condition than I realize. I fight to open my eyes, and manage to open them part way. Everything is blurry, the lights in the room too bright.

"He's opening his eyes!" I hear Luke exclaim. "Come on Dad, you can do it!"

I try to focus, try my damnest to communicate with my family, but I'm simply too weak and my eyes close again.

"It's all right," I hear Padmé say. "You rest. We're not going anywhere." She kisses me then, and I drift off once more, surrounded by my family as I do so.

I wake up later, not sure how long I've been asleep. But I notice that I'm a little stronger this time, and look around the room. Padmé is asleep in a chair on the other side of the room, a blanket pulled up around her. I'm puzzled that she'd sleep here instead of going home, but decide not to wake her up simply to ask her about it.

"Ah, you're awake," a nurse states as she walks into my room. She comes over to the bed I'm in and peers at my face. "How are you feeling?" she asks, looking up at the chart next.

"Okay I guess," I reply. "Not as groggy as I was earlier."

She nods. "Good," she replies. "Any pain? Shortness of breath? Dizziness?"

"No," I reply, a little confused by all her questions. I can sense her attentiveness, and get the feeling that there's more to this hospital stay than I know. "How long was I out for, anyway?"

She looks down at me again. "More than two full days," she informs me. "Of course, the coma was…"

"Coma?" I ask, trying to sit up. I'm far too weak to manage, and fall back against my pillow. "Did you say _coma?"_

"Yes I did," she replies. "Medically induced, of course," she adds, her words doing nothing to alleviate my confusion. "It was necessary in order to give you the treatment you needed."

"Treatment? What kind of treatment are you talking about?" I ask. "I simply …passed out," I add.

"I'm afraid it was a lot more than simply passing out," the nurse informs me. "We nearly lost you, Anakin," she tells me. "In fact, without the quick actions of the medical team, we probably would have."

Her words shock me, for I had no idea that my condition was so serious. The last thing I remember was getting Luke and Leia to the door. I remember the smoke was very thick, and I was having trouble seeing, and then trouble breathing…but I had no idea things were as dire as what they apparently were.

"I guess I was lucky then," I say.

"I'd say so," she agrees. Just then Luke and Leia enter the room, their smiles nearly reaching their ears when they see me awake.

"Dad!" Luke says, reaching my bedside first. "How are you feeling?"

"We've been so worried!" Leia adds, taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.

"I'm fine, really," I assure them, hoping that it's true. I look at the nurse. "I am, aren't I?" I ask her.

"So far you seem to have recovered fully, yes," she responds. "I think I will contact Dr. Ermes and have her examine you now that you're fully awake," she adds. "I'll be right back."

The nurse leaves us, and I look back at my children. "What happened?" I ask them. "All I remember is leading you to the door and Obi-Wan putting out the fire," I tell them.

"You passed out," Leia tells me. "We had to rush you here in a medical capsule."  
I frown. "Really?"

"Yeah, you were so out of it that we couldn't even reach you telepathically," Luke tells me. "It scared the crap out of us."

I'm sure it must have. I look over at where Padmé is still asleep. "Why is your mother sleeping in here?" I ask them. "Why wasn't she home with you?"

"She refused to leave you, Dad," Leia tells me. "She hasn't left the hospital since you were admitted."

I look at Padmé, my daughter's words shocking me. "Really?"

"Yeah," Luke adds. "She had the nurses set up a cot in here, but she's hardly been sleeping at all since you've been out," he adds. "I'm glad she's getting some sleep now at least."

I nod, puzzled by Padmé's stubborn dedication to me. The last time we spoke she accused me of betraying her. _But then she realized that she'd been lied to and begged you for forgiveness…that's really how things ended up. _

"She wants you back home, Dad," Leia tells me. "In fact…" Leia stops, and I sense that her brother has warned her somehow not to continue.

"In fact what?" I ask her. "What is she talking about?" I ask Luke, turning to him next.

But my son is prevented from replying by the timely entrance of a grey-haired doctor I don't remember seeing.

"Hello Anakin," she says, standing beside my bed. "And welcome back. I'm Doctor Ermes."

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

I wake up and hear my husband's voice. Immediately I look over and am astonished to see him sitting up in bed and talking to Doctor Ermes. I walk over at once to join them.

"How is he, Doctor?" I ask.

Both Anakin and the doctor look up at me. Anakin gives me a smile, and I feel my heart swell at the sight of it.

"He's doing splendidly," Doctor Ermes informs me. "Remarkably well in fact."

I smile, and look down at Anakin. "Thank the Maker," I say. "We've all been so afraid," I tell him.

Anakin nods. "The children tell me you've been here all along," he says. "That you wouldn't leave."

"That's right," I tell him. "Where else would I be?"

Anakin smiles again, and I can see in his eyes that he understands.

I look back at the doctor. "How soon can he be released?" I ask her.

She frowns at my question, and I know that the news isn't about to be good.

"He will need to convalesce for a minimum of five weeks, probably six," she tells me.

"Six weeks?" Anakin cries. "Are you kidding me?"

The doctor looks back at him. "You've had a very serious brush with the after life, Anakin," she reminds him. "I'm not sure you understand the gravity of your condition."

"But you just said he's fine," Luke points out.

"He is recovering well," Ermes says. "But that doesn't mean he's ready just to resume life as though nothing happened. Not by a long shot. Fortunately for him the damage was not extensive but we want to monitor for complications nevertheless."

"What complications are you talking about?" I ask, not liking the sound of it.

"There's a number of things that could happen," she tells me, "but the most likely would be difficulty breathing," she explains. "Which would indicate pulmonary complications," she continues. "In addition, he will also need continued respiratory treatments, blood work, rehab…"

"I get the picture," Anakin sighs. "I'm stuck here for months."

"I'm sorry Anakin, but you don't want to jeopardize your health, do you?"

Doctor Ermes asks.

"Of course not," he replies, looking away. I can see how frustrated he is.  
"What if he recovers somewhere else?" I suggest.

"What do you mean?" she asks me.

"I mean what if you release him to my care," I tell her. "I promise you that I will ensure that he rest and rehab he need," I continue, "and that he gets checked regularly by medical droids. I can assure you that he is the _worst _patient you will ever have, Doctor," I tell her, ignoring Anakin's look of protest. "He will not be an easy man to care for."

Ermes looks amused, and then looks down at Anakin. "Well? What do you think of your wife's suggestion, Anakin?"

Anakin looks at me, and I can see the surprise in his eyes. "I…I think it's a great idea," he says, looking at me in the way I know means he's trying to read my mind. I decide to let him. _I want you back, Anakin, please come home with me. Please let me take care of you. _ He smiles and looks back up to the doctor again. "I think it's a _fantastic_ idea," he amends. "When can I leave?"  
Ermes smiles. "Is forty-eight hours too long to ask for?" she asks.

"I think that's reasonable," I comment. "Don't you, Ani?"  
He looks back up at me and nods. "I can live with that," he replies.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

The next twenty-four hours I grow stronger. The progress is slow, but it's there nonetheless. I suppose given what might have happened, I ought to be grateful that my recovery is going so well. Ironically if it hadn't been for Obi-Wan I may have ended up in much the same condition as I did on Mustafar. I owe him so much, a man I once considered my enemy. Strange how our perspectives can change depending on the place we find ourselves in life.

It's nearly nightfall on the second day of my recovery, and Luke and Leia have managed to convince Padmé that she can go home to sleep. I'm glad they managed to convince her, for I know she wasn't sleeping worth a damn here. The fact that she has asked me to come home with me is still surprising to me; but I'm not about to question it. I guess I've proven myself to her at last. And I'm determined not to bugger things up with her again.

"Excuse me Anakin, but there's someone who'd like to see you," my nurse tells me as I emerge from the fresher in my room.

"Who is it?" I ask, guessing it will likely be Obi-Wan again. He's been almost as worried as my family, and has been to see me already.

"The Chancellor," the nurse tells me. "Chancellor Organa."

I frown. Why the hell is _he _here? My curiosity, however, outweighs my dislike for the man, so I agree to see him. I walk over to the bed and sit on it, folding my arms over my chest as I wait for Organa to make his appearance. He does so at once, and I can sense in him that he hasn't come to confront me; he's come to apologize.

"Hello Anakin," he says, coming over to stand beside my bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," I tell him. "Getting stronger every day."  
He nods. "That's wonderful," he says. He rubs the back of his neck nervously before continuing. "Leia told me what happened," he continues. "How you saved her and Luke from the fire in the Temple catacombs," he adds.

"What else could I do?" I ask. "They are my flesh and blood. I'd have given my life gladly if it would have saved them."

"I know that," Organa replies. "And even though Leia is _not _my flesh and blood, I do love her as though she were," he says. "And that you did what you did for her…well, it just proves to me that I've been wrong about you," he goes on. "You've changed, Anakin," he tells me. "_Really _changed," he continues. "And I'm sorry for the trouble I caused between you and Padmé. I can see now that you and she belong together, with your children."

I'm rather shocked by his words, and wonder how much of his little speech was scripted by my daughter. And yet, I can feel how sincere he is, how contrite. Perhaps there's more to him than I've given him credit for.

"Thank you Chancellor," I say finally.

He nods, and then tentatively holds out a hand. "Can we maybe…start again?" he asks. "I remember at one time you and I were pretty good friends," he remarks with a smile.

I smile. "I remember," I reply, and then shake his hand. "I suppose when a man is given a second chance at life it's not wise to burn bridges," I comment.

Organa nods. "I couldn't agree more," he replies.

The door to my room opens at this point, and my daughter enters, accompanied by Han Solo. Leia smiles when she sees me and Organa talking and on considerably better terms.

"Dad, you look great!" Leia says, and comes over to give me a kiss. She looks at Organa. "Did I come at a bad time?" she asks.

"Not at all," Organa replies. "I just wanted to see how your father was doing," he adds, looking back at me. "Seems he's well on the road to recovery."

"That's great to hear," Han comments. "You scared the crap out of everybody, you know that Anakin?" he asks me with a smile.

I laugh. "Yeah, sorry about that," I reply.

"Don't listen to this nerf herder," Leia says, giving Han a brief scowl. "We're just all happy that you're going to be okay."

I'm not about to argue with her.

_Voice of Luke Skywalker _

Naboo – I never thought I'd actually love this place after the last time I was here, but I find myself totally captivated by its beauty and tranquility. We've been here for nearly two weeks now, and I can see my father growing stronger with each day that passes. It's hard to believe he's the same man that assaulted me and my mother in this very place more than a year ago. He _isn't _the same man, that's just it. Darth Vader was the man who came here that night, a dark, dangerous Sith. That man is dead, my father killed him, and took back his life. It's been a long road back, particularly since the path back to the light is one that's virtually untraveled. My father is the first Sith to return to the light that I know of, fulfilling the prophesy that has been surrounding him since he was first found more than three decades ago on the same ball of dust I used to call home. The boy that was rejected by the Jedi and later destroyed it is now rebuilding the Order. Funny how things turn out sometimes.

"Morning son," my father says, giving me a smile as I join him on the large terrace.

"Morning Dad," I reply, sitting down with him. I look out at the sunlight shimmering on the lake below. "Beautiful morning," I comment.

"It is," Dad agrees. "I was thinking of trying to swim to the island today," he tells me.

I look at him. "That's pretty far," I remind him. "Are you sure you're ready for that?"

Dad smiles and looks back at the lake. "You sound very much like your mother, do you know that?" he remarks.

I laugh. "Yeah, I guess so," I reply. We've all taken a hand in making sure Dad doesn't over do it, something for which he is notorious. "Still, I think you should consult with the medical droid first."

Dad sighs, in the way I know means he's annoyed, but nods his head nonetheless. "Very well," he replies. "I suppose you'll just rat me out to your mother if I don't," he adds with a hint of a smile.

"You got that right," I agree. Dad laughs.

"What time is Obi-Wan coming?" I ask him.

"Some time this morning," he tells me. "I'm eager to learn how they've been putting that money to use," he adds. I know it's killing my father not to have a hand in spending Palpatine's fortune on the Jedi Order. And yet, perhaps letting Masters Yoda and Obi-Wan have the honour is more fitting.

"It's a lot of money," I comment. "I don't think they'll even put a dent in it."  
"No, probably not," Dad agrees. "But I'm sure there are plenty of places we can use it once they're finished taking their share."

"Good morning," Mom says, coming out onto the terrace with a tray of breakfast for Dad. "Breakfast is ready Luke," she tells me. "That is if you're hungry," she adds.

"When is this boy ever _not _hungry?" Dad remarks with a smile as I stand up.

I laugh. "Never," I reply. "I'll see you later," I tell my parents and run inside to eat.

_Voice of Padmé Amidala _

"He's so much like you," I tell Anakin as he starts in on his own breakfast.

He looks up at me. "You think so?"

I nod.

"I don't know," he replies thoughtfully as he butters his toast. "He looks a lot like me, but I see a lot more of you in his personality than myself."

"I suppose both our children are a nice balance of both of us," I comment.

"The best of both of us," he adds.

I smile. "Yes, I think so too," I agree. "You were restless last night," I tell him. "Did you have a bad dream?" I ask, hoping that I'm wrong.

Anakin frowns. "No, I wouldn't call it a bad dream exactly," he replies. "But I suppose it was emotionally charged."  
I frown. "What does that mean?" I ask. "What were you dreaming?"  
He doesn't reply at first, and I can tell it's probably something he'd rather not talk about. "I dreamed about the child we lost," he tells me finally. "I dreamed I was teaching her to walk."  
I don't know how to respond to this, and say nothing. The miscarriage I suffered almost two years ago has left an indelible mark upon both of us, not just for the loss itself, which was enough, but the circumstances surrounding it. I know Anakin will feel guilty about that night for the rest of his life. There are many things he carries guilt about – the years he spent as Darth Vader were full of blood shed and violence I know he will agonize over for as long as he lives.

"I'm sorry," I say, not knowing what else I can say. "I suppose that would be difficult."

"It is," he replies. "It's not the first time I've dreamed of that child," he adds. "And it's made me think," he continues, setting down his fork. He looks up at me, and I can see in his eyes the depth of his feelings on this subject. "Why don't we have another child, Padmé?" he asks. "We can never replace the one we lost, but perhaps having another baby will help heal the wounds we both have over the loss."

His idea shocks me, for I'd had no idea he'd even considered more children. And yet, the thought of raising a child with him, an opportunity that was stolen from us both when Luke and Leia were born, is exciting.

"How long have you been thinking about this?" I ask him finally.

"Not long," he replies. "Probably just since we came here," he adds. "Before that I figured we were through," he reminds me.

I nod. "Yes, I suppose you would," I comment.

"Well? What do you think, Padmé?" he asks me. "We're still young enough to handle a baby, don't you think?"

I smile. "I suppose we are," I agree. "Of course, we'll have to wait until you get the okay from the doctors to …well, you know," I tell him.

"Yeah, I'm getting a little impatient in that department," he comments, and I have to try hard not to laugh. Anakin has never been a patient man, and being told he can't resume marital relations until the doctor says so has been rather taxing on his already limited patience. I have to admit that I'm a little impatient myself.

"Well we're going into Theed today for your check-up," I remind him. "Maybe we will get good news today."  
"I hope so," he replies. "Any longer and I'm going to explode."  
I can't help but laugh at this comment.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

Obi-Wan arrives in time for dinner, full of news about the latest developments on Coruscant. Using the money I inherited from Palpatine they have completely gutted the lower level, after storing the artefacts away safely of course. New wiring, new duct work- everything is being done, no expense spared to ensure that the lower levels are safe for use. I can't think of a better use for the ill-gotten money we've happened upon.

"So how is Master Yoda?" Leia asks over dinner. "He seemed pretty fragile the last time we saw him."

"Oh he's slowing down, no doubt of it," Obi-Wan agrees. "But he'd never admit to it of course. I think his age might be affecting his mind," he adds, frowning slightly.

"Oh? Why do you think so?" Padmé asks.

Obi-Wan smiles. "Well, I seem to be the new target for his …repopulation project," he tells us. "He's been after me for days now about finding myself a wife and having a large brood of younglings."  
I can't help but laugh upon hearing this, as well as the look on Obi-Wan's face as he tells us.

"So you needn't worry, Anakin," he quips. "I'm on the hot seat now, so to speak."  
"Now that's what I call a true friend," I remark, and pat Obi-Wan on the shoulder.

"I don't think the idea is so ridiculous," Padmé speaks up. "You're still young, Obi-Wan," she adds. "Why _don't _you find yourself someone to settle down with? Not simply as part of Yoda's mandate, but for yourself. I think you'd make an excellent father."

Obi-Wan's eyes widen upon hearing this, and he looks at me. "Me? A father?" he asks. "I thank you Padmé, but I think I'm a little long in the tooth to have such notions."

"Nonsense," Leia pipes up. "You're never too old, Master Kenobi," she remarks with a smile.

At this point Obi-Wan's face reddens, and I have to suppress another chuckle. I can sense how embarrassed he is, and how he wishes he'd never brought the subject up at all. Deciding I owe him, I deftly change the subject.

It's late, and everyone has retired to their respective rooms for the night. I've been given the proverbial green light to resume sexual relations with my wife, and so it seems as though nightfall would never arrive. Of course, waiting for Padmé to get ready for bed is almost as long a wait. It seems like she's been in there for hours. I don't know why she bothers with the sexy negligee and the hair and stuff- it's not like she's going to be wearing anything for long anyway. And her hair _always_ gets messed up. But I suppose she feels the need to do it, that it gets me in the mood. She just has to look at me and I'm in the mood- doesn't she know that by now?

Finally she emerges from the fresher, looking utterly gorgeous. I smile and hold my hand out to her.

"Are we making a baby tonight?" I ask her as she snuggles up to me in the bed.

"Well, we're going to try anyway," she tells me. "It might not happen right away, Ani. I'm in my forties now, remember."

I nod as I nuzzle the side of her neck. "Well, you know what they say," I tell her. "If at first you don't succeed, try , try again," I tell her.

Padmé laughs, and then wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer to her.


	60. Chapter 60

_Epilogue – Voice of Leia Skywalker – Three years later_

"All set?" Luke asks.

"Yes, let's go," I reply as I slide into the seat next to him. "I don't want to be late."

"Relax," he assures me. "We have plenty of time. Besides, who do you know that can fly faster than me?"

"Let's see," I begin as we lift off, "Dad, Han, me…"  
"In your dreams, little sister," Luke interjects. "In your dreams."

I don't say anything but shake my head with a smirk as the Jedi Temple grows distant behind our speeder. Luke always was a cocky one.

"Isn't Han coming?" he asks me.

I frown as I reflect on his question and shrug. "I don't know what he's doing," she replies. "I invited him, but he said he wasn't sure he could make it," I add. "Honestly Luke, I think I must be crazy to get involved with him."

Luke grins. "Crazy? Maybe. But you two belong together," he reminds me. "I've been telling you that for years."

"I know," I reply. "Try telling Dad that," I mutter under my breath.

"Is he still upset about you and Han dating?" he asks. "He's known Han for years!"  
"Yeah, well I guess that doesn't mean anything now," I sigh. "I tried to tell Han that coming tonight would go a long way to make Dad accepting him, but Han just said he wasn't an ass kisser. Can you believe he said that to me?"  
"Yes, I can totally believe it," Luke replies, and I can tell he's trying not to laugh. "Relax Leia, Dad's going to be fine," he assures me. "Besides, now he has two more daughters to be overprotective about. Shmi and Jobal will take the heat off of you big time in a few more years."

"A few more _years?"_ I moan. "Great, just …great."

_Voice of Padmé Skywalker _

"Come on little one, you can do it," I say encouragingly. I hold out my hands to little Jobal, who toddles over to me rather unsteadily. Her smile is enormous, showing all four of her tiny teeth. As she reaches me I pick her up and swing her upward, just the way that makes her laugh. Her blond curls bounce on her head as she giggles, looking down at me, her brown eyes twinkling.

"Good girl!" I say. "Who's a big girl?"

Jobal laughs again and wiggles in my hands. I set her down and look over to her twin, Shmi, who's taking wobbly steps towards her father. Having one year old twins keeps both Anakin and I more than busy, but I know that I've never been happier in my life than I am right now. And I know Anakin feels the very same way.

"You did it!" Ani says as he scoops Shmi up in his arms. He covers her chubby cheeks in kisses, making her giggle and pull at his hair. "Can you believe they're walking already?" Ani asks me, his eyes bright with excitement. "Only a year old today and already walking! They're both geniuses, Padmé, geniuses!"

I smile, not having the heart to tell him that many children walk at one year of age, sometimes even younger. The pride he has in our children warms my heart. With Luke and Leia weeks away from the Trials, he's had his hands full with helping them fine tune their skills. And yet, even still he has managed to spend time with our new twins. We are both enjoying our time with little Jobal and Shmi, savouring each milestone and new discovery they make as they journey through babyhood. Neither of us will ever get past the fact that we missed out on Luke and Leia's infancy and most of their childhood, nor will we ever forget the little one we lost. But Shmi and Jobal have brought a joy to our lives we've never known, and a sense of completion that has strengthened the bond between Anakin and me. It's hard to imagine him now as anything but the loving father and husband he has become; the dark lord he once was is gone forever, and I find it difficult to even remember him in that way. I know he will never forget though, and even though he's never admitted it, I know that he still has nightmares about the time he spent in the Darkness.

"Shouldn't Luke and Leia be here by now?" Anakin asks as we bring the twins into the dining room for supper. "It's not every day their little sisters have their first birthday."

"They'll be here," I assure him. "You know how they both adore the babies."

"Well can you blame them?" Anakin replies, looking down at Shmi with a smile. He plants a kiss on the back of her neck, making her giggle.

I smile. "Not at all," I reply.

_Voice of Anakin Skywalker _

Luke and Leia arrive just as dinner is about to be served. I listen to them trying to blame the other for their late arrival and simply smile.

"So long as you're both here, does it really matter?" Padmé speaks up finally, ever the diplomat.

Luke and Leia look at each other. "I guess not," Leia admits finally. "Even if it was his fault," she can't resist adding. Luke wisely says nothing, but shakes his head in disbelief.

"I thought Han would be joining us tonight," Padmé asks.

Leia looks up at Padmé and then shoots a quick glance my way before looking back at her mother. "I…I don't know," she replies.

"He was invited, wasn't he?" Padmé asks, looking at me. She knows I'm not happy about Leia dating Han, but doesn't seem to share my concerns.

"I don't know, was he?" I ask nonchalantly.

"Of course he was," Luke pipes up. "He's always here for birthday dinners."

"Yeah, well I don't…" Leia begins, and then stops as Han enters the room. The feelings I sense from my eldest daughter as she looks at him are not hard to read, even for someone who isn't Force sensitive. And although I know they are supposed to be together, it still isn't easy for me to accept. I suppose I will always think of Leia as my little girl, even though she's almost twenty-two years old.

"Sorry I'm late," Han says to Padmé. "Traffic was a nightmare," he adds, giving me a smile.

"It usually is this time of day," Padmé replies. "I'm glad you could make it, Han," she adds as he takes his usual seat. "We're all glad, aren't we Ani?"

"Yes, we're delighted," I reply automatically.

Han smiles and then looks at Leia briefly before returning his attention to Padmé. "Everything looks great, Padmé," he says. "Thanks again for the invitation."

"You're always welcome here, Han," Padmé replies. "You know that."

Dinner is followed by birthday cake, as well as a veritable mountain of presents. The twins seem far more interested in the wrappings however than the gifts within them. They're so precious, my little ones. All of my children are, but I'm so grateful to have the chance to raise Jobal and Shmi in a way that I couldn't with Luke and Leia. I know I will never take for granted any moment I can share with them. Life is good to me, finally, and it seems that at long last I know what peace is.

"Cake Dad?"

I look up at Leia, who's handing me a piece of cake with a generous dollop of ice-cream on the side. She studies me for a moment. "You okay?"

"Yes," I reply, taking the plate from her. "I'm better than okay, actually," I add.

Leia smiles, and then gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for not making Han feel like an intruder," she whispers in my ear. "You're his hero you know."

I look over at the man who will undoubtedly be my son-in-law one day and nod. "I know," I reply. "He's a good man, Leia," I tell her. "This is just going to take some getting used to."

She nods. "I know that," she replies. "But we've all had to get used to a lot lately, haven't we?"

I smile as my gaze drifts to the newest members of our family, each of whose faces are now covered in ice cream. "You can say that again," I reply.

Shmi and Jobal finally settle after an inordinately long time, the extra sugar at bed time doing nothing to help calm them down after the excitement of presents. Luke and Leia have also gone to bed, and the house is quiet as I join Padmé in our bed.

"I think everyone had a nice time, don't you?" she asks as she snuggles next to me.

"Yes," I reply, putting my arm around her. "Especially the babies."  
Padmé smiles, but says nothing for a moment or two. "I wish my parents could have met our children," she says finally, and I can sense her sadness. "They would have adored them."

"They would have," I agree. "My mother would have as well," I add.

She nods, and is pensive for a moment. "You know, I've come to realize that life is too short, too precious to dwell on the past," she says. "Life goes by too quickly not to live each moment to the fullest."

I nod and kiss the top of her head. "I couldn't agree more," I tell her. "Not many people are given the opportunities that I have," I comment.

Padmé looks up at me. "You mean having your injuries fixed? When you thought they were beyond repair?"  
"Well, that's part of it," I reply. "Most I mean you, Padmé," I tell her.

"Me?" she asks.

"Yes," I reply, kissing the top of her head. "You. You've given my life meaning, Padmé," I tell her. "I define myself in terms of my relationship with you and the family you've given me," I explain. "Not only that, you've forgiven me more times than I can count," I go on. "And most of the time I didn't merit forgiveness. I must be the luckiest man in the universe."

Padmé says nothing for a moment, but I can sense how my words have touched her. "I thought the Jedi didn't believe in luck," she says at last, looking up at me with a smile.

I laugh. "Well, it's been my experience that the Jedi aren't always right," I tell her. "But don't tell Obi-Wan I said so," I hasten to add.

She smiles. "Not a word," she replies, snuggling down into my embrace.

THE END


End file.
